- [Interviewer] So you two are sisters and you both have fetal alcohol syndrome. Does that mean you're exactly alike? - [Both] No. - It's kind of hard some days. Like, it's kind of hard. 'Cause when I go out into the world, I watch kids and I watch their families and I look at them and I think, "They're with their real families, with their real mom, their real dad." And because my mom
couldn't stop with drugs, I can't function like those kids. I won't be able to know everything because not everything
can stay inside my head. If you have one person out
there that understands you and you can turn to them,
turn to them and talk, because it can get hard. If I didn't have Aniya, I would probably not talk to anybody, not even my family, because, like, she talks also. When I, nobody can understand me 'cause there's times when
I can get words mixed up and they can't understand a thing and she can make it clear. - [Interviewer] What is it like for you when Alexis is anxious? - Well, I think it's just my second nature that I just kick right in. (chuckles) Well, most of the
time I think she's dramatic, but that's just because I
am the one that steps in, and I always think it
doesn't have to be that much. So I just tell her,
"This is how I see it." And most of the time that helps. Like, there was a time at DMV where a lady walked up to
us to ask us a question and Alexis went to go answer, but her whole sentence came out at once and it sounded like nothing. And she ended up putting
her hand in her lap, mumbling to herself. - Crying. - But without even thinking, I kicked in, I answered for her. - [Interviewer] When you
don't understand something, what do you do? - When I can't understand a word, I look up a word in the dictionary, and that normally breaks down everything. And then if I can't understand a sentence, I look up every word in the
sentence in the dictionary. - [Interviewer] Why is
learning important to you? - It's important to me because when you go
out there in the world, there's so many people out there who look down at you
because of what you have. And you want to know all that you can so that what they say
about you isn't right. - [Interviewer] Does she often communicate some of her negative experiences with you? - Yes, she does communicate
a lot of negative and we try to turn around to
show her the positive side of the world, because when you're adopted, sometimes you see that negative, you know, and we don't want it to be her life of just thinking everything's negative. We even speak positive about
her biological parents, because they weren't bad people, they just were people that used drugs. - [Interviewer] What type of
emotions do you experience when you think about
your biological mother? - I'm kind of angry at her and I'm kind of sad, 'cause she tried to get help but she didn't make the choice to stop. - [Interviewer] What is the
best thing about your family? - That they're always
there whenever we need 'em. When I'm not with Aniya,
I'm always with Kaitlyn, Mom or Dad. And they always help me through
what I need to get through. - [Interviewer] Your two of the bio kids? - Yes. - [Interviewer] What's it like
to be two biological children in a family that's adopted a bunch of kids with fetal alcohol syndrome? - It wasn't really that different because growing up, my parents were always taking in cousins. So probably as early as we could remember, we always had cousins coming in, living with us for years at a time. - So yeah, there's five
biological and then five adopted. However, Brooklyn is not
here with us right now. She's in respite care. Can I break it down a different way? - [Interviewer] Yes.
- So my parents adopted five and then later down the road, another baby was born
from the same parents, and my parents were like,
"We cannot take anymore in. So my sister who lives in Las
Vegas, she adopted that one. Then later down the road, another baby was born
and my parents still, they could not take anymore in. And then my sister in
Vegas wasn't in a position to take another one in, so she adopted that one. So they're all siblings, and they're all still in the family.
- From the same mom. His biological mom is married to my uncle. - It's just, it's our normal. I think it's complicated for other people, but it's normal for us. - Yeah, it's simple in my mind. (chuckles) - [Interviewer] Tell me about your family. - So they have been really great and we have been fun this year. - [Interviewer] So what's it like to be biological sisters and be adopted? - Well, sometimes when
we look at each other, like, I'll look at her
when she's having a bad day and I can tell she needs to talk. So we'll find a place,
just for us, to go talk, which would normally be our room. And if I need somebody to talk to, I'll just look at her and
we'll just go to our room. - For me, it's not like that. (both chuckle) For me, it's just how life is, because I was adopted as a baby so I don't remember anything. So growing up, this is my mom and dad. This is my sisters. This is my, everybody I'm
around is my sister and brother. - [Interviewer] How do you feel when you sit beside your siblings? - I feel happy and I feel secure and safe. - [Interviewer] What's it
like to feel secure and safe? - Getting to know that your
friends and family are there and being together with you, laughing and talking, and you get to be feel safe and know that no one, no
harm will come to you. - [Interviewer] What's the
best thing about being you? - You get to enjoy life and be surrounded by friends and family, always there for you. - [Interviewer] Is there
anything unique about you? - I cannot tell jokes. - [Interviewer] You can't tell jokes? - No.
- [Interviewer] Why not? - Because I'm not good at it. - Tell me about Eli. - Well, Eli, he's funny. He also loves Sonic and superheroes. He loves playing with Ninja Turtles and he also is very short. (laughing) We always make fun of him for that. And we say he's our little
brother, littler than Mackenzie. - [Interviewer] Who's older. Does that mean he bosses you around? - Not usually. I try bossing him around. Only 'cause I'm taller, but he's tiny. - [Interviewer] Have
your parents or siblings ever taught you about
fetal alcohol syndrome? - They said it's just
like a disorder of like, it's when somebody, like, when they, when your mom drinks and
while she's birthing you, while you're in her stomach and
she drinks and does alcohol, stuff like that, and it can mess up your brain and do stuff to it, like
shrink and stuff like that. - [Interviewer] What did you
think when they told you that? - I thought my brain was probably
as tiny as a mustard seed. - [Interviewer] It seems like
a really smart brain to me. (Eli giggles) Hey, wait a second. You said you can't tell jokes and I think you just
told a really funny joke. (Eli giggles) What advice do you have
for other kids out there who are adopted? - Just try to push yourself
to know as much as you can, because the world's
always gonna look at you as somebody that doesn't know
as much as everybody else. - [Interviewer] Is it easy
for you to make friends? - Yes, because I like to talk to people, so making friends isn't a problem. It's keeping them. There's other kids that are our age, but like there's different, we're different, or they're different. It's not the same. Like kids my age, they
just wanna sit around on their phones. They have their own cars by now. They go to schools. We don't. We're homeschooled. Things like that are different. - I picked out this dress
to make with my sister. I wanted it for my birthday, because I wanted to have a
tea party for my birthday. And- - [Interviewer] On your 18th birthday? - Yes. - [Interviewer] How was the tea party? - It was fun. There was a lot of laughing. - [Interviewer] What is it like
to have different interests than other people your age? - Well, sometimes it's fun and sometimes it's stressful. We race 'cause we like to
always see who's faster. We like to be playing card games, whereas normal, not normal,
but other teenagers, most teenagers don't. They like to sit there and talk, which talking is okay, but for a certain period, then it's just old. And we like to run, play. We like to play hide and seek in the dark. - [Interviewer] Is life better when you're with people
who understand you? - Yeah, it's nice.
- No. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] Why? - Because, well I've never
had to explain the way I talk, because of course I look normal, but I guess I'm not. Okay, so we have friends here
that live very close to us, and when we're around them,
we get along perfectly because we're always racing and we're always
competing or we're playing red light, green, different games. And they're 11 and... No, they're nine and 13. And we get along perfectly fine with them. We also have other friends
that are my sister's friends and they have an 18 year old, and to me, she is like an alien 'cause she's so glued to her
phone or she just is different. - When I had friends, like, they said I wasn't as smart as them or they said that I don't get everything and that I wasn't smart with math. I don't know everything in
math, but I do know enough. And just because they know more than me, doesn't mean they are smarter than me. - Even the schools, they don't understand. - Yeah. - So we homeschooled 'cause
they didn't understand. - [Interviewer] What don't
the schools understand? - They don't understand anything. We would put 'em in school, they'd say they didn't
get enough work done. - People just need to know, like, the difference between
how we are around them and how they expect us to be. And then when they do know, I thought everything will go, like it's not gonna be so stressful. - [Interviewer] What does it feel like when you don't understand something? - Sometimes it would get me like angry 'cause I don't understand it that much. So I'll just like walk away from it. That's what usually happens. - When I don't understand anything I get irritated and
frustrated even more and more to where I start crying,
pouting or throwing a tantrum. - So with fetal alcohol syndrome, the alcohol attacks the brain and it eats out pieces of the brain. - With Solomon, my six year old, he has fetal alcohol syndrome, and when I tell somebody or
disclose that information, they always say, "But he looks so normal." And they'll say that
about my siblings too. "They look so normal. I
would've never guessed." So then we have to go down this, or when we feel like it, go down a rabbit hole
to whoever will listen. And I usually take it as
a teaching opportunity and I'll talk until they
don't let me. (laughs) - So we tried charter school. They said, "They didn't get
enough work assignments done for the week." But I tried to explain to them what fetal alcohol syndrome is, and one paper or one lesson is enough because that's all they could do. And they said they understood, but in reality they didn't. So they'd tell me I wasn't
teaching 'em enough, you know, because they
can't grasp, like math, or they'll learn something on Thursday, but by Sunday they forget it. So they didn't understand. So if they didn't understand, they can't really be help to you. - [Interviewer] Alexis, do you
like that your mom advocates for you and expresses these things? - Yes, because she understands
what it's like for me. She has been told, I tell her, and when I can't express it, she can tell people for me. - [Interviewer] Is it easier for you to learn in a homeschool environment? - Oh yeah. Definitely. - It gives you more time than what would, like, school, you are limited on time, but when you're homeschooled, you have more time to finish it. - Yeah, I think it'd be
nice to go to a school that actually understood
to like give kids time, the amount of time, not rush 'em to learn. And where I've gone to school before, and that is not what I had. I was always rushed. I didn't understand
'cause nobody was there to explain it to me. And then, even though they told me, they weren't there to tell me again. But I think it would
be nice to go to school if there was a school like that. But for right now, the
best thing is homeschool, 'cause it's just, we do,
we go at our own pace. - What people don't understand, they think because
their bodies look normal that they can use kind
of like the same excuse you use with other kids. But you can't use that for them. They'll grow up, they'll get
older, they'll outgrow this, but they won't. - My mom can tell me who to trust. And I believe my mom in everything. She's never lied to me once. So if she tells me I
can trust that person, I will trust them. And if Aniya knows
something about somebody that I can't trust, then I'll trust Aniya to tell me. - Well, one situation
in the story is Alexis. She would pay for an item,
so she'd get through paying. So she'd be happy she
accomplished that task that she could actually pay. But then she would leave
the item on the counter. - Or she would like, give a $20 bill for something that cost $3 and come out with no change. - But she'd bring the item
back but not the change. - And sometimes I can't
remember everything. Like, we have animals and we have routines, and I can't get them down. I can't remember every
single thing in them. And when something thing is added, I kind of get mad because
my routine changes. - [Interviewer] What do
you think when you realize that you forgot something at the store? - I get mad at myself because
I couldn't remember anything. - [Interviewer] Do you want
her to get mad at herself? - Yes and no, 'cause it could be a learning tool for her to try to work a little bit harder, but then she gets beat up a lot about it, you know, about what, if we can't give her more than two tasks to do at one time, we have to give her one, go complete it, give her the second task, go complete it and give her the third. So, sometimes it could be good for her, but at the same time,
it could be frustrating. - [Interviewer] What's
the most important thing for other people to know about Solomon? (mom laughs) (Solomon giggles) - Just that some things he takes, he needs a little extra time to do. And he does things
differently and that's okay. - It's a busy job having all 10. With having the five with FASD, 'cause normally Brooklyn's here, so, she's just taking a break
right now, being in respite 'cause she has reactive
attachment disorder also with her fetal alcohol syndrome. So she has a lot of anger issues. So we like to let her go away and regroup and, you know, take a rest. So it gets very busy because
we have complete structure in the house. Everything's structured. - [Interviewer] What do you think, Eli, is the world a good place or a bad place? - A good place. - [Interviewer] Why? - Because it's like, I
mean, there are bad parts, but the whole world has bad parts. But there's also good parts and you can revolve
around those good parts. (all laughing) - I'm trying not to laugh right now, because when they really
get into the giggles, it's very contagious. - Oh, I remember that one. - So if she starts laughing, we'll all be falling on on the floor. (Eli giggling) - [Interviewer] Well, make me a promise. You have to be super serious, 'cause there's definitely no
laughing in my interviews. And if just one of you laughs, it will ruin everything
we've worked so hard on! (all laughing) Just one little giggle will
destroy this whole interview. (all laughing) - I don't make promises. - [Interviewer] When somebody
finishes this interview, what do you hope they remember from it? - That not all people are the same. Everybody's different But it's also not a bad
different, it's a good different, and that there's ways around everything if you just take the time. Life wasn't always at a certain speed. If you can slow down a while,
everything will be fine.
I learned so much about the syndrome today. Thank you! I think a very important point was brought up toward the end about letting students take some time to actually understand the material before moving to the next one.
Wonderful video, inspiring and heartfelt.