Foundations of Honor: Effective Feedback

but when you're given feedback you know we've we've we've discovered some underlying issues here we've we've brought them up that person that actually owns them they saw them they owned them what what do you now feel like is the goal of giving them feedback what what is what are you what are you wanting to accomplish with the feedback that you now present them with I think I've you know I've been a few in confrontation and I watch you work with people sometimes tonight I'm always struck and I think it's important for folks to know is how occasionally strong you are if if they're if they're solution it's their description of the mess that they've made and they're how they think they're gonna solve it and clean it up isn't strong enough I mean we've we've been in situations where they're potential molest going on very difficult painful things and you've the culture of Honor I've walked out going oh that's what it looks like because you I've seen you lean in a go I don't believe you and just really put them back on the spot and go whatever that thing was and I'm actually not trying to how do I say this I need to make you feel a little uneasy right now because you're trying to you know tell me this isn't raining right now and I know it is you're trying to avoid it really what we need to do exactly so everyone so I think you I've seen you give it back to them you know and so sometimes your feedback feedback has been strong in the sense of like I'm not sure that you've totally I'm clean with all the ramifications of this and how large this method and even that it is a mess or even that it's actually your problem though so those are things I've learned from you that I'm I think I seen you do it gently but it feels in the moment when somebody gets their stuff handed back to them that they're like well this isn't normal because because you know my goal and feedback is I expect you to adjust I really do I mean there this whole thing was to create an adjustment that's helpful you know I'd be like you wouldn't go to the chiropractor and have him just rub your back you know like do something man I need some adjustment here I need this thing to line up and so the feedback is is is is really to create an adjustment how about for you what do you what do you what are you trying to accomplish with giving good feedback well most the time I want freedom like my heart and confrontation is I want to set you up for success in life with God with other people with the people that you're around in this environment whoever they're affecting like I think love is I care about you enough that I want you to thrive and these behaviors are gonna stop you from thriving and so most of the time my intention is I want freedom and I want for your life to get better beacon for the people around you I often think about if you're not confronting that one person about how they're affecting you you also aren't protecting them for the rest of the people that they're affecting and so all these people might be rejecting them from this one issue they have where you could just say hey this is going on and that would be loving them so that they could connect with people deeper so I always want hey this is because I care about you I love you I want to see the best for you there's a powerful scripture about that anything in Luke 17 or Jesus talks about a millstone being tied on your neck and that's sort of the old very gentle Jesus but it's in the context of sin if your brother sins rebuking T for your penance but in in there he says in verse 3 says he says it's very dangerous for sin to roll through your life so and this is his great advise at that moment so watch yourselves yeah and it's intriguing that we reread it as be self aware like you know better watch out because you don't want the sin to roll through your life to somebody else so watch yourself but it's actually a plural it's watch y'all selves oh yeah oh yeah oh y'all give feedback to each other yeah and look out for each other so that you actually can hear like this is what this is how we're experiencing this behavior this is why it's it's Gary instead of letting somebody go through their life from church Church relationship to relationship going through the same cycle of destruction you know everything's okay and then it's not everything's okay that's not

Channel: Loving on Purpose

Views: 8,721

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Teams, Honor, Culture, Foundations, Feedback, Communication, Foundations of Honor, Dann Farrelly, Abi Stumvoll, Loving on purpose, Bethel Church

Id: bbIkUbLFtZA

Length: 4min 25sec (265 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 28 2015