Florida Isn't Real

I've lived in Florida my whole life I've seen things that you'd only read about in fairy tales I could tell you stories that you would swear were false I knew a guy in college who used to ask to lick people's shoes on the streets the bottom of their shoes on the street for his own sexual gratification I imagine I don't know if it was sexual it's my theory but he used to love licking shoes and he became known as the Ebor shoe licker eboard being the area that he resides in point is I'm getting lost in the the lore of the Florida comic book superheroes the point is these eyes have laid upon things that could traumatize even the most grizzled of Navy Seals and yet still I'm surprised by some of the things that happen in Florida today I watched the news story that I can't make heads or tails of I don't know who's in the right and who's in the wrong here you know so I just wanted to share it with all of you because it's starting to convince me that Florida is not even a real place it's just like a giant sketch comedy section and like a quarantined zone of bad sketches gone wrong but I went to jail they come arrested me last Thursday they were here I ain't losing the animals but I was not expecting them to lose them to my neighbor that was like my friend so those are the main characters here and I'll give you a quick backstory so their neighbors and one of them killed the other's rooster now the guys claiming it was done in self-defense because the rooster was extremely aggressive and he's facing potentially up to like five years in jail for animal cruelty he already spent like 30 hours in jail for this the other guy's claiming he did it just maliciously to kill the rooster and we're about to get a lot of exposition here so get ready I didn't know to give it a 21 gun salute CPR mouth to mouth you know or call the chicken ambulance big Roo was Jason day Felice's pet rooster that is until James Nix hit it with a stick now like a game of Clue we have the murder weapon and the location of the murder but we don't know the circumstances as to why we know James is responsible for the execution of big Rue but we don't know the motive we also know James sounds like Larry the Cable Guy but that might not be good evidence for us we get James's side of the story here and the way he tells this war story makes it sound like a big Rue was the raid boss of this trailer park he makes it sound like you know big Rue was coming around the block to shake James down for his lunch money and James panicked and in self-defense hit it with a stick which unfortunately killed the rooster he didn't mean to kill it he just wanted to get it away from him but it unfortunately led to the demise of big Roo he then says that he didn't do c CPR or mouth to mouth are called a chicken ambulance saying that he didn't know what to do kind of panicking about it which I don't think is going to help James's case here since he just left the body in a ditch he could have absolutely called the chicken ambulance I mean we all know that hotline number you know it's like the Ghostbusters who are you gonna call Chicken ambulance but he didn't do even that so he just he hit it with a stick and then left it which is sad and I do know from personal experience roosters can be some real aggressive sons of [ __ ] that's for [ __ ] sure I remember being a little kid in like a school field trip took us to a petting zoo bro those roosters will come at you with a head of steam sometime looking to take your [ __ ] heart out so I have no doubt that there probably was an element of self-defense here but I don't blame the rooster or anything I blame the owner he was being kept as a pet and the owner clearly does nothing to like monitor it or keep it on a leash though I don't I don't know if you're like supposed to keep Roosters on a leash and walk them or something that I'm not familiar with but like it keep them from like just wandering in Neighbors yards and you know being let loose the owner just didn't do anything to protect his pet and just let it wander the entire neighborhood which gets brought up here in a minute so I'm defending myself you know I was feared for my safety and the chicken you know uh died Nick says the rooster attacked people I have not heard that because I know the neighbor here uh I know him like we're friends he never said anything to me about it I did tell him after checking him my dad said hey man the chicken attack my dad I want to do it's just a chicken what's he gonna do you know okay well look now James pulls out the receipts here he's got the photos to prove it man was using that Dell laptop to print these bad boys out specifically for the interview showing that the chicken does have a history of attacking so he's saying that his father was a victim of the big Roux and you can see some of the scars here so big root was terrorizing this area though Jason disagrees saying that no one ever said that including James and truthfully I just don't know who to believe here because it's very possible James could have just printed off any photos of a leg injury and claimed it was big Rue that did it to try and establish a History of Violence to try and justify the self-defense with the stick and I'd like to see the stick that struck down big Roo because that's got to be the biggest stick in all of Florida like a goddamn mahogany tree trunk or like a caveman's Club to take out big Rue in a single strike that thing must have been the weight of Thor's hammer the neighbors even disagree on how others saw big Rue the kids that used to live over there they were throwing rocks and sticks at this chicken to keep it away I know the kids down here they played with the rooster a little bit like with their rocks at it and Chase it so one Jason that's not playing with the rooster that's being afraid of it and trying to get it the [ __ ] away from them who plays by throwing rocks at each other hey Bill come on over here let's play this fun game of being stoned to death it's great like again it's hard to know who's in the right and who's in the wrong here but I am leaning more on the side of James did this as an accident in self-defense Jason's attitude is pretty douchey and he does not understand what playing is oh yeah that James is a real jerk he's a no-good liar the everyone in the neighborhood loved big Roo the kids would throw rocks at him run away screaming and crying it was so much fun and I know they're going to be really upset to learn the news here also I think Jason does bear a big fault because he's the pet owner and he did nothing to you know monitor the pet just leaving it completely open to roam the area clearly even he's not defending that he's talking about how like the neighborhood kids would throw rocks so clearly there's a history of Jason just letting the rooster wander around completely unsupervised which is very irresponsible day when Nick says the rooster followed him and attacked him his neck flares up and he's doing his thing and he's trying to jump up at me he was trying to get the animal away this makes total sense to me because if there was a big rooster coming at me and it started busting out the Squidward dance I'd probably Panic too and try and flee your you know flight or fight response would kick in you know it'd be a real mess again the way James tells this story just seems a lot more genuine than the way Jason tells it but it's just so hard to know for sure but I also think it would have made a lot of sense if James truly did this in self-defense to go to Jason be like look man you know we all loved big Rue and unfortunately something tragic just happened and then explained it to him I I feel like it wouldn't have got this far but it seems like he just left the roosters corpse outside just just like rotting outside so which means that Jason now doesn't trust James story because James made no attempt to like communicate what actually happened to Jason I guess this is just there's so many [ __ ] plot lines going on here I feel like I'm trying to dissect Evangelion this it's just so many moving parts and I try to hit it but the chicken's jumping up at me and I accidentally knocked it in the head you know call it a lucky shot whatever but when Dave police say came home all he saw was his rooster dead in a ditch you see what I mean leaving the body out there was just a bad move from James because it immediately makes Jason question what the [ __ ] happened and why it makes it seem like James just killed his Rooster In Cold Blood and left it outside like a like a trophy or a warning to other roosters like Vlad the Impaler putting the goddamn big Roux on a pike it's it's just there there could have been a much more efficient way of handling this just like more communication like Jason you stupid imbecile you again left big root unsupervised and it tried to attack me and I accidentally hit it in the head and unfortunately it went right to Valhalla you know like they could have talked it out they both shoulder a lot of blame here but I really do think Jason's intentions were self-defense roosters again from what I understand can be very aggressive Jason openly States yes this rooster just wandered around this entire area neighborhood kids threw rocks the other neighbors over here you know knew the knew the rooster you know so clearly there's just a lot of problems in general with what happened here and it's a sad story but one that I find so fascinating I said I'm calling JSO I called JSO JSO didn't do not and then a couple days later I realized I could call animal control and in late June James six went to jail for animal cruelty next thing you know he calls a chicken police on me that's the last organization you want to visit from the chicken police are no-nonsense ruthless Strictly Business merciless and they will [ __ ] you up you know God have mercy on the soul of someone who gets a visit from the chicken police while the neighbors continue to fight Nick says he never should have been arrested chickens dying every day people at churches Popeyes and Kentucky Fried Chicken really he's not wrong but it's not a great comparison either because it's not like those chickens are being hit with a stick in the back of the restaurant that they were Factory farmed this was a guy's pet again I think both people are at fault here but I just don't know who's more in the wrong I don't know if it's necessarily animal cruelty if it was done in self-defense like a rooster I mean they could hurt you right like it's not like they're completely unable to do damage to human beings people get attacked by chickens and it causes damage usually not life-threatening or anything but you still don't want to just be attacked by a random animal just on your way home again Jason shouldn't just let his roosters wander around and you know rampage this whole neighborhood and James should have done more to tell Jason what happened you know that it was an accident that big Roux attacked him so again just a wild story and Florida is just so full of wackiness I couldn't help but just bring this one up that's about it see ya

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 3,733,638

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Id: zhWT8KthEd0

Length: 10min 50sec (650 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 14 2022