FFXIV's Biggest Disease... | Aѕmongold Reacts

this is a video that a lot of people have asked me to watch it's called the parsing and final fantasy is a disease you suck your parse doesn't matter generally true so you want to know the reason why i got the rank one parse on star auger like yes i was very good at playing my character however i called the entire raid to attack the ad while i got to build up stacks of juggernaut which made my execute do consecutively more and more and more damage on the last ball on the on the last part of the fight and basically everybody stopped dps and and all i did was execute the boss because i convinced the raid that it's better for me to build execute stacks on the boss and everybody else does the mechanics everyone's like yeah that makes sense right because it actually did kind of make sense and so i did this and yes number one parse in the world overall all classes because i was able to i was the radio leader and i told everybody we're gonna do this special strat and you're gonna appreciate the fact that i did this for you and so yeah it makes sense exactly so you pad everybody that gets ranked one parses pads everybody does like this is just the way it works like look at that like go what look at these chinese logs of these guys that get 17 power infusions in one boss fight yeah that's the way it goes greetings travelers this will be my last truly evil video for a while time to really get under people's skin and talk about a calculator parsing itself as in the act of tabulating damage numbers is not inherently good or bad it's just a stat line it's what people choose to do with these stats that ultimately devalues it unfortunately disliking parsing brings out some turbo casuals who think that i'm advocating for not pressing buttons at all so to help you out yes here is my ff logs profile please ignore those last three numbers i did those on patch release when samurai competition had already completely died so it's not legitimate much like how any parse is not legitimate if you can't deal adequate that's that's exactly right i i no oranges no i mean like look i i had uh bro i had actual rank ones man blue parser blue parsing is hard to do and also i wanna you know just i do this all the time right let's you know let's get out the vhs tapes uh give me a second well let's go ahead we're just going to look right here and um this was uh a young asmongold back in the day uh this was back and uh this was a decent uh a decent patch for me it wasn't like really that incredible or impressive but you know i i did have uh that and um you know i played there and uh then after that we have a high mall high mall was you know relatively good had a few 99s um this one was not necessarily that great uh i came in i didn't do progression for this fight and so uh there's that one and then hellfire citadel obviously uh you know 99s as well some rank one parses i think out of some of those uh going to legion as well i rated in legion a lot and uh let's look at emerald nightmare so uh there we go uh that's whenever i rated a lot an emerald nightmare uh did pretty well relatively decent parses right there uh into trial of valor trial of hour not particularly great to be completely honest with you and uh let's see i think that yeah oh there we go that's a little bit of a better parse there okay a little bit better and then look at nighthold as well multiple uh multiple uh really really high parses and then by tomah sargeras i had pretty much given up and so that's pretty much what happened there and uh yeah that that's the way things go so yeah i uh i i used to parse a lot and i was very serious about it i even had videos about this and all of that stuff and what about classic classic parsing why the fuck would i parse in classic it's the stupidest thing i've ever heard we're not gonna parse in classic oh my god what a joke damage or insist on slowing down my normal instances to a crawl i am disappointed in you please do better with that parsing is a disease it poisons people's minds and the way in which they dare to perceive this game it is an illness that infects the very core of people's beings and possesses them to make the most inane decisions and vacuous statements people believe that their worth as a person is determined by their rank on ff logs it isn't it's worthless it is yeah it actually doesn't matter at all because a lot of people that parse this is the thing a lot of people that parse they do the mechanics wrong on purpose so parsing for anybody who doesn't know somebody said chat doesn't know parsing parsing is basically whenever you do a lot of damage on a fight to the extent to where you want to compete on like a global leader board for who did the most damage on the fight the thing that they don't really tell you though about parsing is that in order to get a rank one parse you have to in a lot of cases not do mechanics in certain ways and do things that are not ideal for your group basically it's like these things are not ideal uh you know like let's say you stand in mechanics let's say people have to heal you more let's say something like this happens and also dragons enchant dragon do you remember i forgot which boss it was that we fucking turned off of public logging and then we killed the boss like two attempts after that because everybody in the guild was trying to parse our progression yeah he remembers this yeah like he was trying to parse our progression and we couldn't kill the boss because everybody's trying to do too much damage and i was finally like okay turn off turn off logging no more logging everyone's like oh well why are we gonna do that then we can't look at things like well you can still look at private logs i was like well yeah but uh you know they're trying to come up with some excuse right for this to be okay and and then we turn it off and then everybody just kills the boss it's like everybody just stops worrying about popping their cooldowns on the ad phase and they save it for the phase that matters yeah that's it that that's that's it uh fights give you a damage downs i i know that they give you damage downs in final fantasy but i can guarantee you that there are probably ways to play differently or to take more risks that are not as um for you to play in a way that is uh less secure and has a a lower success rate and do more damage like that's just the way pretty much every game is and like i i'm i i feel like that's like yeah yeah greeting like yeah there's even a term for it means to create a hierarchy within the raiding community so that some clears are better than others yes this is when i say that high score competitions are fine and i don't even hate people for grinding this shit out but what i do hate is how it bleeds into every facet of raiding to the point of redundancy where i have dumbasses telling me that losing a single gcd of uptime for an easier strat is trolling and i should commit he saw sue kaiten instead of just clearing the fight and moving on it's also this is always what i do too like i i find a strategy that works and it's always usually a like a shitty strategy for doing damage but it is very safe and i always use that strategy and i do it every time and it works every time our current savage tier has next to zero melee downtime because these fuck faces couldn't imagine having to disconnect from the boss for a split second during progression we all just wanted to hit a training dummy for the whole fight huh even though downtime optimizations is where all the actual work goes into playing this game at a top level paladin spreadsheet gaming is a popular meme for this specific reason it also creates my other favorite type of player which are healers who are more concerned about a number on an unofficial scoreboard than keeping people alive these are also the people healers that try to parse are the worst thing ever we had this one girl if dragon is still in chat do you remember emmy running in running in with her fucking hammer to to fucking hit gahoon just so she could get more fucking damage points in for avenging wrath and then she gets hit by all the mechanics and and like you try to call her out on it and there's like 15 different fucking excuses and you see her getting knocked around by the balls and she's running in i'm coming with their wings on oh my god that's why it's one of the reasons i stopped showing up like tired of this shit don't watch this i miss emmy yeah it's like listen dude like i i she was uh she this is this is the thing it's all you need to know about this girl okay she was stealing gold out of the guild bank and whenever i finally called her out on it she said that she was only doing it to see if i still cared yeah yeah this girl was nuts man insist that losing an energy drain cast is very important and very consequential yeah that extra 100 potency is a real difference maker all because they can't just get a clear instead their team is simply an obstacle preventing them from getting a completely worthless medal part of why talking about parses is so stupid is because what do these ranks even mean it means that of the people who cleared what percentile of damage dealing you are in keywords of the people who clear this means that even the shittiest parts of a fight is a clear this is why 50 parse which is right in the middle and average isn't actually average because it doesn't consider how many people attempted but never cleared the fight in the first place that's true it's also why it's funny as fuck to listen to some booger taste testers say that a grey person an ultimate is not a real clear so then you go ahead and ask them what part wow this is the rich defense team look at that yeah this is what happened with with rich because like so rich cleared i forgot which boss it was yeah i i don't remember which one and um rich cleared it was like the bahamat one or another one and he had a gray parse and everybody like everybody in my chat would come in they would be like hey did you guys see did you see rich's parts did you see how bad it was i'm like no i didn't see the ski they're like you've got to look at it man like you've got to look at how bad it is and i'm like why you're like because it's so bad rich sucks like he got carried rich is bad i'm like really and like yeah i'm like that's crazy okay well anyway um you know and that's about it but they were just so fucking upset about this it's it's crazy check final fantasy logs right now parsers enable terrible teammates parsers i i think what it does is it creates the reason why parsing is bad is that it creates and it's not that it's bad it can be bad uh is that it creates a um a goal that can sometimes exist uh directly against clearing the raid because people will want to parse more than they will want to clear and so they will take risks that cause the raid to have more wipes or have more mistakes or put more stress on the team because they are trying to uh they're trying to do this so it's a problem that exists at the expense of the team that that's kind of why it's bad first they got oh what's that you didn't clear it how about you shut the fuck up while a grey parson and ultimate is more impressive than a grey and savage it doesn't matter but these imbeciles can't even tell the difference anyways it's not only that it's also stupid because they get so focused on their score line they forgot what it was even about in the first place well that's my favorite thing is like i have people that are making fun of rich for doing not a lot of damage on a fight meanwhile they don't even play final fantasy they don't even play the game yeah they're not even they're playing final fantasy in general like they have nothing to do with this the actual damage dealt not the ranking not the efficiency score but the actual raw dps even if you compare all these parses of mine you will realize that the variance in actual dps percentage is so small it is barely even worth considering only the absolute worst runs where i died several times and played exceptionally poorly stick out this even ties into stuff like crit variants where even with old samurai it was hard to see when crit variants made any sort of meaningful difference on actual dps almost as if it wasn't a big deal even then when people do talk about actual dps these damage comparisons create ignorant slaves those who can only go to whatever job is meta and optimal they form a mass of nameless flesh that move around and collectively spread their filth over any job that they touch thanks to their impure motives they do not appreciate a job for the niche that it occupies in the gameplay that it has they only want to do big number this is why they end up complaining about stuff that they find annoying when the people who actually like the job can't relate and don't understand what also he's right about this because like a lot of things that happen is that people big numbers asthma yes no the thing is as i said before imagine having a dps warrior who gets the highest parses in the world and uh he has the best gear and he quits the raid and nobody complains about it think about that per think about what it's like to be around that person for everybody to be completely fine with that happening like it's it's pretty bad i mean let's be honest it's pretty fucking bad but like and and yes this is how i know and like i knew like people would be furious at me because i would wipe the rage sometimes because i told people we can wipe all night but i only have one chance a week to parse and i'm not going to ruin it just because i got bad rng and so yeah i wiped the raid that's the way it goes yeah yeah it's way closer and so again it's it's not that big of a deal yeah we can wipe all night like it's not a big deal and so so toxic what an asshole yes and so yeah they were happy whenever i left and so i know like the reason why i think this stuff is bad is because i know it better than almost anyone else that's why and also like there's another there's like other factors with like um your your group doing more or less damage so like for example whenever you kill a boss really fast sometimes it actually lowers your damage because of different like different mechanics in the fight that just caused that to happen there's like a longer add phase longer execute phase something like this so what also it happens what also it does is it makes it to where people want a fight to be a certain way because it encourages parsing rather than having a fight actually be like an immersive experience that goes in as dynamic and it changes because they don't care about that they just want to parse it's thanks to this formless sack of meat that you never want your job to be met so that they can leave it the fuck alone that way these unskilled floor lickers can go ruin something else instead oh woo hoo i need to weave kite in at this participation my opener and it takes up two buttons can't you make it easier so that i can play the best melee dps fuck you samurai is selfish and can't be one percent behind shut the fuck up all of this fruitless this happens also with wow too like wow it's really bad and like other games it is too is like really it's like classic wow had this issue and um it's like if you're playing if you have an extra druid or like a rep paladin or something like that in the raid it doesn't really matter like i've always been of the mindset if somebody like i i think always reward the people who do the best first because i think that's how you get people to do the best is by rewarding them first but other than that i mean fuck you've got to give people some degree of of variance because a lot of times you're still going to win either either way question so that they can finally realize that maybe the only thing that you should care about is if a job is viable not if it's optimal yeah because of course something will always have to be the best and something will always have to be the worst but if the difference between the best and the worst is next to nothing why does anybody fucking care that's what happens is like the difference is if they get too big then people get frustrated then people get mad because like you have one class that's like performing at like let's say 100 efficiency another one that's performing at 70. it's like okay well fuck this i don't want to play that that's awful the discussions are up there with some of the most vapid and useless content i can think of while it is not inherently banned a theory craft it indulges these slaves who don't realize that meta gaming is unfathomably unnecessary in order to be successful in this game ultimately making i actually don't agree with that i think that meta gaming is very important and it is always easier so like basically medi playing the game from like in order to go from like let's think about like a parsing perspective right if you are going from like 80 to 90 parse that's probably just you getting better at the game if you're going from 90 to 95 percent parse that's probably you getting a lot better at the game maybe taking a couple of risks 95 to 98 that's taking a good amount of risks and 98 to 100 is you taking a lot of risks and also getting lucky so like that's usually the way these things go not in final fantasy it matters in final fantasy 99 is party parsing party oh i'm not sure uh nope not in final fantasy how does this work how's it different in final fantasy that level of variance doesn't exist in final fantasy yeah crit rng is huge yeah i feel like yeah you've got to have that level of variance like people take risks and things like that sure yeah i don't know i mean whenever i get there it it'll matter more but you do have to met a game to a certain extent and you have to know how to maximize your damage because you have to beat certain enrage times you have to beat a cast timer right the boss is casting a big spell you have to kill him before he casts the spell so like you have to do meta gaming you have to do big damage sometimes but that shouldn't be the only focus of the game the raiders experience worse for no reason there are still some fart sniffers insisting that paladin isn't worth bringing this late into the tear thanks to the absolute ignorant paladin dark knight is number one that makes sense because it's the best yeah that actually that makes sense because it's the best class is it worth bringing this late into the tier thanks to the absolute sheer ignorance to the fact that there were paladins clearing week one before they got a dps and a self-sustained buff meaning that if you didn't clear week one it might be because you just fucking suck at the game but accepting that might make you feel bad and that's what i always tell people you are not wiping because of a lack of damage nine times out of ten it's not because you don't have a lot of damage it's because you suck at the mechanics you are doing them wrong and that's causing you to fail well you should consider joining me and accept your own shittiness even with all of this people can't understand the numbers even when they do look at them time to take a look at good old ff logs let's go to the statistics tab real quick you see this little scale down here you see how it doesn't start at the number zero this is done so that you can see the variance more clearly but if you don't have a basic understanding of how this will affect the shapes of these box diagrams you might think that ninja is contributing 25 more dps than dancer where if you scale it down the difference is less than 9 this is still stupid though because you're comparing different role types instead of comparing things within the roll type where that variance becomes painfully irrelevant but you'll look at this just so that you can complain about some job needing to do more damage no it doesn't i don't care if you think that it needs to if it does enough damage to clear the content then it's fine also i think balance is always important like you always have to be like changing things up and you can't always have it where like one class is always the best and like then people will just always want to play that class it's kind of like what happens with like a classic wow right everybody's playing a warrior burning crusade comes out look how many hunters and warlocks showed up like that's just the way the game goes that's the way people play the game it's like berserker yeah and they nerf berserker and lost ark like it just it i mean really it was it was a bad way to design a class to have the class be able to decide whether they want to give themselves a buff for the group above i mean come on who the fuck would want to give the group about fuck them uh it's like obviously you want to give yourself the buff so in my opinion that you have to keep balancing you have to change things up and yeah you should always keep doing this but as long as the differences aren't massive it's not that big of a deal open up your pathetic fucking act overlay this little window here does not factor in how much damage you contribute by accounting for raid buffs which is why people had this stupid fucking window open when playing 6.05 ninja and they would see that they didn't do that much damage and then complained that ninja was underpowered for months even though it was literally close to the top rdps in the entire metagame when you accounted for old trick attack it is thanks to these lobotomites that trick attack had to be changed all because they think raid buffs are useless this is not a phenomenon unique to final fantasy xiv or even unique to mmos it is a man i think that's what happens with uh that's why we don't have support classes uh also in wow i think it's like we don't have like in burning crusade we legitimately had support classes like rep paladins did not do as much damage as a hunter or a warlock that's just the facts and you know what else didn't neither did fury warriors nowadays i see some fury warriors popping off but usually that's like an aoe poll or some kind of bullshit right but like in general that's the case shadow priest you had shadow priests you had uh elemental shaman like these classes were not fucking these ridiculously powerful classes but they had incredibly useful buffs that helped the entire raid and because of that everybody brought them but now because everything's based off of like numbers that it's very hard to do that that's why ashes of creation i heard is actually not going to have a damage meter because they are going to have support classes and i i think that the truth is that if you have a damage meter it's very hard to factor in the damage that a support class adds to a raid so people just assume the support class is underperforming and that's all there is to it yeah that that's all there is to it and and so yeah if you have support classes it's going to be really hard to do that and i i don't know man like have support here or dps and tank no i i don't like that because it's too formulaic sometimes you want classes that can add in like one or two things or support or three or four things you want to have it exists on a spectrum you don't want to have everything be like oh this is only a healer this is only a dps like one thing that was cool with like protection paladins for example in many cases in the game is that they could also be healers right they could heal you off you you and stuff like that that was awesome i love that and like other classes like a shaman could do the same thing with like ancestral guidance it was really cool mentality that invades every single game what is the best character what is the best build what is the best role what is the somebody said that's pussy shit adds dps meter or people decide if they want to go too far with it i want to see a number associated with my dps yeah i think that makes sense like it does it makes sense whenever you don't take into account reality that makes perfect sense if you don't think about it at all it's like okay i'm not going to consider this i'm not going to think about like like how many times do you have to do it wrong before you think to yourself maybe doing it this way is wrong you see what i'm saying like it's just really like i mean it it it creates the same negative outcome every time best strategy i have seen people insist on playing a character that they don't like in a fighting game purely because they heard that character is the best only to get steamrolled by a considered bottom tier character from someone who actually knows how to play the game yup because it turns out that fundamentals are always more important than the character that you play because of fucking course it is it is a much better use of your time to play the job that you know how to play best which usually means you are going to put a lot of time into it which usually means it is the job that you have the most fun playing thankfully this is what the majority of the player base does they play the jobs that they find interesting but you know what usually happens these are the players who like their job they like the way that it plays and rarely would they be the ones to ask for anything that would change that play style meta slaves ruin everybody else's fun because they want to play the best job and everything that gets in their way is just a hindrance that prevents them from doing that thank you for everything that you ruined by insisting on this framework of number bullshit that only matters for speed kill groups and parse runs of which you are most certainly not a part of i didn't have a good place to slide in this point but usually this shit gets thrown in with the fact that people who take this game seriously are going to be more competitive and ultimately better players yeah would you rather have a toxic try hard or a turbo casual in your party trick question i don't want either of those players in my group get the fuck out of here this is a false argument of extremes that just doesn't exist the best that's a very good point yeah yeah you don't want to deal with either one of them that's a very very good fucking point yep players in this game are not the ones forcing bullshit strats onto randoms and getting heated at every single moment it's the people who know how to play the game well enough and are chilled out that's the kind of thing like the casual players are just as bad they're like oh man uh you know i just uh man i gotta go afk for like five minutes i gotta go no i don't wanna i don't wanna figure it out man like no it's like if you have to play with somebody like this it's so frustrating or they do it wrong constantly yeah you don't pay my sub or like whatever right it's just it's too fucking much man those are lame excuses yeah it's just fucking annoying man it really is my goldfish is drowning yeah you don't pay my sub that's a good one too i've got to go to work exactly you pull you tank pay my rent please i don't have time yeah it's just like if you want to join a group you have to at some degree understand what the fuck you're doing here that you want on your team last point i hate when higher rank parsers want to make their job easier you want to know why that's being attacked because it doesn't benefit you why would you ever want other people to be able to easily get the stupid useless numbers that you do that's right this mentality comes from higher rank parsers not actual top-ranked parsers top-ranked players are usually the ones who care the least about making a job easier and simultaneously cared the least about the metagame it's always the people who think they are better than they are who have to decide to bring it upon themselves to lower the bar all so that they have a better shot at getting a better number on a website that isn't officially recognized for a group of people who are never going to acknowledge the work that you put into the game anyways because all they do is explain away others success you will never win over people if you play this game well because it's all about putting people down that should be enough for this one i feel like also most people don't really care a lot because it's like there's not really that much of a culture of that in final fantasy like yeah i don't yeah i don't really think there's that much of a culture of it and wow it's much more of a culture in this game it's really not what's parsing good for to see if you're doing adequate damage to meet the dps checks and hard content or check to see what went wrong in a wipe if it was not obvious otherwise it's good to extend the lifetime of content if you find like-minded people who want to optimize beyond what is required which is still cool to look at and that's it now let's get out there and i think it's also like one of the main things and this is kind of what i say with everything right we're going to watch the genshim video today yeah yeah we will um and like isn't this the demand for composition i think that what this what this really comes down to is playing with people that are like-minded and if you want to join a parser group and everybody is parsing and everybody's popping off and people are doing that kind of stuff then that's great but if you are trying to parse and everybody else is just getting fucking annoyed by it then you are wrong and also if you join a parsing group because you want to free easy clear and then you're not putting in 110 like everybody else is there then you are the one who's wrong so i think the big issue is people that come into a group and then expect that group to play around what their preconceived expectations of the game is i don't think parsing is fundamentally fucking bad but whenever somebody puts the group at risk because of parsing that is bad how do i know that because i've done it myself a hundred fucking times i've done it more than probably anybody else and at least i did back then and so i know this because i did it constantly except parsers don't want to play with each other because no they do want to play with each other as far as i know i think parsers do want to play with each other because the faster you kill a boss in a lot of cases in most cases that will result in a higher damage like i i yeah it depends on kill times like there are some kill times that you have because of like cooldowns lining up you will want to kill the boss slower but most of the time faster boss kills equals more damage so yeah that's how i see it it's like join a group with equal-minded people or sorry like-minded people it's the same thing i said with classic wow and getting world buffs right you have some groups that want to get full world buffs other groups that don't and uh i think that's totally fucking fine you know that that's totally fucking fine if you want to do that but don't join a group that tries to get warchief's blessing as alliance and then get your feelings hurt whenever they don't want to give you loot because you're not doing it you see what i'm saying like that that's that's how i see it yeah it's just it's too much man it really is watch donkey's new overwatch 2 video um yeah sure i'll watch that i'll watch the uh the riot mmo video too because i said i was going to do that yeah yeah we'll watch this one it's a seven minute video this is a video again it's by uh misshapen chair we've seen a number of his videos so far i think they're actually quite funny and again what i like about them is that usually he's bringing in a viewpoint or a perspective that is generally disagreed with or he's being something he's being a bit of an asshole but what he's saying is right and being an asshole but still being right is something that i i hold very near and dear to my heart so i'll be right back i'm gonna take a piss and then we'll watch this okay give me one second cause i'm curious to see what the ride mmo is gonna be [Music] you

Channel: Aѕmongold TV

Views: 265,390

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, world of warcraft, asmongold funny, asmongold tv, asmongold channel, ZackRawrr

Id: u1fHO9Op9vo

Length: 33min 26sec (2006 seconds)

Published: Sun May 01 2022