Fentanyl Addicted Couple-Celeste and Sebastian

all right celeste and sebastian celeste sebastian where did you guys grow up where you from originally celeste originally i'm from kansas but i grew up in nashville tennessee i moved to nashville when i was like four and so i grew up most of my childhood in nashville and sebastian uh i was born in san bernardino county and uh i was raised in east l.a yeah so spent most money you guys so unless you came to la at what point um this time around i came in uh september of last year but it's not my first time living in la uh i've spent like time in and out of la and with your family other places huh with your family or on your own no on my own on your own yeah what was your childhood life with your family um when i was when i was a child i was adopted at nine months old my birth mother did drugs and she got me taken away um and then i was adopted from within my family my dad who adopted me is actually my great uncle so uh i basically grew up knowing my parents as my parents and not as my adopted parents but um it was it wasn't bad but it was definitely a rocky uh my uh parents struggle with especially my mom has struggled with drug use like both my birth mother and my adoptive mother um and is like uh part of the reason that i spiraled into kind of an opioid addiction because she did opioids and kind of like when i was really young she let me try one because i had to pain and so that kind of like sent me down that road and me and my mother just had a like really rocky relationship she would just say some nasty like mean things to me but i you know realize that it's just like from her own unresolved trauma because my parents are both in their late 60s so they grew up like way different than i did you know and um they both have their own you know traumas but for the most part like my my family was like together they just recently actually got divorced like this year which is kind of crazy but uh yeah it was definitely a lot of like emotional abuse and like my parents fighting like all the time and um i was an only child too an adopted only child so i was always like alone so i kind of took the brunt of it you know and uh i i didn't really get to express my emotions much you know what kind of kid were you in high school uh in high school uh in high school i was like uh such a weirdo like i i've always kind of been um yeah an outcast i've always kind of been an outcast uh like the first two years of my high school experience i was definitely like kind of like a loner and uh you know didn't really like talk to many people but once i got into my like junior year i started like getting involved more in school i was like i was in like the ag program and i did like um youth in government and i was in a play and i did um bnn which is like when you uh like do the school news and stuff and i used to be an anchor for my school news so it went from me like kind of being like an outcast to like being accepted because i guess like weird kind of became cool and i ended up my senior year winning superl the superlative for like most unique but i never really like had friends like i was always alone and like uh didn't really like talk to people like that i just kind of was like known you know for being that weird girl and drugs started for you at what point so drugs started for me at like i hate to say it but like 12 like yeah um like you know i i've had chronic pain my whole life like my mom didn't give me you know her drugs because she wanted to get me high you know like i had chronic pain since i was young and i was in and out of the doctors having like this crazy stomach pain having crazy like you know joint aches and stuff like so much to the point where like one year when i was in elementary school my mom had to go to truancy court because i wouldn't show up to school so much and so because of all that pain my mom when i was like 12 gave me like a pill and i remember the first time she gave it to me because i was watching mythbusters and i thought that the reason i felt good was mythbusters so i was like watching that for a while and then i realized like after a few times like oh like the the pill is what make is making me feel good and so i would like in his opiates you know so i would like i would start you know stealing her pills and stuff and then like eventually like i got into marijuana and like i started smoking marijuana like 13 12 13 too and so i would like smoke that and you know my dad was kind of unaware you know but my mom i like knew i was smoking weed and she knew like she would give me like pills now and then she didn't know i was stealing them and like taking them they were very unaware that i was stealing them but um yeah uh i then like later in in high school i started doing [Music] like um nothing crazy uh i don't i didn't i think i did like acid like once when i was like 17 but like i didn't really start like heavy drug use until i was older but from the ages of 12 to 15 i was i would say like addicted to opioids like i would take them to school and take them at school and i would like uh just like like it like they would bother me when i didn't have them all the time and and it was just like such an issue because it was like it was right there in my house you know what i mean and my parents didn't know so i would just like you know grab them and then eventually you know you meet people that you know take their parents drugs and then you buy them off of them and uh so yeah like opiates were like a big big problem for me when i was that age and then when i was like 14 i uh like i overdosed in my bathroom and like woke up like like basically like i'm like almost dead i don't i don't know how i woke up because i like hit the toilet and like and i was like 14 and i like i kind of like uh no i was like i was 15. and i like woke myself up and i was like okay i need to like quit this but you know it's been an on and off like journey with opiates because of that you know and because of like my past of my birth mother also like using sure in my biology or my adoptive sounds like you were destined to do it almost and sebastian tell me tell me your story you had both your parents uh no actually i grew up so i grew i grew up without a father my mom was so alone i'm so sorry so my mom raised me as a single mother and i grew up and [Music] i grew up in a household that was super abusive mentally and physically and it just it was hard growing up uh i don't know i didn't have much freedom i couldn't go outside and play with like the other kids and stuff and she abused drugs she would use meth around me and uh just you know smoke weed around me and like leave me alone and stuff like leave me by myself in the house and stuff and um yeah i mean i don't know it almost feels like i was destined to use drugs too because i started using at a young age i first smoked weed when i was 12 and then yeah after that i started using cocaine when i was like 13 and it was like avidly i like i used it like a lot you know and um i have adhd and i just i don't know i i self-medicated a lot because i uh felt like it helped me in a way but obviously it didn't really um yeah and i had trouble in school i was always like the troubled kid you know and i was just really misunderstood because you know i i don't know i just what didn't really have a good home or any support uh you know for my family and i'd get in trouble with the law a lot and um i don't know just you know would bring the cops to my front door a lot and uh what was it um yeah oh yeah um yeah my so my mom got married to this guy and uh they had nine nine kids together and um yeah he was like super abusive with them and uh you know he he would leave them alone and stuff you know just a lot of like child neglect and stuff and then my mom actually went to jail what was it uh like late 2021 and um she lost like uh all my siblings and they all went to foster care but he actually uh their father just got custody of them like uh it was like last year and uh i visit them every now and then but i don't really talk to them um oh yeah and then um sorry thank you when i was like 16 i uh my he was super abusive towards my mom and uh one day like he like hit her and like like he like punched her and gave her a black eye and he was trying to like you know uh hit me too and so i don't know i just got tired of that and you know i was like uh older and i had like more power in my hands and so he was an alcoholic and so i reached for like his gray goose vodka bottle and like i smashed it against the table just because i've seen that in movies and i thought that was like kind of cool you know and um i i like slashed him on the side of his uh like i don't know lung or something yeah like it's blowing right there um yeah and he just had like this really big gash and it was like i don't know i was kind of dumb i did it in the front yard and uh this like lady uh it was like a nice quiet like neighborhood you know so this like jogger passed by and she was like i guess she called the cops and she saw that and my mom called the cops and so did uh you know yeah so then they came and um i don't know i went to juvie for like six months and that was horrible it sucked and then uh after that i was on house rest for two months and uh this all happened while i was like a senior in high school and uh yeah and then i wasn't i wasn't supposed to graduate either but then uh i got most of my credits while i was in there and then uh what was it when i when i so like the last day when everyone's graduating uh my principal knocks on my door and i'm here i'm thinking like i'm not supposed to graduate and uh he was like uh he was like hop in my truck let's go i guess they're like a miscalculation of credits and um i don't know i ended up graduating yeah and that was that was that was fun i guess it was cool and uh graduate yeah i got to graduate and um yeah i don't know where my high school diplomas actually should find that somewhere but yeah because i don't know for a while yeah yeah we'll get to that but um yeah and then after that uh my mom kicked me out she she kicked me out like two days after i graduated and um he was still 17. yeah i was still 17 and i was like three two months away from being 18. uh and i don't know i just i didn't want to be there anyways because like i said i grew up she was super abusive and you know just like in every way like very and she would put me down and physically abuse me i remember like growing up i was like uh what was i was like 11 when she put my hand on the stove and would make my sister watch and you know she i remember just like going through a lot of just like really psychotic abuse you know like she would beat me with extension cords and starve me and uh just like horrible stuff that you know like i don't know my my younger sister got most of it she got i think the words like mule mutilated or something a lot you know he she would like tie her uh tie her up and leave her in the bathroom and then like piss on her and stuff and it was really bad it was horrible um and i i had to witness some of that but i was young at the time i didn't really know what to do i didn't think it was okay but same time i didn't know like what to think of it you know um like now that i'm older i know that it was like you know that was not okay but um yeah going back so you know when she kicked me out i you know like i was 17 i wanted to go back home to my room you know and just you know lock myself in there but i was kind of like no it's kind of like a new opportunity fresh start for me to like figure things out on my own and so when my friends had landed in seattle i really like i like i'm an artist i work on music a lot and you know i like making clothes and stuff and just reworking lots of stuff and so one of my friends uh he flew in from seattle and he was like hey like i'm in the studio do you you know want to come over you know i saw your post about you not having nowhere to go tonight so that night i slept in the studio and like pumped out a whole mixtape that was a really good summer uh what was that summer that was summers 8 17 going into 18 or no that was i think that was like summer 18 but yeah um and just since then i've just been like uh you know staying with lots of random stuff are you just like staying on the street sometimes yeah yeah i i yeah just recently i think he had more like luck when not to interrupt you yeah go ahead when he was like on his own like a little bit younger like 18 and 19 you know like 20. yeah but we since we've been together we've like definitely like slept outside like a good few times you guys have been together how long seven months seven months how did you guys meet the internet and it's crazy too because i was here last year uh in summer of last year and i was homeless and he was homeless and we ended up like going to the same shows and like like being around each other in the same scene and how old are you guys uh i'm 23. i'm 21. 21. yeah yeah and so uh we just missed each other but we followed each other on instagram and it's kind of crazy it's one of those things where i would look at his profile and i'd always be like this guy's so mysterious i want to like talk to him and and he did the same thing like and and then one day i moved here like when i first moved here in september i had a friend let me move in with her and kind of like she told me you know like hey like i'll help you out come come move in which she didn't really help i mean she helped me out but she ended up screwing me over in the end but um yeah i'm i'm i was like about to go hang out with someone else and he just uh texted me like he just i think i replied to your story on instagram and he literally just had come over like nothing else no conversation he just said come over and i was just like okay and so like i even like missed a video shoot to go over because i was just like i was so like same music oh that was the next day yeah no no yeah yeah and i went over there and we we hung out for a little while and we like we talked on the the balcony um for a long time about kind of drug use and like bonding over you guys using the same drug yeah well not at that point but um we both had like problems with with opiates and stuff and uh the the next day or the day after something like that i went back over there that's when i missed the video shoot to go hang on with him and literally like the second day uh he kind of like uh you know vented to me about how he he used can i can about how he used fentanyl and um and like ended up like you know using in front of me and i it was kind of like i thought it was like a cry for help because you're smoking so much that he was like nodding out in front of me yeah and um and we ended up i just felt like you understood me i felt comfortable yeah it was it was one of those like moments where it was just like you know like you you meet someone and they just like understand you like more than anyone else and yeah we ended up like we ended up kissing and like we ended up saying i love you that night like it was it was like really really fast and uh we kind of just like took it like but the next week we we like we were hanging out in hollywood and we didn't want to stop because my roommate was didn't like him for like past reasons and so we couldn't hang out at my place and he was living in a shelter at this point and so we went to venice and we slept on the beach and then we hung out in venice and then the next day we went to santa monica or we went to santa monica at night and then we slept in santa monica and we woke up and we like rode the ferris wheel and this is this at this point i was using a lot of ketamine and so i was like i was like high on ketamine like riding this ferris wheel and and we were just like we have like pictures of us in like the ferris wheel it was like one of those most like magical days of my life honestly so you guys are using the same drug now yeah um like uh so at first when he was using like fentanyl he was like no don't use it like he he he really like i really put my foot down i really did not want her to use it um and you know i i just i couldn't hide it from her you know like i would i have to i've been using since like 2017 i've been using for a while now like for four years and so uh you know i just i get sick i go through withdrawals if i don't like use within like the next like seven six hours and so there's no way of hiding it you know like one time i was late to at like for a date for us to meet up just because i had to use you know before meeting up with her you know and you know it just got to the point to where it was like uh you know just i you know you have to know that i do this and you know i might use it a friend of you you know and i just don't want you know you just i know yeah he tried to lie to me about it the first day he tried to like he tried to like tell me it was like wax or something but i was like i'm saying there's wax but yeah and and he would smoke around me and at first i was like i didn't i didn't want to you know use it i wanted to like help him get clean and stuff but like you know coming from the mind of like a past opiate drug addict you know and i mean myself like i was like i was like oh let me like blow the smoke into my mouth and like i didn't like for the first like october was when we met and for the first month in october i would just smoke occasionally and then in november i would smoke occasionally because i remember points in november where i could go days without hanging out with you but it was really when my friend kicked me out um for basically dating him it was pure like it was awful like she she she made this promise to me that she was going to help me out and that i didn't have to pay rent like for the first few months and i did i basically paid a thousand dollars just to sleep on her couch for two months and i wasn't even there half the time because i wanted to be with him and he couldn't come over and you know and i mean she just had this vendetta against him because like you know past drama and like knowing him through someone else and like you know judging him because he's you know a drug addict and when she kicked me out i was like i didn't like have anywhere to go because like my parents back home are like divorced now and they're selling the house and like uh don't really you know it's a very toxic environment like you know what i mean like at home with my with my parents like uh just like awful like i i should tell the story about how when i went to the psych where it is i want to talk about my drug use no you go ahead yeah i just uh i wanted to pinpoint i started using uh opiates uh like a lot like every day back like in 20 i started using uh like early 2019 and it was just like oxy like oxycontin and like uh you know what is it vicodins and stuff like that and then um there is like these uh blue pills they're called like m30s or like fake uh what it looks like fake percocet would you call it yeah and and they're pressed with and all and i knew this you know and i i i knew what i was like getting high off you know and i just didn't want to say it was phenomenal it was cool to say like oh it's a percocet like it's not you know it's like kind of taboo to say it's fit and all you know and um yeah and then like one day and i was using the blue pills for like a year straight and then one day my uh like my drug dealer i get them off she was like oh i don't have any i didn't get the shipment of them but i do have like the key like chemical that's like in them and that's fed and all that's what you're getting high off and so i was i was like okay and she's like you should you know if you want to uh you know get high you try this if you want to get well and i was like okay and so you know i tried i was like super like young and naive i was like you know 19 and i was just like looking for you know and it's you know some relief and stuff and so she invites me upstairs to her apartment and i try it and then i was like damn this feels good this feels like 10 times stronger than what i normally use which is that blue pill that i was talking about and uh you know at first i didn't know how addictive it was i've i've heard of it before i've had friends die from it but i do i still yeah and then so so still the same night i'm like hitting it and i don't know you know what i'm dosing myself with and then like all i remember was waking up with her naked i'm naked she's on top of me you know and then like on the dresser there's like a bunch of narcans and you know when she's on top of me but she's like sleeping and then i'm like i wake her up and i'm like what just happened and she's like well you died last night you overdosed and i was like what really because everything after me hitting the foil i like blacked out you know she like completely took advantage of yeah i guess like you know we had sex but like i don't even remember it that's not sex that's not consensual you know what i mean he was completely sexually assaulted so when someone narcans you you like uh you whiff you go into like a withdrawal state you know and you start sweating and you feel like sick and vomiting it's horrible especially so yeah so like when you wake up from that show i when i woke up i was i was like uh like feeling sick and i was this was like my second day in and i was like uh you know how do i make myself feel better and she was like oh you uh you gotta like keep using to feel better and so then that's when i got hooked you know she you know gave me some more phenomenal and i felt better and then from then on i just i kept using and using and using and yeah i just i i don't know i've stopped at periods of times like the longest i've been clean for was six months uh that was sometime last year but then i picked it back up again um i don't know i just i i keep running back to it um i went to treatment like last month was it yeah we we both went to like treatment and um but like i i relapsed and i kind of like ended up like making him relapse which like i i feel really guilty about but like and it was crazy because if they hadn't given me suboxone i would have been fine but they had given me suboxone and the suboxone that i was withdrawing from was worth in the fentanyl withdrawals um and i i i thought it was fine i like leave because i was at this place and i was having seizures and they didn't even think i was having see it was just not a good facility overall and like one of the main reasons i left and this is like really [ __ ] hard to talk about but um the reason i like went in was because i was pregnant and i i found out that i was pregnant and we we wanted to like keep the baby and we wanted to like go through with that because we were already like working on housing and we were like well if i'm pregnant we can get housing like that you know what i mean and i have you know good job experience and stuff i used to work at amazon making like 50 000 a year so like i i was like we can do this and um i went to this facility and i and i told them that i was pregnant and they ended up giving me medication i wasn't supposed to have you're not supposed to take suboxone when you're pregnant and um i ended up miscarrying in there and um i like where it was used to take you to the hospital that night yeah and i and i mentioned it to them too that i was bleeding out and they didn't even like take me it was it was like a whole thing and uh so yeah we miscarried and i remember like calling him at the hospital because i had a seizure like a few days later they didn't let us have phone calls at all so i was stuck in there with like going crazy and i called him at the hospital and i told him like i i'm pretty sure i lost the baby and like i can't even tell you like how he cried like he wailed and at the hospital like i confirmed you know i like ask them like can you you know figure out if i'm you know still pregnant and they were like no you're not and so like that was like really hard and like once i found that out like i left you know what i mean to be back with him and i really wanted to stay clean but i was like so weak and stuff and and i wasn't feeling good and i got suboxone off the street and i wasn't helping and so i i ended up getting smoking fentanyl and it you know and i mean it just like it's a cycle and we've been wanting to we keep wanting to go to treatment but we're like working on this housing and so we don't want to be in treatment and like and how this housing and like it's just like a few weeks ago it's like oh it's gonna be this week and then last week we thought we're gonna move it on wednesday and then they were like oh there's like hiccups in the paperwork but we're supposed to be getting it this monday like for sure like you know uh waiting for la housing authority to send over the leasing of the lease papers and so we're excited about that is it difficult to be in a romantic relationship living this lifestyle of course yes of course sorry um when when like at first like when i was like really just starting to get addicted in december we decided like to to go to nashville tennessee where my parents lived for christmas and um go to my house and we thought that we could just withdraw there without them noticing dumb and of course like they noticed and so like we withdraw we went through there but like we we literally couldn't take it like we were searching on the internet for like fentanyl because it's really dangerous to withdraw from fentanyl on your own because it could get like seizures and you could die and so we were looking for that and then we ended up finding somebody with oh sorry to touch somebody we ended up finding somebody with m30s and then we like smoked those so we said bluegill i was talking about really and uh so we came back here and you know like we ended up like using obviously and uh it was crazy because uh it was right before christmas we we go back there and we were gonna spend christmas with my family and of course like the the day after we get there his housing manager calls and says you have to be here right now to sign some paperwork and you're going to get your housing so we're thinking we're going to go back there on only wait like a couple weeks maybe a month at most to get the housing and it's been since that end of december like there's so many times where we wish we would have just stayed in asheville and got like jobs and stuff because he made it sound like oh you need to be here in person like honestly you probably could assign that paperwork like forever later like an estimate of like two weeks the most a month you know and i was just like okay let's let's do this you know we hopped on a plane you know landed in lax and then you know we've been waiting like what like six months since and it was it was crazy too because uh on like we ended up spending christmas out here because we didn't like we came here like on the 21st or 22nd of december when we got back from my parents house and on christmas we used to sneak into this like apartment building that we had a friend that lived in there and there is like this little like couch in like a main area and we would kind of sleep there sometimes and we slept there uh christmas night or you know uh the night before christmas and the morning like i wake up and uh we're smoking and i remember like he was like giving me like little hits and i was like let me get a bigger hit you know what i mean because like i i was just you know i wanted me to dose her more than usual you know yeah and and i i i died like i was out for and that wasn't the first time i overdosed but this was like one of the worst because he said yeah i have a bracelet that says thanks for saving my life he's saved my life like five six times now what's the hardest part of this lifestyle what's that what's the most like that like like i that day when i overdosed on christmas he like narcan to me what three times and was popping my chest and most people would listen to this and say i gotta quit this lifestyle that's just not an option right yeah i know yeah like the like he was pumping my chest and and giving me narcan and and what woke me up like he said like he cried and like a tear landed on my face and that woke me up but i was praying too i mean i'm very spiritual believe in god stuff and the hardest honestly like the the thing is it's like we do really want to get clean like we we we've like tried multiple times and i i think it's just like the fact that like like we had like i i know that if i had you know not lost the baby we would have stayed clean like i have full confidence and faith in that but that's honestly why i relapsed because you know i was really excited and you know i you know really just went cold cherokee and like you know admitted myself into a treatment but then uh you know when she gave me that phone call you know i kind of you know all of all i've ever known was you know coping the pain with you know opiates and so i kind of just like ran back to that because i was like i don't know how to deal with this you know my you know my girlfriend's a treatment you know she just lost a baby uh you know um on the streets like i don't know you know what to do you know and and you know to relieve the stress you know i just you know went back to using it's kind of hard when that's all you know you know like when you when you've done drugs for so long especially for like i know that you've like been around drugs but for me like opiates and like specifically have been a part of my life for over 10 years now so it's like so hard now that i'm on a drug that's like literally so physically addictive and as an opiate because when i was younger you know i was able to like you know stop myself when i started getting too bad and i was spending too much money and stuff and like but this time it's like you know yeah you might die and you like wake up from being narcan and you're in like the worst pain of your life i remember when i was in that room when he when i woke up and on christmas i was like i was in the most pain i've ever felt in my life probably old sweats fun it was it was awful but you know what i mean like we we genuinely want to like stop it's like but you have to we have to you know you have to take genuine time out of your life it's not just like you know what i mean go through the withdrawals for a few days it's like you know what i mean you have to find a time so you know go into a treatment and like make sure it's the right treatment because when i went into that treatment and all that happened to me it's like now i'm like more you know because i was doing straight crazy you know what i mean the first time that we we started to detox by ourselves i know we ended up like you know smoking the m30 when we were back in nashville but we spent two days doing it and because we had each other and we you know had our phones to distract ourselves we were able to but in that and that and that place that i was in i wasn't able to have anything to distract me and i was like just just going crazy you know and it's it's really just that like we were waiting on our housing because we really want to like kind of do it on our own and like get go like we have a plan to go to this place for the first four days take care of like the initial like withdrawals and it's a place where we can have our phones and we can have like you know nicotine with us and we can have like see each other you know what i mean so we have those like coping mechanisms um the first five days are the worst so yeah and then and then for the rest of the time we're just gonna like you know go home and we we you know we've talked about you know therapy and and you know and i mean going into like meetings and stuff like that and it's just like you know it's crazy because it's just you get so caught up and so distracted in life because it's like oh you have to do this and then you have to worry about this and that and you know what i mean and sometimes just trying to take the showers like a full a half a day task you know trying to find some shower but i think for the most part you know it's just comfortability it's like what you know you know it's just like trying to break that cycle of of like pain and like just trying to cope with like you know substances and like because for me i i've always used drugs like since i started using drugs can you imagine a life where you weren't using drugs i mean i mean i can imagine it of course you know like i i was like an amazing like even even though i didn't like ex like try hard i still excelled in school i had like a 4.0 i you know what i mean did amazing on on my writing assessment while you're a drug addict uh yeah i mean at that point you know i i was you know functioning like i was on i was only doing you know marijuana and like you know other stuff you know but yeah throughout my whole high school i ended up you know excelling and you know i mean i even got scholarships and i didn't because i had i think and i don't want to blame it on my parents because i'm still my own person but i was never like you know pushed you know like i they never i i didn't know what i wanted to do and i was never steered in a direction and i was scared because i grew up poor and i didn't want to like be in college debt because you know like even the scholarships like what if they don't cover everything i know they'll cover certain things and like what if i don't want to do that and i end up spending all that time and it's just like all those things where i was like too afraid to do that and i wanted to travel and so like i ended up you know moving to miami and like moving into new york and like moving to riverside california and like i've spent times where i've made you know crazy amounts of money and i've been you know successful and um like like just like last year i was an assistant manager like working at amazon and like had was fixing conveyor belts and you know doing a lot of like i'm like amazing like work and i i was making really good money and even at that point i was using drugs like i was using ketamine like i remember there was even one time where i went to work and i was using and i ended up performing somehow i ended up performing the best out of everyone in the building that day and i don't know how it was it was hilarious i like saw my name on the board and it was like it was like uh number one person who was uh stealing the best celeste and i was like are you kidding me i'm i'm literally i don't remember i was on ketamine so it's like you know what i mean like it's just kind of like when you grow up doing drugs you learn how to be like a functioning drug addict and that's where it's like really dangerous because it's like it's like if you can you know function while doing it you don't you don't really see like all this stuff until you start you know getting deep into it like when you get into a drug like fentanyl and then you you see yourself overdose and you know and i mean you like recognize that like now i could you know have brain damage and yeah you know like it's it's hard you know and i mean and it's like i think like i don't know if i would still be here if i didn't start using like with someone like you know what i mean as much as like you know what i mean like meeting him is what like in a sense led me into that i feel like the mental state i was in like i i would have been led down that path regardless and i'm just glad that i like got to experience it with someone who cares about me and like could save my life and stuff because i remember last year like i went to the psych ward and i had a whole psychosis and stuff and i and i remember thinking about trying to use heroin and stuff and i'm just like you know i think you know everything happens for a reason and like this is like a lesson and it's not going to be our whole lives you know we we really don't want to keep using we don't want to keep doing this we don't want to be in this because it's not fun all right celeste and sebastian thank you so much for sharing your stories thank you i wish you guys the best of luck thank you you

Channel: Soft White Underbelly

Views: 786,432

Keywords: soft white underbelly, swu

Id: qt88Cjq04D0

Length: 39min 39sec (2379 seconds)

Published: Thu May 19 2022