Fallout 4 is great and I'm tired of pretending it's not

Fallout 4 is a game in which you must experience the daily struggles of living in Boston such as an acute housing shortage inclement weather and the New England Patriots developed by Bethesda game studios hot off the heels of the success of Fallout 3 7 years earlier boy I sure hope we don't have to wait 7 years for Fallout 5 Fallout 4 boasts many gameplay Innovations such as tolerable Graphics post-apocalyptic Minecraft and a dedicated sarcasm button but wait there's more the map is bigger the guns are bigger the hats are bigger even the plot is bigger because Bethesda couldn't choose between rehashing the plot of Fallout 3 or rehashing the plot of New Vegas you'll rehash both at once as you Brave the harsh wastling of taxachusetts on a rescue mission /qu for vengeance while you're reenacting the plots of Taken and John Wick simultaneously you'll meet several factions Each of which will employ you as a Hitman and/or exterminator and it's up to you to decide who will reclaim and rebuild all these Dunkin Donuts for themselves but no matter who you choose the physical task of rebuilding will fall exclusively to you and you alone by yourself because radiation has melted everyone's brains to the point they've forgotten how to Plum a wall mix cement or hammer a nail you must operate a full service design building Construction Company meaning you can design and build your own Wasteland settlements Until you realize that they're functionally useless and store all of your unused companions at your gas station bachelor pad speaking of ancient decrepit infrastructure Fallout 4 pushes bethesda's creation engine to its limit by finally inventing the reverse shot that's right no longer are all conversations conducted while NPCs wait for you to take their mug shot but that's not the only Improvement because now you can actually run the game without having to install 14 stability mods of course the game speed is still tied to the frame rate which was fine when I was running this on my old crap boox 1000 but when I upgraded my PC because Todd told me I had to the character models move faster than the voice lines they're delivering meaning the last syllable of each line gets cut off like the final episode of The Sopranos but despite all that before we go any further I want to clarify one point I am a Fallout 4 apologist and I will not apologize this is my favorite Fallout game maybe even my favorite game of all time it's definitely better than those first two games and before any of you so-called Fallout fans start composing death threats in the comments because you don't understand the concept of irony all I can say is you're just not as much of a fan as I am and I can prove it mathematically besides you're not here for my smooth brain t you're here for the Taco Bell sound effect but if you think I'm going to take this game to task with my usual low brow comedy and ripped green screen edits you're [ __ ] right however just know that any criticism I make any nitpicks I take any fists I shake all come from a place of genuine love and affection the kind of love and affection you have for like a 15-year-old incontinent dog so strap on those Pit Boys scrap those pipe pistols and rev up those friers as we park the car at Harvard Yard in Fallout 4 welcome to Boston where every day God flips a coin to decide what season it's going to be heads for summer tales for winter and on its side for nuclear winter we play as Johnny Fallout war criminal and international bad boy or his wife a lawyer who I can only assume he met at his trial together we have an animatronic doll we're pretending is a human child for tax purposes but now we must face the ultimate consequences of runaway consumer capitalism good morning vault tech calling I don't care who the IRS sends I am not paying taxes no sir I'm here to tell you that the dildo of consequence rarely comes lop and I'm here to sell you protection if you're the condom salesman you're 9 months too late ha no sir I'm here to sell you and your family protection from the consequences of runaway consumer capitalism sounds ironic no sir you and your family will have a spot in Vault 111 speaking of which you should probably head over we're expecting a second sunrise in a few minutes huh that's strange it's awfully orange out today we make our way to Vault 111 where the elevators are designed to maximize drama at the expense of my retin don't worry about a thing we're really chill here you're in for a cool experience hopefully you don't feel like we're giving you the cold shoulder heat your junk up Samurai [ __ ] balls it's cold H you're still flying just let her hold the kid okay I'm not victim blaming but what did you think was going to happen go the [ __ ] back to sleep Samurai okay now wake the [ __ ] up Samurai after getting Frozen and sent to the Future like Squidward testicles we make our way out of the tutorial hole as the Soul Survivor not just of the freezer aisle but of the entire United States but if we're accepting the 44 caliber Call to Adventure we'll need to gather supplies and hope some of these 200-year-old guns still work now that we've been turned loose on the Commonwealth we get to discover and explore many interesting and unique places starting with our own house welcome to Sanctuary Hills where our pre-fabricated house with no Vapor Barrier has managed to survive a nuclear shock wave in 200 years of acid rain possibly because it's still being taken care of by your indentured robot servant cogsworth who isn't a slave because I used a different word cogsworth have you been cleaning this town for 200 years yes sir I have well then why does it still look like [ __ ] get back to work if I'm to clean house I'll need you to pick up some bleach from the hardware store in Concord try not to drink it on the way back on our way to find some bleach to drink we meet a pure bread German Shepherd for some reason what's the matter boy you say little Timmy's in trouble what's this about an island welcome to Concord the birthplace of the American Revolution and also grape jelly and in that same revolutionary Spirit the Museum of freedom is under siege from some patriots exercising their second amendment rights by attempting to shoot up the building but this guy's dressed like a [ __ ] dork so he must be an important character hey you grab that laser musket and come help me this looks worse than the [ __ ] that got Shinzo a using a Futurama joke we crank our way through the Raiders just call me Christmas with the cranks I don't know who you are but your timing is impeccable why are you guys hiding in the Attic of a museum on the American Revolution is this supposed to be a metaphor my name is Preston Garvey I'm here to bring back those good oldfashioned values on which we used to rely you see I'm a minute man guy he can't bring back the past tip [ __ ] of course you can history is cyclical don't you remember that war never changes bit from the intro that's not meant to be a good thing aren't you a war criminal no I'm just a man who enjoys a good execution a week ago there were 20 of us yesterday there were 10 now there's only five of us left hm sounds like a skill issue after facilitating the second Boston Massac Preston makes us an offer who sure could use someone like you doing all our Renovations for for us I'll mark it on your map nah kid [ __ ] settlement building it [ __ ] sucks dick get your ass to Diamond City why should I do that I'm going to be real with you for a sec kid I'm high as [ __ ] right now now you must single-handedly rebuild your old subdivision if you want to move the minen quest line forward that means you must act as a carpenter electrician and defense contractor however due to strict HOA guidelines any and all new construction must match the existing neighborhood character which in this case happens to be a radiated Rubble hey guys big beak the Builder here and on today's episode of this old shack we'll be hanging some lights a door and myself normally I like settlement building but it's frustrating when I'm trying to keep my upload schedule to a tight 3 months and have to spend several dozen hours playing Bob the Builder in the corner of the map and we don't exactly have time to horse around so let's make like George Bush and put nation building aside in favor of some more Mindless Imperial violence and if there's one group that can help me with that it's the Brotherhood of Steel welcome to the town of Cambridge instead of being populated by nepo babies trying to trick Taurus into rubbing the piss statue we find a military Patrol from the Brotherhood of Steel about to be overrun by a vicious pack of 12 radiation victims thanks for helping us out that was a real close call oh yeah man that was a real close call not like you're in a giant steel exoskeleton or something oh my God just take the damn compliment here we meet Brotherhood palet and dance the power armor stays on during sex we help him raate a lab so he can phone home hopefully nothing consequential will happen because of this during this Mission we're forced to confront sense from a shadowy organization called The Institute and by confront I mean [ __ ] incinerate you showed Real Steel balls today especially how you were willing to sacrifice me to kill your enemies so I'd like to invite you to join the Brotherhood of Steel what's the Brotherhood of Steel three [ __ ] guys who can't hold one building [ __ ] off I wouldn't join you if you rode into town on a giant blimp I'll put you down as a maybe speaking of political dissidence as we approach Diamond City we find a woman demanding to speak with McDonald's manager mayor MC chees what kind of [ __ ] McDonald's has a message Piper I've headed up to here with your tabloid gossip how dare you publish that I'm secretly a synth infiltrator because you're a synth fat that's a nice argument Piper why don't you back it up with a source my source is that I made it the [ __ ] up Piper for the last time there's no such thing as The Institute and there's no such thing as since I'm trying to find my son oh well then you want the Sy detective that lives just off Main Street I'm going to become the jonker welcome to Diamond City the largest city in the Commonwealth somehow because every Bethesda city has to have a theme the theme of this town is Bethesda couldn't get the rights to the Red Sox likeness consequently any mention of them has been sand blasted and Fenway has been transformed into a generic ballpark despite half the town dressing as umpires nobody even knows what baseball is except for Mo Cronin who thinks it was some kind of blood sport that would have actually been fun to watch diamond City plays host to several important public services such as the radio station the robot bar the waspy bar the meat bar and the Russian bar the Russian bar what is this still the [ __ ] land of opportunity what does the rest of the world look like that people are still immigrating here there's also a security department trained extensively in deescalation they're also not allowed to help with missing persons cases by order of the mayor because there's been no political blowback from this if we want to find our son there's only one man we can turn to detective Nick Valentine but first we need to find him detective Valentine has gone missing investigating skinny balon's Hideout for a kidnapped girl and by investigating I mean just walking into a mob bar and asking what crime they've committed to free Nick we must enter the practical joke that is the Boston Metro Transit System we infiltrate the crime Vault and by infiltrate I mean raid the place like Judge Dread thank God these people self-identify as Mobsters or else these kind of turn off the body cameras shoot first ask questions and never use of force might be considered excessive we didn't even know for sure if Nick is here let alone that he's in trouble for all we know his secretary was just trying to get rid of us because he was hung over in the back luckily for us and our criminal liability Nick is not only here not only falsely imprisoned but also ready to unleash some righteous Justice on these Sinners except of course for the one person actually responsible skinny Malone damn it Nikki you come into my house you kill all my guys and cost me my girl yeah but I was stuck in your basement so that's all justifiable homicide oh well that's all right then back at Nick's office in Diamond City we're immediately hired as a detective due to our excessive use of force as well as run through our case with Nick he's a prototype synth with the memories of a pre-war detective so what did this guy look like and what racial minority was he a part of uh he was white actually white like Hispanic what kind of cop did you say you were again just answer the question he was Caucasian and bald while there's only one bald man in the entire game let's go rob his house turns out John Harvey Kellogg was living in Diamond city with a young boy and no one had any questions about it after some light breaking and entering we find Kellogg's yogurt enema chamber what was the chair for did you just sit there and stare at the wall hey boy can you use the scent to find Kellogg no Kellogg not flight log dog meet leads us to Battle Creek sanitarium where Kellogg leads us through a series of audio lectures on Eugenics well if it isn't the most resilient man in the people of taxachusetts do not be alarmed we were the protagonists of the previous game where really cool we swear suddenly I'm regretting not taking dance up on his offer back in Diamond City we returned to Nick's office to discuss what to do now that we've killed our most promising lead you didn't happen to grab any part of his brain while you were there did you uh well luckily for you I know someone who can help us welcome to Good Neighbor the theme of this town is [ __ ] crime it's just crime but just like The Vibes besides the mayor stabbing a guy in broad daylight this neighborhood is more polic than the whitest gated community in South Africa within this crime slum exists the memory Den a high-tech laboratory where people can relive their cherished memories of picking through the rubble of the Commonwealth that I guess their back hurts less or something using the suicide pods from Fallout 3 we're able to Flatline ourselves so we can communicate with Kellog in the afterlife you're about to take a trip through the human brain welcome to Kellogg's frosted brain flakes using Nick as a host we journey through whatever was left of Kellogg's cherished childhood memories after we sent a nuke on an Express trip through his skull that's when we learned that Kellogg had a rough childhood yeah no [ __ ] I didn't think anyone who kidnapped babies for a living would be well adjusted we learned that between murders Kell was living in Diamond City with young Sheldon at the institute's request to bait us into killing him we also learned that the Institute has a [ __ ] teleporter well now that you've seen Cal had kind of a rough childhood don't you feel bad about killing him not even slightly but he was a person if anything I feel a little better actually what I kind of want to kill someone else now uh you should get out of here head south you might just find what you're looking for there welcome to the glowing sea during the Great War Massachusetts became so radiated that the map itself developed a tumor and now we need to braid this shattered landscape in search of a nerd named Virgil luckily for us Bas Staters aren't affected by any kind of winter even nuclear winter it's not that cold guys if anything it's weirdly warm this is still probably healthier than swimming in the Charles deep in this radioactive Wasteland there are many hidden secrets to discover including the rarest thing in a Bethesda game a settlement where nobody needs anything the children of Adam send us to speak with a former Institute scientist named Virgil who has been transformed into a Super Mutant through what I can only assume was a [ __ ] hilarious lab accident you want to get into the Institute you'll need at least an SAT score of 2100 a GPA of 3.98 and an essay about how you overcame adversity what kind of adversity you could kill a Terminator if we want to get into the Institute we'll need to Pat out our extracurriculars by ripping a chip out of the head of a corser an Institute Blade Runner what are you doing here I'm about to take a trip through the human brain we now have the chip but if we want to make it inside the Institute we'll have to decode it welcome to Old North Church home of the railroad because why have your secret headquarters be in any building when you can have it in a Historic Landmark with a giant red line leading right to your front door the railroad is a post-apocalyptic civil rights organization except unlike the Followers of the Apocalypse who wanted to help everyone in the postnuclear Wasteland the railroad Fields a small army dedicated liberating synth from their media labor it's like if Amnesty International fielded a division of Navy SEALs but only used them to steal people's roombas we seek to free the synth from their bondage because no one else will it's literally the apocalypse outside most people spend their days fighting off zombies and Orcs I'm not surprised they're not stepping up for synth Liberation how did you get inside our base you even knew our secret password you guys know there's a [ __ ] line all over the city that leads right here right also what secret password it's just your name what was password too hard to remember the railroad frees since from The Institute wipes their memories and ships them out of state which is like lobotomizing an injured dolphin and releasing it on a nuclear testing site but considering how familiar they are with the inside of synth's heads they're the only ones who can retrieve the teleporter Telemetry from the corser ship thanks for the data wait before you leave do you want to join the railroad absolutely not fantastic let's go to your first assignment now that I'm forced to continue the railroad quest line against my will we must help Deacon infiltrate the local Dunkin Donuts to retrieve a gun that doesn't look completely [ __ ] ridiculous Beneath The Donut Shop is an old railroad base that was raided by The Institute but now their base is more secure because they have a password speaking speaking of raiding people's underground bunkers it's time to serve the Institute an UNO reverse card hey sturis sorry to take you away from all your important work but I need you to build a teleporter well me and the boys have made absolutely no progress putting this T back together but yeah sure I can help you build a teleporter why is it that stur just knows how to build a teleporter out of aluminum cans and dog [ __ ] but can't figure out how to use a hammer good luck finding your son General I always knew you were a family guy if I mimiz nobody gets my stuff none of you deserve it a my molecules [ __ ] ouch welcome to to The Institute where they spend their time 3D printing an endless stream of hos in an attempt to create the next generation of vtuber they've turned their back on humanity and the people living out in the Wasteland are little more than barbarians to them very similar to The Enclave in Fallout 3 but unlike The Enclave their plane isn't the shallow machinations of the Captain Planet villain in fact their plane is so complicated that nobody not the player character not the Institute staff not even the director seem to know what it is but we do find a kid trapped in a glass chamber oh [ __ ] is this what dog meat was talking about it's me I'm Sean hi Sean I'm dad I was raised by the instit and now I'm its leader okay what's with the humanlike robots please tell me this isn't a weird sex thing do you want to join The Institute well I have some concerns I'm just going to pretend you said yes you should go check the place out since we're just kind of rolling with it we get to meet the institute's various departments such as bioscience what's with the gorillas is the institute's plan to return to monkey They a surprise tool that will help us later the Blade Runner division what work are you having these since do mostly meia labor like sweeping the floor and fixing some pipes okay and what part of that mandate requires them to have human emotions and advanced physics where we just happen to run into the worst obstetrician on the East Coast what are you a doctor of exactly I'm a doctor of minding your own [ __ ] business that's what well Dad now that you've met everyone how about we play catch I'd love to Son okay here's the location of a synth you need to catch for me I'll mark it on your map hey guys it's me big beak entertainment and today we'll be running some [ __ ] errands for our son which in this case means enforcing the Fugitive Slave Act of course we can always take a paage straight out of the dad's Playbook and go out for a pack of smokes and never come back every Bethesda game has a point in the main story where you just kind of stop giving a [ __ ] and start getting sidetracked and for me that's right here so this is as good a time as any to introduce you to the other faction's quest line starting with the vegans the railroad continues to live up to their name as we get railroaded from One mission to the next such as fetch quests package delivery jobs and running messages oh my god I've become a mailman of course if we don't want to join the railroad we can always sign up with the Brotherhood of Steel are you ready to get higher than you've ever been in your life Welcome to the nightmare blunt rotation that is the Fallout 4 Brotherhood of Steel back at it again with those child soldiers I see the Brotherhood of Steel is a militaristic authoritarian medieval larper session dedicated to shooting and looting pre-war technology on the blimp were introduced to Elder Arthur Maxon we've met him previously in Fallout 3 where he was a Child Soldier who got benched for accidentally shooting Sarah Lions but now that he's finished what he started he controls the Brotherhood of Steel on the East Coast if the haircut and the talk of Exterminating Abominations doesn't give it away the Brotherhood of Steel has officially crossed the Event Horizon of YouTube demonetization I guess this is what fox made me die for in Fallout 3 it's always fun to live long enough to see yourself become the villain I've heard good things things about you Soldier and I'm looking for a special Soldier part monk part Hitman part pest control specialist go to hell excellent here's your next assignment [ __ ] now that the gang's all here we get to choose which faction will finally Conquer Red Sox Nation will it be the racist the racist the racists or the progressive racist because I am a YouTube shill I let my subscribers decide and apparently they want me to support Presto gravity's minute because my subscribers love to see me suffer but the jok's on you I was fully prepared to rig the vote to achieve this outcome I'm not some fair weather fighter I'm Preston strong a soldier I unironically love the Minutemen I love these guys I love their stupid hats I love the overall aesthetic this is how men would dress if Society led us me and the boys on our way to not pay our taxes Fallout 4 is many excellent meaningful and well-regarded faction quest lines but we won't be doing any of them thanks to some true Patriots instead after getting promoted to General faster than jargar Banks we sell our souls to the devil in exchange for becoming a land developer hey guys it's me General big be and welcome to the dudes Rock militia in order to expand our burgeoning real estate portfolio I must now rebuild the minimen by becoming a door- to-door Hitman luckily for me and my limited skill set nobody has a problem with the solution more complicated than go to the next location and smoke whatever you find living there this is the equivalent of Joe Biden working as your [ __ ] Oran man except your local Oran man has more political legitimacy than I do hey Preston when are we actually going to have elections look the hell is an election there must be some mistake I'm supposed to be rebuilding America plant the [ __ ] corn despite the game framing the Minutemen as the second American Revolution I seem to have somehow built a highly factional military dictatorship held together exclusively by myself whoops I've accidentally invented Yugoslavia it's all the violence of the American Revolution with none of the idealism that being said you can't trust these people with self-rule when you can't even trust them with the most basic construction project damn [ __ ] you live like this now that we have five Farmers on our side we need an ancient decrepit flooded crab infested pit with a bunch of holes in the wall that [ __ ] hole is the castle a fort that's so outdated the Chinese didn't even bother nuking it it's so outdated it was conquered by [ __ ] crabs but using several farmers and several more nuclear weapons we're finally able to liberate the Crusty Crab this also gives us the ability to use artillery whose power is matched only by its inconvenience I can either throw a smoke grenade that drops a bomb after like a minute and a half or I can cut out the middleman and throw a real grenade but there's just something about being in the [ __ ] that makes you want to call in a danger close artillery strike on your own position and die gloriously like a hero of the Soviet Union or you can return to your war criminal Roots the faction quest lines come to aead at Bunker Hill The Institute gets where the railroad is moving 4 cents from a safe house here is for a lot no the railroad then tasks their entire Elite Infantry Division to protect the sense and the Brotherhood shows up to [ __ ] [ __ ] up so that was an absolute disaster yeah I've gotten some pretty concerning reports that you let the since go you want to explain that one to me dad why did you program them to feel fear I've been asking that for a while and the fact that no one has answered me is pretty [ __ ] concerning I thought we could be a normal family I thought I could unfreeze you and if you survived you could kill my enemies and reap of my stuff but you have to go around asking why roombas feel fear you're still not answering the question you're in deep [ __ ] Junior I'm 60 years old well I'm 200 years old then we appear to be at an impass [ __ ] you and the teleporter you rode in on I still love you son see you Christmas hey guys big beak entertainment here and welcome to balloon's Tower Defense 4 for no narrative reason I can discern except to be a DI Sean has ordered the Institute to wipe out the menen but despite having a [ __ ] teleporter they still don't have the element of surprise and I can set up as many turrets as I want to repel them we found a way into the Institute through an old pipe a pipe that doesn't sound very secure how did they miss that one well to get to it you have to swim in the Charles now that we have for some reason come into conflict with the Institute we must Infiltrate The Gamer basement and unplug the console once and for all we break into the bioscience lab and become combatants in the gay chimpanzee War given how eager these Apes were to rip me limb from limb I can only conclude primate Warfare as evolving too rapid this isn't animal cruelty this is a preemptive strike it's over Sean I killed your gorillas the monkey business is over gorillas are Apes you [ __ ] idiot I'm sorry it's come to this hi sorry it's come to this I'm dad because completing the minent quest requires soft locking the other faction quest lines the Brotherhood of Steel has been placed in a state of Lun narrative limbo wherein their Airship is just hanging out over Logan airport for basically no reason we should nuke him Preston we can't just keep nuking everyone we don't like isn't that the whole point of the Fallout series if War doesn't change men must change and all that [ __ ] I think we should limit ourselves to one nuclear first drag per day pal this game is missing a fourth act the Fallout act this would have been a fantastic opportunity to create a fourth act with DLC like they did for Fallout 3 Fallout 4 actually has the most DLC of any Fallout game with seven four that matter and two that anyone actually care about but let's start with automatron in automatron we must join forces with a killer robot to kill a killer robot army while creating our own killer robot army also I gave cogsworth legs the mechanist is releasing robots all over the Commonwealth and we need to stop them so we do that infiltrate in the mechanist admittedly baller layer we discover the mechanist is actually a girl oh well that's all right then despite the mechanist being a fundamentally good person she is accidentally created an army of robots hellbent on violence and destruction just like Taylor Swift then the final terminal doesn't work so I can't actually finish the main quest they placed the terminal high enough to activate but too low to walk to I feel like the developer is trying to Edge me from 2016 I had to go into the console and turn on noclip like a dirty criminal but the real item in automatron Pros column isn't the story it's the ability to send an army of Sentry Bots to secure the roads by assigning them as provision this provides more strategic control over the Commonwealth than the entire minen quest line but if you thought this DLC was good just wait till you see what Bethesda is cooking up [Music] next what the [ __ ] is this piece of [ __ ] okay you guys can stop cooking what the [ __ ] who the [ __ ] broke into Bethesda and made this you guys got no business making something this good in Far Harbor you must find a missing person because apparently that's the only inciting incident Bethesda knows how to write but if I'm going on a detective Mission with my boy Nick all need to dress the part Kenji nikano has asked Valentine's detective agency to investigate The Disappearance of his daughter Kumi she's not in there as common law Partners Nick and I go on a Couple's Retreat to a lovely beded breakfast in coastal Maine welcome to far Harbor a town on the ass end of nowhere Under Siege by a combination of giant salamanders extreme humidity and the most corrosive threat of all evangelicals Kumi has gone to a synth commune at the center of the island called aadia run by Nick's long-lost brother Dima throughout the base game Nick has been struggling with who he is without the original Nick Valentine's memory memories and it turns out he's a [ __ ] for real Deo will say the most catty [ __ ] and then just go AB but who am I to judge even name dropping the railroad buys you no credit with him the railroad you mean the guys who scare s into wiping their personalities in a misguided attempt to keep them safe but who am I to judge Kumi is convinced she's a synth well we can settle that right now ah Bethesda hey do we have a synth named kassum Nano nope well the railroad probably wouldn't have killed and replaced the real Kumi so she must not be a synth you're not a synth that's the thing I'll never know for sure what you you're you're not in the [ __ ] records there a [ __ ] paper trail Kumi says she's not going home because something here is sus the children of Adam are renting dea's old apartment and he's worried they might find his stash of incriminating memories so he assigns us to pretend to be one of Adam's faithful and infiltrate the church welcome to the nucleus also known as the most disgusting place I've ever seen holy [ __ ] nobody in the Fallout Universe showers but these guys extra don't shower and instead spend their days soaking in radioactive piss water they even put it in their light bulbs I can [ __ ] smell this place Children of atam the time has come to sit here and wait for someone else to solve all of our problems up to this point the DLC has been pretty great but this is still Bethesda we're talking about and no Bethesda game would be complete with at least one [ __ ] Mission so to unlock dima's memories we have to play Tower Defense by way of Minecraft here we learned that dimma killed the original leader of far Harbor and replaced her with a synth he's just as bad as the Institute except this time we can actually follow the thread of logic that would lead him to do this we can either convince him to turn himself in to be immediately Courier 6 gr didn't even let him get all the way in his knees then all the towns folk you've helped over the game stick up for you and agree not to attack Acadia we could do that or we could let it ride dimma pitches another murder and replace scheme for the children of Adam's leader High Confessor tus honestly things between the children and the town aren't even that bad if Dima turns himself in that's the end of the quest line they aren't even really after each other all their faction quests are completely unrelated but if you want to go with dima's plan you can either kill tectus or you can tell him to get lost and pray to atomy never decides to come back and destroy this extremely fragile piece fortunately 1,000 hours of settlement building has turned me into a professional Mason atam has demanded we make peace with the people of far Harbor atam also says that back wall in the basement is his favorite wall and you should never tear it down or change it in any way no matter which ending you pick for far Harbor you will feel like scum and that's great but as long as you don't play it like a complete [ __ ] it'll still end on the upbeat note that Kumi goes back to her parents when the Fallout fan base complains that Bethesda could never develop a good Fallout game this is the game you can slap him in the face with it's a shame they didn't retain any lessons from it do you guys remember how vault tech built vaults to run all kinds of crazy unethical experiments have you ever wanted to build your own well then you should play fallout shelter but if you wanted to do it in Minecraft I've got the $5 Fallout for DLC for you in the vault tech Workshop we can once again participate in a vault experiment except this time we get to be the perpetrator this one is bad the experiments aren't even good or funny also every time you place something in the vault a little bit of the nav mesh gets deleted so NPCs won't walk on it but because all interior cells share the same nav mesh whenever you place something in this massive interior cell you're slowly breaking your game Bethesda was running an experiment on us the whole time they played us like a damnn fiddle speaking of sick twisted experiments it's time to talk about n world do you guys remember the beginning of the video where I said I like Fallout 4 well that included all the DLC 2 even the absolutely worthless ones even the one that straight up breaks your game up to this point n world is probably one of the most tedious things I've ever had to play I Was dreading finishing far Harbor because I knew I would have to play this next but it's time I need to go to n world for some reason because some guy we met told us to it doesn't even have the thin veneer of looking for a missing person he's just like I've been shot get on the train When we arrive we find ourselves trapped in Joker's Fun House this isn't really a problem but at the end we have to fight a guy who's invented a bumper car Arena that makes him immune to nuclear weapons the only thing that can defeat him is a squirt gun and also nuclear weapons for some reason n World operates under the same rules as the Santa Claus and killing the previous overboss makes us the new overboss yeah I can't imagine setting that President will cause any problems hey guys it's me big beak entertainment and welcome to Nuka world now that I'm the owner of the world's least dangerous amusement part we'll be shaking hands with danger as we meet the three carne gangs that run the park the pack frat Bros dressed like they're at a [ __ ] Ed Festival The Operators a normal gang that actually wants to make money and the disciples the least homicidal amusement park employees I feel like I'm getting hepatitis just standing here now that you're the overboss of this Raider Triple Alliance you get to do all their work for them if I'm the overboss why can't I send literally anyone to do all this this is a top down organization you got to lead by example boss now you best get to work conquering those other Parks [ __ ] nuc world has five districts Kitty Kingdom the world of refreshment dry Rock Gulch Safari Adventure and Galactic zone three of these are literally just busy work but two are actually kind of interesting in Safari Adventure you can help Sito a man raised by gorillas because for some [ __ ] reason Bethesda already had the character model we'll also need to contend with Oswald the outrageous and his army of ghouls Oswald is a children's magician who adapted to the apocalypse by gaining actual magic powers at first I thought this was just for show but he does this [ __ ] when no one's looking so he's just [ __ ] magic whoever made n world was obviously not the same guy who made far Harbor holy [ __ ] far Harbor could have been its own game nuk World shouldn't have even been a side quest chain if far Harbor embodied all the best qualities of Fallout 4 n World embodies all the worst qualities 90% of the quests are tedious busy work there's no discernable theme or story and besid cedo and Oswald there's literally no interesting characters in this entire DLC and honestly these guys aren't even that good none of these Raider characters have any Nuance character development or even any interesting ideas driving them at least Caesar would spend 30 minutes talking out of his ass about hegelian dialectics it's almost like they made this in response to a bunch of [ __ ] complaints that you couldn't be fully evil in Fallout 4 as if that was the [ __ ] problem so they had add this $10 slice of nothing so these players could act out their sadistic fantasies in a video game instead of their middle school I won't say it's never cathartic to be a dick in an environment where there's no consequences for it but if I'm playing this for the story I at least expect some [ __ ] story catharsis this DLC is a lot of [ __ ] nerve to reach back into the main story by [ __ ] with the mineman quest line turning your settlements Into Cash like [ __ ] JG Wentworth then providing absolutely no story around it but if you were a loved one has been blue balled by n world you do have recourse embrace your inner Canadian and Liberate the town single-handedly through extreme violence and if you really want to have a good time hit that quick save button turn on God mode grab your Merv launcher and make your game look like one of my videos can I be real with you guys for a second I don't get people that passionately hate this game you like Fallout 4 you've lost all credibility damn you thought I had credibility me the funny twocan man whose most celebrated video is me bitching about Charlie [ __ ] Brown is the writing simplistic yes is any criticism You Can level against this game valid yes are the synthetic gorillas the stupidest thing I've ever seen yes but do I give a [ __ ] of course not because you can open the door and watch them literally go gorilla [ __ ] but why is Fallout 4 my favorite Fallout game I don't fully know there's something ineffable about Fallout 4 for me and if I ever unironically use the phrase Bethesda magic I want you to shoot me in the face with a gun but there's something about this game I can't put my finger on maybe it's the characters maybe it's the setting maybe I just like the New England Vibes I fully recognize the game's flaws the weak villain for one but also Fallout 4 really needed a fourth act I just excavated a new radioactive crater in the middle of the city and Scattered hundreds of mad sign scientist around the Commonwealth this decision should have some blowback some response some fallout Fallout 4 is a collection of great ideas that don't interact with each other in a meaningful way it's disjointed and lends the game in almost improvisational quality it doesn't Elevate itself above its tropes and results in a product that isn't greater than the sum of its parts in Fallout 3 you could blow through the main story without even really absorbing it New Vegas used factional conflict to create branching outcomes that players had to actively choose by prioritizing quest lines of whatever faction they were supporting Fallout 4 has similar quests where you have to choose which faction you're going to support but the entirety of New Vegas every Quest every character every interaction was built around the main story of conflict between the legion and CR and house I can't think of a quest that doesn't somehow inform the players's view of that conflict and those factions in Fallout 4 I'm not sure I could even tell you what most of these factions actually do here I can guess what they're about but it's rare to see the literal impact they have on the world I guess there's something to be said for subtlety as good as the story of New Vegas is it's about as subtle as a brick through a window characters will just tell you their life story and moral philosophy on man like they're queuing up for [ __ ] Ted Talk Fallout 4 makes you work a little bit harder for it but when you do start putting in the effort and learning about how characters are connected in the lore you'll go oh wouldn't it be cool if and you'll start seeing all the missed opportunities Fallout 4 really is a game of missed opportunities like going to the Institute and learning that Mayor McCheese actually is a synth wouldn't it be cool to tell Piper and see her reaction yeah it would have overall Fallout 4 isn't a bad game or even a bad Fallout game all of the pieces for a really great and poignant gamer here they just didn't [ __ ] finish it I will also say that playing without mods again feels like drag racing on a [ __ ] penny farthing bicycle that's why when Fanboys say modders will fix Starfield with a straight face I [ __ ] believe them I can't think of another business that's benefited as much from Free Labor as since the [ __ ] plantation economy I guess it's nice that the modders like doing it but when I pay $60 for a video game I don't like it to be with the understanding that I'll have to download 20 nudity mods later because Jimmy the Pervert is patching in the rest of the story but maybe I'm giving Bethesda too much credit after all it would be disingenuous to suggest this isn't the game they wanted to make and it's unfair of me to pretend Fallout 4 is the game I imagine it to be I just just wish they would take that last step of curiosity to ask why the [ __ ] any of these people are [Music] here oh God please like And subscribe please I want that [ __ ] plaque so much here's the deal if half the people who make it to the end of this thing subscribe I can get it I can only put something out once every 3 months anyway so it's not like I'm going to spam your subscription feed but anyway that's a wrap on the Fallout Trilogy kind of weird that it started with three and ended with four but I guess Bethesda just numbers these things however the [ __ ] they feel like I thought about making a video on Fallout 76 but I'm worried that I wouldn't understand it if I didn't play fallouts 5 through 75 first and since it looks like we're not going to get Fallout 5 before the [ __ ] heat death of the Universe I originally wanted my next video to be on Starfield but as a favor to Bethesda I wanted them to get at least some DLC out before I take a sledgehammer to it but it turns out obsidian already made Starfield except they called it the outer worlds so the next video is going to be on that but first a very special surprise for a very special cohort of my subscribers speaking of very special subscribers I now have a patreon where you can give me money in exchange you get access to monthly Patron updates on just what the hell I've been doing as well as early video access including access so early it might as well be exclusive content I'm currently torturing Myself by reviewing every Disney Channel original movie ever made but because that video is on the same production schedule as Fallout 5 I'm doing it segment by segment on the patreon feed all that being said I want to give a very special thank you to the cabal of Chads bankrolling this exercise and pointlessness and an extra special shout out to all the taxpayers who support me for no benefits and the ultimate Act of self-sacrifice and all the Canadians who have to pay the Canadian tax to convert their money Monopoly money into real money I've kind of made the executive decision that I don't want to take any sponsorships because I don't want to have to pretend that I have some deep Abiding Love of some anime mobile game so if you want to join the ranks of people with disposable income check out patreon.com be entertainment

Channel: Big Beak Entertainment

Views: 1,015,650

Keywords: Fallout 4, fallout, big beak entertainment, fallout 4 funny, is fallout 4 good?, how to play fallout 4, fallout 4 release, fallout 4 summary, big beak fallout 4

Id: ixLskmHQFl4

Length: 33min 20sec (2000 seconds)

Published: Sun May 12 2024