Explaining ORKS To My Girlfriend

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of explaining Warhammer to my girlfriend I am your host Ava and joining me as always is my lovely significant other Carrie hello before we get started we want to give a huge shout out to all of our friends and patrons who helped with the intro that was really really fun to put together and we have a huge announcement we have merch we've partnered up with bricky over at Orchid eight.com to bring you some great super comfortable hoodies t-shirts and oh is that a swarm of nurglings on your sweatpants or are you just happy to see me also there is currently a Black Friday sale any order over $100 is 15% off you can check out all these designs and more over at Orchid 8.com Link in the description and if you'd like to support the show head on over to our patreon at patreon.com numskulls where you can get all sorts of rewards like a private Discord bloopers early episodes voting on episode topics and much much more that's patreon.com num skulls so we're going to learn about Gods today no we're not learning about Gods that's next episode we're going to wrap up our chaos thing next episode with zinch probably not going to talk about malal because he's he's like a weird fifth chaos he's not canon but also Canon and also the reason why he's not canon is because of a licensing issue but that's a whole other topic today we're having fun today we're going to be talking about Orcs I love oh so what do you know about Orcs my love mushrooms right they are not mammals they are not mammals they are not mammals right it's that is true do you know like their overall Vibe at all men men men man well mushrooms Mushroom Men Mushroom Men is peach their ruler no oh well they they don't Mario they don't really have like a ruler per se oh do they have any kind of societal structure yeah oh okay yeah they do so Orcs are the comedic relief of the setting right they're goofy they're fun they're weird you don't really take them too seriously unless you're like fighting them I've heard they're British too they're Cockney British okay but my mom's from London Town am I an work me back on the menu boys that was scarily accurate to how kind of sound give me a body type I I got you big muscly stunted why did that sound like candle Think Of Orcs as we talk about them to be sort of like kids that don't have adult supervision okay I'm into that so as you said they are mushrooms they're kind of all throughout the Universe and they are by far like the largest alien population maybe tyranids are more but when they come to a planet and they infest it with spores cuz you know mushrooms it's very hard for them to be taken care of and gotten rid of right so they take up mushroom they take a mushroom it's true when you read like a Warhammer story or you experience like a game or something more often than not Orcs are at least going to make an appearance they are absolutely everywhere you cannot get away from these guys and a lot of people don't want to get away from them because they're so fun and Goofy and weird so if you run into one of these guys he's probably a fun guy maybe not to you he'll probably try to eat you oh yeah I mean this is still Warhammer right is it cuz I'm loud no to he wants to just fight you the way Orcs work is that they only care about one thing and that's fighting they just want to be fighting all the time or as they say crumping crumping they want to be crumping all the time not Crump it crumping okay they they they get together and they're like all right Lads let's go crumping and then they go Crump it's that like going out for a rip no it's like it's like going out to like fight and loot places oh okay I'm sorry would you liking it to go out for a rip is that a mushroom Lykan is a type of fungal the fungus oh I [Laughter] see so you asked about their society they're actually like pretty unorganized other than when they get to fight and even when they're fting they're very unorganized but the way that they kind of thing yeah kind of but they're more like disorganized societally because their entire thing is Follow the Leader and who's the leader it's the biggest order it's that guy but then you can't see him from where you are so for for you it's that so they're sporadic I see I see I see your jokes this episode I can understand I can't help it no you're adorable I love you so Orcs believe that bigger is better and that is true because let's talk about their Origins really quick they need to be Str enough strong enough is that also a mushroom thing it's a dish you might make with mushrooms I see I'm G to crini as many of these in here as I can while we go but I I'll let I want to hear about their Origins please tell me I'm going to be groaning silently no don't groan every I'm so fun yay everything's gonna be en Noy dokie for our viewers don't worry I'm face paling for you if you're not mold enough to get all the jokes it's okay oh my God I'm just trying to boost morale morale I see okay I'll stop so Orcs uh were actually around with the necrons and the alari back in the war in heaven when the Katan and the old ones were fighting Jack Taylor right is that right uh the Katan yeah the Katan we have deemed as the Jax Taylor yes the deceiver and and so on and so forth so Orcs were made as cks C they weren't Orcs they were cks cks and Orcs they were these genetically modified kind of a rush job to make them into these weapons these super powerful guys that are really smart really tactically Advanced okay and so they were basically like Dothraki where when they show up it's a big deal right and it's a problem for anyone that they're fighting it's a it's a it's an overwhelm situation yeah and because they are mushrooms the idea was these really powerful warriors are never going to stop coming So eventually just based on numbers they're going to win yeah you got to fumigate the whole house yeah or they're coming back or a planet and they're still coming back yeah exactly so obviously we know how the war in heaven ended the old ones died they're gone the Katan were imprisoned enslaved I can tell NE went to sleep I know all it's now elari would take over the Galaxy for a little bit for a little bit until they until the whole you know you know destroying Angel thing accidentally summoning a god oops oopsy oopsy oopsy my bad death cap ORS unfortunately had a problem oh they started to degrade over time they became much smaller much dumber and overall less what they once were you said that they were made yeah they were so they were like a race that the old ones like the alari they were uh a race and the old ones came by and they genetically modified them to be whatever they wanted in this situation they needed fo soldiers and so they made foot soldiers okay I understand so they came to some planet and there was some cute little guys running around there were some cute little fungus boys and they were like I bet we could multiply y'all it's interesting because cks were like these giant we we don't know a whole lot about them but they were essentially these giant Warriors that were really strong and they were really smart what's interesting about Orcs yeah is as they fight they get bigger and as they get bigger they get smarter so the idea is that they're sort of as they fight they are becoming more like cror so as you use them they grow on you essentially yeah but your average orc pretty stupid they're going to follow the biggest orc around right they care about one thing and one thing only and that's crumping and they're going to crump they love the crumping crumping crumping time boys now interestingly Orcs actually are religious okay yeah fair enough they believe in two Gods okay cool we love dual theism the gods that they believe in they're called gork gork and mor Mor gork is described as brutal but cunan but Mor is described as cunan but brutal specifically without the G yeah okay got it so the idea is that gork is like punch you in the face Mor is like punch you in the back okay which one is which so about that okay what what do you mean about that cuz I want to know because CU whichever one's going to punch me in the back I had I so so the the funny thing about gork and mor is that often in books even Orcs like characters and other Orcs will see orc iconography and often you'll see a symbol of gork or Mor and characters get confused so they'll see like an icon relate to this well they see an icon and it's like that's an alter toor or maybe gork this is me when I look at B's and D's I don't know which one is which why do they look the same what do you mean that's not a bog why they're they're so similar that even Orcs get confused onto which God they're actually like oh okay that's fair yeah it's really fun it sounds like being not entirely accurate and or sure about which God you're actually working with at the moment might be a theme that comes up multiple times in Warhammer yeah actually we've talked about that with specifically slanesh like there have been a lot of things like the idea of of the chaos Gods is that a lot of it is slow and like tempting especially with slanesh yeah you go in the deadly webc webway we go see my bab give me a shroom with a view honey so Orcs are big and strong but that's not what makes them dangerous yeah it's how they function Orcs have this weird thing where whatever Orcs believe becomes reality they manifest yes they they read that book The Truth the what is that book The the secret the secret that's it with the secret the secret did you ever read the secret I never read the okay it's one of those books that like all of our Boomer parents read and it's like supposed to like teach you how to like you know do your life however you want to do it but it's like it all comes down to like think about the things you want a lot think about the secret like make yourself like a mood boor and like to a point yeah that totally like makes sense like you want to in order to push towards something yourself you have to kind of interact with it in a way you have to you have to engage with it but it's not the secret it's not the secret there is no secret work hard so to illustrate how this sort of belief thing works I have a quote from a nekron book from uh the infinite and the Divine to sort of illustrate how even to a race such as the necrons who have pretty much mastered science and technology and so on they are confused by the Orcs cin our ships are without atmosphere unpressurized Orin said do Orcs breathe a pause they have lungs that's not what I asked John our um actually guy has left a note here saying disclaimer Orcs can't breathe in space but the answer to this is that they probably thought the nekron ship was pressurized so the Orcs probably thought the ship had air therefore it was n a problem so the Orcs are fine as long as they don't know what's going on they're fine as long as they don't understand what's happening they are AOK they're having fun which is interesting because this is only because they're not very smart right so a smarter orc would probably have a problem in a situation like this because they would understand like ah the ship's not pressurized there's no Oxygen I need to plan around that so it's interesting how like as they get smarter it kind of becomes more of a problem it's Orcs are fascinating talking the intricacies this happens like okay they have a cognition like I can breathe here or they simply don't have the cognition that they wouldn't be able to and thus it either affects their biology in so much that they are able to maintain homeostasis or it affects the world around them so it seems to be the idea of it just works and it works for them and to explain that orc guns and vehicles and stuff right they work and like Orcs make them and and like they they work right but the problem is a human will pick up an orc gun and go this shouldn't shoot this shouldn't be possible but does it but it works so okay so like let's say let's say there's a human and an Orc in I don't know like a space vessel like a like a let's say they pop out they're on a ship they're on a ship they're on a little ship together they're like vibing in you know putting on their tracks somehow the the the human passes out or something I don't know they fall asleep they aren't cognition they aren't thinking anymore so whatever they know is irrelevant to the situation but they are alive and breathing in this environment with this orc suddenly the spaceship Springs a leak all the air goes out the orc doesn't notice so orc would be fine orc would be fine he would be fine would the human die yes so it doesn't affect the world around them it affects them it works it works for Orcs so like if the human picks up that gun and tries to shoot it it won't shoot but if orc does it'll shoot if he believes it'll work yes it's weird right well I'm just trying to get the the what could you do with this cuz in my mind like you know you you get a oh my god oh wait I just we just found out which God I'm going to fucking follow cuz I was like you could get like an orc and like Gaslight the fuck out of him and become like an infinitely powerful being she's changing sides from seles to zinch already I think it's just a I think they just go together hun they do they do work together quite a bit let me put it this way you know how like ships will have like a like a big console with like controls and a steering wheel and stuff yeah fuck that Orcs have a button that says go oh just a Go Button make it go yeah it's just a big red button that says go what if you want to stop what if you're already going does it turn into stop why would you ever want to stop I don't know maybe you're heading right for a mountain yeah they would love that what about turning listen as long as an Orc is fighting parall parking can they go forward and back and then forward and back and then forward and back and then there's actually an interesting theory that is probably wrong but it's really fun to think about that you know how the tagline is the Grim dark future of 40K there is only war war yeah yeah so the idea is the only reason why there is only war is because the Orcs think that everyone's fighting but then that so the war never ends I guess they're in it I yeah so so I understand yeah no I know I'm picking to I'm picking it apart too literally it's just the beauty of Orcs is the stupid Simplicity of it how does this work shut up I don't know we're going it always has that's the answer it always has it always has it's never broken before so let's talk about the orc factions because there's actually quite a bit and we're going to focus mainly on the factions that you can play on tabletop which it helps that these are the most prevalent orc Clans sweet and we'll start with the Goths the Goofs oh I had go phase we all did so these are your classic Orcs they are from what I could read M they are the large lest orc Clan but they're your basic like Melee focused Clan Of Orcs they're real tough and their color scheme is black and white checkerboards okay I like the cool Skull thing yeah their logo is really cool fancy next up we have the evil Suns these guys are your vehicle focused faction they go fast right do you want to know what their main color is motion blur it's not motion blur it's red because anything goes faster or go faster for the the red ones go faster so Orcs if you paint something red guess what it's going to go faster cool this goes into their belief I wish that worked in Final Fantasy I'd be zoom in in front of all of y'all yeah you just zoom in front of everybody they actually have a pretty cool madmax Vibe so they have like a lot of like ramshackle junkyard bikes and cars and Buggies and all this stuff do they have planes they do have planes but I do they fly them out of the airport of bell are any of the cars like nice cars like porini no they're all ramshackle junk it's all junk that shouldn't work are the seats of the cars toad stools I don't think they even have seats I don't know we might have to just cre as many of them in there as they can I already used that one there's actually an orc racing game coming out called speed freaks Co oh that's really fun so that'd be really fun like we play that together I don't know if Orcs have trains actually you don't see a lot of trains in um I Love Trains in a lot of Warhammer stuff do with that what you will mhm our next faction are the bad moons bad moons so their main color is yellow because yellow is the richest color they are the richest because orc currency they have currency by the way oh their currency is te oh T is T is yeah they have tee as Cen oh I'm rich so the reason why they're the richest is because bad moon Orcs their teeth grow faster than other orc Clans they're like white Shar regular sharks regular sharks that's cool and also unfair well I mean so here's what they do with all their teeth they buy all the biggest guns a so if you play Bad moons you're going with like big DACA DACA is gun okay could they not just buy faster Vehicles well that would be what the evil Suns would do the bad moons are more focused on like big guns I see what you're saying but their main color scheme is yellow so they paint everything yellow to let you know like where the bad moons were the best cuz if they painted it red Orcs might get confused and be like is this an evil shange or a bad moons vehicle question let's say this is like Fast and Furious and they have a race but it's like a race for their car like you know how they're always betting their cars when they don't have cash and stuff and so let's say the the bad moons like beat the the fast guys cuz they pull some like Trixie Maneuvers they they and they take the red car um so the red one would go faster yeah most likely they would paint it yellow and then it would go slower it would go slower even if they believed it would be just as fast because they bought it and they had seen how they know it's going to be slower when they paint it well they're going to paint it to represent their faction but it's just a fact that the red ones go faster okay this is why DMS don't like me because you asked a lot of questions because like how do I how do I find the loophole right right well unfortunately with Orcs there are no loopholes there is just solid facts red ones go faster yellow is the richest color Okay etc etc right all right so bat moons have the biggest AA they also have more Gretchen slaves than the other clans Gretchen slaves so Gretchen are like goblins oh they're 40K goblins but it was just some poor lady just Gretchen over there sorry gret here's a fun fact about Gretchen they always have better accuracy like they shoot better than Orcs in game and they're typically smarter than Orcs but they're very fragile they're like made of glass bones and paper skin no my little guys yeah they're also they you know they're known as a lot of things like slaves workers emergency food rations so on and so forth M back on the menu boys yeah if there's not enough food they'll just start eating Gretchen well that's not good Gretchen yeah yeah poor Gretchen we we feel bad for our Gretchen friends they they deserve so much you know not to get eaten yeah that's nice they deserve to be happy they're they're so cute I love Gretchen so much a he stole all the loot why' you do that well because he wants it oh the other the other Gretchen's he talking to he's talk talking to or Orcs he's talking to or going to take the loot and then they're not going to get any loot yeah probably see these are the kind of loopholes you got to be watching out for yeah our next orc faction are the blood axes oh okay their color is camo cuz they sneaky oh porn orc snier Orcs they're the sneaky faction I feel like based on what I've learned you would watch them slowly paint a car camo until like the last drop of paint was applied and then it would disappear I mean you're not far off you're not far off it just turns invisible like where interestingly blood axes are mistrusted by the other orc Clans because be anywhere at any moment well no it's because they stab you in the back so often oh um scar brand Behavior just saying yeah pretty scar Brandy Behavior Orcs don't like that kind of thing they don't for eight days so they're they have a a unique model for their faction called the Commando which is Orcs that like they wear beanies and like hats and stuff they look like Black Ops Orcs all right they're really cool here's another reason why Blood axes are not very trusted okay they trade with humans and sometimes they work as mercenaries for them and you know what the other orc Clans they see that and they're like you're not that is downright un ory that's not okay that's not ory enough that's not ory enough I guess if everybody's saying it mhm it must be true it must be true uh the thing is they will work with humans but they're probably going to stab him in the back right but it's like I I if it benefits us we'll work with you we'll work with you until we get what we want and then we're going to take everything our next orc faction are the death skulls oh they are typically painted blue because blue is Del luckiest color look not green no because green is the best color okay sure cool I'm into it I love green Green's pretty yeah Green's great but blue is the luckiest so this faction they loot or steal most of their gear from battlefields or other Orcs or humans or so on this faction if you want to get into Orcs this one really encourages like yeah just take like a bunch of different bits from other things and just slap them together because that's what this faction's about right they really like mechs oh me too it's it's just really cool because you can just take like a bunch of human guns or Space Marine guns and stuff slap them onto an orc and with death skulls it's like yeah he just found them on a battlefield so like customization is really encouraged with them that would be in the death skulls two orc names that would be death skull Orcs uh you could just say like like a lady one and a man one oh are there lady or okay well like Grunt and grug grunt grunt and grunt you have to get in the robot or Gretchen will have to go again shj getting the soing robot what a what a terrible father terrible D oh gendo aari our next orc faction are known as the snake bites oh guys noodle interestingly they don't really have a color associated with them usually it's brown Browns and greens like really earthy tones because they're the more traditional Orcs they have a belief in the old ways so the old ways they don't really use technology unless it's like really really old oh okay they're often described as the toughest Orcs not the strongest not the strongest they're the toughest right so they're tanks as opposed to like doing the most damage we're talking tank not DPS yeah they're usually using melee weapons primarily or as Orcs call them choas right so they use like choppas and Spears right and they're home to my favorite orc subaction the beast snaggers beast snaggers so the Beast snaggers are so cool because all they do all they care about you know how like most Orcs are like crumping they want to like Loot and stuff not these guys you know what they care about about they're like we're Monster Hunters we go to planets and we hunt for Monsters oh this okay wait to like take them home and take care of them and like check on them sometimes and like make sure their habitats are doing well so it depends so a lot of their gear is like you know skinned alien monster bits and they're like wearing it so it's like Monster Hunter it's like you know the game right or sometimes they'll tame it and they'll use it to ride into battle like kind of is he is killing it what a beautiful little guy so snake bites are also they have the most squigs Squig squigs are are non-magic people who are born of magical parents what are you refer that's a squib oh what is a squib from Harry Potter oh I don't remember no it's I don't remember I I remember people yelling the word muggle at each other and for instance professor filch is a squid he had magical parents that's why he's allowed to be at Hogwarts I see okay that's cool yeah so anyway squigs squigs are another so Gretchen are also from mushrooms they're also spore creatures squigs are also sport creatures and their DNA is really they sport each other their DNA is really malleable there are all sorts of squigs food Squig hair Squig Anvil Squig you know like clonk is an anvil Clon can we take a Clon appreciation moment can we appreciate look at him he's perfect we what a little guy a body we could only aspire it's really interesting how much squigs are like used if you ever see orc with hair yeah that's not hair that's a hair Squig that that is like its mouth is like latched onto its no no it's like a lamp Ray it's like a lamp Ray I don't like lamp Rays don't think about it when just don't just don't think about it too much when you see an orc with hair well now I'm going to yeah well oh this whole series wasn't worth it now I know that the Dark Truth of hair or there's also like targeting squigs what water SK to the kingdom you just throw on what you want yeah it's just whatever you want right I got to hit this thing in the eye but I'm not good at this here's a eye yeah and so snake bites usually are the ones with the most squigs they like breed them they they take care of them and so there's a lot of different squigs that they use so what is this reminding you it's like those those like what's those games where you like breed things and see what they turn into oh like Monster Rancher or like I mean I guess some Pokemon games or yeah Spore I think is more what I'm thinking of but I also feel like I'm missing something like I feel like you know that weird app that came out a while ago where like people were like you can combine any Pokemon and some of the most nightmare fuel yeah yeah yeah yeah kind of like that yeah I like the ones with funny names GK our final orc faction are known as the free boas they are orc Pirates o I like pirate they wear funny little pirate hats and they sing she shanties and she shanties they're often made up of other Orcs from either broken War bands or they've been outcast a the orphan Orcs the or but sometimes but sometimes Orcs will willingly leave their CL so like a goth orc could just be like I just want to be a free Buddha and then he'll go join the free Buddha just live your fucking life man yeah just do your thing unfortunately the reason why a lot of outcast Orcs come into here is because they've done something really messed up kind of like the black the crows of sorry of uh Game of Thrones what John enters like some people volunte here some people are criminals and it's like better than being beheaded so yeah you could you could like imagine if the wall was just Pirates it's kind of like that all they're very similar to blood axes where they actually go around and they make deals with humans or as they say yies yies and they also backstab everybody a lot or stab them in the bum apparently this is my orc voice I found it free buddas are so adorable and I wish they had newer models because they have pretty old ones but what a lot of people will do is they'll 3D print little orc pirate hats and just dress up all their orc that's what I do to she's got a birthday hat and Christmas hat she does she was supposed to have a Halloween hat and I was supposed to make her into a dragon this year but I didn't get to it we can do a Christmas Dragon it's true look ke is going to live for a dragon no it's true dragons are freaking aesthetic boys it's time to talk about the wall okay I've had questions about the W yeah you've seen a lot of people in the comments screaming out W I have and I'm with you yeah I'm down to party I just don't know what we're wiing about so sometimes an orc will be asleep me too and they'll get a vision from gork or maybe Mor or both even oh they'll wake up and they'll get really excited and they have just this raw fighting energy they have like this Aura of hype around them and that spreads to other Orcs And they're like yeah yeah yeah and they start getting really excited TR and yes they start a hype train that's actually hype train so Orcs start this hype train and it's so powerful this fighting energy that it unites the Clans and they get together to go crumping and it typically is like they'll start on one planet and they'll just move in a single Direction and they won't stop so if you're in the way of an orc wall bad news to be fair statistically in space that's not hitting a lot right but an orc W can last a long time because the only way a w usually ends is if the main boss is killed the War Boss the was the was so so a lot of it's like it's like the little when you're running around in breath of the wild here's the kingdom and you see one of those big ass yeah boss bab get rid yeah when you get rid of the boss they all disorganize and then boss with the muddle bud this is the second episode you've talked about shooting something with a muddle butt I think you have a problem I like chaos and I like loopholes I see a lot of orc books where they're like the primary antagonist a lot of it is either we either get away from the orc or we have to to go find their War Boss to end this okay right makes sense and considering they have such a presence in the Galaxy that's the majority of Warhammer books you're going to read so the boss in this case is the guy who had the dream not always okay um it's typically just a regular orc but the biggest orc will be in charge of the entire wall yeah as multiple and there can be multiple walls going on simultaneously multiple multip multiple Wars with that it's time to talk about some notable Orcs let me want for you so we've been talking a lot about demons right let's talk about one of my favorite Orcs who has like one page of lore everywhere you look for him Mr Tusa demon killer Tusa demon killer not killer killer I'm dislexic Tusa was chilling on his ship called the gorah and then there were a bunch of demons that like started invading onto his big warship rude get your own sh so he found like the big boss demon right killed him Tusa had so much fun fighting this demon that he got a bunch of weird boys which are just magic Orcs that can like cast fist cast Fist and he basically yeah that that's what they do they cast fists and they they he got them all together sometimes I cast get out of bed it doesn't always work you failed this cast would you like to try again no I don't let me go so he took these weird boys and he used them to enter the eye of Terror so he went straight into hell and uh this caught the attention of our favorite angry boy K he like saw this orc and probably heard them screaming even though they're like in a big warship and he probably saw them and was like what is that isn't the eye basically like it's a giant hole in space yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but but but isn't it also like Fast Track to sl's tummy no it's just like a poor to the warp in general but if you are like if you're an alari in the warp sles just grabs you but she it doesn't matter where you are she doesn't like she's specific she thinks Orcs are like icky would she eat an orc I don't think Orcs have souls oh you're saying mushrooms don't have souls have you ever had a conversation you ever talked to him have you ever even trying so Korn observed Tusa and his boys fighting demons and was so entertained that once the orc finally died he just resurrected them and so now Tusa and his horde fight Corn's demons for all eternity every time they die they just come right back the next day and they could not be happier oh okay I was going to say this is like having a blast Prometheus situation but not so much we're having a great time it's more of a like we're GNA go fight forever in Valhalla he's basically orc Doom guy and he's awesome and I love him he's great Doom what's Doom wait doom doom guy Doom guy I feel like I'm just blanking so there's there's a game called Doom there's a game franchise called Doom where you play as a guy called Doom guy is it like Judge Dread no he's like just a soldier guy fighting in hell and that's the entire thing you're just you're just just a guy caught a train to Hell caught a midnight train going into the webway not the webway we went into the warp I guys it's I know there's a lot of you name and they're all the same thing but not the same train going the war don't St waging they they'll never stop our next character that we'll talk about is captain baduk of the free Badr Badr a bad truck bad Dr Captain Badr the free Booter Captain so he's a captain in the free booters uh he was exiled from the bad moons clan for having too many te for his own good Rich he is described as unusually cunning like he's weirdly smart for an or he's also a massive coward oh he's me he's Jack Sparrow no you know who he yeah okay that's fair he reminds me of and honestly as I was thinking it which is why I kind of laughed I feel like I wouldn't be surprised if this character was actually inspired by Jack Sparrow um probably uh oh shit his name just fell out of my head Hanzo Ona Hanzo Ona I can't remember exactly how to pronounce it you remember in Clone Wars he's the guy who comes back every now and then he's like a pirate um gang guy and he's got that kind of hair that looks he's got like the the bandana too yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no but then he's always fucking out of there the second the violence starts he's like oh bye yeah actually that yeah that's very similar to Captain Badr actually okay cool okay I get it I knew it was worth it so batrick usually leaves the moment a fight turns for the worst right using a custom and stolen teleporter and because he uses this teleporter other Orcs are convinced that he's just magic that's fair if I saw guy just use return just gone and I was I didn't know how to do it you know that first time when I started and you left me alone in the world for the first time and I died and I didn't know about return and I didn't see the pop up and I was just sitting likeone I don't know what to do and then I Googled it and Captain mck actually makes a significant appearance as an antagonist in the book brutal cunan which if you like Orcs that's a good book okay are they written how Orcs in orc yes yes they are oh I might actually be able to read it actually probably there is no way I could read it I don't our next orc is a relatively minor one but his story is really fun so I thought be fun to talk about his name was gzz guts gzz guts gz guts is the orc who time traveled I like time travel mhm the orc who leap through time pretty much so basically he was an orc warlord who um so he was on his wall went into the warp by accident and because the warp is all tyy wiy wibbly wobbly stuff the Octor what the the oct the O I'm the I'm the Octor o TI are cool o eyes an orc would unironically have a sonic screwdriver would work just because he thinks that it does it would be like all that one episode where he meets like the guy who thinks he's the doctor oh oh that one's really cute that was cute that was that was like a hard really cute that guy's an orc so they're in a Fugue State no they're just stupid oh me too um so when Gris scuts came out of the warp they actually noticed that they were back in time they were at the moment right before they went into the warp and so GIS gut being a bit of a kleptomaniac went into his past self's ship and killed himself to get two of his favorite Shooters whoa okay one second sorry so they went in the warp and when they came out they were back in time right before they went in so is it like they could see themselves over there going okay that's what I was trying to understand yeah okay the confusion of this event spiraled his horde into disarray and his W ended a Don't Rain on My listen listen even even time paradoxes confuse Orcs a bit too much that's when they tap out they're like this ain't fun anymore boss they certainly confuse movie directors so this obviously would then confirm that there are multiple timelines Warhammer is a Multiverse Okay cool so that means that that gz gzz guts right gzz guts yes so that means that that gzz there is no longer a gzz guts in that original Dimension it's described as he time traveled yeah time traveling is a thing in 40K yeah whether or not that means he jumped into another universe who knows the thing about gzz guts is his story is really fun because he went back in time to kill his previous self to get two of his favorite guns but it's just a lot of Orcs are really fun because you can just like have a story like that and you're like that's funny and silly and ridiculous they're not too worried about Canon events yeah it doesn't matter Miguel O'Hara would hate Orcs okay but he's pretty though no he he walk p he's got ire work on that temp our last orc we will talk about today his name is gazul mag Uruk thaka gazul mag Uruk thaka yes also known as Margaret Thatcher because of the hair that's not a joke no his name is supposed to be a play on Margaret Thatcher I'm looking I don't know why maruk thater the last three wordsa yeah gazol I think is just gazol you could say gazol is like the main character of the Orcs he's sort of like the one that's got the most going on because he's 40K biggest orc so he's the boss he's the boss he's the current War Boss of the Goths that's why he's got like the the checkerboard okay okay so he's gos a lot going on it's true gazco began his Rise To War Boss after a battle resulted in his head being decapitated usually that's the end of the story but luckily gazol isn't orc his body was slapped onto a Mech body oh okay and he was just fine and then so it happened really really fast it's like that okay what game was this that I saw a friend playing where like you get decapitated in first person but it all happen so fast that you're like your friends like catch your head and like stick it on a thing that they're able to like save you and then at another Point Hitler's running around and he shooting people that's wolfin style yeah but I remember cuz like I was just like watching my friend play this game that was like kind of violent and then it had this firsters cut scene where you get decapitated and then like quickly move and I was like that is actually like I was like traumatized I was like not okay I was like I did not need to see that this is interesting you're familiar with Wolfenstein but you're not familiar with doom they're actually very similar replace Nazis with demons to say familiar I think in your mind is to say have played I haven't played Wolfenstein well I mean like you're aware of Wolfenstein well I was aware of this cut scene I saw right I know that Wolfenstein is like you're killing Nazis and shit and I think that's great like my brother plays Wolfenstein my brother also plays Doom but at some point I think he has I have been like what are you playing and he said Wolfenstein and I've probably seen him play Doom and just not ask what it was right because as I said they are very similar yes so you probably saw doom and was like oh that's Wolfenstein or just any other game or just any shooting game yeah I it's just that at some point I was told what Wolfenstein was and a category box was was made in my brain so I can hear Wolfenstein and go oh yeah that's the thing with the Nazis that hadn't happened for Doom yet so after gas cool was decapitated and his body was slapped onto a Mech which made him very big right uh he deemed himself the prophet of deah kind of like a weird briia or like moo um the the prophet of the W prophet of da oh sorry prophet of Da I would say Mawa is law my is law my no um actually fun fact he was actually saved by a little Gretchen that he keeps around Nam Mari no greten Mari Is His Banner waiver so he like holds up like Gaz Cool's icon and is like this is G cool Mari is known as the luckiest Gretchen because every time he dies he gets resurrected with all of his memories intact oh yeah we don't know why and everybody else who gets recommended recommended hey guys I really like this one or he's great you should work with him uh here's his car his WS are fantastic but make sure you bring your own condoms um sorry listen the listen there is a community that finds 40K Orcs quite attractive oh that's that I can't remember I came across like a hashtag L I was like what is that and like clicked it and it was like people who are attracted to monsters or nonhuman bodies and I was like oh yeah I got to I got to go marari gets resurrected so other so other people who gets resurrected they lose their memory typically resurrections are not very common in 40K okay so not only is it exceptional in the case of like when they I guess it messes with your head you know yeah that makes sense you lose oxygen going in there for a while it's gonna scramble stuff around it's very odd yeah but mari's great and he and Gaz are like kind of friends I love friends he is not Gaz Cool's best friend Gaz Cool's best friend is a human named commissar Yar okay Yar is a guy who lost his arm in a battle with an orc and as a response he calmly reacted by ripping off that orc's mechanical arm and replaced his own with it har did you put your arm this event was seen as the coolest thing ever by every single orc whenever Gaz hears that Yaro is on a world it doesn't matter what he's doing doesn't matter who he's fighting he's going to stop and immediately go wherever Yar is because two as cool Yar is the most fun to fight because Yar is the only human that understands how dangerous Orcs are and like understands their tactics and how to fight them he just wants somebody to understand it should be noted that Yar does not reciprocate these feelings oh he is horrified of the Orcs oh no and John has provided a passage from something to really illustrate how Orcs can be terrifying okay let me get comfy guys every get comfy was going to read us a tail oh I'm excited this is told from the perspective of commissar Yar gazul mag UK thaka awaited me beside the ship's access ramp I did not let my confusion or the sense that I had slipped into an endless waking nightmare slow my stride I did not hesitate as I stro towards the monster I stopped before him I met his gaze with all the cold hatred of my soul he radiated Delight he then leaned forward a Colossus of armor and beastial strength our faces were mere centimeters apart my Soul Bears many scars from the days and months of my defeat and captivity but there is one memory that above all others haunts me by day it is a go to action by night it murders sleep it lives with me always the proof that there could hardly be a more terrible threat to the Imperium than this orc thaka spoke to me not an orcish not even in low Gothic in High Gothic a great fight he said he extended a huge clawed finger and tapped me once on the chest my best enemy he stepped aside and gested to the ramp go to Armageddon he said make ready for the greatest fight so yeah gas is terrifying I mean he's kind of just a viking like in the sense of you could say yeah you could draw lot of parallels between Vikings and Orcs yeah but also like a Goron but gorons are also kind of Viking well not really but like I just mean like in the I guess the brotherly bigness maybe I'm getting more of a like an like an English Knight coming across a viking and like not quite understanding like the pleasure that's taken in in seeing this fight fight and like in in in the activity itself but also like in in the glory or or kind of the Merit that you take away from winning or losing or being in that battle also side note I play this character in Redwing glitch silver like this is their entire Dynamic is that Redwing is like the hero and he's trying to do things and my character just fucking is like a crazy person who just loves fighting him right well also think about it from yar's perspective where like the average orc is they're just going to Grunt and scream and try to kill you yeah but then you have the biggest one you've ever seen in like this giant colossal Mex and he's just like let's go fight again and he's like smiling and super happy about it like that is horrifying well I mean think about that with any if you were anything like if you're fighting this demonic creature the scariest moment is when it asks you what you're doing or something yes when it looks at you and like is on your level the hardest demon to beat in Zelda is darklink cuz he understands yeah well it's it's he has everything you have so how do you counter that you take out the mega t Hammer spoilers oh he doesn't have why doesn't he have the hammer I don't know that was just how I always did it I there are other ways to do it you can also just be good at the game but I was four yeah that's fair um that's all I have for Orcs for you today do you have any questions um so it's not only that he retained his memories it seems to be he's quite special because he is of like a human intelligence not only is he the biggest orc he is the smartest orc and that is that's what makes him special so but he is not the biggest because grew the biggest he's the biggest because he's in a Mech so that doesn't matter they're not like prejudiced towards being if they B yeah it's literally the the one who takes up the most space has the most power there's a fun minor story with an orc War Boss who there are like orc doctors they're called pain boys fair enough anesthesiologists is what I'd say but I guess P would rather die than be under the scalpel of a pain boy okay so not anist at all they're just just going to poke you and P you and experiment on you because that's what they find to be fun so it's like when you would have an operation in a theater a theater yeah so this War Boss every time he was like under operation he would kind of notice that the pain boy that was working on him his body would get a little a little bigger the pain boys would yeah it's weird okay he would just get slightly bigger and he was like well I must be seen things he and no so the idea is the the pain boy whenever this war would get big enough the pain boy would kind of switch their heads oh this is from what someone else told me I did not do research on this so this could be like totally wrong that's but this is what I remember this is a black market you're dealing pain boys are messed up bodies yeah but wa what I thought they were doing like orc growth hormone they're doing orc surgery you think put gas in the M listen head transplant is a little more than a surgery I mean they're probably just switching heads a head transplant yeah get a Gretch that's only happened once and it didn't last long yeah but that was it that was a puny me it ain't me ain't me like a big orc it was a scientific Marvel and pretty tragic for the family but yeah I'm kidding I I guess it's just blowing my mind that that's the easiest way to do it but I suppose it's the most literal I want a bigger body you just put them on a bigger body so just put him on a bigger body I guess so like on a battlefield if an orc like gets shot and there's a pain boy behind them if the pain boy doesn't just take them into an infirmary he might just like slap something on them be like you're good to go and that orc will just get right back up right as rain he's good to go orc head comes off yeah just slap it back on you're good so could you like like if one guy comes in he doesn't have an arm and then another guy comes in and then he doesn't have like a leg and then like another guy comes like you know when everybody thought like Shane Dawson convinced everyone that they were just reusing the pizza slice is it like that or we're just putting people back to like Franken Orcs pretty much okay I guess what works works that's great for people making minis because like oh yeah this is what I was saying like Orcs when it comes to like taking different things and combining them excellent yeah it's like literally like the Mad Max like fashion style of like whatever was around yeah they they have a a very strong junkyard aesthetic and it's quite good yeah um who would you say your favorite orc Clan is um oh the snake bits I think I mostly I like the snake bites yeah the snake bites are quite good Al they got the as we were talking about yarar the free fre boot yeah I liked I liked all all those guys but I think the snake bites I think I'd be happy to live on a little ory ranch with my little orcy genetic experiment like my little Squiggy boys and I'd be like making different big squigs and little squigs although I I don't want to like you know I don't want to overbreed the population and then they can't find good Squig owners they're they're just mouths with legs pretty much they eat anything they're the male fantasy this is what w this is the body type expected of women men what's stopping you from looking like this man what if it was a Squig think about it it think about it think about it a lamp Ray is pretty appealing if you don't look at the che I don't I don't want to think about this I don't want to think about the spot being a Squig you have a favorite orc character that we talked about today I mean I like time travel guy but you like grit guts I do it's pretty funny what he did I mean I would say it's not very smart if I travel in time I'm not going to kill myself I'm going to like work with myself you know he wanted two of his favorite guns and God damn it he got it right where did could he would it he could have taken a lemon believed it was the other gun no that's no it's it's not like that that's not how it works I'm sorry the belief thing only goes so far I mean yeah that's kind of belief that's what faith is but like one orc can't just believe I'm invincible and then he can't die that's not how it works it it typically has to be like integrated within their society sort of you know what I mean like the red ones go f every agrees on this it's just how it works right okay but I can't just like take this pencil and say this is a gun if you could Gaslight the Orcs you could solve so many problems this is what I'm saying just manipul them fix it if you could trick an orc or convince an orc of something that would be universally accepted among their Clans what would it be I'm the Son of God whoa who it feels like a three wishes scenario like if I can only convince them of one thing I guess I'm going to convince them that everything else I say is right right there we go now I can just oh no I have to like make schedule let me tell you something so yar's got one of these like artificial eye things it's like this big red yeah I've seen this before sight Circle this coined him the nickname baale eye and they believed genuinely that he could shoot lasers from it and so I don't know if Yar ever found me man you're going to tell me about laser I got see from his eyes X-Men has given me expectations there may have been a situation where Yar saw an orc and then a laser may have come out I don't know listen in 40K anything is possible it's the Des glare it's like when you actually it's the you're dead to me star oh I wish I could do that so often times whenever they lose a fight or they need to retreat they don't see it that way they see it as we don't want to fight you right now we just want to fight you later that's me that's ADHD anything that I don't do now I do later but later doesn't exist that's the fucking they just go away it's so good oh Orcs never lose ORS is best I guess Korn likes them corn does like the Orcs quite a bit they fit very nicely into his Vibe right but like are do they are they more like I could see them also being more nurly being well being green but like they're overall well also being fungus exactly being like a decomposer people have done a lot of really cool kit bashes where like they paint the orc's skin to be like red and they give them like demon horns and stuff yeah it feels like their ideology is more corny fits very much where the corn I don't know I think I think it's my own idea of Orcs that's influencing like like you know classic Orcs like like Lord of the Rings and like generic Foss and like coming out of them weird mucus holes yeah they're not really gross they're more just kind of violent they're like barbaric yeah they're they're just they're children they're children with no Adult super children they're going to run around and break things they're children now and gazol is like a teenager essentially H okay so yeah that makes sense he which makes sense because he's so smart that he actually has depression me too po poor I got to read his book I've heard it's very maybe he would get along along with necron they would have a lot of common is his head aging oh I don't know I don't know if Orcs age I don't yeah I guess mushroom types depending like they kind of just keep growing yeah I think they just keep getting bigger um so Orcs have like their own lingo would you like to know of what they call certain things yeah so we've gone through a couple things like guns are DACA daa we always need more DACA yeah swords are choppas choas Space Marines they used to be called beaky gits because they had very Bey helmet yeah I see it chaos Space Marine are spiky boys act I think necrons are tin heads or tinnies I Never Had a Heart I don't know if they have a name for the eldari they might just call them like pointy ears or something right so which clan is Shrek in where's donkey any updates on Heroes of aoria it's sort of on the back burner right now I said I'd help and then I had a mental breakdown I'm sorry what is your favorite tabletop game or favorite video game currently I sometimes have trouble with tabletop games because I have trouble with reading and so that kind of thing can be really intimidating to me hence things like this and having a partner who you know is willing to kind of like sit down with me and help me explain in a way that works for my brain is very very helpful but I feel like it goes between Final Fantasy and te the Kingdom right now but mostly it's Final Fantasy right now currently I've been playing a lot of cyber Punk good game I'm glad that they fixed it I've been trying to get more into Pathfinder second edition I like a lot of the systems and I would like to see if I could possibly DM game maybe even for the channel I did one Pathfinder thing the little Goblin like mini Quest and I really enjoyed that that was really really fun that's cute what is the first thing that comes to mind when someone says Warhammer a Space Marine yellow I just the color yellow I can't mint chocolate yay or nay yay or baby girl come I must mansplain to you the minations of this rare the beetle I found

Channel: NUMBSKULLS

Views: 304,144

Keywords: warhammer, warhammer 40k, 40k, lore, story, summary, podcast, couple, ork, orks, 40k orks, waaagh, ghazkull, grizguts, tuska daemon-killa, makari, red wunz go fasta, silly, funny, dakka, choppa, beaky gits

Id: Bih6zM4Iojs

Length: 59min 26sec (3566 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 23 2023