Ex-Muslim Author Naeem Fazal

he has been pursuing me my whole life at first I did not know what he was doing but now I know sometimes I wish I wasn't an ex-muslim I've always felt like a stranger in a strange land I was born and raised at Pakistani and Muslim and we spent our lives connecting to a God on a mat then one night everything changed I met him and he changed my life not just mine but also my family's this has been an amazing journey of coming out of what I used to be into the person I was created to be I came to Jesus before I came to Christianity I came to the cross before I came to church the story is about how God pursues us is calling us to live the life that his son died for Psalm 27 says when you said seek my faith my heart set back to you your face Lord I will see my hope is that each one of us would have the courage to seek Him and allow him to shape the person he created us to be good morning it is so good to see you how are you guys man I'll tell you what I'll tell you what you guys are the best looking church seriously it is so good to see you guys those of you who are watching my camp on campus it's good it's good to be seen by you yeah it really is and that can you can you give made them make them feel welcome let's do that let's go crazy for them love you guys love you guys you know it feels like home it really does every time I come back here it feels like I've never left but it is so awesome that I get to share my story because you're part of my story those of you who don't know if you're new here I think I need to reintroduce myself to you and and the first thing you need to know is that English is not my first language I'm an immigrant a bilingual immigrant speak four languages and until I realized that English is a little hard just a little it is it is there's certain words I just can't say for example this word right here scrool right I did say it scroll scroll I said it right okay some of you guys know this because you maybe know me but I actually did not know I couldn't say this word until til one day I was in fact I was in Mount Pleasant actually my wife and I our first apartment and apparently what happened is that middle of the night some Scrolls had found their way okay focus I found it away from the outside into our bedroom wall and they were throwing parties every night and so it got crazy one night I got up as from banging the wall trying to get them to shut up and it wouldn't happen and so my wife is like hey listen you got to go complain and I was like I got this - the next morning I walk in to the office right yes and there's a woman there she turns around and she goes hello she British and isn't it true though they like with British people you want to talk like them don't you but you redo and so I go well hello to you too she goes well what seems to be the problem like well we have a serious cruel problem and then I real and she goes you have a war and that's when I realized oh I can't say this word so I just kept on saying we have a scrool problem it's a serious problem you need to look into that and we need to do something about Scrolls and she goes Scrolls I say yes Scrolls Scrolls like three rats we have a serious screw problem fix it lady and I kept on saying that for a couple of minutes until she said well we'll see what we can do about that I was like well alright then it's all I left and I'm telling you I'm faced her face was like I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm gonna fake it and so I tell you that because those of you who don't know me maybe you might leave here wondering what in the world was he saying and so I don't want that to happen because I believe it a God wants to speak to us not those of you are in this room but those of you are who are watching listening you're here really because you need something that I don't have you need God's whisper to penetrate your soul in your mind and you're going through some stuff this week and there's nothing I can do to help but I do know that if we can create an environment then maybe you can hear him and that he could breathe life once again and so let's pray together and let's see what God wants to do lord god I thank you I thank you for your presence God what we're doing as we gather together a week after week is is that we're allowing you to move into a context not space not a physical building but we're allowing you to invade our hearts and our minds and our souls and I'm fully aware god that this morning and there are people that need a whisper they need something that they've so tried to attain other places they need your words and so God would you speak to us but you Phil would you fill the space in Jesus name Amen man let me ask you this have you ever wondered if you're really living the life you were created to live ever just stop and go you know what I think my life could be better I think I'm not really living the life I was created to live I was meant I was meant to live isn't it true though that intuitively we live in this this gap between the current life that we're living in the life we want to live like in our minds there's a life that we want to live in it's epic and it's great and it's wonderful and we hear about the possibility of it and there's something inside of us that says yes I want that there's something inside of us regardless how old we are if you're a middle school or if you're an empty-nester it doesn't matter there's something inside of you because you were created with this this idea that maybe just maybe I need to live more there's a bigger life for me there's a life that was created to live and so sometimes we find ourselves in a place where we realize that that were were the things that are defining us are or that describe our lives are not the things we really want to become we want to become something more have you ever seen someone else's life and thought now I want to do that right you have right you've probably looked at people's stuff even and said I want that right have you ever thought that you thought I want I want her and then you get you have her and then you're like I want to give her back just joking joking but we do we do we live within this gap between what could be and what should be the question is what shapes us what empowers us what enables us sets us free to live the life we were created to live is there such a thing I believe there is I believe nothing can shape you into the person you were created to be other than God's love for you God's powerful unfailing pursuing love is the only thing that sets us free to to live the life you were created to live empowers us to move us out of the person we were into the person we were created and meant to be the reason why I say this is because that's my story my story is it about this God that I did not know that started pursuing me and my family and he kept on pursuing me and kept on pursuing me and now he's taking me out of the person I was maybe born into and into the person I was really created to be you see I I have two brothers and two sisters we lived in Kuwait we were actually Pakistanis and so with immigrants there and and the life was good but in 1980 the late 80s my brother older brother got accepted to a college in the US and we were really really excited but he got accepted to Spartanburg Methodist University right we had no idea what Methodist meant we're like America that's all so you know we're like yeah that's great send him there and so he shows up to this University has this crazy experience with Jesus comes back the next year and he tells me and my brothers and sisters that he is a Christian he's gonna follow Jesus he's gone tell mom and dad he's no longer a Muslim and he's like really bold about it and I basically react I grab his neck pin him to the wall and threaten to kill him yeah not a good moment for me but I couldn't believe that he was gonna do this because in Islam you you just don't all of a sudden believe something else it's it's more of a nationality than a religion and so for him to say that he was going to destroy our family he was was basically rejecting everything of our tradition he was doing something that was far beyond changing his belief system it was bigger than that so it was very emotional very intense for me and from then on I did not want anything to do with my brother so in 1990 couple years later Iraq invaded Kuwait if some of you guys remember the Gulf War took place my family and I we were stuck in the Gulf War in 1992 we got a chance to leave I got a chance to leave and so I was really looking forward to coming to the u.s. I really really was I knew my brother was kind of like this Jesus Freak psycho crazy guy but I was really looking for to us you know I belong people I mean blonde women not really the dudes but not into that but but I was so so excited but you know what ironically you know where I'll end up Kim I went from Kuwait all the way to I landed in Miami Florida right they all look like me in Miami and so I show up like this is the wrong country I think we made a mistake here this cannot be America and so I was told later on that that that it is part of the US and but the white people live in South Carolina and so finally I finally made my way to South Carolina where all the blood people live and so so I show up right show up I'm thinking my brother's gonna be like oh Jesus this and Jesus that he does not do it doesn't I do it I mean you can ask him he's in the crowd right there and so he shows up and he basically just invites me to FCA Fellowship of Christian Athletes and I'm like I don't know about this and he then he says there are blonde women there I'm like sign me up man let's do this and so I start showing up to FCA in the back watching people hearing the messages and I'm thinking that like some of you guys are thinking here or there you're thinking this whole Jesus thing is absurd I mean come on really really I mean this idea that God is our Father he sent His Son Jesus to have a personal relationship with us they got its personal intimate and he wants to have a connection with us day today kind of seems narcistic I mean come on come on you were not that good right I mean and so I just thought like that whole idea was ridiculous in fact I would mock people I would have arguments with people but Mahmood didn't say anything but at one night we walk in downtown Charleston and we got into an argument and and I said even the whole idea is you're stupid man and I remember telling him like okay so you're telling me that Jesus and God is so real that he'll come down if I should pitch to ask him to reveal himself he'll do it and I remember walking by this bush and I said so you're telling me that I could just tell God to come and burn this bush and he'll do it so it's mocking him and you lead it he goes you know what if you ask him to reveal himself he'll do it sounds like you're an idiot you know that's what I thought so the next time and I'm at FCA I am in the back and they're ending in prayer and so I'm like you know what I want to do this let's do something so what I do is I kind of go I go I look up and I go if this is even half true like I want to know what's not true is it I'm talking to myself right okay that's it all right that was it those it that's that was my prayer now three days later though everything changed okay this is where the story gets freaky okay Casey can you say freaky oh good dinner good job yeah hey drink that here he does so three nights later I'm in my room trying to fall asleep I'm about to shut off a lot of the lamplight and all of a sudden I feel like something has entered the room can't explain it it felt like death evil dread entered the room my body begins to react to something I cannot physically see and I'm I'm freaking out but I don't understand why I'm confused as well as I'm fearful as I look around feel like things are moving but I can't really see them as I'm trying to understand what's happening something grabs my shoulders drags me and pins making my pillow I flip out I'm trying to I'm trying to get up something sits on my legs now I'm paralyzed and the only thing I can move is my neck and so I go back and forth I'm going what's going on and then I do what any person would do I cuss in every language I know and so and so now I'm like screaming bloody murder I'm hoping my brother would hear me but the door opens up and in walks this I told you it's freaky right so in walks this demon thing okay now I'm a Muslim like I'm not even into demons or vampires or werewolves I'm just not into that and so so this thing walks in I'm thinking wrong room bro like this is just I'm not I'm not into this and so this thing walks up I don't even know what's going on and this things communicates with me and says I'm going to kill you and I'm like I think so like I mean yeah and so as it's walking closer I'm thinking this is you know I've ticked off some God obviously up there and then first reaction was I ticked off a lot because I went to FCA darn those blonde women you know I'm like ah and so then I'm thinking you know what maybe it's not a la maybe it's Jesus it looks nothing like the pictures then I'm thinking maybe it's something else so as I'm thinking this I'm freaking out because it's getting closer and closer so at that point I am pranked to anybody up there Allah Buddha Oprah I don't care okay and so this thing gets closer and closer reaches my bed and I'm thinking okay see you later world and it disappears what was holding me let's go and now I'm stunned not paralyzed just lying in my bed going what the blank happened and I run out of the room wake up my brother and I go what did you do what what is going on he was like are you asleep no I don't think so and so I tell him the story and he confirms that there are demons I didn't know that I was like what see I'd never read the Bible so I just thought that the the Bible was basically like the Quran just stuff you're not supposed to do but it's fun you know like that's it and here he tells me about Jesus interacting with demons and I go oh yeah that's true and I'm like what the what and I go okay okay so so what do we do and you know he goes okay well he starts telling me about salvation and and the gospel and the things I've heard before he tells me great analogies and all that as he's going through it I'm like feeling this dread of like I'm gonna be I'm gonna die somehow and I just say you know what just stop just stop ro I need something I need something bigger I need like someone to help me fight off this big ugly thing okay so I need some serious help and he says this I'll never forget it he says the only person I know who has authority over demons and angels this is Jesus and I go alright well then let's do this let's just make the connection let's do whatever we have to do Adam on Facebook I don't know like this do it let's do it and so we prayed together and he prays for me and I pray and my prayer is this I mean again I was a Muslim like two minutes ago so I'm like I'm thinking and I've never prayed really out loud in my own language in Islam you pray in Arabic on a mat and so I just look up and I go you know what Jesus I don't know who you are so I can't say I love you I can't say you're the Lord of my life because I don't know who you are but if you will help me from with this I'll give you my whole life it's not smooth my sincere prayer and then my brother prayed for me as beautiful as grade and like okay a man named man like now what because I'm still scared to death and so I kid you not and you can ask him he gives me the world's smallest Bible it's a Gideon Bible I didn't know what Gideon meant but it's a green Bible it's not as big you guys know what I'm talking about he's like I read John I'll see you in the morning and I'm like I'm thinking move over I'm spooning you like now I'm not rude not happening now gonna in the room and he goes are you gonna go back in the room I'm like no I don't he's like no you just prayed to Jesus you gotta go back to that room I'm like I just met the dude I don't even know his last thing you go back in the room I'll stay here and so he goes back and forth back and forth who's going back in the room and finally I'm like okay I'll go back in the room so go back in the room you know hiding behind the Bible and and I sit there and I'm freaking out because everything's making it sounds and and and I'm reading John and I'm thinking you know what I'm a Muslim man I don't want any part of this I just don't I just you know what this is this I mean what's going on I don't want I just I just want God to leave me alone like really I just went through a war and now I'm attacked by invisible dudes I mean can I have some real issues like you know people are gonna think I'm crazy what what's going on and so my frustration turns to anger I put the Bible down I go shut off the lights come back to my bed and I sit on my bed look up and I say Jesus if I die tonight it is your fault that's what that's always my prayer life has gotten better just so you guys know I didn't know what else to do so I pray that or say that and then I put the covers over my head and I'm hoping nothing else happens but I'm thinking if something does happen I'm just not gonna open my eyes cuz I can control my eyes and I don't want to see anything nasty and so in sum I'm lying there and then a couple minutes later something is beginning to shake me I'm like oh no round two and I'm hoping it's my brother he wants to snuggle but I don't think that's him and so so the I'm being shaken and I'm like okay whatever happens don't open your eyes don't open your eyes don't bring us in the next second I find myself sitting on my bed with my eyes open staring into him and he he is intoxicating like I have never felt the peace of God so aggressive it felt like I was looking at him but I was somehow inside of him and he said I am Jesus and your life is not your own and I remember just staring and into him and at him and thinking I can't keep my eyes off of you but I cannot keep my eyes open it felt like I in this state was not meant to be in his presence my body couldn't take it and he just put me to sleep the next morning I wake up and I got this spiritual download and I think I went to my brother and I was like hey so I'm supposed to be ministry I don't know what that means and that moment has shaped my life but not just mine not just his but my sisters and my younger sister and my other brother and God has pursued my whole family and now we're all followers of Jesus mom and dad are not yet but it is amazing to me what God will do and how God will pursue us it doesn't matter where you were born it doesn't matter where you came from his love will not quit on you and he will pursue you if you're here this morning the reason why you're here I mean the real reason why you're here is that there's something inside of you that's drawn to him and your brain doesn't have language to communicate or process this but your heart responds and that's why you're here listening to this and you need to be reminded that there's a God out there who pursues you with his love because he knows that the only thing the only thing that can take you out of the person you are or you were and into the person you were created to be is his pursuing love for you it is a very very different kind of love in fact it is a love that is everlasting let me read you a couple of passages of scripture here this is one of the scriptures is define God's love for us jeremiah 31:3 says I have loved you with an everlasting love I have drawn you with unfailing unfailing kindness you see the God's love is very different from the love is that we experience or we express in the scriptures God's love is explained as a perfect love the Greek word is telling you actually let's say that I love and we want to learn Greek okay tell a you one more time tell a you it's a telling you love it's a perfected love here's the big difference God's love does not evolved it does not grow anymore it cannot grow anymore your love and my love can grow see we're in relationships right now and our love can grow all right my love for my wife will grow my love for my kids will grow my love of guacamole will grow I know it will you know it just will it will I will love it even more and more and more one day I'll wake up and I'm like I love you more than I loved you 10 years ago but God doesn't wake up and go you know what you know I call me crazy I think I love you more no it doesn't happen and the reason why it does not happen is because our love is based on condition our love will grow based on a certain kind of performance if a person in a relationship devalues the person chances are the love is gonna decay it will either grow aural decay but God's love does not because it's not based on any condition it's not like you know what if you did this I would even love you more because God knows us completely and therefore he loves us completely in fact let me read you this passage of Scripture I want to jump to Jeremiah 1 check this out Jeremiah 1 says before I formed you in the womb I knew you what I mean before I formed you in the womb I knew you before you were born I set you apart what do you mean you had a relationship with me before I existed who does that could it be possible that God has been dreaming about you before you were born because you imagined he was thinking in his imagination I can see how so-and-so is gonna become this kind of person yeah I mean isn't it baffling to even think that God could love you before you do anything else I mean that kind of love is ridiculous isn't it it basically gives us it seems like gives us the freedom to do whatever or does it do thing else for us maybe it does not give us the freedom to do whatever we want to maybe it empowers us to become the people we were created to be in fact resist the temptation to become anything else and if you don't believe me check this out God Himself had to remind Jesus Jesus Son of God Jesus of this very truth so if you know anything about Jesus you probably know that about 30 years old he started his ministry okay he started doing some things and the first thing he pretty much did is he went to go get baptized you remember that anybody so he gets baptized by John John's there Jesus shows up just like I'm next John's like what no way Jesus like yo I'm sorry a bad joke bad joke sorry had to say please like yeah you got to do it you got to do it so he gets baptized ramela he gets baptized he comes out of the water and then there's like this epic scene right like there's a dove maybe I don't know I don't know what this light smokes probably a rock band I don't know who's playing maybe Justin Timberlake I don't know all I know is I missed the concert yesterday anyways hope so it's a big scene and then there's a voice let me remember that there's a voice that says something in particular let me read it to you if you don't remember it says this it's found in the Luke chapter 3 verse 22 it says in a voice from heaven said you are my dearly loved son and you bring me great joy the message translation says this you are my son chosen and marked by my love pride of my life now what's confusing to me is Jesus hadn't done jack let me think about it what did Jesus Jesus do at that point get baptized and he didn't even do that John did he gets out of the water did he walk on water no he didn't do anything he just got up and God I mean did it God just kind of go over shoot this little but he goes and tells Jesus hey hey Jesus you are my son and you bring me great joy God doesn't say to everybody else hey by the way I don't know if you guys noticed the reason why there's a dove on him the reason why this has happened is because he is my son and he's pretty amazing God could have said anything he could have said this is the Messiah believe in him God didn't say that God said and spoke to Jesus he told Jesus this is not about everybody else it's about between him his father and son and is a very intimate moment and God says Jesus hey yo you are my son and you bring me great joy before he did anything I mean there's no miracles there's nothing wouldn't it be great though if our dad and moms would have done that Hey before you do anything before you go prove yourself to the world or whatever before you accomplish the things before you can do the things you want to tweet about let me just let me just tell you you are my son you are my daughter you bring me great joy I didn't do anything I know I know I just want I just want to tell you you are my son you bring me great joy I mean you think maybe God overshot it because right after that right after that Jesus goes to the desert and is tempted if you know that the temptation of Jesus is pretty intense you would think that God would have waited right you go through temptation you come out of the temptation he's all good he uses Scripture God gives him a high five the Ching you're awesome and then the voice says this is my son he's pretty amazing look what he just did but maybe God knows something about us that even if you half human or sort of human you need to know before you do anything that you are unconditionally loved by God and you bring God joy that when God looks at you and you don't believe it I know you don't believe it he looks at you and he smiles and he goes I just love him he hasn't done jack he's living in all kinds of horrible stuff I know but he's the pride of my life really you're proud of that yes I am proud of that because God knows this is that and he knew it with Jesus he knows it with us that if he tells us beforehand before we go through sensation if we know and embrace and believe that God loves our so much that when we go into temptation his love for us will empower us to resist the temptation to be anything less than we were created to be that's why he tells Jesus before yeah I know you haven't done anything you're the pride of my life you bring me great joy you're marked by my love you are my obsession I can't stop thinking about you I know you haven't done anything Jesus goes through temptation what do you think he was thinking all the way I better prove I prove myself I gotta do this focus Jesus focus Oh was he thinking I may God smile Wow God knows the only thing that can shape you shape me to become the person we were created to be is his unconditional Kelly you love perfected everlasting love for us so he pours it out on us and if you're here this morning you're thinking I get that I get that it does something for me but honestly I don't believe it I can't believe that God would do that because well I'm I'm in the situation right now and that I can't explain and I can't understand that if God loved me so much why would he let me do this or why would he allow this to happen I mean named God loves me and that's why I get this medical report God loves me so much his favors on me that's why my kids are not talking to me God loves me so much and unemployment is messing me up and reshaping the man I'm supposed to be it's messing me up I didn't think it would but it is you're telling me that God loves me so much and his saver is all over me but I keep failing in life you're telling me that God still loves me and he loves me and his love is undying when I've been struggling with this sin again and again and again and again and again you're telling me that I don't disgust God because i disgust myself and you know what - that the only thing I can do is remind you of Romans Romans chapter eight verses 31 to 39 this is the message prayer paraphrased translation it says this if God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us embracing our condition exposing himself to the worst by sending his own son is there is there is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us he goes on do you think do you think anyone is able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us there is there is help me with this out loud out loud there is what oh I can't hear you there is what there is no way not down not not trouble not hard times not hatred not hunger not homelessness not bullying threats not backstabbing not even not even the worst what sins listed in Scripture and then he goes a little bit crazy here he goes I am absolutely convinced that what let's try this again I am absolutely convinced that nothing living or dead angelic or demonic today or tomorrow high high or low thinkable or unthinkable absolutely what can get between us and God's love because of because of what what because of the way that Jesus our master has done what embraced us and he is not letting go so I don't know where you are this morning but I do know where you need to be I think you need to be in his arms I need I think you need to allow him to embrace you to tell you I know that everybody else has been waiting for you to get your act together but I have known you before you are born I know you feel like a disappointment to everyone but you are the pride of my life I know it feels like you've been marked with failure but you are marked by my love and I know you have upset and disappointed so many people but you are the joy of my life could you imagine if you believe that you're listening to this and there's something inside of you that says oh god yes please but just imagine if you moved from listening to actually believing it you wouldn't need anybody to love you you wouldn't need anybody to approve of you you wouldn't need anybody to compete with you wouldn't need to have anxiety of where you are in life you would know that you are loved unconditionally completely and there is nothing you can do to make God love you more and God chooses to never love you less because his love is everlasting he draws you with unfailing kindness because he knows that love his love is the only thing that will set you free that empower you he knows that it is the strongest force humanity he will ever experience his undying love is the only thing that can take you out of the mess to take you out of the person you are right now and shape you into the person you were meant to be you were created to be so my prayer is this I pray that you allow him to embrace you for some of us that you know what that means it means Jesus if you are real show me for others what it means you know what I'm committing my life Christ my life is not my own I've played around with this I've kind of kind of went back and forth this is it today it is and some of you guys are not in this room you're in that room right there and you have to pray and believe and invite him into your life you need to do that today and others of you you need to just lean on God's love because the stuff you're going through is extremely hard and you cannot depend on other people's love and hope and other people's commitment to you you have to lean on God's unfailing love for you and I think some of you some of you you need to let him love you you need to let him love you no other love will shape you but his none no man's gonna do it no woman's gonna do it no kid is going to love you only his love shapes you into the person you were created to be let me pray for you Lord God thank you thank you for your undying love for us this telling you love it's a completed unconditioned love that you poured out on humanity and you've been able to do that because of what Jesus has done he's made a way for us that we no longer have to use religion to prove that we love you because you sent Jesus as proof that you love us and so Lord God I pray would you allow us to embrace I believe that live in that lean on it trust it as we go through our lives knowing God that as we abandon our lives to your love you will empower us you will transform us you will move into the person we were created to be god I pray that you speak to us even though we do not want to hear but you allow us to see even though we do not want to that you love us and you are in our lives and you're in our kids lives and you're in our marriages in our finances you're there you're there because nothing nothing absolutely nothing will make you stop loving us I thank you for that in Jesus name Amen

Channel: Seacoast Church

Views: 71,821

Rating: 4.6563101 out of 5

Keywords: Ex-Muslim, Naeem Fazal, Muslim, Mosaic Church, Muslim to Christian, Islam to Christianity

Id: kzcoyiERvIw

Length: 42min 45sec (2565 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 14 2014