Everything Wrong With the Batman in 26 Minutes or Less

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do it do they have a super long tool on a stick do they go up on the roof pouring rain here in a bit so how fast can you close this when the rain comes imagine the real estate agent yes this is the most expensive penthouse in gotham city it's six thousand square feet and comes with a skylight you can choose to occasionally open about six inches for when you want a breeze but only want it 30 feet above your head where it does you no good honestly the skylight is the biggest sin in the entire movie so far what i know we're less than two minutes in but this is a big problem oh oh look at these worthless lamps i joke a lot about movie scenes having too many lamps but this is different these lamps are only on for color purposes they are lighting nothing the tv is doing 95 of the lighting lifting in this room right now those glasses may be a prescription and they definitely somehow make this character creepier but they are bad for stealth there's so much light reflecting off of them i'm not sure how the mayor didn't see him peripherally contacts do exist look you go through all this trouble to make sure you don't leave hair samples or dna in this place but then you scream like a maniac when you go in for the kill there is a security detail downstairs right maybe somebody outside the door who in the f doesn't hear this and why doesn't the mayor of such a huge crime-riddled city have security cameras all over the interior and exterior of his home thursday october 31st batman's log it's a big city i can't be everywhere sounds like you're just making excuses to be a batman movie steals the salt bay thugs punching people on video thing from glass we can't play it but here's a sin-off for that main batman theme michael taquino rules after hearing batman noirate about the signal being a warning we see one criminal that spots the light and backs away from an alley there's no indication the bat signal is stopping tons of crime in gotham is batman trying to make himself seem more important in his own diary because he knows that alfred is sneaking peeks at it batman takes his sweet ass time walking to the gang of kids about to beat up this innocent man because it's more important to build suspense than to rescue people yet another place the three and a half hour long movie indulged itself the hell are you supposed to be batman's been running around for two years long enough to have a bat signal that makes criminals cower in fear then how does this guy not know who he is oh dude batman just made it past 80 other cops and was following behind gordon the whole time what makes you think you're the last defense here when he was clearly invited there's a lot of blood and dude says it's from the victim's hand but then he shows us a super clean hand man sure there's a thumb missing but i don't see any evidence of massive blood loss he was alive when it was cut off echemosis [Music] security detail downstairs that the family was out trick-or-treating and they said that most of the security detail downstairs was also trick-or-treating because they didn't see sh i asked them to compete yeah but why couldn't you just share the evidence with batman after you checked out the crime scene why put yourself on the line inviting a guy dressed as a bat here when you don't have to do that yeah there's an envelope addressed to batman but wouldn't you avoid inviting him here and ask him about it somewhere private yeah kid found him and left one bloody footprint you're telling me this kid came home from trick-or-treating immediately took off his shoes ran into his father's office discovered the body took one step in blood and then hopscotch somewhere to leave one print murder robberies assault little caesars maybe it's beyond saving but i have to try push myself you just said earlier that it's a big city and you can't be everywhere so maybe you should try to get some help or use your incredible money and resources to research what is the root of the problem before going out and beating ass every night this video bruce is scrubbing through caught by the camera and his contacts why so yes yeah maybe contact cameras aren't up to snuff or something but why does it look like buster keaton's gonna show up at any minute in this footage this continues it won't be long before you've nothing i don't care about that well you should because you 100 cannot keep being batman if there's no money god damn you're not my father guy tells his father figure that he's not his father cliche why is the car covered nothing else in here is covered if you aren't worried about your electronics gathering dust why are you worried about it with your car okay and i'm sorry to do this but the screenshot of the eye camera video or bruce scrawled in the he lies still answers to this part of the cipher not the same as the one we saw earlier which means more than one version of this prop was made and they weren't compared which is odd but that would leave most of the cipher unsolved i don't see how that's gonna oh kind of weird that the program bruce is using to decipher this removes all the symbols in a dramatic suspenseful way instead of just removing them immediately without a forensics team nearby batman pulls a piece of evidence out of another piece of evidence drive i love how bruce solved the cipher and how it led him here but it really does seem like during a normal investigation detectives should have been able to scour the area and find this drive all by themselves jesus could you guys not give this to a computer expert before plugging it into your own laptop batman should know not to stick a dirty drive into an eager laptop why didn't he think of this it's encrypted try this does batman have to come up with everything solution can't gordon figure out on his own just he wants holy no idea so we should definitely visit the iceberg lounge and beat tons of ass to get in there without a warrant instead of just putting this photo into facial recognition software or you know simply asking people who this woman might be no matter where batman goes it's always raining oh so it's that kind of movie is it we've got angel salvador and bullseye in this scene with vampire bat edward cullen this definitely beats my fan fiction luckily for batman both selena and oz people who work inside the club just happen to be outside of the club to be photographed and selena is wearing the same boot she wore in the photo i love how in movies when they're tailing someone they just get right behind them and count on folks being oblivious but when i'm out there driving if a vehicle is directly behind me for more than three minutes i generally assume i'm about to get murdered he's still got the eyeliner on but is clearly changed out of the bat suit so i guess he's carrying that thing around everywhere he goes at night and that has got to be heavy and i want to know if he strips down to skivvies or if the bat suit goes over the street clothes batman continues to get lucky by scoping out selena's apartment and finding the windows completely unencumbered by curtains or blinds it's like the batman locked into the same apartment from rear window this makes no sense to me she called a roommate on the way home reassuring her that they would leave immediately because said roommate is now on the news for being the dead mayor's secret girlfriend but after coming home and briefly comforting the roommate selena is now changed into catwoman garb and is leaving her roommate alone i realize she's going to get the girl's passport but she knows gotham well enough to know she's leaving her roommate to die why does batman follow catwoman when annika is the person he's looking for because he goes to chase some cattail the imminently endangered annika is now in her apartment all alone and of course is going to get killed okay if he's going to weave between traffic in the exact same pattern as her and 30 feet behind her she will definitely know she's being followed i guess maybe that's his point here but so far batman is not great at discreetly tailing bad guys seriously about 80 of the crimes in batman films could be stopped by simply removing the skylight out of a building it would solve batman's crime problem he worries about in his diary also what's even worse is that it's the mayor's house once again the place where he just got murdered and of course there's no one around to see this honest question if you can just tug your repel rope loose how did it hold your weight as you'd send it she's trying to get the hell out of here and this son of a stole her passport sounds like a convoluted way to get batman to chase after you instead of the person he should have stayed around for you would have made more sense if you were the mayor's mistress and i never even heard of a roommate named annika took my phone you didn't take your phone with you the video is very disturbing not as disturbing as the dirty cat food can litter countertop in this shot the truth about our city will finally [Music] be unmasked hey gordon doesn't that sound like paul dano should we croft reference this would there will be blood to be sure i think the riddle is paul dano batman once again figures something out that any child could but none of gotham's detectives can for some reason also nobody ever thinks these things could be booby trapped and go straight in without hesitation riddler spent five times as much effort on this fake greeting card as he did on his costume this card has raised lettering also if riddler is able to make raised lettering cards this good those skills should be traceable there's a scrapbooking club member somewhere that recognizes this type of raised lettering what the hell is that bring him into the light find the rat i don't know this movie is four hours long and they just had gordon recite aloud the text of the card batman just read i need to see in there this hunting ground i don't know why batman can't just go undercover as bruce wayne to this nightclub that apparently brings in all the super important people of gotham he'd be able to recognize anyone that might have information in this case since everybody is so high profile why put someone innocent in harm's way okay so it's not quite an apple sin but selena is constantly chewing gum in this movie this is a little actor trick to make it seem like they're super cool but it's goddamn annoying kenzie william your computer can do facial recognition on this guy but you can't get one from a photograph of a woman who has an official passport are you sure no one can see these things in my eyes don't worry i'm watching it that doesn't answer the question besides how fast do you think you can get into that club if something goes sideways that's the d.a in a past life i knew his wife she was the sister of the guy who was in that cowboy movie with the joker directed by the dude who did hulk there was a rat we had an informant we had big time information on salvador maroney look even if batman has some sort of background noise canceling on this microphone wouldn't gill raise his voice like he's in a nightclub with loud music this recording is way too good also i know he's on drugs and he likes selena but for sake is he taking truth zero does he think the rat story gives him a shot at her so since we know the riddler is in the back seat of this car how did he get inside without the alarm going off i guess he could have stolen gil's keys at one point and made a copy with some specialized equipment but honestly i don't think the movie has an answer it's just in the screenplay and that's that this horn honking while he duct tapes this victim is effectively creepy for the viewer but in the reality of the film he's only drawing undue attention to himself by allowing this horn to continue honking who knows how many people touch us politicians police the courts little caesars [Music] why does batman need to rewind this dialogue over and over and over there's nothing you can possibly tell from it other than what she says it's not an elevated train here to catch richard kimball if i had a hypothesis it would be that batman is jerking off to the idea that selena isn't in a relationship and he just wants to hear it over and over the parking situation here is strange he's waved here and told to park here and then dude walks away a bit later someone comes up and says sir and i guess takes bruce's keys and bruce gives him money or his keys but then that guy walks in the direction opposite bruce's car i can't play it for you but ave maria is playing again this movie is obsessed with ave maria and something in the way and those are both fine songs but in a five hour movie maybe you can have time for a third song like tub thumping or i want your sex i'm gonna go pay my respects will you wait for me i want to continue this why not just continue until you're done talking and then go pay your respects the memorial service hasn't even started yet i know we want to watch bruce see himself in the little boy some more but it's weird she cuts off this super important conversation right when she does the idea that this car got through here is pretty comical there was a barricade and several cars blocking an almost impossible stairway leading up to this place how the did this happen and yet most everybody here just stays the cops don't even make an attempt to evacuate this place until gordon suddenly gets the bright idea much later hey chief you better take a look at this you better come take a look at this cliche wouldn't this call and broadcast on twitch talk make him a lot easier to trace and find there's a clear computer screen being reflected in riddler's glasses but who wants to make a bet that gotham's finest don't look into that at all so much bigger than you could ever imagine it's the whole system i already imagined and assumed it was the whole system maybe even higher up than that you don't know me coulson you have no idea what i'm capable of imagining look batman doesn't have armor over his eyes or mouth he's literally standing right there and yet the explosion merely knocks him back a few yards and knocks him out he has no burns or anything once he wakes up also batman passes out from an explosion and the cops bring him to the police station i mean sure maybe the top cops are angry and want to question batman but in the non-movie world even criminals apprehended on the scene of a crime were taken to the hospital if they were injured not the police station this is a cool scene and i like it too but it makes no sense you're gonna put yourself on the line for this scumbag tim you're the chief you're pissed off at batman why the are you letting gordon put himself on the line in the incredible cop shooting at batman put tons of civilians in danger also this has to be one of the tallest skinniest police stations in all of history there's a reason most police stations aren't skyscrapers and it's because during emergencies 20 flights of stairs or elevator rides are incredibly inconvenient so after punching gordon and fleeing the entire police force batman goes to the abandoned building and lights the bat signal that everyone knows means batman are you telling me the cops don't know where the signal is located only gordon does because that's some galactic levels of all those angry cops should see this signal and go immediately here and realize that gordon is still working with batman and get even angrier hell one of them should have followed gordon as soon as he left the station it means a rat with wings like a stool pigeon a penguin's got wings too the riddler left this riddle way too open for interpretation i thought the idea was to expose the people involved in the corruption not make people guess multiple correct answers in fact the more and more i think about riddler's plan and what he hopes to achieve with it the less sense it makes this just got complicated he says this instead of another vigilante just showed up and is probably going to start taking up bad guys look if batman can disappear like this in front of a bunch of people who were looking directly at this car and shooting at it then he could easily just go up behind them and start beating the out of these dudes rather than running to the car but the movie says it's time to bring in the batmobile so it must and it's awesome but seriously if the guy's got bulletproof armor and 100 stealth rating he didn't even need the car driving against five lanes of traffic at night in the rain i'm shocked penguin doesn't die here with batman having nothing to do with it i will say though this is an absolutely amazing car chase even though it didn't need to be in here i'm removing a sin because this low angle camera work makes this one of the best we've seen in a long time we've slowed the footage here so you can process how the universe utterly gifted batman a sudden ramp here ramp x machina i hate it at least in dark knight rises batman shot a missile to detach the coupling and create the truck ramp i guess batman runs into oz here hoping that he doesn't die this is a major witness to a crime he's trying to solve and he just leaves it up to chance anyway alice survives this it's like the way spanish i avoid honestly this is probably the real biggest sin of the movie but only penguin recognizes the bad male female pronoun in the spanish gordon is a high-ranking detective and batman is batman and they both miss this off you think he made a mistake he hasn't made mistakes it's fine batman didn't solve this right away because he's essentially new to this but the incorrect spanish was known from the moment alfred solved the cipher why wasn't batman at least thinking about why there was a mistake i just want to pause for a moment and celebrate the field laptop here that probably belongs to batman but might belong to gordon but definitely has all the arrow keys wow bruce wayne slash batman is so vain he actually went to the old orphanage instead of realizing this was about him i guess carly simon would say he acted the opposite of vayne here but still he's only at this orphanage right now because he's stupidly cocky thinking that bruce wayne himself could never be a target dropheads that's droppest i guess this projector's been here playing this thomas wayne footage on loop for some time or riddler turned it on remotely or something doesn't matter i'm just amazed those junkies next door didn't find this thing and sell it for drugs here is the biggest cheat in all of 2022 cinemas so far the editing suggests he has a shot at getting home or calling home in time to stop alfred from being a bomb victim when in reality the movie eventually shows you that alfred had been injured long before batman's frantic drive home so movie is a dick alfred opens the package with the obvious riddler font on it i mean run it through an x-ray or some dude aren't you military god damn and once alfred sees for the batman he should run the away i've been trying to reach you like how did batman have his phone on mute we sedated him we just have to help his stabilizers nothing about the riddler's attempt on bruce wayne makes any sense why did he feel the need to kill mitchell himself and kidnap gill but do nothing of the sort with bruce wayne like the bruce he thinks he knows might not have even opened that package and just send it to the fbi bruce desecrates an entire room floor simply because he's never heard of a bulletin board i want to know why a guy like phil kony would owe you anything because he's my father yeah and all that but why did this have to be such a big secret anyway also does everyone in this movie have daddy issues who are you under there skip catwoman is attracted to batman here for no reason at all i suppose it's just natural attraction but given the stakes it feels more scripted than it does natural gc1 news continues to let the riddler say whatever the he wants on their airwaves wayne turned to long time secret associate carmine falcone and got him murdered the riddler is doing a very good sense video here of bruce wayne's father but there are no dings after each observation no counter or timer and the narration is a little uneven i'm sorry i'm super sorry but how the does he get that batmobile in and out of that elevated slot without running over his standing computer desk tell me he has floors that can move and dip and i will give you points for creativity while also giving you the middle finger we saw how he got back in here on the motorcycle and it involved stairs how does he get the car out of here and if he has a separate entrance for the car why not use that entrance for the motorcycle as well bruce goes to visit carmine and the movie feels like it's almost over but it still has a whole hour left you can't just say i'm gonna go visit carmine and we star wipe to the carmine conversation we've got to see this whole walk into the club [Music] jesus christ by never thought falcone killed that man now that i've heard the truth about thomas wayne and how he hired a gangster to help him with a nosey reporter i've decided that i'd have liked it better if bruce already knew this owned it and became batman anyway basically what the whole falcone alfred section of the movie does is tell bruce your dad was a tiny bit less perfect than you thought now let's get back to the riddler business i'm telling you goddammit she called me now the movie relives batman and selena's failure during that scene where batman inexplicably chased after her and she inexplicably left her phone behind complete with a plot convenience voice message that confirms falcone as the villain that set riddler's plan in motion when i hear this phone call all i hear is an hour of the movie's run time that could have melted away cross that line you'll become just like him revenge shaming selena does this obvious threatening move so slowly i can't believe batman doesn't stop her after all that talk about not killing the dirty cop kind of crazy that this underground club with all the secret doesn't have a peephole of some sort to see who's out there before the door gets open or camera feeding to a monitor they can look at complete with an intercom bruce goes to a restricted area where the door is just unlocked i really think you're going to want to see this this is leica you're going to want to come take a look at this cliche wrapped inside a mini x machina so that selena doesn't kill falcone herself and saves her soul or something it's cool that all this plays out in darkness but was that really necessary batman already infiltrated the club downstairs earlier and beat everyone's asses with light strobing and all that stuff just seems extra showy here is all especially in a seven hour movie some folks want to know how all these bullets ricochet but i just want to laugh at the futility of those bullets fired upon the batman [Laughter] i'll spray paint your ass us tries this in front of like a billion cops and you'll find where i'm at how the could this have been what the riddler meant by bring him into the light how could he have known that this is how falcone would have been dealt with the bring him into the light clue is so innocuous and stupid that it could only be written for a movie that needs the hero to find the villain somehow when there aren't any other leads also can we rewind a bit when gordon and batman discovered those photos from the thumb drive why didn't anyone think hmm i wonder where those pictures were taken and start sniffing around the apartments across the street anyway we've already figured out that the detectives at gotham are disaster so i don't know why we expected anything more he's been here this whole time gordon asks this in an incredulous manner as if riddler being here this whole time is somehow weirder than the fact that nobody bothered to check this place i'm just gonna say it this movie has too much in common with the dark knight but filming yourself for the news was one thing but now we have the villain getting caught intentionally i'm not saying two movies can't have those two things in common or anything but damn please hands up but also they have one cop who said there was one witness who saw someone come down the fire escape after the shooting and go into the diner and from that point on the cops act with absolute certainty that this is the guy and yeah he is but i'm not sure you can arrest someone on the spot because of one witness's work love how the cops thought batman was in on it and we're even wary of him before the riddler killings and since all that nothing's really changed between batman and the cops except that batman got to and searched riddler's apartment before they did which doesn't look shady at all and now they're all just totally chill around the batman he's one of the boys in blue now he renewed his license in 2012 at age 25 that's a common age to have to renew your license but they renewed it for 17 more years the is up with that time length so he drew a question mark on the coffee phone that's creepy this is the most cartoonish thing in this whole movie and yeah i guess dude loves question marks but the score gets all freaky right here like i'm supposed to be disturbed by the fact that he drew a question mark in the phone and i'm not he's got thousands he scrawled all over rambling cipher's codes first zodiac and now seven pick an incredible david fincher movie you want to pay homage to and go with it i should see this god damn this movie just hit the i think you should come take a look at this trifecta he's wearing gloves and as you know we can let any into a crime scene as long as he's wearing gloves then today i saw it a single word on this ledger sitting on the desk beside me renewal the diary entry that gordon reads does not deserve a you should see this moment it has absolutely no revelations that we don't already know maybe this is all coming to an end what is the batman this is still not coming to an end anytime soon also roll credits riddler's asking for you the strange gotham protocol of taking criminals straight to an asylum continues in this movie why is he not down at the nearest precinct being booked and held until he can be arraigned look him saying this right after saying they'll remember both of us and saying it slowly like a reveal is a huge cheat he could simply have said the name bluntly and out of the blue and you could have still had batman wonder if riddler knew his real identity but you cheated you cheated and you had him say it in a way and at a time that makes it clear he knows who batman is because you somehow didn't trust paul daniel and robert pattinson to play the emotions on their own without the stylistic trickery also considering the resources riddler's been able to use throughout the movie it's kind of insane that he didn't figure it out one of the biggest issues i have with villains like this is they don't do basic things like i don't know find where the bat signal is being projected and scope out the area or see the numerous times when batman went to the club across the street and find a way to tail him to see where he goes after missions batman went to arkham to see riddler then went right back to riddler's apartment after a 10-minute conversation and all those cops are cleared out all the evidence collection and the thousands of notebooks and all the fingerprinting that's all done already is arkham in california as batman and the guard cop come to a silent agreement and batman goes back to detectiving is there a reason why he's using a flashlight and not just turning the lights on mitchell with a freaking carpet tool oh my uncle's up he's installing well my father was a piano mover so anyway this is some serious luck box here where batman goes back to investigate riddler's apartment and the one who's guarding the place just happens to know what the murder weapon is used for when it's not murdering people here's where ridler falls apart for me as a character he was taking down the corrupt city leaders because as an orphan he saw them basically steal money intended for orphans and turn it into a crime slush fund awesome kind of up but noble and intent but here at the end he's planned to drown as much of gotham as he can which turns him back into a cardboard cut out villain bent on maximum mayhem boo wow i guess edward knew he'd be taken to arkham and he'd get a windows seat to all the destruction he orchestrated he really did plan for everything didn't he because then it will be your turn you'll be there waiting because getting into madison square garden i mean gotham square garden will be so easy on election night there's no such thing as security law order or common sense the parts of the screen getting knocked down on this scoreboard show that these can't aim for i mean are they hitting everything except batman jesus christ even with good armor this kind of direct hit could easily kill a kidney or a spleen or worse but it's just a basic knockdown for our batman well you know it'll be handy right now that flying cape batman used earlier in the movie if you're gonna wait this long to take this shot i'm already bored everyone has time for this i fetch it oh man that stings i bet now batman knows exactly how james stewart felt in rope sent off here for the movies finally showing batman as a first responder a role he has often played in the comics it's weird to me that everyone's just gonna make the mayor-elect who just got shot a minute ago walk on our own power through this water who are you well that's the question isn't it i mean he's the joker movie calls him unseen arkham prisoner and at one point the imdb called him officer stanley merkel and it really up a casual reference i made in the green knight video before the batman came out anyway here's a sin for freaking out my reference because i am that petty not sure this film needed to end on a catwoman batman scene but regardless these motorcycles go on for some time pizza pizza thanks again to betterhelp for sponsoring this episode it's way too easy to forget to take care of your mental health if you're feeling like you need to speak to someone or you just need a mental health check-in betterhelp is an amazing online resource that allows you to do just that connect with a therapist in a safe and secure online environment and no this isn't self-help this is a real connection with an actual human being and you don't even have to put on outside pants to do it pajama bottoms or sweats are just fine with better help i know it can be easier to receive counseling without the need to go into an unfamiliar environment and it's not just structured appointments you can send messages to your therapist anytime check out information that's relevant to your needs and book your next appointment all on the same page better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed head to betterhelp.com cinemasins to answer a few questions and get paired up with a therapist within 24 hours get a whole 10 off your first month by clicking that link join over 2 million people taking charge of their mental health again that's better help help.com cinemasins i know what you are say it out loud vampire what makes you think i want to hear you talk tommy how's it peeping tommy that's a feed thing got me tommy tommy tommy tommy this isn't the worthington 1000 look at me forget okay don't drink it dude thank you donny i hope you have a good day hope you have a better week i hope your month is full of successful days and a lot of great ventures i hope you just come up brother i'll be home you're a spectacular [Applause] detective you're looking for me [Music] i'm superman

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,189,965

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, the batman, robert pattinson, dc cinematic universe, zoe kravitz, colin farrell, paul dano, paul dano riddler, jeffrey wright, john turturro, batman, the batman reaction, matt reeves, catwoman, penguin, batmobile, alfred, carmine falcone, moroni, riddler

Id: 5fVKpa3Bnhc

Length: 28min 14sec (1694 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 21 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/CDuddng]

“Murders, robberies, assault”

“Little Caesars” 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Coug-Ra]

Cedric Digory injects green PCP into his own leg

Grog: “I would like to rage.” pshhhht

[u/VHBlazer]

Been waiting for this one

[u/Iron_Wolf123]

Jeremy does the best Batman accent