Everything Wrong With The ENTIRE Die Hard Franchise

[Music] thank you want to know the secret to surviving air travel you walk around on the rug Barefoot and make fists with your toes how does that help you survive air travel when you're not even on a plane anymore or not even about to get on a plane kids take a trip back to the 80s when handguns were allowed on planes smoking was allowed in airports pregnant women were advised to drink by their female bosses you can handle a little sip that baby's ready to tend bar 14 year old teenagers were allowed to work as limo drivers and gas was [ __ ] 74 cents a gallon that baby's ready to tend bar wait what does that mean does it mean the baby's so close to being due it might as well be old enough to 10 bar like 21 or doesn't mean that this pregnant lady drank so much during the last nine months that the baby's already an alcoholic the party they're the only ones left in the building well then why did you make him type all that in the computer if you knew where he was headed obvious cocaine addict is obvious I have my eye in his private bathroom wait Ellis has a private bathroom yet he decides to do Coke in Holly's office John McLean will now provide 50 of the movie's dialogue with himself this [ __ ] needs a flashbang to take out one security guard this is the 1980s version of control alt delete bad guys have no time for stairs Bad Guy totally disregards the Pacific Bell employees only side and yet another stressful Air Adventure is magically vanquished seriously Carl could hook this whole thing up by doing this what would have happened if his brother didn't get his job done in time everyone ignores Hans and his gun-toting crew when they arrive even the ones right next to the elevator NBA have a 1970. how does he know all this [ __ ] about Takagi but not know what he looks like and if he knows what he looks like why does he bother asking which one is Takagi this is the longest [ __ ] one floor up elevator ride in the history of film if the missiles get fired from like the fourth floor then why do the bad guys waste time in the beginning lugging them all the way up to the 35th floor was it just so John could see them and know these guys are serious villains because I am interested in the 640 million dollars in negotiable bearer bonds holy [ __ ] nakatomi has 640 million in bare bonds after the fiscal responsibility Act was passed in 1982 after this Revelation I'm not sure John McLean is killing the right people in this movie I mean sure Hans Gruber and his crew were a bunch of murderous thieves but what kind of is nakatomi involved with he has cell phone coverage in an underground parking garage in the 1980s There are rules for policemen yeah that's what my captain keeps telling me what was John expecting what happened here sure there are rules for policemen as good old Tony says but the bad guy refuses to drop his weapon can't you just shoot his ass sure John it's you against a bunch of well-funded heavily armed bad guys rub it in that should make your job easier hey John now you don't have a machine gun ho ho ho John's shirt is most definitely still pretty white while he's in the air ducts but in the very next scene the shirt is either change color or we skipped over some kind of mud wrestling based deleted scene let's drive this car Stevie Wonder that's racist or something discount Huey Lewis top of USC what was your first big clue Al Notre Dame and USC playing on Christmas Eve in the 80s I realize movie terrorists are dummies but this is literally the least effective way to go about hitting your target with bullets I thought I told all of you I want radio silence until further I'm sorry can you actually interrupt someone else on a two-way radio Hans is probably right about all those pop culture Heroes except Rambo John McLean and Rambo had a falling out over money RV in the world of local news Edith is the worst insult imaginable three down four to go stop talking to me Theo is not performing a task that requires him to stop what he's doing in order to talk Holly makes an obvious look over to her family pictures Hans sees the one that's face down and somehow doesn't feel the need to look at it going in man that's crazy that could be over 30 hostages in there for all we know instead of making a few simple phone calls it would clear up the situation the LAPD God bless him decides to go with the kick ass first and then figure out what's going on method if Argyle can hear the bad guys on a regular old limousine CB why aren't the cops smart enough to be listening to the bad guys as well thereby finding out in advance what's in store for their sneaky breach team damadulli first a Nestle crunchbar are now a Mars bar how will we ever settle this war of the candy companies if you keep switching sides it's a panic fire they can't see anything shooting at the lights they were shooting at the lights why couldn't they hit them at first those things are huge yeah how in the world do we get into these glass doors if they're locked I mean we clearly need a blowtorch right the police have themselves an RV this RV takes so long to drive to the tower the bad guys can wheel a rocket launcher in place even fumble with it a bit assemble it and then fire it before they get there oh my toes [Music] didn't you already break the glass before these guys are professional they're motivated is this how Ellis negotiates multi-million dollar deals how is nakatomi not bankrupt the material this suit is made from why would McLean bother to give the play-by-play of his Twinkie meal over the radio this isn't the kind of coke that Ellis likes geez how much did that bad guy pour into the glass like a quarter of the can bad guys are dicks to dicks did John give Hans a gun with bullets in it of course he didn't he's John McClain so now that he's got confirmation that this is Hans Gruber why doesn't he blow him away right now follow the bloody Footprints out that exit door and shoot mcleaning the head baby the circuits that cannot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident wait a minute this whole plan relied on the FBI cutting the power and they had no backup plan in case they didn't and everyone who signed on to do this job with Hans was okay with that they got the universal terrorist Playbook and they're running it step by step this is a party line Not only would Powell not be allowed to tell touching stories about shooting children he also wouldn't be allowed to tell McLean Jackson about what the FBI are doing also why is Al disgusted with the FBI for this move does he know the terrorists are actually thieves and that they need the power to be turned off to open the safe when did Carl go from I'm Gonna Fill this guy with a hail of bullets as soon as possible because he killed my brother too but first I need to tell him how personal this is before I kill him these guys have worse aim than [ __ ] Stormtroopers so did some one get in the elevator go to the 30th floor and then explode when they got there oh there is not a [ __ ] ambulance in this truck it was filled with a bunch of dudes remember so this ambulance was supposedly gonna fit 13 terrorists and 640 million in Bear bonds and they were what gonna smash through the security gates after they blew up the roof remember Theo destroyed the computer that controlled the security gates they were either gonna have to smash through them or wait for someone to cut through them and they didn't think anyone would notice the ambulance that somehow got there before the gates were closed also to Parma yeah mother yeah let's review the movie's most quotable line and have a laugh about it during this situation what how did this [ __ ] get out of those chains hanging by his neck from a pretty decent height I would say Carl is Houdini but Carl is clearly better than Houdini ah main title my mother-in-law's car right she's already mad at me because I'm not authentic you've been a cop for like 15 years or more not only as being mad you're not a dentist being stupid and not worth your anxiety it's also a 15 year old issue also John goes with this mother-in-law Bulls before just showing his I'm also a cop badge also movie makes it seem like this guy is bad because he's giving McLean a ticket for parking here but John McLean and his thinks he can park anywhere he goddamn please his ass boys and girls this is called a pager and for about 15 years they were [ __ ] vital communication tools if you wanted to score wheat the studio said yes we must keep all the elements of the original die hard in the sequel right down to making it Christmas again regular shows in Indiana won't be able to tell this is Die Hard without the Christmas thank you Fred Leonard Atkins is in a warmer climb with a story that grows hotter by the minute a warmer climb this reporter's posture and speaking Cadence overwritten overacted that's the movie news difference your movie's primary villain is clearly not to be trifled with because he does his exercise naked also the nudity is a choice right I mean there's nothing inherent in the stretches and poses he's doing where nudity would actually make it better for his body right I'm trying to figure out if the movie just went with the nudity for their show the bad guy has creepy evidence or if pre-famed William Sadler had a must-have nudity clause in his contract really this is probably the most new to the infused expositional scene in all of booby history and oh look this news is extremely helpful in showing us that Esperanza and Stuart had dealings with each other in the past their next news story how to light up airport runways with fire when the power goes out could be helpful later you never know seriously guys don't [ __ ] with the man who has the fastest remote control quick draw in the entire world this guy means business y'all Steward in a sentiment timed their hotel room exits to coincide with other bad guys walking in the same direction so that it would look cooler and look more menacing let's be honest a few [ __ ] coordinated your watches that you should have then you'd have all come out of your room at once and not in this cinematically staggered manner I like how these [ __ ] are all in matching military style jackets marching in unison like soldiers and each carrying similarly suspicious Christmas presents yet to them they've planned the perfect cover and it works American Airlines of course this movie would find a way to put Holly on a plane so she can be a damsel in distress again and give John proper motivation to Die Hard isn't technology wonderful is that many screws it brings up technology merely as an excuse to pull out her taser on an airplane which yes we'll figure into the plot later and even in 1990 I can't believe she was allowed to have tried it on my little dog because I'm an [ __ ] [ __ ] you Granny I mean what the [ __ ] McLean just happens to bump into the main bad guy early in the movie because this action movie is the equivalent of your cousin's sloppy attempt at poetry and Dulles is a huge airport the odds these two would bump into each other are like Lottery winning levels well you look really familiar to me let's just pause for a second because just after this McLean Stewart interaction inside the airport we're going to cut to Stewart's men way outside the airport taking over the nearby Church they will use as their base for the entire movie and my question is why the [ __ ] is Carl Stewart in the airport at all I love how this tiny ass Church near the airport has a full-time night Watchman and that he's got all the snacks and drinks possible within an Arm's Reach we depose General Ramon Esperanto has just arrived under heavy guard there's no way this story would be this big of a deal and on the news constantly we're checking our equipment any problems with the condo would line in your backyard boobies will have you believe that people just accept any workers into a place even if they haven't called them or know of a problem this is buckwheat the clubhouse is open terrorists using Little Rascals names as call signs apparently Dulles not only has a huge Bank of modern day phones in one area but they also have old-timey phone booths still set up in another part of the airport for people who'd like to report on alcohol owns bootlegging trial also these [ __ ] who perfectly coordinated a hotel checkout March somehow still need an in-airport phone call to ensure all is well with their plan thankfully for this movie and intuition in General John sees dude remove his secret earpiece and sees other dude kick a mysterious package closer to the first dude I mean is McLean the most observant [ __ ] ever or what also okay so this movie which is telling me all the bad guys were in the same Hotel earlier still has one bad guy suspiciously pass a package to another at the airport for some reason probably so McLean could see it which was kind of them Jon sees this [ __ ] and later follows him into the baggage room and if not for this huge leap in logic by John after a hugely convenient I think that guy a suspicious moment the rest of this movie couldn't happen got a key for this door yeah why because I want you to open it up McLean thinks that just by asking for a key people should just hand that [ __ ] over he looks annoyed he even has to pull out his badge for this the bad guys can somehow hijack an entire Airport from a remote location but needed to put some sort of signal in the luggage area in order to tap into the control tower Communications you know because this movie needed a quick action scene and a few crumbs of evidence from McLean to follow McLean regular cop will now defeat this special forces ninja Guy this is a tag team um yeah you attack two bad guys at once the probability is that the two bad guys will fight you at the same time your action movie one-liner is dumber than usual convenient abandon card of luggage is abandoned convenient abandoned male bikes are male bikes sure he tackled the bad guy but how many of these bags ultimately got lost I'm guessing half of them all you do is shut me back here into this cattle car somehow Thornburg is just now being told to leave first class even though this plane supposedly lands in 30 minutes or so also the odds that this news guy from the first movie in McLean's wife both of whom were La natives last we saw them would be on the exact same plane approaching DC as some [ __ ] [ __ ] also this is the first time they've noticed each other even though they were probably in the same waiting area to get on the plane and lightly past each other during the boarding of the plane I'm not allowed within 50 feet of him 50 yards so by keeping me in this section you are violating a court order actually [ __ ] it would be in violation anywhere on this plane Honestly though it's more of a violation of our suspension of disbelief than a restraining order to steal this area off for Christ heads up to the captain the only reason this movie is possible is because the cops at Dulles are the worst cops in human history you fail me again and the Chamber won't be empty seriously can someone explain the bad guy kills his henchmen because they failed him even if something completely unexpected came up movie Trope is it to show that the guy is so determined and evil that he's determined to be evil yeah yeah I know who you are you're the [ __ ] that just broke seven FAA McLean actually had to head to your cops to bring him here despite breaking all those rules also overly biased against John Airport cop boss is overly biased against John I got a [ __ ] reindeer flying in here from the [ __ ] and petting zoo but John McLean he's got a little problem so your reindeer from the petting zoo trumps the dead guy in the luggage area yeah yeah you told me thing it might make me want to believe you when something like this goes down but I'd much rather be the black hole that nearly drags this movie into unwatchability what sets off the metal detectives first letting your ass in your brains but letting his ass of course I need to borrow this and this bring it right back which just happened to be within reaching distance and also I'm an [ __ ] after getting bitched out by the airport police chief and then running to an airline terminal McLean still has enough time to catch up to the dudes Wheeling away the body of the guy he shot in the baggage room if he finds a way to get Al Powell back into the action complete with a comical pile of Twinkies now you're not pissing in somebody's pool are you yeah and I'm fresh out of chlorine so many questions if you're pissing in somebody's pool would you even bother with the chlorine and would it help and the [ __ ] say I close in about an hour maybe we can go get a drink airport clerk is instantly smitten with John McLean because he stole her ink pad and paper earlier and somehow she didn't see the wedding ring that John so proudly displays after this or did she it's the facts man hardy har hilarious pun is hilarious McLean finds his way into the control tower because yeah I guess should just accept this at this point La Mr Trudeau don't mean that's what I said about my last cholesterol test who wrote this looking looking oh same guy who wrote the first Die Hard and some other guy I'm gonna blame the other guy whose credits include Bad Boys money train and the movie that forced Gene Hackman into retirement welcome to Moose poor for all the kinds of silly that's in this movie looks cool for a movie but what the [ __ ] is he blow torching on this electrical board I mean burning wires might make a break but it won't make any work this is the resume of a professional mercenary you got the world's biggest drug dealer on his way here now what do you need a slide rule to figure this out my brain is still stuck on that lead in your ass or in your brains line just using a slide rule to figure out an airport mystery literally physically hurt my brain hey pal you're the one that gave us that [ __ ] body remember that Dennis Franz NYPD Blue audition tape ladies and gentlemen after that those planes low on fuel aren't going to be circling they're going to be dropping on the White House Long great line but dolas is more than an hour outside of the DC Metro area so those planes will be dropping on Virginia and not much else foreign military one now I'm sure you gentlemen are well well aware of the unique nature if it wasn't clear before the circumstances for the plot of this movie are incredible a high-profile drug lord is getting sent to the U.S and it's all over the news but Douglas didn't beef up their security at all in fact it's absolutely stunning there isn't a military presence around the airport with this kind of prisoner Landing also the US decided you know what let's send this guy on Christmas one of the busiest travel days of the year and send him to Dulles and not some private airstrip where we can take care of it Jesus hey guys want to go to Dulles and tour the control tower and just let you walk in and wander around apparently seriously don't try this on your next trip to Washington also why does this reporter think she's going to get anything from these people by doing the job this way no guts no glory sure but actually thought this was a good idea Lobby security come in the film shows two guys here working Lobby security but given this movie's track record they should either be dead or passed out drunk considering their level of aptitude so far come on Mclean just a few words okay there's a few words [ __ ] off thanks but I already got that from Colonel Stewart actually he said and you but this franchise has never been good about remembering stuff like that another basement another elevator for the same should happen to the same guy twice Studio note that someone passed around when the idea of Die Hard 2 came up accidentally got into the screenplay also did you say another basement the [ __ ] you mean by that you spent zero time last movie in a basement elevator sure but basement [ __ ] you also how did he make it to the basement by crawling through the ceiling of an elevator that went to the top of a control tower I guess the movie just wants John to be in whatever place he needs to be whenever it calls for it and just forgets how it's possible thank God for this homeless [ __ ] living and working beneath the airport who has access to Blueprints and everything John needs we are experiencing some technical problems here even if Trudeau isn't allowed to tell the pilots to divert I am shocked there isn't a secret code or special message they can send to tell the pilots to fly away all flights moved to delayed and yet this mass of people somehow doesn't Riot again John finds human-sized ventilation shafts where he can travel secretly it's [ __ ] Christmas but none of the SWAT guys or the radio guys stopped to wonder why there are a few workers here painting the annex quite honestly guys the shootout is so poorly constructed I'm not sure who the bad guys are none of these guys are characters I did see Robert Patrick a minute ago and I know he's a bad guy because it's a movie but in 1990 not even Robert Patrick knew who that was also if this was supposed to be a SWAT team they're the worst SWAT team ever but that's pretty par for the course in this movie for some reason the T-1000 doesn't shoot this guy immediately Jesus how high a jump what's that and how the [ __ ] is McLean uninjured by it one of the help wanted ads for this movie read one plastic dummy with many years of scaffolding collapsing experience looking real optional this guy just loaded this gun but of course it jams when he has a chance to kill McLean I'm gonna kick your and instead of just picking up some dead dude's gun he decides I'll just kick his ass [Applause] why didn't the bad guys just do this in the first place you need to tell me that the whole reason they didn't blow it up right away was so they could bait a SWAT team to come here just so they could kill them to one end if this SWAT team is killed surely another one would be on its way right Lorenzo sacrifices best man make you waste your time and we don't have well there's the explanation but considering you guys are operating from a secret location with a number of ex-military guys at your disposal it's a total waste and plus they actually gave credit to this dumb airport that someone would actually think of the new antenna array and that Lorenzo would send a SWAT team there that recalibrate sea level recalibrate sea level don't the planes have independent meters and gauges that are not Reliant upon control Towers to determine how far they are up in the air plane totally explodes after crashing because movie John McLean assists the damage from the comfort of a studio in its blue screen that is your name Deck The Reunion of Holly and Thornburg is really nothing but Holly insulting this guy which is great I guess if you feel like Thornbird needs to be made fun of some more but Jesus how much abuse does William Atherton the actor have to put up with after these movies and Ghostbusters meanwhile despite the fact that only one Runway has been closed dude this woman is either a terrible reporter or a terrible actress I'm not comfortable picking between the two Dino my get ready for some good times this guy is in on it and evil my question is how did the evil planners know for a fact this guy's Squad will be called here I mean [ __ ] everything depends on it but what if the general in charge decides okay let's send in this new SEAL Team Six and see what they're made of in Colonel Stewart one of your men no not anymore he's not yeah but it's a conflict of interest I mean things just get better or worse Trudeau doesn't answer but the movie's editing does what about the earphone idea there's 18 planes up there only five of them have those phones we go through the three of them and can't those three planes now communicate to the other planes through their radios hell I know they can because later the pilots of Holly's playing say this attention all air traffic on this frequency in Dulles areas so who says that radio signal has to just beep right we switch the frequency from the tower over the one in the beacon we pump up the wattage and we can talk to our place and those bastards who did this we'll never know and that was the Maple Street acting troop doing their favorite scene from Die Hard 2. why is this military guy giving Intel to Mclean after McLean's already been banned from the investigation are they old army buddies this is the only channel available to us bad guys who thought of everything somehow didn't plan for this outer marker Beacon Bowl thankfully thornburg's AV guy actually kept listening to the outer Beacon for hours in order to discover this message on Runway one five repeat one five this is country Eduardo instructions we are to land at Runway 1-0 if you have control over the entire airport then why bother changing the runway and potentially tipping off the pilots that something isn't right this aircraft carrying an international terrorist doesn't have any questions for Dulles Tower about the dozen of other aircraft on its radar currently circling the airport neither of these Pilots is in on the plan and Esperanza has to take out a guard to get to this point so what would have happened if he wasn't guarded by someone stupid I guess the bad guys could overpower three people once they land but it seems kind of like Esperanza absolutely needed to get free for this plan to work in fact seeing this sequence of events it almost seems like this plan would have gone better if he hadn't freed himself try to play don't worry about it it's not your problem okay so why didn't he just go ahead and do this then if he can fly the plane these [ __ ] were able to sneak a radio onto this plane which is coming from an entirely different country and they were able to make sure Grand Splatoon were the First Responders when Dulles called the Army for help but apparently it didn't have the power to get their own pilots on this thing in the first place I've lost copy pressure because I shot the pilot and co-pilot and in doing so shot out the window it takes entirely too long for this plane to crush jump in fact I think this is where Fast 6 got its runway length ideas bad guys just start spraying machine gun fire well before the recently landed General is out of the doorway also McLean is standing in the doorway of the airplane basically making himself the easiest Target but none of these guys with machine guns can hit him two months that's all to orchestrate a complete takeover of Dulles and have almost everything fall your way the plane somehow survives this barrage bullets then they decide to throw grenades into the cockpit which gives McLean some idea that he needs to get the [ __ ] out of there they could have simply left them right outside the cockpit door and it would have accomplished everything but everyone is dumb these grenades take so long to blow McLean is able able to stupidly look at them for a long time get the idea to eject to strap himself in and eject before they blow up these guys are running out of gas but are now getting messages from Barnes in the tower who is using the beacon and it's impossible for the bad guys to crash planes anymore so why can't they somehow get these guys to land already is it really just Runway lights at this point can't they line up a whole bunch of emergency vehicles on the runway and is it possible Stewart forgot to turn off the lights he turned on for Esperanza a cabin attendants are turning on local Washington broadcasting the sound is on channel 3. look I know don't listen telling anyone anything but considering that a terrorist drug lord is being sent to Dulles and there have been several major explosions on the runways and there's a massive amount of press here how is there no news about Dulles on the TV right now I mean no one saw that or heard it come here let me show you something you better come take a look at this cliche also this guy figured out where the terrorists are but because of this [ __ ] up bureaucracy of an airport he only feels comfortable sharing it with McLean was basically the Antichrist around here this is our last possibility which means it'll be the one basic movie math tells me so could be a Sentry and it could just be out for a walk and why is he going over his own foot steps you can tell that from here [Music] most inopportune phone call ever though Leo in The Departed would beg to differ code red said rep positive ID on Stewart's location dumbass Lorenzo doesn't ask how Grant heard that this was Stewart's location when he couldn't possibly have heard anything on this phone call also this plan requires that someone figure out that they're in that church if it's not for Barnes and McLean there's no way this part of the plan happens unless Grant somehow was planning to say hmm I've just got an amazing hunch where the bad guys are to the church another problem no problem General doesn't Esperanza know the plan doesn't he know the army guys out there are on his team this random truck is driving around in the middle of nowhere and came out of nowhere and I'm pretty sure it's the truck where this screenplay was written Colonel you're quite capable of confirming it yourself Grant still feels the need to prove he's a good guy to anyone listening to this broadcast for some reason this recorder will play audio over an air phone and it will have broadcast quality when it's played on the news grants boys are going to kill that son of a [ __ ] and get it from us it's gonna do that they're gonna get on the same goddamn plane with him clean once again tries to make it sound like everyone knows the information he has and starts making wild accusations without presenting the evidence I'm adding 10 cents for this because it may be the most Reckless stupid thing I've ever seen in a movie McLean thinks that all the cops here will instantly recognize that he's shooting blanks and won't gun him down immediately for doing this simple English could have solved this problem McLean goes with the ultra dumb Solution by the way it feels like this is exactly the reason why a news outfit wouldn't just broadcast thornberg's message at the drop of a hat without figuring out the situation first Lorenzo is able to drive this car immediately out of his parking spot despite the fact that there are thousands of [ __ ] escaping the airport right now hi I'm sorry there's just simply no way your voice would carry over this mob scene premature celebration also this is very interesting even though about seven of their guys died they filled every one of these seats in this getaway plane pretty goddamn unbelievable John would be excellent at CinemaSins you just get us in the air General you're the only man who can do it but why you got 20 people on this Mission and nobody who could fly just in case McLean and Grant fight on top of a wing of a moving airplane and I'm just sitting here pondering what a dick physics is in almost every situation except this one nothing on this plane tells the guy the fuel dump was released or that he's losing massive amounts of fuel that's not how gas trails and fireworks just in time I guess the [ __ ] plane Holly was on decided to emergency land like 10 minutes ago right look hey I see it I see it luckily this plane was headed straight for this very Runway I'm no flight expert but three planes all landing on the same Runway right after another one just landed and another one on fire seems like a bad idea to me Holly is John McLean's Adrian and apparently necessary because he did this in the first movie oh come on it's only been two Christmases in a row that's a small sample size you get this parking ticket in front of my airport yeah ah what the hell sure you tore up the ticket but the car was towed somewhere and that's the worst part of it right 40 seconds of logos which if you adjust the inflation from 1995 is like a minute and six seconds of logos who the hell would want to blow up a department store do you ever see a woman as a shoe sale people are dead but woman missing a shoe sale joke makes it all worth it Walter yeah I think you better take this this is the mid 90s phone version of the better come take a look at this cliche Simon Says Lieutenant McLean is to go to the corner of 138th Street on Amsterdam what if he makes this call but last night John McLean was killed in a freak gasoline fight accident how does he Heist then does he mutter and stammer oh um I mean is there a lieutenant Smith there an improvise he's after the Gold after all right the toying with McLean is so important to his plan and yet he didn't know before today that McLean had been suspended so this dude planned 100 details down to the millimeter but left McLean's involvement up to chance which is symbols but you better find out what Rocky's under and kick it over holy that was super easy 14 dump trucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island check out 14 stolen dump trucks Rick yeah 69.91 every week holy expositionally convenient foreshadowing numbers hey what was the lottery number last night lottery number was four six six seven chances of winning this Lottery almost negates it being a lottery right after cops in New York City edges and according to this Lottery's weirdly diminutive number system at least 100 cops are millionaires by now we're gonna drop back to 128th Street 10 blocks oh come on Bruce we know you can live with at least 16 blocks if we don't do what this guy says he's going to blow up another public why me what has he got to do with me I have no idea police work cannot be this way this movie is superbly shot well paced and entertaining but it's still a stupid script he was dead three minutes ago but sure let's act like people are just honking at this racist [ __ ] and not acting on it Uncle you better come look at this inside 10 minutes this movie has its second come take a look at this cliche I know Simon wants to play with John McLean because of something something he's Hans gruber's brother but did he have to play a game this [ __ ] racist and what if he dies then all the other games he's set up explicitly for McLean later in the movie are gonna be played by I don't know Dave Bautista probably who sees that racist sign and thinks I am definitely the guy to go defuse this and call him hire them down by my lonesome it is impossible that nobody on these steps has seen McLean and his kill me sign yet what the hell is this cab do you going this close to the curb since obviously nobody was hailing it doesn't really matter it's the most fortuitous cab that has ever existed in New York City I'm not who knows a lot about bombs we found this in a playground professional very cool hold the [ __ ] up Drew Carey you found that in a playground what playground why is the finding of this device in its location immediately yada yada just so we can show off what the bomb construction is oh I figured it out also why was anybody snooping around on a playground and why was there explosive liquid there later on in the movie John and Zeus will need to solve a water puzzle in a playground with a bomb and a briefcase but the bomb arms itself once the case is open here this is just a random briefcase with no purpose except to explain that the bad guys are using explosive liquid and it serves as a way to get Zeus into the action later either one by itself you got nothing but mix them yeah allow me to demonstrate in the middle of the captain's office this highly dangerous explosive what I'm about to do is very unscientific and I have no way of knowing what will happen but it will be very cool and explain how dangerous it is also all he gets is a brief yelling he's not suspended or written up or any kind of otherwise reprimanded for this dangerous stunt that could have killed someone his own wife wants nothing to do with him and he's about two steps shy of becoming a full-blown alcoholic Jesus why does Walter tell Simon this even if it is to make him think that Jon isn't special does he think that Simon will drop his Vendetta against McLean because of it 72nd Street Subway pay phone 15 minutes McLean answers Samaritan why does Simon need Zeus on this if the whole thing is about getting revenge on Mclean what purpose can he serve in the grand scheme of things if you're competent in the least you found the briefcase they found it in some playground but I'm still waiting for someone to tell me how or why or what the clue was they saw because I know none of that exists in this [ __ ] early warning bomb briefcase is some [ __ ] plot driven [ __ ] conjured up out of thin air well I'm not going anywhere Simon says you gotta go I'm wondering what a police department really put a citizen in danger like this even if they thought a Madman was going to bomb something if they didn't Charlie what'd you find that bomb Chinatown so the point of this is McLean's going to lie to Zeus about finding it in Harlem so that he'll agree to come along but I'm still wondering why the bomb was found in Chinatown since Simon has no plans to set up there and while it was just lying around this guy didn't care about skin color even if you do of all the things that DieHard franchise didn't need it's the racism angle and also I antagonize Zeus any further when you need him he's working on a nice fat suspension smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo get it this one movie with these two actors referenced that other movie with these two actors and it was righteous no are you not bathed and righteous dude bro Vibes of movie trivia awesomeness they made it to the phone but there's a problem camera points to a paper own area where there are at least three pay phones man two of them are open but they're worried about this lady who was not even pictured in that shot either way there are several pay phones open so how do they know they need just this one all Simon said was 72nd Street Subway Payphone as I was going to some Dives I met a man with seven wide I don't know how the [ __ ] Zeus hears this especially since John is hogging most of the earpiece and considering how fast Simon is talking the answer's not one guy two dollar one five five zero zero zero one how the [ __ ] did Simon get a phone number that ended in zero zero zero one especially since it's got that classic movie 555 designation and apparently there are only 999 people in New York use any means of travel other than civilian train attempt to evacuate the subway I blows a train weird he didn't say not to call other cops to board the three train and try to find the explosive this is important since Simon needs the bomb to explode close to Wall Street if it blows up earlier his plan is over having driven through New York City on a number of occasions let me tell you that this move John just did is [ __ ] impossible unless the cars know you're coming and make a perfect space for you to go through I didn't say Park Drive I said through the park this is some classic New York City movable right here they're trying to get to Wall Street which is on the southern tip of Manhattan John thinks the park is the fastest way South but the south end of the park ends up at 59th Street far from their destination the amount of time saved here is negligible especially since they started at 72nd Street a mere 13 blocks away this cab survived this and luckily doesn't kill anybody I got two officers down at the corner of 14th Street and 9th Avenue need an ambulance over was that honestly easier than just him calling his boss who knows what's up and asking for a fire truck New Yorkers continue to be insanely helpful as McLean drives across streets with few traffic on them not only that he's somehow going to time an ambulance exactly so that he can follow it all the way to 14th Street Wall Street we go to follow them all the way wrong south of 14th Street's a different hospital St Luke's John called an ambulance that hey would go as far as 14th Street and B would be summoned close to where they're currently driving and he picked one that would be coming from Roosevelt Hospital because they were the closest but he claims that the only ambulances that would go further would come from St Luke's but this is confusing because St Luke's and Roosevelt are the same Hospital unless he's talking about Mount Sinai St Luke's which is much further north it makes no sense that they would go farther south than Roosevelt's ambulances it's a bad idea how are we even certain this is the same three train that has the bomb on it wouldn't there be multiple three trains running right now this dude is so oblivious to his surroundings he doesn't even see that Zeus nearly hit that truck and wasn't stopping for him what you don't like white people like for real this just doesn't need it sure a stupid [ __ ] is going to get somewhat of a comeuppance after Zeus gives him the ride from hell but it's like the screenwriters were writing a story about racism and decided to drop a Die Hard into the middle of it I have to answer that just shut up and get him in the ass he goes on to answer the phone and not get shot and that is nothing short of a [ __ ] miracle the rules applied to both of you you were not clear on that man you're moving the goal post now and yes he has to set off the bomb in order for the rest of his plan to happen but he's still moving the goal posts this will be the second bomb to explode in New York on the same day and yet everything will move along as normal like this isn't a terrorist act the idea that government building schools and other places aren't shut down after this is ludicrous but they'll remain open for continued plot conflicts you got a lot of cuts and bruises a couple concussions some old guys pacemaker stopped in a pregnant girl's water broke and that's all that's all not one person died that's so unbelievable you might be living in The Matrix the train got blown up onto the platform and took out columns and oh [ __ ] you here's 10 sins for this crap what are the odds of us making it down here on time that's it movie tells you what complete and utter nonsense it was that they made it only to use it to show how smart McLean is and figuring out that the bomb was going to go off no matter what sweeping that utter in total nonsense under the rock the name Gruber mean anything to you lieutenant why did the FBI guys wait to reveal this is it so they could expose it to the audience and build up the dramatic tension that thing in the building in L.A I was there but uh I was playing someone else if you attempt to evacuate schools the bomb will be detonated by radio and gentlemen someone will be watching you just said there are over 1400 schools in New York City the fact that they believe you is grade A [ __ ] Jeremy Irons is such a terrific bad guy listen to that voice churn through Hook Line and Sinker and tell me you wouldn't listen to this man read the phone book but yeah I think even Simon is surprised that the entire NYPD decides to go searching for a bomb that will blow in three hours in one of the over 1400 schools in New York this feels like a situation where they'd call the principles and they'd get the entire staff at each school to search for something unusual rather than dedicating 100 of their resources to an impossible search some resources could be used to figure out what the hell Simon might be planning other than setting off a bomb at a school no all calls will be coming through this switchboard and I'm gonna marry Donald Trump movie makes me consider a world where Donald Trump marries Wanda Shepard changing history to a degree that is so fantastic that I don't ever want to leave okay so here's Matthias getting on one of the dump trucks and here's Simon posing as a city engineer but didn't won't just see these two guys pictures in the FBI fan because he was there during that scene or did they just show those pictures to Mclean either way it's massively sinful and I won't have it foreign I'd argue sweat played a part and it was all an accident but you definitely did not throw him God damn walk that ramp had to hitch a ride not lazy are you our alarms are Sonic and seismic two things which I'm afraid do not react well to explosions this is exactly why it's nearly impossible to believe that areas of Interest like the Federal Reserve aren't protected more in this movie after a bomb goes off near Wall Street hey Captain you want to come down here and take a look at this you better come take a look at this cliche again wow she must really love blood otherwise this is needlessly messy time wasting inefficient and stupid sending the fact that no one saw or found this briefcase before now hit the jugs multiple choice get the jugs is a my high school sexual Pursuits summed up in a succinct phrase B the name of a Police Undercover operation targeting fans of the Insane Clown Posse see the name of a spicy Albanian Cola drink or D the title of a series of x-rated Archie Comics fan fiction why are you gonna call me [ __ ] how's that first off movie and our characters in a time sensitive task have time for this second off I've always hated this exchange because John is clearly about to call Zeus a [ __ ] Zeus incorrectly deduces a racial slur despite the evidence and Jon says that he was going to call him an [ __ ] which is also wrong you got some problem because I'm white Zeus skip exactly two gallons in here right movie totally skipped some steps when it comes to how they got exactly two gallons in the three gallon jug and while I know how they did it by doing my own thinking it's unsatisfying and geez why'd they do it this way like any movie with puzzles as a secondary distraction they don't bother to show us the steps in the thought process and spent more time on a race argument than the puzzle itself well I think McLean is smart in his own way he's shown no capacity to do a puzzle like this better than Zeus can so this is clearly a moment in the script where someone said John's got to be able to do at least one of these so that he looks smart [Music] somehow there's still one dump truck full of gold that nearly runs over McLean so that he can figure out yet another clue later we see all the dump trucks in a neat line going down the FDR this Lone Wolf is still playing catch-up because it's important to the plot here's the point where I don't understand why they don't kill McLean right now they have complete control of the Federal Reserve and nobody who matters is around to witness a murder and then during an entire elevator ride they don't kill him also why is there anyone still here but gold is gone shouldn't they be gone too what do you think of this heat this light in the air Indian summer huh yeah it feels like it's gonna rain like dogs and cats later but it seems like they always end up riding the lift holy [ __ ] this guy made three verbal I'm not American mistakes in a matter of 20 seconds are we sure these guys are as well trained as we were told sure is a good thing they talked about the lottery numbers and Cops playing their badges earlier huh and Walsh was very particular about seeing what his badge number was very fortunate what the [ __ ] is he doing McLean's a cop it's in his nature to investigate Zeus has been trying to get out of this situation all movie long so him strolling down here shouting does not compute if it's straight and metal it can start a car down in McLean FDR check out the big ass side on Zeus also how are these trucks still in a place where they can see them I know the traffic is bad today but these trucks would be long gone McLean almost got hit by one of those trucks seven minutes ago in real time in movie time that's like 14 years built for economy not speed you guys stole a [ __ ] Hugo in the epicenter of Wall Street how were there no better options what was a Hugo driver doing down there Dove trucks on the FBI and yet the dump trucks are on the FDR how did they get away with that did they pay somebody off did they kill some people who knows it doesn't matter hi it's Elvis Duran you're on the air what's up first of all I just want to tell you what a great show you got holy [ __ ] Simon called a radio station and immediately got his calling without a screener or anything some people call radio stations and wait an hour or more to get home with the host down there one [ __ ] dump truck they go on a detour to track down one truck as if Simon's men took all the dump trucks in all the world and any dump truck you see driving around must be part of the Federal Reserve Heist and McLean does this super dangerous maneuver where both of them could have been killed just to track this down also this scene is all the due to logic and Common Sense this doesn't even happen in Grand Theft Auto you are dead you're both dead way up to the Catskill Mountains this one dump truck they tracked down just so happens to lead to a huge piece of Simon's plan could have been a dump truck going to any construction site in all of New York but luckily for John this becomes a major crack in the case holy sh McLean kills these guys from behind before visually confirming they were part of Simon's crew like this is [ __ ] murder man I'm pretty sure nobody called ahead of time to allow Zeus in the park so I'm sure you can just walk into Yankee Stadium without a ticket and hang out while they prepare the field why not it's open for [ __ ] everybody you want to pose Noob with Derek Jeter he's available for that noon to two on Tuesdays this movie came out 10 days before his debut but that's how dedicated he was to the fans moving massively glosses over how easy it is for German terrorists with a sniper rifle to get access to a VIP booth in Yankee Stadium on a non-game day you got hear this he got here fast I thought he was going to call cop but he somehow found him in person and ran there and lightning fast time Christ that's where he wants to be New York City as hell but it also wishes geography wasn't a thing take a look at this generator said this one was delivered this morning about 10 30 right this is exactly why simple phone calls to the schools would have worked a lot better than the book if they were doing call the schools and ask the staff about unusual deliveries instead of searching every school hoping to find a bomb John's able to spin this truck around and go forward like a professional dump truck driver just like they taught him at the Academy also considering the spin took three cuts to show I'm just gonna take a wild guess and say that maneuver is bull this is the most offensive coincidence in all of film history right here this noise write better screenplays where are these gunshots even coming from I guess we're not supposed to think too deeply about it but this seems to say that the bad guys followed Zeus and either decided to wait until this moment to start shooting which means they're horrible shots or they are shooting wildly from the road and are super undisciplined a red sedan will now crash into the bad guy's truck but in the next shot it will become a gray Buick because editing is hard when you only have so many shots to work with but how did you tell me before of course he put the bomb over that school how would he do that make sure you got your complete attention first of all yes why the [ __ ] did Zeus not mention his nephews going to Chester A Arthur Elementary even if he didn't know he was the 21st president second of all do we ever figure out completely why Simon wanted Zeus to participate in these games so much there is no end game to that sure is awesome that the crazy traffic on this road manages to give McLean a huge amount of space to perform this maneuver without getting in the way also after this everybody keeps going like it's nothing just a typical everyday traffic accident that nobody needs to slow down for this guy is checking for stray students in the building but takes the time to lock each classroom after half acidly examining it for kids this leads to kids being locked in here and nearly dying but it's also a super inefficient way to check for stray kids since times of the essence even if you're on a Mad Dash to find a terrorist bomber guy stopping your car on a busy Bridge has got to be one of the most dickheaded things you can do especially since there's no reason to do it unless you know you're about to pull off some insane stunt how about the Coast Guard take him an hour to get here even when New York City should be on high alert after two bombings I'm no expert in these matters but I can call both on this right the only henchman that had noticed them was sliced in half by the Dodge Ram winch cable that's convenience you just won't get with a Ford a gun is louder than this but not by that much my point is that on a ship this big and metal someone should be hearing this door murder as I watched John Meandering through the ship then cut to a shot of Zeus Meandering through the ship I remember how John said don't be a hero if you find him come get me and I'm wondering how the [ __ ] Zeus is supposed to find John if they're both Meandering around this giant ass boat God take safe to catch up this is 100 on Mclean also the director said Jeremy you're German so instead of an apple let's have your character eat a hard-boiled egg it'll make you look like even more of an [ __ ] these cops out here presumably are hurting or giving the kids directions but honestly they're just in the [ __ ] way man what last we saw this fight German dude had beaten John and John managed to trip him when we come back to John not only having the upper hand but hits him three times with a chain and guy is out and John starts stealing watches the hell how'd she get those two guys up there we saw that thing 30 seconds ago and I didn't see any [ __ ] ladders got any aspirins again with the aspirins I'm pretty sure McLean down about 25 aspirins in this movie already but now he gets Simon who suffers from migraines and needs them to throw a bottle important to the plot at John because shrug how about a splinter of that cable I slid down that might work he splinter from a cable and he's going to unlock some handcuffs sure the idea that it could unlock these handcuffs almost makes me forget about the convenience of this splitter's availability I'm surprised anybody to stay with you long enough to be married Cosmic skip you gotta love how McLean manages to do a bunch of random bang and gets just enough explosive to break Zeus's cuffs and manages to break them without blowing up Zeus's hands Zeus is only mildly hurt did I say they wouldn't be another survives this scene I was lying John notices this time tiny writing on the bottom of the bottle that the movie itself needs to zoom and cut Zoom for us to read I swear I've never seen so much Lucky in my life outside of a Harry Potter movie it's further crazy that Simon bought his aspirin here of all places I guess before he went to New York to carry out his plan and that John knew that it was a truck stop in Quebec this also opens up all sorts of jurisdictional arguments like can the NYPD just fly into Canada to arrest or kill Suspects I think she pissed at you mcglay why the hell would they have brought this dude Along on this bust the explanation the movie wants to give is that time was of the essence and this isn't ultimately even a police Chopper it's a medical Chopper but I still think the civilian with the gunshot wound gets left behind once they decide to use this Chopper in a raid Simon can't hit anything despite being a highly trained soldier does anybody in a helicopter ever hit anything Simon has him he has him but instead he waits while Jon figures out a solution continues to wait while John says say hello to your brother and I've never seen a villain more deserving of death because of his procrastination since we find out all these people were recruited to do some pretty serious hacking would this guy really be in a library doing this the idea that he wouldn't have a setup at his house with 17 different vpns pinging off each other was ludicrous if they watched hackers they'd save time there's a formula to it a very simple formula what about my account delivering and this guy doesn't have any headphones or earbud so he's having this conversation with Maggie Q in a public place through computer speakers are you have a sexy voice yeah is there anything else I can do for you to you hacker charm the cinematographer swore they had enough computer footage at the beginning of the movie but the director insisted I'm starving and the only thing that can satisfy this appetite is more keyboard This will be another of these computer movies showing that by hitting a couple keys and enter you can control whatever the [ __ ] you want not saying this can't be done but I am saying they never show us enough to make me believe it can be done so the holiday weekend we're short staffed as it is I guess the filmmakers wanted this movie to tie into a holiday to fit with the tradition of the first two but trust me this movie has Jack to do with the Fourth of July seriously there's no decorations fireworks Bros drinking patriotic Bud Lights or anything you told this jerk off I was dead and thus Begins the barrage of PG-13 insults because this franchise didn't have the Gusto to continue the trend of the ultra successful previous R-rated movies and I feel like I'm watching a neutered dog trying to lick his Phantom balls why'd it take so long to get Matt's explosive all set up when we saw the other hackers on Maggie Q's manifest they were dropping like flies within short order did they want to take it easy on him are they big Jeepers Creepers fans don't be damn guys how long do you give a Dude to hit the delete button you just armed like 20 seconds ago and you have no clue that McLean is showing up at the front door the limited edition numbskull that doesn't know anything about Priceless artifact immediately breaks that artifact within seconds of touching a cliche this trained assassin with this badass sniper rifle misses a wide open shot at Matt through a clear ass window okay look I'll suspend disbelief for an action movie and pretend Jon can blow this thing by shooting at it but it blows this [ __ ] out the window and that I cannot abide if John McLean were as smart as Indiana Jones he'd be hiding inside that this is a pretty big apartment complex but no one hears all this commotion this unit has been a war zone for the last several minutes damn those little bearing walls in Camden are no joke the building codes in New Jersey must be insane if this [ __ ] is this athletic why wasn't he on the Strike Team instead of poorly sniping from the garage not for a long time no kidding the last time John McLean was offering Jeremy Irons Justin long was probably still in high school so remind me why we're dragging this dude back into a franchise that relied on youthful exuberance again more hot typing action and you know just because you're with street lights doesn't mean you just roll through those intersections with impunity I'm sure these cab drivers are versed in the DC traffic well enough to be able to look both ways at least out of the side of their eyes before pulling in front of a careening huge ass garbage truck I mean seriously this [ __ ] in New York just turned left into a bus that was already in an intersection I understand this malfeasance being effective on highways when people are going fast but in high traffic areas where everyone's moving at a snail's pace how can they cause this much Havoc helicopter flies over DC airspace with obvious gun being obvious on 4th of July weekend and no one notices this might be the most unbelievable scene in the movie and this is a movie where a character takes out a helicopter with a cop car when have you ever seen anyone get out of their cars around a traffic jam especially on Moss like this in reality at least 85 percent of these people would still be in their vehicles honking into the void like any other red-blooded American get your bag heck what hack boy or an attack this is just now occurring to him they got hacked like hours ago and he was well aware of that that's the anthrax Salon the anthrax alarm sweet I hope they start blasting cuts from sound white noise or we've come for you all Scotty and Paul mute Slap Yo if you've got multiple TVs in here and you want to keep up with the news shouldn't you diversify your coverage movie steals the Takeover of network television for a revolutionary statement video from V for Vendetta I'm half expecting a cutaway to a British kid asking his dad what's wrong with the deli hell is creepy I tried to find more Nixon because that would have made it creepier or less creepy was any of this dialogue thought out it's a fire sale hey we don't know that yet yeah it's a myth anyway it can't be done thanks lady this is literally her only line in this movie and it is to immediately dismiss a hacker's concept that's currently happening in front of her eyes Johnson that's right yeah that's so weird that the dude's last name is one of the most common surnames in the United States because we're looking for any chance to squeeze in a quick joke isolate the frequency get us the location on the vehicles and while you're at it do this zoom and enhance and then when you find something tell me I better come take a look at this I swear to you I had no idea I was gonna be accessory to to Armageddon nonsense you'd have to be an oil driller that was ridiculously recruited to fly to space and land on an asteroid for that to be the case also Matt is making a full confession in front of the FBI interrogator despite being supremely paranoid of all government systems I swear to you I know her I would know her voice anywhere I'm not disqualifying the sexiness of Maggie Q's voice but I am disqualifying there's enough distinction in her voice to make a starving anxiety filled and sleep deprived Justin Long able to pull it up in his memory that quickly cut the [ __ ] honey just put your boss on that's racist officer McLean I really do love Die Hard movies but why do all of them have to have multiple scenes of John talking directly to the bad guy in order to antagonize him before this goes down that really is tempting especially that last part but I think I'm gonna have to pass jerk off judging from the copious amount of directed DVD content I've seen this is something Bruce Willis hasn't said to a film project in at least 10 years Timex watching a digital age this description is spot on however how would Gabriel know how much of a Luddite McLean is just from looking at his financials backspace we're sending back sure Maya is overriding the dispatch system but these policemen do have eyes right could they not just go back John up based on what they're looking at also luckily for John and Matt Gabriel clearly sent his thugs to the finest Stormtrooper school for aiming at things little known fact John McLean had the highest helicopter of Asian test score in the history of the NYPD open the other side what move Trey didn't give two when they were killing off hackers left and right earlier in the movie but ask him to redirect traffic and all of a sudden he's not feeling too good about the situation weird that Bruce Willis signed on to do a sequel to die hard but ended up making daylight two day harder okay I know the master lights are turned off but why wouldn't that cause cars to actually slow down do you floor it when it gets pitch black outside if so you're a goddamn psychopath also with the number of cars purportedly in this Tunnel right now the headlights alone should have this lit up like a Christmas tree anyway man that is a really fun moment that's stupid as all and I would never remove a sin for it but this movie is not boring also listen I'm all for big action and interesting sequences But Die Hard was supposed to be about the human aspects of this guy starting in this movie they made him a superhero like David Dunn and I refused to believe there are any real Stakes to this character anymore she's just killed the helicopter with a car I was out of bullets such an awesome line but can't remove it sin cool that was close there's a helicopter in Ruins on a busy downtown Street yet there are no other law enforcement officers anywhere near the area I don't care that there are technical glitches in the infrastructure there's a helicopter in Ruins on a busy downtown Street what about pharaoh and McLean and he knows that how he would have seen McLean jump out of the car before launching it and he has no reason to believe that Pharaoh was in it oh yeah do that slower slow discount Jared Harris typing in numbers doors open excitement hot antagonist make out before the final stage of the plan is enacted because they're so horny for Crime cliche hey how's traffic moving so easily now especially this close to the major government buildings even if these [ __ ] put the lights back to normal there are massive pileups all over the city just put in your posture yes or smashing you have to smash it but I would put it in his pocket help the phone can still be traced even if it's not in use and a super hacker like Pharaoh should know that we never made it to DHS now they came after the kid again how does Bowman not know this he lost officers in that Skirmish and a key witness got separated from the protection that didn't seem like an important thing to get back to him on this hacker video was directed by Roland emmerich who despite disagreeing with this hacker sells ideals simply cannot pass up an opportunity to demolish famous buildings the phones are fine it's the network that's dead I've just gotta reprogram it and link it into the old satcoms and I have my trusty hacker utility belt right here where did I put that shark repellent you never know when you'll be dangling from a helicopter over an ocean and needed that you all right wish you would have hit you a little bit I'm all for establishing camaraderie but the movie's already shown that these two generally get along and begrudgingly respect each other so this is essentially a long-winded way of saying movie has time for this if all the networks are down and even possibly landlines how would they connect emergency services and how is this communication even happening if the security guy was going to be so emphatic about denying my entry why'd he opened the super secure gate to the compound you know they stole this car several hours ago and it's been shown to have a remote system that can both start and stop the engine despite the network shutdown so why hasn't that happened how the broken window alone should have set off red flags for the OnStar system this whole floor is restrictive access dude this movie has a higher innocent body count than the end of Man of Steel I have a friend who told me that after seeing this movie he just had to have one of these rolled up keyboards and he said it was useless he also said Sonic the Hedgehog was a good movie so he's not always trustworthy but I'm going to choose to believe him on this one and therefore everything my does from here on out is [ __ ] we're in this movie says some derivative of I'm in or wherein when hacking into a system so many goddamn times that I'm going to award it with an extra 30 cents you're in all right movie in sin man it is shockingly easy to break into the Eastern power grid and shut everything down I don't care how Talent of a hacker my is this only took a very small amount of time and now she's being prompted by the computer to proceed like she's download building the most recent version of iTunes Lynn Wiseman shoots this fight scene like he's making an audition tape for the Iron Man gig the following year alrighty I'm ready I'm all right and in my other hand I really do didn't you hear me masturbating with it profusely the other night while I was listening to your voice there's an insanely clear path in these offices for this car to drive through as if this building was set up with this exact kind of situation and keep in mind he came from the parking garage several minutes of this mid-shaft fight that makes zero sense why did John drive my all the way to the elevator conduit what was his plan to get out of it do we really need this obvious call back to the first movie unless he's going to decorate a villain's sweatshirt with a holiday appropriate burn that guy was taken out by Farrell chases this movie it's fun for a while but when it starts sledding down the hill of disappointment this kind of absurdity makes Cool Runnings look like a movie about golf Western and Central hubs are ours we're just waiting on my's end so what the [ __ ] has been going on at Western and Central's hubs where are the two other mods that could have handled dismantling those because outside of her Friday the 13th year in that [ __ ] who hates guns who the [ __ ] else is useful in this operation listen jackass fire sales over premature taunt abrasion I know a lot of blows up here but isn't the gas supply still going shouldn't there be multiple and sustained explosions speaking of which one night my college girlfriend was ignoring me while watching porn and I've never seen I guess it's possible the power would go out in stages like this but I'm calling [ __ ] that it would start as soon as McLean was looking in that direction looking for movies it's much anyone can jump into a helicopter and fly that regardless of experience gotta find warlock's house um it's probably going to be the one with the lights still on great that's exactly what I need I can now fly from rural West Virginia to Baltimore without any guidance then when I'm in Baltimore I'll be able to scan the entire city and see one townhouse with a few lights still on sounds foolproof he hates cops not enough to save us from the Abomination that he's planning to make in 2010 with a fellow named Bruce Willis and his wacky palette Tracy Morgan I'm Matt Farrell and this is uh Billy he's from friends from space cam why doesn't he just say and this is John hiding that he's a cop makes sense but hiding his first name does not I can't see too good is that a young bearded hand solo [ __ ] walks up in here mispronouncing Han's name like his Lando Calrissian oh what's the chewing time good thing John is as anti-tech as Will Smith in iRobot so that we can continue some sophomore Exposition about highfalutin technobabble I got over here someone's hacking in the wood lock but warlock had already done that before they showed up so why is Trey just catching this now Frederick coludus let's have a look at him Fat Bastard does Freddy seriously not have enough security at his Command Center that the evil [ __ ] can't track his server this easily I know these guys are good and all but warlock is supposed to be equally good until the plot demands he isn't Lucy hang up the phone trying to have a conversation I love Timothy oliphan but he John Travolta so hard here that I'm kind of expecting this scene to have been written by Quentin Tarantino his name is John McLean he's a New York City Cop we'll find him but couldn't Lucy just give him McLean's number that's the normal thing that would happen in this situation right Jesus the amount of cars and the McLean has stolen within a 24-hour time frame has got to add up to over 60 years worth of prison I wouldn't bet on you either so I figured I'd win the hand also your daughter is super hot so really curious if I have a chance with making something happen there this [ __ ] is a handful you know what else is a handful the amount of time strong women are called [ __ ] in this movie and it's not like it was a product of its time or anything this was 2007 Freedom Writers came out that same year and I don't remember any [ __ ] in that that's right Gabriel wants to see you so that timer ready three makes it so obvious that everyone else in the truck is about to get murdered that I'm shocked the other four aren't bum rushing no-name henchmen immediately and that would have made this scene a lot more interesting and a lot less why are all these buildings so easy to break into the digital security that Gabriel's trying to up in get some guards on the vulnerable physical entries and what's Woodlawn it's a fail safe we built after 9 11 to back up all financial information but they wouldn't make the [ __ ] head of cyber crimes aware of this I mean he would be the most obvious person to put in charge of it right also this is treated like some kind of big reveal and I have to ask why maybe it's the fault of the script but we always knew Gabriel was up to something probably involving financials so this isn't a big surprise making it some sort of Area 51 type secret base adds nothing to the proceedings I'm starting to realize the fact that this movie works at all is a miracle YouTube geniuses stay out of my way but they just gave you Vital Information about the Woodlawn site and what it does and all the stuff and the things so why would you shun these sources of secret knowledge why brother of Hobbes why don't move these buttholes have been super trigger happy all [ __ ] movie but the one time the henchman has them dead to rights he pulls a stick em up routine instead of plugging John and Matt send a doctor wait McLean didn't kill this guy he's already mowed down many people he probably didn't have to so this sudden grasp at sympathy the movie is trying to get us to with McLean is total [ __ ] I don't care that he kills people he's been killing people since 1988. we've all learned to love him regardless I am doing the country a favor dude you just said that you weren't the bad guy but obviously only bad guys exposed their plans before the final act so you see my problem here right I thought your name is Gennaro Lucy Gennaro not today Lucy changes her last name as frequently as Ramona Flowers changes her hair color given the climate in here and the lame quips I can't help but think of the scene as way too close a relative of Mr Freeze's entrance in Batman and Robin oh good the FBI is on its way they've been so helpful this entire movie fix it why didn't they asked pharaoh to do this when they were at Woodlawn instead of having Trey waste his time with it the hell is up with all this destruction which just said he was on a major highway so why is he hitting all these parked cars on the side of the road why are there parked cars on the side of a major highway you are authorized to engage and destroy guys no way man I know military folk aren't supposed to question orders but Gabriel's identified as air traffic control not a senior officer and there's no way this dude would let a storm loose on a major metropolitan area with dozens if not hundreds of commuters on the road right now this somehow ends up being the most ridiculous shot of the sequence and this is taking into consideration the upcoming shot of John McLean jumping onto a fighter jet instead of screaming into the void about this pilot being an [ __ ] why can't McLean use the same tricky dude to call Bowman just a few seconds ago and tell him to call off the strike wait after all that the van is still within immediate sight distance holy it's not he just jumped out of the bushes or anything this girl was looking right at McLean before he got shot to hell Mary Elizabeth Winstead is so badass in this movie it's unfortunate she's not in it more than that when she is the majority of the time she's being used as a punching bag I'm gonna kill him and your daughter and I would love for you say that yes no need to off the guy who poses an actual threat to this operation we want to make him suffer Matthew Farrow a correct shot because movie oh I guess he really does love his daughter I always thought that was just a rumor or maybe he'll need extend cope with the fact that he just brutally murdered somebody but sure let's crack some jokes at his expense thank God John told this paramedic to take him to the hospital otherwise they'd end up at Joe's Crab Shack or something while he bleeds out for multiple gunshot wounds win or Moscow and Cairo ever basically the same temperature like one is a desert city near the equator and the other is [ __ ] Moscow also Exposition by news broadcast is the new reading meanwhile in Moscow where it's a balmy cairo-like 24 degrees Celsius oh cool Bruce Willis is in this does this look like a man who's about to go on vacation again how did John's cop buddy get this information about the arrest and even though it was John's kid without somebody from the government telling them and then wouldn't they also tell them hey they're working undercover so don't go over to Moscow and blow that by get involved this is the stupidest piece of paper ever so Jon wrote down his son's name with question marks is he unsure of his son's name and he has the arrest report but he doesn't know what Precinct his son is at or which district he was arrested in or what the charges are oh it's murder better draw a boxer on that so I make sure to remember also he draws hearts and happy jack-o-lanterns oh and look at this cliche coffee stain that couldn't be more perfectly fake and don't forget Money Garden ring is bad always traffic always traffic got it always traffic at the Garden ring I can't imagine that'll come into play though so you could have just said it once all right all right this Russian dude is a terrible Argyle substitute when John gets out of the car his cab is in the far left lane and there aren't any trees over here on the right but then in the next shot his cab is magically in the center lane and there are trees all around on that right side where the other nine Lanes of traffic go also this bear just gets out of his car and leaves it unattended and so does that woman this will definitely not help the situation people well they can't be all that worried about security if they're going to March these important criminals right through the angry mob this vehicle is much too large and heavy to have the kind of Pep and acceleration it needs to actually be involved in this chase scene the spin move by McLean is just flat out moronic but then this is the icing on the cake of stupid McLean thinks the angry motorist should know he doesn't speak Russian just by looking at him random Zoom shot to make the car chase more exciting everything about this bridge changes before McLean decides to crash down below the bridge in this shot has metal guard rails suddenly McLean looks to his right and the barrier is glass with steel frames and there's a whole street that wasn't there before back to the old rails here now the bridge looks like it has an entirely new barrier and a place where pedestrians can walk now McLean breaks through the glass barrier which is apparently his only obstacle to getting down to the street below also the glass breaks twice terribly convenient traffic jam complete with giant truck for easy Landing McLean drives into a truck full of gravel and over cars without stalling or ever getting stuck then he kills more motorists by Smashing all the cars in sight this SUV apparently can smash into an armored truck and significantly alter its path Father and Son stare down made possible through slow motion why is the objects and mirror are closer than they appear warning in English think seriously this van which was pushed for hundreds of feet with its tires burning and smoking the whole way can now drive as though nothing happened this is what the Bible had in mind when David beat Goliath only the Bible story is way more believable this truck is being driven by no one all the bad guys survived the crash that was certain death John McClain oh hey it's that guy I'm on vacation wait no you're not you came to find out why your son was in Russian jail you nearly cried about it see ya that guy no you're not on vacation damn it I wonder if they have a five Ruble foot long this hotel is very serious about its security except when it comes to entering through the back of the hotel Girl from Ipanema elevator music cliche I guess you have done that before what given a random Russian laundry worker American money and somehow communicated to him that what I wanted in return was the hotel master key which he somehow has as a laundry worker all with money I shouldn't have even had in the first place since I gave my cash to my son several minutes ago after he smashed my phone yeah I've done that a few times I took Garden ring wow so that totally random thing the cab driver said twice to John about Garden ring having traffic actually came back into play the director said eat a carrot during this scene so people will know you're an [ __ ] annoying chewing of the carrot can be heard throughout the entire scene but the carrot never gets any shorter the bad guy swallows the bite of carrot he never even took in the first place and then more chewing could be heard even though he hasn't taken another bite still chewing so the two bad guy guards behind them can't see the knife but McLean can see it out of the tiniest sliver of peripheral vision you're killing bad guys that's your thing your thing is also killing tons of innocent people as long as you kill the bad guy too Jack immediately knows that Jon is going to start shooting the convenient glass ceiling without discussing it beforehand why does the bad guy wait this whole time to start using the helicopter to fire into the room or Jack and Jonah Jack and John somehow know there's something to break their fall on the outside of this window okay so now the tube is broken but Jack and John fall the rest of the way down without breaking any bones or dying cops everywhere but no one wants to ask Jack and John any questions after they leave the building they just got shot up siphoned weapons grade uranium got greedy caused the Meltdown shows what we know we were always told it was a power surge and the emergency shutdown that caused the disaster Jon steals these keys from where again and why does this one set of keys opens three different trunks see he forgot to make fists with his toes if neutralize this radiation trust me oh okay then if you say so Random evil daughter oh I guess they're at the swimming pool portion of Chernobyl the one with competitive diving platforms don't worry stable in this form oh I already trust you completely after that whole compound 24 7. if everyone in the room knew that camera was a surprise bad guy why didn't they just go ahead and shoot this carrot eating douchebag earlier so kamaroff has to hope he survives this Courthouse bombing shigeru's Henry obviously he hopes that his daughter will rescue him at the courthouse but doesn't count on Jack whisking him away now he has to find a way into the heavily guarded hotel to find the ballroom that is under construction he hid this key for five years while he was in prison and somehow no one has stumbled upon it during the Reconstruction and hopefully no one runs across the secret stash of uranium that just happens to be stored in a secret room of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant what exactly of these these bad guys here for Discount The Rock don't worry the Flames that are engulfing the entire room can't hurt you as long as you're behind a filing cabinet vacation now specific trip or Journey usually for the purpose of recreation or tourism movie thinks it's just like the original die hard this would definitely kill him several times over [Music] so that's why they had the pool and everyone believed the two American story about how all those Russian Nationals died in a fiery explosion and the radiation turned out to be no problem for either of them to infinity and beyond [Music] rifle fire that's the last time Bender that's the last time you ever make me look better kids do you hear me I make 31 000 a year and I've got a home and I'm not about to throw it away on some pump like you forget it thank you man you had your chance to cooperate but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me well now it is my turn wise ass there will be no foolish one waving or silly incantations in this class as such I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion making however for those select few who possess the predisposition I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and and snare the senses give me that much I don't have time to go into it but he went through a lot good luck I just want to tell you both good luck we're all counting on you [Music] I'm gonna kick your [ __ ] ass no more table don't taste me bro don't say anything [Music] there's the cave oh there's the case you take that one we'll take this one Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home this business will get out of control it'll get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through check next time you get to try that game just put it in a memo strato Gale April 23rd 57 Cape caught in a jet turbine nuggets get them up freeze just getting a drink I want to play a game name the killer in Halloween he costs 300 bucks damage to my car you son of a [ __ ] you told this jerk off I was dead you actually said that it's Gideon I just can't I gave it a cold I gave it a virus collect the hard drive start sweeping them don't let him Dale either put you through with all this gun man you changed man are you ready Transportation hubs are prepped and set [Music] don't worry though we're gonna have plenty of time to get to know each other when I come visit you in prison see I've got my whole defense planned out I'm gonna blame the movies the city property no trespassing [Music]

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,129,886

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, die hard, die hard movies, die hard review, die hard reaction, die hard movie review, die hard movie reaction, die hard franchise, die hard franchise review, die, hard, die hard movie franchise, die hard movie, die hard sins, die hard cinema sins

Id: bs1GPipce_A

Length: 70min 28sec (4228 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 24 2022