THE ZOOLANDER MOVIES - The Dumbest & Funniest Films Ever Made

foreign [Music] Let's Get Silly and sexy and ridiculously ridiculously stupid [Music] are dumb but they are so goddamn funny I guess you can dare lick my balls I can dare lick my own balls I adore the Zoolander movies yes even the second one surprise I will be the first to admit that the second movie has a terrible ending but seriously I am not joking when I say both of these movies are comedy gold excuse me bro you're excused and I'm not your bra if you haven't seen the Zoolander movies then you should probably go and do that watching this video will probably not do them Justice I just think it's cathartic to talk about things I like every once in a while okay I know it's probably more entertaining for you guys when I bash something or spend hours and hours picking apart something bit by bit but for this video I would just like to talk about dumb male models is that okay movies like this have the added benefit that when something dumb happens you automatically think it's intentional the character takes too long to say their line intentional you serious in the beginning of the first movie for example the character mugatu played by Will Ferrell his audio isn't synced with his mouth when the other characters here speak the audio isn't synced to their mouths either perhaps you'd rather go back to churning out novelty neckties and heck in SEC both of these movies were written by Ben Stiller and they're both starring Ben Stiller some might say that these are his magnum opus is now if you've seen the movie you understand the joke okay these movies are based around a dumbass male model named Derek Zoolander and this guy is not just any male model he's one of the most popular male models out there apparently this is not an original idea there was a novel release in 1998 named glamorama it was written by Brett Easton Ellis and it's about a dim-witted male model who finds himself embroiled in a terrorist ring with roots in the fashion industry apparently he sued Ben Stiller following the release of this movie the case was settled out of court but who cares about that let's talk about this dumbass male model Derek Zoolander I love his name too Derek Zoolander it's such a perfect name for this character let me just read you a line from the beginning of this movie a journalist approaches Zoolander and asks him a question how do you feel about the indigenous belief that photos take a part of your soul and this is how Derek responds how many have a digitals do you see modeling how many Abba digitals do you see modeling and then someone else asks him Derek are you worried about Hansel who is a competing male model and then Derek says not as much as I'm worried about Gretel okay that one wasn't as good but you know what I mean at the beginning of this movie We're shown a bunch of random celebrities speaking about Derek Zoolander as if he were real this takes place at the VH1 fashion Awards we see people like Christian Slater Cuba Gooding Jr remember him Tommy Hilfiger Natalie Portman Donald Trump we get to see Fabio win an award for being the best actor slash model or something then we get to watch the promo vids for Hansel and Zoolander they're both in the running for model of the Year Hansel is played by Owen Wilson honestly I think these movies are Owen Wilson's best movies I haven't seen all of Owen Wilson's movies okay wow but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if these were his best movies even Owen Wilson's lines are hilarious during his promo vid he says this sting is an inspiration of mine I don't listen to his music but it's cool he's making it but the fact that he's making it I respect that hansel's so hot right now a lot of the jokes in these movies are very in your face it's definitely not high brow humor but the fact of humor is so dumb kinda adds to the humor the jokes in these movies aren't supposed to make you think because the two main characters in these movies can't think at all like there is nothing going on in these guys brains okay literally nothing aside from maybe sexy I look good sex pose heck yeah looking good not only are they dumbasses they completely lack self-awareness during Derek's promo video he says this I loved my calendar because it got to show a side of my versatility they show his calendar under every page is a different look of his obviously they're all the [ __ ] same a lot of the humor in these movies is Derek saying something wrong because he doesn't understand what he's saying or he's misinterpreting what someone else is saying and sometimes peel will flat out insult him but he's too stupid to understand so the insult is not effective at all but I mean it like the way black people use it he's the most simple-minded person on Earth and Ben still plays him perfectly a running joke in these movies are Derek's looks he has a wide assortment of different looks that he has but whenever you see one of these looks it's the same look every time but he's very adamant about the fact that all of them are slightly different you know it's in the minute details that you're not picking up on when you look at this calendar all the phases are clearly the same right but not to Derek they're all very different you just don't understand the intricacies of his you know his facial expressions notice the curvature of my right eyebrow Derek has one model of the Year award three times in a row and when they announce the winner Derek is so conceited that he believes so blindly that he'd win no matter what that he didn't even listen to the announcement so when they made the announcement believing there's no way he could lose walks up to the podium as if he won and it's hilarious thank you Lenny what makes it so much better is that when he's approaching the stage there's audio in the background of a man saying Hansel but Derek can't hear it for some reason he has to have Lenny Kravitz literally tell him that he didn't win the award for it to finally sink in the next morning we meet Derek's equally dumb roommates Brent Mikus and Rufus and migas is played by Alexander Skarsgard it's pretty crazy seeing him in this role because he went on to become a very successful actor starring in movies like infinity pool and the northmen he even starred in very successful shows like succession mikas and Brent have a pretty hilarious exchange like excuse me but have you ever heard of style in jail I'm sure hansel's heard of styling gel he's a male model Earth to Brent I was making a joke uh Earth to mucus duh okay excuse me it's it's so good about watching these dumbasses argue Derek is wearing these ridiculous onesie pajamas with penguins all over them and whatever he says really really ridiculously good looking he always follows it up with his signature look it's like a habitual thing for him probably because he's so used to doing interviews and being on camera that whenever he says something he just has to follow it up with one of his dumb looks I'm surprised he doesn't make that sound every time he does it because he has he does the mouth right like and then we get one of the most iconic scenes in this movie Noah could really help you sort through these important issues Frappuccino Jitterbug plays in the background as these morons go out in style I mean just look at them they look so dumb and they start goofing around at a gas station they start spraying each other with a gasoline Derek misunderstands a magazine cover calling him an idiot that he pulls from a trash can a model idiot Derek Smiles at his friends goofing around and then that dumbass Brent lights up a ciggy this part highlights so perfectly how dumb these people are they think about two things and that's it what do I want to be doing right now and how do I look what I wanted a cigarette what's the big deal so yeah obviously they blow up oh and by the way orange mocha Frappuccinos can be requested at Starbucks but they aren't on the menu and they aren't orange Derek gives a hilarious eulogy at their funeral oh sorry he gives a you googly yeah um Derek calls it a you googly but did you think I'd be too stupid to know what you googly was and he refers to himself as a you googleizer one who speaks at funerals because when he doesn't know the word to something he just makes up one that he thinks is the right word and he's so sure that he's saying the right thing that he'll make fun of someone who doesn't know what this made-up word is which is exactly what he does to Matilda who's a journalist played by Christine Taylor of course Derek is dressed in all white at this funeral because you know being a male model he's always got to stand out from the ground even at his best friend's funeral honestly he probably dressed all in white because he thought it was too sad to dress in Black Hansel arrives at the funeral to the sound of a DJ he walks down the funeral like it's a Runway everything about this movie is so funny it's so hot right now we're then brought to balls models a modeling agency owned by a guy named Maury Ballston this guy is Derek's boss and manager immediately Mori sexually harasses a woman and it's played off like this is something he constantly does oh yeah I should probably mention that Derek can't turn left it's a disability of his whenever he wants to turn left he has to spin to the right a hilarious and ridiculous character flaw that I can't imagine being in any other movie but it fits perfectly in this one he's seen doing the spin several times in the film but what if I told you there are times during this movie that he does in fact turn left I'm sure you'd be very upset when Mori calls out to Derek at the red car carpet for the award show he turns left when startled by JP Pruitt in the cemetery he turns left when leaving the cemetery he turns left and when Derek finishes talking to Matilda on the walkie-talkie in mori's office he turns left I don't think these are flaws in the movie itself I just think the character Zoolander is just that dumb he thinks he can't turn left but he absolutely can Mori tells Derek that he's a laughing stock and he asks him a simple question what do we do when we fall off the horse and of course Derek has a hard time answering this I feel like Derek is the type of character that is so stupid that he would stump Sherlock Holmes you know what I mean because he's so unpredictable there aren't many people out there as dumb as Derek Zoolander even when Mori tells Derek the answer to this brain dead question this is how Derek responds sorry Mori I'm not a gymnast I'm not a gymnast Derek then travels to a coal mine in New Jersey this is where the rest of his family is employed one of his brothers is played by Vince Vaughn and he doesn't have a single line in this movie of course all the Zoolander boys have the same exact Black poof hair Derek decides he wants to move on from the Fashion World and reconnect with his family so he tries working in the coal mine with his family and it's just as funny as you'd imagine he struts down the mine in his bright blue pants and helmet like he's walking down a Runway obviously things don't go great for him down there there's one part when he gives himself blackface and scares his dad from a shadow I don't believe you people what do you mean you people out of at our that night Derek is seen removing his black face with a billion cotton balls he then starts acting like he has the black lung after one day it's not very well ventilated down there with these tiny baby coughs and then a commercial of him as a merman comes on the television this commercial is so ridiculous moisture it's the essence of essence of beauty this is a commercial for Evita so did they just allow Derek to say whatever the hell he wanted in their own commercial because it seems like that's what they did Derek's dad is not very impressed by this commercial in fact he's very embarrassed he tells Derek that he's dead to him you're more dead to me and your dead mother ly after this Derek gets a call from Mori on the smallest cell phone known to man look at this thing I don't think you could make a cell phone smaller if you could I'd be impressed look tiny phone that is so retro I want to take a picture with my phone obviously Derek thinks it's God calling him sending him a message because that's just how self-centered he is God what coal mining might not be for him this fashion designer named mugatu gives Derek the opportunity of a lifetime so he takes it mugatu's assistant Todd brings him a foamy latte and mugatu does not like foamy lattes this scene is so funny my mistake shock of him you're mistaken D Will Ferrell hasn't been very funny in his more recent movies I love Will Ferrell in this role he's honestly hilarious and I can't think of anybody else that could have played it better maybe Jim Carrey could have done it well too Will Ferrell is just perfect for this role the phases that mugatu and his assistant Todd make at each other they're Priceless okay the range of emotion these two men sent to each other in the matter of like three seconds is so good it's like they're trying to figure out how the other person feels this next part is so funny I'm probably gonna say that a lot because these movies are funny throughout the entire thing but okay just bear with me so then mugato presents a miniature version of this school that Derek wants to open which is aptly named Derek Zone vendors Center for kids who can't read good and this is how Derek responds upon seeing this model what is this [Music] what how can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building so mogato presents Derek with his new fashion line named Dara leaked it's a fashion line inspired by homeless people and crack yeah that's literally what they say life inspired by the very homeless vagrance the crack do you guys get it Dara leaked derelict it kind of sounds like the name Derek is in the word so they just slapped an e on the end of the word derelict and it's honestly hilarious I love how when Derek is presented with this disgusting and tasteless fashion line he just goes sounds cool sounds cool nothing is happening between those ears you know nothing penetrates it's so good this movie does such a good job poking fun at the Ridiculousness of high fashion I love it so much for that oh yeah Mila Jovovich is in this movie she plays mugatu's Russian henchwoman and this is her name katinka Inga bogov mugatu sends Derek to a private Spa a very luxurious Spa you can tell because look at his masseuse that's his masseuse and this is how they sound when they're giving Derek a massage Derek turns over and of course he's rock hard there's a part when the masseuse tries like swatting his pee pee for some reason but his uh his Ding-A-Ling is very evasive I don't know what more to say about this scene in this Spa they hypnotized Derek because they want to use him to kill the prime minister of Malaysia they hook him up to this machine to brainwash him and it's pretty funny the reporter Matilda visits Derek's apartment and he instantly thinks that she's there to try and sleep with him what are you having a Whack Attack she informs him that he's been gone for a week at the spa when he believes he's only been there for a day Winona Ryder randomly makes an appearance in this movie then there's Paris Hilton and then Billy Zane Derek has a run-in with Hansel and they exchange some very harsh words I guess you can dare lick my balls Capitan I can dare lick my own balls thank you very much they decide they need to settle it on a Runway with a walk-off Hansel [ __ ] his scooter like it's a shotgun before zooming away he's so hot right now and then a wild David Bowie appears to rate the walk-off rest in peace King the walk-off is treated like a boxing match after each round of walks they sit with their coach who prepares them for the next walk Hansel yells in pain as he gets his bangs trimmed because he's blind out there I can't see him blind out there both of these models are equally skilled on the runway look at their moves basically this walk-off kind of works like horse you ever play the basketball game horse you shoot the basket in a certain way and your opponent has to copy you and make the basket but if they fail then they get a letter and the first person to spell it horse loses except how does someone lose during a walk-off you know I guess they would get points kind of like a boxing match like oh you you did your arm movements a lot cleaner than Derek did so Hansel has to pull out a party trick to win he jams his hands in his pants and removes his underwear and somehow they're not ripped unbelievable how is Derek gonna pull this off so yeah clearly Derek loses because he can't pull the underwear out of his pants instead he tries ripping them off which obliterates his nuts why didn't he just ask someone to give him their underwear before going up there this is the easiest thing to replicate just shove someone else's underwear in your pants and just go up there and pretend like you're ripping your own underwear off so simple the movie tries to explain to us that Derek could have done this party trick if only he could turn left and all he had to do was turn left but did Hansel really turn left it looked to me like they were both doing the same movements there's a split second shot that's really strange to me when Derek is walking onto the runway about to try and rip his underwear off there's a split-second shot of the crowd looking back at him and if you inspect this shot you'll notice someone is missing that's someone being Hansel where the hell is he because when Derek loses he's all of a sudden there again celebrating where'd he go did he go take a piss are any X-Files fans watching any Boomers in the crowd I like the X-Files well guess what Dave Duchovny stars in this movie He plays a retired hand model named JP Pruitt who has been investigating deaths at the hand of the fashion industry for a long time he obviously cares a lot about his signature hand he keeps it in a hyperbaric chamber to keep it looking pristine I mean look at how nice that hand looks dang it was in the fall 1973 Bulova watch catalog totally normal to walk around with this big glass thing around your hand it's so funny the concept of this you know what I mean he loses complete functionality of this hand just to make sure that the passing of time doesn't make it look worse seems like a fair trade to me you gotta have nice looking hands dude or else what's the point JP Pruitt tells Matilda and Derek why male models are the perfect assassins they're in Peak physical condition they can gain entry into almost anywhere and they always do what they're told like Derek during this monkey photo shoot what was he selling during this yeah hilariously nothing registers in Derek's mind so he asks JP Pruitt the same question but why male models and JP's reaction to this is so funny you serious I just I just told you that a moment ago right the best part about this is that Ben Stiller ad-libbed this part he asked the question a second time without David Duchovny knowing he was going to do that so David the company just ran with it and the scene turned out perfectly they have a run-in with some agents oh my God we must escape Derek accidentally steps on JP's hand chamber and it breaks and it's so funny you freaking idiot Derek and Matilda go to hansel's place to ask him for help so they bury the hatchet in their own special way later in hansel's hippie layer Matilda opens up about how she was chubby growing up and how the beauty standards for women impacted her life Derek responds compassionately ew ew she tells them that she's bulimic but Derek thinks that she means psychic she tries explaining what bulimia means and Hanzo and Derek brush it off like it's no big deal because they throw up after their meals all the time you know it's just what models do they gotta stay thin and fit it's a great way to lose pounds before a show Matilda tells them that she hasn't had sex in a while and Hansel responds so once a while like eight days more this is followed up by one of the weirdest sex scenes ever put to film Derek has an idea to infiltrate Ball's models by using makeup to disguise themselves as janitors and this is what they look like in their disguises does this count as blackface how about now what makes this really awkward is in the next scene they both fail to use a computer and start acting like dumb Apes trying to get to work but honestly I think this scene gets a pass because it's a reference to 2001 A Space Odyssey they're acting like monkeys the same music plays and Hansel grabs a bone just like in Stanley Kubrick's movie Matilda tells Hansel over the phone that the files they need are in the computer and Hansel thinks she means that literally we hear you loud and clear like he thinks the files are inside the computer like the paper files are in there literally uncomfort Derek attends the Dara leaked show because he's a man with principles who never misses a show even if he might be forced to kill a prime minister against his will but you know Derek he's never missed a show and he's not starting now now I could sit here and analyze the implications of turning the impoverished into a fashion show called derelict but I think it's easiest just to say it's [ __ ] up and it does a great job cementing mugatu as a sociopathic villain what's even funnier is that Derek never realizes how awful this fashion campaign is in fact he attends it regardless of the fact that he knows he's programmed to murder someone the brainwashed trigger to get Derek to kill someone is the song relax Matilda tries to warn him but he's too stupid to realize in time Hansel attempts to save Derek by changing the music and he starts breakdance fighting the DJ it's a damn handsome he's so hot right now also Hansel shouldn't know that the music is the trigger right how did he figure this out during this part when Hansel is is fighting this guy Hansel changes the song over and over because he knows the song relax is the trigger so why not just break the record well yeah I know the answer okay he's dumb as a stump Hansel manages to unplug the turntable he then announces that they have all the files inside the computer and he throws it to the ground expecting the files to Spring out from within it which is so funny like why would he do that he's basically just giving them the files at that point if they actually were in the computer like he thinks oh my God Mori Boston decides it's time to expose everything I gotta prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories he tells everyone he has the files on a zip disk mugatu has a hilarious line about how all of Derek's bases are the same and for some reason nobody in the fashion industry wants to point that out who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway the man has only one look for Christ's sake doesn't anyone notice this I feel like I'm taking crazy pills it's refreshing remembering how funny Will Ferrell used to be mugatu throws a shuriken at the Prime Minister and Derek blocks it with Magnum the look that he's been working on for almost a decade and it basically looks exactly like the others but the fact that it's noticeably different in the most minute ways makes everybody lose their [ __ ] everybody's Blown Away by it for some reason even his dad who is completely embarrassed by him before he loves this new model look that his son is showing off like what the [ __ ] he's like that's my son that's my kid why is this guy watching a modeling show in a bar did he ask the bartender to switch the channel to the modeling show oh my God so he could watch his son's amazing Premiere at the Dare Elite campaign that's all about homeless people and crack and all Derek had to do to perfect this look was turn left Derek you did it that was amazing I know I turned left hilariously Derek speaks perfect Malaysian to the prime minister at the end of the movie We're then shown a commercial for Derek Center for kids who can't read good but want to do other things good too did I get that right Derek Center for kids who can't read good but want to do other things good too the designers got you nuts and advice what are you gonna do Hansel is teaching children how to base jump it's very normal Derek's kid aptly named Derek Jr created his first look and then we see a fountain that was built to pay homage to Derek's three dead homies of course it shows them moments before their death playing with gasoline hoses imagine if you were related to one of these dead male models and Derek's Zoolander had a fountain built in their memory and it displays the moment that killed them Ben Stiller had several family members in this film his wife Christine Taylor his father Jerry Stiller his mother and miera his sister Amy Stiller and his brother-in-law Mitch Winston surprisingly this film was banned in Malaysia and I'm pretty sure you can guess why [Applause] Awards go Zoolander 2 released in 2016 was also written directed and starred Ben Stiller the announcement for this movie came from a fashion show where Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson walked down the runway in character as Derek and Hansel not gonna lie would have been hilarious to be there not as good as the first one but it has some gems oh my god let's just get into it okay this one starts out kind of weird I wouldn't blame anyone if they checked to see if they were watching the right movie because this movie starts with a Chase sequence starring Justin Bieber who's playing himself eventually he's cornered and gunned down and when I say gun down I mean holy [ __ ] this is what I would expect a father to do to a guy that sexually assaulted his daughter or something because they turned Justin Bieber into swiss cheese in this movie he gets like 1 000 rounds drilled into his chest I'm unsure how he's alive still sure even if he was wearing body armor he would be quite dead already but with his last breath he takes one last selfie because what do you do with your dying breath take a selfie of course and you gotta post on Instagram because if no one sees it what's the point and you have to find the perfect filter because I mean come on this is your last picture you got to make it look good we then find out that many pop stars have been killed and they all took similar selfies before they died making an eerily familiar face I wonder whose face they're mimicking then God help us all the effects used to show these news reports is kinda cheesy but it's not a huge deal what isn't cheesy in these movies so Derek's Center for kids who can't read good ended up collapsing because Zoolander had the building built with the same materials that were used to craft the miniature model from the last movie oh yeah and Matilda died because she was in the building she was crushed by the massive book I guess Hansel was around during this building's collapse and he suffered a massive wound to his face you'll see what I mean later it's truly truly revolting you mean that mugatu was arrested Derek had his kid taken away because he couldn't figure out how to make spaghetti soft like even just reading this stuff off of a script is like it sounds so dumb anyway yeah there's a scene where he gets really mad because um Matilda always made the spaghetti and he doesn't understand how she made this slash guy who couldn't make spaghetti soft so they took away his sons you see Matilda always made the spaghetti so when it came time for Derek to make it he didn't know how to make it soft like God damn it how do you do it Jay how did Mommy make it soft it's like magic Derek retires from modeling and expresses his desire to live his life as a hermit crab yes as a hermit crab he said that that's a hermit crab oh yeah he changed his name because he wants to be anonymous now so his new name is Eric tulander Eric it's very smart just like if I needed to run away I would change my name to pelvis The Galleon no one would know we then get a scene from the harsh winters of extreme Northern New Jersey I love how these movies paint New Jersey out to be this massive [ __ ] accurate Billy Zane pays Derek a visit and shows him this star wars-like hologram of one of the top fashion icons in the world asking for him to return to be a part of her new collection of course Derek treats the Hologram like it's a literal tiny person it's like you're not even listening to me and then there's this hilarious line Billy Zane says think about it man this could be a sign and Derek replies what if it's a stop sign Billy he's got a point it could be could be a stop sign you never know Billy Zane convinces him that he could get his kid back if he proves that he's a productive member of society Hansel is seen in the middle of a desert meditating in a sitting position that proves that he in fact does not have a penis and or balls we then find out that Hansel Knocked Up literally everybody in his friend group including the males and animals impossible and one of the men in this group is Kiefer Sutherland yes Hansel Knocked Up Kiefer Sutherland you gotta hand it to these guys the creativity in these movies it's out there hansel's wearing a mask to hide his disfigured face Billy Zane offers Hansel an opportunity so Hansel does the responsible thing and runs away from his 36 unborn children Hansel and Derek run into each other at the airport they both have the same ridiculous fuzzy luggage and then randomly Susan Boyle makes a cameo do you guys remember Susan Boyle didn't she get famous on American Idol or something I don't remember the song She Sang but I know she was popular for four months or something maybe it was longer than that but you know what I mean no it's just kind of weird seeing her in this movie because her Fame was kind of a flash in the pants and that's just one side of me Fred Armisen is in this movie and he plays an 11 year old kid named VIP or VIP who escorts Hansel and Derek to their destination oh and don't drink the water or you'll die Hansel wants to test out Magnum so he starts throwing random [ __ ] at Derek's face you know so he'll stop them with Magnum but it doesn't work Hansel can see that it's not working but he continues to throw stuff at Derek and not like pillows he's throwing bottles of alcohol at Derek at his face you know just bro things think fast now afterwards we get to see hansel's disgusting disfigured face and of course it's the smallest scar imaginable and what makes this part even better is that Derek is repulsed by it please put the mess back on it's so gross this tiny little line on his face we're introduced to this annoying character named Atari he's like a big name in the modeling business or something he constantly uses negative words and phrases to express positive emotions you guys suck both you guys suck you look great huh which I get it you know people say oh that's so sick to say something's cool normally when something's sick it's a bad thing or oh my God ill nasty dude they're playing up that whole thing to an extreme I just didn't really find it that funny the character itself just didn't do it for me and then Benedict Cumberbatch comes out of nowhere with no eyebrows he plays a non-binary character named all and there's a joke about how Derek and Hansel aren't sure what gender they are it's obviously goofing on the generational divide that they're facing these new big names are coming in to fill their spots it is kind of weird seeing the non-binary thing goofed on in this movie but I think he's asking do you have a hot dog or a bun I guess being non-binary was really weird back in 2016 just strange to see because obviously this movie is painting all as a weirdo and the main concept behind their character is that they don't identify as male or female and so that makes them this really strange weirdo to Derek and Hansel are you not comfortable with people like all in the workplace or something it's just interesting to see how this joke is aged by the way all just married herself oh yeah Skrillex is in this too and this is just the beginning of the celebrity cameos they just keep popping up as the movie progresses Hansel and Derek are made fun of on the runway as old washed up losers I don't know why but some of the funniest moments in these movies for me is when Derek tries to say something but he messes up one word and so it loses all of its meaning you're like a walking Tyrannosaurus I mean walking thesaurus like he heard someone else say something but he doesn't understand the context and so he just repeats what other people say without knowing what they're really saying and he says the wrong thing and it just makes it so funny like in this instance after the modeling show Derek tries to tell Hansel that they're the laughing stock of the modeling world but what he ends up saying is this we were a joke out there a total laughing stick what do you want me to say I mean I don't know Penelope Cruz is in this movie and she plays a character named Valentina Valencia she pulls Derek and Hansel aside because she needs their help to uncover the mystery behind the deaths of the pop stars fashion police were clean lady Go harass somebody else Valentina shows Derek the picture that Justin Bieber took before he died and she calls the face that he made blue steel big mistake what are you a [ __ ] idiot blue steel idiot it's not blue steel Derek has many faces and they're all very different and that was obviously not blue steel not even close my question is is INTERPOL one of those socialist things where they hire mentally impaired people this old ad of Derricks wherein he's a cow who gets milk and oh boy he likes getting milked look at this face that Derek is making clearly the right eyebrow is slightly different they're very subtle differences but if you have any taste you'll notice them Valentina offers her apologies and Derek says None taken please accept my apologies Derek they learn where Derek's son was brought when Derek went into hiding it's conveniently an orphanage in Rome whereas this modeling show being held very close by what are the chances a little too convenient clearly there's no connection well of course there is but Derek and Hansel are too stupid to see that Derek and Hansel go to the orphanage and finds a kid that looks exactly like Derek he's got the same poofy black hair but of course Derek Jr is the chubby one with long hair and Derek hates that his son is fat Hansel and Derek have a talk about whether or not being overweight makes you a bad person wait I'm saying they're just fat that makes him some sort of terrible person maybe you're right no I'm asking and I'm agreeing with you I seriously think that my fat son might be a terrible person so Derek meets the Headmaster of the school some very odd looking man he looks strangely familiar he couldn't possibly be this guy from the first movie could he clearly not I mean just look at the wig he's wearing he's basically a different person it was a wig the whole time that was awake and then Derek meets his son Derek JR says most kids play catch with their father not bring them to a thong shoot then Derek retorts there's a lot of starving children in Africa who would die to go to a thong shoot what I love how the jokes are written in such a way that you can imagine that there was probably a time when Derek heard someone else say something like this but Derek didn't really understand the context so now these phrases exist in his memory as a random response to things people say cool sounds dope yeah fresh remember the orange mocha Frappuccino thing from the first movie well they do something similar in this movie Derek takes this kid out for frozen chocolate out of gelato while driving Derek takes out a selfie stick taking these selfies results in a car accident this scene is obviously meant to Echo the gas station disaster it's also hilarious because it proves that Derek as a character learns nothing from any of his experiences his head is a hollow shell goes where the wind takes him sure all of his best Buzz blew up in a freak gasoline accident did that freak accident change Derek's life not really Derek went back into the modeling world after that this event only led to a statue being built in their honor for a school that would end up collapsing and killing more people that he loves so the car accident scene in this movie is hilarious this car goes flying and I mean holy [ __ ] nobody would survive this and they survive without any injury #oops Derek Jr Gets a Haircut and he has a snazzy new outfit that Derek picked out for him Derek does comment that his son's pants are kinda loose they could they could be a little bit more snug I'm sure there's some room in there somewhere okay maybe your pants are a little loose are you serious right now the straw that broke the camel's back was Derek Jr reading a book this upsets Derek very much does Derek Jr not remember what killed his mother a giant book books are evil and a one-ton book killed her so Derek Jr walks away from his father and Derek yells after him I thought we were gonna give each other facials oh my God meanwhile Hansel is seduced into an orgy by another random group of people this group includes Susan Sarandon and a BDSM variant of Ariana Grande they make sure to tell us that Ariana Grande is a basic [ __ ] hey you are a basic [ __ ] come on let's go I guess it's because she's obviously kinky being the BDSM person in the group so calling her a basic [ __ ] is supposed to be like oh my God everybody else in this group is way freakier than this girl who likes BSM the first group finds Hansel with this other group Kiefer Sutherland is not mad he's just disappointed how could Hansel Abandon All 36 of his children to knock up another 36 people Willie Nelson comes out of nowhere and he mentions how he wasn't done with the hippo yeah there was a hippo in the group you know Hansel he likes animals where did everybody go I wasn't done with that hippo ah the celebrity cameos were already getting out of hand but then out of nowhere Katy Perry and Neil deGrasse Tyson pop up during the scene when Derek and Hansel are having an identity crisis together this sequence has some truly terrible green screen so that finally brings an end to the celebrity cameos and then they meet sting God damn it the music that he's created over the years I don't really listen to it sting tells the tale of Adam Eve and Steve so yeah apparently there was always a Steve but nobody wants to mention Steve poor Steve and the descendants of Steve have special blood that has the power of the Fountain of Youth or some dumb [ __ ] like that I don't know apparently Derek Jr has this special blood in his veins how do you know of this because I and many rock stars like me lies protect us you see there are only a few genes that separate the greatest rock stars in history for male models which Gene to those the ones for talent and intelligence of course so they put the pieces together that mugatu was behind everything I mean of course he was right like obviously and when the answer is staring them directly in the face there it goes who are we talking about so good Derek is then brought to the fashion prison holding mugatu he just walks on in M.C hammer and John Malkovich are prisoners here for some reason like what the hell what celebrity isn't in this movie because I'm about to give all them props for not having a cameo in this movie like holy [ __ ] they must have sent an email out to every celebrity known to man asking them if they would like a two second bit in the new Zoolander movie because God damn it it feels like they put everybody in and most of the time it's not funny it's kind of stupid like in the first movie when David Bowie showed up it was kind of like oh [ __ ] that's cool I like David Bowie and it made even more sense because David Bowie was not only a musician but a fashion icon in this movie there's like hey John Malkovich you want to be a prisoner just sit here and say random [ __ ] although killing Justin Bieber that was kind of funny mainly because there was that massive hate Brigade against Justin Bieber for some reason remember when everybody hated Justin Bieber it was kind of like mocking that I guess so that was funny but most of the celebrity cameos in here are just like cool it's Katy Perry I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson [ __ ] this next part with mugato is so funny Derek thinks that mugato is using reverse psychology on him so he does the opposite of whatever mogatu tells him even if it's obviously a mugati's favor Derek is just that stupid let me go not until you untie my straight jacket and put it on okay if I do will you let me go no will let me go okay and this results in Derek's capture and mugato's release you see over the last 10 years mugatu had been creating these very convincing masks for Derek and himself to wear so he could Escape it was all part of his master plan also all the guards here are former male models so they're all idiots so they all fall for his dumb mask that nobody should fall for as mugatu is leaving the prison he takes off the mask in front of the guards he rips his clothes off to reveal a huge muscular tattooed body he's got an epic piano key necktie tattoo and even a tattoo of himself on a cross on his back he then out of nowhere rips off his muscular body and bald cap revealing another outfit underneath and his Iconic Hair all of this is done in front of the guards and the guards do nothing once in the helicopter to escape we get that Todd latte bit again from the first movie and it's just as funny in this one I love the faces these two actors make at each other is so good um also I would like to mention that when the helicopter takes off from Thimble Island fashion prison the tail rotor is not spinning when mugatu reaches his destination we find out that Hansel was catching a ride Atop The helicopter blades the whole time mugatu reunites with Alexandria and they have the weirdest makeout session imaginable they scream into each other's mouths there's lots of tongue um I guess it's a Russian kiss it's a step up from a French kiss so remember the annoying Don Atari from earlier well mogatu kills him so he's gone this whole scene is pretty hilarious he's just saying random [ __ ] prison changed me deeply it affected me psychologically I'm a psycho Hansel calls Derek and tells them what he overheard about Derek's son being kidnapped by mugatu mugatu ends up putting Derek Jr in this hilarious room full of calorie heavy foods to fatten him up for the slaughter even though he just wants the kids blood right the super secret Fountain of Youth blood that's in Derek Jr he's not gonna eat him or anything he just wants his blood mugatu wants to fatten them up but they also plan on killing him that same day I'm not sure how fat you expect him to get in one day I mean maybe he could gain some water weight like nikikado avocado for example it's all Waterway of course I have enough water weight going on for me for 11 and a half years you guys ever noticed that he's losing his weight all of a sudden it's because he started peeing he was holding his kiss that whole time for some reason nobody knows this I I get to buy as skinny I'm sorry can't understand a word that you're saying Hans El arrives to save Derek Jr they start talking in Hansel mentions that he knew Derek Jr's mom he then gives him details about how crazy Matilda was in the sack she had a mouth like Chinese finger cuffs you know where you like you you try to pull out but it just keeps getting tighter the dialogue in this movie is honestly hilarious at times despite being dumb as hell but that's by Design she had a mouth like a Chinese finger trap once it's on you you can't get off Valentina uses her boob buoyancy to help her and Derek swim to where the incredible is taking place the incredible is basically this movie's Dara leaked after entering a secret trap door on Derek's wall ass they meet up with Hansel yes there's a secret door on Derek's wall ass so yeah all the big names in fashion are here Marc Jacobs Tommy Hilfiger they're all here to sacrifice Derek Jr to get some of that sweet blood of Youth Derek rushes in and drop kicks mugatu to save Derek Jr before mugatu stabs him and then Derek says this to his tied up son I don't care if you're fat anymore Derek Jr I love you I don't care that you're fat you're my best mistake I was a mistake I think so mugatu throws a knife at Derek Jr and Derek tries to save him with Magnum and it doesn't work that did not work at all it turns out mugatu was the one who owned the construction company that built the center for kids who can't read good that's how I killed your mother on CBS right after Two Broke Girls it also turns out that the blood of Youth was a ruse all along mugatu planned all this out to bring all the fashion people of the world into one place so he can kill them all check out the new spring collection from Hilfiger brought to you by white privilege I gotta say the ending to this movie is pretty awful it's super convoluted and not that funny it's revealed that Alexandra was katinka inglebobo all along sting was hansel's father all along at the end Hansel sting Derek and Derek Jr all use their looks to send mugatu's bomb back at him it turns out it was a glitter bomb I guess so we got to want to kill them all figuratively or something kill them with glitter I mean I know glitter is like the herpes of the crafts world it's really tough to get that stuff out of your hair and clothing but [Music] um you guys are the absolute worst it's revealed at the end of the movie that Kiefer Sutherland miscarried hansel's baby it's very sad I Lost My Baby no Matilda's ghost shows up out of nowhere to deliver a very meaningful message or something I'm dead literally nothing bothers me anymore Hansel and Derek are super hot in the fashion world again the movie ends with Neil deGrasse Tyson doing a look and I hate it this movie's ending was a train wreck but that definitely doesn't mean there weren't some hilarious moments in this movie Penelope Cruz's mole on her face switches sides throughout the movie you would never notice this unless someone point that out so I'm sorry I'm the person that did that both Zoolander films feature villainous fashion designers named after minor characters from Star Trek the Original Series Jacoby mugatu was named after a gorilla-like creature that appeared in season 2 episode 19 a private little war while Alexandra etaz was named after The Librarian from season 3 episode 23 all our yesterdays thank you Mr atos Ben Stiller must really love or hate Star Trek one of the two oh yeah remember Alexander Skarsgard who played mikas in the first movie well he plays Adam very briefly in this movie these movies are poking fun at so much stuff in the real world it's hard to point them all out they're everywhere they poke fun at homophobia the tabloids the Fashion World Hollywood Starbucks the masseuse is at the spot are all homeless and the hotel has complementary Farm to Table Wi-Fi overall I love these movies I think they're a great time I think they're super funny so yeah that will do it for this video thank you so much for watching let me know what you'd like me to review next in the comment section down below don't forget to check out alienclothing.com my personal clothing brand I've been working on it since 2017 well attentively 2016 but it really took off in 2017. we have a ton of new designs over there that I think you might like like this shirt this shirt this shirt and this shirt you should also download our app we have a new app just search a-y-y-l-i-e-n in your App Store and download the app and leave a five-star review leave a five-star review please please do that it's just a more convenient way to shop and also means you'll never miss out on a collection thank you so much to all my patrons that make videos like this possible I love you guys all the people scrolling up right now you can join them just go to patreon.com Elvis the alien thank you guys so much for supporting me it means the world and I'll see you in the next video bye [Music] hahaha [Music] foreign [Music]

Channel: Elvis The Alien

Views: 1,121,009

Keywords: Elvis the Alien, ElvistheAlien, satire, zoolander, zoolander 2

Id: yUbVrIRHchc

Length: 49min 59sec (2999 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 08 2023