Everything Wrong With Shark Tale in 14 Minutes or Less

comcast now escape go just go cry freedom starting your animated film off with a tongue-in-cheek reference to a film about the south african apartheid lenny what are you doing what i i was just uh picking you some flowers shark refuge what do you mean it's our theme song the movie jaws existing in this movie's universe isn't a stretch but thinking that frankie and lenny would have access to actually watch the movie is and yeah yeah we're gonna find out all these fish have the same things humans have but under water but since all that's bolted as well my sin stance apparently lots of fish are and do eat other fish so i guess the sin is not naming this restaurant apple king why would all these signs exist underwater how would they even be designed underwater what fish has the hands to write paint or draw how would the printing equipment work underwater how does a fish drink coke and your answer for all these questions could be it's an animated film and then i'll kindly ask you to off and then gladly welcome you to the channel for the first time hope you stay a while and meanwhile i will add 10 cents for all this underwater advertising nonsense are they gone are are they gone if they're not katie current almost got you killed for the sole purpose of setting up this fish reveal i'm not sure why that seal needed to kill that starfish or why both these tiles say lawrence fishberg i mean if it had been lawrence fishburne it would make sense he totally deserves two stars but lawrence fishburne he can go eat carp for all i care slight congestion here on the inner reef 95. production team thought a four-way intersection with a traffic light was the best way to draw a comparison to interstate 95 and i can assure such things do not exist on that particular highway well at least not on any of the parts that matter there's an overturned macro get out those cell phones and call into the boss cause you'll be late movie downplay is a likely health issue because it doesn't want to interrupt the sunny disposition of this traffic report also why are we even pretending they are fish if they can't even do basic fish things like swimming up over and around other fish don't you yell at me my mother is your mother okay god forbid this movie not racially stereotype it's catfish that don't seem to be able to actually transport other fish movie confirms what i have long suspected that eels are the most sexually exciting aquatic creatures these lobsters aren't carrying any passengers and even if i buy that they need to operate in the same manner as the subway for some reason there is still no way a rail system is the best designed to facilitate the movement of a creature with claws and legs i suppose the joke is that he's trying to serve raw fish in the ocean and the movie that also named a fast food chain fish king seems to think this is a dumb idea all of a sudden how exactly are the prices listed next to the sushi rolls being paid do the fish have cash where do they keep it is there no hero among us dystopia has decided that the best response to the ongoing threat of an apex predator is to rely on the emergence of a hero instead of establishing a standing army you so broke yo bologna had no first name writers thought that explaining this awareness of pork-based human food products was less important than coating these spray can wielding fish kids to a particular stereotype hey after look who came to visit the flash because that's the only individual who could have spray painted all this in the time oscar swam down to have a couple words with crazy chuck as if whales don't have enough problems there also seems to be a lobby in hollywood pushing for them to be treated as transportation in animated films i'm looking at you surf's up since toothed whales lack an olfactory lube they probably can't smell anyway but even if this was a bailing whale you probably want to put the freshener closer to the blowhole so they could smell it and not taste it i'm already punched in that's wild because there wasn't even a card here a second ago bottled water you'd think this would get a sin for being another reference to our world but the pitch for this idea probably sounded just as absurd when the first human said it so instead i'm singing the movie for the possibility of even one child thinking fish are to blame for any of the trash in the ocean all fish tanks are essentially prisons but it's weirder when the fish in your universe can communicate with you through spoken language it's a fish eat fish world and why did you feed these piranhas a purple pellet instead of i don't know a fish we wouldn't dare play the music but after luca moves the needle baby got back begins playing and i'm sure all those four-year-old sir mix-a-lot fans were loving life from now on his work for frankie and lenny kabish lenny frankie i understand but lenny you can't be serious man what'd it get to have robert de niro and martin scorcese cracking wise with each other in an animated film i bet all those four-year-old goodfellas fans were loving life tell you what's what and what what what what this what's on for all the who when where and how pop lenny had an accident wait are you telling me the fish have actual bathrooms down here i mean i don't want to see that but i kind of do but i don't but i kind of do to the awkward arousal of parents everywhere movie shamelessly inserts itself into the titanic cinematic universe 60-foot slime-covered tongue if that tongue is 60 feet then there is zero percent chance that bucket is big enough to hold all the slime that's all right look i'm gonna get you some coupons we're gonna get you a free hot wax and all that what might be better is actually removing the soap from around the eye so it doesn't go back in just give me some time that's all i'm asking i just i'm i'm begging you sikes please so hey boss says we gotta come up with the next animated movie for the company and i'm scratching my head trying to figure out what the kids want these days not sure of any but can i borrow a thousand dollars i owe my loan shark that's it hey you nailed it kids love movies about loan sharks but what if we made the loan truck an actual shop brilliant it ain't so about that thousand bring my 5 000 clamps to the racetrack tomorrow or else this 5 000 clams will not actually be 5 000 clamps hanging clothes out to dry underwater it'll get you the money you need from mr sykes i don't believe there's a world where you take this pearl from your best friend and are considered a friend in any way whatsoever this handing over to business is for you it's for both ears now we've got a crime boss wants to make sure his sons are up to the task of handling the business after he passes on cliche seriously who is this movie for because it's not for kids you're a good person personhood is generally reserved for humans though i'd say he's a shark son i was forced to suspend disbelief on these sea horses galloping like real horses that was until writers included this line who in the hell of it trips underwater and by the way and admitted that none of this makes any sense it's not so much that this animated movie has a violent death scene as it is that the movie immediately treats it as a joke i'm so cold that's just because we're cold blooded but you're not there are four types of sharks that are warm blooded and the great white is one of those four oscar did you kill that shark movie wants us to believe that ernie and bernie believe that oscar killed a shark and that is a foundation to build your movie oscar katie current so in this world does katie couric just not exist or did katie current create her on-air name after watching the today show or do both katy kirk and katie current coincidentally exist within the same universe regardless of the answer i now hate everything and everyone you happy no you happy no deal everyone comes away from this satisfied but not completely overjoyed with the terms of the deal this is actually an incredibly enlightened negotiation and i did not expect that from this movie funeral scene does not contain black umbrellas and if it was a funeral black umbrella's cliche would we still sin it yes yes we would i got some news about the guy who took out frankie i've seen and send a lot of animated films and other type of kit films and i have to say without a doubt that is the most oddly placed fart joke i've ever seen i almost want to remove a sin for the ballsiness of it i said almost how about that titanic song making jokes about a 1997 celine dion hit in 2004 i look forward to all the return of the mack jokes that are sure to come later why does this one area of the ocean have so many goddamn magazine options oscar was able to afford a penthouse apartment after people believed he killed one shark quint got either 10 000 or 13 000 depending on how you read that scene in jaws for killing a shark even with inflation that means oscar still probably didn't clear much more than forty five thousand dollars that's not nothing but it's also not owning a penthouse kind of money also what story could oscar have told to make anyone believe he had killed a shark movie cheats by only showing him tell part of the story and furthermore that anchor lenny snapped the chain off of couldn't have gone too far bernie and ernie should have seen that when they saw oscar with the dead shark pound that dog pound it i love marty i really do but i never never never never want to hear him say pound that dog ever again my grandmother's pearl angie acts like this couldn't be a romantic gesture but this severely unreliable character not only returned your family heirloom but had it strung to a complete necklace sure it's not a romantic gesture because of the story but it sure would be if the writer spent more time making the character's emotions realistic and less time worrying about the digital model of times square now i don't forget anything and i never forget who my friends are but you seem to have forgotten how you almost screwed everything up by taking the five thousand dollars angie was nice enough to loan you and bet it on a 200 to one odd seahorse in a race we are supposed to be rooting for oscar right biceps triceps oscar is verbally flexing these muscles that fish do not physically have y'all kids got some skills they sure do they've invented spray paint that can create art underwater they should be rich living in the penthouse and if god forbid someone should no i don't know find out the truth about the shark's lair on my way back movie acts like this is just a threat to expose oscar but since the other fish are so scared of sharks that they are probably not going to stop and chat with lenny this is actually a threat to tell the other sharks who will in turn head to the reef for lunch and encounter the fish who are now bolstered by their overconfidence in the shark's lair and no longer hiding long story short all the fish are eaten in a violent bloodbath that was the threat made by our lovable lenny now waiting for the south side sharks number 15. sharks have a baseball league how does the ball travel very far through water how do the sharks hold the bats why did anyone think a new fire starter movie was a good idea i have so many questions ah hey a bag some more where not only does a shark need a bed but a shark sized bed is also available i'm i'm a vegetarian but he's not earlier he told his brother he would eat the fish after it died but he wouldn't kill them that's not the same as only eating vegetables what's with the wii i don't want any part of this jack black's comments after reading the script and before the studio added another zero to his paycheck somehow make their way into this movie i would like to pause for a moment during this dramatic fall to remind you that this is all taking place underwater and you tell don lame-o that i don't never ever ever ever ever never want to see another shark on this reef again this works at least for longer than it should an attempt to ride on a coattails of a far better will smith vehicle movie has the crowd start chanting oscar kill him with nothing more than the assumption that modern media has overloaded our children's frontal cortex to the point where they no longer have curious thoughts or the ability to pursue such a thought long enough to search the interwebs get your old credit here hold off the press ends wrong credits here you ain't know i had it in me did you was like a oscar splosion foreshadowing what has gotten into you me 20 000 leagues under the scoop hey come on it'll be okay i mean it will because the movie gods determine it has to but even though oscar will eventually realize the error of his ways and admit his falsehoods along with the convenient realization that he has always loved angie as well i will still never understand why angie doesn't kick his sorry ass back to the ocean but dreamworks has to disney i guess the whale wash has a sign that says whale wash right next to the wash itself which also has whale wash and large letters at the top of the building one piece of signage in that area would have done the trick this is why sykes never has any money he doesn't know how to manage his overhead shark tail perpetuates the myth that anyone likes caviar because it's not true no one actually likes caviar you can't handle the truth you've got shark crap when was the saturn put together the fight was earlier that day right after the fight did someone from the omintz company just happen to be there and get a shot of oscar popping a mint real quick if sharktail wants to correctly parody american advertising right next to this coral cola ad should be another ad for pepsi not a chance movie i refuse to search whether or not fish get hemorrhoids young love mistaking domestic abuse for young love thinking balloons and a box of generic chocolate will make up for being a total ass and oscar already knows that she loves kelpie cream more than anything so why isn't he at least making a stop there instead of this bullsh oscar did the tuna in this film need a history of persecution probably not but the need to make references for references sake was clearly weighted more heavily in most of the decision making for this film no matter how distasteful the joke i gotta find angie i need to tell her i love her no one will be seated during the wild day or won't day portion of the film rhymes with gosh give me that get out of here both of you don't be useless someplace else sykes hangs up the phone instead of seeing if he could help the customer lenny sykes just realizes that the obviously painted shark that's been working at his whale wash for some time now is an obviously painted shark this works at least for longer than it should well i say he's bluffing there's no way that lola's working with don leno now except no one who has ever seen a movie sebastian take her out sebastian acts more like a shark than a dolphin but no one notices good meeting we gotta go and one more thing instead of listening to sykes when the situation needs it our hero chooses to create forced tension by refusing to remember the lessons he's learned even just a few minutes after he's learned them swiping someone else's regurgitated license plate without their consent lenny what are you doing in there you know well friends like lenny and angie rushing into harm's way it would be really hard to root for oscar i know it gets murky but he's in fact our protagonist where's leno leno will come up behind oscar even though he was originally in front of him and about to be trapped by the whale wash devices i guess don leno has developed the movie tradition of convenient teleportation it's also known as the jason x so your son likes kelp so his best friend's a fish so he likes to dress like a dolphin writers forgot that lenny was dressed as a dolphin because he was hiding and not because he wanted to we cool right i mean like the reef is safe yeah we're cool yeah i get that he's not angry anymore but sharks are still at the top of this food chain and they're going to get hungry again right you've lost everything you lied so hard to achieve with the exception of all that money he made from the advertisements maybe he can't live in the penthouse anymore but he's not exactly broke yo dog the interesting choice to end your movie with martin scorsese appropriating pimp culture we won't play the song but everyone is singing about working at a car wash when they are clearly working at a whale wash you think this is funny what am i clownfield also movie is trying to pass off graffiti as detailing you can't fool me twice i'm katie currant in a reef 95 scallop cold heavy creams who's your pup daddy [Music] are you not entertained you can't handle the truth you had [Music] lady you're looking at a man who can catch a whale with a toothpick you kidding me mom's not here they're coming to get you barbara stop it you're ignorant they're coming for you barbara lenny lenny look at me i am looking at you now look at me the way i'm looking at you who could have done this um one more thing the next time you see mrs o'connor will you tell her something for me my nephew won two prizes the other day second prize for a needlepoint contest first prize for weightlifting you mean you yeah when the anchor liar liar pants on fire indigestion there's all kinds of gas that's good like your new apartment it's awesome wow oh wow oh hey there young fella bringing me good news today

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 703,601

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, will smith, jack black, robert de niro, angelina jolie, martin scorsese, renee zellweger, dreamworks, parody, animated, cg animation, cg film, cg movie, shark tale

Id: XydrvbWm8Cw

Length: 15min 56sec (956 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 26 2022