BOB: Hey. So my last video on CinemaSins was 4
years ago, and in it I made a claim. I said that CinemaSins weren’t
going to “improve their content”, and that their videos would
“continue being long and wrong”. I’m making this video to see if I was right. And also because people keep asking me to make
these damn things so Merry Christmas I guess. Part 1 is going to be recapping what’s happened
since my last video on CinemaSins was released. Part 2 is all about what CinemaSins’
operation currently looks like, and part 3 will be me elucidating
a major reason why CinemaSins is terrible that I neglected to
mention in previous videos. Let's get this over with. A few things have happened since Sustaining
Stupidity that I simply have to comment on. The first of which being that, no, I am not the guy in the car at
the beginning of that video. That was Jeremy Scott, the narrator
for most CinemaSins videos. It’s extremely funny to me how many
ardent CS defenders did not realize this. All you guys do is listen to this dude talk
and you didn’t even recognize his voice? Secondly: CinemaSins have removed a lot
of their videos I used as evidence for my arguments, including the same
video that caused people to think I was jeremy - the one where he rants
about the live action Winnie the Pooh movie and admits that the channel was
entirely about criticizing Hollywood. The videos on their “unlearning channel” are
now all gone too, so if you were looking for someone to be weirdly antagonistic about breast
cancer awareness month then you’re out of luck. Even this tweet referring to their video on
The Watchmen is gone, which is… kinda weird? Feels like Jeremy or Chris just looked at
the references I had in my video description and nuked everything they could instead of… uh, I dunno. Defending themselves with pointed responses? Leaving the content I reference
up and owning their mistakes? Truly the funniest thing CinemaSins
has ever done is prove that their channel dedicated to criticizing
movies can’t handle criticism. The one ding to rule them all. Makes me wish I linked to their channel in
my video description so they'd delete that. Something else that got removed after
my video went up were all of Jeremy’s “Before and After Movie Reviews”
on his CinemaSins Jeremy channel - AKA the vids where Jeremy and
some other person talk in a car about a movie right before and after they see it. I used these reviews to prove without a doubt
that Everything Wrong With videos contain at least some criticism due to the fact that Jeremy would
often repeat the same criticisms in both videos. And now they're gone for some reason. Weird. This is more meaningful than it seems though - see, in 2015 Screen Junkies debuted
a new series called “The Review Crew” that consisted of some folks driving out to see
a movie and reviewing it afterward in a car. Jeremy had already made “Before and
After Movie Reviews” by that point, so he accused them of plagiarism. Fans from both sides started going
after each other at this point, resulting in a few people pointing out to Jeremy
that the idea of reviewing movies in a car, 1. Was too broad a concept to copyright, and 2. Had already been done by another
channel called the Creature Hub. Eventually Jeremy backed off his feckless
copyright claim and made nice with Screen Junkies. I’m bringing this up because, well… It's funny. But also because it proves that Jeremy
was proud enough of his show to accuse others of stealing its premise. But then I use it as proof in my video
that Everything Wrong With videos are dumb and suddenly every single Before
and After Review just disappears? Murderers don't hide this much evidence! [EDITOR’S NOTE: this is a joke i’m
not literally accusing cinemasins of murder lol] Also, I'm aware that CinemaSins made a Part 2 to
their “Everything Wrong With CinemaSins” video in which they passive-aggressively respond to some
of the claims in my video by misrepresenting them. Which is either cute or embarrassing depending
on what your opinion is of spineless things. There’s really nothing to comment on
here because of course the people who make a living off not paying attention to
movies didn’t pay attention to my video. Anyways, I largely don’t respond
to comments on my videos anymore but let me just broadly address some
criticism to Sustaining Stupidity. Dear CinemaSins fans: if you like Everything Wrong With videos and don’t think
about it any more than that: Fine. I get it. Enjoy what you enjoy. But when you deploy that excuse
while simultaneously freaking out on me when I dislike the thing you like,
it kinda makes you look like hypocrites. If you get to like something for no
reason, I get to dislike it for no reason. Except I actually have a bunch of
reasons to not like the thing you like, but such is the hole you have dug for yourselves. I’ve also been accused numerous times of
being “jealous” of CinemaSins, which is a fun little trap of a non-criticism because
if I deny it that just makes me look jealous. Also, even if I was jealous, does
that somehow invalidate my criticisms? Regardless, I'll take the
bait here and just say that, no, I am not jealous of CinemaSins. See, making videos for me isn’t
entirely about making money or doing numbers - it’s about saying something. Getting my point across. Expressing myself. And doing all those things without
compromising my core values. If I were to do what
CinemaSins does for a living - mindlessly deconstruct films
like a cinema slaughterhouse to remove the heart and profit off the muscle - I'm not kidding when I say
that it would drive me insane. Even doing this video has reminded
me why I stopped making these things. I cannot do what CinemaSins
does, and I don't want to. It’s not worth my time, and honestly,
it’s not worth theirs either. So I’ve been… keeping a secret
from you guys for a few years now. The thing is, right after releasing
my Sustaining Stupidity video, a writer for CinemaSins reached out to me to talk
about things they could do to improve the channel. Yes, I know, I just destroyed
some of your minds by pointing out that CinemaSins has writers
- pause if you need a moment. Anyways, I won’t say who it was because Chris and Jeremy might delete them like they do to
everything else that makes them look bad, but what I will say is that I provided this
person with nearly 800 words of advice, ranging from “research everything you say”, to “watch the movies you sin multiple times”. Now, the ending of my Sustaining Stupidity video was all about how I didn't have faith
CinemaSins would change anything. After all Chris and Jeremy are internet marketers, and those folks absolutely exude
“if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. It’s heretical for a marketer
to leave a profitable formula on the table - it simply isn’t done. So when this writer reached
out to me, suddenly I thought… Was I wrong? Did I judge CinemaSins too harshly? This person is engaging me in
what seems to be good faith. So I took some of the original ending that I had for my video - the stuff on how they
could improve - and sent it along. Now, this was met with a barrage of replies
defending CinemaSins from the fixes I proposed and I stopped responding because this person
was clearly not interested in what I had to say, but I had never thought I'd have this
kind of access to their operation. This was a good sign, right? Maybe… maybe they could change after all? Let’s grab a recent example of
an Everything Wrong With video. “Everything Wrong with The Suicide
Squad in 17 minutes or less”. Yeah, they’re still doing the “in
x minutes or less” thing after cheekily experimenting with variations of it. “Everything Wrong with Catwoman
in meow minutes or less”. No idea why they stopped making this comedy gold. So you know how CinemaSins had a running gag complaining about “x seconds of
logos” at the start of movies? This Suicide Squad video starts with 55
seconds of an ad for a wine loot crate. That’s nearly a full minute shilling for a wine subscription service that by
all accounts seems to suck ass. Reviews range from “The wine tastes like nothing”, to “I can’t unsubscribe from
their incessant emails”, to numerous “They won’t let me cancel my
membership and keep charging my credit card”. Fun fact: if a subscription service forces you to
enter your credit card info for a “free trial”, that means part of their business
model relies on you accidentally forgetting you’ve subscribed and
hoping you won’t ask for a refund. Though these Bright Cellars folks seem to have
taken that scam to the next level by straight up charging you incessantly without even
delivering what you originally ordered. This person got charged $345.26 for
what was supposed to be $40 of wine. CinemaSins really knows how to pick ‘em. With such a penchant for promoting scams next
thing you know they’ll be getting into NFTs. Alright, let’s continue with “Everything
Spoilers Wrong Duh With The Suicide Squad”. As much as I want to act surprised
that absolutely nothing about this presentation has changed aside
from their new templatized intro, I'm just…not.. gonna. Of course they’re still using the exact same
Premiere project file that they used years ago. These are the “if it ain’t broke” folks after all. Though I feel the need to stress
a criticism I levied nearly 5 years ago in my first Everything Wrong
With ‘Everything Wrong With’ video: What’s the point of the movie sin timer? In their first few videos I guess
it was a joke to nail home the idea that these videos were trying to
point stuff out as fast as possible, kinda like the timer was a stopwatch, but CinemaSins clearly don’t
give a damn about that anymore. I mean this video is 17 minutes long. At least the “long” part of my “long
and wrong” prediction was accurate. Also, on the CinemaSins’ sister channel TV Sins, they don’t have a timer on their videos. So, why. Why? I’m so confused. CINEMASINS: “Michael Rooker appears
in a James Gunn film” cliche. BOB: Still doing the cliche “joke” I guess. FYI: both Michael Rooker AND Nathan Fillion
have been in all of James Gunn’s movies, so I don’t know why they didn’t also
make this joke when Nathan pops up later. CINEMASINS: Cool hero shot,
but why is giant American flag? This may be an aircraft takeoff zone
but it’s still a f*cking prison. For-profit prisons in the U.S. do
not wastefully spend any money, let alone on something a stupid as an
American flag as big as a football field. BOB: Okay dude, this is a movie. The giant American flag is clearly symbolic. This guy? His name is Rick Flag for Christ’s sake. CinemaSins’ observation is one step removed
from criticizing Savant’s blood forming into “Warner Bros Pictures Presents”
later on and being like “How convenient that this blood
forms into these specific words!” It’s not insightful, it’s not funny. It’s just… Nothing. Also: “For-profit prisons don’t
wastefully spend any money”? Yeah, I'm sure the CEOs profiting off America's horrible incarceration rates
really earned their paychecks. FLO: What does Savant do again? EMILIA: It’s Brian Durlin. He’s an expert
in weapons and hand-to-hand combat. CINEMASINS: Thank you, now I know that savant
is basically “good with guns” I’m sure I will have no problem understanding what he brings
to the team that is different from the likes of Deadshot, Deathstroke, Peacemaker,
Rick Flag, Blackguard, Harley Quinn, and basically 90% of every
Suicide Squad we’ve ever seen. BOB: Yeah, a lot of these characters
boil down to “good with guns” and… That’s the joke. The same joke inherent in Peacemaker
and Bloodsport’s rivalry early on. JOHN: Who the fuck is Bloodsport? WALLER: Robert DuBois. A world-class marksman. In his hands anything is a deadly weapon. His father was a mercenary who trained his
son to kill from the moment he was born. WALLER: Each member of the team is chosen for his
or her own completely unique set of abilities. This is Christopher Smith, known as Peacemaker. In his hands anything is a deadly weapon. His father was a soldier who trained his
son how to kill from the moment he was born. BLOODSPORT: Are you having a laugh? WALLER: What? BLOODSPORT: You just said each member of the
team is chosen for their unique abilities. He does exactly what I do. PEACEMAKER: But better. BLOODSPORT: I always hit my targets dead center. PEACEMAKER: I hit them more in the center. BLOODSPORT: You can’t hit
something more in the center. PEACEMAKER: I use smaller bullets. BLOODSPORT: What. PEACEMAKER: They go inside your bullet
holes without even touching the side. BOB: They’re trying to prove
who’s the ~best~ with guns. The joke with Rooker's character is that he’s being made to seem like the
main character of the movie, but he dies immediately. Gunn is playing with our expectations
here by showing a parallel character to the original Suicide Squad film’s main character - Will “Deadshot” Smith - yet another character that’s good with
guns, or more specifically has great aim - and using that fact to hammer home
how replaceable these characters are. I mean the whole damn point of the Suicide Squad
is that they’re regarded by Waller as not special. WALLER: FUCK! Turn around now God dammit! You dumb pieces of shit! MOTHERFUCKER! GOD DAMMIT TASK FORCE X, THIS IS YOUR LAST MOTHERFUCKING WARNING! BOB: Which is later subverted by
the emotional climax of this story. JAVELIN: Your name is letters? BOOMERANG: All names are letters dickhead. CINEMASINS: Boomerang would
be amazing at CinemaSins! BOB: Considering Boomerang
spends both Suicide Squad movies being an annoying prick, you ain’t wrong. FLAG: Did anyone check on
whether Weasel could swim? CINEMASINS: Regardless, how about
somebody just gives him a hand anyway? You know, just in case he is, in fact, drowning? Savant waits until he is f*cking sinking before
finally deciding to help the poor rat-bastard. BOB: I’ve pointed this out before in another
video but it’s actually dangerous to rescue someone who’s drowning and panicking if
you don’t have a flotation device and aren’t trained to do so, because in their
panic they can accidentally drown you too. This is called “rescuer drowning”. Also I just want to point out that not
checking if Weasel could swim is 1. A hint of the slaughter that’s to come, and 2. Really funny. CINEMASINS: Harley survives all of
this, mostly due to her plot armor. BOB: Forgetting that there’s a giant
plot point about Silvio Luna wanting Harley to be his wife because the Corto
Maltesians consider her an anti-American symbol so they’d absolutely have
orders to capture her alive - Rick Flag also survives this, but CinemaSins only care
about Harley for some reason. Reminds me of how much they hate
Black Widow from the Marvel movies. I’m sure there’s some common denominator here… but I can't put my finger on it. Oh well. CINEMASINS: Honestly, I am not prepared
to allow my brain to process this. Harley, take this one for me would you? HARLEY: What the fuck? BOB: Yeah cool joke CinemaSins, but
it was funnier when the movie made it. CINEMASINS: I am fully aware of how
toxic some office workplaces can be, but this movie seems to be going
to extreme lengths to make sure these people are as unlikable as possible. Celebrating their winnings is
gross, but I can kind of see it. But why is this guy flipping off the
pictures of the deceased as well? BOB: The character Steve Agee is flipping
off in this scene is Weasel, who, as mentioned earlier in the film, kills children. [LAUGHTER] FLAG: Hey hey hey, he’s not a werewolf,
okay? He’s a weasel, he’s harmless. I mean, he’s not harmless, he’s killed
27 children, but y’know, we got him to… I think he’s agreed to do this. BOB: So yeah Weasel fucking
sucks, it’s ok to flip him off. CINEMASINS: Why movie, why do
you want me to hate these people? BOB: What the movie is doing
here is using Waller’s crew to highlight both how expendable
the people on this mission are, which ramps up the tension when we get attached
to Team 2’s crew, while also providing a baseline on how the crew feels about Suicide Squads
so they can have a change of heart later. So they start the movie being entertained by Team
1’s deaths, and end up being attached to Team 2. Kinda like… the audience? Do you fucking get it? CINEMASINS: And with this bird-vengeance I present to you the only thing that comes
close to a fully realized story arc. BOB: [SIGHS] Ok. I think you mean “character
arc” and not “story arc”, but even then you’d be wrong because a
character arc happens to a single character. The bird that you’re saying got
“bird-vengeance” is another, different bird than the one Savant killed
earlier, so this doesn’t really qualify. Additionally, if this is legit criticism it’s wrong: there are character
arcs all over The Suicide Squad. Bloodsport alone has a bunch, like
him getting over his fear of rats, learning to be a leader, learning to be a father, learning to be selfless, learning how to be part of a team. King Shark exists almost entirely
to have an arc about making friends. Polka-dot man has an arc about overcoming
his circumstances to become a superhero. Ratcatcher 2 has one about validating her father. Harley Quinn has a powerful arc continuing from
previous DCEU films regarding her taste in men. HARLEY: When your taste in men is as bad as
mine, they don’t just go away quietly, they… Slash your tires and they kill your dogs and… Tell you that the music you like
ain’t real music at all and… All the cruelty… Tears you apart after a while. BOB: But even knowing all this, I still
pause when commenting here because… maybe it IS a joke? Maybe I'm missing something? Maybe they said “story arc” on purpose knowing it
was wrong as a clue that this comment is bullshit? After all, they say they make incorrect
statements on purpose sometimes. And herein lies the reason why CinemaSins
presents their content as satire, or parody, or an act, or whatever they want to call it: to sow enough doubt about their dumbass
operation that you don’t criticize them. Because, again: the criticism
channel cannot handle criticism. WALLER: Your mission is to infiltrate Jotunheim- CINEMASINS: Of all the names in all
the collected history of humanity, why did the writers pick Jotunheim? It’s as if they thought, “Hmm
everyone loves those Thor movies, maybe we can steal some good will via osmosis”. BOB: Jotunheim is a reference to
the similar stronghold built by nazis that appeared in the very first
Suicide Squad comic from May 1987. Gotta check my math but I'm pretty sure
that predates the first Thor movie. WALLER: That is an overhead projector. RATCATCHER 2: Do you ever use it anymore? WALLER: No, not really. RATCATCHER 2: So… why don’t
you just throw it away? CINEMASINS: Ratcatcher 2 would be… God, all of these fools would rule at CinemaSins! BOB: Nanaue in particular. KING SHARK: Book read. PEACEMAKER: Wow. Hah, book’s upside down.
You see that? He’s pretending to read a book. KING SHARK: So smart me. Enjoy book so much. JAVELIN: You are the only
one fit to carry my javelin. CINEMASINS: Oh fine, it’s cool when
the British guy says it but when I said the exact same thing in college it
somehow meant I was being a creepy jerk. BOB: Time to remind y’all
that CinemaSins has writers. Someone was paid to write this. And also this: CINEMASINS: The titi monkey,
sometimes called the titty monkey by ignorant Americans
with a fondness for breasts- BOB: If you didn’t catch that:
the joke here is the word “titty”. CINEMASINS: In my admittedly dated experience
of slumber parties, I always found it was a good idea to “expel one’s polka dots” before
settling in for bed. Especially in mixed company. BOB: Did Jeremy think it was a normal thing to jerk off at slumber parties? Is
that the… is that where the joke is- oh my god what the fuck JOHN: Oh my God I’m good at my job, I found him. CINEMASINS: Seems more like the
computer found him, or the satellite. You were literally leaning back drinking a
soda so I don’t know how you did anything. BOB: He ran the search to find
Rick Flag in the first place. This is like a teen telling their parents “I
didn't search for porno, my computer did!” SILVIO: Forgive my appearance, Senorita Quinn. CINEMASINS: Apologizing for something
you have complete control over. Seriously, Luna clearly arranged for all of
these people to be here for Harley's arrival and now he’s acting as if his anaconda
don’t want none and wasn’t thusly prepared. BOB: Here’s CinemaSins being so, so frustratingly close to realizing that Silvio Luna
did this on purpose to entice Harley. RATCATCHER 2: We lived homeless in the streets of- CINEMASINS: Skip! BOB: Well if there’s one thing that’s different
about CinemaSins current content vs their old stuff it’s that now they’re outright
bragging about not paying attention. This is more fucked up considering Ratcatcher
2’s relationship with her father plays a critical role in The Suicide
Squad’s emotional denouement. But yeah, sure. “Skip”. RATCATCHER 2: The state
considered the rats a weapon! CINEMASINS: I don’t think
I can fault the state here. You have already used the rats as a weapon
in the last couple days, so… why the tears? BOB: Ratcatcher 2’s comment here
is less about the technicalities of using animals as weapons, which yes - legally speaking, using a dog while robbing
a bank is considered “armed robbery”. But the thing you should be paying attention to is
that ratcatcher 2 doesn’t view them as weapons - that idea’s ridiculous to her because in her
mind they’re partners, friends, and family. Also: She’s crying because she
just told a story of how her father died of a drug overdose you fucking clown. CINEMASINS: Yes, these guys are assassin guys,
borderline superhero-ish with abilities, but… They can still die in a horrible rollover crash. And yet they intentionally kill the driver,
then when the passenger takes over driving, they take him out too! What the shit? BOB: To be fair it was Peacemaker alone who
shot the driver and strangled the other guy, keeping in line with Peacemaker’s
penchant for fucking up. CINEMASINS: I mean… if you’re
going to be strangled to death… BOB: Okay, I seriously didn’t expect to come
back to commenting on CinemaSins videos thinking I’d have to deal with not just horniness, but
horniness on a level I’ve never seen before, adding torture of this
already torturous experience. BLOODSPORT: Input the emergency code. Now! CINEMASINS: Why would they have given
the emergency front-door-lock code to the scientist working on experiments inside
the building? This is a military-run facility! BOB: A facility housing a giant interstellar
starfish capable of zombifying humans. It seems like a good idea that everyone working on the project has the code to
make sure it doesn’t get out. CINEMASINS: Movie has time for this “shark jumping side-to-side while the fish
mimic his shape” bullshit. I’m not sure we’d have time for
this crap in a movie titled “Shark Jumps Side-to-Side While Fish Mimic His Shape”. BOB: Yeah movie, CinemaSins are
only here to profit off feeling smart by nitpicking and misunderstanding you. They don’t have time for this
“endearing character moment” crap. CINEMASINS: I know we all love King
Shark, but the amount of bullets being unloaded into him is enough to take down a
tank, let alone a super strong sea animal. BOB: No questions about the technology that
lets Ratcatcher 2 telepathically control rats on a massive scale, but you draw the
line at “Why come King Shark bulletproof?” CINEMASINS: Some bullsh*t. BOB: This is a genuinely cool and fun scene, I really don’t know what CinemaSins
is looking for in a movie. RATCATCHER 2: I knew Sebastian
sensed good in you for a reason! CINEMASINS: I’m sorry. This
is nitpicky even for me, but- BOB: I’m just going to spare you all
from 33 seconds of pointless semantic whinging to stress this sin is 33 full
seconds of pointless semantic whinging. BLOODSPORT: Harley, take the high ground. CINEMASINS: What? She has a spear! You have guns and grenades and arrows and all kinds of
sh*t! Why is she taking the high ground? BOB: Starro has one obvious
weak point: its giant eyeball. Harley can’t hit it from ground
level without throwing her spear. A good tactic would be for her to get
up high and drop down onto Starro’s eye. Oh look, that’s exactly what she does. Weird. CINEMASINS: I bet nearly ⅓ of this film’s
entire budget went to the CGI of the climax. BOB: How is that a bad thing? I’d say it’s pretty common for the climax of
a movie to have more spectacle than the rest. God damn CG artists getting
paid for their hard work. CINEMASINS: While you may
be tempted to marvel at the underwater gracefulness of Harley and the rats, I’m here to remind you that this
is not water: it’s eyeball juice. BOB: Eyeball juice - aka
vitreous humor - is 98% water. For comparison, oceans are 96.5% water. So the last sin I'm gonna talk about is… a lot. During the finale of The Suicide Squad, Task Force X has defied Waller to save Corto Maltese
from Starro, risking their lives to do so. During this confrontation
Polka-Dot Man gets killed while Bloodsport and Ratcatcher 2 nearly die. Starro speaks through one of
its puppeted humans and says… STARRO: THIS. CITY. IS. MINE. BOB: Leading Ratcatcher 2 to say… RATCATCHER 2: This city isn’t yours. This city isn’t ours. This city is theirs! BOB: Thousands upon thousands of rats
appear and start climbing up Starro, and then this scene happens. RATCATCHER 2: Why rats papa? RATCATCHER 1: Rats are the lowliest and
most despised of all creatures my love. If they have purpose, so do we all. BOB: This is such an emotional gutpunch and the
major reason why I love this movie so much. And the fact that it comes out of nowhere
in a DCEU gorefest makes it so much better. Using the rats as a metaphor
for not only the Suicide Squad, but for anyone who feels
their life is meaningless, the movie shows us that purpose is just
waiting to be found by any anyone and everyone. And what does CinemaSins have to say? CINEMASINS: Taking your pre-teen daughter up to deadly heights just to
teach a lesson about purpose. Also how the fuck did they even
get up there? They’re not Batman! BOB: So the whole reason I started
making fun of CinemaSins was to point out that the people who make and consume
“Everything Wrong With” videos are trying desperately to look and feel smart, but in
the end they just prove how impressively hard one can miss the entire point of why we
tell each other stories in the first place. Rejecting emotional resonance
doesn’t make you intelligent, it disconnects you from your feelings. It makes you numb. Look, I don't hate Jeremy Scott or Chris
Atkinson or any of the CinemaSins writers. I don’t hate CinemaSins fans either, not even the guy who wanted to fight
me in real life. [EDITOR’S NOTE: lmao] It may sound like I do but I really don’t. I just passionately disagree with how
CinemaSins has chosen to make money. They exist entirely to profit
off of films, but there’s an unintended consequence to their content that
I've only recently been able to put into words: they promote intellectual intelligence as
a substitute for emotional intelligence. They spread the idea that a movie can and
should be judged not by whether it succeeds or fails at conveying an emotion, but whether or not
someone used a superfluous prepositional phrase. It’s enough to make me want to ask them to
stop, but of course they won’t. They can’t. The moment CinemaSins pauses to
reflect on what they’re doing their whole operation will crumble to the ground, because critical thought and consideration is
antithetical to their entire business model. For them, there’s no time to feel. There’s only time to mindlessly nitpick twice a
week until the heat death of the fucking universe. If this video leaves you with
anything, I want it to be this: Movies exist to emotionally connect with others. To make us feel something. To make us feel resentment, excitement, terror, apprehension, fear, hate, love… Feeling something - anything
- is proof that you’re alive. So ignore CinemaSins and
people like them, and just… Just fucking live.
