Everything Wrong With A Nightmare On Elm Street - Original, 1984

oh I guess I owe Marvel an apology the original King of seizure-inducing studio logos is New Line Cinema Jesus I need to sit down movie opens with some kind of picture-in-picture bullsh image sighs and I don't like it credits font is one degree away from Comic Sans let's see I can enter the dreams of children and my first thought for a weapon is finger knives discount Jennifer Grey like I legitimately thought this was Jennifer Grey for a second why is this hallway soaking wet was there a burst pipe or something yes believe it or not there was a time in this world when Johnny Depp needed introducing ah goats wait I'm not scared of goats movie unintentionally inspires the finale de Terminator 2 Judgment Day so what do you dream forget it Tina the point is that everyone has a bad dream once in a while no she Nancy she asked what your dream was not some condescending thing you tell a four-year-old after a nightmare [Applause] Glen gets a sound effects tape from his friend to fool his mom into thinking he's staying at a place near the airport but for a larious comic relief he somehow doesn't know that car crashes and women screaming are also on this tape remember when I wouldn't tell you a minute ago because I felt the need to tell you how bad dreams work I think this movie is actually set in present-day 1980s but threats still come at a 1950s style pace shrug and tackle cliche Oh intense huh rod decides to bring a gardening tool to the party he crashes for pretty much zero reason other than foreshadowing so what's going on here an orgy or something maybe a funeral [ __ ] without warning movie suddenly turns into West Side Story Tina allows rod to put his rod inside of her also teen pregnancy that's the real nightmare am i right I feel better now right man fix Jay Tina was broken because she's a woman I guess anyway man penis solves all problems no more fights no more fights man I miss high school when you still had some sort of belief that your thoughts weren't delusions Jesus is a dicta high school girls Fred Krueger really wants to murder these kids but sometimes in the dream world colors are limited by physical walls next time use the window Freddy spooky an iconic image from Nightmare on Elm Street franchise accidentally inspires spooky an iconic balloon men from car dealerships it's funny because it's true okay so rod isn't dreaming right now this is real which means in the real world people can levitate to the ceiling also these peacocks are hideous rod is wondering how his penis can fix this yeah [ __ ] people walking by somehow didn't notice the kidnapping maneuver that rod just pulled in broad daylight jeez dude if you knew this guy you think as a killer was gonna go after your daughter what took you so long to go back there and save her what the hell were you doing going to school today for anyway dad calm schools his daughter for going to school when her going to school was the basis for his entire operation yep that pretty much explains it I know Fred he likes to play around with his victims but damn he doesn't have much time and he keeps waiting so long that he lets them get away lots of times I'm sure maybe he's just a patient guy he knows they have to sleep sometime and he'll get them eventually but if I was bent on getting revenge through kids dreams I'd want to kill them as soon as possible especially if they've already escaped me twice Nancy's mom randomly knocks on the door to give this out of nowhere warning about sleep drowning falling leaf ready once again probably not approved by the FDA also name on the label is extremely handy and telling people exactly what the pills inside it do I'm having horrible nightmares and my best friend just got murdered by someone in my dreams what stay awake watching Evil Dead also this is 1984 and it looks like she's only got UHF VHF TV with no cable which network is playing the Evil Dead at this hour she even has a book to read who tries to stay awake reading books who builds something on their house that is basically a perfect ladder street to their teenage daughter's room also Glen randomly comes at the perfect time to set up another scary scene uh-huh I guess this is some sort of in-joke because she is 20 years old but no you don't come on 20 when you're 17 is 20 considered old crazy favor to ask you if it doesn't involve sex I don't care nothing Julie I'm guessing there's a scene that was cut or not filmed where Nancy saw Tina get zipped up in a body bag and that's why she keeps streaming of it the scary part is not that she's dead and visiting Nancy and her dreams the scary part is that all this is rods actual unborn baby so we all dodged a bullet there ah Fred you were just inches away from killing her for the fourth time in this movie and you went made two big rookie mistakes dream garbage can slow Freddy down in a world where he creates the rules Nancy dreams in film continuity errors window did not have a crack at it before but does now so that it can be easily smashed hey dreams are tough out there in the hood why would this dream set up booby traps tears but once she got to the second floor allow her to run without a problem damn Fred you've only successfully killed one person in this movie so far you might want to tone down the wisecracks and jump scares and get on with the killing a little faster next time also how can Freddy slice people up in the dream world and the results show up in the real world but other stuff he does like smashing through doors and slashing pillows totally doesn't carry over to the real world remember he sliced Tina's nightgown earlier and it showed up in the real world so it's not just the physical body that's affected fast Nancy calls Glen a bastard for failing his guard duties but first of all he didn't come to your room in the middle of the night to watch you sleep second if you have promised him at least a boob flash for doing this job he might have been more alert single pillow feathers suggest that maybe the pillow did get sliced after all but pillow is intact so I'm confused Ron sleeps in his leather jacket because those things are super comfortable when sleeping in jail also this is spooky and all but why does pretty bother to hang the guy does he think that if he used his finger knives that these cops would crack the case and start doing sleep studies to catch him in the dream world furthermore what is Ron dreaming about so that Freddy can do this to him this killing is all too sneaky for what we've seen in this movie so far did the police really consider this case unsolved I mean yeah we know there's a guy killing kids and dreams but they don't and it would be a pretty open-and-shut case without that knowledge because rod is a nice sort of guy with priors also this murder is sneaky but it's also the slowest murder since the horribly slow murderer with extremely inefficient weapon why would Nike agree to this kind of product placement hey guys I'm gonna get those shoes that [ __ ] rod wore during a violent hanging scene cool huh more than three people show up to Ron's funeral also we didn't even get to see Tina's funeral I only knew about rod was that he was a dick and he gets a whole funeral scene slice and his death attest to the scriptures warning but he who lives by the sword shall die buns damn that's some [ __ ] to be saying it at funeral these people actually like rod for some reason so dick move from the priest there rather than show you Freddy Krueger once again failing at killing Nancy movie has a swatch Barbra Jean and the future voice of Roger Rabbit watching Nancy sleep pretties allowing kids to steal his hat what kind of psycho killer is this what you're trying to learn the dream clinic is your refrigerator running time to get a teenager to hold it back wanton destruction of delicious booze somebody forgot to sign a search warrant in the right place and Krueger was free just like that oh come on doesn't the signature itself constitute a more or less proper search warrant why not just say that someone forgot the search warrant it would have been more believable than this signature in the wrong police technicality letting a child murderer loose we didn't realize was the burning child murderers sent them into dominion over the dream world and it would take 15 years for him to return and kill their kids in their sleep I knew we shouldn't have invited that coven of witches to tag along but we were real liberal back then because mommy killed him and dozens of other parents but I'm brave enough to take credit Glenn's room is an orgy of evidence that he's into nearly every damn thing there is to be into also Nike socks damn girl you won't even sleep with your boyfriend normal style and you're proposing a threesome are you crazy I don't know I never really thought this through but what I do know is all jocks have baseball bats that's for sure and you've got a bottle of stay a week here another one in the background and a huge pot of coffee on the TV movie encourages addictive lifestyles a hidden coffee pot might be one of the first signs that you have a problem seriously I could recut this whole movie into an after-school special if I needed to and include the moms drinking r-rated movie teases the [ __ ] out of us for no damn reason also I guess when you're hunting psycho killers better dressed to impress Glenn's creeping father doesn't approve of Nancy but apparently is a big fan of the show she just put on in her bedroom I don't care what you say I don't want that kid anything you say a creeper alcoholic father who was just introduced to his 10 seconds ago I would send this for the convenience a Nancy opens her door just as Nancy's mom happens to be pulling out yet another bottle of alcohol but I get the feeling that 95% of Nancy's mom's time is spent finding secret alcohol stashes and exploiting them Glenn's balls turn into a mini TV also Glenn felt the need to label his headphones with his name you know just in case in 1984 he was wearing them at school listening to his ipod and left them somewhere these kids that's all let's go as a matter of fact Glenn's dad just wandered into this picture a minute ago and suddenly becomes the movie's plot Lord so this guy could travel through the phone lines now our phone lines and the dream world connected somehow she's definitely not dreaming at least I don't think she is the stupid ending that makes us reconsider the entire last 20 minutes of this movie hasn't happened yet what are you the narrator but Glenn's dad just went overboard yep his name is Glenn but I do enjoy worrying about people by calling out their direct relationship to me oh no my brother oh no my boss oh no my barbershop quartet Jesus finally that blood from the shining just can't find the right door can it mom screaming her lungs out does not attract the attention of Glenn's dad who was so important five minutes ago how does Glenn's dad not know about the blood bath upstairs was the outside drinking beer and looking in windows this whole time without a clue in the world just come here exactly 20 minutes Nancy knows exactly the length of time it will take her to go to sleep fight Freddy Kreuger and bring him out into the real world you know what that 80s synth music means right time for a montage I think it's safe to say for this scene alone the entire home alone franchise is indebted to Nightmare on Elm Street also apparently reading a book on booby traps makes you an expert on making booby traps also Nancy told her dad to break down the door in 20 minutes these tasks alone would take 20 minutes or more Nancy's mom's pillows aren't piles of liquor bottles oops spoke too soon [Music] Lord's Prayer cliche last four words of the Lord's Prayer inspire way we were stressed Craven movie 26 years later okay let's see in 20 minutes Glenn died the entire city went to Glenn's house and Nancy strung up an entire books worth of booby traps it should be about 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. right now but I'll just go with it did the composer of this film try to emulate the ending of the song Dream Weaver because if he did that's awesome and sinful all at once freddy is a big believer in 7th time's the charm now we know why it was so helpful the Glen labeled his headphones I don't know how you managed to dream and be alert to arrest a psycho killer but I guess you can just teach yourself lucid dreaming after several pots of coffee and copious bottles of stay awake what are you waiting for [ __ ] Freddy who we have seen appear in one place and out of nowhere in the next is contained by simple doors when the plot requires noticeable crack in window to help people smash through it is noticeable again define slow because you're already there for me good god this is Nancy's mom's room how did it not blow up as soon as Freddie ran inside door shuts for no damn reason other than to provide jump scares for [ __ ] you remember how you killed the three other people in this movie you didn't say anything you just did it you're nothing what worked seriously you weren't saying things the power was inside you oh yeah I'm gonna stop drinking I just don't feel like it anymore dream is giving obvious clues to Nancy that this is a dream horror movie wants to have the gotcha ending but it basically renders the previous scene and everything we sat through entirely moot why did Freddy disappear after Nancy told him to [ __ ] off if he had this kind of power he should have succeeded a lot sooner than this and this [ __ ] is multitasking plus we already saw her die once but maybe that was just Nancy's dream so is this Nancy's mom's dream now I have no clue what happened in this movie [Music] I can't feel my legs Kizer yeah this is real life [Music] it's like I picked the wrong week with amphetamines your mother sucks [ __ ] in hell yeah give me the key mother I'm the gatekeeper are you the keymaster say you know I know I should have made a left turn at Albuquerque [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] you know if these kids in this movie had eat more healthy and energizing snacks maybe they wouldn't be falling asleep on the door maybe snacks or Freddy Krueger's true enemy regardless naturebox want you to try their five most popular snacks for free yes free [Music] now go to naturebox.com/tyler box sent to your door free snacks 5 I'm honestly not sure how you're still watching this video but since you are let me repeat the opportunity in front of you you face stuffed with deliciousness because you watched a video and went to a website it's that freaking easy you're welcome and probably also be decreasing your chances of falling asleep too much and facing off with Freddy Krueger by like 5 percent or something again you're welcome naturebox calm down and don't look back

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 6,672,107

Keywords: everything wrong with, nightmare on elm street, wave jockey job, cinemasins, eww, everything wrong with a nightmare on elm street, A Nightmare On Elm Street (Film), review, cinema sins, movie review, a nightmare on elm street review

Id: V37jD-xitqI

Length: 14min 32sec (872 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 21 2014