Everything Wrong With Halloween (1978)

ah donald trump so carpenter was already getting his name above the title before he even had one hit this would be the equivalent of m night shyamalan's sixth sense exactly 22 days before the kennedy assassination coincidence jesus could this house look more uninviting to trick-or-treaters the myers couldn't even bother to put the jack-o'-lantern on the steps so people could see it better from the street this family can't do pumpkin placement correctly we are alone aren't we michael's around some place michael's older sister decides i can have sex with my boyfriend with michael around it's not like he'll turn into a psycho killer if he sees this douchebag pounding me i gotta go will you call me tomorrow so from the time the lights went out in judith's bedroom to now it's been one minute and eight seconds and a good 20 seconds of that is getting clothes off i know this kid's in high school but man that is literally some weak sauce and not very long-lasting also after the terrible sex performance michael's going to kill his sister michael starts stabbing his sister and then he turns to his right and what is he stabbing the air now michael this is a great reveal and what a fun unbroken shot to start off a cheap horror movie i'm removing three sins for this also the myers mask is iconic but can we all just admit an adult in this clown costume would have been equally creepy well dave we just found our son standing here with a bloody butcher knife in his hand but let's just stand and stare don't you think we could refer to it as him if you say something the compassion's overwhelming doctor really marion just a minute ago you were complaining about their gibberish i think the expression is don't throw stones at crazy people's houses or something along those lines man it'd be weird if this simple shot of a matchbook inspired a white trash themed reboot of this series almost 30 years later thank god that never happens i don't care if he's from hell or not sky doesn't have the strength to open palm shatter a car window like that he's got he's gone from here the evil is gone you see dr loomis this is why nobody takes you seriously you talk about michael myers and dramatic horror movie terms you know the truth so you've taken a leap nobody else is ready to accept you need to learn how to relay how evil he is without calling him the evil also how did you know that was michael all you saw was one of the many patients driving away in the car but you never saw his face also also how the [ __ ] does michael know how to drive a car he's been in this joint since he was six did they put him in the student driver program don't forget to drop the key off at the myers place i won't they're coming by to look at the house at 10 30. this is a throwaway line but brings up the question of what happens to the potential home buyers in just two minutes we will see michael's already taken up residence this is never mentioned again and why wouldn't mr strode be at the house to show it haddenfield illinois where the california palms grow like wildflowers i believe that's the city's motto so 15 years have gone by and nobody can sell the murder house why hasn't this place been condemned also you'd think if you're strode realty you'd get somebody to at least clean up the exterior a bit and maybe do a little work inside so you don't have to rely on tom hanks and shelly long to buy it i told him how dangerous he couldn't have two road blocks and an all points bulletin wouldn't stop a five-year-old but it should have how does crazy ass michael myers drive a stolen station wagon through two roadblocks without anyone seeing it does he somehow know secret mario kart paths to avoid cops because remember this asshole's been in an institution for 15 years has the mind of a child i don't care how the evil he is he can't drive a car he was doing very well last night maybe someone around here gave him lessons listen here dr loomis i already seen that i know this sinning thing is a joke to you but i take it god damn seriously and so does certain hollywood directors man it'd be weird if dr wynn who's only in this one scene would show up in say the sixth film in this franchise and we'd find out he's a member of a weird cult that worships michael myers thank god that never happens this is a great shot and i'd remove a sin except how did michael know laurie would be sitting next to a window for him to stalk so perfectly so why did he walk from laurie's school to this kid's school michael's business is killing babysitters so is this some sort of complex dive into the human soul where he sees a lot of himself in the kid and he feels the need to protect him now i'd like that but that ain't the truth the truth is you're the weak and i'm the tyranny of evil matt wait sorry guys let's go on to the next scene no one will be seated during the michael goes back to the car starts it and drives alongside tommy portion of the movie also if this is supposed to be from michael's perspective then why are we looking out the back window of the car while he's driving michael like most [ __ ] drivers on the road doesn't bother to signal when he turns right yeah hedon field seems like the type of culturally relevant town in illinois where a sign telling you it's 73 miles away would be appropriate payphone he is coming to hanfield because i know him what loomis told us earlier michael hasn't spoken a word in 15 years since the murder so what information did he give loomis that made him so certain he'd go back there if he escaped dr loomis conveniently pulling up to the side of the road where the dead motorist and abandoned truck and a phone are is convenient also how is this not a crime scene by now no one saw an abandoned truck on the side of the road with the door wide open and thought to check that out in the last few hours loomis knows michael was here because of the matchbook the nurse used to light her cigarette but doesn't bother to check for dead bodies that might have been a good thing to discover and tell the police earlier he could even tell him that there's a sign pointing the way to hattenfield from this new murder site tickets on sale for what just the high school in general and who would even see the sign it's practically in a forest [Music] hey jerk speed kills michael is literally going drive by stalking speed barely faster than you [ __ ] or walking also there is no way that michael could have heard anything and he was saying while in a moving car at that distance i hate a guy with a car and no sense of humor that is very specific it's almost like you're saying you'd like the guy if he didn't own a car but still had no sense of humor i've got three choices watch the kids sleep listen to linda screw around to talk to you i'm starting to think myers later kills annie to put her out of her misery oh look look where annie was clear looking straight ahead when michael was visible so how did she not see him for a movie that is so good at elevating tension and suspense with the use of atmosphere and music jump scares like this come off even more annoying you know it's halloween i guess everyone's entitled one good scare and a creepy adult who doesn't understand the concept of personal space trick-or-treat trick-or-treating at three in the goddamn afternoon even if it's like five or six you are severely limiting your candy haul if she's been gone all day why the [ __ ] is this window open so at this point you call the cops right no okay carry on rotary phone this turns out to be laurie's friend annie who decided to call while her mouth was full of cereal and didn't even bother an attempt to say something judith myers my pro 18 glock 20. during his important search for michael myers dr loomis decides to check out the local cemetery to see if michael to file his sister's grave which somehow takes precedence over checking his old neighborhood first why do they do it god damn kids steal tombstones that's a common occurrence in haddonfield or anywhere mr riddle was watching you laurie mr riddle is 87. she can still watch it's probably all he can do i like to think this film encouraged a giant spike in 87 year old men joining gyms in 1978 since they're smoking weed and don't want to get caught why exactly couldn't they just skip talking to the sheriff he's clearly busy and he could have just driven right past him and he probably wouldn't have even noticed all they took was some halloween mask rope and a couple of knives they stole a halloween mask at the hardware store also what's the deal with this town michael's been able to walk around in daylight all day drive around in a stolen station wagon that is very easy to identify he stole a tombstone from a cemetery committed a hardware store robbery and between stops he stalked lori throughout the movie and nobody's seen this [ __ ] guy except lore also also michael had the mask on when he was talking lower at school and afterwards when the girls were walking home so has this alarm been going off all day one thing this movie does in super fashion and it feels like nobody really ever tried this in horror movies afterwards is using the edges of the frame to show michael lurking around every corner this movie constantly asks you to search the frame for it hey where's waldo for the 70s crowd and it perfectly puts the viewer on edge i guess we'll just chalk it up to the fact that laurie and annie are high when they don't notice the same station wagon following them everywhere they go still warm he got hungry okay this movie does not know how to time frame correctly so michael has presumably been following lori around all day plus he had to rob the hardware store at some point still judith tombstone etc so let's assume he ate the dog what in the morning when lori was dropping off the key how the f would it still be warm he could have stayed inside full random thing that breaks a window at this very moment is random and bull what do we do he's been here once tonight i think he'll come back i'm gonna wait for him seriously this podunk small town can't spare one cop to help loomis out by this point there should be some sort of news about him he broke out of smith's grove he definitely murdered a guy and he's clearly back in his old neighborhood but sure let's dedicate our entire police force elsewhere it's halloween and somebody stole a mask out of a hardware store after all why do you keep them under there mom doesn't like me to have them great hiding place dude your parents will never find that spot under the couch when they vacuum the living room lindsay get this dog out of the kitchen right now lindsey there's nobody outside all day laurie's been seeing a scary dude staring at her at school from his trademark station wagon from behind this hedge and in the middle of this laundry but as soon as tommy says he sees somebody laurie's lady boner over ben dreamer overrides her concern and he spills a little bit of water on herself and that's as good a reason as any to take off both shirts and her pants in the middle of the kitchen with open windows all around never mind i guess he found a hot date that was clearly a whimper and not a sound that would make anyone think a dog was okay and he might be a bigger dick to dogs than michael and he kills them and eats them for sake i get that john carpenter loves him some of the thing but did we have to watch all 30 seconds of the opening i mean that's a 30 seconds a logo sin in a movie within a movie what about the jack-o'-lantern after the movie what about the rest of my comic books how's the jack-o'-lantern jesus how [ __ ] long is this night also they're making a jack-o'-lantern on halloween night what will they do with it afterwards put it out on november 1st think through your activities laurie come on i saw the boogeyman i saw him outside laurie's disbelief a sign which is bull by the way this is what tommy saw he saw a dark figure standing out on a lawn that literally could be anyone but because he's a kid that nobody believes he's absolutely right about this oh is this one of your cheap trips did michael also have ninja training at the institution because he moves so stealthily he doesn't even make a sound lindsay come out here and why don't we not stand here talking about them and get down to doing them man michael myers hit the jackpot with horny babysitters when he decided to come back to haddonfield on halloween night which brings up the question how did he know who all the babysitters were when he came back how did he choose these victims he's been planning this all day and it's not like he knows the babysitting situation in this town i spilled butter all over my clothes they're in the wash am i seeing things or did she simply spill water on her clothes and it was just a little bit like even if that was butter it wasn't all over her clothes like she claims [Music] no keys sure you might have thought the door was open but how are you going to operate the car without your keys you went straight to the car without looking for your purse how damp for paul do you have to be to forget keys wait a minute didn't michael have a copy of the key or does he know how to use a murder knife to break into cars and man and he didn't even notice paul must be the best what the hell was michael doing in this car for the last 30 seconds to fog up the windows like that actually scratch that i'm okay not knowing the answer there's no blood coming from her throat so what exactly did he just slice that her ear also what's the best way to emote a horrible death probably not this tommy picks the most insane moment to play a trick on lindsay as it's perfect timing to see michael carrying annie's lifeless body into the house next door lonnie get your ass away from there loomis gets his saved a kid from murder boy scout badge today and if you are right damn you for letting him go what story did loomis tell the sheriff about michael's escape how did that story turn into loomis being the party responsible for first i rip your clothes off then you rip my clothes off then we rip lindsay's clothes off i was told that 10 years later this guy was fired from the guardians of the galaxy franchise lindsay is gone for the night hey now that's wonderful yeah but lindsay's parents have to come home at some point right jesus this might be the least sexy scene since disclosure but also some pretty good representation of high school sex also based on where linda's leg is and the direction bob is thrusting it would appear that linda's thigh will be reaching orgasm in just a few seconds also also why is there a lit up pumpkin in this bedroom did they come up here and light up this jack-o'-lantern or did somebody else do it and it's been sitting here for hours based on the actions of doors in this film i think it's safe to say scream three and halloween take place in the same universe come on out so michael watch them have sex then came down here and hid in the closet just in case bob checked it do i have that right because i'm gonna hit up michael myers for gambling advice later if that's true i admit this knife is huge but how the does it go through bob's body and into the door behind him having enough strength to keep him suspended in the air after the investigation is over the hardware store michael stole this knife from should be using this in their advertising i love this iconic look of michael cocking his head side to side when he looks at dead bob he's either admiring his own work or wrapped up in the beauty of what he did i'll take a sin off for it a sin off for murder i mean look don't you ever tell me that this guy while as evil as dr loomis says he is doesn't have a sense of humor and since he also has a car annie would love this guy if she was still alive this [ __ ] never looked for the car before this also how is it even here we know that michael parked the car in front of tommy doyle's house even though we haven't seen it again until now and the myers house is not across the street from the doyle residence where exactly did michael have that tombstone stash this whole time also also remember when michael took annie's body into the house he had to have been setting this up then and he had no idea linda and bob would be showing up but when he saw them later did he go back upstairs hide annie's body and wait to kill them before setting it all back up i mean where was this guy stored so that this could happen what the hell is he hanging from and why did michael just leave him stuck on the pantry door jesus what is up with these doors opening on their own do the slasher killers only case houses with automatic doors so um time to get the [ __ ] out of the house right this guy's a top-notch fortune teller slash knife expert on the cutting edge of blade technology and he takes a poor stab at slicing the sharp heroine of the movie also she just broke a leg on both there is dead right no okay carry on michael somehow knew to use a [ __ ] rake to prevent lori from going out this door it's like he knew it would come to this he didn't do this with any of the other victims but lori is the one he figured would be the most likely to escape man people are super talented in the halloween verse at breaking windows with their bare hands i'd send this for the obvious heroin falls while running cliche except i'm still flabbergasted that she can move at all after falling down those stairs what the actual was this guy waiting for the whole time when did michael ever have the chance to cut the phone line he's been at the other house this whole time and he was just about to catch up to lori about five seconds ago so in the time that laurie walked in here he cut the phone line and apparently broke this window to get into the house i mean this reveal is a lie this had no chance to do this and even if he did why did he wait for laurie to [ __ ] around with the phone and before trying to kill her really feel like laurie not saying so this as she stabs him was a missed opportunity i'm surprised there isn't already a rake propped up against this upstairs bedroom door so that laurie can't turn the knob stab him in the face although you're right it probably doesn't matter no one shoots a horror movie like carpenter so let's review michael was stabbed by a coat hanger stabbed with a knife shot four times and fell out of the top floor of a house and he's still alive this guy did come from two human parents right well maybe not now that i reflect on it since michael killed judith at the age of six and escaped 15 years later shouldn't this read michael age 21 movie doesn't know how to math or credits i blame the chicken you love movies you know you do otherwise you wouldn't be watching a channel that pretends to hate movies made by people who love movies i don't know what that means me neither and to proper cinephile like yourself should get on over to mubi.com cinemasims to make sure you're fully credentialed mama checked it it's bonafide movie is a movie streaming service with one goal introduce you to great cinema they offer a hand-picked selection of the best films from all over the world movies experts introduce a new film that they love every single day and every movie stays on the platform for a full month and this month is horrific october featuring iconic films from michael mann cronenberg romero and many more don't think you can persuade me with appeals to my intellectual vanity i don't think i'll persuade you at all you'll either do it or you won't and movie works great on your pc tablet mobile device and even your tv so you always have access to 30 great hidden gems from cinema history no matter where you are no matter where you go there you are and right now cinemasins fans can get a full month of movie for free i mean do you know how many movies that is let me take a while guess here that's right jules lots i thought so just head to mubi.com cinemasins to sign up and start exploring the handcrafted selection of some of the best films ever made including their spotlight on horror this month we love it and we think you will too i told everybody nobody listened we didn't listen we did listen in 1930 the republican-controlled house of representatives in an effort to alleviate the effects of the anyone anyone the great depression he got hungry man wouldn't do that tis no man it is a remorseless eating machine i met this six-year-old child with this blank pale emotionless face and lifeless eyes black eye like a doll's eye tommy how's the peeping [Music] tommy that's a feed thing you're serious about it aren't you i am serious and don't call me shirley jim i'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey costume wrote that fate was somehow related only to religion whereas you locked yourself in oh and you're a regular road scholar where where was it you graduated from again the university of i am scared i shot him six times

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 2,754,396

Keywords: cinemasins, 1978, movie, original, halloween, cinema sins, eww, wave jockey job, review, mistakes, carpenter, everything wrong with

Id: tNZSFJ3iE8g

Length: 17min 34sec (1054 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 16 2018