Everything Wrong With 50 First Dates In 19 Minutes Or Less

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they enjoy and one of the main reasons I like bread sellers is that I get to take their word for it just like a friend right now bright sellers is giving sins fans 60 off their first four bottle box that's just 38 dollars for four bottles this value is almost simple sponsors like bright sellers help us continue producing new sins content each week so support them by going to brightsellers.com CinemaSins to take the quiz and get started today [Music] the modern Columbia logo was based on a worker named Jenny Joseph who posed for it in 1992. she appears on every Columbia picture and does not receive any kind of residuals I just mentioned it since this logo isn't long enough to sin and I had to find something because sinska got a sin logos y'all opening an Adam Sandler movie while filming on a location vacation cliche it was unbelievable as unbelievable as this perfectly even spray on tan he took me to all these cool local places this scene reminds me of an infuriating recent Dental visit when the assistant would not stop talking to me while I had to lay there trapped I would pay double to attend a dental facility that has a zero chatty chat policy and while I'm at it that goes for haircuts too just cut my hair I don't want to tell you what's been going on in my life since the last time you cut my hair River Focus make sure it looks even let me go home well we got a little drunk well at least we know that Henry is an ageist just sexist yeah someone I can do a human body while talking on the phone about your sex life Henry Roth why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent this movie not only sets up the age-old guys or dogs who lie AI to women to get them into bed Trope but enforces the more subtle women are dumb enough to believe them and then we'll get clingy Trope for everyone did you know that some studies reveal that Dolphins actually show more intelligence than most happy Madison movies see what happens when you play with sharks I refuse to image search wound patterns for shark attacks in order to confirm my suspicion that this perfectly clean arc-shaped laceration is not how a shark bite would appear on a body I'm just gonna send this not a shark bite anyway because I can't keep the heel on a point honor you huh oh we just cast a spell on us this movie was made within the last 20 years why stack two unused boxes of Aquafresh toothpaste on the top shelf and have a filled toothpaste container upright on the lower shelf this is a man who eats candy for breakfast do you think he over prepares for dental hygiene this is also a man who for sport how is his precious storage space used for extra toothpaste and not medicinal creams to soothe his recurring genital rashes okay so the movie doesn't tell us he has an STD but do the math the statistical probability or pull on your boy boy come on this movie made almost 200 million dollars at the box office penguin ass on your map I'm just saying don't blame me if some undiscovered Islands show up next time you try to navigate this foot Mark is not on the pillow in the next shot Alexa what do you do a doometer arguing with your Amazon Alexa that's a little warm go to the bottom of the barrel please oh you movie I know you want to establish Sandler as some sort of veterinarian God but there's no way he could tell the minute difference in temperature between the fish at the top or bottom of the barrel or that it would even really matter finding the right fish would be as easy as shooting I know there's a saying that would work here frogs in a bucket also strangely enough go to the bottom of the barrel was the mantra for writing the jokes in this film I needed the fish slap to calm down it's not enough to highlight that the lead in this movie is a womanizer let's also be sure to Showcase that women who look masculine are props for deprecating comic relief I'm gonna try to get him breathing manually okay so I need your face right next to his mouth gee I wonder where this could be headed at least it will happen quickly and we won't have to play with this false tension for two dear God can we just get to the wall I was puking already that's what she gets me in my roast beef sandwich taking a roast beef sandwich to work but also if we're looking to redeem this character I probably wouldn't have started with conspires with marine life to projectile vomit on a co-worker over a lunch dispute at this rate you'll have to save a baby from drowning while simultaneously solving in the climate crisis and ending world hunger to be fully redeemed sailboats quit wasting the win nature is meant to be preserved save the planet and use fossil fuels like the rest of us Captain's Log November 5th 6 45 a.m this counts Star Trek oration and honestly how dare you Adam how dare you I get you spam and eggs will Henry have to pay for that breakfast you are forcefully ordering for him does he have no say when does this ever happen in a restaurant want for me to put peanut butter cups in the eggs no that's okay it's an actual conversation in this movie it was then that the penis-centered hero of our story spotted his next Mark she happens to be smart enough to see through his but is also brain damaged and can't remember his triggery this friends is the central part of the plot that holds this movie together house scalding must the coffee have been in order to mix with syrup and 40 seconds later maintain a steam stream too hot to drink that's the answer also playing with your food crafting a wall volcano is all fun and games till the coffee lava erupts and causes third degree burns on little Timmy's pitching hand and ruins his chance at supporting his family through Major League Baseball his mom will now die at 50 because they didn't have enough for her crucial clavicle operation and all because you thought it would be fun to play food geologists instead of just eating your damn breakfast happy now why would a restaurant garnish a plate of waffles with orange and parsley you're just making a decision to throw it away later when you bust the table I really didn't expect to send garnish twice but I can't ignore Lucy's decision to discard her garnish onto the table and then return the garnish to her plate now the discarded garnish is touching her food there's a little fella hey strange thing to say when the image on the laptop has been on the little fella during their entirely useless conversation and cheated on you with whole wrestling Gym close actually it was my college girlfriend Tracy College girlfriends also well not this microscopic glimpse into his past I would have gone the rest of the movie so confused as to why he somehow justified in all his ass baggery [Music] cracking your cervical spawn like this checking your Waffle's prostate in public let me try this inventing the Waffle House also Henry touches Lucy's waffle with his bare fingers and somehow this works even though it does not work later this possessive handshake I just hold on to them for five minutes each minutes touching anyone for more than five seconds is a sin I don't care if they're family I think tattoo face I don't even have to play you the full joke for you to know whatever this punchline referred to could never have been funny enough for that reaction also do you want tiny shards of metal in your spam because this is how you get tiny shards of metal in your spam this restaurant Cove is beautifully located all tucked in away from the Open Sea which of course is nothing like what we were showing earlier when Henry had to abandon his boat to find this quaint spot in the first place that's the stupidest looking swing I've ever seen thinking that referencing Happy Gilmore will make this movie any better my life sucks so it's a man with several talented children an ability to Surf time enough to meet people in bars and golf leisurely give her the wakey Kiki sneaky between the cheeky this movie has a 6.8 rating on IMDb who wouldn't need it this way I can imagine I did it and then I can get through another weekend living your sex addiction vicariously through another person this is a dream sequence and just think about the symbolism of descending a cliff to retrieve your balls let's think about it really think about it Henry dreams of Lucy complete with a lily flower in her hair and this is before we know she loves lilies are you getting drunk are you eating a flower what are you thinking I'm thinking that Tusk drinking out of two huge straws is a really bad idea not only because it is not sexy but you also have to battle a liquid from coming back out of your mouth between the two tubes where the suction is broken Am I Wrong actually I'm not drunk at all no rain and neither are you because there's no alcohol in these drinks how is Galaxy Quest here surprised at this Us and how does this get them fake drunk plan even work and most importantly how am I supposed to care about this that guy over there could help you out so I guess Alexa's just hanging out on the off chance that there are sex scraps at the bar or is the movie Just Gonna use her as a throwaway cheap laugh prop when they're not sure how to end a scene on writing Merit alone don't move I have to talk to you but conveniently I have to go do something first so that you and the audience can figure out the big reveal for yourself as awkwardly as possible Lucy was in a terrible car accident don't worry if you space out during this explanation as to why Lucy has brain damage the movie will repeat in another 703 times that's a different part of the brain and if you get confused about how the brain injury part Works civil characters will also explain how this works 703 times she just can't retain any new information it's like her sleigh gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps it's like Memento meets groundhog day but with lots of genital humor was probably the elevator pitch for this movie she reads the newspaper though it's a special paper her father puts on their porch every night he got hundreds of them printed out printed hundreds of the same paper to Gaslight his sick daughter and believing the delusions of her disorder are real dads am I right related to Farmers Market gave it to me as a birthday present I think she likes you I think that pineapple was taken out of the Deep Freeze last night and should be cold right now and Lucy would notice especially if she cuts it open for her cake and finds pineapple ice crystals try not to sweating the sauce but dirty shoes on the counter are just they score here they bring it to 14 to 10. maybe they'll win for your birthday dad well it appears they're playing the Lions so I don't have to have lived through the day before to know they'll win in Detroit they just call that Sunday so the sin as always is the Lions but also doesn't she know that NFL games wouldn't be on at night in Hawaii the game start at seven in the morning there and even the late games are on in the early afternoon happy birthday dear Dad happy birthday to you you'd think after singing this song 365 times that Doug would have learned how to sing in key with his sister but nope the snake stands The Twist is you get to the end of this movie and find out it was dumb the entire time sorry for the spoilers I can't believe it Bruce Willis is a ghost I'm just I'm shocked if you didn't know the twist to The Sixth Sense until five years later when you saw it on VHS I don't know whether to congratulate you or feel sorry for you so I'll just go with I don't believe you why waste the cake just tell Lucy you want something smaller to celebrate your birthday of Lies she'll get over it and then you don't have to buy the ingredients for a cake that is wasted every night how have they gone an entire year when all colors fading in the wash or the fabric wearing down is this movie saying that PRX takes out all stains and maintains the perfect pink and for a few days every month or so she's probably having a surprise staying on those white pants that pure Rex miraculously takes care of as well I'm saying the product placement is woefully overlooked if the idea here is that Lucy would notice a few millimeters of soap missing from the container wouldn't she also notice her hair growing or do they snip her hair while she's sleep come to think of it and I don't want to get too personal here but if Lucy went to bed shaved clean is she waking up clean shaving again or do we just skip over the mental confusion of pilos pits and instabush of all the stupid stupidity in this erase the day Montage nothing is stupider than painting over a new painting each day you'd have to Prime and paint the wall every single day so that didn't show through so that means there are at least three coats of paint added to that wall daily do you know how quickly those walls would be caked in inches and inches of smelly old paint that room is going to shrink faster than a death star trash compactor and smell just as bad also these holes should not exist unless they also drill them out so it doesn't fill with hundreds of coats of paint over time they are dedicated and dumb I appreciate your interest Oprah but leave me alone funny the plants must be screaming the same thing Adam because they are living on a boat I think my stitches opened up again cuz stitches sir apparently enough time has passed for your wound to become a scar you got a cat because I feel something licking me trying to have sex with pets around let's add this book to the growing list of things that would be aging without explanation Lucy reads the same page as every day and if she can notice soap squirts missing from a container she would notice microscopic wear and tear on delicate book pages I bet you 20 bucks I can get her to have breakfast with me again says the guy who literally said after being asked why he wouldn't date a woman with a brain injury that it's evil two minutes ago in the previous scene do they think because the movie is about short-term memory loss that the audience has it too do you realize how long a gumball will have been sitting in this closed-in machine for it to get to you whose idea was it to be like let's put something in the glass enclosure that's never cleaned for months and then a lot of people pay a quarter to use greasy gears to turn and deliver it to them so they can insert it into their mouths we'll be rich spraying water near an exposed electrical outlet for some time also this why would this total stranger make the universal sign of turning butter right in the middle of their breakfast look at how these idiots are transporting their spam canisters it's not in a box it's stacked for maximum display my God does this movie want to make people fall in love with Spam it's like they thought that we would immediately forget how much people in Hawaii allow spam between scenes I thought hey this guy is so desperate to meet me he might be worth talking to you tell me a dude wrote your movie without directly telling me a dude wrote your movie any guy who's okay with that ain't okay with me and also a man who gave Chase to his daughter and followed her home in his truck like a goddamn stalker isn't okay with you either right he asked me not to go to the hookah oh I'm not going to the hooky though not doing anything wrong no he specifically said stay away from my daughter Mr boner-induced selective hearing guy holy where did he get all these blockades and such do they have a quick and easy road construction supply store in town Oola survives this there's something I want to show you you better come take a look at this cliche excuse me can I borrow this look hope what I'm glad the movie is finally addressing it but this would literally happen all the time If This Were Real unless they keep her trapped at home the amount of unsuspecting strangers or environments with Clues would be unavoidable just one more reason this coddle enable his plan not only is unethical but would never work is there anything more depressing than seeing a folder that you assume would be filled with cards from your students but upon flipping open is as empty as your memories of yesterday but only now after I've been told not every single day when I wash my hair and wonder huh where did that giant bump come from oh well I'll have to build some waffle based architecture do we have sex wow for a dad who caused his daughter's brain injury by taking his eyes off the road he sure likes to avoid keeping his eyes on the road you guys have to just lie to me every day no they choose to lie about you every day but sure let's have a moment to make this about them suck at this job now you're fine made up idiot in a movie guy the real people who suck at their jobs are the writers who thought this scene was funny or needed I think you should meet 10 second Tom we call him that because we're a professional Medical Institution that of course gives nicknames to our patients based on their disability hope that doesn't offend you Lucy loser dance I was in an accident that's terrible don't worry you'll totally get over it in about three seconds but if Tom's memory resets every 10 seconds from the accident why is he just repeatedly introducing himself to people instead of every 10 seconds screaming watch out further wait why am I in a hospital and suddenly wearing a name tag I don't go just because my son is psychotic mocking your child's speech impediment starting your so you're an Amnesia orientation video with hurricanes and civil unrest my name is Lucy is is he wearing her shirt or did they manage to find a pink replica last night at a random store in the area and if it is Lucy's shirt does that mean that Henry came back to the house to watch it so Lucy was wearing a clean one this morning or is she wearing the same shirt that Ula wore while creating the video last night this matters to me come on stop with the licking you're making me sick I'll just point out that Henry chose to keep this in the final edit of his videotape anyways I know you wish I was making all this stuff up nope everyone is wishing There Was an explanation as to how a small child is getting a camera angle that is now eye level with a full-grown walking adult s this movie was called the last good true Adam Sandler movie by a popular website in 2020. every day you help her to realize what happened and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it when you get her to fall in love with you again under use my own op is right how does this work on a day-to-day basis does he not have to go to the Aquatic Center job anymore how to Marlin and Nemo sorry Doug take the time they need to fish or other bodybuilding contest is there some sort of settlement that gives all these people the ability to just drop everything in their life to make Lucy's Perfect Day a reality [Music] making out when there are sharks around what does it imply that Oola is even here was he stalking them or was he just hanging out with the dolphins late at night and noticed they were here and honestly why was he swimming with the dolphins at night when no one is around never mind I've heard stories from trainers about how horny dolphins are it's all making sense now lying fishing during the entire night but people move a ton all night long have you never watched someone sleep before I mean not that I have oh how did anyone not know Lucy was going to forget everything in the morning and prepare for it wouldn't someone set an alarm to get Henry out of her bed before the following morning all I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis I have the first and that's my joke yeah we know you were so proud of it you put it in your movie twice did you tell Lucy about this trip yet well actually there's nothing to tell because I decided not to go a strange response when he has told Lucy before she wrote about it in her journal and it was far enough in the past to not be on a recent page you had plans and a life before you met me and now all you have time for is a skip could I have One Last First Kiss let me guess instead of him coming back out of the rain you're going to walk into the rain because kissing in the rain cliche have you ever kissed someone in the pouring rain it's terrible rain kissing is the hot tub sex of rom-coms or beach sex or kitchen table sex just have sex in your beds people this massive trashcan fire of a movie has an unmanned massive trashcan fire in the movie neat wait Lucy just walks off toward the house like she doesn't have a fire to tend to a fire in a wooden building filled with painting supplies that will surely ignite on contact Candace Bernice and Rose Polly Waller was streaming one of the most shocking moments of this movie is that Marlon wraps a CD for Henry Marlon spent a year re-wrapping a VHS cassette every night no he's tired of rapping things [Music] from the day she meets you she remembers me generally I sit and when a movie flashes back to obvious things we know know so make sure we put the pieces together but in this case I need more flashbacks Marla knew she was painting Henry every day why not just say so instead of playing this coated Beach Boys she's singing again game bullsh well I trust Henry to make this Diamond Head size leap in logic this is my studio also I can afford a private studio in a mental institute somehow you know walking in here every day for the first time is a real trip too because I realize how talented I am I could probably sell this art and make enough money to buy The Institute altogether but you know baby steps what would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day to have a lot of stuff about men I would say that that makes a lot of sense what why there's so little reason or hint given for this selective memory return that this whole happy ending might as well be a day of sex remember you here's a fun part of the movie where we are expected to jump forward something like seven years and suddenly accept that Lucy has the ability to wake up on a boat with a remake of her bedroom in the frigid temperatures of Alaskan Waters well then a really traumatic reaction Lucy realizes she's in a fake bedroom on a tiny ship and my question is where does everyone else sleep on this thing I'm sorry but the absolute are two tiny pink bikes doing on a goddamn boat where's the little one going to ride off to who's going with it would also need a tiny bike why are they adults okay with wasting Precious Cargo space on useless bikes good morning Mrs Roth would you like to meet your daughter why would he not mention that she has a child in the video before she hits topside we know it's for the audience surprise but she should be told why your feet are larger boobs are lower and hips are wider I mean I know not every woman goes through a lot of physical changes but at the very least let her prepare emotionally the movie contains at most 23 First Dates speaking of diapers I went to Waffle House last night so long and thanks for all the fish I heard you did a pilot that was my 15 minutes what was it it was a show about a team of female secret agents called Fox Force 5. what Fox Force 5. fox is in where a bunch of Foxy chicks Force as in we're forced to be reckoned with and five is in this one two three four five of us this way you got hit right here or here so much but right here coming Lucy here's Johnny she lost her short-term memory [Applause] [Music] tree hey Tracy how you doing If Ever I was to marry someone it would have been her I like making little houses out of waffles I like to say a prayer and drink to world peace there's nothing like a first kiss hold it hold it what is this are you trying to trick me is this a kissing book

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 791,936

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, everything wrong with 50 first dates, 50 first dates, fifty first dates, 50 1st dates, 50 first dates reaction, adam sandler, drew barrymore, 50 first dates 2004, movie reaction, movie commentary, rob schneider, 50 first dates movie commentary, 50 first dates first time watching, 50 first dates commentary, adam sandler movie, 50 first dates movie reaction

Id: Oqv3lp_92DA

Length: 21min 9sec (1269 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 08 2022