Life, the Universe, & Everything Wrong With The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in 30 Mins or Less

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consider joining the 4 million plus people who already use better help to live a healthier happier life visit betterhelp.com CinemaSins or choose CinemaSins at sign up to get a special discount off your first month of [Music] therapy it's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem that's more of an adage than a fact so welcome to the important and popular nitpicking that is Cinema sense I hope you enjoy the ride also why is this movie a box right now I came here to see a movie not my granny's Trinitron the second most intelligent creatures were of course Dolphins who curiously enough had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth we will soon find out that the plans for the impending destruction of the planet Earth could be located in Alpha centuri which the incredulous aliens can't believe that no one from Earth had ever visited how theu did the Dolphins figure it out telepathy most of their Communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits dolphins are so smart why didn't they shout the message to us in their own dolphin language but really slowly and loudly that always worked for me when and I an intellectual facing language barrier with someone unwilling to speak America so they eventually decided they would leave Earth by their own means Jesus Bruce in Christ I can only assume that the Dolphins used their Supreme intelligence to engineer a lasso and brought the moon a billion times closer to Earth and used the subsequent shift in gravity to tily slingshot themselves out of the ocean or maybe they built rockets and launchpads in the water telepathy but in fact the message was this so long and thanks for all the fish you know I think the dolphins of 2005 would be more likely to say thanks for all three of the salmon you so graciously decided not to overfish into Extinction oh and thanks for all the [ __ ] microplastics too dick weeds most of us have colon cancer and poor Steve still has her head stuck in that eold plastic death trap what do you even use that for handcuffing octopuses you sick bastards here a song called so long and thanks for all the fish plays a simple and hilarious punchline has now become a bloated opening credit song probably because some producer wants to win an Oscar or some the extraordinary story of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy roll credits he is a 5' 8 in tall ape descendant oh really are you sure that he was descended from an ape or was he descended from a common ancestor in the Champagne region of France otherwise he's just a sparkling white whiner and someone is trying to drive a bypass through his house Jesus are they using an 8.5 earthquake to do it how are a bunch of vehicles vibrating as tea off the table holy sh that is a lot of equipment to demolish one house especially since England only has access to two working bulldozers and both are currently committed to deterring an obese yet rather determined pigeon outside of Greg's Bakery and P raed you can't lie in front of the bulldozers forever oh well I'm going we'll see you rust first Arthur appears to be under the illusion that the bulldozer will succumb to rust before he succumbs to exposure starvation or being crushed by an unrusted bulldozer these plans have been on display at the planning office now for a year on display I had to go down to a Sellar okay mat certainly just proves that the plans were readily available to view but it sounds like you still saw the plans anyway even though you went down into the Sellar to see them six pints of bitter and quickly the world's about to end that is not a pint of bitter that is a logger damn it where is all this British knowledge coming from oh no our infinite probability Drive must be malfunctioning and randomly shoving useless UK trivia into my head I don't want it get out of my B you you you three points each at lunch time sorry time it's an illusion lunchtime doubly so we cut down the amount of time it takes forward to down this beer but this is one of many examples of the movie inserting its own humor smack dab in the middle of the Douglas Adams humor and I don't think I think it works I feel like the movie is playing the hits of the book but like a band playing a 30-year-old song that they don't want to play anymore they change the pace from normal to fast they insert an overlong drum solo and Laps into a cover of the Spice Girls Wannabe before finishing the original song and I wanted to hear Bob O'Reilly damn it not baby oh spicy what if I told you I really wasn't from Guilford I now know that the most obvious tale is that he just pronounced the D in Guilford the actual dennin of Guilford and most of England in fact don't even recognize the letter d as part of the English alphabet I assumed you were drunk I thought cars were the dominant life form how did Ford think that cars were the dominant life form we assume he's been to a lot of planets all of which we will soon see are populated by living things that are close to human this lady is distracting as all hell she stares at Ford and Arthur throughout this entire Pub scene I assume she was going to deliver some kind of Zinger or end up being an alien but instead she just sits there the whole time staring as if she's actually watching most de and Martin Freeman enjoy a beer it's not as clever as Darwin I know how the did he guess Darwin from this costume I would have gone with h assassinated Abraham Lincoln before Darwin everyone keeps calling me Santa furthermore how did the other party goers guess Santa from this costume Santa wear a [ __ ] tuxedo dumb people are dumb and I thought the Beagle made it a dead giveaway sure people recognize it as first a beagle and then remember that that's the name of the ship Darwin took to destroy religion where do you have in mind Madagascar is that that new club on te Street since this movie came out in 2005 this will mark one of the last times a joke about Madagascar ignorance or its Associated penguin pins would work and I for One Missed that time hey excuse me this guy boring you wait we've been subjected to flashbacks of some woman Arthur really loved and we find out it's just someone he met at a party one night and never saw again what the hell are those things what do you mean those things plural yes there was a fleet of ogon ships around the Earth but Arthur doesn't know that from his perspective it's pretty clear that Arthur should only be able to see the business end of one massive thing plans for the development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy involve the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system as this movie will later remind us space is big really big why the [ __ ] would you need to destroy planets which occupy so little space for any kind of Route much less an express route when you've conquered the problem of hyperspace this jump Zoom cuts for 30 goddamn seconds movie forgets that it already told us what it was 14 minutes ago also the score here is a new version of the music that played on the old BBC Radio Show which yes I listen to as well I listen to that audio so much and I'm so familiar with the rhythms of it the music the narration the acting that everything they do that hearkens back to it ising wrong and a natural and more controversial than ulon kid's Trilogy of philosophical Blockbusters where God went wrong some more of God's greatest mistakes and who is this God person anyway controversial indeed I mean it's utterly outrageous and honestly quite offensive that this Trilogy only contains three books instead of the required five also are the first two books entirely about God creating women and men this graph tracking profits suggests that The Hitchhiker's Guide traveled back in time to boost its own Sals but then it up somewhere along the line ended up tanking its sails and would have to wait until this point in the graph to regain its momentum and that just seems like a poor marketing strategy Vogons are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy not evil but bad temped bureaucratic officious and callous Dad they can't think they can't imagine most of them can't even spell they just run things if they can't think or imagine then why do we even need to worry about the Poetry that you warned us about the Babel Fish is small hello why would this fish that translates things for you take its name from the Tower of Babel a distinctly Earth thing if you stick one in your ear you instantly understand anything said to you in any language what a very plot venient adap platation for this creature to plot dependently plot vve resistance is useless ripping off the Borg you know if they cut you they'll make it so you regret it vogon poetry is widely accepted as the third worst in the universe I will ready the in the double War some things are just best left to the imagination this vogon poetry isn't bad painful or inspiring me to rearrange any internal organs in a bid to survive it's just gibberish I'm not saying I want the movie to hurt me but I would respect it more if it did the configuration of the large screens for this crowd makes absolutely no sense to me why are they positioned that way why aren't there more especially for the people behind the ship why is there a huge empty space of land over here on the left side separating the crowd and why is there a tent blogging the screen for anybody from here backward when trillian turns off the TV why is a blinding light coming out of the space where the image was does the TV's light source stay on after you turn it off this [ __ ] is blinding I thing you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed Alan Rickman was frankly a genius bit of casting and is ironically an absolute joy as Marvel they are only going after one ship right why didn't they need a whole [Music] Fleet CL that door just side Arthur Steven fry is already doing the narration duties we don't need you to point out every little thing that happens so that we'll know when to laugh all the doors in this spaceship have been programmed to have a cheerful and sunny disposition and so sighing is the result of that programming forward be but I thought Ford was just his Earth name that he took while he was stranded on Earth why would say fod know it I think I heard him call you trillion which one of us got the right one oh I shortened it something a little more Spacey I am having tremendous trouble figuring out when Arthur and tril first met was it a long time ago was it yesterday since Zod stole the ship yesterday and used the pickup line do you want to see my spaceship I'm assuming it was last night but the way they talk about it sounds like it's been a decently long time and yes I know by going up into space that time can be super wonky but I do not believe this movie is following those rules so there you blew it with her Earth man so shut your face a kick in ass zod's second head of ventriloquist bring me the request to pursue fugitive form I know that the vogans have been portrayed as as a bureaucratic nightmare but isn't that exactly what they were doing why would they have to fill out forms to do something they are already in the middle of there are so many red flags here that I struggle to believe a real Englishman would even go near this absolute t- bombination firstly it comes out pre-milk so there's no reliable way of knowing how long the tea bag has been steeped before the milking occurred secondly it's being served in a heinous cocktail glass which certainly wouldn't pass mustard and finally will someone please turn off the in probability drive before I start singing the third verse to God Save the King and adding unnecessary use everywhere so two heads is what does it for a girl yeah I mean if I'd had two heads or I don't know three in this scene Arthur will get awkwardly possessive of a woman he's just met and shame her for not committing to him after a few drinks I'm not saying this is an inaccurate representation of male Behavior but since these two end up in a relationship I feel like this is tacid approval of the being a possessive ass hat opening Gambit this toasts bread while you're slicing it but why would you want to toast a part of the bread you're not even going to eat until later that means when you go back to the loaf and cut a new slice one side will be hot while the other side is cold why not just already have sliced bread and have an invention I don't know like a toaster that does the same thing so both sides of the bread are hot when you eat it Madagascar that was some sort of test I failed how badly does it hurt it doesn't feel great no I mean your chin yes yes of course that makes total sense when someone is talking about getting rejected you just out of the blue ask about physical pain complete with the pronoun game and everything deep thought we want you to tell us the answer asking a computer for an answer without asking a [ __ ] question the answer to life the universe everything you think an extremely intelligent race of people who built a supercomputer like this would realize that their question needs way more data than this simplified question to a complex problem I have to think about that return to this place in exactly 7 and a half million years deep thought is a Commodore 64 42 okay fine I'm giving this a sin off this will never not be funny and removing some bonus sins for coming to this answer exactly at the 42-minute mark it would have been simpler of course to have known what the actual question was deep thought is both correct and a dick you could have told someone that the question wasn't clear 7 and a half million years ago also it kills me that no one is curious how the computer took the data it was given and somehow came up with the answer of 42 I just get disappointed also also if the question wasn't clear how did the computer come up with any answer like at this point we're supposed to just be satisfied with the fact that the computer didn't even know what question it was trying to answer yet it still came up with an answer and go down into the computer to navigate its 10 million year program deep thought apparently never actually thought deep about technology progressing in such a way that Computing speed would be exponentially better as time progresses creating a 10 million-year program suggests that you can't simply wait like 20 years to drastically increase the Computing speed and reduce the weight time dramatically you're president of the Galaxy aren't you that's righted Arman Arthur whatever ah yes The Eccentric character is too Ecentric to remember even the most simple names cliche you know it gets funnier the less I here as the improbability drive reaches infinite improbability it passes through every conceivable point in every conceivable Universe almost simultaneously I challenge you to come up with a better explanation for why the MCU is such a garbage Fire post-end game in other words you're never sure where you lend up or even what species you'll be when you get that sounds like something that needs more testing before it goes to Market who would buy this wow is this going to happen every time we we hit that button sadly it won't and the crazy thing is that this movie had the potential to be everything every all at once 17 years before everything everywhere all at once if only it had the yarn balls to carry on doing awesome bits like this come on Trisha I I I need some character development that the movie refuses to give me we lift our noses clogged and unblown Jesus gunheim this satire is way too on the nose now I understand that one of the old factors of humor is that it's subjective but if this even had a whiff of subtlety I might be able to enjoy this several odors higher than normal send the handkerchief of blessed ones so that it may wipe us clean the other thing about this religion is that it's way too simple there's no other aspects to this other than God created the universe with a sneeze now here's a bunch of references to handker chips this religion would fail in a month or less with this kind of Storytelling we think the religions on Earth are boring and there's all sorts of rad in the Bible so what chance does this [ __ ] have super spreader events choosing a 100 tiny robotic legs as your means of locomotion instead of well a wheel fewer legs but with bigger feet or a hoverboard yes this is the weirdest part of this image if memory serves you want one proving that good looks and charm win over Brilliance and the ability to govern being surprised by something that lowly humans discovered in 1981 you didn't come halfway across the Galaxy to settle a campaign garage saon that's true he didn't the Heart of Gold took them here and probably but why has zi been acting like that's the reason they decided to come down to the planet he doesn't know that HMA has the coordinates to magara so all this fake anger at hmer has served zero purpose what will you give me to ensure your return my word is President I have no idea what Zoe dasel is reacting to here she's acting like she thinks zod's answer is going to work somehow when it's obviously not but mostly it looks like she's been told to pretend that nothing happening in front of her is funny but not quite selling the straight face apparently sawing off zod's second head is something you can just do with a circular saw and not only that the head will be just fine without a body I mean we're not even doing the futureama thing here where the head is in a jar and you can somewhat suspend your disbelief that heads can survive that way and here I was thinking I was the only one who considered your boyfriend and narcissistic [ __ ] when apparently the whole galaxy does oh what about you we know Zod isn't going to get shot so I accept that he does not get shot however seeing the sheer number of Green Lasers coming out of these Vogons in his Direction I do not accept that he does not get shot oh I'd love to fell but wouldn't you know it my guidance system has been deactivated oh really Eddie you sound like the kind of AI that could help these people reactivate your guidance system the filmmakers could have just left this complication out and we would have lost nothing anyway I'm not going to complain about every difference the film has with the book but I am going to say that this change where they have to save trillion from the vogans is godamn tedious okay we go good man good man tiny steering wheel is comically tiny but why did the Pod even need a steering wheel to begin with they're in it because it has a navigation system and the Heart of Gold currently does it so can't they just tell it to follow the vogon ship I know it's being deliberately played for laugh but wipers on a spaceship seriously don't make sense I can't believe there isn't a high-tech option available for an escape pod attached to a ship that can literally turn you into an armch also these wipers are so small that they don't cover more than a third of the area of the windshield by the way I checked the guide for the best way to rescue a prisoner from vog fa it said don't something tells me that if Douglas Adams had written this scene the guide would have been a lot more fun about it and yes I know Douglas Adams is credited on the screen playay but come on let's be real okay uh I think we this reminds me of that bit from The Simpsons where sidow Bob keeps stepping on rake after rake yep it's exactly like a not funny version of that I'd make a suggestion that you wouldn't listen no one ever does if these [ __ ] really are going to ignore Marvin all the time I don't even know why he's here I can understand why taking orders from Zod would be depressing but it's curious why Ford and Arthur don't want to use Marvin's Superior intellect to figure out some of these tough situations I have an idea so these things hit you when you have an idea or say the word idea or some dumb [ __ ] like that but then why are they consistently attacking them when they start running if the answer is that they're triggered by all kinds of thinking then why is their timing so selective at the start of the walk from the the ship Marvin can you give me a hand this movie honestly allowed Marvin to come along with him on the vogon planet just so they could do this joke where Arthur pretends Marvin's arm is a weapon of some sort and that's it after this Marvin just goes back to the ship you think that a movie would want more Alan Rickman not less man I don't mean to keep picking on Zoe desel but she really looks bored in this movie I mean maybe that's her way of keeping everything tongue and cheek while all the zaniness goes on around her but so many of these cutaways to her are downright worthless because they aren't really congruent with any is going on she's skinny and she's pretty and she's lying and that is apparently the full depth of motivation we will be getting out of this character this to me I'm British I know how to queue wow up until this point the movie has been so careful about its British stereotypes what a weird time to slip up Easter egg all you like but I'm going to have all the in Universe questions if you choose to include the original Marvin from the BBC miniseries hi uh I've come about release of a prisoner the Vogons are meant to be sticklers for procedure and bureaucracy and yet this one somehow has no problem with these three skipping the line and holding it up for a considerable amount of time these are the ERS I have to say it's kind of weird that a lot of this contract appears to be in English does the Babel Fish have an eye-based cousin that translates words also I get that the movie wants to provide conflict between saod and trillian but disorder is all sorts of [ __ ] after all the bogon said that the plans for Earth's demolition have been sitting in Alpha centuri for 50 years Zod has only been president for a short time why would they need his approval when it was approved 50 years ago the punishment for a presidential kidnapping is to be fed to the ravenous bugblatter Beast of troll the ravenous bugblatter Beast of troll is a throwaway gag that was meant to be mentioned once and never again now suddenly your movie has the vogans using such a beast for capital punishment congratulations you have stomped all over this throwaway guy by doing some sort of unnecessary fan service [ __ ] but this isn't a presidential release of prisoner form that a blue the form we see her approved doesn't appear to be blue and appears to have zod's signature even though we only ever see Arthur put pen to paper ah but what of Arthur forged his signature I hear my fellow nitpickers cry well I poooo your theory since we saw zod's signature a few minutes earlier and it appeared to match the signature we see here including the unnecessary kiss furthermore we know that Arthur hasn't seen this document and would have no way of knowing to add such a detail I thus conclude that the butler did it why didn't you tell me what he threaten me get a backbone Arthur she's right but holy sh she sure wasn't all that curious about it when Arthur hem and trying to explain it earlier in fact considering her character throughout this whole movie it's hard to see that she cares about anything so her being mad feels like manufactured conflict The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of Love avoid if at all possible man when the movie wants to make up hitchhiker quotes it basically does the bare minimum this is the second time it's given an answer like this I mean you'd think a book with so many contributors would have a few stories about love that are funny and absurd but no oh I'm so sorry Arthur makes no attempt to leave the bathroom all saying sorry worry about barging in on trillion also there is no reason for this conversation or scene to be set while Zoe desel is taking a shower except well Hollywood I understand totally if you're angry with me um for what it's worth I I know how you must be feeling why did you also meet someone at a party who judged you for not pursuing them even though you're under no obligation to and you owe them nothing and honestly you wonder why they aren't more focused on the fact that their planet has been destroyed instead of why you aren't having sex with them sorry it just seems weird that that happened to both of you today if I said yes to you and gone to Madagascar then neither of us would be here now I just thought that might count for something count for what not like you knew the planet was going to be destroyed this is like passengers logic you see it was good that I opened your sleep pod early and a total invasion of your privacy because if I didn't we wouldn't be able to work together and save the ship that I had no idea was in danger of the time I opened it QED these doors aren't moaning i s that because earlier Marvin said all the doors in this spaceship have been programmed to have a cheerful Sunny disposition and I bet you thought I was sending it because a showering Zoe desel is caused for any door to moan well that's on you and your dirty minds and I suggest you go to your rooms and think long and hard about that the commercial Council of Maga thanks you for your esteemed visit the green and red outline around this hologram made me wonder if the movie had tried to do something visually funky with this guy naturally I put on my 3D glasses to check it out and immediately realized that this was a terrible idea because I hadn't used them in 15 years and they probably shouldn't smell like beef and be making my eyeballs squeak computer do something thing fell off handing over manual control good luck stealing your escape plan from star trekking Insurrection yes that was the sound of the tires screeching on a spaceship in space no I don't plan on qualifying this sin any further apparently they've turned into bowl of patunas and a very surprised looking whale well that's just absurd how would he know what a very surprised whale looks like add an probability factor of 8,767 128 to1 against turned into a bowl of patunas and a surpris looking whale those odds are better than actually winning the lottery a sperm whale had been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet and since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale look as hilarious as this is I can't in good conscience give this movie a sin off for something that Douglas Adams wrote what I can do is add a sin for not including even more of the funny [ __ ] he wrote instead it's a sort of a tingling in my well I suppose I better start funding names for things seriously the whales of The Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy deserves a sin off but I'm going to add a sin for this whale having too big a vocabulary while also somehow not having a good enough vocabul curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of patun as it fell was oh no not again fine I'll take three cents off because I was being a dick earlier many have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bow of patunas had thought that but who exactly are these many you refer to it's only Zod Arthur Ford and Marvin who know about the bowl of patunas and I'm pretty sure even they don't know what it was thinking as it fell so how did the many find out enough detail about the plummeting Pion to pontificate about them also it should be pointed out that the subtitles on this movie are terrible that's one set but the other thing is there's a Nuance I believe the movie is missing when it comes to which narrator is speaking there's a narrator of the movie but there's also the narrator of the guide and these two narrators are not the same even though both are voiced by Steven fry but ever since the guide made its appearance the movie claims it's the guide saying all these narration things and that's just fing wrong godamn it how the hell does Zod know what he means by jono slty Bart Fest rushes past the camera like a horror movie Ghost what's your name Earth man the arrival of Gandalf the N reminds me that this movie is essentially The Hobbit an Unexpected Journey in space I could calculate your chances of survival but you won't like it I think the chances of Arthur surviving are actually 100% and Marvin is directing that second part at us also there's virtually no danger in this situation and there's no way Marvin could calculate it without some variables which he doesn't have is Marvin actually useless never thought about it that way until I watched this movie despite being in direct violation of this sign shardy tart fast still has a job they're in this mini car thing that takes them onto the factory floor of a new planet and the cart is being pushed by this bifrost thing that extends for what I'm guessing is miles but where is this bifrost being stored when it's not being used as a mine car Pusher we saw the room they were in before they started going fast seems to have a very defined track I guess what I'm saying is is this huge bar seems dumb I don't like it and I don't know what to say about it anymore it is another world stupid or at least it was until the vogans destroyed it of course the world containing the most important question of the Galaxy was fittingly destroyed by the man who is currently searching for said question because the universe loves the drama of a three-act movie all I'm saying is that it's weird that this cart gets pushed by a big long bar of some sort that's all also I'm not a total party pooper so I'm fine with this being how planets are created truly but if you're Advanced enough to be in the planet creating business why do you just have one man with a paintbrush coloring this mountain and one guy with a pump filling the oceans could you not a stretch to a couple pumps and maybe spray paint they've nearly finished the oceans hold up there my friend maybe stop that water a little short of what it was at the point Earth exploded you know give us a chance to fill it up ourselves over the next Century in this shot the gun looks super Dusty and old but in the very next shot it's shiny and new for no conceivable reason other than editing it was designed by deep thought but commissioned by a Consortium of intergalactic angry Housewives this point of view gun that you shoot people with so they can see your point of view seems useful enough that it would have been mass-produced and Zod would have had to come all the way here to get one shoot them again once you shoot someone with a point of view gun why would you ever need to shoot them again this feels like you're in a video game where you have to keep asking the NPC the same question until they exhaust all their answers you actually wanted to know the question because you always wanted to know if there was more to life and now you're crushed because you find out there really isn't well that's not entirely true the question and meaning are still out there you just don't know what or where it is and you're worried you might have blown it with the one guy who really does oh that movie they spent a sum total of all time together and most of that was drunk on the run or having him explain how jealous he is I have no reason to buy that she should have any feelings for him other than mild irritation won't affect me I'm already a woman the [ __ ] I mean I I don't know this um cheese of which you speak but if snoody toot looer and his team created Earth didn't they also create cheese at the very least he should have heard of it it's the Pinnacle of human creation this amazing meal what's amazing about this meal you speak of when Arthur walked in all I saw was a bunch of Cakes and Pastries mixed with some fruit is there truly anything that constitutes a meal here I think this might be a turkey as you know we've spent a lot of time on your planet looking for this ultimate question only to have it blow up in our faces literally okay here's what I don't understand early on back slarty bolock said the planet you lived on was commissioned paid for and run by mice and before that we got a good look at this document from the vogans approving the destruction of Earth now if you look at this Clause it specifically mentions that the contractors can only do their thing with the consent of the owner and if the mice are the owners why would they approve the destruction of the planet that they need so badly and yes I haven't forgotten that Timothy shalam also said you must come with me because there' been a terrible mixup with your planet but we're never told what that mixup is how did the mice accidentally agree to the destruction of Earth anyway I am 42% positive none of that justifies the effort I spent thinking about it or the time it took me to explain it carry on also the Dolphins figured out that the Earth was going to be demolished and found a way off the planet so why didn't the mice the most intelligent life on Earth send a warning to the Galaxy about blowing it up they had 50 years to get a message out and appeal this [ __ ] now all we need is the missing piece of the puzzle which happens to be your brain why do they need Arthur's brain when they could have simply taken trillions I mean I guess it's possible that since she wasn't technically there as long as Arthur his brain is best but nobody says aing thing about why Trillion isn't selected what about what 6 * 7 or um uh how many V guns does he take this change of light bu here what how many roads must the man walk down it doesn't appear to be a reason for Pinky in the brain to slow ball this labotomy other than to give Arthur just enough time to fluke a Bob Dylan X Market my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of Happiness oh [ __ ] we're suddenly getting all deep and profound and he said penis the only question I've ever wanteded an answer to Is she the one I hate stuff like this because it's so overtly quadrant-based how are we going to appeal to everyone with with this absurd sci-fi comedy I know will put a romantic sublot in it that doesn't really fit the story or the comedy and in the effort to appeal to one group will annoy the others undoubtedly unequivocally unabashedly and don't forget the fourth dwarf of the love apocalypse skipp itly the most intelligent beings on Earth can't build proper restraints whatever I guess the bogans have a tracker on the Heart of Gold so they can find it anywhere in the universe and they track it to magara but how did they get here to Earth Mark 2 and know exactly where everybody went furthermore Arthur and slaugh Bart fast had to use a series of giant bars that pushed a mine car up and down through the planet to get here so what did the vogans use now I've got a headache Marvin survives this this gun has way more power and range than it should have also do sex Marvin wait why are the vogon still depressed I thought the point of view gun simply made you realize what someone was going through not make them live in it for eternity unless there's um anything you want to change something you think your planet could do without you yeah me look I'm not saying I'd be able to fix Earth given the opportunity but I'd give it a really good try and perhaps 10 minutes of thought instead of like quite literally removing myself from the equation I know this's great Restaurant at the End of the Universe roll sequel that will probably never be made credits this movie really isn't helped by the fact that I've seen more enjoyable chemistry in the chicken salad I discovered in the back of the fridge my old fridge that's been unplugged and neglected in my garage for several years the conclusion of this movie is brought to you by way of David at hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy a fate worse than a fate worse than death that's pretty bad here I am brain the size of a planet and they asked me to take you up to the bridge how did I come to this I played Richard theii there were five curtain calls I was an actor once damn it now look at me look at me you little brat you have never thanked me show me me what you got this an alien planet is there air you don't know out the way another one of these damn kids jumped in front of my [Music] car don't forget to bring a towel we hope you will enjoy the two nuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft nucle it's pronounced nucle yes the danger must be growing for the rowers keep on rowing and there's certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing the fish is translating for you don't wait for the translation answer me now love and kisses dayod you didn't even read it did you I was elected to lead not to read

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 163,810

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, hitchhiker's guide, douglas adams, zooey deschanel

Id: ow4PA2IGa_M

Length: 32min 31sec (1951 seconds)

Published: Tue May 28 2024