The Real 50 First Dates: Meet the man with a 30 second memory | 60 Minutes Australia

it's a most unusual marriage a love story like no other the story of a brilliant musician called clive waring and his wife deborah clive has no idea where he lives what year it is or even how old he is he has a memory span of only 30 seconds tell him something now he'll forget it almost immediately and he's been like this for 20 endless years almost certainly the worst case of amnesia in the world not surprisingly the tensions the frustrations have sorely tested the wearing's marriage but even though his brain doesn't work properly clive still has a beautiful mind and a love he can never forget [Music] [Applause] so how long has it been since you've seen clive i saw him two weeks ago does he have any idea that it's been that long no he wouldn't know if it was two minutes or ten years he doesn't know he doesn't know if he's seen me ever in the last 20 years in this compelling and complicated love story clive waring may not know when he last saw his wife deborah but he knows she is his one great passion yes is she here she's coming up soon oh i've never seen her since i've been known i've never seen a human being of any kind whatever well that's 20 years i don't know what it's like i've never seen anything for 20 years 20 years ago clive lost his memory it was sudden and irreversible it's considered the worst case of amnesia in the world no difference clive can't hold on to a thought for more than 30 seconds which means he won't remember the beginning of this conversation deborah will be here in a minute yes i've never seen her since i've been else how many years have i been unconscious you've been ill for 20 years can you imagine what's like one night 20 years long with no dreams and no thoughts the brain has been totally inactive day and night exactly the same there's no difference between this and death everything that went into his mind vanished instantly just like when snow touches warm ground it was gone and he became as he put it completely incapable of thinking when he does see you how does he normally react very pleased he'll probably jump up and down take me his arms can reach me very hard and quite possibly dance this loving reunion happens every time they meet and it's repeated countless times in a day because for clyde each time is the first time they've seen each other since he got sick clive's amnesia means he lives in a home for people with brain injuries but deborah visits as often as she can wonderful kiss you've got thank you darling i've never seen my own time about plain one where's the mirror over there oh i see and there's something you know everything is i know where everything is right isn't it you know better yeah it's definitely improvement are you ready to go to lunch please clive and debra's story began 27 years ago when the dashing conductor and choir master fell for one of his singers she was just as smitten as a heart thing i saw him i fell in love what was it that attracted you everything he was charismatic he was a giant intellect and and yet very modest and humble and sweet and funny they married in 1983. she was 25 he was 44 but what no one could guess on this happy day was that just over a year later exhausted from overwork clive would be struck down by a common virus it was a virus called herpes simplex the cold sore virus it normally goes to the mouth but it very very rarely loses its way goes to the brain and causes the brain to swell and in fact overnight from tuesday night to wednesday morning clive lost his marbles really okay so we're looking at cloud's brain here you see the damage is the dark parts the shadows the dark parts huge holes in clive's brain were picked up by a ct scan when he was first diagnosed in 1985 which means for clive what uh his memories fell out to live without memory makes clive angry when you ask him to think about it are you a happy man are you a happy man happy i've been unconscious for how many years that doesn't make happy does it so are you an unhappy man of course i am i've never seen a human being before never heard a note never seen anything at all day and night exactly the same with no dreams of any kind but the nature of his illness means that within seconds clive is happy as he forgets his agitation what would you like to do now a drink of coffee you'd like a drink of coffee could i have one yes of course what can he remember he remembers about things he doesn't remember the things themselves so he knows that i am his wife with no recollection of the wedding he remembers how to play the piano so he has his skills but there is not a single event that has ever happened his whole life that he can bring to his mind's eye [Music] hello i'm from hollywood no this is the umpteenth time i've met clive today but in his mind he's never laid eyes on me then again he's never seen this piano nor this bedroom where he's lived for the last 10 years speed up would you like to play with piano i don't know who's here yesterday i thought it was a joke [Applause] while clive hasn't lost his memory for music in the few minutes he's been playing he's forgotten almost everything else she's behind you saying the pantomime are you from buckingham palace oh i'm not from beckham do you know what you and i have just been doing i do guess no idea what do you do you remember sitting the other way on this this chair do you know what's behind us yeah it's a piano oh is it [Applause] clive still gets frustrated by his illness but he's much more at peace with himself now in the early days he found it unbearable the disease robbed him of his memory but even more cruelly left him with enough brain power to recognize his loss and how did he respond to that horror he cried he began one day to cry and he did not that crying did not cease ever not even for a moment for at least a month a good month and a half hello mr worry are you from buckingham palace i'm not from buckingham palace don't you remember me from yesterday no have you ever seen a human being since i've been ah my name's tara what a wonderful name is disarming thank you but you've never met another clive have you i haven't met his obsession with buckingham palace stems from his confusion of who i am as his first visitor in 20 years in his mind i must be very important but that doesn't help him remember me just a few minutes later you know that i met you just a few minutes ago no i've never seen anyone now i've said i've spotted your diary over there i've never seen a dog since i've been ill should we have a look at it together it's frightening when i'm either written i don't swear very often he may not remember but for the past 20 years compulsively day after day year after year clive has made a record of the moment he wakes up it's a graphic example of a man with no memory it's the same year in year out 8 40 9 10 10 o'clock now i am really perfectly awake first time a chronology of confusion and anguish do you know why these are crossed out no i don't know i've never seen it before but i didn't think it was true i'll cross out the world first clive crosses them out because he is only awake at the very moment he writes in his diary he thinks all previous entries must be wrong because he's never seen them before but it's his pleas for deborah to visit that are the hardest to read for though she visits often he has no recollection of seeing her you wrote please fly here at once darling deborah do you remember writing at infinite miles per hour since that is once and see you can read your writing i can i'm used to it do you remember writing that no why do you implore deborah to arrive here because he loved him at all what did you know well i've been working it out do you think of your relationship with him as a husband and wife or is it mother and child oh no husband and wife it's it's it's a marriage although it's obviously a part it's not an it's quite an unusual marriage let's say [Music] knew the best angel on earth it doesn't matter who's in the room they can't hide their affection for one another only knew each other for six and a half years before clive got sick he can't remember people he's known all his life yet clive can't forget deborah who needs music no who needs music madman like me even in those very first days when he couldn't communicate he could still say to you i love you yes how do you explain that because it's very very important in some words i think that are just sealed into our minds and our hearts some feelings are just sealed in and are not and not open to corruption are you from buckingham palace no unfortunately as happy as they are today for much of the last 20 years deborah has had to struggle with the desperately sad dilemma of giving up clive for a normal life a new partner and children or stay on in a marriage where only a 30-second moment counts you knew my preference didn't you just like that isn't she wonderful i ordered it oh you're as good as her how great was the pain bigger than i was uncontainable cheers in 1993 deborah made her painful choice she left moving overseas to escape climb because i was in acute emotional pain a lot of the time and and i hated england you know it was like i just couldn't cope with being there and i needed to get as far away as possible but by leaving england you're leaving clive the love of your life i mean was that i had to i couldn't endure it it was too painful so what brought you back live [Music] unable to forget clive debra returned to renew their wedding vows she's since written a book about her love for her husband [Music] i just came to understand that there was nothing more important than love there was nothing more important than um being true to who you are we had more than a lot of marriages have and that was the bottom line have you always loved deborah as much as you love her today oh yeah do you remember when you first saw her i can't remember i've never seen it since i've been known the clive and deborah wearing story is so moving because you don't know whether to be sad or happy for them of course it's a tragedy that this man of music and the arts lost so much so quickly but isn't it nice that of all the things he's forgotten he remembers what makes him happy even if it is very sad that you you haven't any conscious memory of the last 20 years i have so i remember for both of us you can let me know what happens we found out that the brain isn't everything we're more than our minds how different is your love now to when you're first married we're closer we understand each other and i love him more i'm not sure hello i'm sarah arbo thanks for watching 60 minutes australia subscribe to our channel now for brand new stories and exclusive clips every week and don't miss out on our extra minutes segments and full episodes of 60 minutes on ninenow.com.eiu and the nine now app

Channel: 60 Minutes Australia

Views: 1,311,089

Keywords: 60 Minutes, 60 Minutes Australia, Liz Hayes, Tara Brown, Liam Bartlett, Tom Steinfort, Sarah Abo, karl stefanovic, 60Mins, #60Mins

Id: nMp_dHoodoQ

Length: 15min 8sec (908 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 02 2022