Episode 66: Micah Wilder

I sang that song for more than 60 years a song of praise to Joseph Smith the prophet of the restoration and founder of the LDS Church the church I was born into the church I loved with all my heart and taught my children to believe in the church I served as a bishop for five years I knew the church was true I knew Joseph Smith was a prophet I was a faithful latter-day saint my life has been built on certain truths but wishing doesn't change the truth I didn't start out challenging my belief in the church believe me this new look at things has been gut-wrenching I know there are those of you out there watching who are in as much turmoil as I was but I hope that God will lead you to the truth jesus said you shall know the truth and the truth will make you free when I finally learned the truth about the real history and doctrines of Mormonism I realized that I was following the gospel of Joseph Smith and not the gospel of Jesus Christ I have come to learn that many others have made a similar journey out of the bondage of religion and into an authentic relationship with Jesus and that's what this show is all about courageous people who want to share their story hoping that you the viewer will discover the same new life in Jesus so if you're a latter-day Saint who is struggling with questions or seeking a genuine encounter with the Savior we invite you to join us tonight we have a joyful message that we want to share with you I'm your host Bishop Earl and I'm grateful for this opportunity I have a series of guests here over the next five six weeks that I'm excited to introduce we're going to be interviewing up close and personal the Adams road band members and we're going to start tonight with Michael Wilder for those of you that know Adams road band you'll know Michael micah wilder and so we're happy to have you with us and kind of get to know you in a different way maybe and in a personal way you were born into the church is that right I was I was I was born and raised in Indiana in the Midwest my parents were actually convert to the LDS Church they had been both actually raised in Christian households and when they were at college they had two Mormon missionaries knock on their door they end up joining the church and then we were all born in it and raised in it and always very active always very faithful you know basically you know grew up doing everything that we were taught to do followed all the laws fought all the commandments went to church every week you know and I was just even as a youngster I was pretty zealous and I was the type of kid that always prided myself and you know having every leadership calling and the Deacons quorum and teachers and priests Korman yeah this was in Indiana we had kind of a unique experience happened when I was a teenager and that was that we left Indiana moved to Utah and the reason why we moved is because my mother got a teaching job as a professor Brigham Young University and that was really kind of a big shock for us coming out of the culture in Indiana where I was one of three or four LDS people my entire school too you know going to Alpine Utah where there were like three or four that weren't LDS so yes there's a big is a big culture shock for me but at the same time it really entrenched me even deeper into the culture and I almost fell in love more with the LDS Church and religion because I you know had friends in it and I had you know just our whole family kind of got a lot stronger in it and I just lived it and loved it in high school I remember going to the temple to do baptisms for the dead like before school I used to get up with my friend and my girlfriend and we go out like 5:30 in the morning and go to Temple about and it was just I wasn't one of those people that lived it because everybody else around me did I lived it because I truly believed it you know I really believed I had that witness that that emotional testimony you know the feeling the burning in the bosom I felt like I really had that and I lived it and I loved it and I I prided myself and following the rules and living the laws and in doing everything right you know and that was just the type of LDS person that I was and how do you read the book of Mormon there yeah I'd read it numerous times at that point and I I loved the Book of Mormon you know I fell in love with the Book of Mormon yeah absolutely yeah and I really I remember getting at that point where I was probably about 17 16 or 17 and I really started looking forward to my mission you know and that was part of why I would go and do baptisms for the dead in the morning and that was part of why you know I was so active you know in church every week is because I was trying to kind of prepare myself and make myself worthy you know to go and be a missionary and I told her brothers it did the same thing and I really looked up to them and I love them and I wanted to know kind of yeah yeah my oldest brother went to Russia and my next oldest brother Matt went to Denmark and and so I kind of want to fall in their footsteps and so I graduate from high school I went to Brigham Young University for semester and I had a very kind of interesting experience at Brigham Young because when I was there I was very distractive for my schoolwork and you know what distracted me was going getting ready for my mission and I was I was know yeah not a girl I was so obsessed with preparing myself to go on a mission yeah and I remember when I went through the temple for the very first time and I remember I just fell in love with it I went to the Salt Lake Temple I fell in love with it in fact I got kind of so obsessed with the temple that as soon as I finish my semester Brigham Young University I went to the temple president at the Timpanogos temple in American Fork and I said I just want to serve you know I love the temple I want to be here every day I don't want to work I don't want to be hanging out with friends I don't want to be with my girlfriend I just want to be in the temple and I want to help myself I was 18 years old at this point just a couple months before I was gonna go on my mission and I he said you know I really appreciate that and right there on the spot he set me apart to be a full-time temple worker and so starting I think a day or two later I was a veil worker in the LDS temple the temple olgas temple five sometimes six days a week I would be you know working at the veil for eight hours a day and sometimes I'd stay longer and help out doing baptisms for the dead and I mean I really at that point my testimony was just completely entrenched in the LDS Church and there was never a doubt in my mind you know do you think the how did you feel about Jesus at this point with and God mm-hmm since we the emphasis in the temple at least on the creation and so on what yeah what was your feeling about them I was a very to put it may be I was a very Jesus centered Mormon and that you know I had a testimony Joseph Smith I had a testimony of you know the LDS Church of the Prophet and the Book of Mormon and all this but it always kind of led me towards Jesus and I always wanted to know him more Wow you know but of course the Jesus and Mormonism is a Jesus that saves us after we do all that we can do and so I think I was always striving and seeking his grace and seeking his love and I was trying to earn that love and that was a different yeah that's why I was going to the temple every day that's why I was you know I'm trying so hard to make myself worthy is because I thought that I needed to earn His grace and to earn his love and that only by proving myself could I receive that Wow so you get called on a mission I did get called on a mission I was originally actually called to Mexico City Mexico and and I was so excited to go there I you know read all the books and you know got on the internet and was looking about the culture and researching and I was practicing my Spanish the little I knew at the time and I went to the MTC and I was just gung-ho and I actually had an experience where I was playing basketball in the MTC and I didn't get hit nobody touched me I wasn't around anybody and all of a sudden I had this really sharp pain in my chest and I end up having to go the hospital it turned out that my lung had collapsed it was a very kind of freaky experience and at that point I actually was unable to go to Mexico City I just a state and yeah they told me that I wasn't allowed to leave the country and that's actually when my mission call got changed to Orlando Florida which kind of in the big picture is amazing because you know that's where God to change my life was was in Orlando tell us about that experience it's only about six months into your mission right yeah yeah it was only about six months into my mission you know including the MTC where I was going about tracting and knocking on doors and and I had to say I was a very zealous missionary you know I was called as a district leader very early on in my mission I became his own leader very early on and I was kind of a letter the law type missionary where I wanted to you know follow every commandment and so I was with my mission companion and we were going around and we drove by a Calvary Baptist Church in Winter Garden Florida and it was a Sunday evening and it was raining and we didn't want to knock doors because nobody wants to have knock doors in the rain and their entire parking lot was full of cars and we obviously assumed that they were having some sort of service and and we were just so extremely zealous about our faith in the LDS Church that we decided in our hearts and our minds that they needed the gospel they needed to be saved so we pulled right Kongregate the whole congregation I mean you know we believed you know and sincerely we believe that they didn't have the message of the restored gospel and we thought that that was something that that would bring them you know eternal happiness and so we went into this church we sat down I sat through the the entire church service and I have to say that I was very moved and I remember even being moved to tears and what was so unique about it is that they were having a youth testimony night and every single youth that got up and shared their testimony it was completely centered on Jesus Christ there wasn't anything about the Baptist Church there wasn't anything about their leadership it was about Jesus Christ and how he had made an impact in their lives and that really moved me that was that really moved me but at the same time I was so entrenched in Mormonism that I thought well you know they're still lost you know I'm really moved by this and yes they love Jesus and I love Jesus but they need the full you know message of the gospel so we introduced ourselves to the pastor afterwards we sat down with him and he was very loving and open and kind and he you know invited us right into his office and gave us an opportunity to share our message and that was what was kind of unique is that he didn't try to you know step on our toes he just sat there and listened to our message for literally probably an hour we'll representing him the first discussion we talked about you know the God calling prophets and then we talked about you know yes Jesus planning his church and then the apostasy and the restoration the Book of Mormon all this and and we go through this whole process and and I'm you know really emotional about it I'm you know really passionate about it I'm trying to you know convey my testimony to him and you know I know that the Book of Mormon is true and he's just sitting there and he's he's very emotionless and he's not saying a word and and I was actually thinking in my heart that he was silent because he might be converting yeah and so I kind of started getting this anticipation of him confessing that he want to be baptized I see yeah yeah and obviously I didn't realize at the time though that the message that we were sharing with him was very based in works you know it was works based and we were telling him that there were certain works and ordinances and steps that he needed to do on his own merit in order to be saved not realizing that if this was a man who truly knew Jesus and His grace that that wasn't good news at all yeah you know so we finished this and I'm waiting for what he's gonna say and he looks as square in the eyes and this is the very first thing he says and he says thank you for your message I appreciate your sincerity but what you have shared with me is not the gospel of Jesus Christ yeah and that was that really hit me hard because I like I mentioned earlier I'd never had to doubt about the LDS Church and I had never once in my life considered that what I believed was not the only way to eternal life and this guy just told me point-blank that this whole message that we believed was the message of eternal life it wasn't the gospel and of course that really shook me up and it kind of angered me and at that point I really just wanted to get up and leave because I figured all this is just some anti Mormon guy now he's just gonna be mean to us you know but something about the way that he dealt with it and the love and the respect that he had it just kind of kept me seated you know and the fact that he had sat there and listened to us I almost felt obligated to sit there and listen to him and and the very first thing he did was that he opened up the Word of God he opened up the Bible and he started to teach me about Grace and it's a whole new concept this was a completely new concept to me I mean my entire life I had been taught and believed and was convinced that grace was only given to me upon my own doing it was conditional upon the things that I did and so I had always sought and worked so hard to earn his love and to earn his grace and to work my way into eternal life and he opened up the Word of God and he just shared with me about a Jesus and a God and a love that was so much greater than anything I had been ever offered through the Mormon Church and just a couple scriptures that he shared with me and Titus that says that when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared he saved us not because of works done by us and righteousness but according to his own mercy and then the one that made the biggest impact on me is when he opened up the book of Ephesians and read chapter 2 verses 8 and 9 and it says for by grace you have been saved through faith it's not your own doing it's a gift of God not by works so that no one could boast and that was really the first time in my life that someone had told me that salvation was a free gift that that salvation was something being offered to me by God through Jesus Christ you couldn't and that there was nothing I could do to work for or earn my way into that gift and I remember him reading a Romans chapter 3 verses 23 and it says for all have sinned an all fall short of the glory of God but we are justified by His grace as a gift this was all this night this was all this this experience yes sitting down with this pastor do you understand what he was saying at that moment I I didn't you know I mean I got the gist of it but it went over my head because working but it affected me but at the time it affected me in a negative way and I actually was was kind of angered by the message of grace because I thought well that just doesn't seem right I mean you know how can how can something as great as eternal life is salvation just be offered to us freely you know and I saw I saw that is kind of arrogant I saw what we need to do our part you know we need to follow the necessary steps that have been established for us to to get into the kingdom of heaven and Hebrews chapter 4 I think summarizes it where it says that the Word of God is living and asked and sharper than any two-edged sword and I think that's what really affected me was the the piercing of the word of God for the first time in my life because I was unable to contend with it and he just read scripture after scripture after scripture that showed and Illustrated that salvation was bought and paid for in and through the blood of Jesus Christ and by him alone and that there was nothing I could do and nothing I could ever do that could add on to what Jesus Christ had already done for me yeah and that it wasn't about me working it wasn't about me doing righteous works there was one righteous work and the one act of righteousness once and for all offered on the cross for me and Jesus Christ was beckoning me to come to him and and and to lay down my works and to lay down my burden and to give it to him and accept that he was the only way and that was the first time I ever heard the gospel that was a beautiful message and trying to trying to comprehend that must have so did you you studied and try I think you said once at some point you tried to prove him wrong exactly exactly and so after he went through this whole process of presenting this message of the gospel I was frustrated I was angry I kind of yelled at him I read some book of Mormon scriptures that were kind of condemning of him for not believing in the Book of Mormon I mean it was really embarrassing and as I was leaving I was really frustrated and he stopped me and he looked at me and he challenged me in love to go home and to read the Bible as a child and those were the very specific words he said was to eat as a child and I have to say you know as an LDS person I had read the Bible in parts I never read the thing all the way through I'd never read the entire New Testament from cover to cover and that's what this pastor shared if man he promised me he attached a promise to it and he said if I did that that God would open my eyes and that he would change my life and I would see the gospel of Jesus Christ and that that never left my heart after he shared that and it just kind of echoed in my mind and it just made me more angry I'll admit you know I'm so kind of caught up in my pride my arrogance at the time and my religiosity especially when we know what the true church is yeah yeah I mean I knew I had a test you know I knew that what he was saying was wrong and so I got home and I really kind of struggled with in my heart and I couldn't really get this experience out of my mind you know this experience that I had with this Minister and I really kind of looked at my Bible and I finally gave in to reading the Bible and I gave in not because I thought that I had something to learn not because I wanted to learn about this gospel he he shared with me but because I wanted to prove him wrong is I think a lot of people who are religious start that process because they think that they're going to solidify their own faith through through the Bible and I thought I could do that and so as an LDS missionary about six months into my mission I picked up the Word of God and I started reading the New Testament every single day and that's really when when God started to make a change in my life Wow so did you in have a born-again experience would you say or this is a process through it was very much a process for me you know because I had been taught and believed my entire life and believed you know so sincerely in my heart that salvation came through the through the LDS Church through religion through works you know through my own personal righteousness and and as I read the New Testament and I read the Gospels and then I got into the epistles I started to see the big picture of what the message of salvation really was and and I realized that it wasn't about what I could do for God it wasn't about me proving myself to God yeah it was accepting that God had proved his love to me and that while I was still a sinner Christ Jesus died for me yeah and that's why it was called the gospel the good news that I had no hope upon my own merit that I had no righteousness upon myself I had no worthiness through anything that I could ever do but that Jesus Christ in his perfection in his worthiness as the Lamb of God offered himself as a sacrifice on my behalf yeah you know and that he offered himself as a ransom for all and he paid the price for the sins of the entire world and I never knew that I never knew that his blood was enough that His grace was sufficient and that if I accepted him by faith then I could know that I was saved and I know it totally changed my life why do you think Mormons don't understand that why are they still blind to that I mean they probably hear your message now tonight hopefully and will they understand that well they appreciate what you're really saying I hope so yeah we hope but I think you know like where I was at that point in my life when that that Minister shared the gospel with me I was so convinced in my heart that I had to prove myself to God and I think that's what it is it's through religion you know we're taught and were shown through you know LDS doctrine that we have to do our part and so we believe and have a hard time accepting in this love that is so much greater than what we know through religion because his love offers Grace freely you know and I remember reading Ephesians chapter 2 verse 4 that says that God being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our trespasses God made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved and I realized for the first time in my life as a religious man that I was dead you know that I was working for and trying to earn something that Jesus Christ had been offering me freely the entire time and never under and you didn't understand and I thought because of I was work because of working in the temple and I thought because I was a zone leader in the mission and I thought because I was keeping the rules that I was a righteous person and I didn't really acknowledge myself or think of myself as a sinner shocking isn't it yeah I didn't really realize who I was as a sinner and that's what was revealed to me that I was a sinner who needed grace and the only solution to my sin was Jesus Christ and and when I started reading the Bible you know the only thing I can compare it to is like in John chapter 4 when Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well right and he says if you drink of this water speaking of the physical water you will be thirsty again but if you drink of the water that I will give you will never be thirsty forever and and that's the simple Gospel message yeah yeah yeah and it was so simple yeah so beautiful and so I got to the point and you were asking about did I have a born-again experience this was the remainder of my two-year mission so nearly a and 1/2 of going through the Bible and really struggling in my heart to accept what he's teaching well that yeah in itself because as I was learning truths through God's Word and as I was coming to the knowledge of grace and love I started to teach that you know and I got by the time I was at the end of my two-year mission I was no longer trying to convert people into the Mormon Church I was trying to share with them the good news of Jesus Christ yeah did your missionaries catch that little subtle difference they did they most definitely did but I think they were impacted by that because they they felt through things yeah love that that they had never known through the LDS Church and I remember a book that was really impact from my life was a book of first John where it explains that God Himself is love you know and I realize it's all about love it's all about God's love for us that he sent His Son Jesus Christ into the world that we might live through him and I love that passage where it says you know and this is love not that we loved God but that God sent His only Son to be a propitiation for our sins and Wow it was just a completely life-changing and life transforming process of going through the Bible and you know if anyone is in Christ he's a new creation and God changed my life and at that point I only had two weeks to go on my mission and I had completely given my life to the Lord I'd become a born-again Christian and obviously that put me in a difficult situation yeah you mentioned I know I've heard this about your giving your last kind of testimony to the missionaries yep and you share it anyway the testimony you had of Jesus and yep and then you came home and had an experience of with your state president right right and after God had made that change in my life for those the people familiar with LDS culture there's a departing testimony on your mission it was then that I shared my witness of Jesus Christ and because of that I ended up getting called in my mission president's office I was questioned you know about my faith in the LDS Church and of course I didn't have faith in the LDS Church anymore I only had faith in Jesus Christ and at that point they actually kicked me off my mission you know threat with excommunication and deemed me unworthy to be a missionary because of my profession that it was Jesus Christ that saved not the LDS Church not any Church of religion that Jesus alone is the way the truth and the life and yeah and then I had to go home to Utah and face my family and go through that entire process of the gospel with them and that's interesting you say that because we are in the Church of Jesus Christ or we were in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints right you've developed a greater relationship with Jesus and you're being criticized and even condemned for for having that faith so we've only got just a couple of minutes left let me ask you a couple of quick questions you're married yes so you have children yep and and you attend a non-denominational kind of a church that children enjoy going to church oh absolutely they enjoy fellowship being the word and my wife is actually my girlfriend from Lone Peak high school my mom and girlfriend who wrote me every week of my tea or machine made it for you and as I was going through my transformation process shared the gospel with her and she became a believer and we got married and I have three kids now oh that's terrific yeah so our Mormons Christian it's a big question that's always asked I think I think that Mormonism is not Christian because it doesn't follow the direction given by the New Testament of how we are saved yeah I think individual believers can accept Jesus Christ into their heart I think they can be born again and know his love but I think that will eventually lead them out of the LDS Church kind of like you were that last year-and-a-half of your mission probably more more born-again and it's still exactly integer what I was going through that process I never realized that that was going to lead me out of the LDS religion but that was inevitably what happened because I could not profess that Jesus was the only way and continue to bind myself to a religious system that taught me that they were the way and they were who with all the works and the rites and so if a LDS persons having a question about their faith or the history or just feeling this way about things what should they do my best advice is to go to the Bible open up the New Testament and to read the Word of God trust the word that gods brought his word forward absolutely and and to be transformed by the message of the good news and to see the simplicity of what Jesus Christ has done for all of us and that is pay the price for our sins Wow Oh Micah thanks so much I know you're busy you spend what four or so months a year four months a year traveling with the band and and the rest of the time you're in Florida and has it been enjoyable it's been amazing yeah you know I've never had the joy that I've had what I accepted Jesus Christ in my heart that's not to say that life is easy you know which in fact I think it got a lot more difficult but I had the the eternal peace now of knowing that that I have security through Jesus Christ well I sure appreciate your testimony and how you feel about the Bible and the Savior now and about Jesus and what he's done for us any last last thing in the last few seconds we have but I just encourage you know anybody that this questioning you know to put your trust in Jesus and and I'm a witness that Jesus can offer you something that religion never can and that's that's you know the bread of life and the Living Waters that satisfies our hunger and quenches our thirst in a way that religion never can thanks Mike a good night you see you next week

Channel: Ex-Mormon Files

Views: 7,517

Rating: 4.7315435 out of 5

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Id: dnBUuPgrioc

Length: 28min 8sec (1688 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 16 2013