Episode 3: The Law of Divorce // Marriage with Raul Ries (Matthew 5:31-32)

in sometimes the parent is speaking against the mother or the mother against the father and what happens it brings bitterness bitter you might hear today it brings bitterness in me that happened to you because of your parents I really that's happened today because of your parents and if you're that parent listen carefully to the Holy Spirit to make sure don't make another mistake God has forgiven you there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Holy Spirit and God established marriage a sophistical spiritual and notice and social union of one man and one woman [Music] [Music] this morning we're gonna have a special message we've been speaking on marriage it will be a message on divorce that's a real hard topic to teach because of all the divorces they are taking place in the church outside of the church but I want you to turn to Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 to 32 Matthew 5 31 to 32 and if you've been divorced don't yet condemned you know we're we want to teach you know for the next generation also so there's not another divorce you know among your family among yourselves and I guess Jesus the way he did it was really amazing he went back to the Old Testament as he came to the New Testament in Matthew and Mark and then in Corinthians in Colossians Ephesians and Peter he brings out this topic and also the apostles to make sure because there was so much divorce even in the early church they was taking place so let's read Matthew chapter 5 31 to 32 he says furthermore it has been told or said whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce but I say unto you Jesus speaking that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery now you gotta understand it in that culture anyone that I committed adultery they were stoned to death they were taken out to the gates of the city gates and they would take them and stone him to death going back into the Old Testament you have you know Moses in the book of Deuteronomy setting up the whole council for divorce which the Pharisees and the scribes were abusing they were abusing at this particular time to condemn people but Jesus comes along and he writes not only in matthew but he goes on in mark luke and then goes into john and then all the way to the book of first Peter and you know you know families you might know families or maybe here today that are suffering because of divorce it breaks up the family it breaks up children children suffer you know it brings confusion to children and then it brings bitterness also to children because of what's taking place I knew a guy that came to Calvary Chapel here they had five marriages and five divorces never satisfied and a lot of times is not the husband's fault or the wife's fault the enemy Satan knows exactly how to destroy families for sure and I would pray this morning that as God speaks to our hearts that we would listen and not be condemned but that we make the best of it so that we can continue to be an example to our children to our grandchildren to our neighbors so those that we work with that they can see the hey we're getting along this is what's happening yes we blew it and this is now in Christ Jesus what I'm doing what causes divorce give you a couple things infidelity not being faithful to your mate not loving your wife her husband anymore abuse verbal physical emotional abuse lasting after someone else sharing your problems with someone that also has the same problems that you're having in your marriage you go to the gym your work wherever in you're talking to a woman or talking to a guy you said you know what I'm struggling my measures is what's going on my house they go oh me too it's why they started talking with conversing one another and pretty soon they find themselves that they're in love with each other and that happens all the time and I get concerned because we love you guys we love the church we love everyone here and we won the best where y'all want the best for my life you know I've been married 50 years but it doesn't mean a perfect man man we've had our problems big problems we were having some problems years ago I went to see Chuck and he direct us to a Romain if you need a Romain you know he was a marine for 20-some years and now we want to see him and he says you know what this and this and that and from that point you know we got the council then I got beat up by Grameen but you know what it was the best thing that ever happened in my life the best thing and I hope that this morning the Word of God will speak to you fully completely that God will just bless you I know it's you and then when you leave here your marriage is going to be better but also warning to those that are single the one that you're gonna get married you're gonna be in a place where you have to make decisions you're it's always interesting when you're doing the wedding you have the one bacterium of the rights vector and then the brightness up here and all of a sudden you know he's kind of looking at her and she's coming out with dad and then I say who gives us woman to be married this man and he says I do and then he goes he regrets but comes up here and then they're looking at each other with Google eyes you know you know I love you so much and then there's nothing I said I've fainted believe it or not they fainted because they're so nervous and locked her knees and yearly go down you know but it's incredible they repeat the the vows you know I can remember when I got married I wasn't a Christian my wife had gotten pregnant she was a Christian you know we've gone through a lot of things in our lives but I never ever thought of divorce ever I knew that I had the responsibility to take care of my kid and to take care of their wife I knew that I when I got to just when I got to the Marine Corps I got to just work for the bank of America if for the Union bag and I would be home late at night because I'd be working from one job to the other job because I was taught to take care of my wife and my kids I was taught that and of course in the Marine Corps they're not disciplined and so when I would do that my wife and I I was in the Christian we lived in Orange County because I got medical there can we moved over here and as we were living here yeah I started the abuse Rilla abuse you know going out with women in commit adultery doing this doing that never took drugs never drink but the violence was heavy I really believe now that the Lord protected my wife fully and completely maybe you're here today you're being verbally abused or maybe you're being abused physically or maybe there's other ways that you're being treated in not as a wife or maybe as a husband because wife also can get in the in their marriage you will see when we get to the book of Ephesians that Paul the Apostle never ever speaks wives are to love their husbands ever you don't find that but three times he says to the husband love your wives you can only love your wife when you love the Lord and when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing in your marriage then your wife will submit your wife will come and she will deal with you and she will love you and she'll work with you that's what the Bible teaches if you wanted after you leave here one is examine that scriptures go to first Peter 3 go to Ephesians chapter 5 Colossians 3 first Corinthians chapter 7 and then in Matthew chapter 19 and here in chapter 5 and then mark chapter 10 you have all these scriptures that talk about in of course Genesis which were a study God made male and female and brought them together as one and then when they became a husband and wife remember we said it's like 2x4 stick in the glue gluing up together leave them overnight for the next day then go back out and try to split the pieces of wood you can't unless you take a hammer and chisel and then it's all splintered there's a lot of a lot of marriages that are splinter out there and I pray for you that God will touch your lives but also as your marriage is splintered you know we as men have a responsibility not only to love our wives that they take care of them financially physically in every way in this all said because when people come to talk to me about their marriage there's guys that say well my wife left me you know she doesn't want to come back and this is why I asked her are you spiritually or go home and then he says can you call my wife I said that's not my wife you call your wife you know and and and these guys you know they want to make sure you know what my wife I said well what did you do what were you doing to her and most of the time they were not the spiritual leaders of their homes and Satan came into your home and attacked your home you need to be the spiritual leader of your home if your wife wants to read with you then that's cool you don't read three our story you know she's gonna put up with it you know just take time to read maybe a chapter and and go through the layout chapter by chapter and you'll get less you'll begin to see wow this is the way God wanted me to be in my marriage this is the way it is we go back to the Old Testament in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 the Pharisees were abusing God's Word changing it for themselves to take away their yield in Deuteronomy 24:1 and when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce puts it on her hand sensor Idol house and when she has departed from his house and ghost becomes another man's wife if later husband he tests her and writes her a certificate of divorce puts her in her hand and sends her out of his house or if the later husband dies who took her as his wife then the former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled for that is an abomination before the Lord and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is given to you as in inheritance this is in the Old Testament the Bible first of all mentions a certificate this missile for your marriage the certificate did not make the divorce right but only gave the woman some protection some protection because once she was dismissed who's gonna support me who's gonna be behind me going back to my parents number one it is protected by reputation from slander from slander if she was not you know guilty then they were still slander you secondly freedom for her former husband and her consequent right to remarry to remarry thirdly a literal rendering of the Hebrew word translated this way indecency into the romantic 24/1 the nakedness of a thing now the only other place in the entire Bible where the Hebrew term is used in the previous chapter 23 verse 13 and 14 just so what it says and you shall have an implement among your equipment let's begin how the they're laboring and when you sit down outside you shall deal with it and turn and cover your fu for the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp to deliver you and give your enemies over to you therefore your camp shall be holy that you may see no unclean thing among you and turn away from you the same word used in 24 Deuteronomy 24 when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has fun somewhat uncleanness in her and he writes her a certificate of the awards puts it in her hand and since her out of his house notice no right for a woman I don't love you get on my house now the meaning of the word here includes every kind of improper shameful thing or to a woman embarrassing to her husband he cannot refer to adultery why because there was a penalty for that even when it happened during the engagement period we're not you had sex someone else they will stone you to death there was no grace but judgment Leviticus 20:10 says the man who commits adultery with another man's wife who commits adultery with his neighbor's wife the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death see put to death before destroys a union between who between a husband and a wife God put you together you need to live together the unit of marriage is one which God as the creator never desires to be broken in every sector but it happens it happens guys are on drugs alcohol so you know they have to get divorced because the way he was living bringing abuse of the home I mean I've seen so much drugs alcohol or you know you're getting beat by your husband and maybe the wife's drinking drugs and there are situations like that but you know what hurts your children watching you your grandchildren to you and it happens they get hurt because now my mom and dad are no longer there but now here and there and on the weakest I'll go here the weakest I'll go over here and it brings confusion to the children briefs confuses the children in sometimes the parent is speaking against the mother or the mother against the father and what happens it brings bitterness bitter you might be or today it brings bitterness in me that happened to you because of your parents oh really that's happened today because of your parents and if you're that parent listen carefully to the Holy Spirit to make sure don't make another mistake God has forgiven you there was no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Holy Spirit and God established marriage a sophistical spiritual and notice in social union of one man and one woman one man and one woman but you say well there's people that are divorcing that's not three people yeah it happens but if you're really repenting you come to Christ God will forgive you no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus you're not condemned but if you're in the world you're always always looking for somebody else we had guys here from other churches coming here and picking up some of the women here women they were married they've been calling each other before they came here and that happens you go to the gym at work you know at the gross a struggle leave it or not somebody comes to you and they say you know what I'm having problems with my husband well you know what I'm impossible my wife and you start communicating sharing your problems and pretty soon you find yourself in bed committing adultery that happens all the time get on your knees and ask God to forgive you love your wives began to pray begin to me begin to study begin to go to church with her don't force her don't push yourself on her because she'll resent you but you sure that you've changed sure you're taking the leadership of your home and then God will you know through His grace his love and mercy will come along and says you know what I'm gonna bring you back together and there are times where she'll never come back or he'll never come back that happens that happens all the time many many times and maybe you're here today and you suffer through that you've been hurt tremendously and it happens you know in that hurt that you have today know one thing that Jesus loves you whether you're male or female and that your children love you you need to love your children you need to be with your children as much as you can and I know the courts sometimes you know they'll say you get them here to get them there well whatever the court says you pray remember they're not your children that God's children and God has ways of changing men and women so they have a children can be happy the children can not only be happy but they get brought up in the ways of the Lord because maybe the mother's not a Christian by the father's a Christian and every time you get your child as a father you need to know the Word of God that's the Word of God if you don't know the Word of God what are you gonna give to your children zero and your children grow up without the Word of God and your children will run it to the world and destroy their lives and they say well I was never telling my home about the Lord and there are grandparents and they're awesome because they teach her grant you they love them you know but I mean at the same time you know you have wisdom to touch your grandkids to love their mom to love their dead not just to love you but their mom and dad too pray for them you're teaching and when they come over our house we pray together and people that pray together stay together for sure because God says in his word that we are not only to pray together we are to love one another together and that's something in my life that I feel sorry for so many people because God established marriage physically spiritually social union with one man one woman but like I said you're here you divorce your wife or husband you're in second marriage you know what don't feel condemned don't do it again don't do it again make sure you pray with your fight with your wife and your husband and you pray for your first wife or first husband that God will touch your lives if for what they went through what you went through and your children what they went through so that God will cleanse their minds in their hearts and they can grow up to say you know what my dad and mom they apologize to each other they love each other even though they went through this thing that was not right yet they're trying to do what's right because you're honoring your wife in your honor in the husband you're not gonna commit adultery and yet it happens it happens all the time it happens because you get to the point as a husband and you hate your wife or the wife hits the husband they're having problems to their husband communicate with them pretty soon they tell you their problems in pootie's when you end up in bed with them adultery but it's a Christian it should not happen it should not happen that's a Christian you need to get on your face and ask God to forgive you it has got to give you the strength and the wisdom and the knowledge and he goes on to say God confirms his absolute hatred of divorce notice in the book of Malachi so here it is the book of Malachi chapter 2 verse 13 and this is the second thing you do you cover the altar of the Lord with tears weeping and crying so he does not regard the offering anymore now receive it with good will for your hands you shall say for what reason because the Lord has been witnessed between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously yes she is your companion and your wife I covenant but they he not make them one having a remnant of the spirit and why one he seeks a godly offspring therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth for the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce four covers one's garment with violence saith the Lord of hosts therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth so you've got once healing this is the Old Testament and the Old Testament was law we're living under the grace of God yes yes divorce brings tears to the woman to the man his Sanctus is so painful so painful and it takes not one day it takes months and some things here to be okay my mom and dad you know they were married for a long time and right before they came to Christ a divorce for one year and then they came back together but you know it hurt us that after all those years they're going to divorce you know but I mean think about your marriage it's not easy you know I mean we go through things in our lives and you know I I do that because there's so many pastors said my marriage is so perfect and it's a lie from the pit of hell because it's not a love I know a lot of those guys you know I'm at night I'm looking to see what they're saying and recording them but now seriously I mean you know we need to know that make sure you examine your life and think God what shall I do again into the money $24 on of me he says what when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in there we're gonna find uncleanness in everyone anyone and everyone but that's why we're under the grace of God his love his grace his she said he gives to us and as you become that father or that wife or that mother to make sure you love your children they can see that you love each other that you communicate with each other you take promise together and you're selfless problems together I'll tell you why because if the husband is not the head of the home the wife will become the head of the home and then there's big problems my wife had to become the head of her home my kids because I was in the head I was doing my own thing but when I came to Christ I understood I read the scriptures and the scripture speaks that even as Christ as the head of the home so much the husband be the head of his wife and so I guess this morning as we sit here and we speak about this divorce thing you know that before you leave here I hope you take care other in your life in Ephesians chapter 2 for he says that God who is rich in mercy because of his great love in which he loved us even when we were dead in trespasses made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved and raised up together and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus that and the ages to come he might short exceeding riches of His grace in his kindness toward us in Christ Jesus for by grace you have been saved through faith and that's not of yourselves it is a gift of God not of works as anyone should boast for we are his workmanship he has poema he says created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in there he always says 42 times in the features in Christ in Christ in Christ speaking of our position in Christ not outside of Christ man in Christ our position John 3:16 we all know that verse for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life for God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world God doesn't condemn you he doesn't condemn me for there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1 for God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved might be safe guess what he brought peace to your life too Romans 5:1 therefore having been justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom also we have access by faith into the grace which we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God and not only that but we also glory in tribulations you go into a tribulation notice knowing that tribulation produces perseverance perseverance character and character hope now hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts how by the Holy Spirit of God given to us the Holy Spirit of God we need the Holy Spirit our lives before you came to Christ he was with you convicting you when you accept the Christ he came into your life and a lot of people stopped in the inexperience but in the book of Acts he speaks of the third thing and that's the upon experience in the upon experience to be witnesses but also to have the power over sin the power over sin how do I love my wife how do I love my husband how to take care of my situations problems the husband becoming the one that provides for the wife in the home in the children he goes to work she stays home and takes care of the child and some can do that because they can afford it but I would say to each one here this morning that remember what Jesus is teaching in the New Testament here's the court by Henry Smith he says first he must choose his love and then he must love his choice again first he must choose his love and then he must love his choice and who gives you that choice God Himself he doesn't make mistakes we make mistakes in the Garden of Eden remember in Genesis 2:21 where he says and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam God so the emptiness of Adam they had all the animal kingdom and God says you know he's by himself he needs a partner he says and I caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and then he took one of his ribs the word rib there as he took you know it's one of the closest part to his heart the woman to the closest part of the heart and he took the woman's wrist and closed up the flesh in its place and then the rib which the Lord had taken he knows from the men he made it into a woman in the hebrew asia men ish just at an 8 and from men he made it to a woman and he brought her to the man who brings her this is important if you're not married wait till the Lord brings you the husband or the wife you don't go out looking you give yourself a big trouble it's there but you don't understand I work with this person that I've been going out with that's great people come in one time they told me you know we've been together sleep in our home for six months can you marry us I say should separate for six months then come back and see me and see if you really love each other and that's important because a lot of times guys want to have sex and once we're done with you they'll get somebody else so you have to be careful and a lot of those marriages end up in divorce because you find out this guy used me and he never loved me it's so your divorce him and then he said this and in that and said this is not most of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of the men therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother you leave home and be glued unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh one flesh and so I we the body of Jesus Christ have learned about what divorce we need to be careful God loves us he cares for you as a husband and wife and if you're going by not through divorce you pray you pray for that said they God will stop them and God will bring them back that's not gonna do that and I will pray for you I don't know you but I will pray for you I will pray for this church that God will put together all of us as husbands and wives as the body of Christ so that we can continue to know him powerfully so our kids and everyone can see that we are Christians that we are critius let me read from the book of Ephesians think the scripture is very important this morning here in chapter 5 he says verse 22 he starts wife submit to your own husband's as unto the Lord you know submit not love for the husband he's a head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is a savior of the body he says therefore because of this just as the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husband's in everything husbands one time love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her he says that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word husbands you gotta teach the Bible to your wives you got to pray with him you got to read the Word of God do I have three our Bibles I said how to pray with them reading scripture that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish so husbands here comes again to love their own wives as he loves his own body he who loves his wife loves himself your husband look in the mirror all the time you go to the gym the guys are looking all over the place if you're a husband aid he says love your wife just as your body and then he says for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes said just as the Lord notice thus the church we are the church your wives that type of the church and then he says this is important for we are members of his body and of his flesh in his bones for this reason he repeats again for this reason he says a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be glued on to his wife in the two shall become one flesh this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ in the church nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife third type as he himself and let the wife see that she reverence her husband she will only do that if her husband loves her if you're taking care of her you watching over her but he never says love your husband he says submit to your husbands the only way you can submit is by loving your wife that's the only way and you see in divorce you can't really submit to one another until you come to Christ until you break down and you say Lord forgive me Lord I want to be right I want to do what's right so other people can see our testimony and when they see that testimony they'll begin to say you know what the Word of God does work the Word of God does work especially in the church I knew them and I know them and I can't believe what God has done in their lives amazing amazing what God has done 2nd Timothy says 2:15 be diligent to present yourself approved to God as the worker that doesn't need to be ashamed but rightly dividing the word of truth you see the word of God has to be read has to be deal with it in in truth not falsely as the Pharisees did they would change the Scriptures and I'll conclude with this God gave me this today marriages are on the rocks because they are not built on the real rock Jesus Christ Jesus Christ is the main father I pray for this beautiful people Lord Lord I pray for each one of them God Lord I pray for the young and Lord we ask you that as you have spoken to us Lord Lord that you would continue to bless these people Lord oh Lord we love them though we want to care for them Jesus low appear that they would pray for us Lord and lord I pray that you would continue to move and love there's anybody here that doesn't know Yugi says somebody invited them to be or they came with their wives Lord not that today would be the day of salvation that today they would give their hearts eel or male or female and Lord that you were touched that you would baptize some of us one third of those getting married each year have been married before and again the first marriages sometimes you know they get very very discouraged and sometimes they get so discouraged they can't some can never be married again they're bitter though they're hurting or whatever the situation may be you know children are the ones that really get hurt they turn bitter depressed to the point believe it or not that some commit suicide because they love their parents so much and now the parents are divorced it's very hard to be in one house to the other house one holiday here another holiday here and they're really depressed people and then the devil's always condemning people because they have divorce specially in the church condemning but God is always forgiving always forgive me if there is true repentance you [Music]

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Keywords: calvary chapel, christian living, raul ries, calvary chapel golden springs, marriage, divorce

Id: pSTKOw8TTao

Length: 36min 12sec (2172 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 17 2019