Marriage with Raul and Sharon Ries // Straight Talk with Raul Ries (Episode 8)

today marriage is being cheap and people just get divorced you're like no big deal for money for power whatever it is and sure and I learned I learned that I should never divorce my wife no matter what she had the legal right to divorce me but she didn't I learned for that that she really loved me which I didn't love her and I had to learn how to love her and to stay with her because of the love and care that she had from [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] we are back with another installment of straight talk with Rahl Reese and I'm in studio with pastor on also Sharron Reese his wife as well and we want to talk about an amazing book that's coming out it's called marriage vows inseparable a new book by Pastor Rahl and it has so many encouraging lessons with marriage talking about real issues and Rahl you have taught the Bible for over 40 some years I mean over the years marriage is always one of those topics that so many people want to learn about especially in the church why do you think that is why do people have so many questions about marriage they have marriage problems and you know I think that when you look at marriage there's a lot of these guys that are getting married they don't think the responsibility of being a husband and some other wives don't think the response to being a wife and of course the marriage suffers when the men suffers then they come to break up and then divorce yeah you know the enemy always wants to destroy the home and we are seeing so many things if you look at our history we are seeing divorce rates skyrocket all the way back from the 50 to the current time you see this complete incline a huge shoot and you know the enemy has done so much damage and I know a book like this is gonna bless so many people with the title valid inseparable Sharon I think this is a very important thing because a vow is a promise it is a covenant and that sub-point that that in that title is very important why do you think so well why is that so important that vowed inseparable and how do your vows mean to you well because we when we make a vow a marriage vow we're making it to the Lord we're making it to each other but we're making a vow to keep the ordinances that God has put in his word for marriage and so we just thought that that would grow Ralph on it that would be a great title but it's not just marriage but it's you are vowed until death do us part you are vowed to keep the ordinances of the Lord and if people do that their marriages will stay together because the Lord gives all the instruction for marriage in the Word of God you know and that's one thing that you're seeing in statistics would divorce a lot of people they give up on their vow yeah they give up on that covenant sometimes they do it without thought of the damages gonna take place by you know breaking that Valley and we see so many people then they try to marry someone else and someone else and to continue breaking this vow when you reflect back on your guys's marriage you've been married how long Sharon 52 52 years of marriage by the grace of God by the Great Mother God you know and many of the listeners have know both of your stories over the years the book fury door freedom your book sharing as well my husband my maker as a depicts the story of what God has done in your guys's marriage in your relationship with the Lord when you reflect back on your wedding day and you know having the vows what do you remember about it as it was it special tell me a little bit about that day in those vows it was special it was foundational I was marrying an unbeliever I was pregnant and I had sinned before God and gotten pregnant but I felt that at that point I had already been unequally yoked with him and I would be yoked with him the rest of my life because I was going to have a child and so I thought I need to marry him because I knew that if he was close to me I could lead him to the Lord otherwise I would never see him so that's how I believed and I we went forward and when we got ready to say the marriage vows to me growing up as a missionary kid instructed in the word of the Lord saying a vow or saying a lie was horrendous in my home and saying a vow before God was very serious and so when my dad gave me away and then my dad went up to the pulpit to marry us and when the they started saying the vows there was a nut my pastor was also saying the vows to us and he he started reciting from Ruth wherever you go I will go your and I looked at raw and raw was holding my hand and he's caressing my hand and I won't say what he said but during the vows he said oh you your nails look so blankety-blank and you're so beautiful and here's my pastor doing these serious vows and all of a sudden I just I looked at him and I thought I'm not doing any vows to the Lord as my pastor was saying wherever you go I will go I I was looking up to God and I just said wherever you go I will go wherever you Lodge I will Lodge your people will be my people and you God won't be my god rah had not a clue what was going on he's just trying to hurry up and get it over with were you doing I was just look at those rings so we're gonna go on vacation for sure that's where we went that's what you yeah no more still well he's got kicked out of the Marine Corps and I only gave him two days off see ya to go back I had to go back cuz I wasn't rolling I want to go to the happiest place on earth but later you want to tell him how when Kobe is yeah later on you know we had this mission or God that we met in Chile her perineum in Chile Camille's but he said he came over to our house and sure and I were our house and I said to you do you marriages and he said yes I said well can you marry Sharon I said well Jumeirah said but we want you to marry us I wanted to make sure that's a Christian in my marriage vows were for the Lord you know the her and I were serious and I was gonna be a husband she's gonna be my wife know that that's amazing you know and I think Sharon when you were talking about how in that moment when you guys are getting married you know you're pregnant you're gonna have your first son around jr. but you knew that you were doing your valve to your husband's all but most importantly to the lawyer yeah I was absolutely sure that promise that covenant was so important because you were gonna be tested on those next few years right and you know without going into all the details many people know the story but share with the listening audience right now because in that believe like four years or whatever for years Jews and all the stuff that you guys went through what kept you of staying in that marriage when obviously there were many circumstances that would want you to flee well for me there was several things so first of all back to the vows when I said those vows to the Lord I felt totally enveloped with warmth and light and I had felt very guilty and bad before that being pregnant and getting married and so it I felt like the Lord said I will never leave you I will never forsake you I just and I was just glowing as I went down so that was number one I knew he would never leave me the other thing is I grew up in a home where people got saved all the time that was like a normal occurrence like it is here at the church and everywhere we going so I thought well is gonna get saved things are gonna work out and my grandmother who had warned me not to marry an unbeliever after we got married she said you know what honey I've been praying and God has his hand on that young man and so that just always stayed because when my grandma said something that woman and so I would think okay and I just kept waiting and waiting and I was afraid to leave or to well number one I would never wanted to break the vow I would just think about maybe he needs to go away til he gets saved because he was abusive but I was just thinking what if we would split up and I would miss out and what God has for me that was so fundamental I know that God has a plan for him he brought him into my life grandma said that a lot of people are praying but it just seemed like it went on forever it took four years but it seemed like an eternity for him yeah you know the scripture that many people know is at first Peter chapter 3 where it talks about that where it talks about that woman being surrendered over to the Lord and by your contact it's gonna win you're white you're a husband over to the Lord as well and I think that's so important because I believe that's what took place in rawls life when you were going through and you you've talked about this before whether it was Sharon's family you saw that there were believers and Christians you battle with that but it eventually broke you how was during that time well going through what I saw you know conviction gave my life like watching our mom dad her grandparents and all the Lord began to deal with me because I went to church with her and I would go to church with her but I never made that commitment and when when I finally you know felt that she was gonna leave me with my kids something you know I mean somebody hit me real happy and I said you know my wife my kids you know I want him in my life and so I say you know what they're not gonna leave me and it was it was all God's plan the way he plans it in that very evening she was in church and that was at home and God just happened to work when I saw her backs back and I thought wow man she's gonna leave me I said there's no possible way so one night when I hit the TV Pastor Chuck came on and I began to listen real carefully what he said it's like he was speaking to me personally and those words that he spoke were going into my heart because when those words into my heart he's like I was broken and I put down my gun and I just began to look at him M&T here and then I prayed a simple prayer in that prayer I got up I didn't feel any ID is he lightning or feeling emotion I just knew something happened so I got on my car I went to the church which idea what she fellowship and I went to church she says she saw me and she got the kiss and she split from the church and as I was in there there was a couple of guys that we knew they called me over and now they and I told what happened and they lay hands on me and I received about the Holy Spirit done pop it as a dumb pop is the first one tonight rel facility yes I mean I may seem person he lay hands on me and i received the baptism and so when I got home and told Sharon what happened because she's one of the church I don't think she building before you're like it's a show by the door that she saw and then over I mean immediately the next morning you know I went to got a Bible I start reading the Bible she had to watch that and we went to Calvary Chapel you know I mean that's what I really got touched by the Lord because I began to grow I begin to grow spiritually and if if we would have got to Calvary Chapel you know in God since a phony Church I probably never grown and probably I wouldn't even be here you know one thing that you kind of mentioned right now it's one of the I've seen of Sharon an interview you say this a couple times is when that transition happened you come to the Lord dramatic conversion but it took time last you were looking at him like he's just trying to impress me you know his praying his reading but it began to be a genuine thing talk with the listener about that because it's something you prayed for now it's like happening before you but you're like this is real really happening well he he was a faker a lot so he would go up and pray at the altar oh no here we go again you know I was just watching him but no I didn't believe him plus I didn't even want to believe it I was so hurt because he had been so wicked of me he was a physical abuser not the kind of grabs you and beats on you but he'd throw me into a glass cabinet or something and it's it's a miracle and if he never happened but he verbally abused so bad and I felt so I just wanted to get away from me and I had my comfy cereal yeah I want to get away from him and just finished my college you know learn about God and move on and let let God take care of him I never ever wanted to divorce him never leave him because that again that vow when you see if that will be forgotten and you know what the Bible says about marriage and and and how he created out of - he made one he makes you one in him I couldn't get away from that it was just so engraved in me and thank God that I felt that way well God's obviously done a miracle and for those that are listening or watching this episode the reason why we have sharing and rolling Studios because we want to highlight a new book that's coming out marriage vowed inseparable it is an amazing book and we're going to go over some of the details you're actually able to pre-order then it's here on Valentine's Day a February 14th and then it's going to be coming out in the spring you don't want to miss out on getting this book it Oh bless you and so many people so we want to encourage you to pick it up so we've kind of gone over like a little bit in the beginning of like your life all the way starting the beginning of your vows you know and starting off as raw wasn't walking with the Lord Sharon you were pregnant with your first son drawled jr. and as we have highlighted what took place was four years of marriage there was there was some abuse or verbal abuse physical abuse you also had another son Shane at that time yes and now Rahl has a traumatic conversion his life has changed and transformed and it's real it's genuine yeah and he has his desire of knowing God's Word and now his life starts to change a transform you said something a minute ago where you basically said that man if I walk out of this vow or if I ever thought about that I would miss out on the blessings and God has blessed you guys his life yeah told I have seen we we barely could make it financially in those things there was nothing to look forward to and raw was an abuser but I just growing up in the Lord I just knew that God can do miracles and that God could change this man never in my wildest dream that I ever imagined what God was going to do for me the big thing would be if Rahl could just go sit in church with me that would just have been the most blessed thing I could receive a husband that would sit in church with me because I would sit alone with my two boys and but I always had that what if I walk away and I never find out what God he had for all and for me yeah and now that was just so strong in my life and for the the listeners now they've have three sons you know Ryan would be born I believe in seventy five so they have the three sons and now they're they're all Ryan and Shane and marrying all of them have children while jr. has a child as well God is really blood how many grandchildren I have nine how many boys that were three boys three boys and six girls and every for me I know the name arrogant girl so I had to learn by the girls you know they always won a shop number one and they always want to be with me - sure sure loves them and just us so much for them and that's one thing I would say in our marriage that Sharon has been a real grandmother a real mother you know no matter what has happened and even with my boys you know whatever they're there I you know they say think server they shouldn't say my wife loves everybody and I want to say that it doesn't matter who it is my wife is a loving person she always forgets people I never understood that because I didn't want to you know I don't like to forgive people unless you know they really mean what they say and then I can forgive them then my wife I get matter because she's always forgiving everybody and you know it's crazy stuff and she's always a server here at Calvary Chapel or wherever she goes she serves people you know one thing that so many people have known is that this ministry has blessed so many people whether it's that somebody loves you radio ministry that has gone nationwide and now with the technology worldwide through YouTube you have been a pastor here at Calvary Chapel Golan Springs for many years which was originally Calvary Chapel West Covina hundreds and thousands of people have come to the Lord and behind the scenes the Lord has restored your marriage blessed your children as they're walking with the Lord their families and it's an amazing amazing thing but as we are talking about earlier in this show there was some tough days yes the Word of God is so important in both of you guys's life and with so many problems and issues people are facing today they need to realize the answer is always found in God's ways and so when we come and look at marriage which is a very popular topic I mean if you go to like regular bookstores those are gonna be a high best sellers in marriages because everybody's like I want to fix marriage it's like how to fix your marriage and ten steps or one of those kind of crazy kind of books but if you really want to know you have to go back to the beginning and as I'm kind of going over the chapters of the book we kind of talked about the marriage vow but also I love out starts towards the beginning the origin of marriage married yeah where did it come from and we know the garden of you know let's talk about that for a moment God's plan for marriage role once you you know speak on that a little bit and I'm gonna ask you starts in Genesis you know chapter two I mean God not only created everything that's created and then he takes and he creates a male and then a female as God sees that the male needs a female and then when he does that then from that point on when Adam and Eve fell you know and sin came into the world and God has not such a such a dramatic thing with marriages that even to the present time when you look at married people you know they don't really want to believe that you have to go back to the beginning in the beginning you learn what marriage is all about today marriage is being cheap and people just get divorced like no big deal for money for power whatever it is and sure and I learned I learned that I should never do was my wife no matter what she had the legal right to divorce me but she didn't I learned for that that she really loved me which I didn't love her and I had to learn how to love her and to stay with her because so the love and care that she had for me and my father you mentioned right there of commitment and when you look in the New Testament when Jesus speaks on marriage you know in Matthew 19 where he's being questioned there were question can a man divorces right why for just any reason and he takes them back to Genesis yes yeah Paul when he's speaking about marriage he takes you back to Genesis because that's the beginning and one of the things it says and this goes back to you the valid inseperable where he says the two shall come together become one flesh unity yes what sticks out to you when you look at that portion of the Bible in the first marriage that we find in the Bible in Genesis yeah I've looked at that what I looked at that for years very intensely well whatever God says that is in cement you don't change that and he said that he created the man is the head of the home and he created a woman as his helper and he told them both he told them both that they were to oversee the world he was to be the head of the home they never seen and she was to help him with that so they were a unit they were together they were one serving the Lord when she got tempted by Satan she was by this beautiful tree looking at the the fruit that God had created and said not to take and she listened to the serpent and her husband was right there sometimes I've heard people say well where was Adam well yeah I didn't want to say that who was with her and with her I got yeah with her right yeah and he didn't he didn't take and I want to blame it on him because it's her sin but he didn't take the authority to sugar that's been the age long question why didn't he say that's the problem no don't take that right he was there with her and so she fell and he was there we don't know why he didn't take that authority and then on the other hand in the curse we have that the man shall rule over you it's a lot of times Christian men think that oh God said he will ruler you know that's the curse he cursed that man they keep it a rule but he's not to rule over her he's to love her and care for and then her curse was that her desire her longing would be for him so you have this man and woman constantly fighting that curse he's you gonna do what I say and then the wife trying to lord over him you know trying to be over him your desire will be towards him and so they're completely out of what God created so you go back to Genesis chapter 1 and 2 and you see what God created this union of both of them together he took Eve out of him none of the closest part of his heart so in him was all that um that loving tenderness or whatever that that a woman has and God pulled her out so together they would become one and they would become inseparable and it's so beautiful because you can go through your entire life and have a marriage because you're following the Word of God that is inseparable because the minute you start pulling in a different direction everything's gonna go out I found out that if Ron and I are angry at each other the best thing we could do is be together he wants to go in his office and I want to go not anymore but we used to mean go and I'd say we need to go out and be together within two minutes of getting in the car and being together first we're talking to each other and within two minutes it's over because it's just it's a mystery Paul said this is a mystery this marriage thing the more you're together you spend time together you forgive each other it just goes away because that's God created it it's it's a miracle it's a mystery we can't figure it out you know and as we said earlier you know with with our walks in general with the Lord there's spiritual warfare open the enemy wants to discourage - whether it's through temptation all the divorces all there's tons of lots of tons of them and as we're talking about where marriage began and then we see that sin came into the human race and now there's going to be this battle struggle this power struggle and that relationship victory is found in the cross it's found in Christ Paul speaks about in the book of Ephesians you want to get the marriage back together let's go back to the beginning you know submission and love and unity in marriage you'll be able to have joy submitting one to another in the fear of your life to me that is just a huge Scripture and then it goes on to say what a husband is to love your wife and a wife submit to your own husband reverence him yep that's hard reverencing know it's important because you need to have unity you know and the enemy always wants us to divine Christ once to unite guys are watching you yeah there's your children are watching you grandchildren are watching you and it means something it really means something in this day when a couple is able to stay together for you guys fifty-two years it's not easy you guys can tell many lessons to those around now I want you to do that here for a moment I want you to speak first you Sharon to maybe a single person out there they are desiring marriage what advice would you give them in this phase of their life the first thing that came to mind is there's a lot of single people that love the Lord don't talk to them right now and they find their a partner and somebody to marry in the church and he's Christian they're both involved in minister and then one of them falls away install I'll talk to the women it's really sad when you're praying and you're seeking the Lord and then the person that you find to be married to walks away so my advice and it's a biblical advice is follow the Lord you walk with God the Lord gave me a scripture where it says you're my husband doesn't name in my book your husband is your maker the Lord of Hosts is his name and it's speaking to the woman who's tossed and afflicted with terrible things and he says but your husband is your maker to look to the Lord always whether you're married or not as your husband is your maker the Lord of Hosts is his name following him fear him and turn that mate over to the Lord but too often nowadays even especially even in the church there well he's not doing what he did before we got married so I'm divorcing him and then they get into one mess and another mess then they're sorry they were sort of stayed with the first one divorce is never the answer it's never the answer and so I just encourage everyone walk with God that was the plan I got if frol and I separated I was going to just follow the Lord to see where he would lead me cuz he's my master he's my heavenly husband and through doing that your husband and your children will come back and follow that same path when they see that you're strong in the Lord and you're gonna follow him role you know you've taught so many for so many years and you have dealt with so many marriages over the years and even from your own experience share with the audience right now somebody that is walking with the Lord but their spouse is an unbeliever what what does that's a person it's the same kind of situation that you guys were then what kind of advice would you give them I would give my advice I know for sure when Shirin was praying for me then as a husband and you have your wife that is non-believer you know he has a right to lead her but he should come to that place of praying for her and we don't got to speak to him so that God can speak to her but then on the other side they are those husband or wife and then they'll never come to the Lord so they have that right to the wife or to leave the husband but also I have a friend that waited seven years when his wife left it for somebody else he waited and then God bless them with another wife and I think today I mean it's like you're jumping from one marriage to another marriage and the children are suffering you know we talk to a lot of kids here and and the parents they don't see that they don't see the marriages you know forever not for one year two years but it's forever and ever and ever and I think that if the Christians did they start obeying the Word of God then the church would be different and marriages would be different the Lord puts such a high priority on marriage when you look at the New Testament you see that Christ being an example of the bridegroom and the church as the Brian so the Lord putting such a high price and priority on on marriage we should as well so we need to invest in our marriage yes it has to be a priority you know so many times people are busy trying this is what happens and I think you mentioned this earlier Sharon when you ever find yourselves where you're starting to drift apart and this part started going this way or this way dangers on the horizon exactly dangers on the horizon so how about for the have someone's in a marriage right now and they just feel themselves drifting or yeah what kind of instruction would you give to them during this time well the first instruction I would give them to draw real close to the Lord and to be in the word and be instructed through the word the Lord instructed me through so many verses throughout the Bible about my marriage and and just not to nag that person but just to be loving to be kind to be joyful so that they would want to come to know the Lord and would run to come and spend time with you and with the Lord and just to keep praying and waiting on the Lord because really the Lord is the only one that can convict them I know we were all praying for Rahl to get saved but it was ultimately the Holy Spirit that convicted wrong that had him turned the TV at the right time when Pastor Chuck was teaching it was the Lord that brought him but the main thing is that you just continue your walk with the Lord regardless I see I've seen throughout the years so many women that when the husband walked away will he's not coming to church and we want to be together so we're not going to church anymore and then the kids I can name their names ended up in drugs and all kinds of things because they everybody just fell apart and the way divorce affects children it's terrible charlie it is terrible they then they don't they don't know what to do they don't have that unity and see the main thing back to the basics Genesis God created marriage God will keep it together and God will keep your children together if you're walking with God regardless of whether the other one is or not just I remember getting up on Sunday morning and raw wood that was the only day he would take off and so he'd say well you're gonna go to church and you're not gonna take a day off I guess we're not gonna have any time together and and I would just think I want to be with him and I want to go to the beach or the park or whatever but I would just make that decision I'm going to church with my kids then we can do something and then I'd get smacked around or he would just say oh well you missed out on having a fun day and I have friends that I've said just keep in church don't be a crazy fanatical don't be reading the Bible in front of him and praying in front of just just go to church every Sunday love him take care of the home take care of the children and and he'll come around that that's good advice that is good advice because sometimes people go on the other aspect of Walt and how he started listen to me and I'm gonna do everything he says and not put the Lord as a priority and you're thinking in the short term yes short term it's not long term healing that time the family falls apart because God is not leading it and and God is the originator of marriage he leads it when we this book coming out we hope it will bless so many people marriage vowed inseparable I want to overview some of the chapters you really quick just so our listeners to see how many things that are taken into context I never want that the marriage vow we started talking about that in the beginning we kind of touched on the origin of marriage but also Submission love intimacy God's blueprint for marriage yes words that kill and words that give life you can very easily beat somebody down verbally but at the same time you can edify you can build people up your your husband or your with your words as well trusting God as you wait unequally yoked probably a very popular a chapter sins that ruin the marriage or probably break down some of those things temptations you know some danger signs ahead things that you can learn from and then also divorce and as we're looking at our world today with so many divorces you mentioned it a second ago about the children how they're impacted I love watching like documentaries and so when you want to documentary on a particular individual whether it's a sports person or an actor and actress it's like it seems like every time they were had this great family and all of a sudden boom they got divorced when the kid was ten or twelve years old and now they start going into drugs and now they start going into this lifestyle because that foundation has been compromised and their image of what they thought was a happy home has been destroyed and the devil's not about that yeah for sure destroy that home yeah and the children didn't need what God put into the man and what God put into the woman and today with all this transgender and right people a man doesn't know if he's a man a woman doesn't know she's a woman these children are not oh they're totally confused and they're not getting what God God's blueprint for marriage which is that the man has a little home that he he's to be the leader in the home needs to be the instructor in the home and then the woman the tenderness the love the gentleness and the teaching and the examples Word of God and man are trying to be women and women are trying to be men and it's all confused and then you hear about the kids and they're all their drugs they're committing suicide they're going to schools and murdering people I mean the family is just being by Satan you know and one of the last chapters is partners for life and that goes back really to the vow as well because we're in this for the long haul force yes 52 years of marriage you guys have been able to complete and many hopefully many more anniversaries to come God has blessed your guys's ministries that you're part of your marriages your children such an amazing thing Rahl what are you hoping that the listeners those that are watching will get from a book like this on marriage how it will bless their marriage well I hope that it really touches our heart number one and I hope that their marriage will become a godly marriage you know with the Lord because a lot times when you read a book you go well it's just a book but we feel sure and I feel that this book is special you know report our lives into this book we want people to know we're not hiding anything this is a real life and I think that if people read this book the Holy Spirit is the one that's going to speak to their hearts and I think it can help their marriages and even to the point that can help their children to be counseled by this book Jen what would you like the listeners and those that are watching to take from this book I just think III was able to edit these studies were taken from rahl studies and I was able to work with Claire um the writer and I just think it's really real it's down-to-earth there's nothing flowery about this book I remember when I was going through abuse and I would hear speaker speaker I'd read things like Oh meet your husband at the door in a Victoria's Secret nightgown flowery things right stupid yeah and this is just it's just real it's down-to-earth I was abused so I was able to make sure that that's all in there Claire in Jurong suffered abuse in her marriage the writer and so we were able to just really reserve I put the glue together with in Rawls tough I mean he's just in your face he's just down-to-earth and it's just basically do what God says and it's it's gonna have a good a good ending in the end and it's real it's not fake or phony it's it's not meant to make Rahl and I look great okay I mean I even took out some things that Ross well I know so many people are excited for this book so again you can pre-order the book it is marriage vow'd inseparable you want to pick up your copy February 14th if there's pre-order available and before you know it you'll be able to how this book we are so encouraged of what all that God is doing with somebody loves you so if you're watching this video we encourage you to share it with your friends and family if you've just come across it hit subscribe follow all of the recent studies of Pastor Rahl also as we throw back some of his rewind series and as we continue doing these straight talks so Sharon thanks for being here thank you we're all thanks for Banyan Thank You Sean and we will be back next month for straight talk with Rory's take care [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Somebody Loves You Worldwide

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Length: 36min 35sec (2195 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 19 2020