(dramatic music) - Welcome to Acquisitions Inc, Series two. - [Players] Yes! - Here we are - Here we're, so, before I kick things off
with a recap- I wanted to give each of you a chance to introduce your characters, starting with you, Jerry Holkins. - Oh. I was hoping that there would be like, maybe you could start over there and then
it could get, and then I'd be like- - You're the boss, you have to start. - Okay. Well, no, 'cause it does involve a dark revelation. - But what is a Acq. Inc? - Exactly. - Where does that come from? - I was gonna say franchises are available,
obviously. No, I am the Half-Elf Cleric, Omin Dran, CEO of Acquisitions Incorporated, but the
cleric of what? It's not 100% known by people who I should
tell. (Jasmine clears throat) And they should know 'cause I feel like it's
something you'd want to know before you went on an adventure with someone. But Omin Dran is definitely, you know, it's that midlife sort of thing, like career change, you know what I mean? - He's the cleric of a convertible? (all laugh) - [Jerry] He's a cleric of a Mazda Miata. (all laugh) - Hey. - Is that- - That's too much. - Okay, I'm sorry. (laughs) - I was being cool and then he went too fucking
far. - That's a shark. - That's a shark, now. - So, what I would say is that he is a cleric
of, basically the devil. Asmodeus, is sort of- - Rock me Asmodeus. (all laugh) - No but it's the sort of thing, it's like my other car is the devil. - Yeah. - That's sort of the situation. And even Omin doesn't 100% know what that
means yet. - I was gonna say, can you be a cleric of... - Yeah, it turns out, yeah. - Do we still think that you are a cleric
of Tymora? - I think-
- That's good question. - I haven't done anything to disabuse you
of that notion (all laugh) and I have very cleverly been able to hide
it thus far. We shall see to what extent that endures, but that's the situation. - I'm hearing Tymora. - Yeah, okay. I'm getting to be more- - I'm just laughing because they told you to keep this under a
minute and I don't think you knew. - I had the same thought. - Right? - Yeah, that is so funny. I was like- - I was like, is he gonna fucking shut up? - A couple sentences. - 60 Seconds. - Yeah. - Show him how it's done, Jasmine. - If you would. - Got it. - Timer is running. - I'm Certainty Dran. I play Omin Dran's daughter, heiress to Acq.
Inc. Half-Elf, half-avatar of Tymora. Still a bard, but now a wizard of the School
of Divination. And just, you know, high-functioning femme
energy. Nepo baby. - Yeah, that was really fast, actually. - Super concise, yeah. - That's how you do it. - That's how you boil it down. - And just like our characters, I'm just a little bit better than you at everything. (all laugh) - No, it's good. I'm getting on in years. - That's what parents want, right? - Exactly, this is the
win condition for me. - Not really though. I sabotage my children all the time. (Jasmine laughs) - [Jerry] Is this where you take them out
of the stands and trip 'em? - Oh, absolutely. If they start to fly too high... - [Jerry] Icarus. - Not on my watch. I'm gonna do something of those wings. So, I mean, you're also playing Dungeons and
Dragons. - Yeah, but you're not the DM. - Yeah, I was gonna save Jim till last. (Jerry sighs) - Did you do one thing right today? - I can't think of what it might say. - Just kidding. I, I'm just mad 'cause you know, normally we're at the same side of the table, but now I feel like it's like the tag team
matchup of the century. We gotta like whoop their fucking asses. - The poster looks right. - [Jasmine] I'll be nicer when we start, I
promise. - Are we gonna win? - Yes. - We're gonna win D&D - Anna Prosser, would you be so kind as to tell me about your
character, please? - I would love to. I play Evelyn Marthain, who is also an heiress
of sorts, but more of a country. She's an heiress to a horse ranch. And, you know, she was the nobility of the town, that's a really small town called Amphail. She has an Amphailian accent and she is a Paladin of Lathander. So even though she has this noble family, she doesn't really know them. She hasn't been there since she was like six
years old. She grew up in Waterdeep, becoming a paladin
of Lathander, who she's super stoked about. Would never change who she worships at all. (Jerry laughs) Although she has changed her oath. She's now an oath of redemption Paladin as she's been through all these adventures, she's learned that redemption is the most
important thing. And she likes horses. She really loves love and is fatally optimistic. - Nice. And that was also a very concise, very clear. She carries a lot of weapons. I have every faith that Mike will do a bad
job. I'll try, I'll try for you. - [Jasmine] I'm carrying the team on this
side, don't worry. - I have a, I have a little bit more, I guess to explain. 'Cause I'm Jim Darkmajiq. You got some beef. - [Anna] Oh, you've got more? Yeah, but I'm not their Jim Darkmajiq. - You're not our grandfather's- - I'm not your dad's Jim Darkmajiq. (Jasmine laughs) - No, I'm Jim Darkmajiq from Greyhawk. I'm a new one. I don't know Omin. I have a successful show in Greyhawk. I'm doing quite well. I'm an entertainer, not an adventurer, but I've been promised certain things and so I'm along for the ride. Oh, a wizard, and I'm a human. - "And I'm Jim Darkmajiq!" (indistinct) - All right. (mystical music) A wish spell brought the characters to the
city of Greyhawk. There they explored an artificer's workshop. In the dungeon under the workshop, they discovered the remnants of an experiment
gone awry. Part of an effort to study an obelisk fragment
retrieved from a dwarven mine in the nearby Cairn Hills, armed with the belief that the obelisk might
help them A, undo the effects of the wish spell, And B, send them home. They made plans to set out for the Cairn Hills. Before leaving, Omin made the acquaintance
of Jim Darkmajiq. - That's right, yeah. - Of Greyhawk, using guile and lies- - Well, some lies. - (laughs) Omin convinced Jim to tag along as the group set out for the quarry, marking the entrance to the dwarven mine. A prismatic sphere emerged from the mine, engulfing and trapping their friend Bobby. (all laugh) - Wow. - Bobby! - But it's like a prismatic hamster wheel. (all laugh) He can basically run around inside it- - But you can't hear him? - But you can't hear him. And he can't talk to you. - So cute, oh my god. - Got it. - that's very clever. - Thank you, thank you. - That's pretty savvy. - So the group has descended into the mine and what you see here is a portion of the
mine level. And what I'd like you to do is to put your
figures around Bobby's prismatic sphere. - [Jerry] Oh, that's his little hamster ball. - [Chris] Yes! All right. Now look at this. - [Jasmine] Boom! (players talk over each other) - IRL there are tensions between Evelyn and... - What are you talking about? - And Certainty. - I don't know about any tensions. - No, of course not. But I'm just saying that like, it's IRL, practical. - This is Freudian. - If you will. - So you don't know what it is. It might just be descending into the depths
of the earth. But there is kind of a weird ringing in your
ears that (ringing sound effect plays) happens as you enter this complex. It kind of fades and tamps down a little, but you can still kind of detect it. But all of that is forgotten when you enter
this large cave full of beautiful crystal formations. Many of them of a scintillating lavender hue. - [Gasp] Really! - And you can see that there's been extensive
work done down here. Like this area has been actually carved out- - [Chris] Added a breakfast nook? - Oh, I was just gonna say, I'm seeing sort of a bed and breakfast situation. Something about like a subterranean Airbnb. - There's evidence of picks and hammers and things just kind of littering the floor. There's a torch in one wall that must be some
sort of ever-burning torch. It doesn't need to be giving off smoke or
anything. Just steadily, steadily flickering away. - Now do I see these tools, are they just
like spread out? Like people decided it was time to go right
away type situation? - Yeah, it almost feels like an evacuation
center. - They're not in the box. - No. - They're not on one of the, you know, one of the established hanger situations. - Correct. Correct. Yes. There's evidence that they left hastily. - Is this like goo? Like green goo? - [Chris] Oh, these little splashes of things. - Is that just like mossy water? - It's a little hard to tell. It's brackish, yes. It does have a greenish, almost phosphorescence
to it. - [All] Ooh. - Nice word, huh? - Very clean. - But you're not sure exactly what it is in terms of its substance. You'd have to explore that more closely. - You'd have to drink a mug full. - Yes. So the biggest feature you see is this tall spire-like structure, which actually appears to have steps carved
into it. And there is a formation on top that's particularly interesting. It looks like it was made naturally by drippings
from the ceiling, but there's some sort of magical
effect up there. It's hard to see from your vantage point. - [Chris] Somewhere up here? - Yeah, somewhere up here. But there's little moats of light coming off
of something and just kind of trailing up into the air. - [Jerry] Do we think that weird sound is
coming from there? - The pitch that you hear in the back of your
mind, it seems ambient. It doesn't seem to be a local sound. - So we're not really hearing this with our
ears. - [Chris] Right. - This is some, if this is just something that's happening
here. - Yes, exactly. And it feels wrong even in the bowels of the
earth. But the other sound you hear is coming from
behind this formation, which is why you can't see what's
causing it. And it's a sound like this. (growls and snorts) - I'm going to invent the CPAP. (Anna laughs) - And that's gonna be Greyhawk Omin's play. That's gonna be a side hustle. - [Chris] It's gonna be huge here. - I am not concerned with the snoring at all. I like shiny things. (Jerry chuckles) And so, because, like I mentioned, Evelyn has flying boots. To help with her accessibility. 'Cause she has a prosthetic leg. So she's flies up here to look at what the
pretty thing is. - [Mike] Attracted to lights. - Yeah, exactly. She's gonna gently bat at the lights. - "Ooh!" - There are pools of magical liquid (water pours) that have coalesced around the base of this stalagmite. - What kind of magic? Can I divine what kind of magic it is? - How would you like to do it? - I guess arcana would be the only logical
way. - Go ahead and make an intelligence arcana
check. (dice rattle) - All right. I get a plus zero to arcana, but I rolled
a 17! - [Chris] That's very good. - [Jerry] That's still very good. - Yes. - So you think that these might be naturally created potions. - Ooh. - Well they just, what? They just bubble up and... - Uh-huh. - That is wild. - Yes. Like somehow the mineral formations of this
tower of rock. As water sort of falls down upon it from the
ceiling and runs down through the rivulets and everything, what comes out at the bottom is magical. - [Anna] And I can't tell from looking at
them what type- - You believe, the only thing you can tell is that you think it's transmutation magic. - And it's just one kind? It's not like multiple different kinds? - Correct. They sort the same liquid is sort of gathered
in multiple little naturally formed basins here. And there's just little moats of magical light coming off of them. It's quite beautiful. - I feel like I get a sense that these are
good potions. - You don't get a sense of evil. And the snoring is much louder where you are because the creature that's making it is on the other side of the pillar. - For sure, is it time to, you wanna take
a peek? - Yeah, I'll take a peek over there. - Just over this formation. - Okay. So your little head, boop! pokes up over the edge. When you look down, you see a... It's hard to tell because the figure is reclined
with their back and head up against the rock. But a giant. - Oh wow, okay. - With stony skin, gray slate color. - Yikes. - Eyes closed. This massive great club just sort of leaning
up next to him, or her or them or it, you're
not sure. - Mostly rock? - Yes. Blended in so well that if it wasn't actually
snoring, you might not even notice it. You might think it was a rock formation. - Geez. - All right. So I'll turn around and say, "Well, first
off, there's an amazing potion up here. If anyone wants to be something different
than they are, I think they could drink this. And- - [Chris] How loud do you say that? - In Evelyn's normal, like cheery- (all laugh) - [Jerry] In the cave, ringing around. - Yeah. All right. (snorts and growls) - "Oh, also there's a giant." - Yes. You see the giant has stirred and is awakened by the sound of your voice. - "Hello friend!" - (laughs) So you go back over there? - Yeah. I'm more like, peek up over here. "Hi!" - So this is what you meant about the optimistic. - [Anna] Yeah. - Right, okay. - Absolutely. This is our friend now. - The giant is a little bit slow to understand what's going on. Kinda looks at you with squinty eyes, pushes a hand up to the side of his head, like he's fighting off a headache. - I wonder if he has some kind of hangover from transmutation potions. - And once his eyes sort of adjust you and he realizes he's never seen your like
before he kind of stumbles to his feet and he is so kind of awkward about it that
he kind of trips over some rock formations. But the rest of you are just standing back and you can see behind this pillar of rock something big coming to its feet. - Does he look like he's never walked before? - No. It just looks like he's been maybe asleep
for a long time. And like me, when he gets up outta bed, you
know, if he's old- - [Jerry] He's not A plus. - Not A plus. - Does he make the uncle sounds, like, (groans
dramatically) - Yes, exactly. He probably also makes some other sounds that are far less pleasant. - You can hear rustles. - I would like to just- - There's a loud fart. (all giggle) - Walk up to one of these crystals and just
give it like a, (knocks on table) like is it real? - I'm so glad you did that. (all laugh) So when you move up to this lavender crystal, and you get close enough, you don't even have to make a perception check
to see- - [Chris] Oh, that's not a good sign. - That there is something moving inside of
it. - [All] Oh. - [Chris] Across its facets. You can see that there seems to be a figure trapped inside the crystal. And it looks like a dwarf. - Dwarf. - In terms of sort of stature. It's got a hood up, but you can kind of see sort of slate colored
skin. - Does he appear to be trapped? Like is he trying to get out? - [Chris] Yes. - Oh. - Here, can you move me up alongside Jim? And I say, "See, this is incredible stuff. This is the type of organization you're working
with-" - When you touch it- - Yeah. I just wanna knock on it. - You get like a momentary voice. Like a, almost like a exchange between you. And when you're in contact, you can hear that it's talking to you and it's basically saying, (distorted) "Over
here!" - "Is this, what's the motivation here? is he one of us? Is this part of the scene?" And I'm doing this as kind of an aside to
Omin. - I say "Listen, I just, obviously you can
tell, but we spared no expense here. Like, we're trying to deliver something truly
world class. And my feeling is that if I told you exactly what was going on-" - "No, I get it." - "You would, the performance wouldn't be coming from a
natural place." - "Absolutely." What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna react to the
moment. - Yeah, exactly. Live now. - [Chris] If that's okay with you. - Live now. - "Someone seems to be trapped in these crystals!" (all laugh) - That's amazing. You're a visionary and I give you bardic inspiration. Like, you're taking us there. Whatever you're putting out, I'm picking up. - That's what I'm good at. - No, no, no. I wouldn't wanna be anywhere in the world
right now. - Certainty, I'd like you to make a perception
check. - Oh, yay. Am I good at this? Dun dun dun. Oh, okay. (dice rattle) - We want the big numbers. - Nat 20. - Whoa! - Oh my gosh. - First roll? - As my first roll. - This is auspicious. Killing it. - Total of 23. - Excellent. So while they're distracted by the crystal and by the waking giant, you see in this archway, peering out is an animated character. It looks like a walking badger with big anime
eyes (jerry laughs) and sort of a stylish little cowlick to his- (jerry laughs) - I love it. - It looks like it's a cartoon character. - You mean like drawn? - Yes. - Piqued my interest, Chris. - Like a Roger Rabbit. - I think that we're already under some really
significant effects as a result of this cavern. - And when you see it sort of like, sort of shrinks up a bit and then goes... - Oh my God, this is like my kryptonite. Certainty approaches. - [Chris] Okay. - First thing she asks is, "Who are you licensed
to? (all laugh) Who do I talk to? 'cause I'm thinking merch, park, theme park,
series. Radio play. I wanna wear things with your face on it." - And I hear this, I just wave my hand over there and I say "Certainty, get him on paper." (all laugh) - Do I Jim, as someone from Greyhawk, recognize
him? - So as Certainty makes her way over and starts
talking, the rest of you can see that it's there. You can see it too. It's not in your head. Clearly this cartoon badger, it's not talking back to her, but it's responding to her like visually,
like it, you don't even know if it can talk. But it kind of starts marching in place and then it does a 180 and marches back. Deeper into the cave. - So I just, this is like the human version of a worm on
a hook being dropped down into the water like this. This is 100% a trap. I say no, "I changed my mind. That is definitely a trap." - How can it be a trap? - Everything about it. Did you drug me? - Moving painting. That seems like a trap. - Now, the giant by now has gotten fully to
his feet and is grasping his great club. - [Chris] I mean, it's fine. - And is looking around for you, Evelyn. And when he looks at you, it's like he literally is seeing something he's never seen before. And he's just like- - [Jerry] Oh, I can only imagine. - He's just sort of stopped frozen. And he's like kind of psyched out. - I try to be polite. I go kind of like, not right next to, but hover in front of their face and do a little in-air curtsy. "Hi, nice to meet you!" - You see him reach out for you. (all laugh) - "No thank you, no, thank you." - [Jerry] "I've never eaten one of these." What's your armor class? - [Anna] 11. - [Jerry] Jeez. - [Chris] 11? - I know, I'm level three. You did this to me. (Chris laughs) - Okay. Yeah, he clumsily reaches out and grabs hold
of you. - He's definitely going to eat the top half
of you. - I mean, we can probably see that from where we are. - Yes, absolutely. - Wait, I wonder, I wanna make sure that I've included like
my shield and stuff, but at least it says 11 on my... - Yeah, you're looking for, we want armor
for sure. - I Should have my bracers on. Okay, so it should be, I think plus one. I just don't have that on my character sheet. So 12. Does that make a difference? - No, it doesn't. - Okay. I didn't think so. - He just said (distorted) "I devour." And just- - No, no, no, this is- (all laugh) This is very impolite! (all laugh) - Testing the bouquet? - Just like a dolly? - "In my culture this is very unacceptable! Please and thank you!" - Does that help at all? - I think Jim would react. He's still in the moment. He would react to that. But I don't want, he doesn't wanna hurt this thing. He just wants to cast like what looks like
a spell. So I want it to be like an illusory, like "No, foul beast, drop her now!" And I throw out just lights. But they hit him. - All right. He's sort of dazzled by the lights. - And then real quickly to Omin, "This is what you're looking for, is this?" - Yeah. I nod as though this is fine. (Anna laughs) - As he's bedazzled by this flash of lights and these lights sort of bounce off of his
stony hide. He sort of puzzles for a moment and lets Evelyn
go. - "Thank you!" - Now he's got something else to play with. He's having a good time. - Yeah, and so he comes lumbering out. The way he moves around is actually kind of
stealthy for a big guy. He's shifting his head around. He's taking you all in. He doesn't know what to make of you all. His grip has tight on his great club, but it just sort of drags behind him. - Go this way? - [Chris] Yeah, he'll go over that. - Oh, I didn't see you there. - [Jerry] Killing Evelyn in the process. Well, Evelyn did get thrown on the ground. - [Chris] Yes. - He's done with that. - But your immediate sense is that the giant
is not hostile. He's just been disturbed and awaken from- - [Jerry] Oh, he just woke up. - He needs a cup of coffee. - [Jerry] Yeah, exactly. - I am... Something's clearly trying to communicate
with me. So I'm going continue following him- - Through the archway? - Take the badger? - Nothing evil can make that badger. - This badger is pure. - It has to be. Someone's clearly conjured some type of minor or major image. - Now, once you step into the archway, you can see into the cave beyond, there is this flashing sort of kaleidoscopic
crystal (crystals hum) formation, different from the ones in this
room. And there is dazzling light coming out of
it. And that's where the badger is headed. And he sort of gestures to the lights, waves at you to come over. - My dad didn't warn me about vans and candy. Can I, I dunno if it's gonna work. Can I cast. - This is a naturally occurring version of
a van. - One of the few spells
I remember from school, Identify, as I like, come across these crystals. I take out my notebooks, try to see any telltale
signs. - Yeah. As you begin casting the spell, you see that the badger just, his eyes get really big and kind of watery. - Oh, sad. You're being mean, casting the Identify spell
I guess. - [Chris] Who would do that to a friend? - Yeah, exactly. You know what he is. He's your badger friend. - I didn't dispel it! I just wanna know. - Among, their kind, you know, who knows how this can be interpreted. Well we know actually. It's super sad. Because of what you did. It's wrong. - That just makes him cuter to me. - And how long does the identify spell take
to cast? Is it one minute? - It takes one minute. - Okay. In that minute, the giant sort of steps over
Evelyn. - [Jerry] (laughs) Oh my God. - [Anna] "Okay, nice to meet you!" - Evelyn. You can see that etched into his great club
is a name. - [Anna] Ooh. What's it say? - It says Otash Katan. - Oh, I read it out loud. "Otash Katan." - He stops and he turns to you. - [Anna] "Is that your name? Otash Katan?" (Grumbling) "Evelyn Marthain!" See now we're getting somewhere. - [Chris] (distorted) "Otash Katan! Evelyn Marthain!" (all laugh) - "Yes! Exactly." - I say "Yeah," (stammers)
"Yeah, Marthain." - "You can call me Evie if that's easier." - (distorted) "Evie." - Mm-hm. This is everyone. This is Otash. Say hello. - "Hey Otash. This is great. I felt like we needed kind of a feel good
moment." - Exactly, it was time, it was time. And obviously, it's in the script. - And that dwarf trapped in the crystal is still like putting his hands up on the
inside. (all laugh) - It's like when now we're looking over here
he's- - [Chris] You're no longer in contact with
Crystal, so you can't hear what he's barking about. - I just put my hands on it and I go, "Be
free!" I don't put anything into it, I just. (all chuckle) - Oh, okay. You hear the voice back saying, (distorted) "I can't get out!" - Oh, I did my best. (Jasmine laughs) - Could you ask the dwarf what happened to
make them get inside the crystals? - It is at, I wanna say at this time, Evelyn, that you notice there is a another dwarf in
this crystal. - Oh, I can ask myself. "Hey, how'd you get in there?" - The dwarf trapped in here, who you can see has sort of got kind of a
pale gray skin, white hair, spiky like a Mohawk. And he says, (distorted) "I don't know." - "Did it have anything to do with the liquid up there or anything?" - [Chris] (distorted) No. - Did you drink anything weird? Get sprayed with anything? No. Okay. - He says, (distorted) "The liquid turns you to crystal. But living crystal." - [All] Oh. - Well, let's get some. - "Like permanently though?" - [Chris] (distorted) "No." - "Oh, cool." Evelyn goes and drinks some. - [Chris] (distorted) "No!"
he's like, "Come back!" but then you can't hear him anymore. When you, like, stop touching the crystal, you flutter back up to the top. - I'm gonna drink some. I wanna be crystal. - All right. You see Evelyn... (imitates slurping liquid) - [Jerry] It's the dream. - Yes, absolutely. - All right. Evelyn, almost instantly, as soon as you drink, you feel it go into you. And it's this sort of almost like quicksilver-like
liquid. So it's just, bloop! Right down. And then suddenly you begin to crackle as
you move, (crystals crackle) and your whole body turns into basically this absolutely stunning sort of coruscating
golden crystal. - I do a really cool magical girl pose. - [Chris] This is your transformation? - Yeah. - This is her transformation scene. - So she's made of sparkly crystal. - Is she like stuck there? Is she like one of these? - No. - She's still a person. - Yeah. Now I'm a flying crystal fairy magical girl
person. - This is the end game really for Evelyn. - "Praise Lathander!" - When you move around, there are like little flashes of light that
trail behind you creating like a streamer. - Yeah! - Evelyn's trying not to scream "Look at me!" But it's clear that that's what she wants. - No, it's happening. (Chris imitates buzzing insect) The looking at is occurring. - The other thing you notice is that, that sound that was annoying you in the back
of your head, you don't feel that while in your crystal
form. - Hmm. "Guys, you gotta try this. This is great." - Yeah. As soon as I see that Jim would 100% want
to be on board. - [Jerry] You need a piece of this? - Yeah. - I get me on the crystal train. - Can I get like a, find a rock that has like
a hollow in it and I can just like throw some down so they don't even have to climb? - Crystal. Not even once. - Exactly. - Just say no. (all laugh) - In fact you're able to find exactly what
you want. Essentially kind of a flat depressed looking
rock. It's more like a plate, but you know. All right, so who's, you're partaking of the crystal. - Yeah, and as soon as I turn to Crystal,
I'm just, to Omin, I'm like, "You know what? I don't know what you gave me and I don't
care. I hope you have more." (Jerry laughs) - All right, so Jim, when you take this liquid. - I want this forever, later. - You turn into this, it's
sort of deep purple crystal. - [Chris] I love it. - I offer some to Otash, like the little plate. See if he wants some. - He looks at it, gives it a sniff. (sniffs and snorts) (all laugh) And is like, (growls in disgust) "No." - [Anna] "To take each their own. You're beautiful just the way you are." - I pour his back into mine. (all laugh) - Just floods inside. Here, I'm gonna put my hand on this crystal. The one that's close over here. And I say, "Are you, is this a jail for you? Is this some kind of dwarven jail? Like if I let you outta here, is that gonna
be like, bad for me, and you and like, how do you know, do you know this other guy with the white
hair? He's got the spiky hair." - (distorted) "Yes, we were together. No, we're trapped. We don't know how." - A prison, you didn't really, that doesn't necessarily imply you did something
bad. You need to ask like... - Oh yeah, yeah, exactly. "So let's just go down the list. Are you a murderer?" - [Chris] That's a good one. That's a good one to start with. - [Chris] (distorted) "No." - Okay. What does it sound like, (all laugh) does he say that in a way that seems, because
to me- (players talk over each other) To me that sounded like a murderer sort of
vibe. - A soupcon of murder to it. - So, insight? - [Chris] Yes, please. - Absolutely. 16 on the dice plus four is 20. - He is such a murderer. (all laugh) - So he says, (distorted)
"I'm a dwarf miner." - I'm gonna use insight on that too. Is that true either? - [Chris] Have at it. - I don't get that one as well. That's a two on the dice, plus four. - Well he is definitely a dwarf. (Jerry laughs) Of dwarven stock. - I just leave my hand on there and I say, "You know what, I don't, I think that- - [Chris] (distorted) "Please, free my friends! We can help you." - [Jerry] Kill people? - [Chris] (distorted) "No, we just want get
out!" - Murder. - "I was just gonna say, so you can kill people. Right? That's, that's what I'm-" - [Chris] (distorted) "No! Please!" - Ask them if they know the badger. - Yeah. I just say, "Hey. So do you know this badger that we're seeing? Like can you give us
information about this badger?" - [Chris](distorted) "No." - Okay. Well. - [Chris] (distorted) "But I know the password! - "I love passwords." - Oh, you know, now we're talking. I say, "What's the password?" - [Chris] (distorted) "Let
me out and I'll tell you." - that's a weird password. (players speak over each other) - [Chris] (distorted) "Please! It's terrible in here." - Is it? - I mean, I'm gonna get down there and then like really
look close. Like does he have a little like settee or
something? - No, it's just, he's got what he has on him. Which is some, like a hammer and his clothing and a pouch that looks heavy stuffed with
coins or gems perhaps. - "How long have you been in there?" - [Chris] (distorted) "I'm not sure." - "Well, you're just full of answers, aren't
you?" - [Chris] (distorted) "Months." - Months? How do you go to the bathroom? - [Chris] (distorted) "Uh..." (all laugh) - [Chris] "We don't have to In the crystal." - In the crystal world potty is not a thing. But here's how it's gonna go. - By the way, there are a total of three of
them who are- - Exactly. So this is basically the dwarf murderer version of our adventuring party. Here's how it's gonna go. We're gonna let them out and they're gonna
fuck us up in some way. And then we're gonna be the ones in the crystals waiting for another adventuring party. - Let's not do that. - No, wait, I'm saying if I let this guy out, he's gonna go let out his weirdo friends. And then we're gonna be here all afternoon. - Don't do it. - And the reality is, if we need a password
later, we fucking know where he is. We'll come right back here. Listen, as long as some other adventuring
party doesn't come in in the meantime. - Don't leave, okay? (all laugh) So yeah, I say I'm gonna put my hand on, I'm gonna say "No, big murderer energy inside the crystal for me. So- - [Jasmine] They need to stay in timeout. - They have to, yeah. It's gonna be timeout. - [Chris] He says, (distorted) "But there's
probably a reward, we're famous." - "Famous?" - [Chris] (distorted) "Yes." - As famous as Jim Darkmajiq? - Probably not. - (distorted) "Yes, I am bodyguard to the
prince." - "Which prince?" - (distorted) "Prince Plunderson Sunderson
Thunderson V." - Have I heard of this man? - Plunderson Sunderson Thunderson V? - [Jasmine] That sounds fake. - [Jerry] That sounds not real. - Yes. So you're not, you don't know Greyhawk that particularly
well. - But am I like, "Ooh, that prince?" - If you want to make a roll, you absolutely
can. - I would love to. What are we looking for here? - History. - History. That's in intelligence? - Intelligence. - I can't see it. - It's a six on the dot. - 11. - It's such a ridiculous name that you think you actually have
heard of a famous dwarf named Plunderson Sunderson Thunderson the... Third, or fifth. - Is that the guy you murdered? - [Chris] But you don't know the details. - (laughs) I just say, did he die recently? - He may have attended one of your performances. - Yeah, sure. Who hasn't? Okay. Yeah, no, I mean... - "It's a real guy?" - "It's a real guy. But he's still a real murdrer." (players speak over each other) - I mean it's just, listen, it's just nice
to know. I'm gonna say, "Well listen, we're gonna be, we'll we might be back later if we need the
password. But until then, you know, just keep doing what you're doing and you're
gonna be fine. It sounds like there's no potty in there. So huge plus for you, it seems like. - If we were to free them, how would we do
it? - My guess is that we would probably just
break them out of the crystal. Although maybe you break the crystal and then they just come out in pieces. Maybe just vomit- - The right frequency. - While this has been going on, you've just completed your spell. And so you believe that this- - With a crying badger trying to distract
me. - Right, exactly. It's tough. But you believe that this crystal is probably like the others, the magical lights originating from it do
not seem like a property of the crystal. They might be... It could be they're being created by someone trapped inside the crystal. (all gasp) - So you get up close on this crystal. It's the same situation except they're way
cooler. - Okay, yeah. I'm going to try to commune with the being
inside. - So when you get close through the dazzling
lights, you see that there are actually two creatures
in here. One is a rather portly badger. And I mean an actual badger. And the other is a resplendent, you guess
female, gnome. With a beautiful sort of rainbow, multicolored
hair. - [Jerry] Wow. - Sort of pulled up in a bob. - It's a Rainbow Brite situation? - And she's sort of splendidly dressed in this kind of gem encrusted gown. And she's got- - [Jasmine] I respect the drip. - She's got a little wand and a little sort
of pick hammer. - So she's flexing on 'em. - This is very great. - And when you put your hands on, of course
she says, (distorted) "Hello?" - "Hello? I just wanna say I love your artistry. 'cause that was really, like if you were trying to-" - [Chris] (distorted) "Thank you." - So she's basically sending out the, so she can cast spells from in there. That's pretty cool. - She says, (tiny voice) "I'm, I'm sorry if
my badger alarmed you. I tried to make him as friendly as possible. And as non-threatening as possible." - "I was into it, it was smokey the bear energy. But then my dad was like, "Probably trying to sell you drugs!" - She sort of waves her little wand and the little cartoon badger disappears. And she says, (high-pitched) "My name is Carnelian. I'm a spelunker. I became trapped in here by some sort of magical
mishap. I'm hoping you can free me." - "I really like your energy. I really like your clothes. You're giving me fellow magical bitch energy. I'm gonna let you out." (all laugh) - No conversation, no question at all. I buy it. - Decisive - Hook, line, (laughs) just like, come on
out. - She says, "I think it's okay to destroy the crystal. I don't think that will have any harmful effect
on us." - Okay, cool. I cast booming blade on my dagger to give
it some sonic energy and just stab into it. (crystal booms) - All right, yes. With the booming blade effect. And you all hear this thunder clap go off, and you hear this shattering of crystal as
this goes away and sort of falling down onto the ground amid the shards is Carnelian the gnome and
her- - [Jerry] Her badger accomplice. - And her badger accomplice, yes. - Does the giant react to the explosion at
all? - When the light goes out, he certainly casts his eyes back. But it seems to surprise him as much as it
does you. And so Carnelian's like, "Yes, thank you!" And she hugs you. - "Oh." - "Oh, I'm sorry. Was that too forward?" - "Yeah, very touchy. That's a sharp, sorry." (laughs) No, I need to stop referencing that, that,
but yeah, just like, "Oh, that's a lot." She says "Oh, I don't have much to thank you
with, but I am part-" - "What about this badger? Wait, what?" - [Jerry] I heard about owner. - Marbles? - [Carnelian] "Part owner of Narbles Marbles." - "So you're a fellow entrepreneur?" - [Carnelian] "Yes." - [Jerry] "Girlboss." - [Chris] "No." - Yeah. - "Really?" - [Jasmine} Yeah! - What you into? - "What am I not into? (Mark laughs) Recently I tried to mint and
sell time. (all laugh) That didn't work out." - "Mint and sell time?" - "Yeah." - Non-fungible time. - "That sounds amazing! I make marbles." And she pulls out a pouch and she shows you, shows off all these beautiful marbles that
she's got. "Please, take some." - [Jerry] I can see why she comes down here. - Are they mundane or magical? - They look mundane. But they're just exquisitely and beautifully crafted marbles. - "Yeah, I used to play marbles as a kid. They're fun. How did you get trapped in here?" - She says, there had been strange effects
going on in this complex for a while now. They were never particularly threatening. Sometimes annoying. But then there was a flash and I found myself
trapped in the crystal while I was chipping away at the gemstones." - Gemstones. - All right, I come in. (all laugh) Even whispered. Even whispered, in another room. I was like, "Hey, gemstone?" (Laughs) I was like, "I heard something about gems." Like, I run, I support myself on the wall. - Carnelian waves her little wand (crystals
chime) and lights go flying up into the air. And you can see the roof of this dome cave
is just this exquisite tapestry of unmined gemstones. - My eyes go as wide as the badgers. They're just like, and you see all of the gems reflected within
the dark pools of Certainty's eyes. "Wow." - "I've been coming here a lot. A lot of our marbles are made out of these
gems." - [Jerry] I say "This is the first floor of
this place. It's the first floor." I walk over to the giant. - [Jasmine] I say to Carnelian, "You and I are gonna be really good friends." - He's just sort of planted his club on the
ground. - [Mike] "Do you know if they're giving us
lunch? (all laugh) Or craft services? I think if we're here for more than three
hours. they have to give us lunch." (Mark speaks fantasy language) - Do we eat in this form? We're we're really, I mean... - [Mike] That's true. We might not not go to the bathroom or eat
anymore. Crystal. - He sort of just goes, does this to you. Like, just kind of pokes you with a finger, and it almost bowls you over, of course. But is like, (speaks fantasy language) - "Yeah, I'm on something man." I'm on something. - Like, and it's clear from his expression that he wasn't sure you were actually real
or not. - I don't think Jim knows if he's real or
not right now. - Can Evelyn, because she's kind of been,
you know, hovering around. They've been making friends. Can she pantomime enough to ask if she can
like, sit on his shoulder? - Yeah. The giant seems unperturbed by that. - So now we're friends and she's just sitting on his shoulder We're chatting, but neither of us understand
the other. But that doesn't stop us. - [Chris] Yes, unless you speak Giant. - I don't think I do. No. Celestial, Common and Elvish. - Yeah. I got, I got, I took some pervert shit on
the language side. - Carnelian will tell you that dwarves excavated much of this. And in fact, there are dungeon complexes attached to these
mines, which the dwarves built. But then the dwarves were driven out by some
duergar, who are evil dwarves. And they started to take over. So getting in and out has been very tricky
for her. And so she has been honing and practicing her illusion craft. - I mean, listen, we've already seen the fruits
of it. - This has happened to you like 400 times where I'm like, "Dad, this is my friend." - [Jerry] (laughs) Yeah, exactly. - "Her name's Carnelian. I love her." - Yeah, no, she's obviously the best. Now I say, "So Carnelian, there are some dwarves in crystal prisons. And I just wanna rap about that." - [Jerry] "Like what do
you know about that?" - Yeah, exactly. Like I say, "Do you know anything about this? I mean, how long have you been in your crystal?" - "It feels like I've been trapped in there
for months." - "How do you poop?" (all laugh) - "It's weird. I never felt the urge to when I was inside
the crystal." - That's it. - We had a theory. - That's science right there. - But she says, "Whenever I've come through here, there haven't been dwarves trapped in the
crystal. Maybe they were trapped at the same time as
me?" - I say, can I just have you, can I have you come and take a look at one of these dwarves just real quick?" - [Chris] "Sure. Oh my God, it's a giant!" - "Yeah, yeah, he's fine." I'm just like, "Whatever. Don't worry about him. That's Otash." Jim is tapping on him probably like, "Is it
a suit?" - High budget. - He's lifting up the loincloth. "Wow." - "It's accurate! - [Chris] "Details." - So you walk over to one, this crystal has a third dwarf in it who looks
like had previously fallen asleep, but is now awake with the other two. - Absolutely. And I say, "So Carnelian, if you can just take a look at these dwarfs. I definitely think, and this isn't like, I'm not saying like broadly-" - [Carnelian] "They're definitely duergar." - "I see." - [All] Oh. - "But I talked to one and I got, and again, I'm not saying, you know, all duergar but I'm saying that at least in this case, I'm definitely extracting a kind of..." - Murder vibe. - "Murder oriented energy, enthusiasm. And I'm just wondering if you've seen them
before, if you know these, if you've seen them. Like did they chase you?" - Yeah, she is acquainted with the three of
them. Their names are Plunderson Sunderson Thunderson
V, Torbjorn Wormjaeger, - [Mike] Wow. - And Alpheus Graves. - So one of them is the prince? - Oh, they're not princes. - Oh, "hey, hey, hey!" (laughs) "You said you were a prince!" (all laugh) - So if you're not in contact with the crystals- - No, I go over, as soon as she says this, I go over and put my hand right on and I say,
"Hey, prince!" - [Chris] He says- - "Your highness." - "I told you, I'm the bodyguard for the prince! That's the prince." - He points one of these other crystals? - Yes, exactly. (players talk over each other) - Take five. - Okay. I just sit down with Evelyn and the giant, just leaning up against him. - I'm gonna go over to the other crystal. - And he says, (distorted) "Yes, I'm Plunderson Sanderson Thunderson
V." - See, I'm checking that pouch, you know what I mean? I'm looking at 'em, looking in the- - They've all got nice, fat, treasure pouches. - I mean, I guess we could just pop 'em once
at a time. (ominous music) What? - There's not exactly a shortage of gems. - You know what? You're right. - So why deal up with that? - Like, they're up there. - We got a hoe that flies! Why don't you send her out there? (Mike laughs) - You know, that's not, I mean that's, you're gonna wanna have a good relationship. You're gonna wanna have a good relationship
with Evelyn. - But- - At some point in the future. - A hoe, like, 'cause it. - I think it was a pickax, actually. - That works too. - "Certainty." - "What?" - "You-" - (yells) "What?" - "You're going to want to have a good relationship-" - "We do!" - "With Evelyn in the future." - "Why? We're fine." - "You never know what's, you never know what could happen. I mean, obviously you're-" - "We're fine!" - "That's so sweet. You think I'm a good friend." - "Yeah, exactly right. And I see it, there is a, obviously the romantic campaign is reaching
its zenith." - Evelyn is not paying attention. - "Even as we get deeper into the earth-" - "This is so awkward." (all laugh) - Omin, in the middle of this conversation, you're just kinda looking. And one of the dwarves is taking an avid interest in what you're saying. Not because he can hear you. But he's like trying to read your lips. - Oh yeah. He's he's sort of, he's like reading the room. - Yes. And he's close enough, like he's almost pressed up on the inside of the crystal looking out. You can see hanging around his neck is a holy
symbol. And that holy symbol is a triangle with another
triangle inside of it and a third triangle inside of
that. You know that that is (whispers) Asmodeus. (all gasp) - At first I was like, Triforce, we're in. We've got the hero of legend. He's here. We're gonna kick the shit outta this place. Now it's worse. Now it's like some devil stuff. Oh no. Well that places me in an invidious position. - In a what? - It places me in a, it, it puts me at odds
with- - I heard Nvidia graphics cards. - I heard Nvidia. (all chuckle) - It puts me in an Nvidia position. - [Mike] That's what I thought. - High def graphics. - Yeah, exactly. It's got the ray tracing and stuff. So, in DLSS. So... (all laugh) - You just sort of trail off for a second
there. - Yeah, exactly. Like in the middle of the conversation. I just like, "Anyway,
think about what I said." (Jasmine gasps angrily) And I'm gonna see this symbol, am I getting like, as a cleric of this entity, am I getting anything? Am I pulling something? 'Cause by my maul has a stone set in it that
is very nice. But it's also definitely a sign of my, a sign of station inside this, you know, Asmodean
cult. Am I getting any information about what I
should do here? - Hmm. No. - Okay, then if I'm not getting any direct
information about what I should do, then I am not going
to touch it. And my guess is that this is, my guess is that Asmodeus's priesthood is
fucking, is like reality show tier. People are always getting kicked off the island. I think cruelty. Internal... - Politics. - Oh, exactly. I see the symbol and my eyes widen briefly and then I just turn away from the crystal. I'll just let him in there. I'll just let him hang out inside. (groans) Man, this new job sucks. (all chuckle) All right. but we have new friends and we have a really
significant gem mining operation to begin. - Yeah. And we're cool, right? - I forgot the... - About Bobby, occasionally he rolls around, rolling around in his prismatic sphere. He probably like, gets stuck in this acid pool and it's just kind of (imitates paddling) - He's just running super, acids shooting
out everywhere. - Evelyn will continually be babysitting the
ogre, because they're buddies, you know. "Oh, oh, careful! Careful." - Yeah. You might have to give him a push out of the
acid. - Acid everywhere. God, he's gonna run into one of these fucking
crystals. I wanna go in and check out the crystal. The gem room. - Oh, that's this room right here. - But you're seeing something zesty over here? - Yes. - Oh, I was looking around in here, but do
I see something? - So when you appear in there, yes, You can see that there is, it looks like part of the floor has erupted and there is light spilling up from what may
have been a well or something. Or a natural shaft in the earth. So we have three dwarves trapped in crystal. We have one gnome who is not, and Certainty you have recorded that you've got some marbles. - Yeah, some gemstone. - [Chris] Outstanding marbles. Never know when those might come in handy. - Yeah, and I'm actually gonna, as I'm regarding
them, before I put them into my bag, I'm actually gonna take a moment to use them to cast up my portent die. - So for the uninitiated. What does that mean? - So ever since Certainty traveled through
time, she's been able to kind of have a better understanding
of the future and the past. And the way this manifests mechanically is, I get portent die and I can replace any roll
before the result is declared with one of these die. And it could be a friend or it could be an
enemy. - Is it any dice you want? - Yeah. So like if you roll to hit, before you roll, I can just say, actually that's a 20. 'cause I've foreseen this moment and I know how this is gonna go. Or before an enemy hits you, I can say it's
actually, that's a three. (players speak over each other) - Any dice, any way. - Any dice, any way. So one's a four, so that'd be great probably
for thwarting. - Oh, I see. So you rolled 'em all at once. - And a 19. - Okay, so those are tucked away. - [Jasmine] Those are my back pocket. - That's gonna work. - All right. When you use portent here, you get flashes
of the future. - [Jasmine] Oh. (mysterious music) - One of the images that you see looks like an exploded beholder. It's parts just sort of scattered on the floor. A beholder being- - [Jerry] Eye stalks. - And yes, slime. You get a vision of a tall red skinned devil sort of rising to its full height. (all chuckle nervously) You get a vision of
being literally surrounded by a sea of short little mushroom people. - [Jerry] Wow, that one might... - And you get a vision of tentacles of lava. - [Jasmine] Oh wow, uh-oh. - [Jerry] Lava tentacle, question mark? - And then finally a
brief, momentary image, sort of weird and swaying, of a three-headed
snake statue. - Okay. - [Chris] But only Certainty sees that? - [Chris] That's right. As she's casting her portent and she gets
these visions of what she believes to be the future. - While she's doing that, I'm pushing Bobby
out of the ooze. (all laugh) - [Jerry] Now, hang on. You gotta you gotta work with me. Gotta run the same way. - I'm basically becoming Ravenore to try to get outta that ooze. - I walked over to look at this room, so I would like to kinda a hunch down, get underneath the well of light please. I just kind of stick a hand into it. - Okay. So when you get close, you see that the light is coming up from below and shining through what appears to be a crystal cap or top on this thing. - [Jerry] It's got a lid? - It's got a lid. - [Mike] Do I see people in it like the other
ones, or no? - When you look through the crystal, granted there's some distortion because it's
not perfect glass or anything. But you see that underneath, deep down, immersed in the light is a bizarre looking
creature. The likes of which you haven't seen before. And it seems to be curled up like it's asleep and it's got its claws around something that looks like this. Just a black piece of obsidian. - The hunk of the, so the obelisk hunk! - (whispers) Obelisk hunk! - And the creature coiled around it looks
like this. - Mm. - Oh, kind of an armadillo-y. - [Anna] Puppy! - Yeah, it's like an armored puppy shark. - (laughs) Okay. - Yeah I announce to Omin, or I guess everybody in the cave, "I think I've found the shard," like, I would've known that this was part
of- - [Jerry] Yeah. It's part of your character's motivation,
right? - Yeah. - [Jerry] It's to find the shard. - I put my hand on the crystal like I did when I could talk to the dwarves. - Your hand goes through it. - Oh. - And you can see, because you are crystal
yourself, sort of the distortion, the color from your sort of purple kind of
leeches out a little bit into the covering. - I just move my hand in and out for a little while. (laughs) - Yeah. And there's this sort of crunchy noise almost
like you're just sort of passing your hand through like popcorn or something. - [Jerry] A squeak. - Yes, exactly. And you pull it back out, but no harm done. And the creature down below, one of its claws like, like a dog sleeping,
it just sort of, kind of jerks like this, but it just keeps hugging the crystal shard, or the obsidian fragment. - Okay. Can I tug it out? - [Chris] It's too far down. - Oh, it's too far down, okay. - [Chris] Yeah, it's about 20 feet down. - Okay. - [Chris] And it's a rough sort of crystalline
pit. - Got it. - Oh, it just sort of extends down from here
around. - [Chris] Exactly. - Well, I let everybody know that it's over
here. I'm gonna need some help if I'm gonna get diving down in there. - Me and Otash are gonna come over. I'm gonna point down. And I'm gonna point at the shark puppy and ask Otash to like, "Do you know, you know what that is?" Is a friend?" (Chris speaks fantasy language) - Yeah, no? - Basically, sounds right. I don't know. - Does he look... - He shrugs his shoulders. - Okay. - "I don't care about those. That's not part of my thing." - Does it look like he
could reach in and grab it? - [Anna] I motion to him like to reach in. - It's about 20 feet down. So even he would have to sort of climb down
into the pit. But of course- - I just mean can he go through the crystal? - Oh yeah, he sort of, first he taps it with
his great club. (Chris imitates club banging) Feels hard. He puts his hand on it. Feels hard. - Oh, you have to be crystal in order to even get into this crystal pit. Well it's a solid, okay, it's solid crystal. - Bobby's orb is crystal. - I mean, that would be really funny. Let's just- - Actually his orb is more like, kind of like
magical. (all laugh) It's like a magical soap bubble. - [Anna] That would've been fun though. - I would definitely roll him over. - [Chris] And he does, he just sort of rolls over the top of it. - He's just bouncing around. - I have catapult. Would it be possible for me to like fling it up out of there? - Ooh. - That is a great question. Let me look that up. - The creative use of spells from this one. - I've been playing this game for a long time. I don't know about this spell. - In the spell description, does it say how heavy an object or thing you
can catapult? - It does, one to five pounds. - [Jerry] It says one obelisk. - [Chris] This is much bigger than that. - Oh really? - [Chris] Yeah, this obelisk chunk is a big
chunk. Like that's basically actual size. - Is it five pounds per level? Is there any way to scale? - [Chris] It's a cantrip, so it like- - Oh, okay. Probably not then. - Let's see. You cast higher level, "When you cast a spell
using a spell slot of second level or higher, the maximum weight of the objects increases
by five pounds." - So you'd have to be much higher level. - Yes. - What if- - To extract it. - And I don't know if this is, I guess the duty of a convention or something. (all laugh) - What if- - [Jerry] Love this intro. - Yeah, I'm ready. - What if we made one of those dwarves do
it and just like released them, tied them up and made them go get it in return
for releasing their other two friends? Otherwise we'd kill them. - I could just do it. I can go get it. Look, I can go in. - [Chris] Yeah, if you can. - Do you think this is a smart idea though, to go into a demonic pit? This is me being nice. - [Jerry] No, no. I appreciate this. You're just like, nah, I like my war crime thing. - There's like's 20 feet down. (all laugh) You're gonna down there alone with a puppy. - [Anna] It looks cute! - You're soft now though. - I don't think so. (imitates tapping on crystal) - No, but I mean like in in general you're not like
the Evelyn from like a week ago. - "The light of Lathander shines out of me
just the same." (all laugh) - Oh my fucking god. - No, no, no. And I am, I am by her side, here can I, I'm by her side in an instant from the other
room and I'm like, "It really does." (all laugh) it actually really does. - "Thank you, you see me. - I saw, yeah, I saw." - We could tie a rope to her. - [Anna] I can fly! (players talk over each other) - I'm like, check out these shoes. Just go, yeah, let her go get it. - Okay! (imitates air wooshing) I dive in. - All right. So as you make moves, the the giant just sort
of holds a hand out. Doesn't actually put it on you, but just a... (Chris speaks fantasy language) - "I'll be careful. You're so sweet, Otash." (Otash grunts)
- I give him a little kiss on the cheek. (all laugh) - All right. - I can't, like his language, whatever it
is, is just perfect. I never want to know what he's saying ever. I just want to hear it weird. I just want it to be wild. - Yeah, you go down through about a foot of
crystal into this pit where this creature is sleeping,
slumbering with its obsidian teddy bear rock fragment. (Chris laughs) - [Chris] With this haunted evil spire. - Yes, and you can see that its armor is hard and layered and its mouth
is humongous and could easily snatch you up in one bite if you're not careful. So it's sort of clutched its talons around the rock protectively, but it's clearly just sleeping and enjoying. - I'm sing a Lathanderian lullaby and cast sleep on the creature. ♪ Keep sleeping in the light of Lathander
♪ (all laugh) ♪ And nothing will harm you ♪ Yoink! - So the sleep spell tells you what you have
to do. How many dice you have to roll. - Five D8. - That's how many hip points you can put to
sleep. - [Chris] So you basically have to deal damage, sleep damage. - One plus three is four. Plus one is five (laughs) plus two is seven plus two is nine. - [Chris] Maybe he has nine hitpoints. You don't know. - [Jenna] I mean, he is already asleep! (players talk over each other) - I would argue I have advantage. - [Chris] That's true, 'Cause he's already asleep. Yeah. - Advantage wouldn't affect it. (all laugh) - but I'm just- (players talk over each other) - But mentally. - I love that you put it out there even though you know
perfectly well this man. (all laugh) - Yeah. So you cast this spell, and the rest of you
by the way, don't hear her casting the spell. You just see... - We're just watching through this sort of
puddle. - It's a very sweet lullaby too. Maybe he just likes the lullaby and stays
asleep. - Now, yeah. And maybe the lullaby is enough and so... - Oh my god. (players talk over each other) about the size of the obelisk thing around? - Oh, we're trying to do an Indiana Jones
type thing?. - A little Indiana Jones switchy. - Up there, not down here. - I'll go grab one. - So Evelyn flies back up, says she needs
a rock. - The Evel-ith. (Anna laughs) So I was gonna say we got some big rocks down
here. (players talk over each other) And it's like I look for- - Yeah, you got some shattered chunks of crystal
over here. - I'm looking for a non dwarf crystal. You know what I'm talking about? I'm looking for a crystal that
doesn't have a dwarf in it, dwarf free. Yeah, you can grab one from Carnelian's prison. - It's even prettier. Maybe it'll like this better. - Wait a minute and you do sort of a, a quick, give me a just- - Eye it. - Yeah, you're gonna have to eye this. 'cause you know the weight and the size. - I feel like you have a proficiency at this. - So it's acrobatics? (Chris laughs) - Do you have any other potentially applicable
skills? - Can you still shape stone? Is that a thing you can do? - [Anna] Yeah, I feel like stone is kind of
the same. - [Jerry] No. That's high level. If only dude, I could, right? I have like one button to push. It's stone button. - I wanna also, after he checks it, I want to insight it to make sure that I believe that he knows what he's doing. - Now, deception is typically verbal and charismatic. If it's asleep, it can't really take full
advantage of it. - [Chris] But you are proficient in deception. - Oh yeah. - [Chris] So I'll let you apply that. I'll let you make an intelligence deception
check. - Oh, okay. I was just gonna say it's just like, but deception is mostly just about being full
of shit. Which I think I can do. - [Chris] This is a deception of a sort. - So intelligence. So here we go. - Add your deception to your intelligence
role. - I will indeed. That is a 14 on the dice plus three. So 17. - Nice. - So you find the best chunk of crystal you
can. - [Jerry] The most cuddly rock. - That's of the appropriate size and density. - Chipped just so. - You even have to like, break off a little
piece. Just to kind of- - Shear a little bit of it. - And then you hand that, you hand the Evel-ith
to Evelyn. - Yeah, exactly. So go over right over the top. Hand this over to you. - Take it down there. And do the little, like right in between the
snore, (Anna imitates snoring) - Little Indiana Jones thing. All right. I'm gonna have you make a dexterity slight
of hand with advantage because there's- - Yay! - Just because of the powerful success. - Okay, first roll is four. Thank goodness for that advantage. Come on Lathander. 16 plus one is 17. - [Chris] All right. You've got the fragment and it's got the Evel-ith. - I come up, I am crystal magical girl coming up through the crystal. - Right, outta the right out of the pool of light and crystal. - Yes. (sings magical tone) - And because you are holding the rock, it passes through with you. - Great. - So you arise, the Bulette stays asleep with its cuddly rock. - Perfect. And you now have the obelisk fragment in your
custody. - Just a little trade. I hand it to Omin. - Exactly. Well, I give it a football style grip for maximum stability. And I'm going to start investigating this
hunk. We know that it's hooked into something. We know that it's hooked into something bad. We're here trying to figure out stuff. And luckily for us it was just right here on the first floor. I mean, we're gonna be outta here for lunch. - Well, like one piece of it. - Well, I mean, but it's a big beast. Listen. You gotta take the W, you know what I mean? We got it. And I think that Evelyn did a great job. - Thank you. - I didn't say she didn't! and I'm like, sitting next to Carnelian I'm like, "It's
always like this." - Are you looking for more pieces? I mean, I feel like this is a big one. I feel like we're done. - "Like the man who raised me on the art of
war is asking me to be fucking nice, Carnelian. (all laugh) Like, anyways, you know how it is. Thank you for the marbles." - She just says, "You seem to have very nice
friends. I like them all." - "I do too. I just, I express it in different ways." - You need to turn Carnelian away also. - "No, I get it." - "Ways to express yourself." - "It's visceral." - "Yeah, I believe it." - "Yeah, you need a range of emotion." - And I can see how that might be a little difficult sometimes." - "Thank you. You get it." - "I totally do." - And it looks a little evil. I'm gonna say. But I have the rock and I am holding it over this upward flowing column of light. (Chris sings angelic note) - And it looks a little- - [Chris] It's bottom lit. - It looks a little super villain. - It does. Especially when you see your shadow on the
wall holding up this thing. - Absolutely does. - Next to Evelyn's crystalline shadow. (laughs) - Oh yeah, this is the book cover for sure. - Do we get paid now? Or how does, are we done? - As you say that, all of you, (mysterious
music) all four of you are suddenly struck by the most jarringly painful headache you can possibly imagine. So much so it is just momentarily blinding
for you. And then when you kind of crack your eyes
open, you're not here anymore. (all gasp) - What? (singer vocalizing)
