EPISODE 4: A Room With A Viewer || Acquisitions, Inc. The Series 2

(upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (somber music) - Welcome to Episode Four of Acquisitions Incorporated: The Series 2. - Are you ready for more adventure? - Oh yeah, oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Adventure! - Bring it on. (speaker chuckles) I've been waiting all day. - Well, then let's get right to it. Mike, I believe you have a recap for us on what happened last time. - I do. - I do, I remember everything that happened to us - In full detail, each death. - Yes So we were transported to a new level, and this one was breaking apart. It was being destroyed, you could see down below, stars. That was all. And we were able to hop across this big chasm, thanks to some feather fall and a rope, all worked out great. There was a tomb over there. Oh, no! First thing that happened, a beholder tried to come in, and then the portal that it was coming through closed before it even got through, which happens I guess. - Yeah. - And these tentacles fell down- - Yeah. - And you'd think that the tentacle by itself would be inert, right? - And fun. - And fun to play with. - Mm-hmm. - Which is great. (speaker laughs) - But they're not, rays are firing out of these things all the time. So we fucked around with these eye stalks for awhile. Bobby got paralyzed. - I did, yeah. - Omin almost died. - Yeah. - Literally the death throw- - A literal death ray, but I did manage to roll, a good roll for once. - Yeah. We had an idea to try to put them in a bag, it didn't. (speaker chuckles) - There is no good way to work with these guys. No, no, no matter what we tried to do with them, they started to shoot out. And then also, because you're Jim Darkmajiq, - Yeah. - And you're Evelyn Marthain, but gem edition. - Mm-hmm. - Sometimes the beams would shoot into your crystalline form. - Yeah. - And then they would shoot all the rest of us. - Mm-hmm. - And so that was, I mean, that was also unpleasant. - That wasn't the best. - That was trying to be noble. - Chris is mean- - Yeah. - Is the takeaway. - Mm-hmm. - We found a tomb where they bury people and their weapons, and Certainty was cool. - Mm-hmm. - Like it was cool to the person who was dead- (speaker chuckles) - Yeah. - And the weapon. - Yeah. - And so the weapon came along. Bobby grabbed it, it's a big pick that also can talk to him. - Chippy, Chippy. - Has a German accent, so warm-up on your- - Yeah, it sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger. - German consonants. - Yeah. - And then, oh, we saw a room that had a bunch of dead dwarves in it. Their brains had been taken out by a brain collecting spider bug. (speaker chuckles) Yeah. (speaker chuckles) That killed me twice. (thrilling music) The second time it felt a little weird 'cause there were like three people between me and the spider thing that- - It was personal, like that beam had to avoid. (speaker laughs) - Mm-hmm, yeah. - I don't know how that worked. - Can we talk about where you died though? - Well, I died on my, I have a crying rock, I had a crying rock in the other level- - Mm-hmm. - That I like to cry on, I like to die on. (speaker laughs) Right? - Mm-hmm. - And it healed me. - You're stuck in there. You're stuck in there. - Yeah. - Oh, and also Omin has changed his technique slightly. So now he is no longer claiming that we are a part of a sort of magical multiverse adventure theater visceral takes place. Let's get the theater out of the theater, right? - Mm-hmm. - Jim gave me some realization. - Yes. After he died the second time, I felt like maybe I needed a new tack. So the new scenario is this. I have told Jim that I am from the future, (speaker chuckles) and that I know that if he becomes a great wizard, but in order for that to happen, he has to do everything that I say for the next 10 to 20 years. And so far it seems to be working. - Well, like he told me something from the future that I didn't know. - Oh yeah, the turdonut. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (speaker laughs) Because there's a donut that has another donut inside of it. - Yeah, it's a donut. - That they make in the future. - Yeah. - I bought it. - And I am impressed that Omin did sort of tell the truth. - Yeah. - 'Cause you are in fact from the future. - No, he doesn't know that, he doesn't think of it that way. - Yeah, I didn't, yeah. - And if he had known that he had told the truth, he would be ashamed right away. (speaker chuckles) But anyway, I'm sorry, please. - We killed the spider thing, Evelyn and Bobby beat the shit out of it, caught it on fire. - Mm-hmm. - Breathed acid on it. - Breathed acid on it. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, that was crazy. - Oh my God, Bobby rolled three sixes in a row. The number of the beast. - Yeah. (speaker chuckles) The damage dealt was halved. It was nine damage, which they tell me is the number of Asmodeus. - Right. - Yeah. - And then after that we... Oh, we saw this other room over here that had a magic fire in it after we put a coin in, and they all stuck shit in there. - Mm-hmm. - And it caught fire. - It's hot. - And I stuck my shit in there and it like burned up 'cause... Chris was really like, not liking me. (speaker laughs) - It was an act of- It was hours and hours. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - One of the most hideous aggression. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - My shit caught on fire, and I had to like put it out. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. - Everybody else got a magic weapon. - Not you. - No, yeah. - No. - And then we picked out the chunk that we needed. Everybody got the headache and teleported. Chris said, "You all get a long rest", and he left. - Mm-hmm. (speaker chuckles) - Did he actually say you had a long rest? - Well, actually you won't be able to finish a short rest. - No. - So- - I'm gonna get you. - You get nothing. - I remember something about it. I remember he said, long- - Time to rest. - Jasmine, did he say long rest? - He said long, didn't he say? - Yeah, he did say like, you close your eyes. - Yes. - And you open them after a long time, and I feel like that. - This was like, you feel refreshed. - Like there's something. (speaker laughs) It's an implication. (speaker laughs) - The snort, I mean. (speaker laughs) - It's about the implication. (speaker laughs) - Yeah, exactly. - Nobody fucking backed me up. - If you close your eyes- - I was trying to give- - Open them. - Jasmine the opportunity to pay you back. - We could’ve sold that. - Yeah. - Yeah, no, I was selling it until you'd snorted. (speaker laughs) - No, it came from deep within, but anyway yeah, so full HP and- - Yes, spell slots back. - (speaker laughs) No, I don't think so. My guess is that it's really important to them that we- - Don't rest. - Suffer. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Perpetually, and thus far they've managed it. - Let's find out, maybe we're wrong. - Well, here's my question. - Yeah. - Does nothing in Greyhawk have experience (speaker chuckles) appointed to it? - Yeah. No. - Like- - That's a great question. - We like the first, episode one, I was like, okay, we didn't kill anything, fair play. I was too, I was, we've killed... - Seconded, motion approved- - A brain spider, quivering brain spider. - Yeah. - And technically I would argue half of a beholder. - Yep, yeah, 50%. - Mm-hmm. (speaker chuckles) - Mm-hmm. - And that like the- - The bad part. - tentacle thing that came out, and the ooze that came out. - And the ooze. - The worst parts. - Yeah. - And also- - And milestone wise. - And also even got a bunch of goo on her from a hole. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - That's gotta be worth something. - Hole goo, yeah. - Yeah. - That was a butt. - That came out of the bubble. (speaker chuckles) - That was real wet in there. - Yeah, it was super-wet, so that's probably - Yeah. - Two levels right there. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. - Yeah. - And anyway just consider it. - And especially with the experience, every time we attempt to take a short rest, something happens. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So it just does seem like that would give us even like, maybe like 1.2 times the experience or something, it's a multiplier. - They were playing on nightmare level mode. - Yeah, nightmare mode. - Nightmare mode. - This is exactly maximum difficulty, perma death. - Yeah. - Well, that's at least two times. - Oh, we know permanent death, I mean- - It's so- - Yeah, you see them, (speaker laughs) yeah, a couple of times. (speaker laughs) - It's so cute how we think this is gonna work. - No, I mean, we- (speaker laughs) - But I'm enjoying it. (speaker laughs) - You don't have to eat dinner. (speaker laughs) - Would you like a pony with that too? (speaker laughs) So that high pitched sound (laughs) goes through your mind again as you leave that place that was falling apart. - Mm-hmm. - Surrounded by strange glimpses of stars. And as your vision comes back into focus, and that high pitch sound subsides, you find yourselves inside a room with no windows and no doors. - And no doors. (laughs) - The room appears to be growing. - Is this haunted room (speaker laughs) actually stretching? - Hmm, or is it your imagination? - And it's funny you mention that. - Oh, oh! - Oh, no. (laughs) - Because you see that it does appear to be getting taller. The walls seem to be stretching. - Hmm. - Really? - And a amethyst light suddenly illuminates the room, and I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw. - I've been on this ride before, it's fun. We're still blessed by Asmodeus though, right? - You do not feel the infernal blessing. - Okay. - Still present. - You said constitution saving throw? - Yes. - 22. - Oh, 19. - Twins. - Yay! We were die twins. - How you doing, Mike? - Ooh, look at that. - I got a six. - You doing well, that's, well, I got a 15. - All right, in- - I rolled a 19 for 21, 22. - So Omin and Jim- - What? - Immediately fall to the ground and appear to be fast asleep? In fact, they're both snoring very loudly. - Sounds like a long rest, baby! (laughs) How many spell slots do I get back? (speaker laughs) - Mm-hmm, hmm. - We'll find out in a minute. (laughs) The three of you, you managed to ward off the wave of sleep that hit your two companions. And so what that means is, instead of falling asleep, you have this irresistible urge to just sit on the ground and ponder your situation. - Hmm. - And you see that this room appears to be an elevator going down. - Oh, okay. - Oh! - And the flash of amethyst light that knocked them out and that sort of puts you into this awake stupor is then followed by a green flash of light. You two did not have to make a saving throw, but the three of you do. - I actually have a point of order, magic can't put you to sleep because you and I are the same race. - Yeah, but this is a special type of magic. (speaker laughs) - Yeah, remembering that shit on my character. (laughs) - What, what- - And Omin, you go, (snores) and you wake up realizing (laughs) you shouldn't have fallen asleep. (speaker mumbles) (speaker laughs) - I’m not doing this. - So I'm just snoring, okay. Yeah. - So the only person (chuckles) snoring is Jim. - All right. - He is really tired. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You should let him have a nap. - I'm drooling. - So I'm gonna save. - What are we rolling for? - Oh, that's my karma, that's it. - Con save against this green light. - Oh, here's what I've got for you, Jeremy. I've got a 10 for the green light save, and I know that it's good. It feels like a good 10, like a high 10. (speaker chuckles) - Solid. - And what did everyone else get, other than Jim? - Yeah, I'm snoring. - Mm-hmm. - I rolled a 17 plus three is dirty 20. - I rolled a one. - So very close to- - Yeah. - My father and- - Yeah, it's a- - Sig figs. - Family business. - Yeah. - Laying on the fucking ground. - When one looks at the significant figures, a one really is kind of a 10. - Yeah. - In some regards. - Hmm, yeah. - Eye of the beholder. (speaker chuckles) - And what did you get? - 13. - 13, ouch! - Oh, no! (laughs) - And so, Evelyn, you see the three of them all scream out in pain. You're not sure why though, you see them all flinch. The three of you all feel like, you just got engulfed by green flames. - Green flame! - Green flame! - And you each take nine fire damage. (speaker mumbles) - Oh! - Uh-oh. - Hell yeah. (speaker chuckles) - That was like, half my health. - He doesn't. - He does not. - He’s sleeping? - He's sleeping. - We should have gone to sleep. - We should have gone to sleep. - Chasing a rabbit. (speaker chuckles) - Yeah, and the rabbit is not made out of fire. - Yeah. - He said nine? - Yeah, nine. - It’s a regular rabbit. - Yeah, I'm just like (speaker mumbles) (laughs) - Then the legs are gone. - The elevator starts to speed up. - Oh! - And then there is a red flash of light, and the four of you who are awake, you have to make another constitution saving throw. - I miss my aura so bad. - That was a good aura. - 12 for a 15. - Hmm, 19. - What kind of save is this? - Con again. - Con again. That's an 11. - Uh, four. (speaker chuckles) - All right, Bobby and Evelyn, you both resist it, but the Dran’s- - Hmm. (speaker chuckles) - What you two see is seeping out of the walls, there is this wave of blood that starts to pour into the room and- - It's always blood with this guy. (speaker chuckles) - And it forms up into a figure, and you see standing in front of both of you, your sister, Portentia. - Oh, shit. - The rest of you. - The one I, what, oh- - Yeah. - The rest of you do not see this. But you see the two of them looking transfixed at a spot in space, and she looks at the two of you. I am so disappointed in both of you. - Oh! - You're my little sister, like you can't be disappointed. That's not how it works. - You stopped me from ruling the Sword Coast. - Yeah, I mean that. No, that is true. Honestly, she's got us there. - I mean, you had a ship full of blood samples. You were... - Tenty, it was super-villian shit. I mean, honestly, your reach exceeded your grasp on this one. - I mean, I'm not past a hostile acquisition or... I'm a businesswoman myself, but. - Absolutely, absolutely. - Some of the stuff you were trying to pull, it crosses over to... - It was a lie. - Public image. - Right. - We share a last name. - Right. I can't deny, it was a big play. Yeah, yeah. - It was a huge play. - Yeah. - Who are they talking to? - Evelyn's like behind, (speaker chuckles) like standing right where they're looking. - And we have to give her that. - You shot for the moon. - Exactly. - Glass ceilings exist to be broken. - Absolutely, and that's actually very well put. - In this case, yeah. - Are you guys okay? - Maybe we were the glass ceiling. - We're great, yeah. - So yeah. - We're great, we're great. - Okay. We're just talking to Portentia. - Yeah, having a conversation. - Evelyn, - Portentia. Portentia, - Yeah. - Evelyn. - This is my aunt. - Hi, nice to meet you. - Hmm. - Yeah. - She's, it's not nice. - (snores) - It's not personal. - Yeah. - I mean, you're the one who says that, right? It's not personal, it's just business. - Exactly. In a way you taught us to destroy you, so think on this. - And that's why, because I appreciate your acumen, you're fighting for what you believe in. What if this time we joined up, we partner to new world, Acquisitions Incorporated and Dran Enterprises have very little footprint here in the world of Greyhawk, we could start making some deals. - We could. - We could, but it's also like, especially at the founding, especially- - Yeah. - Here at the beginning of the process like- - Yeah. - I don't know if we really want like loser energy. - Yeah, yeah. - So we get, you know what I mean? - And we don't really need, like we don't really (chuckles) need you. - Exactly. - As much as you need us. - Loser energy? - Well, I'm worried that it's going to sort of infect 'cause- - The vibes are- - Yeah. - It's off. - It's off. - It's not a brand match, it's- - It's off, it's off. And there's some cultural distinctions as well. - Yeah. - Just between our organizations, so. - Uh-huh. - I'm afraid we're gonna have to pass on this one. - Yeah. (thrilling music) - Huh. - Oh, you look hurt. Oh, this is on... See, this is why we usually hire somebody to do this. This is why it should be an email. - The Portentia (speaker chuckles) in front of you collapses. (speaker chuckles) - Oh! - And Bobby and Evelyn, you see suddenly the two of them splattered with blood. - Oh! - Oh, out of nowhere? - Out of nowhere. - Phoo, beh! - Eh, are you okay? (speaker mumbles) - Beh, boo, beh, boo, boo! - Whose blood is that? - Ah, is this like an actual instead of metaphorical blood on my hands- - Yeah, yeah. - Type of thing? - Well, no, and it's like they're, but they're connected, right? - Hmm. - The two are connected, for sure. - Hmm. - How are you sleeping through this? - Hmm. - Jim just like screams in the middle of his sleeping, he's still sleeping. Yeah. (speaker laughs) - Yeah, I'm gonna reach over to that, that long like the top of that cloak, and just give it a couple of quick tugs, Jim? Jim? Jim? - Make another constitution saving throw. (speaker laughs) - Well, plus zero, so let's see how this goes. (speaker laughs) We decided that the 15-year anniversary symbol is the one. - It's 20. - Oh, you told me last time. Goddammit. (laughs) You can go to the fucking tape. You told me that the AI symbol is the 20. - Yeah. - I, Jim, rolled a 15. - And so, you wake up. - Bah! - And you were- - I’m covered in blood, it's like, yeah, yeah, welcome. Thanks, thanks for coming back. Oh God, it happened again! (laughs) - And you have the benefits of a short rest. - Ah, I'm so jealous. - Oh! - Oh, somebody gets a rest. - How many spell slots does that give me? (laughs) - Actually you can have some back because of your arcane recovery. - I have that, yes, so I'm gonna recover a slot. You can't stop me. (laughs) - I don’t want to stop you. - Okay. (speaker laughs) - I think that if you hit the short rest button, it just gives you. - Oh, is that just like do it. - Gives you the opportunity, yeah. - Yeah. Go right back up to the top. I don't know exactly where that is. - Oh, arcane recovery. Once per day, when you finish a short rest, you can choose expended spell slots to recover up to a combined level of two, and none of the slots can be six. I don't even have six level or higher slots. My slots are way lower. - Yeah. - So you already gave yourself a spell. - I did. - a second level spell back, so we're Gucci Gang. - I can do one more though, I can do up to two. - Ooh! - More missiles. - I'm gonna get another first level spell back too. I'm ready to go. - Okay. - Which one what was it like? - Yeah. - Rest. - Yeah. - I feel refreshed. - I think Bobby's idea is good, we should all lay down. - Yeah. - I'm like just trenched in gore. - Really you guys are gonna sleep now. (speaker laughs) We’ve got shit to- Everybody is laying down- - Yeah. (laughs) - For the nap time. - The elevator speeds up some more. - Oh no! Close your eyes! - And now there is a flash of purple, deep purple light. So Evelyn, you shut your eyes. - Mm-hmm. - Mine are shut too. - All right. - No, you know what? - The purple's probably gonna be good. - You shut your eyes, you did. - I shut my eyes, my eyes are shut. - I think they just woke me up, so I'm like, what? And then the purple light (speaker laughs) probably like. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. - This is on brand. - Yeah. - No, mine, I think my eyes are open. - Yeah, they are open. - Yeah. - All right, everyone, a constitution saving throw again, but the two of you who shut your eyes, you have advantage. - Nice! - Oh! - It's very easy. (chuckles) - Oh! Oh-oh! Good thing I have advantage. - Ah! 20, well, 19 plus 1, 20, so filthy 20, but yes. - I have 21 without it using my advantage. - Twins again, 18 plus three, 21. - Wow! - Yeah. - Seven. - Hmm, that's lower. - You want my advantage. - (laughs) (laughs) Three. - Ah, twins sort of, we're in failure. - Yeah, failure twins. (speaker laughs) - Failure twins. (speaker laughs) - All right, the failure twins. (laughs) You each take five psychic damage. - Oh! - As this blasts. And then the three of you who succeeded, you each regained seven hit points. - Ooh! - Are you kidding, what? - Eyes closed was the move. - Oh my God! - You woke me up to get screwed. (laughs) - Just like yawning, what's going? Ah! (laughs) - This is- - Twisting shapes, tentacles. (speaker laughs) - And then it suddenly stops. - Hmm. - Oh thank God. - And then a green gas is emitted (chuckles) into the room. - Ugh! - Green gas! - I'm just gonna direct you, I'm gonna direct you- - Yeah, that's- - To a wall. - Exactly what I'm doing. (speaker chuckles) - Yeah. - I have Chippy, my pickaxe- - Oh, yeah. - That does hella damage to walls, I immediately run to a wall and start hacking. - All right, you hit, go ahead and roll damage, and pick a wall. - Which wall are you going for? - This, the wall over here. - We can just leave, we could go this way. - Oh yeah. (speaker laughs) - Just go into space. - Yeah. (laughs) - We're outta here, go home. (speaker chuckles) - So when I'm hitting walls, it's 2D8 plus 1D6 of fire damage. Three. - Mm-hmm. - Five, eight. - Mm-hmm. - And then nine. - Well, and add your proficiency bonus, right? Because, or would it be your strength modifier for pickaxe? - A strength. - Add your strength modifier. - Plus five, so 14. - All right, because of the Adamantium, you do managed to break (speaker chuckles) through some of the mortar, and some of that green gas begins to vent- - Wick out. - Outward. But now I need everyone to make another constitution saving throw. - This is the worst elevator. - Do we get advantage because the gas is leaving? - Yes. - Yay! - Oh, natural 20. - Perfect. - Ooh! - I definitely need the advantage. - What are we rolling for? - Mm-hmm, constitution saving. - And you have advantage. - 21. (speaker mumbles) - Oh, 15 plus 3, so 18. - 18, that's good. - That's an eight with advantage. - Four. - With advantage? Oh no! - Any...? - I got 20. - 20. - 21. - Eight. - The Drans. - Again. (laughs) Yep, you are lucky. With this roll, you each take only one poison damage. - Oh, thank God. - But we don't like it, I mean, Bob's poison. Bobby, do you wanna keep...? - Yes. - All right, please. - I'm gonna hack away trying to get us outta here. - Okay, seven plus - That’s good. eight is what? - 15. - 15. - 15 plus two, 17. - 17 plus your... - Plus five. - Plus five. - So it's 20. - 22. - 22. - You shatter a hole in the wall right here- - Ah! - Big enough that you can go through it, and you see on the other side this vast space with the sort of lower arena area. - I don't like that word- - Mm-hmm. - Arena. - Mm-hmm. - And as you- - That's boss fight. - As you blast the wall open, you hear a feminine voice yell out, "What are you doing to my house?" (speaker chuckles) - Sorry! - But we don’t see anything? - You hear the voice coming from right over here. - Oh! - So not within view here. - I'm gonna peek in the manner of like a Scooby Doo (speaker chuckles) sort of show. I'm just gonna peek. - From the bottom, and then our heads all come up. - Yeah. - Du-du-doo-doop. - Yeah, five hands. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - You see hovering over a pile of dwarf skeletons, a beholder. - Ugh! - Good thing you peeked. - Oh! - There you go. We already know how to fight this thing, don't we? - We cannot fight that thing. (speaker laughs) - There was poison gas. - That was cut in half. - We didn't wanna die, we apologize for hurting your house. - I say just between you, me and the fence post, that elevator is not up to code. - Oh, it was a poison, it was supposed to be sleep gas, so you could rest. - Ah! - Well, listen- - Ah! - But it was sleep and then it was dark visions, and then it was poison. - Yeah. - And then it was actually like, I think more poison. - Yeah. - So there's, you need to get somebody in to look at it. - It's a lot of poison. - Oh, work crew! (speaker laughs) We need repairs immediately in the holding pen. I'm so sorry. - The beholder says to you. - Oh! - You see that the beholder- - She's great. - You see that the beholder has bows tied- - Oh yes. - Around several of her- - eye stalks. - eye stalks. - Oh! - We love this. - What color are the bows? - One is pink, one is purple. - Ooh! - And- - Yeah. - Rays. - Of the rays, yeah. (speaker laughs) - Ooh! - Green. - Yes, yes. - We love the color- - Black, probably for the death. - coordinated queen. - Yes. - Ooh! - We apologize for putting a hole in the wall, but we have to say that your bows look fantastic. - Eh! - You are far too kind, Now quickly, quickly come out. I cannot have you perishing in what was supposed to be the room of your rest. - Oh! - Oh! - I come screaming out like I like her like- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Just, hey, you know. - You can distance though. - Yeah, yeah, over here is fine. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. - Coming out (mumbles) - I'll come out, oh sure. - Over here on this side is fine. - Yeah. - But see, we... Now, ma'am, we are not entirely certain of how we came to end up in your holding pen. - Yeah. - We materialized in there. I don't know if that's some unique property of your holding pen. It handles the whole process end-to-end. - Yes, yes. - It seeks out prisoners and- - But the reality is, you're very lucky that we've ended up here, we are space cops tasked with... - (laughs) Look over, look over. (laughs) - With the safe disposal of impossibilities. And if we are here, there is something that could damage your wonderful abode. I'm looking at all this, this is very beautiful. And there could be something that makes, that ruins all this. And I just like take out like a tablet and I cast a distort value on it to make it look. And with my mouth, I go boop-boop, boop-boop, boop-voh-voh-voh! - Oh yeah. - Mm-hmm, oh yeah. (speaker laughs) All right, and I back the whole plan, I'm like mm-hmm, hmm. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - yep, see that's your problem right there. - Whoa! - Yep. - Do you have any obsidian shards in here? - Well, it's quite possible. - Oh! (speaker chuckles) - We have many who come through my rest chambers. They invite travelers in, provide rest when they're not malfunctioning. - Mm-hmm. - And then we have some recreation. - Oh-ho-ho! - And some- - Oh-oh! - Some tales are told. - Oh! Oh! - And depending upon how, how the fun and the play goes. - Ah! - Then you might go in one of the other rooms of rest or the room of farewell. (speaker laughs) - Oh! - Or the room of bye-bye forever. - Oh! (speaker chuckles) Oh! - Or the room of yum-yum times. - Oh, the wow! - These are a lot of rooms. - Wow! - Can I go to the yum-yum times? (speaker laughs) - I don't think we should go to that room. - No. - Yeah. - No? - Only after recreation can you go to bye-bye forever, yum-yum times, (speaker chuckles) (speaker chuckles) or farewell. - This is legitimately great. - Oh! - Now, yes, anyone. - You didn't mention. - You didn't mention the restroom, could we go to the- - Ooh, that's a good room. - Restroom first before recreation 'cause we could use some rest? - The restroom (speaker laughs) unfortunately was malfunctioning. - Oh, the one we just came out of? - Yes. - Could we just rest in that room for a minute? - Hmm. - No, the poison gas. (laughs) - I love her. - And at this, this door opens up, and emerging from it- - Yes. - Is a tentacled creature. - Oh, no! - Oh, wow! - It's fine if it knocks the doors off. - Yeah, ah! - I think that's actually really funny. - In fact it does knock the doors off- - Yeah. - Because it is so big. (laughs) - This is a cartoon. - And this, this- - Blah! - Otyugh comes out. - Oh, it was like, dude, this is like a, like this is like, this adventure has got the shambling mounds. It's got the Otyughs like it is- - Mm-hmm. - Popping! - Mm-hmm. - What's this thing called? - An Otyugh. - Otyugh. - Otyugh. - Hmm. - Oh my god, it's one of the- - It's kinda cute. - Most classic. - Yeah. - One of the most awesome- - Mm-hmm. - Old school like original monster manual. - He looks great. - Oh! - He looks way yucky. The old ones are very silly, I'll show you a picture. And I say, well, obviously, I mean, we're very concerned. I'm gonna raise my voice above the howling and shrieks of the Otyugh. I'm gonna say, well, I mean, I'm very concerned that some of the impossibility that my associate mentioned before may be affecting the functioning of the rooms themselves- It's probably why you got a poison gas leak and the entire room going, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop. - I think before anything happens, before anything starts, we should make sure that you're delivering a great experience, you're delivering the experience that you want to here in your home. - Well, first, my work crew. - And she nods toward the Otyugh. - He is the work crew? - This is the guy? - And you notice that in one of its tentacles, it has what looks like a toolbox. - Oh! - It's haulling it around? - And it comes. (speaker chuckles) - Oh my lord! - And as it comes over, you hear in your minds, I beg your pardon. - Mm-hmm. - So sorry it wasn't working properly. (speaker laughs) - Oh! - Hmm. - Okay, thank you so much. - Yeah, okay, thanks buddy. - I beg your pardon? - I look down at Chippy, and I say, "Hey, have you seen something like this before?" - Oh, here we go. (speaker laughs) - And chippy is silent. - Ah! - Ah! - Gotcha. - Chippy's dead. - No! - Chippy! - What do you think about that? - Chippy no! (speaker chuckles) - I’m having a crisis. - (laughs) Right to your ear. Chippy? - Is there someone else here you're talking to? - The beholder says. - I'm just very attached to my pickaxe. - I just want to make sure that I have a proper accounting of the contestants for our recreation. - Oh! - Contestants. - Contestants, we are... We've got a union job to do, simple blue collar folk. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We wanna get this obsidian shard packed up for you, so that your next contestants, imagine if they died to that poison gas, like we almost did. - Absolutely. - That's no fun for you. That's no fun for you to watch. I didn't catch your name by the way. I'm Certainty Dran, and hello. - Huh! - She- - I curtsy. - She sort of bobs in the air (speaker laughs) with her eye stalks sort of going forward, and she says, "A pleasure to meet you, I am Miss Alberty Ross. - Oh! (chuckles) - Hmm. - Cool. - Really? All right. (laughs) - Well- - Everyone's like, yeah, Jim, yeah. - You may call me Ms. Ross. - Okay. - If you're nasty. - Yeah, yeah. - Are you taken, Ms. Ross? - Yeah. (chuckles) (speaker laughs) - Taken? - Is there a Mr. Ross? (speaker chuckles) - A Bob? - I am far too busy running (speaker chuckles) Ms. Ross's arena of terror (speaker chuckles) to have a significant other. - Well, absolutely, you're married to the game. That's what I'm hearing, right? No, and listen, but I mean, but again, our concern is, obviously any small business, it really has to do with repeat customers. - Yeah. - And so our concern is that if things are not things are not moving correctly, this impossibility shard we described before, if we're not able to manage this, our concern obviously is that in the future as you're cycling through contestants- - Mm-hmm. - They're not gonna be having the experience that you intended. - I mean, first the room of rest malfunctions, then your yum-yum room malfunctions. Then what are we gonna do? And the forever goodbye, what if that starts malfunctioning? - Do you want them telling- - Now we got chaos. their friends about a yuck-yuck room that they experienced- - Yeah. - Uh-huh. - At your carnival of terror? No. - That would be... Ooh, not good, not good. - This is all we're saying. - But however, some of the help would not prefer a yuck-yuck room. In fact, there has been a petition. (laughs) - Oh! - Fridays we're turning it into a yuck-yuck room. - Everybody all right, (speaker laughs) get together. - Yuck-yuck Fridays. (chuckles) - Yeah, yuck-yuck Fridays. - Yeah. - Well, if we- - She is fucking resolute. - Yeah. - If we need to participate, I would love to see the contract she has drawn up for us as performers, and as long as the terms are fair. - First, you keep mentioning, and here she looks at you, Certainty. - Impossibility, what do you mean by that? - I'm talking far- - Where do you wanna start? - Far realm. - Far realm. - Crashing into this realm, ripping... Tell her about the last place we were at that- - Cats and dogs living together. - Where the floor ripped apart. (speaker chuckles) Tell her about that beautiful room. - No, no, no. - Created by a sealed dracana. - Well, imagine a situation- - Destroyed. - Imagine a situation- - Then one of our happy customers, by the way, you can call her up. - Absolutely. - The dracanas were very happy with our work. - No, and obviously we can offer a full client list at any time, but let's get into it. I mean, imagine a situation where, just as an example, and I step down into the... - Where to? - Arena. - Okay. (speaker laughs) - And I say- - As you do so. - Oh boy! - Oh! - This center diamond (speaker chuckles) suddenly illuminates (speaker chuckles) and red light shoots up from the floor to the ceiling, and there was sudden dramatic music that goes bum-bum! (speaker laughs) - American gladiators. - Yeah, exactly, this is gonna be a lot of fun. - Ooh! - They start cheering. - Yeah. (speaker applauds) - I'd say, I'll continue. - Yes. (laughs) - And as that dramatic music starts to swell, the pile of dwarf bones- - Oh! - Underneath her, all of the skeletons animate, and about 25 dwarf skeletons clamor up onto these bleachers over here. - Well, and the audience. - And they start cheering as you near the center of the arena. - (mumbles) Jim hears the crowd cheering, he steps down into the arena. (laughs) - And now as another contestant enters the arena, now a green shaft of light shoots up, and then there's another bum-bum. And the skeletons all cheer (audience cheers) and, you were saying? - Jim releases doves. (laughs) - Are they crystal? - Ooh! - They are. - Oh! - Crystal doves! - This is what we’re talking about. - Is the light still shining? - A crystal bird. - Yes. - When they go through the crystal - Shh-shh. - Do they prism all- - Yes. - Around the room? - Oh! - So it prisms- - Yeah, (mumbles) - All over the room. And so I need somebody to... (speaker chuckles) Here someone go ahead and roll. - You just thought you were doing something cool. (laughs) - And now you're gonna kill us off. - He's gonna fuck us with our own dick. - Well, you walked downstairs. (laughs) - I heard the applause! (laughs) - All right, he was naturally drawn to it. So as your crystal doves cause this light to bounce all over, Ms. Ross suddenly is startled. (speaker laughs) Someone roll a D10 for me. - Absolutely, I got you. - Oh! - No problem, watch this. Five. - Five. - We never saw that one. - Solid. - Oh! Does one of her rays go off? - Yeah. - Yes. (speaker laughs) So one of her rays, this is a purple ray fires at the dove, but misses, and hits the wall over there. - Yeah. - And there is sort of a purpleish glimmer on it, and then it goes away. You're not sure what that ray did. - No, well, I'm glad. I'm glad. Well, anyway, as I was saying- - What was that? (laughs) - This is just obviously- - Spectacle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. - I'm gonna fly over to sit with the audience. And when she asked, what was that? I'm like, "Oh, he's so good, you should watch it." (speaker laughs) Really amazing. - I believe. If your companions are starting the first round, you better get down there with them. - Oh, but can't I just watch with you? - I think she gets mean fast. (speaker chuckles) - Anyone who does not have a ticket is escorted to the bye-bye forever room. - Oh, okay. Evelyn hops down. (speaker laughs) - So how do we...? Since we woke up without coming here of our own volition, is how do we find a ticket? Is there a box office somewhere? - (laughs) I wanna buy a ticket. (speaker laughs) - The box office is through those large doors that are now lying on the floor. That also will have to now be fixed! - She yells. (laughs) - Oh, man! - And he's over there, he's got... His hammer is in every one of (speaker chuckles) these weird tendrils. - I would like to go in the box office and buy a ticket. - So Bobby, inside, you can see immediately where- - Thank you. - The box office is, it is this fireplace, and there are words that say box office, and inside the fireplace sitting is an Azer, a dwarf made entirely out of fire. - Oh! - Mm-hmm. - Ah! - I'd like to approach him and say- (speaker chuckles) "Hello, good sir, I see you're made of fire. My pickaxe is also (speaker chuckles) covered in flames, we share this." - That does anything for you? - Infatuation for heat. - Sweet, sweet, yeah. (speaker laughs) I was wondering, can I get a ticket, so I can watch this first round before it kicks off, I wanna get out there fast. - 200 gold. You've never seen a show like it. - Ah! - Well, so a question. So three of my friends are actually in the show. (speaker laughs) (speaker chuckles) So they told me they'd hook me up with the discount or even with a free ticket. - No, there should be tickets waiting. - We should be on the list. - You're looking for a will call. - You’re looking for will call. (speaker laughs) - Will call, maybe. - Hold please. - Mm-hmm. - He goes through (speaker chuckles) a little file. - Mm-hmm. (speaker chuckles) Your name again? (laughs) - Bob. - Bob Ross. I'm related to Ms. Ross. Distant cousin, so she doesn't even know, I'm hearing surprise actually. - That seems almost like an impossibility. (speaker laughs) - Yeah, you got some shards around here. (speaker laughs) - And he... I'm sorry, Mr. Ross, I have no record that there was a ticket waiting for you. - Cool. - This is- - I... (chuckles) - This is one of the dumbest things- - I know. (laughs) - At this point Jim is asking, if they wanna pick a card. He's like, he's just put on a show while Bob (mumbles) - Oh yeah, he's just, he's doing magic, right? - I'm- - He got the drums out and... Oh, and when even this- - How about this? - You go down. - There is a golden shaft of light that shoots up and another swell of dramatic music. - Huh, oh! - And the crowd of skeletons, they cheer. - All right, so- - We're getting very close, everyone, to starting the show. - All right, I'll trade you a water skin. - That won’t do. - You seem thirsty. Either you have a ticket, or you go into the arena, or you go to the bye-bye forever room. - I'll go to the arena. (laughs) - You come stomping up, but you have to like lower your head to get through the arch. - Yeah. (laughs) - Yeah. - Yeah. - A pink shaft of light shoots down when you enter, Bobby, and there is another cheer from the crowd. (crowd cheers) - I'm also angrily dragging my feet the way- - Yeah. (laughs) - Only a teenager does. - Yeah, exactly. - You just don't lift them at all. (speaker laughs) I take the long way around. - Yeah, yeah, long way around- - I like to say, as I'm walking past Ms. Ross- - Mm-hmm. - Beep, beep, this will reflect in your Better- - Mm-hmm. - Dungeon Bureau rating. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - I will take- - BDB, yeah. (speaker chuckles) - Part of this, but the DDB. - I only have, I can only do so much. - Yeah. - Right? I just had the one form to fill up. - This is just, like you got doors hanging off the hinges, you got poison gas, you're not respecting the badge of office. - Well, she's flexing on this, I am definitely casting a healing spell on myself. - Mm-hmm. - So that I'm not murdered the very first thing that happens here. (speaker laughs) - Yeah, very just let you know, just letting you know. - Let round one begin! And when she says this, three different rays shoot off from her eye stalks. One hits a spot of the ceiling and disintegrates it. - Oh! - Another one hits one of the skeletons and instantly turns it to stone. - Oh! - And then the other one just sort of hits this wall and just flower petals burst out. - Oh, I like that one. - Not a bad ray. - But as soon as she says this, fire erupts. - Oh no! - To block. - Hmm. - Oh no, typical. - The stairs up, and then you can see also a faint force field appears all around the upper edge. - Hmm, mm-hmm. - Everyone with the plan. - Mm-hmm. - And you look up toward the ceiling where those shafts of light were going, and the ceiling opens up, and hurdling down toward you, looks like a giant thing of Jell-O. - Oh! - Oh boy! - Before it hits, I stick my javelin there. - And so- - Oh, its landing on me. - Jim and Bobby, I need both of you to make dexterity saving throws- - Oh! - As the gelatinous cube comes falling (chuckles) down from the ceiling. - And I got a plus two. - No, that's good. - Oh, 11. - 20, natural 20. - Whoa! - Congratulations! - Nice! - You weren't even standing there. - So no- - No. - No, no gelatinous cubes for you. - Not on me. - No. - 11. - Oh! - Bobby, you- (speaker chuckles) - I pull Bobby into it. (speaker screams) - You Bobby are now (speaker laughs) inside the gelatinous cube. - Always inside something. (speaker laughs) - And next on the other side of the shaft of light. - No. - Up above. - No. - It opens up, and you hear a, ooh-ah-uh, and this undead ogre (speaker laughs) just falls. - Oh god! - From the ceiling, and just slams onto the ground (speaker laughs) with a kind of pulpy sound (chuckles) as it hits. - Ew! - Oh! - It's just a sack. - But it seems more or less okay. And then from the whole arena all around you, you hear a voice that says, "Round one, fight!" (laughs) - And I need you all to roll initiative. - I can do that. - I love it. - Good numbers. - Four plus one is five. - Well- - Okay, five minus one is four. - Aw, cute. - All right, so Omin you're at four; Evelyn, you're at five. - Yep. - You got something good here, kid? - 15 plus two, so that's 17. - Mm-hmm. - Nice! - 11 plus one is 12. - All right, so Certainty you were at 17. - Mm-hmm. - Whaddya got, Mike? - And 12 for Bobby. - Mm-hmm. - And I rolled a eight plus two is 10. - Or Jim. - I don't know if anything cool left to do. All my slots are expended, all my channels are done. - I’m sorry, what was yours? - 10. - Go in the quarter and sleep, and we'll fight. - Okay. (speaker laughs) - We'll take turns. - Good tip. (speaker laughs) Yeah. - Go sleep in one of those big fires. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - I am crystal, probably be fine. - Actually honestly, it's legit. - Yeah. - If this square is keeping me safe, can I sleep in this Jell-O? - I think it's digesting you, - It is eating you alive. - that’s the problem. - Yeah. - Oh! - There is no air in there. - Yeah, you'll suffocate in the acid as- - Jordan Sparks, no air. - No air. (laughs) - That's exactly right. (speaker laughs) - Jelly cube not great. - Hmm. But possibly edible. - Thankfully, your pick I don't think can be eaten by acid 'cause it's Adamantium, right? - That's...you think so. - You think so. - Bobby, so now that you realize that you are completely engulfed. - Yes. - By this gelatinous substance. - Yes. - You take 10 acid damage- - Oh! - From it as it- - No. - Begins digesting you. - Oh, yeah. - And you also find you can't breathe and you are restrained. - Nice. - Question, since my, sorry. - No, you go. - Since my pickaxe is on fire, is this thing taking damage immediately from being on fire from the inside. - Magical fire. - Magic, magical fire. - Not that you can see- - The mordent thing. - Yeah. - Hmm. - It's gonna start to bubble and flap. - Yeah. - Right. - It's gonna get warm in there. - So first up is this undead ogre who shambles up onto its feet and tries to clobber you, Evelyn. - Hello, nice to meet you, hey! (laughs) - It’s coming down. - Yeah. - It got only a 13 to hit. - And my armor class is 13. - Oh, so it hits you. - Yeah. - You take 13 bludgeoning damage. - Oh, ow, not nice. - And it hurls you backward- - Into the- - Into the cube. - No. - No. (speaker laughs) - I need you to make a dexterity saving throw to see if you can avoid going into the cube. - I can fly, do I get advantage? - Because if I'm airborne, I can like steer, I'm used to that. - I love what I’m hearing. - You're thrown off- - That makes sense. Right? - Enough in this case. - Yeah. - You can fly out. - This is- - J Craw’s no fun. (speaker laughs) - This is like the duo in every video game that where you get two classes that synergize perfectly together. - Hmm. - This is, these two dudes, this undead man and this gelatinous cube. - Yeah. - They have it dialed in. - Yeah, they're deck built. - Yeah. - Right, they net decked. - They know it. - It was two tens, so it didn't matter that I rolled advantage even though you said I couldn't have it. (speaker laughs) And my deck save is plus one, so 11. - You also now go into the cube and you take 10 acid damage. Hey, listen, luckily there's not a whole lot more room inside the cube. - I was gonna say, if that thing gets full mechanically, does that mean we stop fitting? - (laughs) We'll see. - Like if you can't fit anymore minis in there. (speaker laughs) - But yeah, because I'm- - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - This cube has to be pretty big, right? - Yeah. - It's spacious. - Because I'm- - I mean, look. - I’m huge. - I mean, you both are in there. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Spacious (mumbles) - Like I don't think it could fit another one. - We'll see. (speaker mumbles) - My friend, let's... (speaker laughs) - Hey! - Well, once one of you is digested completely- - Then there’s room. - More space, yeah. - Just get those bones, push them to the side of the cube. - Yeah. - I mean, as soon as some of our limbs start getting digested even. - Oh, it's gonna be a roomy there. - Yeah. - Huge savings. - Certainty, what do you do? - Mm-hmm. - First, using my bonus action, I'm gonna cast healing word on myself, which is just, “fuck!” (speaker laughs) Oh, it's not bad, so I heal for six, which is good 'cause I only had three hit points left. (speaker laughs) - It's getting bad. - Yeah. - That's what I'm hearing. (speaker laughs) - It's bad over here. Oh, heal for 60, no, six, I wish. - Ah, keep it. - Okay, and then for my action, I can only do a cantrip 'cause that was the spell, so I'm going to- - Eat a Lunchable. - Move behind (chuckles) my dad. (laughs) And shoot a ray of frost at the gelatinous cube. - Nice! - I don't wanna like hit it with something that might potentially hurt my friends. - Yeah, I was gonna say, do we have to worry about hitting the people inside the cube? - Oh, we're friends. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Aw! - I'm not sure. - Not sure. (laughs) - Who knows? (speaker laughs) - That's a 15. - You hit. - Okay. So I do five frost damage to it. - The outer surface of- - Oh! - Of the gelatinous cube, it freezes over and sort of almost looks like a Jell-O with like icy frosting on top. - Dope. So on a hit, its speed is reduced by 10 feet until the start of my next turn, so this gives the rest of us a chance to get a little bit away from it. - Slow cubes. - Mm-hmm, hmm. - That's my turn. - All right. And that did not hurt either of you who are inside. - Perfect. - Good to know. - We love that. We love that. Now, I mean, where we go next? - Bobby, what do you do? - Now you can try to wiggle out. - Mm-hmm. - And if you wanna do that, that will take your action to do it, and it's a strength check. - Oh! Well that’s great. That's great for me. Okay. - So, I mean, I never play Barb, so I don't really know what's going on with it, right? So you can flip out and rage. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - And then does that, is that what gives you the extra action? - No, so. - He's multi-classed. - Yes. - So he is getting it from fighter. - Yeah. - Oh! - But I already- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I'm just trying to figure out, is there a way for him to get out and also get a whack in on this thing? - But I think if he rages- - Mm-hmm. - He does get advantage on- - Strength checks - Some strength checks. and stuff like that. - Oh, well, there you go. - That'd be there. - Yeah, I get advantage on strength checks. - I feel like if you're gonna freak out, this is a good time. - So we're gonna go ahead and rage. - Oh! Oh, rage! (speaker mumbles) (speaker chuckles) - Okay. - And slip out. - That was his last rage. - Come on. - (chuckles) So. - Hmm. - Advantage. - Advantage. - I know, I'm just gonna, - I'm taking a second to- - Yeah, fair. - Just center yourself. - Mm-hmm. - Lathander! - Oh my gosh! - Four plus three is seven. - You do not manage to wiggle out. - Man, I really thought it was gonna work. - Yeah. - Well, yeah, I mean, mechanically you had a setup. You know what I mean? It looked right. - Hmm. (speaker chuckles) - Jim, what do you do? You can see Bobby struggling. He almost looks like someone swimming, but like- - Yeah. - Floundering. And it both, he and Evelyn look like they're having trouble breathing inside. - Ooh! - I was gonna go for the ogre, but- - It's scary. - Do I think... I'm gonna ask you a question, Jeremy? (speaker chuckles) All right? Do I believe on looking at them that there is approximately a foot or so of material between them and escape? - Like how deep are they into this thing? They're not actually that deep, I'd say, each of them is only like half a foot away. - Oh really? - Meaning like even someone could probably try reaching in and pulling them out. - Well, I'm not doing that. (speaker laughs) That sounds crazy. - That's crazy. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. - I will, however, what I'd like to attempt to do is use prestidigitation, which allows me to flavor one cubic foot of material. And I would like to flavor it like cheese. - Oh, let's go. - Right in front of Bobby. - But if you eat gelatinous- - I don't know. - Okay. - But it tastes like cheese. - Great. - Find out. (speaker chuckles) - Yum, yum, yum. - We'll find out, (speaker laughs) and then we'll go to the yum-yum room. - Mm-hmm, yum-yum-yum room. - Or the goodbye forever. - So, oh, you're there, this is the yum-yum room. - So you get inspiration for doing that. - Oh! - Ooh! - And here I will give you as, so you have a reminder of it, I'll give you one of these fancy dice. - Ooh! - So just- - Ooh! - spend that die when you wanna use your inspiration, and it'll have advantage on a roll. - Eat Bobby, eat. (speaker laughs) - And Bobby, you can...the flavor because again, you're all, it's all around you. Some of it gets in your mouth, and you can also smell it. - It's a tang of sharp cheddar. - What kind of cheese? - I'm trying to think what Bobby likes. I don't know, I'm gonna go with- - But it's the most. - A nice, maybe like a cheddar. - Hmm. - Yeah, sharp, sharp cheddar. - Hmm. - Hmm. - Yeah, aged. - Perfect. (speaker laughs) - The jaw starts moving a little bit more. (laughs) And I start to eat. (laughs) - Ah! - Biting my way with- - With advantage. - Are Evelyn and I close enough? Like when she got knocked in, are we touching? - You are not touching, but you're- - You're not far. - But you're within like an inch of each other. - Can we move our limbs close enough to each other where like we could grab hands? - Hmm, we're together. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think so too. - So we've got, we're locked by the forearm. - Mm-hmm. - Right. - Warrior grip. - Evil times. - Warrior grip, exactly. - And I'm eating, and trying to eat (speaker laughs) my way out of this. - Hah! Hah! (chuckles) - Probably not good. You know what, I'm not swallowing it because I know it tastes like- (laughs) - Let's chew in to make it much- (laughs) - But it's hard though. - But it's hard, right? - Yeah. - I can't swallow it. - Yeah. - It's okay, it's a slime tasting. - Yeah. - Yeah. - (laughs) Slime taste. - Yes, gotta spit. So always- - Slime- - Ah, just enough to move around in it though enough. And then I get out- - To get inspired. - We both get out. - Yep. - That's what I'm doing. (speaker laughs) - Well, that's definitely the intention. (laughs) - Then I get out, (laughs) and I then (mumbles) another 10. - Ta-da. - And then I win, so. (laughs) - I’ll see you guys tomorrow. (speaker laughs) - Bye. - So you begin your tasting, and we'll see where that goes. - Your tasting menu. - I didn't have much else, man, I'm sorry. - No, it's better (speaker laughs) than what I can. - I've definitely never seen anyone try to eat a gelatinous cube, I'm really curious. - You've inspired. - Yeah. - You've inspired him now. Do you wanna get the F away from this cube? - Yeah, I'm gonna move behind- - ‘cause your movement’s still real. - Certainty. (laughs) - We're just all standing behind you. - All lined up. - Really? (speaker laughs) It's just like hand to hand. - Yeah, yeah, we're all behind you. - The conga line. (chuckles) - All right, now Evelyn Marthain. - Hmm, is my turn? - It is. And after Evelyn is Omin. - So you can attack inside these things, right? I mean, I remember back in the day, it used to be the... - Yeah, there is, you're restrained, but that just means you attack with disadvantage, or Evelyn, you could try to make a strength check to get yourself out. - I'm very low on hit points, I don't wanna stay in here, I know what happens. - No, no, get him out, get him out. And there is some momentum here. - And because of the destabilization of the cheese tasting going on. (speaker chuckles) - That's right, it's up market. - You have advantage, if you make the strength check. - That sounds great. - Yeah, yeah. - Can I pull him out with me if I get out? - Oh, yeah. - Or at least like- - He is the source of destabilization. - I'd like hold his hand, so he could maybe get a little advantage next time. - You could definitely give him a leg up. - Okay. - Or more appropriately a leg out. - All right, roll to 16, or a seven. - These are strength checks. - So 16. - Right? - Yep. - Strengths save or check? - Check. - Well, it's plus four. - Yeah, it's fucked. - Ooh! - It's dirty 20. - Dirty 20. - Sweet. So the two of you working as a team, Evelyn- - You're born again. - You come out, there is a sort of slurping noise as she emerges from the Jell-O. - And, - Do you wanna get outta there? - Yeah, I want outta there real bad. - Go ahead and place yourself next to the cube on any side of it of your choice. And you manage, you don't manage to get Bobby all the way out, but you get- - Tell Bobby. - You get Bobby part of the way out. - Okay. - Space, so I can breathe. - Yeah, I've pulled this- (speaker chuckles) (speaker gasps) - That would make sense 'cause you were eating the way- - Mm-hmm. - So I'm gonna pull your face. - Okay. - Evelyn, anything else? - That was my action. - That was your action. - Let's- - Ask me a way for us to use this hot fire. - I have- - Obviously your weapons are still killing it, right? But there has to be a way to use these fire curtains. - Yeah. - On these crichoids, right? - Maybe. - Yeah, I don't know anything else I can use, all my... - Do you have control flames? - Control flames? - I don't have it prepared. Sometimes I have control flames, right now I don't have control flames. - That's all I can do. - All right, Omin? - Yes. - Your turn. - So now this, it's this arena conga line situation behind me. - This is a toughie, and I would love to solicit advice from my allies on this. This slime thing, it can devour unlimited number basically. It's just gonna keep on moving around and shoving people into it. And if they're stuck in there, they're gonna take 10 points of acid damage like all the time. - That's bad, yeah. - But this is definitely an ogre. - The ogre hasn't gone yet, has he? - It's gonna throw you in the- - Oh yeah, it did go. - In the goop. - Yeah, I mean, this is, that's his whole job. So basically, you're gonna end up inside this goop. - But what if he threw him in the goo? - Mm-hmm. - Or into the fire? - Hmm. - The goo- - Yeah. - Or the guy in the fire. - I think for me, I think that the right call for me is actually to get around behind this, so that I'm not available for him to pick up people and throw them in. - Oh! - Oh! - Hmm, mm-hmm. - Oh, that's- - Interesting! - That's a choice. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - Consider you're the meatier. And then I'm going to- - You're the meatier of the, you're gonna leave the wizards in the front line. Okay. - And then I'm going to beat- - Mm-hmm. - The slime - With my maul. - Mm-hmm. - And since it's not (speaker chuckles) sharp, it's probably better than it could be. - I'm staring at you like “don’t hit me!” (speaker laughs) - So me and Jim are hiding (chuckles) behind nothing? - Yeah, yeah. (speaker chuckles) - Well, I'm hiding behind you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Jim's fine, yeah. - So, but this is what I'm gonna do. So weapon, a flame from the... The sacred flame we were able to derive in the last adventure. So I'm definitely going to try to whack this very large cube with that. And then I'm gonna use my station as a war priest to get one additional physical attack. So let's try to do this, the only way we know how. You know what I mean? Get crazy. - Do it. - Do it, destroy it. - How do we feel about a 13, a nine that hits. - Well- - Yeah, so because he PP. All right here, so we're gonna roll our damage. And then how much is the additional flame damage? Is it just a D6? - It's a D6. - Because I never had a chance to use it last time. - Mm-hmm. - So it's, we're talking about 3D6 plus two, I mean, we don't hate that. Six. - Whoa! - Mm-hmm. - Okay. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, okay. - Hmm. - Five. - Hmm. - Okay. - Okay. - So it's 13. - Yeah. - Plus 2, 15 points. - You say so. - 15 points of damage, we love how it feels. - Is it set on fire? - It does not catch on fire, but it does like quiver separate- - Hmm. - From the pain- - Yeah. - Of not only, not only the weapon hitting, but the fire. - Yeah. - And chewing from the inside (speaker chuckles) - And also chewing from the inside. - That and then being gnawed from within. (speaker chuckles) Now, that's its own fault. So I am going to roll that second attack. Here we go. That is an 18 on the dice, - That hits. plus 4 for a 22. We will now roll 3D6, so 4 plus 6 is 10. - Mm-hmm. - Plus three is 13, plus two is another 15. - Nice! - That would just spit me out at this point. - Yeah, it's like, oh, it's not worth it. (laughs) - It again shakes in pain, but it is still alive. I mean, such as life is for- - Yeah. For such a creature, sure. - For a cube. And now it goes. Bobby? - Yeah, yeah. - You could feel the sizzling on you. Now normally at this point, you would take 21 acid damage. - 21. - But because, Evelyn, hold you part of the way out, you take only 10 acid damage. - I feel like at this point as a reaction, I'm gonna use stone's endurance. - Ooh! - Reduce damage dealt to you - By one D12 plus two. - Oh! - Ooh! - That's a good one. - Jeez! - Do you want that anymore? (speaker chuckles) - Okay. - Yeah, no more- of this, please. - I don't want that, no. - Mm-hmm. - D12- - Now there is. - You'd never get to role a fucking D12, it's so fun. - Five plus two, that's seven, so- - You take three. - Three points. - Three. - You take three damage. - Yeah. - I'm gonna put better. - I'm strong, dude. - Setting boundaries. - Yeah, fuck. - And you- - We love it. (laughs) (speaker chuckles) - As you call on your ancestral connection to stone giants, there is actually a rumble in the masonry all around you. - Mm-hmm. - This is, yeah. - And some of the lights in the arena flicker when that happens. - Tap into this. This is cool as shit. - And I'm raged, so that's probably like really bright. - Oh, I guarantee- - Cool. - That's part of it, no question. Oh, that's one thing, so when you were in the ball, you couldn't hear it, but one of the first where you could see it, but obviously you weren't physically here. - Mm-hmm. - One of the first creatures we met in the series was a stone giant. - A stone giant. - Oh! - So I think that- - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - That heritage- - Mm-hmm. - Otash! - Otash! - Yeah, yeah, Otash Katan, I think that- - I dunno if you know each other. - Yeah- - Probably, we know. (speaker laughs) - Actually that's weird to ask. (laughs) But what I would say is (speaker chuckles) that there's probably is that- (speaker chuckles) - Distant relation. - Any time you're getting that type of- - Response. - What is it called, a pop? - Yeah. - Anytime you're getting that type of pop, like from the literal environment, we have to try to ring this up for all it's worth. - Yeah. What other stone stuff do we have? - Yeah, I got a bunch of rock shit. - Yeah. - Let's get crazy. - Yeah. - You also, as that ancestral power protects you and everything shakes, you have this strange, it's like this ping goes out from you, and you can feel the stone around you almost as if it were a body. - Oh, where? And you can feel- - Hmm. - You can feel that there is something sick in the stone, and it is over in- - Corruption. - In this culvert. - Ooh, yep. - Listen, we have access to it, that's not outside the arena. - Would you say that Jim and I are currently made of stone? - Oh, crystal. - Is crystal not a stone? - Is crystal not a stone? - So I guess so. - Okay, just, I mean- - You tapped into. - Yeah, I mean, it seems like that would be important to know. - Yeah. - It still damaged me, the cube though, right? - Oh, absolutely. - Oh! (speaker laughs) - Just checking. - Yeah, it's a special asset, all right? - All right. So I guess that you also would know something about Jim and I, like our location. - Yeah. - Or something I would assume. - Mm-hmm. - You know about their dreams. - I sense the both of you are in Round one of this arena. (laughs) - I'm wondering how many rounds there are, I would like to ask. - Yeah. - The lady. - (laughs) Yeah. This would be a great time to ask. (speaker laughs) Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am, beholder. - Yeah. - This is the beholder. - And it moves five feet. The two of you, if you want can take opportunity attack. - Yes, I do. - Yeah, that's absolutely what we're gonna do, get him. - Uh, six plus six, 12. - I mean, it might be okay. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Nice! Also if it moved away- - It's AC is trash. - Yeah. - If it moved away and I was holding onto Bobby, did it pull away from Bobby? - Is Bobby born? - Like can I strength check? - Again. - So now, now even more- - Oh! - Of Bobby is exposed, but so now Bobby is... You're sort of like holding (chuckles) onto Bobby, and Bobby your feet are still stuck (chuckles) inside- - Oh! - The gelatinous cube. - My... Okay. - I do five plus four, nine damage. - All right, now I'm gonna try to do something very similar. I'm looking for the big roll. That is a 13 plus 4 for 17, 3D6 plus two damage, experience it. Two plus four, six, plus six is 12. - Ooh! - Ooh! - 14 points of damage. - Jeez! - Nice! - That’s really good damage. - Impressive. - So every time this maul hits it, it just like flows through the entire. - Yeah-ah-uh! - And the fire, it catches for a split second. - Okay. - On the surface, and the outside of the cube is beginning to scorch. - Oh! - I forgot that I do an extra D6 fire damage. - Yeah. - So now you- - Absolutely, you do. - Five more. - Ooh! - Mm-hmm. - It is still alive, but also it's form is starting to degrade. - Also less of a cube. - It is less of a cube, and it is turning into more of a lump. - A mound. - Hmm, oh! - A gelatinous lump. - A gelatinous lump. - Gelatinous lump. - That was my nickname in high school. (laughs) Yeah. - And so then- - Oh-oh! - Biggie goes. - This, yeah. - And- - Biggie Smalls. - Steps over here. - We just have to do this. - And Certainty. - Okay. - Mm-hmm. - Tries to hurl you into the gelatinous cube. - Oh! - But that might actually do enough damage to it to kill it, so. - Yeah. - Ooh, it got a 20. - (chuckles) Oh my gosh! - Oh, no! - Hey, bud! - A nat 20? - It got a nat 20. - Oh, okay. - And so- - The fire is gonna be good against the undead of that. - That- - That's true. - All right, because of the crit, that's 13 bludgeoning damage. - Yeah, I'm out. - And you are hurled toward the cube. (speaker chuckles) And since you are knocked out, that means you're gonna automatically fail. - We fail a death save. - No, you'll fail the dexterity saving throw, so. - Oh! - Oh, no! - So you got a chance of not going in, but nope- - Okay. - Now you are also inside the cube. - Okay, okay. - The lump. - Yeah. - The lump. - Is all of her inside of the lump, since there's not a lot of space left since it's dying? - All of her is in there, and rather than taking more damage when you go in, you just fail a death save. - That's what I was saying. - Oh yeah. - Does that- - Yeah. - That's why I said, I failed a death save. - Yeah, yeah. - Right, yeah. - So we gotta kill this thing fast. - Yeah. - Get her out, and then we gotta go look at this hole. - Mm-hmm. - See what's going on in there. - I got a little plan. - And you were asking Ms. Ross a question. - Yes. (speaker chuckles) I heard “Round one” (speaker laughs) when this started. I'm just curious. - In the show version of this, this is so funny 'cause she's got a flung in. - Yeah. - We're hitting them, you're like, "Miss..." - I'm sorry, is this... How many rounds are we looking at here, just total? - As many rounds as you survive. - Oh! - When do we get to- - Okay. - Go to the rooms? - If you survive Round one, you'll go to the yum-yum room. - Oh! - Okay. - Oh, okay. - Okay. - So that like- - To get ready for round two. (speaker chuckles) - Okay. - Yeah, no, I can't wait. - Nope, one's good for me. - All right. - Who is up? - Yeah. - All right, the ogre zombie just sort of looks around strangely confused. - Mm-hmm. - You're not sure why. Certainty, your turn, so death saving throw. - That's a six. - Oof! - So Certainty already has two failures. - Yes. - This is not good. - I'm on my last one. - Bobby? - It's a big day for Bobby. - I am only boots in. - Yes. - Yeah. - When she got flung in. - Uh-huh. - Can she see me? - Yes. - Well, no, she can't. - She’s unconscious. - I'm out. - She's unconscious. - Oh yeah. - Unconscious. - Yeah. - But you can see her in there. - Am I, so- - Out. - As a barbarian. - Mm-hmm. - Am I strong enough to... Since only my feet are in there, am I strong enough to wiggle my foot to hook around a body part of hers? And as I try to pull myself out, pull her with me. - Yes, so take your feet to her like- - With your... - Yeah. - Yeah. (chuckles) - With your position, I was gonna give you advantage on the role to get yourself out. - That's great, I should have that, yes. (speaker laughs) - But what I will let you do is- - I deserve it. - Just do this as a regular role without advantage. And if you succeed, you bring Certainty with you. - This is it now, but you're still raged, right? - So you always have advantage. - So you always have. See, that's his secret. - That's my secret. - Right? - But you don't have it now, you have disadvantaged- - Ah! - That's canceling it out- - Yeah. - Because you're- - We've had this conversation - Trying to get someone else. - Yes, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. But listen, but it is so fly, like this is the best. - Uh! - If this happens, it's like- - Ugh! - Legendary status. I think it's permanent. - Mm-hmm. - Like this is really cool. - Okay, okay. Making sure that's the best move we got. Yeah, good. All right, okay. - Are you looking for strength? - Yep. - Okay. - You can do it. - Okay, here we go. - You can do it. - 19 let’s go! - Ooh! - Yes. - Oh! - That's a 22. - Big hole. - Get your ass out this jail. (laughs) - It's a leg out. - Get the legs hooked around her. (speaker laughs) I put my, I dig my... - When we come out, can our like hair be (laughs) all like? - Oh, we're disgusted. - It's just a muck. - So if I see that there's cracks- - I feel like it's slicked back. - Yeah. - My fingers are in the cracks of the floor and- - Oh, I have your, here- - Okay, you got my arm still? - Yeah. - Yeah, I guess so. - Oh, perfect, so then we're locked. - I'm pulling, I've got my legs wrapped around Certainty. - This is like all core. - Yeah. - Yeah. (speaker chuckles) - And it's just a big ab workout, just. (speaker making weird sound) (laughs) (speaker mumbles) - So this is gelatinous cube as home gym. - Yes. - Yeah. - Right. - Good use. - And look at the results. (laughs) - It's incredible. - You too could have abs like this. - Yeah. - Bobby, go ahead and place you and Certainty wherever next to the the lump. - Oh, the lump. - No, that was his action. I mean, technically he still has his move, right? - He still has his move. - Yeah. So probably going to- - You can check out that hole if you want. - That's what I was gonna do. Because there's nothing I can do- - Oh, yeah, she's- - For Certainty right now 'cause I don't have- - Mm-hmm. - Cool power. - Now you do risk moving away from the gelatinous cube. - It making an- - Oh! - Opportunity attack. - Yeah. - God, and- - Suck me back in. - What you should do, just? - Swing on it. - Yeah, swing on it. - Imma swing on it. - Yeah. - Fucking hit it. - Swing on it. - Hit on it, hit with that hot pick. - Hop on up in your guts, and I don't like it. - If you have a bonus action that you can use to do that 'cause your action is spent. - Oh, this is fair. - Ah! - Um, well, if I was resting... Well, I was technically resting in there, right? - Oh yeah. (speaker laughs) - No you were not. - To be fair. (speaker laughs) - Okay, yeah, I think I'm all burnt up. - Bobby is like listening to spa music in there. (speaker laughs) - And, yeah. - You probably don’t want to risk it, right? You don't wanna risk it. - A question, can I...? I have second wind, once per short rest, you can use bonus action to regain 1D10 plus 2 HP. Is that, that's something that I can use right now? - No, it's actually legit, yeah. - Yeah, mm-hmm. - I'll do that because I can't- - Mm-hmm. - Do it, and I don't wanna- - Yeah, yeah, just get pumped back up. - Okay, boom, 1D- - D10 plus 1? - Plus two. - Hell yeah. - Nice! - Four plus two is six. - Hey, that's not nothing. - It's a number of the beast. - Six is your fortuitous number. - Six is working, it's been good to us so far. - Okay. And with that, I concede my time. (laughs) - No, I yield the rest of my time in the chair. - I yield my time to the chair. - Jelly cube. - The ogre hasn't been hit yet. - Fresh ogre. - It has been hit by falling from the ceiling. - Oh my God, yeah. (laughs) - But otherwise it has not been hit. - They look like they have the slime dealt with, so I'm gonna step right in front of the ogre and throw the cape back. - Oh! - Whoosh! - Hands in front of me, and give them one of these little things. (laughs) But I'm casting, (speaker laughs) I'm casting hideous laughter. (speaker laughs) - Nice! (speaker laughs) - So he has to beat a wisdom 13 or he finds this fucking hilarious. (laughs) - But like in a crazy way. - Yeah, he like- - Yeah. - He sees that thumb come off and he's like, what the fuck? (laughs) What the fuck? - The kind of laugh that's almost a panic attack. - No, no, it is. - That's what it is. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. (chuckles) (speaker gasps) - Oh yeah, he does not succeed in this, he will fall prone and become incapacitated and unable to stand up for the duration. A creature with intelligence score of four or less isn't affected. I don't know how- - Oh-oh, uh-oh! - I guess, the- - I shouldn't have read that first. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) To understand the joke. - I'm not sure if he's that dumb. - Well, that's why I tried to make it simple, right? - Yeah. - Like something that- - So they know about thumbs. - They know about thumbs. - Yeah! - How to do that, Jeremy? - The magic trick, the spell, it's all topnotch. - Yeah, yeah. - But this thing has an intelligence of three. (speaker laughs) - No! It doesn't understand thumbs. (speaker laughs) - It just drools at you. - No. - This is my best material. - It looks glassy-eyed (chuckles) at you, and just some drool drips- - Oh! - And hits the floor. (laughs) - That was a good trick. - All right, on the shoe. That's a hit on the shoe. - That sucks. (speaker laughs) Do I have anything in my...? Oh, she's not over by me anymore, Certainty isn't. Okay. - Okay. - In a real pickle. - Cool. - Good to know. - Yeah. - Good to know. - Yeah. - I mean, that was an action so. (speaker chuckles) - And now you're in melee with him. - Evelyn, what do you do? - I'm gonna keep hitting the cube. - Will advantage help me at all in that, or this thing you gave me, this magic dice? God bless it. (laughs) Daggum it. Daggum it. (speaker laughs) Here, now you kill this cube. - I'm trying the lump, gotta go, two. That one probably doesn't hit. - What's your total? - Two plus six is eight. - You hit. - Hurray! - Oh! - I guess it is, I guess it is goof, yeah. - So to really drive home how trash, it's AC is. - Yeah. - It has an AC of six. - Oh, okay, great. - Okay. - Well, I rolled a max on the die, eight plus four for my base damage is 12. - Yeah. - Plus my fire damage, one- - Mm-hmm. - 13 for my first hit. - Hmm. - It is a mess now. It's gone from a lump to now a sort of several lumps as it- - Ugh. - It's like, - It's starting to break down. - It's breaking down. - Ooh! - But it's not vanquished yet. - It is not. - One more. - It's vanquishable. - One more hit. - Hit. - Nine on the dice. - You hit. - So that's a hit. - Base damage of two plus four is six plus four fire damage, 10. - You destroyed it. - Now it's done. - And there it as, as it begins to disintegrate, it goes from mound to many little mounds. And then there's like, you're not sure what triggers it. It's like the outer film that holds it. - The surface tension. - The surface tension just gives, and then it just turns into this cheddar cheese smelling- - Oh! - Slope. - Liquid that splortches all over the stone floor. - Oh! - And as it flows, and you can tell because of its flow that this floor is not level. - Oh! - Some of it- - Already warped. - Some of it flows into here. - Mm-hmm. - Bobby, were you sense something off. - Amiss. - And there is a sort of black light kind of illumination- - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Inside, and as that happens, Ms. Ross goes, "I have a new idea." - (chuckles) Oh, no! And she, before your very eyes sprouts another eye stalk. - Ugh! - Oh! - Mm-hmm. - Oh, no, this is impossibility. - This is impossibility. - No, no, no, it has taken root here. - And it has a green ribbon on it. - Uh-oh! - Green ribbon. (speaker chuckles) - She gonna start spraying ooze juice at us - There’s gonna be more. - outta one of the stalks? - Poison. - It's a cheddar ooze ray. - Yeah. (speaker chuckles) - Poison. - Oh! - Omin, what do you do? - Certainty is one death- - No, no, no- - save failure away from- - I like run over- - the big goodbye. - Run over, like slide on the ground. - In the cheese. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, through the slop. (speaker laughs) And I immediately like unclasp like her bag, her sort of ledger bag, and fish out like as fast as I can. I'm finding one of the iron vials- - Hmm. - That we got from the last adventure. - Mm-hmm. - That, an identification told us were potions of healing. And I pop the top like, like arm around her shoulder, like cradle her up and just pour it straight down into her throat. - All right, go ahead and roll the dice. - Now that's a two. How many is that these days? (speaker chuckles) - Oh yeah, I just wrote down potion of healing, but we didn't know what it was. - Ah, so that would be the potion of healing in the player's handbook. - Yeah, the classic, right? - Yeah. - I just forget how many D8 is. - That's the baseline, probably four of them. (speaker laughs) - It's probably like eight. - Four of them. Eight sounds right to me- - Yeah. - When I looked last- - So you're gonna roll 2D four plus two. - Eh! - Eh! - 2D four. - Three. - That's not bad. - Hmm. - Four. - That's really not bad. - So three plus four plus two is nine. And also you're not dead. - And also not dead. - Which is really the big thing. (speaker chuckles) - Yeah, that's the main concern. - That's the key player really. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - And I don't want her to have anymore ideas, is what I'm saying. - Yeah, yeah. - We have to get the fuck outta here. - What idea? - Well, no, she... (laughs) Here, so the- - Why do I feel like I just bathed a McDonald's Sprite? (speaker chuckles) (laughs) - She is growing new eye stalks. - Oh! - Just she had an idea and now she has more eyes, we have to get out. - Oh! - Ideas. - Oh! (laughs) - Hope. (laughs) Anyway, so that was my turn. - Okay. - I mean, I guess, in this game, you can't do a partial move, do an action, and then continue your move, can you? - You can? - You would know here that I am gonna go (speaker chuckles) over to the slop, and once we have had our father-daughter moment- - Mm-hmm. - I am continuing- - Ooh! - To move over, and I just reached my hand, like literally down into this grease trap and feel around for this chunk of obsidian that I hope is in there. - So you reach and it's all slimy- - Oh, that's horrible. - But with your dark vision- - Yeah. - You can see that there is a stone like shape 'cause remember your dark vision is- - Yes. - Black and white. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so it is a dark shape reminiscent of the other obsidian pieces that you've gone for. - Yeah. - And it is just out of your reach. - Ah! - But the two-handed maul that's got quite the haft. - Hmm. - I'm gonna basically stick it in over the back of it and just drag it toward me like through the muck. - So you start that. - Yeah. - But we'll see next turn. - Of course. - Yeah, yeah, I got a lot of stuff outta that turn, for sure. (speaker chuckles) - And at the drama of you reviving Certainty, the skeletal audience cheers. And Ms. Ross says, "Oh, so heartfelt, (speaker chuckles) such feelings." (laughs) - Okay, so who's next? - My God, I don't wanna, I don't wanna like her. - Hopefully not the ogre. - It's the ogre. (laughs) - Well, listen, now there is no more gelatinous cubes to throw you into. Now there are two curtains of- - Of flame. - Of living flame. - Yeah. - That could be an issue. - How much HP do you have? - I have- - Probably 11. - I've got nine. (speaker mumbles) (speaker laughs) - For like 13 last time. - So, Jim? - Yeah. - As it continues to look at you. - (laughs) Yeah, he's like, (speaker laughs) you're like, oh shit, look at my thumb, it’s gone. (speaker laughs) - Huh, how's it happened? (speaker laughs) - Who knows? You can't do that with your thumb. - As it continues (chuckles) to look at you with its glassy eyes, it just turns away from you. (speaker laughs) - It's like, this is not worth it. - Looks directly at you, Omin. - What? - Fishing around- - No. - In that culvert and charges over toward you. Jim, you can actually - Oh thank Jesus. take an opportunity attack as it barrels towards Omin. - With what? Do I just hit him with my wand? (chuckles) - You could slap him. (laughs) - Give him a, just kick him. (speaker laughs) I'm gonna give him a slap on the ass as he runs away. - Good day! (laughs) - A hard one. - Yeah. - Boy, I got a 19. - Nice! - You did. So give him a little Christmas goose as he runs away. - Don't goose him. - Yeah. (laughs) - Just two fingers. - Now here's the- - That's not it. - Here's the funny question, what's your strength modifier? - Oh, it's minus one. - Oh! - All right, he's healed. - So you deal zero damage, so it really is a good game. (laughs) Okay, yeah, I know I- (laughs) - Go get ‘em, Tiger! - Good job, buddy! (speaker laughs) Keep it up! - Is this ogre thing naked? - It has a loincloth. - It has sort of scraps. - Yeah- - Mm-hmm. - That was up to my wrist. - Do they get embarrassed (speaker laughs) by being naked? - They must, or else they wouldn't wear this stuff. - Right. - That's a good point, yeah. - Yeah, there must be some modesty there. - Unless it's like a leftover from when they were alive. (speaker chuckles) - Yeah, it could be. - No. - He has one- - Oh, that's right, he is undead too. - Oh, yeah. - And (chuckles) as you were having this conversation- - Mm-hmm. - In the arena, Ms. Ross says, "Oh, we dress them. (speaker chuckles) We find some contestants are too distracted if there is not some modesty coverings." (speaker laughs) - Oh! - Ah! (speaker laughs) - It’s like a baby’s arm down there. (speaker laughs) - Damn! (indistinct chatter) - Yeah. (speaker chuckles) - Just not looking at him, but he's gonna find you. - Yeah, I don't even know about it here. Let's just get me scooted- - Oh! - Further over, just so that it is even sillier. (speaker laughs) - Okay, so I rolled in 19. Yeah, so, Omin- - Oh! - As you are desperately trying (chuckles) to reach the obsidian shard, there is this sudden (speaker chuckles) big shadow behind you. (laughs) And the rest of you see the ogre, Captain Kirk Style, bring the two- - Oh! - Fists down. - No! - Oh! - Oh no! - Oh, but it's very slippery over here, I'm trying to do it. - Yeah. - Oh, think about all the slime. - (mumbles) yeah. - Oh, remember the surface tension. - And he was charging. it's almost a soapy residue. - Yeah. - And obviously that's charging recklessly, I'm sure. - Yeah, yeah. - You take 13 bludgeoning damage. - Ah! - Good lord! Do you have anything left? - What did he roll? - 19. - 19. - As he did well. - Its total to hit was 25. - Oh! - 15, you said? - Uh-huh. - Okay. - Are you still conscious? - Yeah. - Oh, nice! And you are also slammed against the wall, so instead of being hurled into the cube. - Yeah. - You are slammed into the wall and you fall prone. - Oh! - Oh yeah, I mean, I already thought of myself as being prone, so. - Eh! - Because I thought I was like on my hands and knees like- - Yeah. - Yeah. - Trying to get shit outta the thing, so. - I mean, if you get in there, maybe he can't follow you though 'cause he's so big. - This is the fantasy. - Yeah. - This is the fantasy. - Just wriggle on in there. - Get in there. - Yeah, that's the- - Yeah. - Yeah, it's sewer goals. You know what I mean? (speaker chuckles) - Certainty, what do you do? - Mm-hmm. - I stand up, I'm very tired. (speaker chuckles) - Sleepy girl. - Stand up. - Look at Bobby, this is a horrible. (chuckles) - I know. That's it, we're almost done. (speaker chuckles) It's okay. (speaker chuckles) - And I'm going to, I hope this thing is not very- - Tough. - It can't be- - He's very big, so he's gonna be easy to hit, and he's gonna have a little bit of a HP pool, I think, but ultimately you can outsmart him. - I'm gonna try to, I hope he doesn't hit you again, so I'm gonna cast vicious mockery. I don't know if he's smart enough to do, It doesn't say that it's incumbent on their intelligence. - It has no limitations. - Yeah. - Well, even very, very dumb creatures don't like to be made fun of. - Yeah, so I'd say, Jim thinks it's a baby's arm, I've heard it's a pinky. - Oh! - Oh! - Oh! - Oh! - So that's just your- - You wear that 'cause there's nothing down- - Yeah, yeah, I heard your rotten pecker (speaker mumbles) rotted off years ago. (speaker laughs) - Oh! (speaker laughs) - And that it's a wisdom save. - Wow! - Long story short, wisdom save, that's. (laughs) - My God! - I rolled a natural 20. - Ugh, he thinks you're wrong. - He's very confident. - He's like, you know what? - He's like, actually I'm hung like a horse. - He lifts the loin cloth and smiles. (laughs) - What you're talking about, girl? (laughs) - Omin, from your vantage point, (laughs) lying on the ground at his feet- - Yeah. - Oh, no! (speaker laughs) - You see just how wrong Certainty was. (laughs) - You see the shadow just over. (laughs) - Oh! (laughs) - Yeah, yeah. The shot in this show doesn't show that, we just see that silhouette. (laughs) It's holding a club too. - No, no, your eyes, exactly the eyes widen. (speaker laughs) - Oh God! - All right. - Okay, I was gonna try to give him disadvantage, but that's- - I would have loved that. Yes. I mean, what's next? - Bobby? - Kill him. - And after Bobby is Jim. - Okay, so I'm thinking of something. How much bigger is this over than I am? - So you're medium, and it's large. - But I'm still real strong. - Yeah. - Did we skip me? - You can wrestle him. You trying to wrestle him- - Yeah. - With this fire? - Did we skip Evelyn? - No, Evelyn's after you. - Oh, okay, so yeah. - No. No, 'cause throwing him into fire is gonna do fire damage, but we already did fire damage with our weapons. - True, true. - Mm-hmm. - Just beat on him. - Hmm. - I'm going to charge him, and since he is fixated on Omin, I'm gonna stab him in the side of the face. - Actually, you know what, I'm not gonna stab him inside of the face, I'm gonna stab him in the loincloth area. (speaker laughs) - (laughs) Yeah. - (chuckles) Loincloth area. - Because he's gonna go, he is over here showing off to my friend. - Yeah, exactly, he's flexing. - It's weird. - You can flex something else. - That's a very specific called shot. - Yeah, it is. - Well, yeah. - I mean, he called a shot by showing us. - Yeah, exactly. (laughs) - Negative 10. - He said, here's my weak point. (speaker laughs) - Negative 10. (laughs) - And it's flashing purple. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like you have to take advantage. - Since he has openly declared (speaker laughs) his weak point to us, (laughs) I have advantage. Do I not? - We're honor bound to strike. (laughs) - Yes. (laughs) - Sure. (laughs) I'm gonna give it to you. - We're honor bound. - Yeah. - Boom, 14, and that's supposed to be, isn't that 17 or...? - Yeah, I'll take that 17. - That's a hit. Boom, hit. - It's AC by the way is almost as bad as the gelatinous cube. - Oh, okay. - Perfect. - That's not his advantage. His advantage is that he's tough as hell and he'll kick the shit out of you. - Apparently. - Oh, yeah, and he is also a packing heat. (speaker laughs) - Okay. (laughs) - Horrible. - Okay, here we go. So every time I roll, since I'm rage, it's plus two for every roll, right? - Yep. - Okay, perfect. - And then a question. So my other weapons, they're not in my hand. I have one weapon in my hand, which means that's another plus two for dueling because I'm a fighter too, so it's plus four really. Perfecto, okay, D8, four plus four is eight. - True, I think he's right. - Mm-hmm. - Plus five is nine, plus four is 13, and then plus one D6 of fire damage is two plus four. - Oh, so the plus four is on just the whole attack. - Okay, then okay. - Okay. - Not on each die. - Well, then I, I forgot my numbers then. (speaker laughs) - Oh! - Get a four and a five. - Four and a five, nine plus two is 11. - Then plus the four. - Then plus four. - So 15. - 15. - Nice. - So we'll get there together as a team. - Math. - As a team. - As a space team. - I think I try to do the plus two on my roles every time we play. - I want you to do that. - I try to do it every time. - Continue to do it. - Because one of these times, it's gonna go through. - It's gonna slip right through. (speaker laughs) - Mm-hmm. - We have to be on this team. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - You know what I mean? - Mm-hmm. - Anyway, so that's not, that's nothing to sneeze at. - Yeah. - So especially it's a tender region. - And so, there is no shadow there anymore. - Huh! - Oh! - Oh! - Oh no! - Well, it's gone. - And it, for the first time you see actually an expression 'cause before it's just glassy. - Yeah. - Even when it fell from the ceiling and hit the floor. - Yeah. - No expression. - But now that you've shredded its phallus. (speaker laughs) It looks just for a moment, just a look of confusion. (speaker laughs) - Mm-hmm. - Wouldn't anyone? - And then, and then- - Yeah, right, fair. - And then it goes back to just totally glassy eyes. - Oh really? - Yes. - But there was a moment there. - Really- - You got through. You got through. - I'd say, you don't do that to any of my friends. And then I'm done 'cause I burned all my stuff 'cause I can't rest. (speaker laughs) - Yeah, we're tuckered out. (speaker chuckles) - Mm-hmm. - I'm finished. - Jim? - Well, I'm gonna use catapult. I wanna fling the shard into this thing's forehead, like I wanna like catapult it out of the hole it's in right into this guy's face. - So you unfortunately can't see it with your human eyes. - I can't. Oh, with my human eyes. - Omin- - Damn my human eyes. (laughs) - There must be something around here you can fling it at. - I think the piece (chuckles) that Bobby just got. - Oh, no! - God! - (laughs) Oh, no! - Could I...? (laughs) - Mike is like, there is corpse matter on the floor. (laughs) - Corpse matter. - I would like to catapult it- - Mm-hmm. (speaker chuckles) - Directly into his face. - Mm-hmm. - Oh my God! - Like an arrow (speaker chuckles) right between his eyes. - Well, not like an arrow exactly. - Yeah. - Like a- - Well, I have to assume that when he died, rigor mortis set in. - Absolutely. (speaker chuckles) - And this projectile is- - Instantly, instantly. - Like a spear. - It's rigid. (speaker laughs) - Yeah. - I mean, it's oak like. - Turgid. - Yeah. - Three, four feet long. - Turgid. (speaker laughs) - It's a spear, essentially. - Yeah. (laughs) - So, yeah. - Yeah. - I would like to just javelin this (laughs) prong right between his eyes. - Oh! - I mean, that's piercing damage, right? - Oh, so, so hard. (speaker laughs) - Attack, save his dex, his dex, it's 13, he's got a 13. - I bet that he does not have a good dex. - Let's hope he does not have a great dex. - I'm not, he's undead and he’s an ogre. - His ding dong is coming right at him. (speaker laughs) - I got a nine. - Oh, wee wee to the face. (laughs) - So how much damage does it did? (speaker laughs) - His dick is gonna do four D8 damage. (laughs) - Are you kidding? - No, I'm not kidding. (laughs) It's really was substantial. (laughs) - Catapult. - It does a what? - Catapult does four D8 damage. - Oh my God! - Oh my God! - You're really wrong about it. - When an object strikes something, the object and what it strikes each takes three D8 bludgeoning damage. (speaker chuckles) - So you upload that too. (laughs) - Yeah. - Oh, no! (laughs) - Three plus five is eight, plus Jack dice plus seven. - Oh my God! - 15. - 15. - 15. (speaker laughs) - Dick damage. (laughs) - And then so hits into the face and then it explodes in front of his face. - Yes. - It hits him, and then it pops. - Yes. - It bursts. - Yes. (laughs) - So as that corpse matter. - I just want to apologize. - Yeah. (laughs) I thought I was inviting you here for a different purpose. - Yeah. (laughs) - Nope. - We're filming pornography. (laughs) - My parents are watching this one. (speaker laughs) - Do you know Ms. Ross loves this. - Oh, yeah. - She's getting cranked. - She loves it. - She's gonna grow another eye. - She's never seen anything like this. - That's gonna be bad. - We don't wanna see this ray. - We're going straight to the yum-yum room after this. - Yum-yum- - Ah, yes. - And when you think of (laughs) Ms. Ross, you... (laughs) So as this happened, and the glassy-eyed zombie actually sheds a single tear. Oh, can we imagine? - Oh! - It's dealing with some shit. - Yeah. (speaker laughs) - Ms. Ross with apparently an eye socket that she must have sprout at some other point, that is down below reaches around. It's an eye socket by the way that has the eye, but then a hand, and it has a monocle. - Oh my! (laughs) - And as this is going on, (laughs) she is watching. - Wants her better look. (laughs) - The impossibility factor of this place- - Yeah. - Is through the fucking roof. - Yeah, yeah. (speaker laughs) It's a lot of impossibility- - That's a wild ride- - Happening, yeah. - And she is now right there. (laughs) - I don't wanna miss a thing! - The skeletons behind her like- (indistinct chatter) - We paid for these seats. (speaker laughs) - 400 gold, or whatever. (speaker laughs) - Evelyn, (chuckles) your turn. - Okay, I'm little, so I wanna fly up and like perch on his back. - Oh! - That worked way better than- - Yes. (laughs) - Yeah. - Yes. - And I wanna take my battle axe and hold either side of it and press my feet against his shoulders- - Oh my God! - And the battle axe into his neck. - Curb stomp. - Well, that got- - Mm-hmm. - Jesus! - I gotta put him out of his misery, man, quick. - Yeah. - Ratatouille style. - Wow! - Yeah, yeah. (chuckles) (speaker laughs) What do I roll for that? - Turn him around. - Go ahead and do a strength athletics, and you have advantage for flying up there and- - It's pretty surprising. - For how I balance my mini? - Yeah. - First try. - All right, first roll is a 13. That was almost a one that was really scary. And a 13. - Hmm. - Two 13s, (speaker mumbles) plus my strength check. - Athletics. - Strength athletics. Mm-hmm, hmm, mm-hmm. - Oh! - Plus four, so 17. - Mm-hmm. - You are successful. And now go ahead and roll your weapons damage. It's an axe, right? - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Just so instead of doing the normal slashing damage, you can do it as bludgeoning damage as essentially you- - Okay. - You try to choke it out. - Cool. One plus four is five, plus my fire that's on the axe. - Oh, yes. - Mm-hmm. - Is five. What did I just say? Five and five, 10. - Yeah. - There is a kind of a choking sound. - Makes sense. - But it is still alive. - That is technically a melee attack. So do I get to pull it again? - Yeah. - Cool. - Two attacks, right? - Yeah, yeah. - Ugh! (speaker laughs) - Dark Evelyn. Yeah, it's a big turn. - Do I need to roll for it? - Yeah. - Okay, well, I have advantage, right? 'Cause I'm already here. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, cool, good 'cause (chuckles) that was five. - Mm-hmm. - That's even- - Well, five plus six is 11. - You bet. - Okay, great. - His ACs are- - Yeah. - It's trash AC is eight. - Yeah. - All right. - He's going through a lot right now. - Base damage, - He is dealing with- (speaker laughs) - Yeah, he really is. - Base damage is two plus four is six, plus a D6, which is three is nine. - All right, Evelyn, as you do this, and that single tear now drops off its chin. - And sizzles in the fire. - It's glassy eyes just darken and it falls down dead. - Oh! - Hey, be in the light. Be in the light. (speaker chuckles) Go free. - And at this, the crowd erupts in applause. - Oh yeah. - We're giving them something special- - Yeah. - And Ms. Ross throws the monocle down on the ground and brings out from behind her another eye stalk hand. (laughs) And she applauds and says, "That was one of the best rounds I've seen in weeks." (speaker chuckles) - Yum-yums. - "You have earned a stay in the yum-yum room." And at this, all of her eyes, including the ones on her hands, all blink, and the fires wink out as does the force field that you could see on the upper part of the ring. - I think that if there's any chance we could rest before we grab the obsidian- - Yeah. - Then we should try to take it. - Yes. - What obsidian are you talking about? - I didn't say, I said a citizen. Before we grab another citizen like this one, and murder them for your entertainment. - And I nod, I'm like, (speaker chuckles) yeah, that's definitely a real thing. - Evelyn finds herself lying and does not know what's happening. - Yeah. - Because she's hung out with Omin too long. - She's been choking them out- - Yeah. (chuckles) - And then she's cutting them in shit, she's going crazy. - Well, you did so well. I might have you skip Round two after the yum-yum room and go straight to Round three. - That sounds great. - Love that. - And fight my sister. - That's amazing. - Oh, no, what's her name? - Miss Daisy. - Oh! - Oh! - Does she need a driver? - Hopefully, she's as kind as- (laughs) - Which of these rooms is the yum-yum room, ma'am? - Yeah. - Right over here. - And she indicates this room. - Hmm. - Right above where- - Here, do I kick in the door of the yum-yum room waving the four-four? - Hey, we got it. - We gotta- - Here now- - We'd love to go in the yum-yum room. - We'd love- - Yeah, no, exactly, no, no. It's like, I make a big play of it down here. Like I need, I'd say, certainly I'm not as young as I used to be, I kind of need some help. - Oh yeah. - Getting out, I'm like, ugh! - Oh, oh, we did it. - Ugh! - If you fall, then you need help getting up. - And I'm like, open your bag. - I opened my bag. (chuckles) - And I finished scooping the... - You don't wanna grab it yet? - No, because- (speakers mumble) - No one's gonna touch it. - Okay. - We are just gonna put it in the bag. - Also we can done all it down. - Uh-huh. - From the yum-yum room (speaker mumbles) - Uh-huh, yeah, let's see. Oh God, thanks, I know, I'm an old man. - Mm-hmm. - I really appreciate you, put this in the bag. Scoop it into the bag, seal up the top, and then we will get up if we can get away with it. We'll see. - Mm-hmm. - Go ahead. - I'm ready for performance. - Go ahead and do a charisma performance check. - I thought you'd never ask. - Are you also doing magic right now while this is happening? - No, I'm just checking out the yum-yum room. (speaker laughs) I don't even know what's in here. (speaker chuckles) - Yeah, oh! My back. (speaker chuckles) 19 plus three. - Ah! - Mm-hmm. - Okay. - So your performance is very convincing, and rather than responding to you moving the obsidian chunk, in fact you're not sure if Ms. Ross noticed at all. She instead says, "I think one of the tea cakes in the yum-yum room might help your back. You want to be in fighting shape before you face my sister." - That was like, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Let's get those tea cakes. - I love tea cakes. - Hmm. - Yeah. - Oh! - CBD. - Sounds so- - I love the scone. - Absolutely, I'm into it. I say this is exactly what I mean. I make a effort- - Mm-hmm. - To climb up here, but I'm gonna go up these stairs and then I gotta like step over these boxes and crates and bags. (speaker chuckles) - Hmm. - Like it's a big production, but then I finally get into the yum-yum. And it feels right. - Mm-hmm. - What's in here? - So as you can see, there is a table, and then there are cushions on the ground. And Ms. Ross- (laughs) - She's- - Oh! - Oh god! (speaker laughs) - So we can't even like see her (speaker chuckles) fully through the doorway. - No, you cannot. - Okay. - Just an eye. - Yeah. - She looks in and says, "Now would you like to eat first or would you like to nap?" - Nap. - Oh! - Nap. Nap. - Well, then everyone close your eyes. And I have to remember, it's the orange one, not the purple. - We're just gonna relax. - I'm pretty tired, I could probably fall asleep. - Yeah. - I don't even need any- - Alone. - We'll be cute. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't, don't worry about it. - And before you can get the door shut, I mean, she- (laughs) - I was gonna, let's try this. - A grizzly light- - What's the next try? - Floods the room. - So she blasts two rays at once. There is the orange ray from her head. And then one of her hand rays also fires at the table. And when the ray hits the table, a huge buffet of dessert- - Oh! - Oh yeah. - Appears. - Yeah. - Have you seen- (speaker laughs) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You see tea cakes, scones. - Oh! - What looks to be an ice cream cake that's in the shape of an Otyugh. - Oh! - Ah! - Croissant. - Yummy. - You see almond croissants. - Mm-hmm. - A pan of Shakula. - Hmm. - It's all there, including a chocolate fountain. - Oh! - Oh, I love it. - Hmm. - And as you see all that, the other ray hits you, and you fall fast asleep. - Oh! - A long rest, short rest. - And hopefully we'll be able to get some snacks after this. - Yeah. - You have all of you, that feeling of waking up, but it's like really hard to move. It's almost like, like sleep- - Sleep paralysis. - Sleep paralysis. - Eh! - Yeah. - And crouched up on the table, and the door is closed. - So now no sign of Ms. Ross. - I miss her. - Yeah. - Oh! - You see crouched up on the table with his rosy cheeks, Archie. - Huh! - Oh! - Really? - Hello there! - Hey buddy! - Hi! - I was in a different part of this place- - Hmm. - Hmm. - And I could hear you through the walls. I think you might be asleep right now. (speaker laughs) And- - We are. - We have consulted with each other, and we think you need to get out of there as quickly as possible. (speaker laughs) - Oh! - For we believe the level that you are on is entirely drenched with impossibility. - Yes. - Oh! - And if you stay there much longer, you will start being transformed by it. - Okay, let's wake up. - Understood, understood. - I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw. - Hmm. - I'm gonna use my inspiration on this one. - Good idea. - Good idea 'cause I just rolled it one. - Rolled it two. - We are not- - I also rolled a two, but I have inspiration. Ah, so that's a 21. - Right, so nine plus four, so 13. - 15. - All right, so only Certainty and Jim wake up. - Huh! - However, all of you have the benefits of a long rest. - Ugh! - Ah! - Oh, thanks. (laughs) - I'm so happy to rest. - Thank Lathander! - A long rest. - Confirm that long rest. - That feels good. - You see your three friends are still asleep and the door is now open, and Ms. Ross is hovering there at the open door. - Expectedly. And her two sprouted hands are (speaker chuckles) apparently stretch really far. (speaker chuckles) And she is starting to pull Omin toward her wide open mouth. - Oh! - Oh my God, what? - And she goes, "This is the best part of the yum-yum room." - Oh, we're the yum-yums, okay. - Oh! - We just gotta touch that rock. - Yeah. - Touch that rock, you got it. - You're then awake. - Yeah, yeah. - Well, he's awake too. - I'm awake. - Are you awake? Okay. - You have it, yes. - You touched the rock. - Yes, yes, I'm gonna touch the rock. As I'm touching the rock, it doesn't say, this requires an action, it says no action. Can I use my portent since we just finished a long rest? - Yes. - I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna see, but I wanna- - Yeah, but let's- - Okay. - Start to tune it. - So one’s a 15. That's a good one. - Let's tune up these numbers. - And, okay, so it's two 15s, that's good to- - Those are both- - Good, solid dice rolls. - Rock solid dice. - Yeah. - They can swap in for anything. - Yes, okay. So I get a brief glimpse of the future. And as a point of order, (speaker chuckles) our other DM Chris Perkins said, that when Certainty uses portent in Greyhawk, she sees a flash of the future. - And in fact you do. - Ah-ah! - Uh-huh! - (chuckles) Ah! - You see a city made entirely of iron spires that reach up toward an ashen sky where comets of fire hurl down to the ground and hit. And in your vision, you move into the city of iron going among its streets that are filled from one side of the street to the other with devils. And as your vision goes over them, you go into the central spire of the city. And there in a vast chamber, you see this handsome devil with great horns wearing a red robe and holding a rod capped by a massive glimmering ruby. - Ruby! - And hovering in front of him is this huge angelic figure, white wings, a halo over its head that is so bright that you cannot see its holy face. And you see the devil lay his rod down at the foot of the angel, and you hear him say the words, "I am ready to go home." - Ugh, ooh! - And that's where your vision stops. - So that's pretty impossible. - That's pretty impossible. - That's impossible. - That's pretty impossible. - That's what he's afraid of. That universe, that world. - Mm-hmm. - No, that's the future. - Yeah, what's one of them? - Unless we stop it. - Yeah. - This is pretty good. - Like we're talking about- - Mm-hmm. - Asmodeus fell from the heavens -Relenting. underneath his beautiful robes is bleeding, and from his blood all devils are born type of- - Yeah. - Lord of hell's bitch. - Yeah. - This is some Sandman who is gonna own hell once I'm gone. - This rewrites the whole- - Because I'm out- Lucifer type of shit. - No, this rewrites the multiverse. It's a pretty big deal. - And who that angel? - Yeah. - Hmm. - Okay, I don't have time to think about that. (speaker chuckles) I'm just like- - Your dad’s about to get eaten. - Yeah, I'm just like, oh. - So yeah, that happened, yeah. - And I grabbed the (chuckles) rock. - And as you do so, there is that ringing even in your sleepers, in your dreams. - Oh! - You hear that ringing, and you are suddenly whisked away and you can all just hear a distant voice that goes, oh, there go my yum yums. (speaker chuckles) (somber music) (somber music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)

Channel: Acquisitions Incorporated

Views: 38,653

Keywords: acquisitions incorporated, acq inc

Id: a9JUlUiv58g

Length: 112min 23sec (6743 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 11 2023