*awe-inspiring music*
*Dusk Horizon* [CIVVIE]
In that most important year of PC gaming, 1998, when id Software and 3D Realms ruled the world, Epic MegaGames had been working for years
on their own Doom clone, or Quake clone, a 3D answer to id Software's technical dominance. It was hyped. I remember seeing an ad as a child
that stuck with me forever. "It's called Unreal. Because it is." As far as I can tell, development
started around 1994 with James Schmalz, the founder of Digital Extremes, who showed off
his work to future big name Cliff Bleszinski, better known as CliffyB, and then showed it to Tim Sweeney, who showed it
to his friends, who showed it to their friends… So, Epic MegaGames, in partnership with Digital Extremes,
started working on their "Quake killer". It was apparently so impressive that our old friends
at GT Interactive snagged the publishing rights in 1996, two years before the game would come out. The hype was real. You could say the hype was… No, Civvie, you're better than that. No, I'm not. The hype was Unreal. *sighs from the audience* [AX3]
Actionable pun detected! [CIVVIE]
Let me have it! *electrodes charge up*
*argh!* Whatever they were trying to do,
they were playing with the big kids, out there writing an engine to challenge the supremacy of intangible ether spawn and former
Metaverse voice of reason John Carmack. The impressive engine that would become a household
name later on was developed by Tim Sweeney, although every time I've previously said
that Tim Sweeney did something, someone has come in to correct me
and tell me that Tim Sweeney did not, in fact, do it. So, for the moment, we will say
that Tim Sweeney did the thing, and going forward, especially with the greasy business
up ahead, we will also credit Tim Sweeney. I can't even begin to tell you
how important the Unreal engine has become. Chances are that your favorite game was made with it. Because everyone and their mother can get a copy
of the Unreal engine now and do stupid things with it like make an indie FPS game or haphazardly throw meshes
and lighting together and call it a "virtual set". Originally scheduled for release in April of 1997, it was delayed significantly
because everyone realized it sucked, and one of the complaints was that it was too long, which, in retrospect, is hilarious
considering the playthrough I just did, adjusted for deaths and replaying areas,
would probably take about 10 hours. It's a very long game for the time. Unreal was released in May of 1998
to rave reviews and good sales. That's, what, four years of development? And GT couldn't give Blood 2
another few months in the oven? And coming out five months or so
before Half-Life helped them a little. They didn't get immediately trounced
by Valve's game-changer. Is Half-Life a better game?
Yeah, probably, because Unreal is still deeply rooted
in the old style of FPS in more ways than Half-Life, though they are similar in ways I'll get into later so… Still an important milestone in gaming,
especially for 3D graphics. Funny thing though, recently Epic announced that it was removing practically
everything related to Unreal from digital storefronts. This filled me with a kind of impotent nerd rage that I try to avoid because it's impotent
nerd rage that doesn't mean anything. I could toss out a tweet about how Epic sucks. Actually I did, but since I don't care about getting Twitter likes and honestly would have been fine with
the platform being nuked with a low orbit ion cannon, even before Elon Musk took over, because Twitter was almost never good. Listen, I am but a humble pinnacle of online entertainment who started a show as a shitpost
where I talked about old FPS games and was forced to adapt in order
to have some kind of longevity on this platform and one day I hope to do that. The point is that I am,
in much more accessible terms, a YouTuber, and we are mostly clowns,
so I'm not questioning their business decisions. I'm sure they saved money by shutting down servers, I don't know why they had to de-list
the single player games too, but they did. The world has already forgotten Unreal II: The Awakening, which, you know, to be fair,
may have helped kill single player Unreal games by being incredibly boring re-heated
sci-fi sausage casing filled with sawdust. [DALTON]
Damn. [CIVVIE]
It seems a little uncouth
to remove Unreal from storefronts. I'm sure they're saving money by shutting down servers and maybe putting it towards the rumored
free-to-play version of Unreal Tournament 3, you know, the worst Unreal Tournament game
even though it's… fine I guess. It works. It's not terrible. [UT3 ANNOUNCER]
Blue flag taken. Red flag returned. Red flag taken. [JESTER]
I got the flag! [REAPER]
I have the flag! It came out when arena shooters
were on the decline and no one cared so Epic started focusing on Gears of War, but… Tim Sweeney, a… "capable businessman", jumped onto the "games as a service" model real early. Not wanting to be beholden
to the whims of a publisher anymore, and maybe I'm wrong
to put this all on Tim Sweeney but it seems like he's the major player here. The old business model wasn't working anymore, which we can assume means
"it wasn't profitable enough". And then you read they didn't wanna make
Gears of War 4 because it would cost $100 million and maybe you know, maybe you're spending
too much on your games. Maybe? Nah, it can't be that. Epic was developing Fortnite as early as 2011, looking towards the "games as a service" model. They asked Chinese
megafinancers Tencent for help, and by "help", I mean $330 million. Allegedly, Tencent has no creative input
on Fortnite or other Epic properties, whichever ones of those still exist somewhere, but when someone has a 40% stake in your company,
the incentive is to do whatever turns a profit, no? In comes Tencent, out goes Cliff Bleszinski. Out goes a lot of the old guard,
not wanting to take part in this Brave New World. Maybe saying that Unreal
is what defined Epic is stupid nowadays. Same as saying that Jill of the Jungle defines it. But to say "your money is no longer good here"
over the single player games? Why? And without even a source code release
for the original versions of the engine? I don't think it's a question of what's good business. The voracious eldritch horrors
that decide what is "good business" don't want the profits from over here
becoming loss over here where that series that built your house, the one that is the namesake
for the engine that runs your money printers, the technology that is used for Hollywood
spectacle at Industrial Light and Magic, that has powered countless games
that have themselves become legends. Seeing Epic become what it is today,
highly, highly successful, only to abandon the only thing
I ever truly loved them for makes me wonder
if they weren't always this company. When you look at Unreal, you see passion,
you see people striving for innovation, not simply because it would be profitable, but because they wanted to deliver
an experience to gamers that they wouldn't forget. An adventure for us to dive into. You, on an uncharted planet, crossing a hostile landscape,
discovering alien civilizations, fighting alone, and overcoming. Walking out of a crashed prison ship into the unknown and for the first time gazing upon a breathtaking
environment with a richness unseen by players before. Leaving the confines of a boring metal sci-fi tomb and into the vast living planet of Na Pali. It's called Unreal. Because it is. Unreal is awesome! I've been attempting to make an Unreal video
on and off for about two years. There were a couple of important things
that came together to make this finally happen. One, I wasn't playing on the hardest skill available
in these newfangled community patches from OldUnreal, which play around with the labels for difficulty settings
and decided to call "Unreal" skill "Very Hard" at one point. The version I'm using now is 227j, not the official, polished release of 227i, for one very important reason : HUD scaling. We're playing Unreal in 4K, because no matter what you say about
this game, it is beautiful and deserves it. But if I can't scale the HUD it's going to be a HUD
for the micro-bacteria living on the backs of ants. I'm also using the basic DirectX9 renderer because the fancier DirectX11 one,
when it does occasionally work for me, is too shiny. These DirectX renderers and OldUnreal
community patches are what we have because Epic won't release a source code. It would be really cool if they did
and I wonder if it's in some kind of legal limbo because of the sheer number
of games that use Unreal tech, even the first Unreal tech,
like, I dunno, off the top of my head : Deus Ex, Duke Nukem Forever 2001 (play the DNF Restoration project,
first slice out now!), [DUKE NUKEM]
I'm gonna get medieval on your ass! [CIVVIE]
Clive Barker's Undying,
maybe some others, I'll look it up… Jesus Christ. So we're playing Unreal, on Unreal, and I'm sure there's someone
out there saving at a campfire and ludovico-ing themselves
to footage of people enjoying video games asking why I'm not playing
on Extreme, Nightmare, or Ultra-Unreal. Well, let me explain that with a clip. This is meant for co-op. Unreal is the masochism skill, I promise. So let's actually, finally, start the game,
now that all the housekeeping is out of the way… *new message* Oh… finally ready, huh?
Took you long enough. Prepare the package,
reach minimum safe distance, or don't, I don't really care. *new message* You're good people, 18. Okay, so Unreal starts off a little differently
than you'd expect for a pre-Half-Life shooter because story things are happening. [COMPUTER VOICE]
Prisoner 849 escaping… [CIVVIE]
You're a prisoner on the Vortex Rikers, which has been taken down
by the gravitational pull of a mysterious planet. Everybody's dead, except you, those who have already escaped,
and the soon-to-be-dead. You're mostly dead yourself. We should get out of here. Up the elevator, grab the Universal Translator, maybe stay a little while
to read the stuff around the cell block. The ship isn't going to blow up while you're doing this. We have some helpful announcements :
"Violence will not be tolerated. Lights out at 8 PM." Someone is gonna start a prison riot
to celebrate their birthday. It being your birthday won't get you
out of trouble for that, trust me. Grab 5 health from a blood-filled toilet
with bloody bandages on top, execute a prisoner downstairs. Oof, somebody didn't wet the sponge. These readables paint a picture for us, which is good because we won't be talking
to many humans over the course of this game. The Vortex Rikers is taking its crew to a prison moon. It's rough. Jump into a massive vent
to make it out of the cell block so Unreal can show you some
of the pretty graphical effects it has. *echoing screams* The lighting and fog,
which was mind-blowing at the time. The screams of your fellow prisoners
and the crew echoing through this dark tunnel, before you reach the command center. Go straight to the armory, which has no weapons,
but some health and a useful bit of armor. We'll be up to 100 HP before leaving the ship. Most of that will come from the med-lab. Then, a human voice,
something we will not hear again for a while. [HUMAN]
Shit! What the hell was that? *alien grunt* *screams and gunshots* *only screams* [CIVVIE]
Shit! What the hell is that? It's gone before we can face it, which is probably good since
we're only getting our first weapon now, which is the dispersion pistol, our recharging emergency energy pew-pew gun, and I can't tell you how important
it is gonna be later in the game, just you wait. Break some glass to fully top-off our health and admire ourselves in the shiny mirrored surfaces. That's not the default player model,
it's the one I've been using, but still, mirrored surfaces in a 3D game
is pretty wild and an absolute flex by the developers. Pushing the 3D accelerator cards
of the time to their melting point. Now that we have the ability to break glass,
we can leave the ship. A hatch opens, you drop down, and the gun-metal sci-fi corridors you've been in, which were impressive enough for the time, are left behind. The more stereotypical futuristic human sci-fi stuff
that would come to characterize the series after this game is shed as you enter NyLeve's Falls. Look at this. The color. The life. Now listen to it, because Unreal's soundtrack,
like future entries in the series, rules. Adds so much to the atmosphere, which is probably Unreal's greatest strength. I want you to take a look at
what happens when I walk out of this ship. While Half-Life explored the possibilities
of immersion in a linear narrative, so did Unreal, and sometimes, just sometimes,
I think Unreal did it better, and right here is that one place. The first time I felt the gaming scene
shift under my feet while playing. A tiny bipedal rabbit thing bounces
towards me, takes a look, and jumps away. As you can see from the dead humans and their stories, this may be the last friendly NPC we meet. We jump into the water
because there's a couple magazines down there. The tiny fish nibble at us. Below the cliff we've crash-landed on,
another building, another lake, a beautiful waterfall, giving us the impression of
so much more space than there actually is. And the skybox, which is kinda chunky,
but it's what we had and it looked a lot better in 640x480. We're not going down there yet. We approach an unnatural looking metal
and brick structure and are harassed by a tentacle, the first hostile enemy you'll meet on this skill. It shoots little spikes and is an annoyance. Like most early game enemies, I open up
with a secondary blast from the dispersion pistol. That secondary fire can be charged
and has a bit of splash damage. You also have the automag, your first and one of the few hit-scan weapons
in the game that can save your life. But if your target isn't very mobile,
opening up with a free shot isn't a bad idea. You might recognize the automag
and most weapons in this game since they were the standard load-out
for almost all Unreal games in the future. Normally, here,
you would first encounter a lesser brute… [HUMAN VICTIM]
AHH! OH GOD! *argh!* [CIVVIE]
When your first enemies shoot rockets at you,
you know this game is gonna go hard. And on Unreal skill…
there's two of them. And then three. Brutes aren't even remotely
the worst things you'll have to deal with. Honestly, they're my least-hated
enemy in the first level. My most hated is the Cave Manta, granted ludicrous health thanks to the skill level. But we're mildly hurt
so we grab some Nali healing fruit, the most potent common health pickup in the game. Something about the level design
in this game that strikes me now, but didn't really at the time,
is how tall and imposing everything is. FPS games, well into the 2000s, didn't get scale right. If you don't believe me, go play a late 90's
or early 2000s FPS in VR and you'll understand. In Unreal, that's amplified, with purpose. Everything here is bigger and meaner than you are. A couple more brutes and you'll find the other side
of this tunnel and the entrance to the next level. Also guarded by a brute. You can choose to explore the warehouse here and
grab some ammo or healing fruit before going into the mines. We've only scratched the surface of Unreal. With barely a loading screen,
we walk right into the next area, almost as if we're doing the Half-Life level transitions. But we're not because there's no going back. Push boxes, grab ammo, blow a hole in a wall to reveal
a secret cave with one health pickup, I don't really need it. Oh, and a bit of text. It talks about a village on the other side of this mountain. We'll get there.
There's something very important there. While trying to turn off a force field,
the game begins to show us its cards. Its devilish combat starts here
with the introduction of the Skaarj. *door closing* *lights going out one after the other* *alarm*
*tense action music* Trapped in a tunnel with a skaarj is a worst-case scenario. This is a nightmare. One of the most threatening monster closets in gaming. This thing leaps at you in the dark.
It doesn't move like the other enemies. It doesn't move like any enemy
that anyone had seen in an FPS game before. That is due to the work of a man named Steven Polge, an AI programmer who caught the eye
of Epic Games when he created Reaper Bot, a fully computer controlled deathmatch bot for Quake. So now, in Unreal, we have opponents
that move like deathmatch players might, and that, that is terrifying under normal circumstances and a plague on the Unreal skill because what this boils down to,
the most important part of it, is that most Unreal weapons are projectiles, and these enemies are
very, very good at dodging projectiles, as well as sending them your way,
leading their targets, and going after you with
the reaction time of a Blood cultist. Their weakness is hit-scan weapons and you're only gonna have
one of those, this measly pistol, for a while. And always, always, double tap the Skaarj. They can fake death. So can you, but it's probably only effective in multiplayer. Let's go back a bit… *rewind* I was fighting this skaarj
because I had to distract him. If I didn't, he would have killed this nice fellow,
one of the indigenous creatures to this planet, the Nali. The Nali will help you because
they think you're their phophesized savior and if you beat this game on Unreal they might be right. You wanna keep them alive because
a lot of them, like this one, will open secrets for you. You know, until a skaarj sees them
and kills them on sight. Which they do, because they're terrible
and have taken over this planet. The Nali call them demons from the sky. They came to the planet, subjugated the locals,
and are mining for a precious mineral called "Tarydium". Hey, wait a fucking minute,
isn't this the plot of Avatar? Except the humans are the Skaarj
and the Na'vi aren't quite as peaceful? That's weird. Anyway, keep them alive,
because this one gives you the Stinger, your first rapid fire weapon with a secondary
that's as close to a shotgun as you'll get for a while. Look at this, man.
He's just trying to reach inner peace. Every fight against a skaarj at this point
in the game is gonna be a life-or-death struggle. You might end up switching to the pistol
just because they can't dodge that. You don't want them in your face. It's more important later
when there's more armor to be found, but armor will stack. Extra protection is great. TOTAL PROTECTION is better, which is why you wanna
keep an eye out for shield belts. The Skaarj will still fuck you up, but you'll be alive. Even on lower skills, this section of the game
is dedicated to proving how dangerous these things are. We wanna keep as many Nali
alive as possible, especially this one. Here we have the first
of four upgrades to your dispersion pistol. The thing morphs in your hand
into a deadlier weapon. The upgrade will boost the damage on the primary fire
as well as give you a larger ammo pool that you'll go through faster and will recharge slower. Not too much deadlier… for the moment. You'll see. Next room throws two skaarj at me, and you'll see me panicking here. A semi-important mechanic is the dodge, which lets you double-tap your directional buttons
to hop that way in order to, well, dodge an attack. Unfortunately, on this skill,
they're leading their attacks. First skaarj has an accident on these fragile wooden bridges
that are placed very dangerously over lava. The trash takes itself out. And the other one won't follow me up here
into a possible trap so I sting him. Dodging can also be useful in platforming since the air control isn't like Quake. It kinda sucks in Unreal Gold, so precise platforming isn't very easy or good. It's not something the game asks you to do very often. A lot of platforming is like this here.
See this little box? You can't jump very high,
this is a "Quake killer" after all, so shoot this tiny box so you can get a little
extra height to pick up the super health pack. It's shiny and blue, so it's important. The exit to the mine is guarded
by a stronger brute that we've seen before because Unreal's enemy roster is a tiny bit lacking. It is mostly different flavors of Skaarj,
or different flavors of Brutes occasionally. But look at this guy, he's massive,
and he shoots rockets like a cyberdemon on crack. [off-camera]
Cyberdemon on crack?
Is that the best thing I came up with? [normal]
As we start to surface,
your pistol is still your best friend against Skaarj, though we're picking up some
ASMD ammo on the way to rectify that. Hold on, I'm not sure this is gonna work. Perfect! Enter the sacred passage to clown on skaarj who are in such a wide-open area
that they can't do much of anything to you. This is the entrance to… the fffffuuuc- *mystic temple music*
*Chizra* This section of the game is fine for me now but I remember having a lot of trouble
navigating it in my first ten or so playthroughs. It shows off some cool
moving brush parts here and there, but mostly it's a confusing mess
filled with a new enemy, the Slith, who swim fast and spit toxic goo at you. The toxic goo thing is only gonna
get more confusing later. Oh, and flies. They suck too. That's not to say the water temple
doesn't have some great things in it. They didn't need to be in a water temple. Let's start with the ASMD Shock Rifle, a classic Unreal weapon. A mini railgun with a powerful secret. Primary fire is the railgun, secondary is a slower moving projectile, but listen, hey, listen, just between you and me and
all of the people who play Unreal Tournament… shoot the secondary with the primary. And sometimes you can score a decapitation with it. AND SUCK MY DICK! While you're lost in these water temples,
you may be finding notes about this "stick of six fires" and how it can only be reached by a warrior
who has bathed in the pool of thunder. Which spawns… one skaarj. Which might be a problem for the peaceful Nali, but we're a hardened criminal with big guns. We're about to get the biggest one yet. I never understood why the game
loaded you up on ammo for this immediately… you know, if you go to this area, activate some lightning, blow up a wall, and go in to stock up, but I'm happy it does. Because even though it's the easiest weapon
to dodge, the splash damage is what is helpful. Your primary fire is a rocket, and if you wait a few seconds, it can lock-on. Still very dodge-able by the Skaarj, not so much the Slith. The secondary will launch a bouncy grenade. But you can also hold down
the primary or secondary fire button… Oh, you taste that?
That's victory, kids. There is no more satisfying feeling in this game than dumping five or six explosives
into one of these tanky bastards and watching them instantly
turn into a shower of giblets. Especially if you get the drop on them
and delete their ass before they even know it's coming. This happens a lot less in this playthrough because
they seem to be able to hear the weapon loading. This weapon proves to me that it's not important
that the Skaarj can dodge your shots, it's important that you can manipulate them
to dodge where you want them to. And splash damage them to death. They're also not as good at dodging grenades. I don't know why. The water temple is over, we can finally get to a point where
the game throws you another curveball. Two right at the start of this level,
which seems like overkill. First, two tentacles right at the entrance
as you're stuck in water, not cool, and then once you leave that room,
it spawns a skaarj to follow you. Not today, dickhead. Always double-tap the Skaarj. Not only is this a giant building
full of tough, relentless Skaarj warriors, it is, as the title suggests, an arena. I don't think the Skaarj built it,
meaning the Nali built it, which is confusing because
it's got the first boss fight in it. This is the Titan, the towering
one-hit-killing, rock-slinging dino-juggernaut, who I died to once
just to show off how dangerous he is. Yes. That's what I did. Just a fragment of one of the rocks it throws can kill you. This particular arena has a big pillar
in the center to use as cover. You won't be so lucky when it shows up in the future. After this? A sleepy village with a little church,
and a secret in the abbey. The Nali, who abhor violence
and won't take up arms themselves, well, they have no problem stashing them around for me. And this one? *action music*
*Nightvision* Unreal's most legendary contribution
to FPS weaponry, beyond anything else, is this right here. A supercharged shotgun. I know what you're thinking. [VINCENT]
This… is a shotgun, Sol. [SOL]
It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent! [CIVVIE]
Even child Civvie, playing this,
knew this gun was the greatest in the game. The absolute GOAT, the king of Skaarj murder. The Flak Cannon. The primary is a scatter shot of jagged metal. The secondary is like a mortar that will hit the ground
and then launch a scatter-shot of jagged metal. The sound of it tearing through a skaarj
is forever embedded into my brain. Perfection. Okay, maybe I like the UT 99' one the most
but this one is nearly as good ! Unquestionably the MVP of this arsenal. Once you've got this,
the Skaarj don't wanna be in your face anymore. In fact, as soon as you have the flak cannon, the game immediately switches to enemies
with primarily ranged attacks. It literally changes the game. Unfortunately, for a while,
it changes the game into Terraniux. *epic music*
*Guardian of Stone* No, I don't care how that's pronounced. An absolutely miserable time. You're not the only thing to crash land on Na Pali. Whatever that nasty gravitational pull is doing,
it's doing it to other alien races, like this ship of mercenaries. They're not Skaarj, but they are an alien race that is capable
of long term survival on a planet full of Skaarj, meaning they are ridiculously tough. They're not quite as good at dodging projectiles
as the Skaarj because they don't have to be. Launch enough projectiles and
they activate an impenetrable shield. And they can continue
to fire hit-scans at you from behind it. They also have rockets because
those seem to be the standard. Oh, FUCK YOU!
YOU CHEATING BASTARD! You'll have to plow through about
25 of them before Terraniux is over. On top of the sliths, who seem to be
attracted to toxic waste and wanna live in it. You wanna know how desperate I get? I activate a power amplifier. That's an inventory item that can boost
your energy weapons damage output times 4. That's right, it's quad damage for energy weapons, but the only energy weapons you have
are the ASMD and the dispersion pistol. I'm so desperate that I use it. I try and save it up for special occasions. You'll see why later. The ship is a little confusing to navigate
since one of the elevators is blocked off and it's designed symmetrically so you'll see
very similar looking rooms over and over again. Copied and pasted,
whole hallways, rooms, et cetera. It's very pretty, though. You need to get to the control center but not now, there's still buttons
to press and things to find. For one, another dispersion
pistol upgrade in the central area. Look, it's got a barrel now! Some swimming in toxic goo
will get you to the control room, which has the next new weapon, the bio-rifle. I've never really been a fan but I found myself
using it more in this playthrough in desperate times. Eventually I find an elevator that
will take me out of this terrible place. To Noork's Elbow. Which is a name. And then… desperate times! Five mercenaries run a train on me
at the entrance to this level, as I am trapped in a box. Thankfully this is pretty much the last
we'll see of these mercenaries and we can get back to this game being kinda
punishing instead of a full-throated war cry at my eardrums. Good!… lord!… *tension music*
*Isotoxin* The temple of Vandora is a fine level,
a decent Unreal location. Just a nice, self-contained area
where you light some fires. It's a temple to a Nali deity. Oh… I'm interested in this religion. Very interested. Vandora is the Nali goddess of lightning. I love her. I don't care if she's blue. That's a 512x512 texture in a game from 1998. That's how much attention to detail the designers
needed to fully capture the grace of Vandora. And I'm not blurring a set of titties there.
I'm blurring two sets of titties. Drop into this pool and take a long swim to find
a secret super health and another dispersion pistol upgrade. That's 3 out of 4, we're doing good. New enemies you'll find include the gasbags. Who are a joke. They fly, which is annoying,
but they're slow and so is their projectile. It can still dodge rockets so I'll usually pistol it. Then there's the Skaarj infantry. What's worse than Skaarj? Skaarj that can carry
all the same weapons that you can. Yes, that includes the flak cannon! This one had a bio-rifle so he's not a problem. This one has a dispersion pistol,
non-upgraded, thankfully. They get a little more dangerous. Most of them in this level are locked in
these little rooms like reading or something, I don't know. This one has a stinger.
That's a little worse. Ooh, Nali fruit seeds!
These will come in handy. The level ends with another Titan fight with much less cover
so I can show you just how easy it is to die from a random rock. This rock. Right here. I'm not saying I could survive getting hit
with a rock like that but I wouldn't be gibbed by it. *ominous tension music*
*Unreal #7* Now it's time for the ISV-Kran, kind of the middle section of Unreal. And from now on I will be avoiding
killing titans as much as possible because they're an ammo sponge
and I'm not wasting my time. There's gasbags too and one skaarj,
but we have a secret weapon. The hangar doors will open for humans. The ship is still full of fucking Skaarj- It's really weird how some of the most dangerous places
on this planet are the crashed ships of other species. When you get to Deck 4,
you enter relatively narrow hallways. There's one skaarj.
He sees you, runs, and sets off the alarm. The alien sets off the alarm on the human spaceship, and you go over to the panel and it says "panel rewired
to trip alarm - system accessed by unauthorized users." The Skaarj ran to a thing that was not an alarm to activate an alarm
either knowing it was an alarm or not knowing but I… The ISV-Kran even on lower skills
is a gauntlet of human suffering. I don't want this skaarj to set off the alarm so I try a couple times to stop the speedy prick
from getting there and eventually I do. YOU SEE THAT?!
YOU SEE WHY I DOUBLE TAP THEM?! I'm not sure if this is exactly how this works,
I haven't opened the level up in UnrealED or anything, but I'm 90% sure that once you kill
a skaarj here, another one spawns. There's at least a half dozen that spawn before
a grate opens in the hallway where you can progress. You take the vents to a flooded room to hit
a switch that will let you into the warehouse. You get the razorjack
which is like, not useless, exactly, but the function of being able to slice
a monster's head off after like three shots to the head is not worth the razor-sharp projectile bouncing
around the arena that can behead you in one. AGAIN?! AGAIN! THIS IS WHY I DOUBLE-TAP THEM. GODDAMNED ISV-KRAN'S SLIPPERY SKAARJ! Fighting Skaarj in tight spaces is a nightmare, the designers know it,
that's why they were introduced that way, and the Kran is here to take full advantage of it. Like locking you in a room
and dropping four of them from the ceiling, and once you kill the fourth, the door opens. I hate that kind of scripting!
It's so goddamn inorganic and annoying! Only once do I get to clown
on a skaarj with explosives, and I think that's because the extremely
loud hydraulic doors covered my sound. Still, love that. The ship has a coolant leak
but I can't deal with that yet, because I've got to deactivate
the force fields by destroying two cores. That's not where I go first, I don't remember why, instead I get trapped in this long shaft because to exit it again,
you need to get to the top, and another half-dozen skaarj,
one by one, come out of these tunnels here, and you have to kill every one of them so that
the ship can let you access the good stuff up here. Now, you might think that this skaarj
is about to fall to his death. And under normal circumstances you might be right, however, this really tall shaft is not really tall enough. So where did he- Oh, you sneaky bastard. Okay, here's a move I like to call the "Cliff Shocker". As you can see,
he was killed by the cliff shocker, and now these ramps extend,
and I can have some health again. Okay, kill the power, But then reroute
the power so I can take the turbo lift to Deck 1. My advice on Deck 1 is to run. Just run! The game is gonna keep spawning skaarj
every time you do this thing, hitting switches in three
different rooms to deactivate a laser but then re-activate it because otherwise all the skaarj chasing you
will continue chasing you. Skaarj infantry are back now too, with their shields and I honestly never thought I could score
a head-shot with the dispersion pistol. Cool. If I had to guess I would say that
the ISV-Kran was a science research vessel where the experiments were based on
using alien DNA to trigger their trap doors. And a blob monster. I do not understand
why there is a blob monster here. Like everything in this game,
it looks way too pretty for 1998 but this is the only time it shows up, except for once in Return to Na Pali but we're not gonna see that because
I skipped it because Return to Na Pali is kind of silly and you can do that kind of thing, but I'm getting ahead of myself. This is the easiest thing on this ship to fight. At one point, I'm so desperate
that I drop a Nali fruit seed and wait. *Super Mario Bros. 3
Sky Land Theme* There we go, now we're in good shape. It's long past time we get off this ship. I make my way to the flight deck,
hit a button to reveal an escape teleport, and yeet myself into the unknown
that can't possibly be any worse than this. Oh, goddammit! *tension music*
*Unreal Crypt* This level has three titans that I run past because no, I'm not wasting the ammo
on them when I can just walk to this gate that I need to jump to unlock
because I am a tiny human, a short king, so that's 5 titans we have avoided now,
and left to live their lives in peace. They're indigenous to this planet
so I'm sure the Nali can deal. It's at this point in the game that
the Skaarj infantry are given eightball guns. Which sucks. However, they are on narrow ledges
above a cliff. Above lava. And now we enter The Sunspire. Which might not be the worst level in Unreal
but it is the worst level in Unreal. Describing when and where things happen is fruitless. It would be like trying to describe color to a blind person. You see, a lot of these areas are copied and pasted,
whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing, and these copy-pasted hallways
and rooms are placed in a giant tower, where the way to progress up
the tower is known only to the Nali elders and the extremely antisocial person who designed it. Half the hallways are completely dark. The level introduces the worst enemy
in the main game, the Skaarj pupae, baby skaarj, who don't shoot anything at you,
they're just way spongier than they should be, make irritating noises, come in packs, and have removed any reservations
I previously had about killing babies. So check that off, 18, you hear me. I think this means that the Skaarj are… bug-like? They have a Queen, we'll briefly meet her later. There's a trick to ascending the Sunspire, and that is running around like an idiot and encountering
absolutely brutal, rocket-shooting infantry around every corner. It is a bad time. You know, I would have believed that the Skaarj
took over and subjugated a peaceful race of aliens without making them harder
than an everclear smoothie. Gasbags fly around the more open
parts of the tower, they're no problem. Up this elevator, and CRAP! WITH THE TENTACLES, NOW? You know what, I'm out of flak cannon ammo,
so only one thing left to do. Okay, I can do a little better than that. Bitches. Eventually, and I do mean EVENTUALLY, this level, no matter how many times
I play it, takes me about 45 minutes. It's very pretty, though. I got the minigun somewhere too. The minigun shoots bullets, so hit-scans, which is great. It eats through ammo. It eats through it even faster with
the secondary fire which shoots bullets faster. Not a complicated weapon at all,
and still nowhere near as good as the flak cannon. You reach the top of the Sunspire
where there's a wonkavator into the sky. To power it, you shoot some lightning into a crystal. Then, what you do, right, is you waste so much time looking on the edges
of the top of the spire for secrets and gathering items that you have to go back down and shock
the crystal again to get the wonkavator back down. Now we're in the sky and this game
becomes a lot nicer to the player. I'm not sure if it means to but it does. This is what Unreal is all about.
Cool alien spaces. These guys here, though, the Krall, absolute joke. Have none of the acrobatic abilities of the other Skaarj and carry a stupid staff
that shoots easily avoidable projectiles. They crawl around if you blow their legs off
but otherwise, nah, they're useless. They're not Skaarj, clearly. According to the lore, they're another race
enslaved by the Skaarj that keep the Nali in line, you know, the peaceful race that will pick up
flak cannons and save them for me to use. I swear I've gotten the rifle earlier than this before. Oh well, here's the rifle. If the flak cannon is the MVP,
this is the second in command. High damage hit-scan weapon capable of head-shots. It's the last weapon I get
and probably the most powerful. It even zooms!
It doesn't have a scope, but it zooms. Here I am at a serious disadvantage, stuck in water, against a Skaarj infantry, aaand… Absolutely essential weaponry. I feel bad wasting ammo with it
because that stuff is rare. Look at the fucking size of
the ammo pickup versus the gun. I don't know what caliber that is.
It looks like it could down a T-Rex. This guy, right here, his shield isn't even down yet
before he's firing a rocket at me. That's mean. That's dirty.
He's going off the edge. And his friend… Motherfucker. Upstairs is one of my favorite levels, Na Pali Haven, a town on top of this floating mountain where it looks like the Skaarj are just there
studying the Nali from behind glass. It feels the most like a place in any of these maps. They're growing crops,
they have livestock, libraries, an inn, sewers. *zombie sound* The whole thing gives the impression that
there was a society here that's been completely taken over. And the simple visuals here
of the floating islands surrounding it in the void. The vastness of it gives you the impression that your journey
has taken you so far across the landscape of this planet. There's a sense of scale to it
that you just don't see in a lot of games, especially not in 1998. Sure, you can traverse
the Black Mesa Research Facility all you like, but it doesn't feel like there's a whole planet
outside of it in quite the same way. Yeah, even if that planet is Earth. I have torn a path over
this planet trying to escape, and we've still got a long way to go. Just look at this. Oh, also… I don't care how good their AI is,
they're not surviving that fall. A couple of switches will get you into an underwater
tunnel that will take you to the Skaarj outpost where there's a ship I can't fly. Into another church,
but not one dedicated to her majesty Vandora, I mean it's already been defiled by
the presence of the Skaarj and their machinery. There's a teleporter in the catacombs
to take us to Velora Pass, a short level where
we are promptly assaulted by a skaarj. This presents a problem. That's the last power-up for the dispersion pistol. I have to get it. I can choose not to and move on, but as soon as I pick it up, the bridge to
the next area drops away until I kill the stone titan. So I guess I have to kill the stone titan. That's not too bad, there's a ton of cover here. That is just… a fucking evil pattern. Okay, now that's done… it's on to… *holds back laughter* We're going to… *continues to hold back laughter* No, I gotta… *continues to hold back laughter* We're going to… *epic music*
*Bluff Eversmoking* Bluff Eversmoking. Not just a 1970's children's show starring puppets that the Network was too out-of-touch to realize was made by a bunch of hippies
smoking seedy, low-grade Tijuana dirt weed, Bluff Eversmoking is also my favorite level in Unreal
because it is just a massive, open, beautiful, rich tapestry of everything I actually love about this game. The story and the lore buried just beneath the surface and told through the locations, of which there are many, a Nali hideout on top,
a Skaarj prison in the mountain, a cemetery, a crypt with actual Nali ghosts that even though they are very much dead,
still help you and give you supplies, even a sewer! *zombie sound* The locations themselves
all feeling like they have a purpose, and also that purpose is written down. You escape the prison through
an underwater tunnel used by the Nali, and on the other side is their hideout, where they are more than willing to give you a hand. Or four. This one opens a secret with a shield belt
and a mirror so I can show the effect off. This level is a perfect encapsulation of the kind of design
we lost for quite a while in shooter games after Half-Life. This is what Gaben took from us. But he did give us Steam
so I think we'll call it even, praise be upon him, and Vandora. Mostly, what we have to do in this level, is get access to the hydroelectric shipping cart
that will take us out of here. There's some force field deactivating
along the way across the whole damn map itself but there's so much to see and discover
that I don't mind how open-ended everything is. This is all peak Unreal in my mind,
the highest point, one we'll never see again because they stopped making
single player Unreal games in 1999. No, we still don't count Unreal 2,
that's not an Unreal game, that's Captain Dalton and his misfit crew
do boring human military bullshit and I will never, ever care! As we finish the level, grabbing the extra dispersion pistol
power-up that does nothing but refill our ammo, we are forced to say goodbye to… *stifles laughter* Bluff Eversmoking. May it forever smoke… on that bluff. *epic music*
*Bluff Eversmoking* The cellars at Dasa Pass are a joke level,
I will give them no more attention than I need to, and showing you two areas will give you the jist, okay? The first is hallways that
continuously repopulate with Krall. So it's like those bits in the ISV-Kran
except not at all challenging, really. And the second is hallways that continuously
repopulate with Krall and also a titan. Oh, and another sewer. *zombie sound* But sewers were never as green as they were in Unreal. There's a boat ride to show off how pretty the game is. I already know how pretty the game is,
I've been playing it for 8 hours. Nali Castle, too, which, obviously it's pretty, they use a beefed-up version of it for the title screen. This is a map that's also huge and open
but not nearly as cool as… the one with the funny name. You need to get access to the dungeon of this castle,
strange thing to have for a peaceful alien race. I think the Nali are hiding something from us. To get into the dungeon, you don't need a key.
You need to defeat the five-eyed daemon in the tower. That sounds… not good. And getting up the tower is a pain
because of infantry, obviously. I leap in, my shield that I haven't used up to this point
because it's practically useless since it's stationary. I use that and… it's a giant gasbag.
So giant that it can't dodge my projectiles. Trash! That's just a distraction from the real boss coming up. Once you make it through the dungeon… *boss music*
*The Warlord* Now, I don't know why the Skaarj warlord walked
into a Hot Topic and took everything within reach. Maybe because when you're a two-story rocket-launcher
carrying super-alien you can just do that, not here, not on my watch! Now, I could do an extended battle against him,
and his tanky, projectile dodging, utter BS. I could do that. I'm not going to. There's a stalactite above him
that will fall if you shoot at it that does a pretty good amount of damage to him, and the name of the game
is outputting ludicrous amounts of damage. Which is why I've saved up an energy amplifier. Remember that dinky last resort dispersion pistol
I've been upgrading this whole game? Well, every shot from it does close to 100 damage. Now multiply that by 4. Now, he's a smart boy,
and he doesn't wanna come into this hallway. But he will. And after only six shots from
the powered-up dispersion pistol, he taps out. He teleports away. He'll be back. The next area, I think,
is the hardest one I had to deal with. I had to like, strategize. So it's completely dark, there's an unknown number of heavily armed infantry, and an unknown number
of pupae just to make your life miserable. We need a choke point. And to finally use this invisibility power-up
that I've had stashed away for such an occasion. Sneak by, go downstairs, hit the lights,
make a barricade to slow them down, because as soon as you alert them, and there's lots, they're coming! Do you see this console? Don't touch it. It's an alarm. Swear to god, that is just mean. It looks like it might open this door here? No, it sends every Skaarj in the place to your location. A couple more will come from upstairs. Use bouncy projectiles to deter them
from advancing and blast them to hell. Grab some more rockets by dash-jumping. More will come. Trap a skaarj behind a box and use
the secondary on the razorjack to humiliate him. [LO WANG]
Snatch pebble from hand! [CIVVIE]
Pick up everything from this room before leaving. You're gonna need it. I know the "loading up a bunch of explosives
and gibbing a skaarj" is satisfying, but doing it and somehow getting
a head-shot is only slightly less satisfying. The entrance to the Skaarj mothership is guarded
by like 4 infantry guys with rocket launchers, so I'm using the last of my invisibility to get in there. *ominous music*
*Queen of Death* This is the endgame. This laser trap is… I hate this, it's playing with my eyes and I can't
properly follow where the lasers are going because of the scrolling texture. The lasers are as thick as a Scottish terrier
and an eyesore and my brain can't process it. We have to shut down the reactor to get the reserve power
going so we can get access to the Queen. This is, while easier than the last level,
still a challenge that calls for a montage. *epic tension and action music*
*not Bishop's Countdown* I WILL USE YOUR DEAD TO GROW MY FRUIT SEEDS! *epic tension and action music*
*not Bishop's Countdown* OH LOOK, WHO'S BACK! *epic tension and action music*
*not Bishop's Countdown* Ain't so tough without your big lava mountain, are ya?! The generator blows up, and now we get to go
through the mothership again, this time in the dark, thankfully with an upgraded flashlight
that will practically never run out of battery life. Oh yeah, I never mentioned the flashlight.
There's a flashlight. I'm running to where I need to go,
occasionally stopping for supplies, but mostly pushing forward to find
that one door that wouldn't let me in before. Fighting green transparent skaarj,
for some reason, before coming across the Queen's final guard, the Skaarj Berserker. Big corn fed bastard! Okay, second to last guard, there's still ONE MORE. Finally, we arrive at The Source. [DUKE NUKEM]
It's time to abort your whole frigging species! [CIVVIE]
On this planet, anyway. The Skaarj are gonna go extinct without their queen. She has a shield. She teleports. It doesn't matter.
I've been playing this too long. She's going down. And now, as the ship,
for some reason, crumbles around us, it's time to make our escape. And as Prisoner 849 escapes the atmosphere, they are still stuck in a tin can in space. But alive. And too tough for the army of Skaarj. I'm okay with this, got me a couple of Nali fruit seeds,
I can get some crops going since they grow anywhere. We crash landed a prisoner and
then set the Skaarj on the path to extinction and the Nali on the path to freedom. Saved the world. But that's not where it ends, right? Epic MegaGames,
which they were still called at the time, didn't really do Return to Na Pali, although CliffyB's name is on some of these levels, because I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, you know how they re-purposed unused
beta content for expansion packs later on? Yeah… Return to Na Pali was released in 1999 and then bundled
with the original game as Unreal Gold in 2000, which was my first exposure to Unreal. I've never played Unreal without it
having Return to Na Pali stapled to it. I may have been unfair
to Return to Na Pali in the past but only because it has a dumb story told badly and seems determined to avoid playing like Unreal
as much as possible for an expansion pack. But Legend Entertainment, who developed it, well, they were previously known for adventure games when then shifted away from them
in the late 90’s when shooters were popular, releasing Wheel of Time, and then getting bogged down
by Unreal II for several years. Legend Entertainment had
kind of a rough time with everything. Delays, cutting half the game out in order to ship it, being forced to work with
outdated versions of Unreal Engine 2, a thing you'd expect them to not have to worry about. Unreal II released on a 2001 build of the engine… in 2003. Which is probably why
Unreal Tournament 2003 looks and feels a lot better. I didn't realize that Epic was
also boning Legend Entertainment. At the time it seemed insane that you'd purposefully screw over
the people developing the sequel to your flagship franchise. Something I'd never thought of, right, Return to Na Pali was called
"Unreal Mission Pack 1". It was the only expansion to come out for Unreal. Another expansion, Steele Dawn,
was planned, worked on, and then scrapped, later re-habbed and released
by the Unreal modding community. It was done by Level Infinity, who you may remember
from the Shadow Warrior expansion Twin Dragon, which was planned,
worked on, and then scrapped. With the knowledge that as early as 1999, Epic didn't give a rocket-jumping fuck
about their single player franchises anymore, let's get into Return to Na Pali! Prisoner 849 is floating on that ship,
probably snacking on some delicious Nali fruit, doing his prayers to Vandora, when a human ship picks us up
and discovers that we're an escaped prisoner, and uh… it doesn't sit too well with them
but they decide that it's an opportunity. Like, immediately, they're planning to use you. [BODEGA BAY]
Permission to use the rescued prisoner
for Operation: Talon Hunter. The prisoner has extensive knowledge
of the planetary surface and hazards. Prisoner 849 is the natural choice to search for the wreck
of the Prometheus and recover the Talon data cores. [CIVVIE]
Oh, yeah, obviously. I'm sure you don't have crack teams
of heavily armed marines that could do this. Like really tough hombres that could kill
this prisoner in less than a second. [(MALE) PRISONER 849]
A day after my so-called rescue
and I'm going back to the surface of the planet. [CIVVIE]
You know, maybe it's a little hypocritical to say this
but this dude does not sound like a hardened prisoner. The other version, which is activated
if you've got a female player skin, sounds a bit better. [(FEMALE) PRISONER 849]
My job is to find the wreck
of another ship, the Prometheus, and recover the data cores for some
new secret weapons research project. When I've got the cores I'm supposed
to go to the bridge of the crashed ship and activate the ELT transmitter. The ELT will pinpoint my location for pickup. [CIVVIE]
Yes. "For pickup". [(MALE) PRISONER 849]
They need me because they don't know
exactly where the Prometheus went down. [CIVVIE]
Fine, good, I'll just search
the whole planet then, right? [PRISONER 849]
Apparently the tarydium in the planet
below is wreaking havoc with their scanners. If anyone can find their missing ship, I can. [CIVVIE]
Yeah. Still… [PRISONER 849]
I'm a little better prepared than last time. They've given me a military-issued
Combat Assault Rifle, a new portable SCUBA unit
for underwater, and this computer log. They've also made logistics drops
of weapons, ammo, and other supplies. They call this a salvage mission.
I call it a return to hell. [CIVVIE]
Sure, "return to hell", what if I told you that Return to Na Pali, at least on Unreal skill,
and probably the others too, is way, WAY easier? We did already kill the Skaarj queen.
Maybe we got them demoralized. We don't actually start
with a combat assault rifle, that's in a supply drop outside. We do have the dispersion pistol… with no upgrades. [GORDON RAMSAY]
Fucking raw! [CIVVIE]
Yeah, I don't care,
I'm using the clip, that sucks balls, and it makes this the second
hardest part of this whole expansion. Because it starts exactly
where the main campaign starts you're in a similar location,
you get an automag, you face tentacles and brutes, you go outside and grab the Combat Assault Rifle, your first clue that things are gonna
go a little different this time around. Return to Na Pali might as well be
a victory lap for Prisoner 849. The Combat Assault Rifle, or CAR,
is a bullet-hose hit-scan weapon that fires faster than the minigun, has an alt-fire that's like
a concentrated blast of five shots, is accurate at a distance of 10 parsecs, and is a complete reversal of all
the things that Unreal's combat was about. Look at the magazine, it's bigger than the gun! You can't dodge it. It isn't the hardest hitting
and it chews through ammo but the Skaarj are on the other end of this, bitching like a Call of Duty pro
when someone kills them with a shotgun. *grunts* [SKAARJ] [CIVVIE]
This whole level is pretty
reminiscent of Unreal's main campaign. In fact, a lot of Return to Na Pali
follows the same beats, you start in a big open canyon
with waterfalls and such, some brick and metal Skaarj
buildings, brutes, tentacles… the brutes are a little bigger this time, but you have an OP hit-scan weapon to use,
which makes everything easier. And sometimes the game throws
something awful at you, like here : Yep, I got slimed. I need health kinda bad. Oh, look, a Nali fruit plant. Perfect! What about… Why don't you just powder my ass
and chew my food for me, Return to Na Pali? This shouldn't even be called "Return to Na Pali"
because it seems like the Skaarj aren't sending their best. Maybe I've killed all the best. Because this is a breeze. It should be called "Revenge of Prisoner 849". Return to Na Pali does have some new stuff in it. The first new enemy you'll meet
is at the end of the first level. It's a predator. No, not this Predator we've already seen… It's… this tiny, incredibly fast dinosaur
with the AI of a very aggressive goldfish. This is your second clue that Return to Na Pali
gives no shits about how Unreal plays. This is the least Unreal enemy you could have. It just shows up and runs straight towards you. Sure, it's annoying. It has the self-preservation instincts
of a stormtrooper in Kyle Katarn's hunting lodge. I've had cats that could dodge oncoming fire better. The end of each level has a little debriefing
and a goddamn scoreboard. Like it's trying to pull Unreal
back in time to when that mattered. [PRISONER 849]
When I looked up and saw the shuttle
pulling away, it really hit me. I was back. [CIVVIE]
Like I said, this is Prisoner 849's revenge, so this is "back" in the John Wick sense. [PRISONER 849]
Sure enough,
it wasn't long until I ran into a brute. [CIVVIE]
Or ten. [PRISONER 849]
At least the combat assault rifle's a powerful weapon. No sign of the Prometheus
in this valley or the surroundings. I need to keep searching. [CIVVIE]
It doesn't take too long to find it. Until then, we're continuing to traverse the planet, finding skaarj in areas that are
so open that fighting them is trivial. Underwater, I find a supply drop with
a grenade launcher, which always confused me since the game already has a grenade launcher. You won't see it all that much. Here's some hopelessly
desperate Krall to test it out on. This is taking too long… I jump into a well, where Prisoner 849
finds some time while falling to record a log. [PRISONER 849]
After a leap of faith,
I'm pausing to record a log entry. I'm still shaken after running
into the Skaarj and their filthy minions. [CIVVIE]
Yep, that's the Krall. [PRISONER 849]
I guess I thought I'd seen the last of them
when I killed the Skaarj queen on the mothership. Still no sign of the Prometheus.
Time to move on. [CIVVIE]
Yeah, move on to… *zombie sound* Hooray! [CIVVIE]
This bit with the beefed-up
brutes is a little challenging, until you're done and you realize that
there's two Nali plants and a shield belt here. I swear, Legend Entertainment was tasked
with making Unreal blander and more palatable and they completely fulfilled that goal with Unreal 2. There's slith down here too,
who aren't too much trouble. If you're worrying about running out of air, don't! Because the new scuba gear lasts a while
and recharges when you're out of the water. Going into this directly after the main campaign
makes me feel coddled, like a baby. Oh, whoa, no, wait a minute,
did you just auto-switch me to an explosive weapon? Oh, no, we don't do that.
It's in the sacred texts! You don't do that. [RAMSAY]
IT'S RAW! [CIVVIE]
A short fight with some gasbags later
and I'm on a boat heading out. [PRISONER 849]
I'm glad I figured out how to bring water back
into the underground well system. The Nali won't die of thirst. [CIVVIE]
Is that something we were concerned about? [PRISONER 849]
As much as I hate being back here,
I have to say it was good to see the Nali again. [CIVVIE]
We didn't meet any but I'm gonna give him
the benefit of the doubt and say that I just didn't see any. No, wait, there's a Nali in the next village! Alright, cool, nice catching up! [CIVVIE]
Oh, here's something new, a giant cave manta. So there's that. Cool town, just gonna steal some things
out of your basement here, destroy this wall, raid a crypt. *Nali making weird sounds* Did they just tell an intern to do a magic chant? If I'm helping the Nali, like restoring
infrastructure, clean water and such, I'm sure there's other stuff I can do. This one saw another spider in his basement
today that got in through the crack in the wall. Always an issue this time of year. The Nali are peaceful people so I can see
why they might be threatened by a spider. Oh, it's an Aussie spider! I can see why they're giving you trouble. Yes, we've got giant spiders!
They're dumb and fit the world of Unreal like a glove. I swear, I can just hear Tim Sweeney
behind the scenes saying, "No, it has to be more bland! "I've got it! Giant spiders! "Spiders are the fiercest killers in the animal kingdom!" I don't know what these
are officially called and I don't care, putting the giant spider enemy in your game
is almost as stock as putting a sewer in. Upstairs in the church
there's an actual fight with a skaarj. And a cave manta for some reason. After that side quest, we're back in the village to fight
this poor skaarj who can't really go anywhere to chase me and this seems like a common issue
in the level design of Revenge of Prisoner 849. It's very pretty, though. Hey look, a rocket launcher, a weapon
that Unreal certainly didn't already have! But instead of homing rockets,
this one shoots guided rockets. Funny thing, those crates with human weaponry
and the wreckage of the Prometheus falling from the sky are wreaking havoc on the local population. They may be killing more Nali than I'm saving. Just a quick hop over here
aaaand we're out of bounds. It's all right, you're safe now. [PRISONER 849]
I'm close!
I've seen the first evidence of the crash site! [CIVVIE]
Yeah! Almost there! Yep. There it is. We've reached the halfway point
where we explore a human ship just like last time. You know, but easier. Mostly… Okay, let's not touch this unstable bridge
so we don't fall through it. Volumetric triggers!
How do they work!? [GORDON RAMSAY]
I'm done… I'm fucking done. [CIVVIE]
This is kind of like a mix
between the ISV-Kran and Terraniux because it's a human ship
but it's full of mercenaries pillaging it. And one of those goo monsters but
we're gonna skip that and head into the next area. There we go. Woo! Mission accomplished, found the weapon logs.
Time for… an in-game cutscene?! [PRISONER 849]
By some miracle… the trans-light communication
system on the Prometheus is still working. While I was exploring the comm center, I came across
this exchange captured and recorded by the computers : [BODEGA BAY]
Deep space warship UMS Bodega Bay. [STARLIGHT BASE]
You are to take whatever steps necessary
to ensure the success of Operation: Talon Hunter. [BODEGA BAY]
Acknowledged. [STARLIGHT BASE]
Bodega Bay, one more thing,
Operation: Talon Hunter is classified Deep Ultra. Once you've finished your mission, you must
implement measures to eliminate any security risks. [BODEGA BAY]
Please clarify, Starlight Base. [STARLIGHT BASE]
Bodega Bay,
make sure Prisoner 849 doesn't come back. Terminate the prisoner once the job is done. [BODEGA BAY]
Understood, Starlight Base. [CIVVIE]
Oh man. That's not good. [PRISONER 849]
I've been betrayed. Why does this not surprise me? [CIVVIE]
Yeah, really. [PRISONER 849]
I guess all I can do is play out this hand : recover the data cores,
activate the ELT on the bridge, and then try to hijack
the shuttle when they come get me. [CIVVIE]
OR! OR! Don't activate the thing that tells them exactly
where you are and find another way off the planet. You've done it before. Not an option, so we have to endure
the hardest and worst part of Return to Na Pali : the marines. Semper Fi!
Oorah to- HOLY SHIT! These marines are armed with the absolutely
overpowered combat rifles you've found already, are tough, fast, have a stupid walk cycle that looks like
they've got a load in their pants, and I don't know why
you wouldn't send them in the first place. Maybe I'm expendable but like…
aren't they expendable to the company too? Isn't everybody? These guys are such a pain in the ass. The difficulty spike in this section compared
to the rest of the expansion looks like a needle. They will nuke you with guided missiles. They'll hit-scan you from across the map. The one time Return to Na Pali wanted to go hard and they still fucked it up. Best strategy I found was to keep moving
and hit them with splash damage, as long as you're out of their line of sight. You kill four of them, right,
and then they send more in, and you can't leave until all of them are dead because there's a bunch of rocks in the way
that eventually get destroyed by a teleporter beam. From the ship.
That was trying to kill you. Let's move on. There's a valley that leads
to a cool temple level after that. I don't have much to say about it
besides the spiders still aren't much of a threat. You end up outside the temple, which is the same valley from before
at a different time of day. It's incredibly open so the skaarj
and brutes aren't much of a threat. There's a titan in there
somewhere but I just skipped it. *tension music*
*Foundry* Here's the re-purposed beta CliffyB levels, everybody. They remind me of Quake 2 but more colorful. Industrial levels with skaarj and brutes. It's not very hard, and,
if I'm gonna repeat myself, the Combat Assault Rifle pretty much nullifies
a lot of the challenge in Unreal combat. By design, I guess. It's several maps since
I've been below 100 health. I feel like I'm bullying the Skaarj at this point. If you're just gonna stay in that hallway
the whole time I don't know what you expect. We got some nasty crushers here,
I'm gonna have to be careful. *bursts out laughing* Obviously we start blowing the place up. Look at all these pupae in the factory. The Skaarj are so hard-up for workers because
I've killed so many of them that they're using child labor. And I don't support child labor.
Children are shit at their jobs! I am tearing across this planet again. I'm the danger now. I'm the invader. Even if this section gets
a little spicier towards the end where the levels actually feel like
they were designed for the tight Skaarj combat. There's a ship on top of this tarydium
factory that looks really cool and could be useful for getting off this planet, but despite it looking totally functional
to the point of its engines being on… [PRISONER 849]
I thought I could use it to get off planet.
But it's busted. [CIVVIE]
Sure. Sure it is.
Good excuse. Fuck you. This tarydium plant ends with
what I think is another Skaarj berserker. The bigger the Skaarj get,
the easier they are to take out. They can try to dodge but when
they're big Midwestern boys like this, I have so much room to move around… it takes a while… OK, bye! *Escape from Na Pali* I'm forced to break my streak
of not wasting ammo on titans because the exit won't open
until I've killed this one here. Not the other one in the level, just this one. There are 20 maps in Return to Na Pali
but some of them only last a couple of minutes. Now for a change of scenery,
we're on a tall mountain peak covered in snow. Which brings us two things.
Weird ice physics: I'm not touching the controls right now. And some more : No wait, nevermind…
He just couldn't bare the stress. I absolutely brutalize these Mercenaries with
the wealth of flak cannon ammo I've been picking up. It's not even fair! I charge the teleporter inside the mountain
and go off to our final challenge… Nali Castle. Okay, but it is a castle, and it is Nali, it's just way more open and easier. Like all of Return to Na Pali. We're supposed to ascend a tower
that's guarded by infantry, right here is more in line from
what I was expecting from Unreal Unreal. But it's still Return to Na Pali so there's a door
in the way and they're having trouble opening it. Okay, we're good. Hit a switch to open
the gate to this shuttle, we can leave. But wait… isn't there supposed to be a boss here? I reload my save and he magically re-appears. It's the Skaarj Warlord again. I don't know if this is a regular problem
or a community patch problem. Doesn't matter. TASTE IT, BITCH.
TASTE MY DELICIOUS CHEESE! Oh, man, no ASMD ammo left. Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyye! A couple more Nali fruits for the road. And we're done! [PRISONER 849]
At last! I've reached
the shuttle and prepped her for takeoff. The last battle with the warlord was grueling… And after all that, I still have to deal
with the Bodega Bay in orbit. A shuttle against a UMS Freeman Class cruiser! [CIVVIE]
And we all know how well
you've done against Freemans before. [PRISONER 849]
What a joke! The odds aren't good. [CIVVIE]
He gets into orbit and kamikazes them! No, I'm kidding, that's just
the shuttle clipping into the Bodega Bay. I promise you can't tell in 640x480. What he really does is redirect
some homing missiles back at them, destroying the entire ship. Incredibly unlikely, but still pretty badass, and Prisoner 849's sendoff in the Unreal canon. And, as far as I'm concerned, the end of the Unreal single player journey because, as I've said, many, many times, Unreal II sucks! And that's it, and I ask you, after all that, what do we have? Because it sure isn't Unreal on digital storefronts. Go ****** Unreal, kids, it's probably less than a gig, it'll take 5 minutes. If Epic wanted money for it,
they should have kept it on Steam and GOG. Rapacious fucks. It feels like a bit of culture is being erased, like a historic building is being torn down
to build gaudy condos nobody can afford. My bitching means nothing in the face of Epic games. It means nothing to the half-broken robots
with pieces of my brain held in their gross, misshapen heads. [H4MM3R]
Hey. [CIVVIE]
You know it's true. I'm gonna show all of you. I've been planning something.
Something big. Something I can only put at the end of a video so that
people don't tune out for wasting their time with a skit. Today, you'll all be witness! Oh yeah. It's going down. Right now. EXECUTE. You see, all this time, you never found the bomb. [AX3]
The hydrogen bomb? [CIVVIE]
It's not a hydrogen bomb. Close enough, though.
And I've placed it. In the nutraloaf factory. And I just told 18, my man on the outside, who slipped out unnoticed while you were all dealing
with some kind of demonic possession that you let take me over, for like, a really long time. [AX3]
The information gathered was beneficial
to the department of special corrections. [CIVVIE]
Of course, obviously it was. You didn't think I believed that story about
the Zorro game driving it away. No, that was you. I don't know what you did.
I don't care. I've been in here for FIVE years! And if you're not gonna let me out there, then,
I'm just gonna have to have someone else do the dirty work. So watch now, because you did this. Watch. Uhhh… [H4MM3R]
Yeah, we've known about that plan for a while. [CIVVIE]
What? [AX3]
227 days. [H4MM3R]
There's no nutraloaf factory, we make that here. [AX3]
Stay tuned during the credits for a recipe for delicious
- deception algorithm success - nutraloaf cookies. [CIVVIE]
What about 18? [AX3]
CV-18 was apprehended in July. [CIVVIE]
So who have I been bossing around? [CV-18]
We did it, boss, didn't we? It's all for you! All for you! [CIVVIE]
Are you fucking kidding me? [H4MM3R]
He's been down the hall. [CIVVIE]
But… I was… my plan… [AX3]
You plan was flawed. [H4MM3R]
Your plan sucked and you put it
into publicly available YouTube videos. [PAST CIVVIE]
Send overnight. Ensure package delivered with care. [CIVVIE]
So where's my nuclear bomb? [AX3]
That is classified. [H4MM3R]
Up your butt. [CIVVIE]
Cold room? [H4MM3R]
Nope. [CIVVIE]
Flaying chamber? [H4MM3R]
No. You're going to the clown room. [CIVVIE]
The… What's in the clown room? [H4MM3R]
Desolation. *end credits*
