Engage Live!

foreign foreign foreign you good morning everybody good morning happy father's day happy father's day to all the lovely fathers to anyone who's a stand-in father uncle grandfather and to the single moms you know so absolutely some we have some moms out here who are holding it down by themselves so happy father's day to you as well we are so thankful for you all the sacrifice that you do for us day in and day out absolutely you know sometimes dads get a bad rep for father's day right yeah they sure do show you some extra love on today we appreciate you we absolutely do yes so another thing that you want to do is make sure that we keep you all covered in prayer we know there is a lot going on in this season right so we want to make sure that you guys are leaving your prayer requests in the comments right so there is some there is nothing like corporate prayer right being able to gather as a family to support each other to keep each other lifted in prayer so what do they need to do shania well we want you to comment down below your prayer requests um if it's a little too sensitive make sure that you are able to call the church and let us know exactly what your needs are but you know the bible does instruct us that iron sharpens iron so we want to make sure that we are there for you we want you to understand that we are still here for you that god is still surrounding you that he he would never leave you nor forsake you so go right ahead go ahead right now and drop your prayer requests down below we see them as they are coming in and we will make sure that our staff here sees them and covers you guys in prayer yeah and it's a beautiful thing to see all the people who are in the comments watching along with you leave their requests and to support you and yours prayer is something that you might think you know doesn't do anything right but in actuality god hears them and he answers your prayers and there's nothing like i said before about nothing like corporate prayer to be able to support each other um and all the things that we're going through you know in life we're all going through something right we're all going through each and every day and so when i know i have my sister shania here keeping me covered it just makes the process of it feel a little bit better because sometimes when you're praying alone you feel like you are alone but like again like the bible instructor says where two or three are gathered in the midst he is also there so yes as you're sharing your prayer requests we are praying with you we stand in your need as well as you stand in the need for us you know what i'm saying but also with prayer we want you guys to share this broadcast i don't know where you are watching us from whether you were on facebook or you were on youtube but if you're on youtube copy the link share it to whatever social media sites you have if you're on facebook go ahead and hit the share button the new algorithm with facebook you never know when it's going to pop up on somebody's page it could be later on today it could be early tomorrow but at the time that somebody else sees it you never know what they need to hear and what they are going to get from the broadcast so make sure you're sharing we want you to share today's message because we're getting ready to have the q and a right with bishop and pastor nick talking about today's sermon uh which was as always just awesome we want to make sure that you are getting ready for the q a uh leave your questions in the comments below uh we always have a fun time answering them in this segment and pastor nick you know sometimes he's a little shady just a little bit so you know i can't make no guarantees there he won't be shady but they will be aware but they will always deliver an amazing message they love being able to answer your questions as well and who else does that you know takes the time to speak with you guys you know during this live and to answer your questions and to make sure that you are not only being spiritually fed but that you're being heard right that's so special i think it's special just for the simple fact that when you're in church on sunday morning you know prior to covid you can't raise your hand like you're in a classroom you know what i mean like you can't raise your hand and say bishop hey can you answer this for me but being able to have this opportunity to comment your question down below and being able to have it answered live i think that is a great great takeaway absolutely and you know we like to say like this is the time in between service where we all be you know chatting up and talking about the discussion so we just want to make sure that you guys are tuning in with us and being part of that conversation as well because we love to hear from you all yeah okay so as always yes every single sunday every time every time on engage live yeah we like to have some fun we sure do all right so last week we played who who was it we've played let it preach before that's always been a fun one we let reverend prescott sing the songs that was a good one well today in honor of father's day we're going to be playing a special game called daddy dearest okay my explain to them what daddy dearest so daddy's dearest is there are a number of amazing fathers in the bible they're going to we're going to give you some clues and some context and you have to guess who it is you think you guys can do that i hope they can oh all right we'll find out so if you think you know who it is go ahead and leave the bible character in the comments so that you know we can all play along together okay so let's read the first one you want me to read the first one i got it okay go ahead so it says i'm known by many for fathering many sons that have gone on to do amazing things for many generations and around the world all because i believe in god's promise who am i what is that what is that you know i when i think of that song like father abraham had many abraham so if you guess father abraham you are absolutely correct oh wow abraham okay let me read the second one i'm proof that it doesn't take blood to be a father i love my son undoubtedly and it's been a joy to watch him grow into an amazing young man that he is i enjoy spending time with him making items out of wood hint and to think if i had followed my first instinct to run i would have missed out on so many miraculous let me say that again miraculous moments with them who am i i know i hope you guys get this one who is that let's see what they say in the comments making items out of wood hitting hmm he didn't want to miss so many miraculous moments i imagine okay you ready i think okay this person is joseph father of jesus yes so if you guessed joseph father of jesus you are absolutely correct can you guys think of like all the amazing things that joseph must have seen throughout you know his time with jesus and it must have been really like rewarding as a father because you know how parents already feel now when they're yeah they're making a lot of accomplishments and stuff like that so just to see jesus and be jesus's father i can't that must have been amazing you know bishop's mentioned before like there was a reason why they had to wrap him in the swallowing clothes like he's a baby so i can't imagine the things that joseph must have seen right and like you said like that first instinct if someone and mary said you know he could have run he said um no i'm going to stay here you know the angel came and spoke to me so i'm going to be here and be this child's father so okay that's admirable let's just do this all right third one as a dad you will do anything for your child so when my son was sick for unexplainable reasons i didn't know what to do he was downright possessed i think that's also a hint then i heard of this dude who was visiting the area who was a miracle worker so i brought my son to him i have to admit i was skeptical but i have to overcome my own belief okay your own unbelief okay who is he i think i heard some context clues all right i think that this was the father of the possessed boy you were absolutely correct i guess i know my bible you sure do so we like to have fun here but you know where else we like to have fun we love to have fun our drive in service every saturday at 11 30. you know with it being that we're not able to be in church in person at the moment you know the drive-in service is an excellent way to still come out and have corporate fellowship with all of our bethenny members uh we have the drama ministry that joins us we have the music ministry dance you know it is a full-fledged service that we have here every saturday at 11 30. and that was right here inside of here and just took it straight outside in the back absolutely and guess what if you aren't able to make it to a drive-in on saturday we do re-broadcast that service on mondays at seven so of course we want you to come out in person and to join us for the encounter drive-in service but if you cannot make it still come out on monday at seven and again it's an amazing time there as well to fellowship with people in the comments and just to you know get a good word that bishop every single time delivers a good message every single time yeah but that's not the only thing that we have going on throughout the week we are the church that never that never so much going on so i'm going to try to do this quick right so monday monday we have the recap 5 30 that's with antoine that's with kev that's with desiree and reverend white we also have safe house men ministry at 7 p.m on tuesday wednesday we have our word impact at 7 pm friday you know what it is we have our fresh friday fresh friday so this is this is always a fun time because of course we have our public fresh friday that we have every second friday of the month uh but this virtual kickback that we're having this upcoming friday is uh held privately through zoom where we can come together and just have a good time yeah it's more intimate you know you get to get more of your questions answered in an intimate setting that you wouldn't so you wouldn't put on facebook so then on saturday we have on point at 9 00 a.m and like maya said earlier we have the 11 30 um worship experience outside in the back for our driving center for that guys yes please i promise you it's one it's a wonderful time i absolutely love coming to drive in every single week and then on sunday we have the encounter we have engage lives engaged we have 10 times better we have now so many things let me say for this week 10 times better we're not going to have the next message until july because we have so many fun things going on so we have father's day is now today and then next sunday we have our men's day celebration so every time i hear men's day all i just hear is bishop always saying that men's day is the best day but we already know what it is they just have the chance to you know take from the women but what they don't know is we're already prepared for next year can you hear what i'm saying i mean it's only competition because there's competition that's all i'm going to say but also to make sure that you guys know every saturday at six is when we have our emerging worship service for the teens and young young adults where pastor nick delivers an awesome message i believe he's on the sermon series of what is faith and i'm sure that's a question that we all have and particularly our young people so make sure that you have your kids in at six um be part of the conversation have conversation with them afterwards um and just really use that time as an opportunity to um fellowship with them yeah yeah so yeah i mean men's day it's gonna be a good time we have a guest speakers who are joining us uh darius daniels and bishop samuel blakes they are wonderful and powerful men of god so those are definitely going to be some wonderful conversations i honestly can't wait to hear the both of them even though it is men's day yeah even though it is men's day even though it's wednesday but they do have some powerful speakers yes they do and i'm sure you know even though it's men's day everyone can glean from the message that they're going to share with us so make sure that you invite a friend let them know to tune in we talk about this all the time sharing the message is as easy as clicking the share button it goes out to all of your friends on facebook on youtube wherever you're sharing it there's no end to where how far uh that can go and you never know how much of a blessing is going to be in someone's life right so you know we're not telling you this just to say it click your share button yes so that the people on your friends list can be impacted and inspired by the word yeah okay a lot goes a long way yeah now i know we still have a little bit of time until we get started with this q a discussion i hope you guys watch this morning's message because it's awesome so bishop and pastor nick are here with us now to begin today's discussion thank you so much beth and family we'll see you soon praise the lord praise the lord everybody it's father's day yeah [Laughter] so so glad for our engaged live crew yes praise the lord praise god thank you so much [Laughter] how y'all doing i'll tell you what's happening man good probably as always yeah you too man yeah i remember when you didn't have no kids who you telling i remember those days too man had more money have more oh but but but what yeah when you taught but your money's not your own nope gotta start turning some stuff around sir so because you lose possession of it yeah there it goes he'll start taking care of you working for other people yes sir i felt a little selfish today let me go buy myself something today just okay just a little like what a mercedes or something i wish [Laughter] kids got me thinking getting a little ah not the whole minivan growing too fast yeah just are you growing too fast man oh i have mercy but it's all good though um so we welcome everybody happy father's day to all the brothers out there holding it down and yeah um hope today's message helped yeah i want you mind if we start with the emotional sensitive stuff first jump in sure sure that's kind of how the message flow yeah it did mother's day and father's day are bittersweet days for many people celebrate celebratory yep but also can be bittersweet for those whose mothers were good weren't good or no longer with us same thing with father yep and it's a battle for a lot of people yeah and i think not owning because you talked a lot about comfort not owning your feelings on both days yep to me leads to the day being worse absolutely rather just acknowledging i'm having a rough day yeah but a celebratory day at the same time and i think you have to be able to discover or relate to or admit to or get in contact with that the feelings the the the trying feelings the negative feelings start weeks before yeah um the day comes at a subconscious level right it kind of you know you kind of if you're sensitive to yourself you'll notice you're a little off yep you know um like yesterday was my grandfather's birthday athlete major influence in my life you know and i felt in my heart something significant was happening and i started a couple weeks ago yeah but then um my aunt reminded me yesterday it's daddy's birthday yeah and i said okay that's that's what it was yeah yeah i felt that too like i've opened up facebook oh oh you start you gotta talk now yeah yeah open up facebook and um the first chance i got it old family picture yeah so i saw my dad yeah saw my grandfather wow and from this morning it's funny i didn't even think about any of it no until i saw the picture okay and you're getting that that feeling you feel creeping up to it but then it made sense and it's so funny how my grandfather i told you this my grandfather and my dad are buried right next to each other oh really literally right next to each other okay so me and my brother went down to down south for something and we uh went to the grade first time see my grandfather's headstone angel antoine antoine i can't hear me okay okay okay um and it's funny looking at those pictures today i felt the same thing okay indifference pain in one my father yeah right a mixture of that in that amazing my grandfather grief and joy at the same time absolutely and battling those two emotions it almost felt like i was divided like this absolutely you turned you i turned my head here turn my head here the feelings adjusted based off who i saw okay and um it's it's it's it's interesting how we're complex as human beings yes simplistic and i think some of us battle with uh the tension of joy and pain suffering in good times yeah all mixed in the same vessel at the same time if that well it it really is the ebb and flow of emotions all day long yeah it's just that these particular emotions we are able to identify the cause of it right you know a lot of times i think we go through a whole day up and down and never really identify yep you know why am i feeling this way today but because of the specificity of the day that we're in uh we're able to connect the dots yeah a lot quicker and it's um i you know there's some lessons you learn in life and this connected that lesson you know i'd like to take credit for it but my first minister music taught me how to do that because she would notice if something was going on with me i would not rehearse as well yeah yep and when she was keeping me after to teach me songs she would say you know what's wrong and what was strange about it passing it was not always an overt trigger yeah sometimes it was something subtle something someone said something i thought something i heard on the radio yeah that triggered a process that day that i had to become very adept at recognizing what was triggering an emotion i was having during the day yep absol absolutely yeah finding the source okay now that i know what it is i can't let it stop me from doing what i got to do yeah and learn as a man you said for years we learn to work wounded that's right scarred that's right in battle you have to you you have to you can't survive this thing you know um this this thought of you know life is always easy it's not no i i think that unfortunately for us or fortunately for us avoidance of stress diminishes our maturity yep you know that's the way god created us that we're we respond better to the weight of responsibility and it's show me a strong man a real strong man not an angry man yeah show me a man of strength who's versatile who can do things who adapts to situations and i'll show you someone who has consistency yep uh strength and is self-aware yeah someone that welcomes responsibility yep show me a guy considered weak and you're shown out invariably he'll be a man that avoids responsibility avoids accountability avoid stress just you know i don't i don't want to you cannot grow a man can grow yeah without the uh the strengthening assignment of responsibility yep yeah you have to lean into it absolutely deal with it process it work on it yeah i think the good thing that you're teaching about is before it was just some some guys back they would just man up deal with it yeah versus now it's like let's process all while you're doing it i think before it was loud just bury it be a man act tough and never address it and then it comes back again yep like the night of the living dead absolutely i i can think of some men when i was a child i thought they were so strong they were just quiet until i got until i got older i was like you are a child on the inside work hard you know present the strength i mean great work ethic but emotionally yeah was like a child it amazed me you know silent yeah and that's i think silent is different than quiet yeah to me quiet as you have something to say but you may not do it yeah silent means you may not know what to say or how to deal with it yes i'm not sure that we have been i'm sure of this we have not been educated if you will wisdom has not been shared with us how to unravel our own feelings yep and turn that into a productive conversation yes i don't think we do that not at all not at all and i think that that part of the dilemma for men in their relationships with women is that i think a lot of women in my counseling experience are used to expressing their emotions but not coming into contact with why they feel the way they feel okay it so the feeling is the validation for the mindset right rather than finding the mindset that will validate the feeling okay if that makes sense yeah okay wow okay we forgot ask questions y'all my is over there uh get the questions so so you talked a lot about comfort up front which is good because god is a comforting god uh didn't give the illusion that um you know we wouldn't we that that god couldn't comfort us or we would have days where we wouldn't need comfort uh so that comfort part led into the father's blessing yes sir you know and the importance of the world of father speaking life into their children yeah and the cool thing is scripture shows us whether it's your biological father or a spiritual father god gives you both to speak life into you and i think that's the example that um esau and isaac represent both natural and spiritual but i'm not sure that uh i'm not isaac is speaking out of his faith and relationship and experience with god and the generational faith and generational experiences told to him he's speaking out of that wealth of understanding a relationship so a man cannot divinely prophetically speak over his child without faith and without that relationship with god yeah but that relationship will produce words because i know god to do this so i have my authorized to speak god's word yeah over you and i'm not i'm i'm we have a tendency to do the negative yeah but i don't understand i don't think we have the tendency to think we have the authority to criticize yep but somehow it escapes us yeah that we also have the authority to speak blessing and future and destiny yes into the life of a child and i like how you brought that experience up i remember when we did the um the kids the teenagers two fridays a month i believe working with them even though i was teaching the youth i understood there was something that i could not give them okay so that's why i talked to you about creating the group okay because i don't have the wealth of fathering pastoring and life experience okay that you i could be their instructor at the time but i couldn't be their father at the time okay you know what i'm saying yeah but you were self-aware enough to admit that yep and then had control enough of ego to say i need to go sit in here and learn this myself when a lot of us when we're in that position rather than seek help yeah we'll try to create yep with words but we don't have the experience uh to substantiate yeah and it's uh so we end up giving our those around us uh empty words yep uh conversation rather than an impartation yes and that's what fathers are designed to do uh in the right context a man of faith can impart to his children yeah yep and you're right i attended those classes because i was learning stuff from it i was learning how to father but also being fathered at the same time yeah in those moments yeah i think every man like you said has to know what they can and can't do and be secure enough to say you know what let me bring somebody else in to compensate for what i lack and and i think we we tend to try to impart or prophesy based on the experience we have with the world yeah so we only give our children a partial understanding of how things work so as an individual faith in your and your imparting kingdom that includes the natural experience yeah with the spiritual experience right and i'm not sure we're doing that enough enough yeah you know because the the children are supposed to animate the words that you speak to them absolutely and we saw those kids get better every single month develop grow develop and grow because they were listening to a voice of somebody that imparted god kingdom faith perspective life was more honed in and growth happened uh and it's biblical jacob cursed eat levi and the other son because they raged out and killed all these people right and he said cursed are you and da da in genesis 49 and then later on moses who is not the father he is a levite but moses says who's going to stand for the god for the lord that's right levi the tribe levi said yo the golden calf we're going to stand for god and moses speaks a word and a cursed people becomes the priest of the nation yeah man because a spiritual father spoke new life in them that reversed what their natural father spoke of here wonderful look and that's possible that's a wonderful thing and every sunday when you're hearing the father speak to you it's reversing what we were taught growing up when necessary and i think the body of christ would um would benefit greatly if we understood that every time we're in the assigned place that god has sent us that our chief our goal that day is to receive an impartation especially from the word of god yeah because the word is an impartation yeah and when it's taught when it's taught it and i love preaching but it is the teaching that produces the impartation yeah because the spirit follows the word of god yeah uh my word is spirit in his life so we we have an opportunity every time we come together to talk about biblical things and principles and hear teach hear preaching the teaching the word of god but primarily teaching the word of god that that becomes the impartation and i believe that's why when the word is taught the power to heal is present because it sets the stage for an impartation from the holy ghost absolutely okay sorry you got questions be ready the first question is i am often surprised that even though my father was absent i miss him on father's day anyway how do i learn to release the memory of someone who was never there well i i think that um the first step has already been taken that there is a sadness and that's an admission uh the problem is she's trying to do something impossible yeah which is release the memory um what you want is the memory but you don't want the negative influence of the memory so in order to do that and this sounds kind of counterintuitive she's going to have to forgive him for being absent and once that happens that's the release from influence not release from the memory so we we remember a lot of things but it is really up to us whether we want to let that memory negatively influence our thinking so in the in the kingdom of god forgiveness is that thing that releases me from the influence of a negative individual yep i have made some mistakes with my family especially my children how can i show them i am a changed man and want to do better wow well um i think time works because it was going back to the discussion you guys had on thursday would be your father yeah a lot of discussion was time consistency and understanding that you can't fix what you did right but you can work where you're going right a lot of men jump right in there i'm your father listen to me rather than let's model this consistent behavior let's build a relationship first and especially if your kids are grown now you're going to be more of a father slash friend if you've been going for a long time yeah you know and most people aren't patient enough to let the relationship build so that influence what's that many men want to re-enter their children's lives at the point that they left them yup so if i left and you were a toddler i think i can come back and reign as a father in that father toddler mindset but it doesn't work that way but the first thing that's going to work with his is apologize if there is no apology there will be no conversation with integrity yep and then after that you know people have a right once you've apologized to look for whether you're going to be a repeater so there's got to be a consistency in the in the promise because the forgiveness is not just to get by an issue the forgiveness is really asking for another opportunity yeah to do the right thing yep and if we do that many men won't apologize and that can clear a lot of stuff absolutely but then you got to perform perform yup and give the person the chance to open up sometimes the offender wants to dictate the healing process of the offended offended one i i know you give the person title i know in my own experience that you don't know what information has fed yeah the attitude so you have to find out you know why do you feel that way yeah because sometimes adults will paint pictures for the children that are not true yeah man because it becomes who's on whose side so so you have to find out okay what were you told about this yeah because a lot of times adults in my generation adults did not discuss the details of difficulties with children so they kind of had to listen to whoever had some information and many times they were wrong absolutely absolutely all right this question is from sid on facebook she said that she watched an interview the other day where a man was saying that women have ruined men trying to protect them for historical reasons from terror and trauma of racism how do you encourage and mentor men who have not been raised in power as a man first of all this is a family and religious program right so i must monitor my response okay because something something worldly was about um the bible calls that scuba waste material women did not ruin men that's right that's right so that that has become the the fallback for a lot of guys i'm like i am because a woman may be this way and it's just as offensive as women saying i'm like i am because men have made me this way so neither one of those is acceptable um i hadn't heard that one in a long time i know i know so i think that first off taking responsibility for my own development because the bible says as a man thinketh in his heart so is he the individual that we are at this very moment is the product of our thinking and our doing watch this to validate our thinking so what we have to do is get back to basics and take full responsibility and accountability for my own actions and not blame my responses because blame is usually a desire to shift the responsibility to someone else this is biblical adam and eve mess up in the garden as soon as god gets there to come ask him some questions he says the woman you gave me and she says the serpent made me do it so blame is a hope to shift responsibility to someone else so he's got to get all that cleared out before any real recovery can start i am a new father and am loving it but i am scared because my dad was not in my life how do i learn to not create the negative patterns of my father two things i think real basic yeah i had the same situation and what i did is i took the negative example of my father as a lesson in what not to do yes sir rather than internalize that thing and allow them to fester and get me all twisted up i said okay that's not what i'm going to be yeah that was the first step but the big thing that happened was when i got saved and started reading that bible and found out there was a blueprint for fatherhood in the bible yeah i went at it full till yep so understanding this is not what i want to be based on the example that he had to live through and then taking the word of god and really substantiating that blueprint yeah and he'll he'll do fine yeah i am a single mother and feel guilty that my children are without their father is there anything i can do to fill this void for them yeah it is uh understand that in her is the ability to compensate for many things that they lack because of a father mothers are not defenseless raising their kids by themselves fathers are not defenseless raising their children by themselves there is an element of understanding that god has created in all of us that kind of crosses over yeah that allows us to be caring when people think we can't be sensitive when we think we can't be strong whenever it was all god wraps it up in an individual the next thing that happens is that there are if there are no good examples in the family in the extended family then the next thing you look for is some kind of relationship with a mature pastoral authority that can help add to what the single mother is bringing to the table we do it all the time do it all the time it's it's it's not it's it's daunting and it's if you look at it future but it really is the ability to do it is there god is ingrained in her he's given it to her and then he's provided help around her that can help supplement her ability to raise the voice my mom raised us by herself she didn't get married again until i was 28 years old 29 maybe 30 you know so that was from fourth grade i mean first grade fourth grade to 30 years old she was single raised us you know she just yes she got tough when she had that no yeah yeah that's your boys boy gotta convince him every now and then oh yeah gotta convince him that's all i have at the moment okay okay um so so do you think that um many fathers just don't know that their words carry a spirit they'll carry either the spirit of god or the spirit of the world and we have to be very careful with the words that we use yes towards our children because according to the bible whatever you sow that's what you'll reap if i see my words as seeds these are the words i'm planting in my children yep so if i'm calling them curse words what kind of harvest do you think you're going to get later right if i'm calling them stupid and what kind of harvest do you think you're going to get later those words must produce a response yep and we have to be careful because we're not we're not talking to a present we're talking to a future yep that should change your conversation absolutely and you're right most parents don't think future it's like i got a three-year-old now no i'm raising a young man or a young woman what i have to do now to prep them for absolutely it's strategic kids are not just oh lovey-dovey you got all that pie too but i want to raise this because that's a successful adult you know better than honestly better than me i want my kids better than me at the age that i am now someone that's going to make it in the world in the marketplace and society yeah and that starts with how we we our job is to sow things into the junk i remember we did i did a video with um with chandler when he was about maybe three years old maybe four and it was for lack of a title what men do oh yeah yeah yeah and that thing exploded but he and right now he'll tell me that men don't do that to them no son they don't yeah you know men do this yes son that's what they do yeah you know so it starts early the framework is there he's still going to be a kid yep but the framework is there yep so that train up a child thing really stands out absolutely you know my son still asks he's like oh you're leaving to go to work now like yes let me have a conversation i'll be back but you like to eat right you like clothes right i know that's right right way that's available you can get it and i've instilled in enchantment men work yep men work men work and it's in it's it's in its head now yep that men work i get it yeah because i want him to have that idea absolutely you know not some idea he's picked up somewhere else absolutely men hustle yeah yeah and as kids you start to grow up and unders hopefully understands when he becomes a father hopefully one day that it's not always easy leave the house when they're begging stay home it's hard it's hard to leave you know but but but i heard michelle obama say this because you know of course president obama was always traveling when the kids were young when he's a senator and her whole thing was i tried to train them that when he was leaving she tried to train her kid he was leaving celebrate him miss him okay but she was teaching them the type of lifestyle that their father would have absolutely so miss him and that's fine you're gonna cry and all those things while he's gone but understand this is what he has to do to be your father and to help all these people yeah sorry so this question is from sarah how do i heal when your father admits he doesn't want to be part of your life because his wife doesn't want him to here goes i always get asked a question that's going to get me some hot water i think the dynamic of a man or a woman basically saying if you want me you can't have them it's a distinct problem right from the game yes sir but it normally comes from the other person's lack of and not understanding i i i had a friend years ago they told me they thought me and my mom were too close i didn't understand it until i went to our house and saw the relationship between her and her mother so she had no context of understanding a strong love relationship between parent and child yep so what she's revealing is she has nothing to refer to except her own feeling that what i see you giving that person is what i want focused on me and i might as well throw the relationship thing up in there so you're going with this individual you all got a relationship you're the life of party and he's very quiet the whole time you all are just dating he's fine with that then you become serious all of a sudden he's threatened by the fact that everybody knows you all right so the psychological thing was i want all that i see you getting and focusing on other people to now be focused entirely on me which means you've got to give up who you are to be what they want you to be and i think that's too much of a sacrifice we compromise and we sacrifice certain things but you you're not going to tell me i was outgoing when you met me and you liked that and now that we're together you hate my being outgoing yeah it doesn't work one more question i have is my father was absent in my life but wants me to be but wants to be present in the lives of my children i know i should not block that relationship but it upsets me when i was not given the same opportunity how do i heal from my wounds so that my children can know their grandfather he's probably not the same man he was unfortunately most of our parents were experimenting with us and some did not do well and some people were were made themselves parents when they were not parental or they sired but could not father they they birthed but could not mother so so you find them trying to manage child parent relationships without the wisdom yeah of having loved themselves so what she has to do is accept the fact that when she was in his life he didn't have it he may have it now so you don't want to bend it you don't want to deny your gran your children the benefit of that love but here comes the added benefit is going to be the adult adult relationship between her and her father that could develop and out of that adult adult relationship will morph into an adult parent relationship but she's going to scream for a while the little girl's going to ask for the relationship she never had yeah and both of them are past that point yep yep yep now um you got one more should we go let's follow this day whatever we can do we can do one more time okay go ahead um first of all happy father's day to the both of you thank you thank you i am learning to be a man of god but still struggle with worldly temptations what can i do in those moments of struggle well i think that's normal it's normal right yeah you're a christian you're a human being yeah yeah it's normal it's normal it's just yeah everything you feel you don't have to do yep it's a simple principle just because i'm feeling it doesn't mean i have to do it it's not we over complicate these things you know you put your hand on the hot stove you pull it off mm-hmm you don't stand there and say i wonder how bad this is going to be you pull it off yeah so so it's simple it's as simple as that's not good i'm not doing that yeah yep but you can't you have to have that conversation with yourself so he can overcome this yeah he's over complicating it yeah got it he got more yeah one more how can i speak the correct words to my daughter and son letting them know not having a father in their lives and will hurt their and will hurt and their hurt will never go away and my father never wanted me is this a generational curse i i didn't understand so the first question was more about being real with your kids about their father-in-law i think so the yes and then is it a generational curse that i guess their fathers have been present in their life but she said something about her parent her father not being there for her yes but i think i think the first one and i'm sure you could've tested the same thing i'm glad that my mom was real to me about the condition of my father absolutely she never downed him never made him look bad like talk crosstalk or anything like that but she was realistic look you thought your dad's on drugs so it gave us a perspective gave us an expectation yeah my dad my dad was so demonstrative yeah it didn't happen so depending on how you receive the message yeah yeah go ahead no no but i want you but i think i think there is some real conversations you have to have with your children a certain oh yeah you can't just you can't say he's prince arthur yeah when they see he's not showing up yep yep you know you have to have a conversation at their level about you know some people make promises and don't keep them they understand that piece some people say they're going to do a thing and don't do it they understand that but you start going into you know the ramifications of the social impact that being a black man or a white man or a society kids are not going to absorb that at all not at all you know so rather than try to satisfy your own philosophical agenda talk to the kids in a way they understand people break promises yeah say they're going to do things they don't think they don't do sometimes people are given a gift and they break it like when i gave you the toy you didn't treat it right they get that yeah they get there yeah okay we're they're screaming for their time that's all you got that's all you got all right we're going to transit you want to stay up here see you ain't gonna go back down there oh okay all right you wanna let them come here yeah they go down okay come on y'all okay come on let's go we're working we got a short camera crew today so excuse us as we aren't as uh you know professional as we usually are so bye what's going on everybody listen listen that discussion was hilarious but also informative and life-changing gotta love bishop gotta love passing they know how to have fun they know how to divide into like exactly like they know how to do this so well and it was it listen i can't really like go into everything the one thing that did stick out to me though bishop was talking about um you know being to your children with your father wasn't to you that right there i think that's probably the best example exactly that is worth the whole father's day to me i'm just like wow um you guys let us know in the chat what was your favorite part of the service and uh you know let us know throw some things in the chat and what about you shania oh my favorite part um being a product of a mixed family understanding both sides biologically and unbiological seeing what my father my stepfather has been doing for me i don't even reference him as my stepfather that is my father but also understanding the other end of what a biological father would he when he's absent and what it means for you and how you can overcome that that was definitely yeah a good take away from me so we had an incredible service today you know bishop is still in chestnut checkers we've been in it since february and i know it's been life-changing and the worship has been going on so it's time for one of my favorite parts of engage live where we talk about the service where we talk about what is our favorite part of the service what stick out to me i would say the ma the message is number one for me but the worship was on point today worship was on point definitely one point i love to say that i am a worship kid like if you get in my car all you ever will hear playing is worship music so the worship for me especially after the week that i had with work and a lot of other things that were going on in my personal life the worship for me yeah that's what did it this morning yeah yeah i mean it's nothing like worship and worship is just it just gets you there so we hope you know you guys enjoyed service let us know in the chat also what uh what you liked in the in the service so we have an engage question and it is time for that so the engaged question is what's the one thing your father or father figure taught you that changed your life forever you want to go first so you want me to go first you go ahead all right so i already touched on it a little bit earlier but i think that one thing that my father has definitely taught me is you know how to be present how a man is supposed to treat you what is what's he supposed to do and stuff like that yeah but on the other end what my biological father taught me is how i want my future husband how he's going to treat my future kids so you're not going to be absent and if that's something that you want to do then you're not for me that's good that's good that is good um for me i want to say my father figures um but the main one i'll highlight because he's the man uh his bishop he taught me to you know be fair with everybody but sacrifice for a few because when i first got into the church i was always just doing doing doing doing doing he said you can't do that yeah he said you have to be fair with everybody let them know what you can and cannot do but you extend yourself you sacrifice yourself for a few people and that has freed me up to be like no and not being uh so you let you guys also let us know this is a lot of back and forth with you guys you guys let us know in the chat what is one of the things your father or father figure taught you to change your life forever after all it is father's day and if you want to be fancy go ahead and throw that in the card and the text message in the video chat and let that father figure know uh it would not be engaged live if we did not pray you guys out we know that there was sacrifice we know that you guys had put prayer requests and a lot of things are tough right now because some fathers were absent some people fathers have gone on to be with the lord and we know that this day is bittersweet but god is good so we're going to pray and we're going to let you guys enjoy the rest of your father's day so father we thank you right now for this moment this opportunity to just stand before you in your presence [Music] your presence thank you lord for all that you've done for us mercy your grace your favor upon our lives thank you for being father the number one father who has looked after us who has took care of us all the days of our lives whether we knew it or not right now god we pray for those that may be grieving the loss of the father that has transitioned into glory but also grieving the loss of the father who was just absent who just wasn't able to be that father god give them strength lord encourage them give them that that wisdom and endurance that peace right now to keep going and to keep remembering and to keep loving yes help us not to be scarred help us not to be hurt help us not to be damaged from this lord we trust you and we know that you're able to do it now god we pray for every request every business every career all health problems yes we ask you god to meet those needs in the name of jesus according to your riches in glory and now god bless the rest of this service that's about to happen at 11 o'clock let someone be saved let someone unite with the church and let someone let a backslider come home in jesus name we pray amen amen all right i am deacon antoine and i am shania adrenan and we hope you feel engaged you

Channel: Bethany Baptist Church

Views: 219

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Bethany, baptist, church, David Evans

Id: WyKz2vj1ths

Length: 57min 54sec (3474 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 20 2021