Don Rickles Craig Ferguson 25/7-2011

welcome back my only guest this evening as one of the greatest comedians of all time he would tell you he was the greatest comedian of all time I'd say he's one of the greatest comedians of all time all right he's a great video he's got stand up to her underway August the 6th he's playing Mohegan Sun August the 20th they are kada Theatre in st. Charles Illinois and then September the 16th and 17th he's in Vancouver the lights just go over there the lights changed there but didn't he know but a lot with me they dad they dead good night Jeff yes you did yes take a look at that mr. warm for legend that has Don Rickles ever had all right I was good those guys know better it sounds like they're glad to see ya I'm still a little I don't know but you don't have to yell I'm right on top you yeah I don't know I like to make sure you can hear me okay that's it for me I like that you're wearing tweed is that tweed what are you blind this is a tweeters right no I'm not in the common positions a jacket I pay for it I at it it's nice to eat Jack I'm sorry to give you a compliment that's all geez you're getting out of control I'm sorry I'm a little nervous I'm overconfident worried this show is gonna stay on as long as I say so that's great and nice to see you folks cuz you know you work a lot of shows and suppose it's in the dark you know you don't see the people yeah but here you see the people yeah maybe we should be in the dome no no no I docked up put him down they're all dressed pretty bad look at this guy sitting here in his underwear love when I come in with the jeans hey Rose what time you show go on you get the class you get the class that scratchy suggested well I got a fungus it's from the Navy don't worry about this is CBS buddy you can't be scratching yourself like that I can do whatever I want yes you can yes you can you came into my dressing when I got tix for crying out loud yeah we'll do that again No so annoyed yeah no come on hey listen night the the time doctor all right you're going out and play in the Mohegan Sun oh yeah no we can send those Indian places are great you know now be careful please nah they're crazy they're great people especially in the shows on a Cuba I don't mind to do the show but you know the audience they're all sending along CBS no way endorses the views of mr. Rickles or any of the don't worry with your job you're shaky don't worry about it they're gonna dump you and it's over don't worry about you know yet can I talk I'm a guest a bigger part the hell is this an ornament I'm slowly he's got a fight to talk with this guy nice to see are you Japanese Chucky's are you Chinese oh we Jews we love you especially on Sunday knock it off knock it off why I can talk China very pretty girls you can't talk to the Chinese like that we were the money long as they keep doin the laundry everything's all hey hey like he says the money you're paying that's a funny joke she kind of worried about so it's long as you talk to me about this doing the standards bag I'll talk to you all right well I'm just saying though I'm worried about you've got hectic schedule you got you know you guys are you know you're working Mohegan Sun is great Tom look Tom Cantone he's he's the big big guy you don't know him he's nice and I don't another big stands out in Franklin Nick get work Nicky you give him a cookie and it goes away real panttiere do you still enjoy it you still enjoy doing the stand-up well sure it really gives the wife a chance to put on the jewelry and stand in the house ago huh sure I you know what it's the traveling you're a pilot now yeah well I've been a pilot for a while but I don't fly myself as well you can bet your bird I'm not gonna go with you I know I didn't flying in the Navy no you did some flying no I think I know Jews don't fly in the Navy we just stand on the airport sir here buy me a plane no I wasn't I was uh I was in World War two too big no no no your you were in island walking around on gotta get him I've never even been to Ireland I'm not from Ireland I've never been out where you from I'm from Scotland what's that spell er yes it's better around all day long all right charlie pumping up pumping your bagpipes get a day job but right out I'm an American now let me see a paper salad even though I gotta tattoo I gotta touch him I gotta tattoo right don't I tattoos sailors that shows like it like it got a lot of class don't worry about the tattoos you don't need the tattoos you're a big star now hide the tattoo in the Navy when a guy had a tattoo is supposed to be tough you're not tough like met your backstage you know you you're a nice guy with a lot of class you know and you got a wonderful back West Show you're babe oh yeah yeah my six month old baby Jenna has a wonderful baby and the kids like this you know it's adorable you know what's amazing though I mean I mean this was the greatest deal of respect he looks exactly like you right in fact it was a Tuesday night hey no no god bless its awhile and Megan your wife is beautiful really yes I'm she's very bad ice like clearly but uh do you know she has no sense of smell what do you do sit in a bed oh my god I love you honey but you stink no no anyway she has no sense of smell she can't smell when I smell she had some kind of accident when she was a kid she can't smell anything so what that's good news for a guy like me put her an institution to forget about her fitness can't smell all the way this conversations going I went out some she states which is that stupid joke to say and you call it a flower how she smells I'm not here to discuss your wife's I I gene I'm here to discuss why you're still on the air well it's clearly an oversight things go late at night you should buy this by the way you're doing so well I'm very happy for you I really mean that is really did you ever did you ever in your life work with a partner did you ever have a like a buddy or a sidekick or something you did your act with not somebody to give her a walk around behind me and check us on you're trying to pick me off or something like that yeah no no I've always been alone because some greatness doesn't need a partner that's what I try I just sit and I take a shower and the water runs up I go my god Who am I huh the other equipment just goes in there when you're married 46 years the wife says I'm in love and I say I am - give me a minute I gotta go in the other room and think about it anyway uh 46 years married use I'd say hazing you'll see her out on Hollywood Boulevard Sarah anyway uh I care about of being a hooker and all that stuff I knew your wife's very dignified and classy woman now you don't know when you're alone boy you don't know when she does that bathrobe trick forget about it she does the bathroom why are you getting horny what's the matter with you you told me about the buzz no it said we got class 46 do you make love often you see I give him a little sex in the wind he went to meet you wet your pants just then I was gonna say on my owner with somebody else that's all I was I gonna ask now sexes we'd see you young people remember sex is beautiful but the basis is to be a friend and to care about each other and to wake up in the morning take a pop but then forget about it alone but don't base your whole life on boom boom boom you know I haven't and that's why this leg don't work do you mind if we take a commercial break hey it's your show do whatever you want all right we're taking a commercial break we'll be right back by the bank I'm here with the legendary don't wrinkles are you all right being code Legendary's okay but uh mine as long as I'm alive my god you know yeah I am now 85 years young and I feel good any father no you just died you just started on the on the Tweety the the Twitter yeah well Barbara that's my wife you'll meet her later she's out in the hold on got a minute you walk up and talk to us only broad lonely broad anyway but no I I just got into I know you're into that interesting it's it's a good thing for you and I've it's it to do these tweets it's new to me but it it keeps the head going and I write some funny stuff hopefully and I just joined the tweet and I'm very excited about it now what's your Tweety handle has had Don Rickles that's it dawn don't rekkles dun dun dun dun dun dun rivers its dun dun dun I don't think it's malleable Bob I mean alibi-bar Malibu Bob's the gut never mind ability to get pissed off at me I'm just my so it's better bring a Malibu Bob in my soul Nazi guys what a guy no I I don't know too much about it because it's the beginning for me but I but I'm well I'm gonna help you is what I'm saying oh ok I hope ya got some treaties here oh good and then some people have eyes ask me questions on the Tweety boy oh boy why don't you talk to him yet no I don't talk to dummies how are you done hey hey like I'm a big fan of your earlier work thank for the talkies I need Gavin god bless you yeah yeah be careful where he's he's he's spiteful he doesn't have the balls look I got you I mean to dress up like that you need the job I mean God bless you know you're very good in this are you really on sir your religions I loved you in Toy Story oh I'm thinking of Tom Hanks until we got all that's not to get along you know one plug I've been nice but the man's trying to make this turn on me no you're right you were being nice he was being untagging it I can have him unplugged now leave my Lonnie did Frank ever say that to you I can have am I right though you know who I'm talking about Frank Sinatra Resta so he was he was the best he you brought him in that I adored he was grating and if he were here tonight he would break him up yeah well anyway I knew that no he Sinatra was somebody special and I in fact I'm gonna work with his with his son which I'm looking for ranked junior right with his orchestra and stuff what Ben we're looking forward to what were you gonna be you gonna be singing no no I'm gonna be tap dancing in the hall Matt it was a perfectly legitimate question what a dump Tambor say hell is wrong with you I was asking you a perfectly legitimate question don't stay me Craig don't stay me why would I get out there comedians suppose supposedly yeah I'm not a I'm not a singer I do music and so forth but working with his his son is gonna be a big kick for me you must have known him since he was very small oh yeah I know when wet he was kidnapped once oh yeah that's well yeah wouldn't you know you know if it was me you'd see me now you know you know why they let him go why I heard him humming in trunk anyway our that's a deep story the kid was in the trunk they're gonna find them and end them hey don't vote on these stuff don't vote on nothing all right here's another Tweety that's your man know about that seat I don't know who you are with your no man anyway uh no how old a man are you what 62 go to a rest home for $60 guess that's gonna be sit down and join himself is that the wife good luck yeah hey hey this one this is from Oscar and McKinney in Texas all right you ready sure dear Craig and Dawn and Jeff I recently started dyeing my hair to combat a few grace everyone says it is noticeable should I stop you ever dye your hair never why not because I'm handsome what do I have to die on my head hey how's your answer all right this is from mark in Fort Lauderdale you spend a lot of time down in Florida there you've been down there hey that's what when when god says it's time up that's where juegos he sits up in heaven gone our gang Fort Lauderdale come on you don't know about that that I do know about that I've been Miami Beach that's where my mother rest her soul she's the I'll sit down sit on the boardwalk and say look at the Sun look at the sky look at the Sun and then she say where's my check anyway uh no she was a great lady I brought that up just to keep her name alive anyway you ready for another one here's one from Louisville Kentucky you ever been to Louisville yeah you know how to say it properly you don't say it Louisville you say no you know what you say Louisville what ah dear Greg and Jennifer date a minute that's a covering mark who else would say something like that here's what isn't a good one that's a good one for you your no I mean there's no respect you're a slightly older gentleman so you have some advice here okay okay it's from a young lady she says my younger sister is seeing a guy who doesn't run with the right crowd how do I kindly tell her to find a nicer guy should she run with the bad crowd the young lady or no if she's a hooker she can run on a bad crowd she's yes yes yes I think that's fine the nice that's a reasonable answer if she's a hooker she can run with a bun that's right what else is there for cry table yeah exactly alright here's another one dude really getting on my nerves yeah my girlfriend saw a few texts from an ex that were rather inappropriate how you wouldn't understand you know well like I you just give me a hard time about that alright d right Craig and Jeff and guests oh well they are I'm 29 and running for local office my parents have said that I can't count on their vote how big of an insult is this well I would say go in your room put the covers over your head and have a game hello I know with these questions my love just I'm tryna cuz people are gonna ask you stuff on the Trisha parade yeah yeah I don't I'm here every time no I think it's great though that people this week the tweet is a good thing because it gives people a chance to to let our invent and talk about things and it's a great thing to do and that's where I'm gonna give it up don't you want I think you should get a lot of far many followers of you go already I think 25 25,000 25,000 ready you're just like you we don't lab well I just started I just really yeah yeah well I thought and you see the response thanks for wishing me luck yeah I said I said twenty-five thousand and this whole section went well you know they're a little scared of you you've been quiet good I'm a friend look at look at all you will you came and you stood out in line like you're gonna see a big thing you stood out there all day long get jobs to work do something this kid I love the way they dress up this is real California the kid down down the aisle there with the sandals with it with it with it with the Jesus the Jesus shoes and and the Mickey Mouse t-shirt look at this guy and the white pins just leave it that's enough done again when you think it's trick and treat I'm gonna go we gotta did Don Rickles everyone you

Channel: Archy Moz

Views: 282,284

Rating: 4.8441782 out of 5

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Id: ISiwzvMgswA

Length: 17min 21sec (1041 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 28 2016