TLLS Craig Ferguson - 2013.01.08 - Billy Connolly

my first guest tonight is a brilliant actor a fantastic comedian he's a legend from the great country of Scotland which is like oh very nice and he's a fantastic new film called quartet which opens in New York and Los Angeles then Friday and then it goes nationwide on January the 25th take a look at this Williams please Phillie you look fantastic but there's a snake around your neck oh yeah look there's that snake I know so II think my my daughter's boyfriend made the ex-boyfriend as it happens huh and that's gonna be a bit awkward then doesn't she have something to say about you were in promoting his jewelry she suddenly took to it a couple of weeks ago in a Warner everyday I don't know what's happening to man is it in any way related to a snake or a zit no it's just a felicitous Nick it feels Sneaky's feels a bit sneaky but doesn't have that penis sort of feeling let me get that's a little bit as 11 feet as he feels sneaks at a bit Pina si I have no idea what you say I dare you are you postulating the idea that snakes are in somewhere died Freudian noises I made a film with a with Jim Carrey with a snake run my neck with Lemony Snicket I was in that film oh you and while I was cut off by was there I said about yeah I was there and then they cut me out it was one of the high points of my I remember you were yeah you were sleeping in a wheelbarrow when I met you yeah that's right I was I was dressed as half a lady half a gentleman yes anyway you were in that film you had a snake around you're now a much bigger one guy I enough and I thought this feels like a huge penis for me this is a sad day for me look in a movie you make it here well wait it was there any point in your life where you'd had a huge penis around her neck and no one there was a day when I had another snake around my neck I remember it was you would you would go to prison for this no but I was it then let me ask you a question just think if you go to press release now is it wise to tell the story no understand it's a very simple thing it was at the art galleries in Glasgow I've been there for a very real occasion they had a reptile exhibition real reptiles in it and I was there with my sister and most people go to see the art we went for a slide though the floors our mouth floors are again you can take a shoes and shoes or jewelry along it Andy we were gonna pass the reptiles and a guy said you like snakes and I said well yeah and he went poof and put a snake around my neck and I'd almost had a coronary so you actually had her to sneak around your neck as a child amazed me that it wasn't slay me it was it was no it feels like that actually it feels like that little thing now yeah yeah and we will we return to the yes we return congratulations on this film I saw the the reviews for it when I was in Bret I was in Scotland or qualities and everyone's going crazy for it they love it it's using all there's a mucky-muck actors is that does that's the hardest bit of it to accept and a driver all at that when you look at the lineup you know and they said it we're going to get Albert Finney but is it was ill and then we're going to get Peter O'Toole is that the nice thing to say to you well you're doing like we wanted someone else but you're gonna do Billy that'll be fine well you thought you thought I looked too young you do have nice hair I will admit her you look like you'd be great if you had a wind machine do you have an open top car do you have a convertible no you should because you look great driving done all the convertibles as you're here blows the wrong way you can't force it on wax in the eyes you can have this it's one of the great disappointments our convertible shoot blow back what doesn't I'm crushed ice wheel it's true no I believe I know what I think about I go oh yeah that's always been a great disappointment for me as well what's left Billy what's left and I could never drive for my arm Ranma girlfriend either you know as always yeah nearly killing each other well you know I could not be I've never be good at those cool things well that's why you become a comedian no I mean clearly you can't I mean if you're not you don't know yeah yeah it's a desperate desire to appear more confident than you actually are for example the sentence I'm into having trouble with right now I feel like if I keep opening and closing my hands things will be alright but secretly oh very much yeah have you meet did you were you over in the old side for yes I was a very quiet Christmas for my my daughters and my grandchildren and your daughter's ex-boyfriend or was he no and this season on the scene he's not allowed there anymore did you wear the necklace about your daughter how's that yeah clearly yeah why wouldn't you it's great um and I we had a very quiet time compared to the normal a Scottish New Year that I used to have when I was a drinker go yeah well well you would wake up in a ho she didn't recognize with bars on the window and armed guard and one shoe yeah and you have to you have to go there and home with one shoe on oh I used to always wake up in buildling Drive in Glasgow really yeah buildling driving class I've never been there I don't have any family or friends there but at least half a dozen new years I woke up and bills and drive I think I used to get into taxis go puzzle drive take me there yeah there's nothing much in bills landrum well I'm there if you get me at the right time come and see hello I'll be there first Daniel II they used to go from house to house and Scotland first footing you know what they call it first fruiting like you were the first fruit over the threshold of the house after midnight midnight thing but now they don't do it you see because in the old days everybody had the same old crap you know they had nothing nothing yesterday a radio that didn't work very well you know a good time yes dogs that's a huge old when it was New Year with a guy played an accordion or some Nina little another oh god it's freezing hope somebody shows up with a jacket on but then someone would come with a you know whiskey and a cake whiskey and a cake and a piece of coal yeah look what was the cold quote was from the fire I an oatmeal yeah and then but then we started to get vid video players and DVDs and and computers and all that stuff so you don't like people come in casing cuz yeah cuz he'll take it stuff they'll come to the other half in a year but they'll come back in three months so now they all gathered in Princess Street and Edinboro say yeah it's like a it's like burning man out there at the new year is the bejesus of year you can't sealer oh I can't I don't know Kelly can you seem for Jesus it's kind of like that black naira SHhhh I said be Jesus we can't see that link boneheads always meet again at Rosslyn Bed Bath and Beyond good welcome back everybody welcome back I'm here with the gentlemen I've never met before pretending that we've known each other for a long time and we're from the same place calling who are these people this is some kind of ghastly nightmare I don't wish to allow you but at least two people here this evening are from Australia good God can he say that the Jesus Oh key if we did a lot of the actin though oh I love it really I like doing that yeah no it's good you dream in the hobbit as well Oh congratulations ooh deeply den ironfoot oh that's my favorite part he's the pivot was a boy in my class in school with an eye on foot right oh dear our school was different noise DAA you had to get an eye on foot to get theirs to shave your head and Pinter purple that's right if you had head lice now you get you got no that's what we used to do you've got a nation of stand-up comedians we're all traumatized well belly button and there was people usually okay used to have a band-aid over one lens of the glass I remember that there's a lot guys what's wrong with it no they were real glasses but they would have a band-aid over one side the glass yeah it's like like the spectacled had been injured that's right her mother was blind and when stuck ahead the purple heads in a lump in a part-time belly to our coconut yes okay um let's see um I'm going selection okay good

Channel: Antonio FergusonFan

Views: 410,092

Rating: 4.8504934 out of 5

Keywords: TLLS, Craig, Ferguson, 2013, 01, 08, Billy, Connolly

Id: wkqkpvA7Oq0

Length: 11min 30sec (690 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 09 2013