Dom Deluise, Rodney Dangerfield Carson Tonight Show 3/7-1974

here's another very good friend of ours we have not seen for a while he is going on tour this summer in the play love starting July 10th at the Arlington Park Theatre in Chicago then on the Flint Michigan Warren and Dayton will you welcome please Dom DeLuise stickers in here magical opening tonight can you imagine that wasn't that true you know who was your sixth grade teacher first of all ah it's mittens one you say there yeah his mittens while he was terrific she had a plate and I sit in the front row and I still look up and all the ironwork in her mouth was it you no but she was a wonderful wonder woman she it's amazing but the things you remember as a child for some reason around the sixth grade I mean I remember the one guy the fastest guy in our and our on arm in our school was Cosmo and Phantom II know what is s what will he not you would remember that name less there's a name that's so terrific that you wrote a letter you know when you were 11 years old cuz you always wanted to do this and you got your wish I'm very glad for you if anybody when I what else what you do if you didn't have this job I suppose get a cup and big I don't know anymore what I do well I mean where would you pound your pencil if you don't guess I better have something to do that wait a minute okay yeah you bet you know what I mean you've been back in New York yes I win a New York for six weeks in New York is really exciting because they took a lot of people that were sitting around and they just put her over and they got right these n now trying to live together you know it's really just a time she just give me a hot dog all right oh hello mom how are you it's good to see all this my cousin it's all just so exciting it's just you know hello why haven't you go to the Opera and you meet somebody they go huh I haven't seen you remember me I went to high school yes yes Oh hug - ribbit hello Nureyev oh it's so good to see you live you know and then people are begging on the streets a man is just lame yeah on the street people say just step over there don't worry don't get you good yeah I never saw a street light it was a wonderful wonderful taxi it's mine and only I'll kill me fine yes yes it's my oh hello Thomas I'm very late being in the car it's just you know and then no matter where you go there's a hand there's a hand oh then it just as chip please please tip me whoever you are I just wanted to it doesn't do anything when the weight is the way to come you know how the waited goes he just keep knowing you're gonna rest that's the silverware you know and and they just and you just go oh come here with salad menu what menu here have this you know how they are yes lots of it oh it's just lots of that you're right just you just go down you're sitting with your wife and you go and my dolly and then suddenly this man comes and you're interrupting his flow just by the fact you gotta get get with it you know and it is a wonderful city cuz that's all I saw shows there's one New Yorker there's a lot of them here it is an exciting exciting city in California you drive along and you know you this lights you see people hello and everybody's smoking something on the corner they just going hey did you visit relatives back there is that part of the trip I did I really oh I have so many relatives there it's just amazing my mother and father came from Italy and they just they kissed a little and then suddenly found incredible I stayed in the same rooms that I was born in you know my mother had a baby it was me yeah and I was there at the time so I remember when not want to be near your mother remember almost certainly all right and the wonderful thing is that my wife and I slept in the same bed my mother and I slept in try that certainty to kick lift it was very strange yeah cuz I was breastfed can you say breastfed I just said it Wow when it's same bed did you win or denied until I was 14 and I looked it now and my kids slept in the same room that I was raised in no Meah I mean so it was a very odd kind of a country rather an emotional deja vu Tov it it was a deja vu well we had a dog we had to get rid of I see I've got no right no anyway it was it was really exciting some of the people that I grew up with have children and my father was a very loud man you know my father was a man who spoke this way what the hell's going on he get out of way my money and I'll give all you kids enough don't see Tomi he don't look hello I give it to you good get up that was Christmas and now for the bad news so what's some of the little kids now we're 12 years old came up to me they were and you know they were wanting my autograph and stuff it was really nice it was a good feeling that's because to be accepted on your own block it was thrilling for me I have to say that I mean it was truly a good feeling you know where it counts under the skin anyway she came to me and she said your father used to yell at my mother chase you're my mother away from here that was she had nothing to say to me so she said can I have your autograph and then she claimed you know your father anyway my father chased her good mother away it's kind of fun going back in it well yes but I'm gonna die it's all the time you know and your mother still my mother I love her with all my heart and stomach my mother makes it was in New York I was hot and sticky in the and we were all depend of just uh just hanging over the air-conditioner letting you blow into our pants you know it was a hot day you got the picture yes either I mean in the preparation just was going here and then in your neck and then it was just hot was hot and I went in the kitchen and my mother's going I said what are you making for lunch what did she said pizza but so she had to put the oven on you know how hot and she was making pizzas and my little kids they'll survive of course and they're eating pizza and milk and so Nanette and I'm just sitting there just the smell is making me it was hard to talk to you pizza you know when you're when you're when you're slightly heavy and when it's when you're in a steam room at home you know but she'd make all those things that you didn't wanna hurt her feelings no so I would eat them I would eat the pizza and stuff in fact uh we had a lot of peasant dishes you know you know the peasant dishes it is a dirty joke there but I would I do I do I uh who's a person safe Laverne I don't let marine around as a peasant dish mess yeah pasta fazool you know yeah everything was made with a little bit of pasta and some beans and that was puzzle you don't see protein very much you know what I mean unless a chicken gets loose in the back it was a very very strange for me to do that it was a wonderful trip in other words even though there was some you know I got I got heavy with pizza and stuff it was wonderful yeah but you can do that one a lot yeah oh we come back we got a whole crazy bunch of things to show you would you tell I had a thought that you thought I had gates it was a thought well excuse me no no Einstein used to do that no what is it Einstein gasps he says no M equals they wouldn't I thought it was gasps and he came up with it I think I they all wait I'll wait I'll cuz I have no place to go I'm stuck here right oh we don't you're not stuck here but we do have a short message here yes and then we will be back we're back I'm looking at some of these you had a you had a thought there you wanted that it goes bang yeah but that's what we're gonna we're gonna show you and then you have to tell me what the names are later oh yes right Oh who's the thought that we interrupted you it know that I was gonna go to Chicago I was gonna say hey I'm going to Chicago he ain't moving all right in Arlington Park in Illinois and I have a terrific yes a wonderful actresses a wonderful actress only just one joy same pattern and bill McCutcheon she's wonderful but and he's wonderful also I wanted to mention that I'm gonna be Milwaukee and August doing sugar you're gonna do sugar yeah first time I will have appeared in public and address why you know you look good we know of I will not be in Milwaukee this summer you said shooted if somebody you're not all of us can go on you're gonna look great in bubbies bubbies what about these puppies a little wedgies a boobies boobies boobies oh you mean am i saying it wrong all these years I'm so I mean I'm saying you you to save puppies puppies you wanna brush back to lose to your natural I mean you can't even well once your lips in that position you might as well just as they're brothers grown man you look nice and well bees nobody goes one of bubbies what is that anyway in that show you have to dress up it's gonna be fun I do yeah yeah I'll have a fetching little Henry and then I just want to tell you if I sure and I'm gonna work for John Kenley who was a wonderful producer and I really crazy about him and I'll be in Flint Warren Warren and Dayton yeah I understand he is a great kind of work for me what's got a brain and a mind that he just puts people together and and oh great chemistry is a great to extort you don't play another game now where were you your son brought novelties I'm here for you I've got it credit Esquire magazine because they had an article here on objects that you see all the time and people don't really know what they what the name is they can describe it and they can say well that saying it goes on the lamp with it what is that nobody knows and we have a bunch of them I'm just gonna bring them out and see where's the first one yeah here's what I was talking about oh this is the thing that goes inside of a lamp that everybody has seen that you know fits into the where the bulb is and then you put the shades on a light bulb is in there there's a name for this I don't have a clue I would right ladies that's a harp you're right huh there's an angel in the audience I wouldn't bet is the technical name for that is a harp well I would just say the thing that goes around and sticks in and you would have the lampshade that hose a lampshade that's why I take so long to say that you know give me that curly Q thing that you know goes in with a do you think any man the hardware store would no harm yes oh he would say Jimmy as a saucier uh hardly stop now you said this thing you pull and it goes back now this is a little party favor right yep you know it's gonna go in jail it's gonna go in your hand like that that's right yep else why should that's it now pull it now you're not will now pull it now I'm so big to turn now there's a name for that and there's really not too difficult no ice close party snapper or party popper parties never yeah party snapper I already [ __ ] party snapper alrighty we're right along here what do you call this now now wait a second is there just a moment it's a game I got the correct name you want to yard sir now you that's very simple what you call that is that they call them a tassel the pool no you're right as if just a venetian blind cord tassel that is what the names ridiculous who included that in the group I don't know that's what it is all right what do you call this little thing oh you're out in the garden fork know the name for it you know whoever use these every day we went to get one of these what would you say that a four prong chicken kisser what is this four prong what chicken kisser I know it's a hand cultivator hand back that's the time when I was home thank you and I don't call it that you will give him spork I don't know what that is all right but here's what I'll bet you don't get here's one you won't get here's a here's a pie glasses right yes all right now what is this part that fits over your ears called there's a name for that lover lover dear lover no it's I have you'll never get this because this is one of second I'm just guessing John that's true that is a comfort cable temple since I lost one of those Lancie gives a comfort cable temple I wanna get this million all right you had to go get that fix you'd have to say that the end part that swings and goes over your here incredible isn't it exciting yeah all right what else do we have here you know we can wait for 25 years to come up and have somebody asked these are their squeezer for you put on lamb chops in Africa oh yeah panties we are but there's another name in the in French good night meant missing the Papio days I guess her Pierre Ted something a pap il le and it goes like this here all wonderful things but here's one you won't hate on there's not much crawl up to that here's one you won't get bottle champagne or a wine bottle you see this in the bottom here huh what is it call yeah what is that indentation in the bottle of the wine bottle card huh navel a bottle navel not bad interesting I guess has to keep the sediment when it settles that keep the sediment from your boy no I thought it was to sell you like champagne I never know I think that has something to do with the sediment the so it'll settle down the side that's called the punt or a kick I'll call that a kick all righty okay what you want to clean up what else are we got here I want one with a stump yet now there's one that what do you call these are so dumb some of them the typewriter mark you know when you're typing that is that kind of stroke you know what says what that's called at that particular mark that's like the hand or well their real names are a selita's the separate tricks of virgule or oblique they'd ahead of here get out of here yeah now even he got one tonight I says what is pocket-lint called I know what pocket-lint is called nerve you're got a lot of nirn your pocket seein you are our I thought it was Julie yeah truly is they headed in a Broadway play or something there was a song about it names called nerve nerve I was gonna make have a pillow me but I never had enough nerve I've never had an engineer we did a wine wine bottle where's the biggies here it is easy you've seen this yes that's the that's your lentil it's a quite ornament that gone that guy that has elephantitis no it's not a what do you call that it's a he so easy this one's easy but again it's a roof light that goes on it get out of here course it's a roof light but you wouldn't want to say just that bad all right I got one for ya but you can't tell me what this is telephone no no I not the phone what is this little thing here cradle no I'm talking about this that's the button no no I do wacky and all time to do you see that's what we call things like that or do wacky but call up that's your puppet no no no no no not an evil isn't it yeah yeah that's what I thought so had you had this for a devil a puppet yes sir if you're public this is this is the plunger a bunch of language well what is the plumber use hi it's a plumbers friend oh mama uses a wire papers use this it's not for sugar yeah what is it really called it's a mess sugar no it's not in my sugar you know what that is called huh that is called a dredger you dredge it with the iPad apparently this is what this is if you go to buy one it's a dredger the [ __ ] call it that otherwise it submission mother uses one of those we don't call it a budget all right on now this is one of these crazy things that's a Shula that's a shoelace I'm not talking about this anyone's really want to know what you call this part down at the end of the shoelace with that little stuff in it dogs now there's a name for celluloid insert this is as good as a roof line that's an egg late' magnet an aglet AG le t what do you call the hole did you stick the Anglet in that's an angle and that's an egg in the egg is an egg oh ho oh oh how aren't you glad you tuned in all righty what else we got here we thought this is gonna be okay smarty what do you call this oh that's the thing that goes around the [ __ ] around the corner oh what's it called uh a wire wire well I have twisted wire I'm you know just listen twisted wire holder that's a qua qua wha I was you I am the top of my friend you guys don't know anything do you well he's a hard what either hard there's some easy ones all right ah oh I love the remember those love though dot candy the dot candy on paper what do you want up you how do you call that ah there's a name port cavity no cavities huh just camera noise you're going knows all you know there this long [ __ ] and B buttons but fine mutton bar number those oh but I just ring one time we went a restaurant in North Carolina Charlotte North Carolina very fancy and it said on the menu lamb chops Rowan cut steak and underneath it said baked potato all foil comes out in some Reynolds Wrap right well we had some others here but this doesn't seem to be such a big hit anyway so well we like we thought it'd be kind of interesting uh there are certain people who really like salads and if you want it to smell good you use that water turtlecom popular music good music moving along it is unbelievable that a man who ones runs one of New York's most successful nightclubs loves good crowds still gets no respect but that's the way it's been would you welcome our entrepreneur of Dangerfield's Rodney Dangerfield hey what a crowd what a crowd God tell you more right now to send us a rough shape though you know a my wife she started in again you know she keeps throwing up to be awake to Las Vegas went broke playing the slot machine well Vegas like a slot machines all even in supermarkets I went into my container milkless we $238 now tied it to the head trove of my wife before we got now you know we went together for six months since she gave me the air tell me was all over I said to what Samantha somebody else she looked at me she said there must be okay with my wife I never got no respect no respect at all you know we were going steady she told me don't talk about sex until we get married we got married she told me now you can talk about it all you're my marry 20 is all I get his smart answers and bad cooking my wife's cooking forget about her cooking but you ever had a leftover hamburger she use it to scrub the sink well you had to come and get it my house is trying eating what's wrong with me is I'm too easygoing you know like the sent through had a bite to eat in a restaurant got busy how to share a table with somebody sucked on an old man what's been in his 80s I mean this guy was old I asked her pass me the salt and pepper you had to make two trips I never got lucky in the restaurant I had dinner last night in the Chinese restaurant I want my fortune cookie it was a guy's check next to me I said good night buddy I got your check he said thanks so I mean it's wise guys I was gonna take a little vacation put some guy works and travel a sheet or I could spend six nights in Puerto Rico no day just six nights in Puerto Rico I said to what I do myself they said you can do whatever you want just keep out of Puerto Rico that would mean nothing works out you know my neighborhoods getting worse I told you me farther than a tough neighborhood you know this last week a guy pulled a knife on me I could see it wasn't a real professional job there was butter on it I'd say rise if you can't protect yourself but one day was a knock at my front door I figure play it safe out in the people a guy recent inbred I'll tell you my billion nothing went wrong every time I close a window I hit somebody's heads robberies over there what are yelling out I took the wife and kids out if he got play it safe left the lights on the apartment if the radio wanted the note in the front don't notice that I'm inside him home that night I still got robbed the guy left his own note he said I looked all over for you everyone every time you close the windows you hurt somebody stinking up into my building John and I wouldn't lie to you no no nicely gonna make the trip out here my pleasure John is over here me so many wonderful wonderful people full of love here in California is random annually we would a nice people inside coming over here I had a cab driver just full of love you know yeah really this guy kept talking and talking he was so happy told me all the people he had in his cab you know and then he described in detail how he had them interesting I didn't know that it's another one I should have drawn it up yeah you gotta take him out of town you can just write him right now I gotta break him in all over you know but he's a sexy cab driver Taylor claimed I see myself a the other know what have been bringing you know whether what every cell you'd be person look like that but remember I can happen anybody getting sexy yeah yeah I went out last week at why some new letter you might have that group sex group you know I have a new problem I don't who to thank that was a wild party I went to a wild party a wild party no I wish you were there yes I like it I got that rang the bell a big naked blonde came to the door yeah and he was the butler and the butler how'd you know he was the butler I know he's the butler because she could tell me I know he wasn't the maid that's the best in the line so you'll be careful here but I uh know when sex a powerful thing yes it is not where'd you get little lunar you think it diminishes oh no no no such a powerful thing oh dang it I'm a guy meets a girl he's not you if he likes your guy takes your idol take her out a few times spend all kinds of money on an escort kinds of questions oh that's where a dog is lucky you know dog is smart and with dog he's had a dog you're not to go through all that you start with one smell she's for me that's it you know I love dogs you love dogs yeah dogs if every I work with some great dog anymore guys shinier a holodecks I work with Carmine's canines all right great actually Lapointe in a boxer laverna inner boxer is that a shoe done shoulder to shoulder just open the door guys did a great act yeah and show you now how tough showbiz very Lawrence tough showbiz until boy sometimes I think back of all the women I had to sleep with to get where I got now I just did not know man you know that you know as a kid in showbiz I never got those no yeah never I was a kidding showbiz I mean my big score was Baltimore 1949 a chubby waitress would acne I remember her very well I got lucky one night yeah yeah girl is always getting a hard time never got looking girls in fact just last night a hook I made me say please I'll tell you Johnny I can't my dressing gowns you're blaming you have your help local dressing no got a capillary they only got a Concha blessings on thank heaven I'm doing okay today and I had a tough few years you know though I paid a lot of dues Johnny work a lot of tough joints you know funds those knuckle room member that finds out nothing wrong oh he was tough funds it was he tough who founds oh he's the first one he started acupuncture you know yeah with an icepick I had a toughy is you're here huh everybody has it tough I guess everybody has problems some of the godliest secretive problem Allen boy this guy told me he he hadn't affair with a girl three months ago the guy's going nuts you know what to do yeah he tell me what happened was the rabbit didn't die it just stays in critical condition you've got problems all over the islands over but I told you before I'm gonna tell you again Johnny hoping else is that okay this hope you gotta take the honors and your help Harry you gotta think young hobbies interests you if you think young right I try to think young autonomy always do that clever cigarettes certainly that's not good for your health oh yeah so I got a crazy dog to tell me to keep smoking I wanna stop chewing gum sort of watch this is that the same doctor you dr. vinny boom bars anyone my eye health is important I got into astrology late they got have no interest or astrology's very non-elect know if you need girl comes over portrait astrologer Carla here let's crowd you what sign of you wonder you know that's licked okay that they the girls I meet the role born on to the same side along with that for rent Hey take care you help I can't do what I do what's that I tell what are you going or not so bad i watch television oh I hope you get healthy to tell them job and you get he'll take more think of who's talking to I'm just knocking Tom doesn't like the commercials the public service commercial they get all kinds of tips that take care of yourself you know they're very very good job I saw one listing a commercial a public service when she was beauty don't ya guy came out he said hi my name is Bob's my wife and my daughter Suzy my son Bob jr. right in front here's my mom and dad now we've all had VD gotta take care here huh that's the whole thing at hope yes oh and you gotta get the brakes you gotta get three important along is gonna have to break break sure brakes are probably just as important as good health yeah Charlie I never got the break he's never break never get the breaks never mind the kid never got the breaks pebble I was 8 years old a Halloween once well mainly dress me up he set me up as a pipe pipe you know yeah and two hours every ratna neighborhood was following [ __ ] off me Johnny a lot of pressure don't fail cater to what oppression how things gonna clobber folks how are things going at the club very well my vacation alpha look at your arm on vacation you mean the reason I'm a buzz axe who do you have in there now while you're gone you have some big action waters cleaning up a lot of pressure going feeds parables like pressure like a heaviness is always on top of your head it's always there other guys wake up in the morning our new day up and Adam I wake up the pressures pressure - heaviness is waiting for me nice to have nice sometimes I've been talked to it I'd say hi having it and having this looks back at me today you're gonna get it good unit we'll be drinking early today and I can't drink I'm Abed you buy a bad drinking know I do with a beer drinker I am money but I drink I don't know what I'm doing I'm tell you a mixer month you're going out for dinner the other night had a few drinks were then the waiter came over I wouldn't roast beef on the rocks but you got a hug memory memory memory will sustain memories got a hot memory brains memory memory I even talked about vaudeville before right talking outboard before I got a picture I want to show you but memories of memories of actually my father was involved you know 20 livre he was yes he was important for years and I have a picture you took make I may get a kick out of it if you've taken 60 years ago in San Francisco and my father he was 20 years old and in this picture Charlie Chaplin was 23 years old my father would chop whenever what's true what's your good night yeah yes sir they fork to see my old man with Chaplin over there I'm gonna take a close that happy gonna Melanson anything I had my days with a camera known and chapels with the day that was 23rd bow he was 23 sixty years ago San Francisco at position yeah I can tell a lot of stories about vaudeville that's rendering 50 you want to see one of your old picture let me picture somebody dug out one of your early publicity pictures those if you remember these these phony pictures they would they would take take a look at this folks look at the monitor look at the monitor got a gun with a little dollars Oh somebody dug that out does that baby where you going Rodney for real leave me alone ease is it not a beauty thought you might want to have oh it's a beauty you know what I was 19 years old laughs that was my first day out from the picture I Teta truth what happened I went I took the picture straight I didn't like it yeah um II got props so I got props and then a vise two bits of his dog yeah I feel like the different ways people would spank their kids like a barber hit this kid your name okay we'll be right back after the want these quick

Channel: Archy M

Views: 1,994,256

Keywords:

Id: ZV9jPfyb3ew

Length: 30min 2sec (1802 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 04 2016