- "Saturday Night Live"
medical sketches round two. You ready? Peewoop! - Oh.
(father sings fanfare) - Happy Mother's Day, Mommy. - Oh, honey, this is so great! I am so lucky to be your mommy. The day you were born was
the best day of my life. - What was it like?
- The day you were born? It was amazing. (mother screaming in pain)
(audience laughing) - I never know why in medical
dramas in movies and TV shows they have the doctor underneath the drape. Like, the drape is
elevated so you can see, just so everyone else doesn't have to see. - Okay, only a few more
centimeters and you'll be ready. - That's true, you do
have to be fully dilated in order to start the delivery process. - How much bigger can the hole get? - 10 centimeters. - I had a big smile on
my face the whole time. (mother screaming) - Guys, we're gonna have
to perform an episiotomy. - No, no, don't cut my butthole in half! - Well, it's not cutting the
butthole, but my question is, why are we performing an episiotomy if the patient is not fully dilated yet? Unagi? - Daddy, were you scared? - Why does it look like that? - You're not a man! - We always make sure
that one of the nurses is watching the father. If they catch a visual of anything, they oftentimes get lightheaded
and need to pass out. - And then she told me
to give one little push. (mother groaning)
- [Doctor] He's crowning. One more push!
(mother screaming) - Oh, am I pooping? - A lot of women poop. It's okay. One push is impressive. That usually happens on the
second baby, maybe third. - And you were the most beautiful
baby in the whole world. (baby crying) - What? Why does he look like that? Why is he yellow? Is that normal? - (sobs) Why is he so ugly? - Generally if the baby's okay, we like to bring the baby to the chest, the mother's chest right away 'cause we've seen better
outcomes with that. (audience laughing)
(warm music) (audience applauding)
(audience cheering) - Facts. Big facts. (audience laughing) - (sniffles) My husband and I have been feeling a
little under the weather. Poor Gary has been sneezing all day. - Have you ever wondered why you sneeze? It's because your nasal passageways have small, little hairs on them. Yeah, but those hairs are very susceptible to chemical changes,
to foreign substances, dust, allergens, et cetera. And then your body releases histamines which cause swelling,
bring inflammatory cells, cause your blood vessels to start leaking, mucus comes out, and then your body wants to expel all that, reset your entire nasal
passageway, and you expel a lot, a lot of gross stuff
including viral particles. That's how viral
illnesses actually spread. - That's why we need a cold med- - How! - He said, "How!" - That's why we need a cold medicine that works, and works fast. Many leading-
- Ah! - Also, if you're gonna sneeze,
Will, at least dab and, ah! - That's why our family
always chooses the brand- (Gary sneezes loudly) You sound like a lunatic! - He's also sneezing
only through his mouth, which is kind of strange. - So try new One-A-Day
Extra-Strength Nasaflu, and don't get slowed down
by a little sickness. (Gary sneezes obnoxiously) - He's the one sneezing.
Why is she drinking it? It's so bad with all these
over-the-counter medications for cold and flu. They just dump a ton of ingredients, active ingredients into these things and people don't realize
that there's TYLENOL in some of them, acetaminophen,
BENADRYL in some of them like NyQuil, diphenhydramine. In others like DayQuil
there's caffeine in there. And people don't know the
entire ingredients list so they start taking other
things in addition to and it can become quite problematic to the point they can cause toxicity. So be careful if you take a combination over-the-counter
medicine for cold or flu. (audience applauding) - [Announcer] From the makers
of "The Fault in Our Stars." - Oh, we reacted to this! - [Announcer] Comes an
all-new film about heartbreak and teenage love against the odds. - I'm sticking with you no matter what kind of cancer you have. - No, I don't have cancer. I have Ebola. (audience laughing)
(Doctor Mike laughing) - I did not expect that turn. Highly contagious illness
through bodily fluids. That is basically like a hemorrhagic fever that you get a fever and then you have a
blood clotting disorder that causes you to bleed internally. And that's why you see movies where people are bleeding outside
their nose and their ears. That's Ebola. - Can you hear me? You're so far away. (audience laughing)
- I'm good. - I'm still trying to piece together why she has an oxygen
tank if she has Ebola. There's a bigger problem going on than the need for nasal cannula oxygen. - According to CDC, cases of the sexually
transmitted diseases chlamydia, syphilis, and gonorrhea
are all at all-time highs because of dating apps. With more on this,
obviously, is Pete Davidson. - I really want to know if that's true. I haven't heard recent statistics on it. But yeah, barrier
protection is the way to go. - I don't see the problem, Colin. These are all things that
you can cure with a shot. I don't know how this is even new, really. Like, no, I understand people
can be worried about STDs. You know, I get tested all
the time because, you know, I look like I have all of them. - Well, first of all, everyone
that's sexually active should be getting screened
for STIs, not STDs. While yes, they are
treatable with antibiotics, either oral or injection, you need to know that the more often you end up treating these bacterial illnesses, specifically gonorrhea,
chlamydia, syphilis, the more likely that they
are to become super STIs where they are resistant to
the antibiotics that we have and then we could no longer
cure them, Mr. Pete Davidson. - I'm saying to people,
like, you should, you know, wear, you know, wear a
condom, but since you won't, you know, call your doctor
and get antibiotics. - No. Get screened. Abstinence, protection, get screened. - Jake and I rode our bikes
to Target to buy "Mario 1" and we rode so fast home. - We're like, passing cars like, "Move people, we gotta play 'Mario!'" Never pedaled faster.
- Yeah, well maybe too fast 'cause Jake got like, major
air off this little jump off and when he hit the
ground he missed the seat and he landed with all his
weight onto the crossbar and he like, demolished his nuts. - Oh. - I didn't demolish 'em. - Yeah, you did, dude. They popped. - I think what they mean is ruptured. Testicular rupture is a thing. At times, the damage could be so bad that you need a full
removal of the testicle. Testicular trauma requires a urologist, a surgeon, right away, stat. - They definitely popped, dude. We heard them pop, dude. - And the reason they,
quote unquote, "pop" is 'cause they're actually largely spongy so they don't normally pop,
but if you get them crushed in between whatever hard
surface you're landing on and your pubic bone,
that's when the trauma can get so bad that they can rupture. - They popped!
- They did. - Okay. (chuckles awkwardly) The point is, "Mario" is an amazing game! - And you could live a
completely normal life and be able to procreate
with a single testicle. - We played "Mario 3" nonstop. - We were Mario maniacs!
- We were. We played every day except the days Jake had physical therapy
to relearn how to pee. - It wasn't a big deal.
- Well, it kinda was. Jake now pees through a small hole just below his belly button
so he has to lie horizontally. - I'm pretty sure he would
have a suprapubic catheter. They insert a catheter
directly into your bladder not plank on the toilet. (audience applauding) - [Announcer] Life's special
moments are meant to be enjoyed not spent worrying about your
irritable bowel syndrome. - The funny thing is, I already
knew it was a fake pharma ad just because of the music and the VO. - I'll be right back. - But Ryan's solo is coming up. - [Announcer] It can strike at any time. - All right, irritable bowel syndrome is actually a problematic condition 'cause those who have it struggle with it and also struggle getting it diagnosed because oftentimes they'll go to doctors and they'll get scanned,
they'll get blood tests done and nothing shows up and it's
really a clinical diagnosis based on subjective criteria,
what the patient is saying and the symptoms that
they're experiencing. So a lot of doctors will say,
"Oh, your CAT scan's good. You're good to go. Bye." But that's not the end-all,
be-all of medicine. We have to talk to the patient, too. And for IBS there's really three
types that we can diagnose. One is diarrhea predominant. Second is constipation
predominant, and third is mixed. It's not an easy condition. And because of the stigma
that exists around it and the poor misunderstanding
that exists around it, it makes it even harder. - [Announcer] So you can enjoy more of life's special moments. - Oh my God! Who did this? - [Announcer] Consult
your doctor before use. Side effects may include- - Something is wrong with
you, you sick son of a- - [Doctor Mike] Peewoop! - [Announcer] Side effects may- - You just lit up the toilet! You just lit the whole damn thing up! - [Announcer] Side effects- - I have kids! - By the way, IBS patients who
have IBS have normal poops. I mean, maybe there's
diarrhea, there's constipation, but the smell shouldn't really change. Also, the medications
that do exist for IBS are targeted at the cholinergic system in terms of slowing down
the gut, decreasing spasms, and the pain that can
be associated with IBS. Sometimes probiotics are thrown in there, but they're not as evidence-based as I'd like for them to be. There's even some antibiotics that have been used for
IBS symptoms and flareups. - [Announcer] We now return
to the thrilling conclusion of "Gen Z Hospital." - Oh my God, is this gonna
be Dixie D'Amelio's show? I feel like it's gonna
be Dixie D'Amelio's show. - I'm so pressed right now, bro. - Don't be pressed. The doctor will be in
shortly bro, deadass. - All right, yo, if this doctor keeps leaving us on red, he's
gonna catch hands on gang. - This reminds me of the
girl from "Dr. Phil." - Catch me outside, how 'bout that? - Doctor, please tell us,
what's up with our bestie? (record scratching)
- Is that Elon Musk? - Y'all might wanna sit down. What I have to say right now
might be a little cringe. - Elon, I'm pretty sure everything you say slash
tweet becomes cringe. - Bestie's gonna be okay, right? - I'm sorry, but at this particular time that's looking like cap.
(audience laughing) - Bruh! - Bro, can we see her? - Unfortunately, not right now, bro. You know the vibes. But I promise if anything
changes, I'll pull up. - This is so funny to hear 'cause I'm so used to
having these conversations in such different language. I can see how a older
doctor trying to sound hip could just come off so
cringey it's painful. Facts, no postal mail. Is that what the kids say? I'm a hip. I'm cool. What y'all cool kids up to? - Hey guys, so big yikes. While I was out here
chopping it up with you, your bestie took a turn for the worst. - Bro! - You cappin'! - Unfortunately no cap,
she's literally dead. - The Supreme urn, oh my God. - All right, let's get a pic. Come on, crowd in. - [Woman] Oh no. - That's actually the worst thing, I think of influencer culture is taking
selfies at the wrong time. And before I used to think like, oh, we're just not understanding this is how Gen Z expresses themselves, sometimes it's a really wrong time. They started taking selfies at Auschwitz with smiles and all this
and I was like, okay, there's limits, and I
think that's the limit. The other SNL commercials
were hilarious, too. Click here to check that out. As always, stay happy and healthy. The Rock, NuvaBling, the
stuff in this video, wow. (lively electronic music)
