Whether You Think You Can or You Think You Can't, You're Right

[Music] this is the ramsay show [Applause] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host dr john dolone ramsey personality best-selling author of the book redefining anxiety is uh my co-host today and we're going to answer your questions about your life and your money if you've not heard the dr john baloney show yet on podcast it is our fastest growing podcast at the moment and you should chime in he talks all about mental health and boundaries and your crazy relatives and your crazy self and whatever's going on out there that we need to deal with with relationships and so forth and it is a an informative fun and sometimes really poignant show so be sure and tune in to the doctor sometimes rarely no it is it is i was listening to it this morning i listened to the one that the podcast had dropped this week it's very good it's very good and it's even going back and reviewing some of your first shows because it's the anniversary edition that just dropped uh your first year we've been doing this for a year you've been doing it for a year that's a weird twist of fate man that's a what a weird world good grief wherever you happen to be ladies and gentlemen it could all be very different a year from now yeah well and um yeah or 30 years or yeah you never know sure in your case 111 but it's good it could always be different it could always be different oh well we can we can help you with that if you want to shorten it 111 i don't know open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five get him out of this before he gets in trouble brian's in quincy illinois hey brian what's up hey how are you doing today guys better than i deserve how can we help well my wife and i live in a small town about a thousand people and we're having a hard time finding a house to kind of grow um you know a bigger house for us so we're thinking about adding on currently our house does not have a garage so part of the addition would be a two-stall garage and then adding a mud room with laundry room and half bath and then extending our living room as part of it we don't know if that's a wise decision however housing there's no houses for sale in our small town but if they are they're either way too small or way out of our budget just looking for a little advice okay well it there's nothing to compare it to obviously you don't have a lot of options uh if you're gonna stay in that little town uh how close are you how close are you to another uh town that you could just move over one well we really like the school system that's the problem we it's a small town community the town i work in is 20 minutes away and it's about five times as big of a school system we just love the small town community where we're at does that make sense yeah it makes sense uh but not if you're going to spend 200 000 that you're going to lose no no the addition is around 50 to 55 000. you have the cash uh no we would have to basically we're kind of looking at it as if we bought a house we would do a construction loan and then roll that into a permanent mortgage yeah uh but everything would be what's your household income our household income is just about 72. okay and what's your current first mortgage amount uh 70. okay well i mean you got 120 000 bucks in this house when you're done and it's a difficult market to sell a house in so that's that's what you're that's what you're signing up for you're signing up for a long-term play okay and um and probably not a lot of escape hatches for this so uh be careful about rationalizing it or justifying it or whatever and moving on past common sense so i mean what you've described is not completely out of control um it just sounds very um i i i just tell you any time in my life this here's what's bothering me okay you can go ahead and do it brian if you want to do it that's fine okay but here's what's bothering me and i'm gonna put the principle out there for you for me for everybody else anytime i start saying to myself there's only one way to solve this problem that is a lot that makes any sense at all that means i have not thought about this enough and i'm getting ready to make a stupid butt error and that's the way you've described this whole situation and that's what's bothering me about it okay because you you've clipped the edges off of this thing six different ways to where there's no way to come to any possible other conclusion other than the one you have come to and um i always like to have a whole bunch of options uh or just back up and throw a grenade in the middle of it and just to make me rethink what if because every time i i i clipped the edges off of it i said well the school system and well the other house is in the town and oh then you came to this and then there's this and then there's that and you know we gotta have something bigger and you just keep you know you keep working your way down to where there's only one possible way to solve this issue because of the limitations you put on the decision you set yourself up with a decision-making framework for making a mistake that's right and i i don't like this for a couple different reasons dave i don't like it because he's adding garage he's going to add square footage to this home but it's not going to be stuff that's generally counted right it's going to be a half bath and then a garage space and some storage space and it'll be nice features but it's not like he's had in a bedroom or a master bathroom things that are easily roid right well you said you had a living room built in there but that's but an extension but you've got that and then i always want to push back on this this is the only school yeah it's smaller it's this and usually that comes from a lot of internet research or that's the way i did it or some mythology me and my wife had to deal with the fact that our kids school experience is different than ours and i keep leaning back towards there's the right way to do it which happens to be the way i experienced it and then have to breathe and exhale and realize there's a whole bunch of different ways to do school and i'd much rather see him look closer to work and think about the life he could get back fifty thousand dollars what could that buy him in that community that he could sell again i love the way you framed it we just usually reverse engineer you know what i really want is a cool garage we need a bigger living room and i'm gonna make these facts fit this narrative and then i'm gonna have to go borrow money and do something silly yeah all right and i don't like it i don't like how you came to the conclusion but the conclusion is not completely off the table so again if you want to go ahead and do it i'm not going to yell at you and call you stupid or something like that that's not what i'm saying i'm just saying that anytime somebody calls me up and goes there's only one way that always bothers me because every time i do that i screw it up i would i would love i think it'd be worth a trip for you and your wife to go down and meet with the principal of a local school by where you work and just feel what that'd be like maybe you've already done that but i i think that'd be worth doing it oh interesting idea all right coming up next is jonathan in salt lake city utah hey jonathan how are you great dave appreciate the influence you've had on me and my adult children it's made a huge difference honored listen uh listen uh i my wife and i have been debt free since 1994. um we have six rental properties and the salt lake real estate market has gone up like a rocket and we've really benefited we our children each of our three adult children still have home loans we're thinking of selling one of our six rental properties it was an exchange property and giving each of them a hundred thousand dollars to reduce the principal balance on their loan so that they'll get them paid off sooner so what we're trying to do is accelerate them getting out of debt i love it i would do that now what you do need to do is you need to talk to your tax advisor because you're going to take a unified estate tax credit because you cannot gift somebody a hundred thousand dollars even your own kid without getting into gift tax unless you use the unified estate tax credit so talk to your estate planner your tax advisor on how to do it but the concept paying off your kids houses you're breaking you're changing the family tree i love it i i would have a caveat on there that they're not going to go back in debt you don't go buy a new cadillac should i pay off your house right but we're going to go that direction [Music] stop paying your overpriced wireless provider and switch to puretalk they use the same network as the larger providers for much less for just 30 a month get unlimited talk text and six gigs of data with no contract the average family saves over seventy dollars a month by switching to pure top just go to puretalk.com and enter the promo code ramsey to save 50 off your first month pure talk simply smarter wireless [Music] open phones this hour i'm dave ramsey your host you jump in we'll talk about your life and your money dr john deloney rmg personality is my co-host today hey homeschool parents we know that preparing your teen for the real world can feel like a big job especially when it comes to teaching them complicated money topics but you can do it and our homeschool curriculum can help foundations in personal finance has helped over 5 million students learn the money lessons that they need now and down the road best part is it has all the lesson plans the video content activities already created giving you some needed time back in your day if you're a homeschool parent text home school to 33789 to learn more about changing personal finance curriculum for middle and high schoolers home school to 33 7 8 9. neville is with us in charlotte hi neville how are you hi dave very happy to be on your show how are you better than i deserve what's up so i'm 23 years old i just got a new job of making 87 000 a year before taxes um and i'm not really sure when i'm gonna be married or have a house within the next possibly three to five years but i do want to save up for them uh do you feel as though i should continue with me not knowing when i'm gonna have those actions do you think i should save up for them still in like a cd or a bank account or should i invest that money into a mutual fund as i'm doing with the rest of my money great good job what are you doing for a living uh i am a project manager with a company that ships stuff to your house it has a little smiley face on it oh that one okay 87 000. awesome at 23 years old that's impressive sir awesome very cool very cool yeah thank you well first thing is we have to be debt free and have an emergency fund have you done that uh yes i'm technically past uh baby step three i do have the about three to six months of expenses my expenses have changed because i just moved back in with my parents as i got this job but i do have uh what was six months of my previous expenses okay all right yeah i'd start putting go ahead to baby step four and put 15 of your income aside for retirement beyond that you're saving and investing for these other things you're talking about and um you know the closer to five years that you're going to have that money parked the more likely i would be to move towards mutual funds uh you know when mutual funds are volatile and they go up and down because the stock market goes up and down but if you leave it alone five years you have a very high probability of making money on it percentage-wise the number of in the five-year periods that have lost money is almost none but uh twice as many uh two-year periods we've lost money so you got about a 50 50 chance at two years of losing money uh or making money but if you're parked in a savings account you're making one percent so um me if i'm 23 i'm going to play that because you don't have any set plan right now for when you're going to buy you don't have any set plan for marriage those kinds of things so i'm going to go ahead and play that long play because it's probably going to be pretty close to five years before you have to actually cash that in and use it is that agreed yes that makes a lot of sense are you dating somebody right now uh yes i am um but the way my job kind of works i i travel a lot so i don't really have a home location and thus i don't really know whether or not i'm going to be moving in with this person or marrying them really anytime soon that sounds more like a them like a relationship issue than a job issue but we can say that for another phone call how about that good deal yeah i want to know if he was just thinking i hope to maybe uh someday we'll fall out of this guy or we're getting there we're getting closer there yeah that's a good good clarification that's incredible 23 years old way down the road there that's fantastic well done michaela is with us in new york city hi michaela how are you good how are you dave better than i deserve what's up so yeah me and my husband we got married last year in march 2020 and our first goal was to pay off my husband's dividend debt and credit card which was 28 000 and that was it together we live here in long island new york and i have some students that oversee so i'm originally from sweden uh and i have a 29 5 000 student loan but my interest rate is 0.05 i don't care this means that right now i only pay twelve dollars a year and i'm not taking any further loans so it's so you wanna keep it like it's a pet because it doesn't eat much now the dilemma is that we want to start a family in the near future and we live in a one-bedroom apartment and um yeah we are just debating if we should no debate pay it off pay it off pay it off don't start a family while you're still chained to something overseas yeah let's get that paid off possibly if you have a baby before the student loan uh is gone and before you have the money to move into a different property uh then just move to a two bedroom yeah we have eighteen thousand saved up right now oh good how much was the student loan twenty nine five uh twenty nine oh good we only got ten thousand left so pay 18 on the student loan today pay it off are you there it is it is but here's what's going to be real emotional when you start your family with chained to nothing yeah here's the thing the question you're really asking us is what is the shortest distance between where i am today and being stable financially and wealthy financially and the shortest distance is don't screw around with a student loan and keep it around like it's a freaking pet you have to kill that thing and get rid of it and that will give you more stability and a shorter distance to wealth and stability financial peace for you and your family than keeping it around and it's in the closet growing and munching over there and just chomping like some kind of monster in the closet like some kind of cartoon or something and no no no no no clean up your life when you have no payments you feel different physically when you have no payments your relationships are changed when you have no payments your mind is clearer to make better decisions um you're a better mom uh no question about it and uh it's not to say if you're a bad mom if you have debt no don't give me those stupid tweets but the but the point is i mean when you when your mind is clear and free of the anxiety and the stress associated with debt it opens you up to be a better husband better wife better employee better better version of you you sleep better you eat better you just walk through life better yeah right and that's what we want for you and yes you're gonna have another year of saving for a house and that's okay you got plenty of time tom is in omaha nebraska hey tom how are you good dave how are you today better than i deserve what's up well i just um i've been listening to you a lot of years and i thought hey it's time to give you a call i about a year ago my mom passed away and left some land and some money with us i don't have about a hundred thousand dollars cash i parked and i just thought hey just leave it sit for a while till everything gets kind of calmed down and uh decide what to do just curious if i should pay my house off or debt freaks at the house we do have six months emergency fund set up so i didn't know if i should pay the house off sure um and uh move on i'm 6400 know if that mattered right um why wouldn't you well here's the reason i called you i had a guy not one of yours but not one of your trained people which i am going to look into next week but he wanted to sell me an annuity hundred thousand dollar annuity and i i said no i'm not gonna do it i've been listening dave long enough i'm gonna i'm gonna run run like the wind and uh get away from that and so then i got thinking well should i invest it and to um tom tommy number one you knew what i was gonna say for you called right yeah you know i get i've been listening to you yeah right so this is the name we're just chasing our tape we're just chasing our tail here but that the um so uh here let reverse engineer it for a second you're 64. i'm six i'm turning 61 this week okay about the same age all right you're sitting there in a paid for house would you go borrow on it to invest the money absolutely not same dadgum thing dude imagine being 64 and heading into retirement with no payments on your house and just being completely free imagine doing that by 5 pm today what a gift that your mom will have left you there that's incredible this is the ramsey show [Applause] [Music] so [Applause] [Music] [Music] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsey solutions on the debt free stage mike and carrie are with us hey guys how are you better than we deserve dave how about yourself just the same sir where do you guys live uh lakeside arizona and what's that in there uh it's near flagstaff oh yeah beautiful area cool welcome to nashville thank you and here to do a debt-free scream how much did you pay off we paid off 288 495 nice how long did this take uh six years and three months way to go and your range of income during that six years so we started at 21 450 and ended at 121 860 thousand dollars that's a little jump okay what do you guys do for a living now uh i am a management analyst for the state of arizona and i'm the office manager for a construction company ah very cool what kind of debt was this 288 i'm guessing with six years might have been your house personal loans house uh credit cards cars and mostly student loans but we sold the house to help pay off some of that debt oh the house is gone where are you living we have a different house that we stay in now we sold that one though to help catapult us okay is and the one you're in now paid for no no okay all right so okay i wanna make sure i get my story straight so you got a bunch of student loan debt yes about 133 000 wow what was that from what was the degrees mine is in business management and mine's in health information systems about half each or okay all right good for you guys okay so how long you guys have been married 20 years today oh happy anniversary thank you very nice so what in the world happened six years ago put you on this journey so the end of 2014 november he'd gotten laid off from his job and i was about a week away from having our fourth son and working part-time we were already living paycheck to paycheck and that really just that killed everything we were doing yeah so that's scary as crap it is um i had heard you on the radio driving our kids to school in the morning and it had always struck a chord with me um so we had talked about it and decided that was better than what we were currently doing and when we got our tax return that january we ordered several of your books and as soon as i started reading them i was hooked he worked on finding employment again full-time i went from part-time at my company to full-time employment we both took a second job uh doing our rideshare in our community wow nights and weekends wow then a few years into the journey i actually had the opportunity to teach your college curriculum for our local community college nice so at one point we were working five jobs wow with four boys and just kind of chipped away at it took us six years obviously but we did it well it sounds like the income has been on a journey it has yeah all over the place wow i'm not afraid of hard work either no way willing to put it in it's kind of cool were they was the community college paying you to teach dave's class yes that's incredible that's a win on top of a woman it was awesome i loved teaching it that's fantastic well thank you for doing that and thank them for paying you that's exactly right life is good that's a good idea everybody everybody's winning in this story i like it very cool man that's a long journey it is how do you how do you stick with it for a six-year grind so hard work and dedication and if you fall off the wagon so to speak uh just hop back on and just get get back on track yeah not every day was perfect on the journey obviously it's that long so you just have to forgive yourself make those mistakes and move forward gary when you were telling us the story about when he lost his job and you were pregnant you grabbed his hand real tight though that's still sitting right there on your chest it's a good and a bad moment it got us to where we are now i wouldn't change it now but in the moment we were terrified yeah that's still with you that'll probably be with you for for a while what about you man was that scary coming home having to let your wife know your pregnant wife know you just lost your job yeah i almost didn't want to tell her but not almost right didn't want to at all yeah right it was a week before we had him so it was and it was right before thanksgiving so it was just it was a tough time wow kudos to you man for dusting yourself up and uh getting back out there and saying that i'm gonna do two and three and four jobs we're gonna make this thing happen good for you man oh thank you it's incredible we also cash flowed several things during that time um medical we have four boys so a lot of medical a lot of medical vehicle repairs and he's going for another degree right now so we've been cash flowing all of that excellent finished baby step three so we're on to four five and six excellent incredible good for you guys it's awesome thank you proud of you guys great job rock stars thank you sir absolute heroes man this is that's amazing very very very cool good good stuff well we got a copy of the legacy journey for you that's the next chapter in your story for sure to move on to baby steps millionaires now that's right that's where we're headed and uh and of course total money makeovers so you can give that away and get someone started on their journey because you'll bump into somebody you know you will right there's no way around it they're everywhere they need this need to know this information so good stuff all right mike and kerry from the flagstaff arizona area 288 thousand dollars paid off six years in three months making 21 to 121 over that six years up to five jobs at one point count it down let's hear a debt free scream three two one [Applause] [Music] you don't have any payments and you make 121 you can put some money back and turn everything around they just turned a corner they don't even know it oh man and she looks at him like she likes him this is so good and vice versa yeah yeah well that yeah you go through six years of of hell together to come out on the other side and man i don't know that light shines a little bit brighter on that person sitting next to you right now this is uh we can do anything we've been battling together yeah we could do anything absolutely that's incredible guys powerful stuff christopher is with us in richmond virginia hi christopher welcome to the ramsey show hey guys how are you doing better than i deserve how can i help okay so i'm just giving you a rundown of basically who i am in my background so i'm a 22 year old senior at virginia tech actually so fingers crossed hopefully this year i'll be gone um i'm gonna have fourteen thousand dollars in loans after i'm done with everything which is pretty good considering i don't have to pay anything yet for school and financial aid has just covered everything um basically right now i have twenty four thousand dollars saved up and seven hundred dollars in stocks and stuff like that right now my major is in sports media is in communication so i'm just going to stick with it as i'm a senior right now so there's really no point in switching yet before i run out of time what's your question christopher thing is i um love my major anymore and i'm not really passionate about the sports side of media anymore and i've been looking more into stocks and basically just like looking at stocks in real estate so my thing is what can i do to set myself up for success but now that i'm basically lost in life i've never felt so lost at one point in life so at this point i just don't know where to turn or what to do with my money or anything okay as far as the money part goes you graduate and you're gonna have a degree and uh sports management which gives you some business background and some business classes under your belt and you can walk into the financial world and use that you can walk into the real estate world and use that right you do not have to go back for a master's in one of those areas i wouldn't no absolutely wouldn't spend the money you've got the money in the bank to pay off your student loan as soon as you get gainfully employed i would do that and the rest is your emergency fund and then let's start investing and uh working on your career getting your income up and getting moving i think you can do it and there's this illusion that everyone who graduates with their major you think that everyone around you walking through their senior year has it all together and what i want to tell you is everybody else is scared too the world's chaotic it feels even more chaotic and when you're looking at the job boards and this than that i'm not i'm not keen on this don't stress yourself out don't strike yourself out you've gotten this far you're gonna be good to go and like dave said that degree you have can send you in any number of directions in the business world you know you could we do not have a single sports team at ramsey not one and you could walk in here interview and you know we would look at you for a position absolutely based on the way you carry yourself based on what you could bring to the table in the particular area you're trying to deal in and you know you should have some academic underpinning to be able to add value in some businesses somewhere and it has nothing to do with sports i want you to find one or two men in your life that are ahead of you five years ahead of you ten years ahead of you and just sit down and say hey i'm about to graduate in a year i start to freak out a little bit and i'm nervous and um uncomfortable and let them speak some wisdom and truth into you yeah they're the right kind of man they'll say i was too and i am still sometimes because all of us are sometimes this is the ramsey chef [Music] so [Music] so dr john dolone ramsey personality host of the dr john deloney show is my co-host today he's also the author of the bestseller redefining anxiety it's one of our quick reads it's an 80 page quick read on redefining give you a whole new look on anxiety and most everyone struggles with it at some level some debilitating some passing and driving by some ongoing but hey it's it's a word we are all well acquainted with so check it out sometimes it helps it to uh it makes it behave to give it a proper name it just demystifies the whole thing there you go yeah to properly label things and not uh not falsely identify yourself with them so yeah check it out redefining anxiety will help you you can also join john on his show the dr john dolone show our one of our fastest growing podcasts here ask john ramseysolutions.com send in an email kelly i'll get back with you make you part of that show and we'd love to have you brandon is with us brandon is in cool springs colorado springs i'm sorry colorado hey brandon how are you i'm doing great mr ramsey dr john thank you so much for taking my call sure what's up yeah uh just calling to see if i can kind of do a little bit of a suzie orman thing with you uh i have uh dave ramsey yeah yeah sort of uh does it fit into the ramsey plan here we're looking to purchase a home uh in the mountains it's going to be a vacation home kind of near one of my ski resorts i love going to cool you got the money um so we're looking i'm so sorry do you have the cash uh oh to purchase it cash yes uh no but we do have a down payment yeah i wouldn't do it a second a second home is a toy and you pay cash for toys if you want to be wealthy i've got a lake house i'm heading to this afternoon when i get off the air and i paid cash for it a long long time ago and then i rebuilt another one on the same property and paid cash for that and i absolutely love it i would have uh 23 years later hated the stinking thing uh however if i had been paying payments on it as much as it sits empty and it's just you're just not ready to buy a second home you don't need to be doing vacation homes when you don't have the money to pay for them what do you tell somebody dave that has this imaginary spreadsheet with all of the airbnb guests guess they're gonna have to float it all and all the it becomes this funny math but we talked about this earlier here's the thing using debt to do stuff like this only works when it works and nothing ever works in life the way you think it's going to never you know never the best laid plans of mice and men you just you just know you know you can project this this yellow brick road experience and then you'll run into the wicked witch every time and uh and the flying monkeys and uh those little those little oompa loompa guys look like poodles with the curved swords remember them yeah you're going to run into all these things along the way the yellow brick road is fraught with danger that's right including stupid straw men that have no brain they're out there everywhere and you know this is what you run into so this stuff only works if it works and nothing ever goes exactly as planned and the beautiful thing is when you own a bunch of rental property and you don't have any payments and there's a pandemic or something and some of your tenants can't pay um because they lost their jobs it's not their fault uh you can grant mercy um but when you have payments you're the one needing mercy that's right and but but but those tenants will pay off that rental property for you you heard that crap see that's what that's that yellow brick road thing you left out the flying monkey yep you know you left out the pandemic you left out the big bad wolf i'm going to mix up a bunch of different stories here together in this metaphor but you know but you see what i'm saying and that that's the problem is um that it happens every time too it does go every time life is predictable life is happening it's going to happen i've never thought of a vacation home i love the way it's a toy yeah it's a toy it's fun especially if you want to buy a four-wheeler a motorcycle a boat it's a toy yep you know but if you got to put payments on it that just means you're too broke to have it that's right yeah and because this you know i added up when i was broke because i'm a water skier i love the lake i love the i love the mountains too like he does i'd love to have i don't have a ski house but i wouldn't mind having one they're wonderful and um but i added up one time when i had payments on a boat when i first started doing this stuff about 30 years ago um that i well it's longer actually longer than that ago but i added up with the payments i was making on the boat the insurance on the boat what it cost me per minute to ski [Music] i averaged out that i was going to ski this many times a year and i would ski 10 minutes this run i'd ski five minutes that run i skied 15 minutes that run and i added it up and uh a buddy of mine started telling me about how he needed a better bass boat and so i added up per pound what the bass was costing him and it was something like 14 dollars a pound you know or something i mean it was like okay so hey that brings it that's a good ques a good question then how do you decide so if this guy's gonna try to buy a ski house that he likes and he goes and visits it seven times a year which would be a lot of ski trips you cannot get you cannot financially justify it so it only time is justified is when it's you've got the cash in hand it's not you're not it's not financially justified and it's not about investment it's about it it's about not harming my life there you go because it does not make sense it's a lifestyle choice okay you know you've been to my lake house okay so if you say i mean that one makes sense that's a pretty cool house it's a beautiful home and it's a great investment it's gone up in value that's fine but you know the number of hours we spend there the number of weekends we spend there the amount of time we spend on the water you know could we not rent an airbnb on the lake and come out millions of dollars ahead absolutely we couldn't but we've got the money and it doesn't hurt our financial situation because we're not paying payments on it gotcha and so but when you you you know you've got to look at because it truly is a toy you know you cannot justify i love that idea you can't financially justify these things at all none of them uh they don't make sense um and so you know with what you spend on a vacation home how many times can you know you can rent a just outside colorado springs i've done it you can rent the uh fifteen thousand square foot mansion on the side of a mountain ski and ski out for thirty thousand bucks a week thirty thousand bucks a week right okay and if you go four weeks a year okay that's 120 000 bucks right that's right and so how long does it take you to get to 5 million bucks that's a lot of weeks you know you cannot financially justify it right you can't financially justify it but but if you've if you've got 100 million dollars and you want to drop 5 million dollars in that thing it's a toy and you can afford it then it doesn't matter that it doesn't financially work it's a place that's yours it's your families it's memory you know the difference between a 5 000 car and a 25 000 car you can't justify it financially but if you can afford it it's okay to take that bit of a luxury there you go i like you know it's the same kind of a thing because both of them will get you from point a to point b so shut up stop your whining right and both of them probably got air conditioning shut up and stop your whining and both of them are somewhat reliable so shut up and stop your whining so the difference in a five thousand dollar car twenty five thousand dollar car is a want right and and it's okay well i'm not against once on this show but you gotta pay cash for them uh and you because the upgrades are luxury there you go it's living like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else so put yourself in that position is what i would do i love that dave i love it that's the direction to go and i want you to get a vacation house i'm not i'm not saying i'm doing something and telling you you shouldn't but i didn't the first property and again you've been down there we'd at our uh personalities retreat down there but the first one i bought was 103 000. it was one tiny little lot wow off to the right-hand side of that property and it was this little bitty brick house from 1974 on it and we had a boat dock all i care about was a boat dock and a place to sleep that's all i cared about and a place to put the boat and you know have fun and ski the kids and tube the kids and all that stuff and the kids were tiny and you know now all these years later we bought several properties adjacent uh did some tear downs some rebuilds built a nice big home on there now and uh and you know all the grandkids saw seven of them and all the maybe 14 15 people the ramsey clan down there this weekend you know for labor day weekend right so but you we worked up to that over 25 years and we paid cash for it and at no point was it a big percentage of our world including so it was never a burden yeah it was only fun right yeah and because it just takes the fun out of it and also i guess it gets you in the land of stupid real quick oh yeah and then it gets to the land of justification and then all of a sudden yeah one glitch one one flying monkey and the whole thing comes down yeah if you gotta if you got the down payment only hon just go rent yeah just go rent it three times a year and until you've got the money and when you got the money buy it this is the ramsey show [Music] dave here we just launched a brand new listener survey we want to know what you think about the show you'll be entered to win a 100 amazon gift card no purchase necessary take the survey ramsey solutions dot com survey or text survey to 33 789 [Music] this is the ramsay show [Music] you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice i'm dave ramsey your host thank you for joining us open phones at 825-5225 that's triple eight 825-5225 john deloney ramsey personality best-selling author and host of the dr john deloney show one of our fastest growing podcasts here in the ramsey network is my co-host today he talks about relationships mental health anxiety boundaries whatever we need to talk about and we'll mix all of that in as we answer your questions about your life and your money again open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five matthew's in new york city hey matthew how are you i'm great dave how are you better than i deserve what's up um so i'm in a little bit of a car situation um currently i'm on step two no me my wife are on step two um i have thirteen thousand dollars left in credit card debt to pay off um currently we just have one car i got fleece three years ago pre dave ramsey um so that is up in february i'm five i'm over the mileage and i'm gonna end up owing five grand on it um i just also on top of that i'm gonna need to buy a second car we just had a baby and we currently only have the one car so we're going to need that i'm going to need to buy another car and you're going to turn that one in in february right i have to turn that one into february so you got about two cars i have to buy two cars yes sir okay so what do you make uh household income is around 220 000. well that's good news okay well i i think what we have is we have a light at the end of the tunnel and it's a train coming at us it's february between now and february we gotta buy three cars our two cars and we gotta pay and we got a five grand and we gotta somewhere and then after some time after that we're gonna pay off 13 000 credit card debt but your prior what's your first priority your first priority is be able to turn this car in so you need five grand treat that like it's a debt that's debt number one in your debt snowball uh priority number two is you you currently have one car we need to at least replace the current one car and so another five grand for a five thousand dollar car is number two and number three i guess we can get the second car before we pay off the credit card debt what do you think yeah that would be great okay so that's another five grand so i need 15 grand to do the car flip and i need 13 grand to pay off the student loan or to pay off the uh credit cards i'll get it spit out here in a minute so you need 28 000 and you make 200 between now and february if you do all of that by february you're debt free and have two paid for cars that are worth 5 000 bucks each does that make sense yeah it makes perfect sense yeah i think you can do all that you make a call you make a god-awful amount of money it's awesome i'm proud of you but you're gonna you're not gonna do nothing else don't talk to me about going out to eat or going on vacation you have a car crisis and you still have credit card debt and you make a quarter million dollars a year which is just straight up stupid so you've got to clean this up right okay does that make sense yeah it makes sense yeah so uh just to so fi so i can find a car for so basically find two used cars for five grand yeah yeah that sounds good what do you do for a living man uh i work for the sanitation department in new york city so i would need i need a car with all-wheel drive because when it snows that's my main job is to plow the streets so we i need to get i need to be able to get to work get to work right so is there going to be any sort of well let me just say it this way you're going to have to get over any sort of ego you got about the salary you have and rolling into work with a 5 000 car because your co-workers are going to give you grief appropriately so and you're going to have to just smile and say i don't know nobody nothing right yeah you're going to have to go and by the way i don't want you to drive a 5 000 car the rest of your life i'm just trying to get you past february after february you have zero debt right yeah that's your debt and you make 200 000 plus a year right yes and so once your emergency fund is saved up i would save up and move up in car okay with cash yeah and uh so i'm i'm asking you to drive a five thousand dollar car for less than a year okay but if you'll drive like no one else later you can drive like no one else that makes sense yeah i drove hoopties after i went broke and people made fun of me i had one the vinyl roof was torn loose across the top when you drove it it filled up there and looked like a parachute going down the interstate and uh i was so embarrassed i was so embarrassed it was so i would you know can you get to work every day with worse is pulling up in the church oh man and my face is red the whole time and you know what i just said screw it i don't care whether you can take your hand and you just try to i try to paste it on and then just slowly poof back down in front of you that's it no that's the headliner i'm talking about the vinyl roof on top oh on the outside like a tourist across the front and yeah filled up there mine fell down on the inside no this was this was the opposite of aerodynamic yeah sharon is on the line in louisville kentucky hi sharon how are you hi dave i'm good thank you for my call sure well i have a beautiful daughter he's a junior in college and she wants to be a veterinarian we have helped to pay for her undergraduate and she received scholarships that helped to pay for that great but the next level of graduate school is going to have to be out of state because we don't have an in-state veterinarian school in kentucky really and the state of kentucky horse country does not have a vet school wow i'm flabbergasted we asked that question when we visited the university of kentucky and they said it was too expensive it was cheaper to have a relationship with auburn or in-state tuition for a certain number of kentucky students yeah than to have a school what about tennessee they got a big vet school tennessee does have some veterinary schools yes but again out of state for us and they don't have they don't have a relationship with kentucky because it's just across the line that's correct for graduate school because most graduate schools set a across-the-board tuition that's not contingent on on residency status usually that's an undergraduate thing have you checked the prices of the tennessee vet schools um it has been a few years since since i have looked it up i looked it up more when she was in high school check on that um check on that because i know there's last time i looked it's been a couple years but there's a shortage across the country on vets and there was a a groundswell of of a push um to how can we increase the number of grad students and when that happens usually there's a collapsing of the tuition of some sort or high scholarship incentives where they waive state fees and and all that kind of stuff so i would definitely go sit down with those schools and leverage that the best you can sharon john has a phd in higher ed so he's played in this sandbox a bunch so that he's not he's not just making this up he's not just making this up university of tennessee knoxville's vet school is huge and awesome by the way and so is auburn's you mentioned auburn they both are great vet schools both have great reputation but i'd just be shopping my tail end off and find the best deal just like you did when you put her through undergrads how you get her to go through and just be careful don't don't run up 400 000 bucks be a vet this is a ramsey show [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] what makes our show unique is that we genuinely care about our listeners we're intentional about choosing the best advertisers to recommend blinds.com is no exception they offer high quality window treatments at unbelievable prices and they make it simple to shop blinds shades and interior shutters with easy online ordering free shipping and a guaranteed perfect fit go to blinds.com and take advantage of this week's special savings so [Music] so [Music] guys we'd love to hear from you what you think of the ramsey show and we're doing a survey about the ramsey show and we'd love to have you take the survey if you'll do it for a few minutes i will be in the drawing for a 100 amazon gift card text the word survey to 33 789 take a moment and tell us what you think about what's going on around here we love to hear that you uh love dr john delony and if you have negative things to say don't take the survey that's right senator kelly.daniel yeah only send kelly the hate mail text because we're sensitive text surveyed at 33 789 or visit ramseysolutions.com survey in all seriousness we'd love to hear from you our question today comes from blinds.com find out for yourself why blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more use the promo code ramsey to get the best possible deal all right today's question comes from jennifer in kansas my husband is 100 sure that the world will end soon or martial law will take effect and money will not hold any value because of this he will not save he has business and personal credit card debt he has zero savings and spends his money as fast as he makes it he's up to date on his payments but has no interest in paying them off so he can start saving i am currently saving as much as possible and will have the last of my debt paid off later this year i have life insurance in place for all of us and a 401k he will also be able to draw my pension at my old job if i should pass before he does i feel like i'm the only one preparing for our future and honestly it's hurtful i don't know how to get through to him that even though the world may end in our lifetime we should still be responsible with our money and be prepared how can i get through to him dave how can she get through to him um well i mean the extreme way you've explained him this is not somebody who's merely a prepper this is not someone who is merely feels like that the culture is uh deteriorating this guy is so sure that he's so paranoid that that the whole thing is going to crash down that he according to you this according to jennifer that he is doing nothing responsible uh he's just living his life today now or he's a complete liar and this is his excuse for being a freaking child right um and doing whatever he wants to do either way this guy is exercising at a level of mental illness that is pretty extreme right this is a paranoia situation or it's a depression that is lapsed into i i literally can't think through to to tomorrow so i'm just living for the next five minutes the next 10 minutes yeah and um i'll create this narrative and i will find some websites that will back up my narrative there's there's a thousand of these conspiracies millions of them websites and you know and you all you gotta watch the news and it makes them all come true that's exactly right and uh but they're not you know so um let me just tell you that the world has problems and uh the world has always had problems 100 of the time and uh but the uh percentage likelihood of martial law and of you losing all of your personal assets coming together in your lifetime is so small that to believe that 100 percent to the point that it affects your behavior where you do nothing responsible for your family is called paranoia that is a mental illness level this is not merely we have a disagreement about how life works this is you are your husband is mentally ill and so let me am i wrong no and in fact here dave um i had a seizure in the doctor when um i had you and i've talked about this i had mapped out in a very um beautiful mind kind of way where this data point led to this one and this one and i wasn't well and i had come to figure out that oh the housing market was going to recollapse and they were gonna have to nationalize i had created this whole world and so i was gonna cash out this and go do this and i'd never forget sitting with a cfo of a 200 million dollar company i sat down explain what i was about to do with my retirement i was gonna cash it out because money's not gonna and i remember him gently looking at me and saying i don't really understand this please don't do this and i left that meeting and i thought he didn't see it he didn't get it and i'm a guy that barely knows how to work a spreadsheet right so here's the thing um when somebody is in this position the data and facts don't help a lot where somebody in this position needs to go get help yeah i had to go sit down with somebody and say i'm i'm seeing the world different than everyone around me who loves me i need some help yeah and you're right the world's got problems it does one of my close friends gave me a quote that has stuck with me forever and he said john i got a lot of plans but i don't have a meteorite plan if a meteorite hits us i will deal with that on that day and the idea that suddenly money is going to hold no value and tanks are going to roll on every street if that happens i'll deal with that on that day and until then i'm going to be responsible and care for my wife who feels like she's drowning over here by herself and we're going to go from there yeah he's not going to give in to that because it's futile right it's just futile yeah there there's yeah he he needs to need help he needs to see a counselor yeah he needs help so jennifer no amount of you sitting down trying to explain stuff to him is going to how can i get through to him you can't you cannot you can't because his brain is not functioning properly right if somebody in his life that he is someone that he trusts that would sit down with him and say hey let's go talk to somebody great if you say hey i'm gonna go talk to someone i'd love you to join me to be great uh but he needs to get some help yeah i i i by the way he he doesn't think he needs help so that's probably gonna be very difficult so but just to the point is is that this is not he isn't you're not gonna solve this riddle you don't have the tool set i did have a friend that came and spoke truth to me my wife spoke truth to me and i wasn't this bad um but uh that was helpful it was two people that i trusted and i said i'm gonna go talk to somebody then yeah well and i think you might get some guidance from a a good counselor if you were seeing one on how to deal with this situation because here's what's ultimately going to happen okay having dealt with couples in your situation for 30 years one of two things is going to occur and there's really not much middle ground there's not a third thing it's one of two he is going to recognize this get some help and gradually over time get better and your lives are going to get better and get more normalized and you're going to be able to aim at a future and build a build some wealth and get out of debt and start living reasonably and you're going to start taking some incremental not instantaneous but some incremental steps in that direction which will give you hope if that does not occur 100 of the time at some point you are going to boil over a switch is going to flip and you're going to be done and there's there's going to be no talking you back because when ladies in particular are done after holding their breath for a decade or for three years or for whatever when they're done you can't switch them back on you can't switch them back into love mode it's you're in resentment and that's actually it's over that's right it's over and uh because they've they've they reached that i've had it moment and it's there they really have had it and they're really gone and so don't let that happen to you uh it's going to happen to you if you don't control the process now you can control the process and you say okay i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna give him this much time i'm gonna try these five things to encourage him at that point i'm gonna call this because this relation i can't be married to a crazy person and he's mentally ill darling he's mentally ill we just diagnosed it um dave some of this feels like a self-fulfilling prophecy to me that if you get enough people saying well money's going to be of no value so let's just blow it all and run up all of our debts and go but that that's the quickest way for money to have some serious problems right is that fair i don't know enough about monetary policy that it just feels like you're we're starting to see a what rabbi lapin says he says money is not actual it's spiritual so when i give you a hundred dollar bill the actual paper is not worth a hundred dollars right it's a spiritual transaction of trust and so when i give you a hundred dollar bill you accept that hundred dollar bill for a hundred 100 in goods and services or you get eyes get big and you say thank you or whatever it is because you trust that you can take that and do something with it and so what you're saying is and it's a valid point that if enough people lose that trust then the money is destroyed well if enough people act so ridiculously i mean if you lose if if 90 of people lose trust in the money the exact the money is no longer currency there you go there's no current to it right so i mean i've got some confederate money from the before the civil war yeah you know what you can buy with that nothing right there's no trust association we have a vested interest in saying hey instead of running from this and acting like children let's lock back and try to get some let's go civilization together good grief yes [Music] [Music] so [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsey solutions on the debt free stage tim and sarah and gunner are with us hey guys how are you great how are you welcome where do you guys live atlanta indiana okay very cool which is near we're just north of india about 30 minutes okay we'll call it indy okay indianapolis area and you're here to do a debt-free scream how much did you pay off 105 000. all right how long did this take 28 months oh ding ding and your range of income during that time we went from about 150 to right around 210. wow nice jump in 28 months what kind of debt was the 105 000 we're pretty normal dave uh lawn mower motorcycle student loans truck you financed a lawn mower huh yeah zero percent interest right pay for it later that's great so um what got you on this journey 28 months ago we blew it out for christmas in 2018 and uh you know almost went bankrupt spending all of our money there and the day after christmas our furnace went out and we didn't have the money to pay for it and uh looking at our income and we we make way too much money to not be able to afford an emergency like this so i had to go to the bank and get a credit card to pay for a furnace yeah and uh i said never again something's got to change yes absolutely it's this level of stress this level of uncertainty uncertainty's not okay so what did you do how what was your journey like from there well say the first thing we did my sister got us was uh the financial peace university for christmas so that really kicked us off it was perfect timing i think yes okay so the same christmas that the furnace went out financial peace universities under the tree a little cold in there but the fpu's under the tree do we read it or use it for firewood that's right so who had the conversation with who well i've been listening to dave since 2006 and i wanted to go on this journey 10 years ago but uh we didn't see eye to eye on it and you know life kind of took took hold of us and uh we got back on track shortly thereafter because of the furnace okay so you got the box out from under the tree and both of you went to class we did it together all right and was it was it hard to go to class or when you went were you just so ready that whatever it said dude we're gonna do it no we were we were gonna make it work yeah we were ready both of you absolutely at the same time this time at the same time i think that goal setting too in the in the book when you sit down and talk together about what your future will be that that's really significant for me and i think that a lot of people don't realize that you have to have a goal to work towards and so doing that together was helpful yeah dreaming about the future and and making it very very very clear of what that's going to be just a crystal clear picture of it yeah yeah this is what life's going to look like and here's where and we're going to pay a price to get there but it's worth it we're going to get there absolutely yeah very cool 28 months later 105 000 later you're done that's pretty cool that's very exciting that's pretty cool what do you tell people the key to getting out of dead ass well for me it was uh ramsay solutions the the ramsey plus app and every dollar budget being able to actually see how that app tracked every single dollar almost every penny that we spent was eye-opening i think we both had some aha moments when we realized how much we were spending on fast food alone so that was it for me and then well paying for for food with cash is huge because you get to keep that money in your wallet instead of you know swiping it away with the debit card you get to uh it doesn't seem like it's there anymore yeah you don't realize it it's going away right when it's a debit card you don't feel it right or credit card you feel it with cash yeah but with cash it's like ouch we just bought something so you've got this extraordinary handsome young man with you here um 2018 you blow out christmas 2019 2020 i'm assuming christmas looked a little different the gunner home and yet i see him still smiling and breathing tell us about that transition yeah i think i don't think he realized really he didn't i don't think he felt it as probably as we did but we're also doing financial peace junior with him now so um he's at an age where he can comprehend all the things that we're listening to and doing together and we've been practicing debt-free screams for a long time together contentment was huge for us it really didn't seem terribly sacrificial for us to to start this journey we spent a lot of time at our dinner table instead of going through the fast food and we spent time doing things that don't take a lot of money like going fishing and and that doesn't cost a lot to go to go fishing and it's really really meaningful so yeah contentment's huge yeah it's uh it's a i think it's a secret weapon it might be the most powerful of all financial principles is to be able to be content uh you can avoid debt you can save you can be generous you can do all kinds of things when you're content yeah but discontent man it costs like a lot of money because you spend a lot of money trying to find contentment and it's expensive so have you guys had that one month where there's no no no payments and but the the check still deposits oh yeah we've had a few now that's awesome tell us if we look at you smiling man tell us about it well when you get at the end of the month and you and you're doing your budget you're like oh man we've got this much left over i'm just going to go ahead and slip this into this this account or add that 15 to the uh to our our retirement or add it to his college fund and or maybe go eat out at a restaurant or take a trip to nashville it's really good dude i wish you could see your face man you just lit up just thinking about it that's incredible man good for you guys that's awesome well done very well done you guys outside of the two of you who was cheering you on my sister is our biggest cheerleader she's the one sent the fpu yes actually she's listening live right now so laura wrap yes hey laura well thanks laura we appreciate the business we appreciate you appreciate you taking care of your sister that's awesome very very cool good and then tim you and i met at uh entree summit so you've taken this stuff to your business too huh well uh it was kind of ironic i the the explains part of the the jump in pay i took a new job and uh my boss is a big uh ramsay person and we didn't know that but i was a ramsey person and she was a ramsay person and she took me to entre uh back in may and then we're going again next uh next year in florida and really looking forward to it but um i try to really live and embody these principles every day uh in my personal life and and at work too so awesome yeah that's a great jump in pay well done good guys excellent proud of you well done now you're free how's it feel it feels amazing great wait lifted off all of our shoulders and we can uh breathe for a little bit and then jump right back into four five six well now it's intentional not intense right so you you're going to get there before you know it so very very well done we've got a copy of the legacy journey for you that's the next chapter in your story to go on and be baby steps millionaires that's the next thing coming up for you and of course uh on top of that we got a copy of the total money makeover for you to give away put it under somebody's tree right before the furnace goes out that's right for sure yep that's how this stuff works gotta pay it forward now all right tim and sarah and gunner 105 000 paid off in 28 months making 150 to 210 count it down let's hear a debt free scream [Applause] that is awesome that's so cool man i know that uh childhood trauma sticks with you through your whole life but also standing on a stage oh man in front of lights with your mom and dad who for 28 months have been sacrificing and and you got to come do this weird thing a debt-free scream there used to be this guy back when i was a kid back in tennessee that did these debt-free screams and that was for daddy made his first million that's right and you're sitting there telling your kids that and you got 20 million yep and that's gunner yeah and that's those moments when you can tell your kids yeah dad used to be grumpy and then all of a sudden he smiled all the time and we started going fishing and he tried to cook that wasn't great but mom helped and then those moments like everything changed right yeah and um that's called changing your family tree that's incredible man and you know what the interesting thing is that if you're listening to us right now you can do it you can do it you yeah i'm talking to you i know you're driving on the interstate you think i'm not talking to you i'm talking to you right now you can do this i'll shut up stop your whining you can do it this is the ramsey shack [Music] [Music] so [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host open phones at 825-5225 kevin is in denver hi kevin how are you doing pretty good how are you better than i deserve what's up in your world well i could use some help with getting my debt snowball going and i'm having trouble with the zero sum budget um i believe i'm on baby step number two okay you got a thousand dollars uh five you have five thousand dollars yes okay good well baby step one is one thousand dollars baby step two is we list all of our debts smallest to largest pay minimum payments on everything but the little one and attack the little one with any money we can find from any source and that would include four thousand dollars which is the fi the four above the one and so we're going to throw that at the smallest depth that's definitely going to get you rolling what's your very smallest debt my smallest debt is i believe 230 dollars all right it's gone what's the next one what's that what's the next one the next one is i'll have it right here um 5 315. go from 250 to 5 000 well see um i have a life insurance loan i have a retirement loan and um the only other all my utilities are basically paid i got them on automatic pay yeah utilities are not a debt that's a budget item okay yeah so you you and life insurance loan's going to be gone are you healthy can you get life insurance uh actually i have some some issues you know i have um obesity um high blood pressure well actually it's not high anymore but i have a history of it yeah if you can get some term insurance it'll probably be cheaper than the whole life and then the whole life being cancelled will pay off that loan that is not a loan you want to repay that's a loan you want to get rid of by getting rid of that policy how much do you owe on your retirement account uh 3 500. and seven okay 3056.70 your second smallest debt is the retirement account yeah okay so if you had four thousand dollars in your hand you could pay off those first two debts correct do you have any other debt i do i have student loans both me and my wife have i have 63 000 in student loans and my wife has 119. oh what do you guys make of here a little over 100. okay all right now then but so we knock off these two little first debts and we're gonna with some of the money you had in savings taking you down to one thousand we're gonna get you on that zero-based budget and get you going and uh meaning that every dollar just has an assignment before the month begins each and every month every dollar has an assignment that's all it means the every dollar app will help you do that and i'm going to sign you up for a year for ramsey plus and that's going to allow you you and your wife to go through financial peace university there's a really good bunch of lessons in there on how to do that zero-based budget and the every dollar premium app is part of it i'm gonna pay for all of it and give it to you free the only thing i ask that you do is you get your butt out of debt get yourself straightened up and then you go help somebody else someday but with your generosity because you're not broke anymore that's what i want you to do so you hold on and kelly will get you signed up and we'll get you moving in the right direction and here's the deal kevin when you and your wife sit down every week and say what's our budget look like go ahead and say what is our calendar going to look like what are three or four things we can do to move our bodies this week we go for a walk together after dinner can we go for a walk in the morning together when we're just gonna look out and not even say anything to one another to have a cough whatever it but what you're going to see is a level of intentionality that starts with your money that ends up with your marriage and your relationship and your calendar and what work looks like and what physical fitness is going to look like and you're going to find you said you struggle with obesity and high blood pressure you're going to find that that level intentionality is going to begin to to slowly invade all corners of your life and you're going to wake up in a year two years three you're going to be out of debt you're going to be making a little bit more money your marriage is going to be different your health is going to be different and all of this stuff begins to work together with that one magic word intentionality right there's a saying that discipline begets discipline every time but what really happens is that once you take the initiative in one area of your life whatever that area is and you say i can control my behavior in this area and then you have some success with that it just says well i could control this other area then and then oh well maybe i could control this other area the number of times that we see someone get out of debt simultaneously improve their marriage simultaneously lose weight and it's not because they weren't eating because they were living on beans and rice that's not the point they were it's just the discipline they just we had a guy in here one time did a debt-free screen lost 260 pounds while he was getting out of debt i mean he was just it was an amazing story we actually did a a youtube special on him and put it on youtube channel it was a beautiful story but there's that that thing of once i know that i can make me do something i can do hard stuff that's right then i know i can make me do something else and something else and something else there's a confidence that builds uh in your ability to control your environment and there's this confidence that's built with dave we are so we are so beholden to these magical things called feelings i don't feel like working out this morning i don't feel like eating i feel like eating that instead of that i feel like buying this thing and there's something about learning here's a budget and i want to buy this but i'm not going to because i said i wasn't gonna and then you start to realize oh i need to feel these feelings but they don't always tell me the truth they don't have to live by them anymore and i didn't feel like running this morning dave you probably didn't feel like get up and go for but we did it and we're going to do it again tomorrow and you can do it again tomorrow the feelings sometimes don't matter it's that discipline i can do it i can do hard stuff i can do hard stuff i live only by feelings that's the definition of being a child there you go i mean adults are allowed to have feelings but not live by that you got to challenge it yeah that's right you know adults devise a plan and follow it children do what feels good that's right because when you're when you're basically a child whether you're living in an adult body or not all you do is what feels good but it feels good i don't feel like it i don't feel like i'm in love anymore i don't feel like i want to be a dad anymore i don't feel like i want to be a mom anymore i don't feel like i want to work anymore i don't feel like i and everything's about you you selfish little brat you know and we've all got that kid that lives inside of us but this thing called growing up is when you say in spite of the feelings i'm also going to do what is wise and what is good and what is noble and do it anyway do it again i'm going to go for a walk this morning i know it's raining but i haven't missed a day in 517 days and i'm going for a walk this morning i know that me and my wife are um not talking great i'm still gonna get up and make her coffee right and i'm still going to say good morning how are you i'm still gonna do those things even when i don't feel like it and you're gonna see that just bear fruit over years and years later man that that's what's so weird about this whole get out of that thing it's like that snowball okay we just paid off the first two nets right just now just now did it while he's on the air on the air and i mean he hadn't done it yet but i told him what to do and so you know the the that gives you this sense of oh look at that i can control it i can just do this i can i can make some progress and we make a hundred thousand dollars a year let's uh try let's save it up for next month the next month and pay off the next one right let's get on it let's get this next year you actually took off three of them because he's going to go and cancel that whole term policy he's going to get a whole life polish um a term life policy and um he's going to go from there right that's a good good point yeah so he got three debts taken off in one phone call right so it's just that i don't feel like it i'm gonna do it anyway and you know what he didn't pay anything for that free advice and free and i gave him the whole thing from a couple of handsome guys that's what you get man where are they i don't know they're back there with kelly and ben yeah the next segment is on delusional yes i just i wish everyone can see the power of saying i don't feel like i'm gonna do it anyway and you do that 30 days you do it 60 days 90 days and literally everything in your life changes everything and you begin to build new brain synapse your brain changes your body changes your mind changes your money change everything changes takes 30 days 60 days 90 days but what happens when you build confidence like that that's called faith hope yes you know and hope you can control that's right you can decide to look for it yeah and and and when you don't have it it's called a broken heart you know the proverb says hope deferred makes the heart sick that's right but when desire comes it is the tree of life i love it you can go looking for beauty and hope you can find it it's well and you can actually manufacture it every single day ah i love it man little hope factory there we go dr john doloni ben and kelly in the booth good hour this is the ramsey show [Music] dave here we just launched a brand new listener survey we want to know what you think about the show you'll be entered to win a 100 amazon gift card no purchase necessary take the survey ramsey solutions dot com survey or text survey to 33 789 [Music] this is the ramsay show you can be intentional about your character you can have money and a career you are the hero in your story [Music] live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios it's the ramsey show where debt is dumb cash is king and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the bmw as the status symbol of choice dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today we're talking about your life and your money dr deloney on his show talks about all kinds of relationship things mental health issues of all kinds boundary issues of all kinds and we weave those into the ramsay show when he's along with us and sometimes we do when he's not and we just reference him so i'm glad he's here today open phone's a triple eight eight two five five two two five that's triple eight eight two five five two two five curtis is with us curtis is in lexington kentucky hi curtis welcome to the ramsey show thank you dave what's up well i got a question i like you tell from many other people i think i know what you're going to say but i wanted to ask anyway okay i've got 20 000 worth of credit card debt and it's charging me around 24 interest and so i was wondering if i was thinking about refinancing my house because i can save two percent on my mortgage and doing a cash out to pay off the credit cards or do a heloc which would be around seven or eight percent and pay off the credit cards and pay off the heloc faster than i'm going to do paying minimum payments on the credit card what's your household about 45 to 50. [Music] you have any money no sir okay i got about 500 okay how old are you 65 okay all right well um the problem is is that the credit card debt is the symptom of other things going on and if you paid it off really really fast the interest doesn't matter much and it's gonna be tough to pay it off really really fast you're working 40 hours do you work 40 hours a week yes sir okay what do you do i'm in transportation okay all right are you married yes sir and does she work no sir how come she's on disability oh okay so your household income with you in transportation and her disability payments is a total of forty five thousand dollars yes sir okay all right cool well obviously the credit card debt is due to overspending can we agree on that i agree okay credit cards have been cut up that's good good first step well done sir all right and so then the trick is to get rid of them as fast as possible you really can't borrow your way out of debt you're just moving it around and so you're right i'm going to tell you not to move it over onto your mortgage but that's going to entail that you guys really cut your budget to the bone and do anything you can to create some extra income uh and and let's get those credit cards paid off very very quickly see the interest rate isn't the problem it's the debt we've got to get rid of the debt that's what's killing you and then the interest is attached to that if you want to refinance your mortgage in the meantime and lower your interest rate two percent if you're going to keep the house that's a wise thing to do but no i would not recommend a cash out because i don't want you to move credit card debt where you bought a stake you couldn't afford and uh you now you finished it 30 years over on the house and that's what ends up that's what credit card debt is i mean it was crappy bought at target now it's financed 30 years over at the house or it's something or you know repair on the car and now it's financed 30 years over on the house and so i just it just it just sticks in my throat and i just can't i can't tell you to do that i don't think it's wise long term short term it feels pretty good and you're right it does get rid of a high interest rate but i i really really really want you to do something to get your income up your out go down and slam that credit card debt and say hey sometime in the next uh 18 to 24 months it's going to be gone that means 10 000 bucks a year extra coming from somewhere part-time job something and uh attacking that and and forcing it and getting rid of it but i'm proud of you for cutting up those cars that's a big first step and uh um i'm in the old dog club too i can say this it's tough for us old dogs to learn new tricks i'm proud of you for doing that and can i tell you um i just for some encouragement here i've watched my my dad's 70 and i watched him transition a couple of different positions over the last few years and he's found something that he just absolutely loves about two years ago and so still within the same basic um realm of his expertise but i want to encourage curtis it may feel like i'm 65 no one's going to hire me i can't do anything else so i'm just stuck doing this thing that may or may not be true depending on where you live and what you want to do and what you're willing to invest to learn something new and i've watched my old man do it it's pretty neat curtis i think you can do it like dave said um there may be some late nights at driving and driving on top of driving but just get this stuff out of your life and you're gonna stand six inches taller when this thing's over yeah it changes everything for you holler at the same anytime brother if we can help sydney is in san diego hi sydney how are you dave how's it going great how can we help okay well first of all we love you we're debt-free um and all because of you we just love you so much um but we're wondering so disneyland is back open and we are wondering if we if it's okay for us to make monthly payments on our disney passes just because we're thinking if california shuts down again will we be out of our money for the passes oh so you want to buy season passes to disneyland correct yes they have a month they have a monthly plan or an annual plan yes and it's an interest-free plan and it is so is the if you quit paying the monthly does the pass just stop correct okay well that's just like you're buying anything else then that's more of a subscription than it is a debt okay so i mean you can stop by if you bought who put cable tv in your house and you decided you didn't want anymore you stopped doing it right okay and you don't have the bill anymore and that's what this is what's the difference between the annual plan and the monthly plan um well the annual plan is 650 up front and then the monthly pa the monthly plan is 40 a month for 12 months so the monthly plan is cheaper by 200 dollars that's something's wrong well it's i was i'm not 40 times 12 is 480 480 is less than 650. they're charging you less for the monthly plan by oh you know what i think that you i'm sorry i think that you also have to make a down payment when you first sign up for the plan the monthly plan okay that's probably equal to the difference yeah just just do the math because you may find out that it's five months is going to pay for the annual plan and i understand not wanting to have them holding your money um if they have if california shuts down again but yeah do the math on it yeah make sure you gotta have the other piece of this what's the down payment if the down payment's 400 now you got 880 bucks versus 650 that's not interest-free darlin you know it's just a different price plan where they made you wish you'd paid interest this is the ramsey show [Music] [Applause] [Music] so [Music] still on baby step number one huh how'd you guess with health care costs rising learn how christian healthcare ministries can help you make the most out of your budget visit chministries.org budget don't worry it's worth it [Music] so [Music] dr john baloney ramsey personality is my co-host today here is talking about term life insurance all the time because term life insurance can make all the difference financially for your family if you pass away your family should not have to worry about money at a time like that no one should our term life calculator makes it easy for you to find the right policy it shows you how much coverage you need takes less than five minutes to get your numbers and here's what to expect first answer a few questions to give us a snapshot of your life situation our free calculator will then tell you how much coverage you need about 10 to 12 times your annual income and how long you need to keep the insurance and then that's the term and then you'll be able to compare rates and select the best policy zander insurance our trusted ramsey trusted partner they'll shop over a dozen top insurance carriers find you the best deal it's that easy to get your results text term life to 33 789 we'll make all this happen for you for free that's term life at three three seven eight nine chris is with us chris is in san antonio texas hi chris how are you hey dave how you doing today better than i deserve what's up i can echo that certainly rob so i've been hearing a lot of your advice about life insurance policies and that's something top of mind right now i just turned 50 years old so that's really a benchmark moment in my life and now that i have someone in my life i look beyonce and we'll see uh oh we're listening where'd you go chris are you gonna come back you wandered off chris chris i'm gonna put you on hold kelly i'll pick up see if we can get you plugged back in brother all right travis is in hopkinsville kentucky hi travis how are you good how are you mr dave and mr john better than we deserve sir what's up well i'm just wondering i've got going through a little divorce now she woke up one day told me she didn't want me anymore didn't want to be with me after a little little almost three years i'm sorry too got made in 2019 well i've got a little student loan and a little truck loan gym membership and a student loan is 185 a month truck loan is about 375 a month gym membership at 20 a month and i make about 16 an hour with no benefits a little bit of ot and my question is should i buy the house that i'm leaving that me and my wife are living in now from my mother at roughly 130 000 or should me and my mother because it's her house continue to split the payments of about 300 a month um your mother doesn't live there right correct she lives on the other side of nashville about two and a half hours away okay and what is the house worth um [Music] she said she my mother's told me she's had offers at right now 160 just as it sits without anybody coming inside and looking at it but that's just what people would offer her that's not an actual agent or an appraiser how how old are you sir i'm 27 be 28 december well sound like you've had a hard year sir i'm sorry yes sir um what i what i would have you to do before you buy a home from anyone your mother anybody else is to become debt-free have an emergency fund in place right um so that means we need to clean up um the gym membership is a membership that's not a debt but the rest of it is debt we need to clean up and um if you can't get ot at this place you maybe need to look for some ot somewhere else uh the second second as soon as i get off the phone with you i'm headed to my side hustle to mow yards okay good good well you're not afraid of hard work that's for sure no sir and um so the the on the career side of things the next question you start asking yourself is i'm 27 um and i make you know 30 35 000 a year so what um what am i going to be doing when i'm 37 that pays double that and what steps have i got to take to get there those are ken coleman type questions if you've ever listened to him and so to develop a long-term career path that gets you up and beyond where you are there is no shame in where you are at all you're not afraid of hard work you work hard for the money that you got i'm proud of you for doing all that uh but i don't want you doing the exact same thing making the exact same money ten years from now do you no okay so what is your plan what are you going to be when you grow up so to speak well i actually um just quit my job about a month ago and now i'm doing i follow ken coleman and i did jump out on a limb and started my career path i'm the assistant golf course superintendent at a local golf course here and looking to move up to the head superintendent i like it okay you're way ahead of me then all right i'll step back then and let you and ken run that path you're doing a good job with it well done thank you all right yeah let's hold off on buying the house till you're debt-free and have an emergency fund in place and that is also going to give you the side benefit of giving your heart your broken heart some time to heal yeah trap is something we do when somebody pulls the the carpet out from under us is we start trying to grab for stability and it feels like buying mom's house is gonna give you a foundation and right it's it's it's not it's gonna be another albatross around your neck right now because you can't afford it okay because i've lived here for 25 years and this is where i grew up as a kid no i got you there's your heart your heart is looking for a place that's going to receive it back right yes sir what i want you to do is stop looking at truck payments stop looking at other payment find out how much you owe and get out of debt and let that be where you begin to get stability get stability in taking steps after step after step towards a whole guy don't try to look into your past and try to re recreate something you've had and your mom may say well then forget you i'm gonna sell the house if that's what she chooses to do that's what she chooses to do go rent a one bedroom apartment while you climb out of this mess exactly but you can get there man exactly so here's okay so ken is giving you a path to run on and john just gave you some really important words there um the old joke is that broke people tell you how much the payments are rich people tell you how much debt they got right you know how much down how much a month that's the broke people talk uh how much is what rich people ask and so not how much debt they've got but how much that's what they say not not how much down how much a month so quit thinking of your debt in terms of payments start thinking of it as i have this much car debt i have this much student loan debt and i got to get rid of it you may have to sell your truck you may i mean you do what you got to do brother get out of debt and find that to find the stability walking forward yeah and that the beautiful thing about that is it gives you something to focus on while your heart is healing that's right and uh and you don't have to buy a house right now uh so you that house will be there you're gonna get all this done probably a year and a half two years and then you'll buy the house from your mom's probably what's gonna happen or you may decide you don't want to live there that's okay too by the way open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five scott is in las vegas hey scott welcome to the ramsay show how you doing uh i just want to thank you uh first of all for your plan uh and uh your teachings on goals because uh between being debt-free as of today i will be uh i've lost 54 pounds and we're talking about that in the last days yeah look at you dude way to go but my question is uh right at the moment i am uninsurable and through my current job i have life insurance approximately 210 000 good and i want to know like what uh if i'm looking to change jobs to get more income how much of a salary increase is would it be worth to make the change so why are you uninsurable i had a heart attack four years ago and i've had a couple of different uh you know throwing they've done some stints two other times since then okay and uh i'm obese uh not as much as you were yeah you're down brother so you're on your way to you're on your way to solving this long term that's right short term you need the coverages um there's not enough income to just say oh the family will be okay if i die uh i gave up you know two three times my salary so i i i'd want to make a lot more if i changed in the short term in this short term no it's not going to take care of them if you die but i'd want to make a lot more because you start to look at some policies that are going to be rated but you can get them and that's in your near term future [Music] [Music] dr john dolone ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsay solutions on the debt-free stage ethan and taylor are with us hey guys how are you hey dave better than we deserve how are you better than we deserve welcome where do you guys live uh we live close to wilmington delaware oh yeah okay cool welcome to nashville how much debt have you paid off forty six thousand forty six thousand dollars how long did that take about seven months wow whoa and your range of income during that time started around 73 ended around 76. cool what do y'all do for a living i'm an engineer and i'm a stand-up stay-at-home dad and also he did some door dashing too okay cool what kind of debt was the 46 000 it was two cars some student loans and some phones wow okay so tell us about your journey what put you on to this and what made you decide to do it and what'd you do so the start of the journey was definitely my maternity leave where i decided to pick up the book that had been sitting on my shelf for a couple years at that point oh the old dust collecting routine yes it finally called out to me when i had some free time um and ironically my mom's actually the one that got it for me and as i started digging into it her and my dad were hesitant about some of the advice but obviously we went all in yeah um in september we sold my car and that's whoa it got real serious yes that's when things got real serious right what did you sell what kind of car chevy cruze okay and what did it sell for like 12 or something we owed like 15. okay and the other car is what uh honda hrv okay all right fun fun so when you got when you start selling cars the parents are like i'm sorry i gave you this book and now you've joined a cult and i'm worried about you and yeah it was the stopping the 401k contributions that made my dad worry ah okay it was a temporary thing dad come on he hears you right now so i'm glad you can tell him i don't blame him i understand the nerd part of it but uh we have found that when people focus on something is when they win at it and that's what you guys have done you you went all in yep and so after we sold the car then we started just playing a show all the time at our house that's how our one and a half year old is a huge fan of you because she just sees you on tv all the time oh my gosh well i'm honored and especially the debt free screams too sh when she was first even just learning how to clap she's always loved to clap for those so should be exciting to see what she thinks today for sure that's great that's fun so uh what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is um i say first secret is a zero-based budget um even people who don't want to hear my dave ramsey spiel i tell them about zero-based budgeting like here minimum everyone would benefit from zero-based budgeting yeah congress congress for sure um and then just being all-in gazelle intense don't let anyone convince you not to be all in who had the first conversation with who that sat down and looked across the table and said i think we should do this and you're an engineer so did you spreadsheet him no no just kind of the broad concepts to get him intrigued by it i think you got to start a little bit and work your way in with all the details the very mystical baby steps yeah you were all in yeah absolutely just like that just cool i mean you did it in seven months that's impressive yeah you like you sprinted through the big thing march so we paid off everything in april and march we had a ton of wind falls it was like i was saying hey you guys are meant to get out of this quickly and so we had like 12k and wind falls just in march so that that helped speed things up a lot and sold a 12 000 car that helped as well yes so that's 24 of the 46. yeah yeah all right that makes a lot of difference and then you knock the rest of it in the head wow very very good cool so the zero-based budget is the secret and uh what else do you tell people just to have a clear goal just be focused and very very clear nothing gets in the way mm-hmm yeah that's it sounds so simple it does yeah until you start actually doing it and you know then all kinds of there are legions of spouses right now looking at you man um thinking i wish it was that easy you could just sit across the table and say that's what we're doing and you'd go okay we'll sell the car tomorrow okay come in have a great day that's awesome man the world needs more ethan's out there this is true very fun very fun so outside the two of you who are your biggest cheerleaders probably our parents other than the questions yeah yeah okay towards the end they were convinced as the numbers starting you know to go in our direction like oh this might actually be good yeah yeah look at that they're free yeah how's it feel to be free that's great incredible was it worth selling the car to get it oh yeah it's worth every bit of it absolutely all the windfalls throwing it all at it everything you get so much more control you can see your budget and as you pay off the debt more and more is in your control and you can say this is where i want that to go not to that payment not to that other bank for them to build their skyscrapers what was it like in may or june when uh you got your paycheck deposited and then you didn't have any bills it was crazy it's pretty wild huh yeah just start to see the numbers go up in your emergency funds that first time you know going from 1k to 2k is like whoa it doubled yeah yeah that's a lot of fun what was the hardest part of this for y'all staying focused i guess when not many people are ramsey-minded yeah that's true that makes sense okay cool and you brought the one and a half year old with you nate what's her name emily emily is one and a half years old and she's been practicing clapping to her dead free screen as long as she's been clapping indeed that's awesome what a way to learn how to clap i like it that's good stuff we got a copy of the legacy journey for you that's for sure your next uh chapter in your story you are changing little emily's legacy for sure and we got a copy of the total money makeover for you to give away so it can collect uh dust on somebody else's shelf until until it calls out to them so that's how it's supposed to work it's the world's largest uh coaster little girl she is precious goodness cute cute cute fun stuff all right hey kiddo what's up all right here we go ethan taylor and emily wilmington delaware 46 000 paid off in seven months making 73 to 76 000 a year count it down let's hear a debt free scream three two one [Applause] i love it oh that's fun that is exactly the how this is supposed to work well done well done patrick is in tampa hi patrick welcome to the ramsay show oh hi thank you for taking my call dave sure what's up all right um now i've been working on your baby steps for a while now i'm in trying to eliminate all my debts out now unfortunately there is a collection that's on my record that's been on there for uh since 2018 that i really do not want to pay because it really shouldn't be my responsibility to pay that why well because well here's the thing that collection came from an apartment complex that i moved out of in 2017 that they gave me that me and my brother moved out of so when we moved out we they gave us the okay to go uh business new apartment complex and then when the lease ran up on it which was around september and october september i'm not sure when but it's around that time me and my brother was already in a different apartment complex and and then while my mother was already because i was living with my mother at the time but we was already gone at the time and then when we come to when we decided to go find another place of uh to live in from the new carpet conference we got it that's when we discovered the collection on a record why did they put a collection on you why did you own money well according to the uh lawyer because i was like i said i was living with my mother at the time and we all signed the that's just me my two brothers and my other three siblings they said that according to them that since that we our names were on the lease still and my mother didn't move out at that time and when the lease was up it was a whole barrel hold over to this so therefore we owe the money on it actually they're right and you're wrong you own the money and so what i would do if i reuse i'd get on the phone with them and create a dollar amount hopefully at a discount that will settle with them and i'd pay them yeah and get it out of your life it's not going away they got you you you lose not only do you lose on a moral basis because what they just said actually occurred she's living in the apartment she's a holdover tenant they charged your rent and your name is on the lease you guys were irresponsible on how you handled the business transaction and came back to bite you in the butt so you're gonna need to go clean it up hopefully you can settle it for a few dollars and be done with it and not only get off your record but get it out of your life and out of the back of your mind and it'll feel good to clean up and do the right thing because that's really what you need to do here this is the ramsey show [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] our scripture today first corinthians 16 13 and 14 be on your guard stand firm in the faith be courageous be strong do everything in love henry ford said one who fears failure limits his activities failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again oh i like that failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again good stuff brandon is in miami hi brandon welcome to the ramsay show oh my god like thank you for that the prayer right now um because thank you guys for being men of faith too that you guys are teaching people thank you and honestly changing lives and it's something that i look up to and i spend hours hours and hours and i was watching these videos and i'm seeking i'm not sure because i started a business um a couple years ago and i was in debt and i basically started from zero like handing out flyers to people and what i do is i clean and ceramic coat boats so i have an opportunity to make good money but it's just i don't feel like i'm that deeply rooted like i'm not passionate about it so i just wake up and i go do the job and then it kind of feels sometimes like i'm dragging and i'm bringing home pretty decent money but it just doesn't feel purposeful what kind of money are you making um it depends on the job like sometimes i mean what do you make in a year i haven't i really haven't done the numbers that that good like that well you did your taxes opinion yeah so what'd you pay taxes on um i think it was around like 40 but the thing was that i also i i slack off a lot it's not that i'm working every single day too i work once or twice a week a week okay so so brandon this isn't a passion problem it's not a job problem this is a branding problem you're watching a lot of videos trying to find that one spark that's going to get you up and going and one of the themes of all these videos you're watching is you just got to get going yeah it's been my experience hold on people get passionate about things they're good at and you get good at stuff that you practice over and over and over again and you're not gonna yeah you're not gonna get passionate about something it didn't have to be this job but you're not gonna get passionate so i'm working i'm good at it yeah but you only do it two days a week man it's nothing to do with the job that's what i'm saying it's a choice why aren't you getting up every day and going and doing it five days a week um i don't know i just here's the thing for it if if if i gave you any job i have a feeling that in about two months you'd start slacking off is that fair no okay good i'm glad you pushed back so what do you want to do man see that's what i was gonna say so i'm kind of i'm doing this i'm doing this business but then on the side i've noticed and it's just it rubs off on me that people are spending ridiculous amounts of money on just basic stuff and no one has any money saved up and this is an actual problem that i see going on so then i just you guys preach and i feel like i'm so attracted to it that's why i spent hours on it because i resonate with this and this information i've helped my friends get out of debt and i've helped them like change their lives but it always feels like then when i go work for a paycheck then i'm not into it so i was thinking that maybe i continue doing what i have to do now for for a salary and then on the side um help people with their finances you can start that way i mean you could go through the uh master coach training program that we have and learn how to do financial coaching and maybe just help some people at your church with at first and and see if that lights you up but in the meantime it's going to be really good discipline for you to force yourself to work five days a week or six yeah do you struggle with depression man um yeah i guess mental mental health but how long have you struggled with that god do all that um i mean i've never diagnosed i'm not i don't know i know but i know it's been my whole life okay your whole life how old are you uh 24. i want you to go talk to somebody that's going to be your first courageous step and go tell them that it's hard to get out of bed sometimes that sometimes it's hard to find motivation to do work and you find yourself trapped in these internet cycles where you're watching and watching and you love being connected to people in those magic moments because this is bigger than that this is bigger than i just don't have passion for cleaning boats you may not and that's okay man but this is this is bigger than that like dave said the discipline of i'm gonna get up every day and go work six days a week is that's not the issue isn't either because i'm a hard worker i i can go like this morning for an example i woke up by five and i got the boat done around 12. and when you when you work when you work you're a hard worker but you seldom work exactly exactly so by definition that's not a hard worker you should have three boats today or not if you could have three boats today and three boats every day this week and next week and the week after yeah i think i think what's happening is is that um i think john's telling you something that's very very important um you're exhibiting the symptoms of someone who is depressed you've got no energy to get up and do basic things in life and that is one of the symptoms of someone who's struggling with depression and i don't i don't think it's a thing that's going to put you in the hospital i don't think it's going to ruin your life but i think you're going to whatever you set your hand to you're going to struggle with because of this until you deal with this and i i don't know what it was that that happened to you that has caused this but this lack of energy uh a focus of the ability to play through other than in short bursts is an indicator you really do need to sit down and talk to a good counselor and there's no shame in that by the way the shame would be if you don't do it right and and so this is these are two guys we're not um you know we're we're not uh uh we're not psychiatrists we're not prescribing drugs to you we don't know any of that stuff we're just saying our observation of life is that um if you were my son i would put my arm around you and i would walk you to a coach to a counselor that can walk you through this and say all right let's do it it might be it might be a fairly short period of time that you learn some things about yourself and all of a sudden you start feeling your energy level come up that's exactly right and when you've been living under a a heavy blanket for so long yeah it just feels like well just go look at the next thing and that thing will light me up and that will light me up and then you get little glimpses of joy little glimpse of that fire coming to light inside of you when you help somebody get out of debt and that might be your future man but right now your that future of going to help people get out of debt is going to turn into the same thing that you're dealing with the boats and the same thing you've dealt with with every job you've had since you're a little kid and that is that well let's just go back to the computer and maybe later maybe later maybe later so man you are worth going to talk to somebody and having that light on all the time yeah brandon uh you're a good guy absolutely love yourself enough to go work on this plan really do um again if you were my son my son's a couple years older than you i just put my arm around you and i would hold you so tight you couldn't get loose and we would walk into a counselor's office and you sit your butt down i would walk out and let them talk to you and make you do it because that's that's how strongly i feel about it okay and uh and that would be a dad loving his son that's all it would be and so that's what i'm doing that's what we're doing right now so just feel my arm come around your shoulder i'm not letting go of you you are walking in there bud now you're doing this okay and that's going to change it's going to help everything everybody goes through sometimes that they that they have dealt with some level of trauma and it knocks the breath out of you and different people takes them longer to get their breath than others and that's all we're talking about that's exactly right and then sometimes right when you're about to get your breath again something else pulls you back and right and it's just it's the season and that's why you need people whether they're professional or their friends and or and or that's right yeah you need connection you need both of them but um yeah you gotta have people to walk with you and there's gonna be seasons i don't wanna get up and come shoot another show and you get up and you go again right do it do it anyway dude anyway and if you can't do that that's that blanket on you go talk to somebody yeah that by definition then it's just hard work right good for you brandon thanks for calling man absolutely good job john good job ben and kelly in the booth i am dave ramsey your host we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus [Music] dave here we just launched a brand new listener survey we want to know what you think about the show you'll be entered to win a 100 amazon gift card no purchase necessary take the survey at ramseysolutions.com survey or text survey to 33 789 [Music] you

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Full Episodes

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Id: z7CQTgb33yQ

Length: 121min 10sec (7270 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 02 2021