Do You Really Think That's Normal? (Friends Stories r/AskReddit)

what's the weirdest thing that you've seen at someone's house that they thought was completely normal I knew a girl who would get glasses of water and whenever she couldn't finish the whole thing she would dump the rest on the carpet because it just absorbs it I went to high school with a girl whose family would dress up their house like a model home being sold or something for example the dining room table was dressed with a plastic Thanksgiving feast with plastic food on nice plates and fake wine in fake glasses when you walked into her bedroom the bed was made with top corner open as if she just got out of bed and there was a tray with a fake bowl of cereal and a fake glass of orange juice on the floor were coloring books and crayons as if a child lived in the room they kept the place spotless and every room had an odd theme of fake living her parents bedroom had quite a few large African animal statues and fake rose petals leading to the bed when I moved citizen great two or three I didn't know anyone I met someone the first day and he invited me to his house that weekend to stay over everything was great we played GameCube and stayed up until 3 a.m. the latest I had been awake up to that point he said we had to sleep in the basement so that we don't wake his parents when we went upstairs we'd go downstairs with our sleeping bags and immediately I knew something was wrong the worst smell I've ever experienced filled my nostrils the further we descended in the corner of the room was a bed covered in what looked like crusty blood and some past colored streaks turns out his mother had a home birth the week before and kept the sheets as a memento I haven't been back since you'd think that the baby would be a good enough memento whole items of food left for days on the floor toddler not interested in that Apple that's fine just leave it there on the floor where he threw it it will work its way under a piece of furniture and out of sight if we give it some time once I went to these people's house and there was an entire sandwich sitting in the corner of the living room floor I was so distracted by it I didn't really hear much of what was said during that visit I just sat and stared at the floor wig I was friends with My Little League baseball coaches son one day I was invited to their house for a playdate as I walked through the door I saw huge framed white cloth with some weird symbol I didn't think much about it because at the time I didn't know WTF it was my coach noticed me looking at it as I entered the house and said my granddad wore bat it's been in the family for years naturally I was like oh okay whatever and thought nothing of it again now that I am older I realize what it was KKK robe worst part is that I am NOT white worst part is that I am NOT white looks like granddad would agree when my brother and I were kids we would often comment that our next-door neighbor's house smelled like pee one day my brother was playing video games with the kid from next door at his house and asked to use the restroom the kid said we just pee here and started peeing in the closet my brother peed in there too When in Rome bathroom moschetti because you know just in case man it's literally nothing more than a real machete that hangs in their bathroom so if someone breaks in while you're fighting dirt dragons you want at a total disadvantage everyone there was surprised when I said I'd never heard of it I now keep a bathroom hammer handy because the damnit it's a great idea had a friend in high school went to his house for the first time and everything smelled like pee turns out he had a dog and his family never bothered to potty train or clean up after it everything in the house was covered in old dried-up urine and fresh puddles while I was there the dog peed on my friend's bed and he didn't even care he literally sleeps in his dog's pee even I got peed on never went to his house again we were getting something out of his dad's closet when I noticed there was a ton of expensive electrical equipment in the back of it all still boxed up I asked him about it apparently his dad keeps everything new he gets for a year before he unboxes it and actually uses it he didn't know why and it still boggles my mind the extent to which the owners had gone to preserve their furniture each piece of furniture including the lampshade had a custom cut plastic shell draped over it every furniture leg had a plastic bowl underneath had to distribute weight across the carpet preventing indents the strangest part was the plastic pathways laid out across the floor these pathways were kind of like plastic carpets laid on top of the real carpet you weren't allowed to walk on the actual carpet instead you had to walk on these plastic mats that crisscross the floor and connected all the rooms to each other still undefeated champions of the floor is lava my friend's dad when I was a kid I used to stay for dinner as kids do but the dad would not eat with us the mom would make a plate of food take it down the hall and slide him half way under the door to the basement a few seconds later the plates would slowly slide under the door nobody if a house seemed to think this was odd but I thought it was weird as Frank the other odd thing this family did was every weeknight at 7 o'clock on the dot the family would clear out of the living room so the dad could come and watch Star Trek once the show was over he would go back into the basement and the family would move back into the living room freaking what the father was quiet but seemed to be normal other than those odd habits the family thought none of that was weird and my friend thought it was funny my dad ate with us at dinner we had a human skull in a glass case in our living room growing up it was years before I figured out that was really weird my mom got it from a doctor friend or something just some random head not like a relative or anything we called him Freddie and had to superglue his jaw back on every few years when it fell off I guess I had repressed the memories but just typing this now I recall touching it and playfully tossing it around gently at times I'm torn between wanting to respect the dead and really wanting a skull my friend's mom often threatened to murder the whole family when she was angry this was very scary to me but my friend hardly thought anything of it she just acted like that was normal mom's stuff I went to a friend's house and they had their holes lined with grandfather clocks this was a little weird but nothing major the weird part came when his dad told me and my friend don't you kids go around telling anybody about my clocks now we'll never forget about his precious clocks my neighbor was super into grandfather clocks turns out his collection was worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and that was the reason he didn't want anyone to know when he passed many went to a museum I will never forget as a child visiting my friends house and noticing the wallpaper they had in his hallways the patting was off naked women throughout his apartment just little naked women all over the wall we were maybe eight years old and it was amazing a cow tongue in place of a birthday cake it wasn't like they couldn't afford a birthday cake either they just had a cow tongue with a single candle in it I knew a guy one time who would get completely undressed every time he took a crap then take a shower afterwards to really clean up he'd even do this at other people's houses I was about 12 13 visiting my best friend's house for the first time after lunch I get the urge to take a dump so I go to the restroom do my thing finish up and flush nothing nothing happens I take a step back flush again still nothing so I start freaking the Frick out I'm a kid I just broke my friends toilet I don't have any money to pay to fix it or buy a new one I'm standing there sweating trying to figure out a plan and after 15 minutes I still got nothing I finally decide to fess up I mean I can't stay in there all day they'll eventually figure out something is wrong right I step outside and sheepishly tell his mom that I broke the toilet she starts laughing goes into the bathroom and turns on the water flow to the toilet waits a few minutes then flushes easy peasy everyone the best friend his mum and his sister then takes the opportunity to start laughing at me because I didn't know it was normal to turn the water off whenever I needed to use a bathroom to this day if I'm unfamiliar with a restroom I always do a precautionary flush just to make sure everything is working the way it should when I was dating my first girlfriend in high school I was invited over to her house for dinner and meet the parents etc at one point I was talking with her father in his study and noticed lots of l-looking phallic objects on the shelves in the room on closer inspection they were mummified dongs dozens of them turns out he was a urologist and an amateur archaeologist one summer when I was about 13 a friend of mine had a friend from her school that invited us over to go swimming in her pool we go to her place and are shown to her room to change as I'm changing my friend suddenly whispers what the Frick I turn around and see a bunch of used sanitary pads lined up on this girl's desk she comes to join us in her room and my friend flat-out asks how what the pads are all about but she says very plainly they're from my dad so he can check that I'm not pregnant I dated a guy whose family was just odd they just did things so differently sometimes I wondered if they might be aliens no one the house knew how to use a stove they used the microwave or ate out every cabinet and drawer in the house was always wide open like they had no idea you could close them the rest of the house was clean and organized which made it all the stranger his mother walked around naked pretty much constantly and took about ten bars a day his parents would go to McDonald's to watch TV despite having a very nice TV with satellite tipo etc his family had a lot of grandiose tales things like they saved two men from a plane crash and how the mother out trying a pack of wolves in suburban Arizona spent the night at a friend's house in sixth grade he lived with just his mom dad wasn't in the picture and he was an only child so they had a close relationship we were having a great time until his mom called him for bath time with her like together they even left the door opened like it was nothing they could have been polite and offered you were scrubbed down as well girl from my previous work invited some of us over for dinner as it turns out she had removed the toilet seating from her toilet because it doesn't look good enough with it on you actually had to sit on the thin ceramic rim when I was eight years old my friend told me she had Super Mario so of course we went to her house her parents thought it was okay to let her mentally handicapped older brother probably around 15 wander around the house naked with a gigantic erection casually jerking it from room to room the room with the Nintendo was just a mattress no sheets and the TV so at one point he went into the other room and grabbed a chair set it right down next to the TV facing us and went to town her mother walked into the room and let us know it was time for dinner food stamp breakfast cereal and the kid barely touched his food just constant jerking off while Leo ignored it like it was no big deal I had a friend in high school whose family used a GI Joe aircraft carrier as a coffee table 100 2-liter soda bottles filled with urine because the toilet is broken but where was he pooping where was he pooping I had a friend who did this he'd crap in a pizza box then take the box outside and put it in the bin for his building it was a couple of months before he realized the pizza boxes had his name and flat number written on them my parents were in a bowling league and would bring me with them I made friends with a girl who hung out at the bowling alley because she lived in a home on an acre next to it and she invited me to come to her house while my parents bowls we walked to her house and when I walk in there is a lion cub chained to a coffee table in the front room she asks me if I want to pet the lion of course I do I pet the lion we hang out and I go back to the bowling alley like nothing happened I tell my parents and they're like sure you Petelin yes later when I am reading the paper the girl and her family are arrested for illegally having exotic cats I show my parents and have the best told-you-so moment in my life not me but when my dad was younger he went to a friend's house who had a hallway with nude family pictures a couple I know have some rather amorous shots of themselves up in the living room they are into photography so there are a lot of normal pictures of travel and animals and then a few where he is obviously plowing her good one of my wife's co-workers invited a still a dinner party he's a very accomplished doctor who is supposedly considered the foremost authority in his specialty I knew the man had a huge ego but nothing prepared me for what I saw when we went to his home as soon as we walked in the door there was a life-sized painting of himself that one of his patients had given him as a gift nothing strange about that he saved a patient's life and they were very grateful so they gave him a painting his wife takes our jackets hangs them up then walks us to his massive living room where the rest of the guests are mingling as I looked around the room to take in what a magnificent home this man has I noticed that there are hundreds of pictures lining his shelves and walls every single one of those pictures was of him not of his wife not of his four children not of his siblings parents or someone he admires even the pictures that look like they may have been grouped photos were cropped so that only he could be seen I'm terrible at hiding my true feelings my face usually gives me away every time but I spent the next how desperately trying to pretend like this wasn't remotely strange after a few drinks I decided to head to the bathroom I had to take a dump and I'm not shy about doing so at another person's home I walked into their guest bathroom close the door lifted up the lid sat down and grabbed one of a dozen books that were sitting next to the toilet the first book I picked up is written by our host so I picked up another book and it is also written by our host I looked at the bookends and all of them are written by our host part amused in part disgusted I looked up and noticed there is a picture on a small table across from the toilet it's our host again staring at me in the picture while I'm taking a dump I was visiting a friend one time and we were about to go buy a 30 rock at the nearby liquor store I tell him we need to stop by an ATM so I can pick up some cash to pay he just turns and looks at me and goes don't worry about it we can just go to the money drawer this kids family literally kept a drawer full of $20 bills in the kitchen that you could just walk up to and grab whenever you needed something it was pretty surreal I need a money draw I have a changed bar but that doesn't seem like it compares to a money dryer when I was in college I played the drums in a band and we would often practice at the guitar players house because his parents didn't care about the noise the family was weird and the house smelled but the thing that got me was the filth there was always dog pooped somewhere and I don't think they ever flushed or cleaned a toilet all of this was considered normal to them then one day the guy that played guitar walked over to the corner of the room and peed on the floor I was stunned he wasn't drunk or anything like that this was normal to him his parents didn't care either it was just how they did things my friend refuses to vacuum and her carpet is covered in a layer of loose hair I know a guy whose entire home has a layer of dog and cat hair on everything he told me if I vacuum the hair there's gonna be hair on everything in like 30 minutes so I just don't vacuum it dog crap old crusty along with fresh and smelly pitbull crap all over the living room while he just sit and watch TV in the room as if it wasn't even there yet this was my house yet this was my roommate I'd pick it up let the dog out try to housebreak it he did nothing as I packed up my stuff to move out I stopped picking up the dough thinking he'd man up nope I had to step around those massive landmines as I moved out my direct response to a roommates dog crapping on my floor was to bag it up and drop it in his lap your responsibilities are in my way clean up your dogs crap a white carpeted kitchen that's living on the freakin edge you have been visited by The Hangover popper comment do a recover popper and you will never suffer from hangover again if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people QA [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 63,175

Rating: 4.9121299 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, TZ reddit, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 7HbbFBOaYIY

Length: 17min 18sec (1038 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 23 2019