Why Would They Get That Tattoo? (Tattoo Stories r/AskReddit)

so two artists and body pisses over debt what is the most uncomfortable job you have had to do nsw my boyfriend is a tattoo artists and owns his own shop he once did it to two on an uncircumcised gentleman over rabbit right on the head of his dog and a top hat on the foreskin so he would have a rabbit coming out of a hat my buddy who is a pisser was piercing a ginormously Fat Lady's hood he couldn't hold up her belly and pierce so he ran duct tape under her gut and had her hold it up like reins while he worked I've been piercing for about six years now I've seen so many disgusting coochies the back-to-front wipers currently on their period girls and once I saw fresh semen inside of a woman I made a habit of putting a couple drops of lavender oil in my mask to avoid odors it has never made sense to me that people cleaned their noses out before a nostril piercing but don't consider checking their lady bits before a genital piercing you could always wear one of those plague doctor bird masks I had to tattoo Snoopy's doghouse around an older woman's clam when I asked why she said so when my husband annoys me I can send him to the doghouse fun times someone I used to know pierced his own sister's clit he said later that he regretted it I was getting a tattoo and this big homeless-looking guy walks in he looks at me my artist and takes his shirt off he turns around and shows us the dragon tattoo that his half completes on his back he then looks at my artist and says can you make that into like a fire truck or something my artist just exhales deeply as I can guess this guy does this a lot or something and says give me a few minutes to finish this up at a shop in Los Angeles years ago getting some work done asked the same question to the piercing lady she said a guy comes in regularly full business attire three-piece suite briefcase Oxford's a real Patrick Bateman type the first time and he wants to get his dong pierced so he goes to disrobe and from his waist to his mid thigh he is covered in Disney tattoos like covered Donald Duck Mickey Mouse Pluto gang he also already has a dong piercing actually he has close to a dozen after his initial visit he came in every few months to add a dong ring or Disney character she said he was the weirdest client she's ever had when I was in my twenties I was a body pisser and I managed the shop I worked at a rather large woman request to the horizontal hood piercing this is not uncommon what was uncommon was her Anatomy was very small I could Bali find her lady parts so her clitoris was very small and her thighs were very large she was also very nervous and kept clamping her thighs together I tried helping her breath and relax this did not help finally threatened her that if she didn't stop clamping her thighs together she would have a needle in her thigh and a crooked piercing she somewhat cooperated and I finally got her piercing finished one of my worst ever experiences in a woman's crotch former pissah hair I have also had this situation her so I think was with her and she kept shutting her legs so he wouldn't be staring at her snatch so I had to make him leave my friend asked my tattoo artists aquestion well the first paid job I ever had was a bunch of stars coming out of a girl's ass crack I also did one where a guy wanted his girlfriend's name on his arm window that's not the bad part they had already broken up I asked my artists about this and he told me a great story about this good-looking blonde woman maybe early thirties wearing a nice suit she came in with a picture of a dog and wanted a memorial port rug to two of it and set in appointment for the next week first thing he thought was weird was that the picture of the dog looked like just some random dog picture that she found in a magazine or something but then she shows up and informs him that she wants the tattoo on the inside of her butt cheek like right next to her butthole not one to turn down an interesting story he says let's do it so she strips down and spreads out and he starts as if most of it isn't weird enough at this point he notices that she almost seems to be getting off to it her squirming seemed normal at first because people do because it hurts especially considering the location but when she started moaning he knew something was a he said that tattoo took about twice as long as something that size should have because he was having trouble with not laughing and also had to wipe the area constantly because it was hella noise I used to assist in piercings and suspensions at a shot my friend and a guy comes in for a gish piercing he is in a suit and tie not out of the ordinary at that shop there was tunnel under the suit piercing and two two people that came in so for the gish you have to get on your elbows and knees and more or less present he takes off his clothes and is wearing bondage clamps on his nipples still not that odd he gets into position and I go to clean and sterilize the area while the pisser is setting up all the hardware it may seem obvious to everyone reading this as it was to me but how the custom I hadn't thought to remove his massive butt plug during undressing the pisser clamps him and he squeaks we exchanged a little question glance needle goes different squeak jewelry goes on and he moans he gets up off the table puts the bust plug right back in and goes about getting dressed I go to prep the table and he has came all over the table he gets dressed pays well and tips well and goes out the door he came back every year to have it stretched and did the same thing except he remembered to take the butt plug out during his undressing on subsequent visits my friend is a tattoo artist and had some trashy lady and her gangster looking boyfriend come in wanting nasty as tattoo lacrosse her back because it was her boyfriend's pet name for her my friend refused to do it after some debate she told them that if she still wanted that tutu in a year she'd do it for half off thinking the problem was likely to take care of itself a year later there they are again reluctantly she relented after explaining this would be hard to remove hard to cover up and reminding her that it was legit permanent her two weeks later she was back wanting it covered up because they broke up he stayed with her for that year just to see if she would do it not a tattoo artist or pissah myself but I remember the pisser being extremely annoyed that day you ask a guy was in there three days earlier to get his member pierced he came back three days later when I was there to get a tattoo to come back and complain because he thought it was infected as soon as the pisser said why do you think it's infected I saw in her face that she regretted ever asking if a guy got the piercing and then proceeded to do his girlfriend up the Hershey Highway the next day she spent the next half an hour nearly screaming from the stupidity of the guys actions even after she told him to not to get remotely down-and-dirty but he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box I had to change down this woman's tongue bar we offer a free shorter bar after the healing time and as the newbie I got told to do it as my training well first off she smelt of actual pulp which wasn't a good start her whole skin and scalp area was flaking on the shop which again wasn't that great but hey I'll look past him just deal with well in her mouth was where the actual smell of human excrement was coming from every one of her teeth was covered in a yellow white slime of Clark at least a few cm thick the whole bar in her tongue was covered in the white slime - I held my breathe and tried to undo it the whole time her mouth salivating a brown liquid on my hands literally couldn't budge the thing due to the pluck and spit so had to get my boss lady to help me the look in her eyes was so sad when she saw me needing help the smell hit her - so she held her breathe and tried her best - but accidentally bumped her teeth with her hand as she was trying which ended up being dentures that fell out leaving a slime trail down the ladies shirt and onto my boss's shoes spattering this thick cream everywhere never have I wanted to laugh and throw up so much in all my life not a tattoo artist myself but I've been around some enough to have this lovely tail when I was 15 I went with my sister and her friend to see them get their noses pierced while there my sister commented on this clock hanging on the wall it was a basic clock with a picture of a beautiful purple flower as the background the guy laughs and says it is nice and that the background is over tattoo he did she says that it's beautiful if the guy can't stop snickering we asked about the tattoo the tattoo is one he did on a girl's butthole he then tells us that it was his most awkward piece he's ever done because the entire time he was doing it she was orgasming him squirting uncontrollably he said he used more towels on her than half his full back pieces after he says this my sister goes sir you took a picture of it and turned it into a clock and he says yeah I thought it would be an awesome way to tell people this story last time I was getting a tattoo I asked my artist this question apparently at least once a year someone tries to get the tip of their dong tattooed he apparently has an 800 flat fee and a 300 ball handling fee with a no refunds policy earn it or burn it so to speak apparently a guide Trident lasts about one stroke to inch of the first line and baled artists made 1,100 bucks for five minutes of prep work and one second of actual tattoo time I have been piercing for 15 years professionally now and I can say I have probably forgotten more weird stories than I remember but a few standout I was working on the strip in Elias Vegas 10 years ago and a 99% of my business was tourists one night I was finishing a body piercing and out of the corner of my eye I see two older women walk into the studio and start looking at the body jewelry case I let them know that I would be with them in a couple mins after I was done I approached then only to realize it was a nice older lady and a middle-aged man and drag he wasn't even trying to look like a woman it was if he threw this all together at the last minute for a Halloween party smear lipstick crooked sheep wig thrift store dress the woman approaches me and politely asks me what the largest gauge I can pierce her husband's nipples at surprised I showed her and her husband into my room I let him know that he is going to need to take his dress off for me to do the piercing and luckily he was wearing a pair of shorts underneath so it didn't get weirder yet I let her know due to the size of her husband's nipples I felt comfortable doing them lemonade Grande max 3.2 mm she agrees and I do all my prep as I am ready to do the piercings she starts to stroke his wig hair and tell him he's a pretty lit girl over and over I believe some other wrong things were said that I blocked out he took both piercings very well and after we finished he sat up and thanked me in a deep manly voice very politely and slipped me a very nice tip as we were finishing up with off to care instructions and things are about done the wife turns around to ask one last question she asks if I also do body modification work I answer yes and she reaches into her person pulls out a giant metal butt lug before I could really adjust to what I was seeing she asks me is there any way that you know of that we could pierce this into him she explained that they would drill holes around the base of the plug to attach the Rings the point of it being she would be the one who would control when it was in under when it was out since he wouldn't be able to remove it himself I let her know that this was way out of my field of expertise and gave her the name of a practitioner in my field that is known for the S&M side of our industry she thanked me and gave me another large tip and let me know it was for being so professional and not laughing or judging them turns out this was the last hour of their vacation and they were on their way back to rural Iowa where he was a school principal and she was quilter TLDR pierced her old man and dragged while his wife told him he was a pretty girl then asks me if I can pierce a butt plug into him a co-worker off my dad's used to run a piercing tattoo studio before he got into the IT business he got an email from a guy asking if it was possible for him to progressively gauge out his dong hole to the point where another man could freak him up his own Wang that email got moved straight to the trash folder it is possible for anyone wondering my artist told me but when he was tattooing in Phoenix a woman would come in on a regular basis to have him dryline tattooing without ink her inner thigh she would apparently pay for his time and tip him well if she was satisfied a guy wanted up to two other piercing so freakin meter I had a friend that got that done on her ears because she was allergic to nickel and rather than see a pro for a try at a more inert metal she let her scratch her uncle tattoo these nasty frickin flowers or clovers or something unidentifiable on her earlobes in his backyard I had to write the word Gooch on well I'll let you guess there's a locally known guy in my area called padlet at deuter's a lot of tattoos and is an old-school Punk he's a bit of a loose cannon and an all-round oddball Oh Berta nice guy one day he walked into a tattoo parlor and asked to get a tattoo of a coochie on the back of his head this might seem like an odd request but for Pat it wasn't as odd as all that his tattoo artist said sure and asked if he had an idea of what sort of coochie he would like Pat didn't mind and asked him to draw what he wanted the tattoo artist had freaked someone the night before so he drew that coach even memory showed it to Pat who was happy with the design and said go ahead after it was finished Pat got chatting to his artist and asked who this girl was he banged the night before turns out it was Pat's sister the guy happily tells this story to anyone who asks about his tattoo and he still finds it funny he's got a tattoo of his sister's coochie on the back of his head I'm not sure what his sister thinks about it I would have to go with the time a woman came in and wanted nine piercings and two tattoos in one sitting she wanted three new piercings on each ear I believe she already had two for both and nose piercing tongue piercing and one for her clit afterward she wanted two small tattoos that were roughly the size of a playing card as the shop apprentice I began getting all of the piercing equipment out and ready for the pisser to let him take over for the application she does fairly well with the ear piercings but really begins to yell a bit when it comes to the nose and tongue piercings so things are feeling a bit uneasy time rolls around for the hood piercing and I'm told to leave obviously which is when the woman really began to seem a bit frisky with the pisser but someone new walked into the shop so I began to talk about some of the art portfolios until the loudest screams I've ever heard erupted from the station behind me the potential client I was talking to states it's probably better if she comes back at a later date and leaves or while I hear the pisser telling this woman to calm down job is done and as I walk back past the piercing station this woman jumps up on the counter in front of the mirror and his thrusting her hips forward and starts rambling on about how bad as it looks later saw her led now a pisser into the small bathroom at the back of the shop not a pisser but in the early 2000s I dated a girl who got our nipples pierced not that uncomfortable but she showed her her mom and her mom asked if we'd drive her to the place because she wanted to get hers done and she did an old roommate did tattoos and piercings I get home from work walk into the kitchen and see this dude spread-eagle laying on the counter getting his dong pierced by my roommate before I say oh nothing my roommate says they wouldn't let us do it at the shop and the guy getting his dong pierced looks at me and says up grabbed the beer from the fridge and watched the magic happen my early years were freakin crazy I saw a waitress get her nipples pierced at a bar in Milwaukee years ago everyone was gathered around wincing I said to a girl next to me Jesus that's gotta hurt she immediately whipped the neck off her sweater down exposing her pierced boob and said now it's not too bad casually scrolling through wondering if the tattooist who did the eyes on my ass has commented so far I am safe you've been spotted by the curious cow comment below and let him know what you're doing if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check out another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 149,199

Rating: 4.8936462 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, worst tattoo, worst tattoos ever, horrible tattoos, tattoo fails, tattoo fails crying

Id: kgzp_N4DlVY

Length: 17min 4sec (1024 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 20 2019