Do All Men Think The Same? (feat. NFL Player Kyle Long) | Spectrum

I just always got all my skincare from my like the females in my life I have a great salt scrub for you check it over here on this episode of spectrum we wanted to explore the topic of masculinity in the last couple of years there's been intense scrutiny young masculinity in America we traveled to Chicago and partner with Gillette and Walgreens to bring together a group of men including NFL star first-round pick and former Chicago Bears football player Kyle long to demonstrate that men can open up and tackle questions on topics ranging from gender roles in society showing emotion beauty and even skin care our objective was to have an honest conversation about what it means to be a man today this is spectrum enjoy the episode well now I'm curious yeah I disagree with the professional NFL players because some of the most quote unquote manly men in my life are musicians actors people that I relied on as an image of masculinity so to say that the arts are less masculine than sports for me doesn't make sense my mom's the Chilean coach I think Chile is the sport argue with her I'll never let her know I think Shelly is this poor cuz I think it's fun to argue with it like there's a certain amount of masculinity like to do all those alright to do the back flips and like to push the girls up an air so I feel like there is more masculinity that's strive to just sports like then there is two more of the are success while somewhat agree if you put blood sweat and tears into something that's kind of what creates your character losing getting knocked down getting back up I mean learning those kind of principles at such a young age I think that's kind of where helps create a sense of strength that kind of helps carry you into a certain sense of masculinity and manhood as you get older so I'm an actor one of my recent roles was donkey in Shrek the musical there was blood there was god-awful sweat because a costume within the crying yeah there was crying talking about the physical aspect and I really agree that there's physical on art and in sports but then there's that mental aspect you talked about like failure getting back up like even before you got that donkey oh how many people had to get the audition for that role definitely the arts can be right up with their with sports sports R&R there you go one of the major things that has impacted me would be my father and how he viewed like film industry theatres because it was something that was able to connect to the human experience and it was more personal and more emotional locker room talk is part of being a man 3 2 1 go I'll start you know this phrase locker room talk has taken on a life of itself obviously in the past year it's been a hot button issue and it has changed since I was a six-year-old and I said my first swear word and when mom and dad said Kyle that's locker room talk I also think about locker room talk is like sexual in nature to someone is gonna say it to you someone's gonna initiate your locker room talk I mean I think growing up playing sports and all that I think it has found its own way with this new locker room talk as of 2016 and I think that's kind of switched to this weird sexual harassment I think by the nature of the question though I'm asking us this it is the people that are crossing that line that we're talking about is that part of it belittling women not even if you're belittling women but you're objectifying them you're being cruel but you're like come on I'm just joking around it's a locker room no man that's not what makes you a man that's not something that should be part of that I think men's main role in this situation is stepping forward setting boundaries and still having fun within the framework of those bow and respecting one another as a black man I looked at it is like barbershop talk yeah or so and I just feel like it's just being a safe space for men to be able to get those ideas out so like if it's something that's like you find extremely offensive and in the confines of that safe space you I can say it you could say hey this is why I think it's offensive and I could say oh I never thought about like that without having to take that out into the world realistically on the world I don't think men have the you know opportunity to express feelings and things like that like they can in the locker room like I'm sure you just locker rooms where you've cried or you were able to have other man's confront you say okay so it's okay to cry in the same guys you make funny or the same guys yes yeah I notice that safe space there are a lot of men out there that can operate rationally not everything is like about sex with us you know I'm saying so I'm a Christian my father's a pastor to me being a man is about you taking responsibility you know accountability my grandpa was a colonel in the Vietnam War fighting for the country of Laos and if anyone needed a tank they would talk to him anyone needed anything he was the head Logistics commander and then my dad he was like the head of a gang so he kind of demanded respect and became the head of everything and in turn both of them were heads of our household I feel like I have to be able to be the head of the household and have people rely on me when needed I just feel like when it comes time for deference most of the time women prefer to defer to men leadership and my dad was a primary breadwinner and then my dad got laid off automatically my mom became the breadwinner and they just switched those roles but like when it came time for decisions and stuff like that she still deferred to him most of the time and it's like we didn't miss a beat as a family and I feel like that's what she went out for like this with most men her most women went from their men it's better for the men to be in a position I don't feel like a woman can't be in that position yeah I'm gonna build on what you're talking about CJ because I feel like each one of us has a unique set of circumstances and in your case your dad was really smart in terms of his you know decision that's why your mom probably relied on him for that stuff and that's not to take anything away from her but I'm over here on the disagree because the question was should a man be the head of the household verbatim correct yep now my response to that is no there is no rules for who's the head of the household what I make it so I disagree with the comment I think men can be but it's 20/20 and if I were to tell you that I'm the head of my household I'd be lying to you I think there's a leader within each one of us I don't think it has to do with whether you're a man or a woman I know in my household there are times that my wife leads there's times I lead we talk about leading up leading down we even let our daughter lead sometimes my role is a man and a father in my daughter's life is to be the example and to be just supportive and accepting and loving and I want her to see by example that I'm always striving to be the best human being I can be that's really what my role is and she's the greatest joy in my life I have a salt scrub for you check it over here oh I just always got all my skincare opinion opinions from my like the females in my life I don't know I just didn't want to feel like I was letting less than one man so I didn't want to talk to other men as we all get older our skin starts to look like that bag that's been left aside too long and that's why skincare recently has become a thing for me I've talked about it a bunch with with guys that's how I find out about like beard oil mm-hmm wasn't my wife that said you need it it was my buddy with a beard that said hey beard oils awesome I I can think of a couple of friends did we talk about it pretty regularly one of the guys was concerned about skin cancer and if he wasn't talking to the guys about it like hey what do you do he might not have felt comfortable talking to a woman about it so we just cracked that open we just talk about this stuff what did you talk to the NFL player about you know just the skincare I'll be the first to do this I strongly agree I think it's important to take pride in yourself and have self-discipline I really I write it all falls under discipline for me I'd actually branch off that - because I view it as loving yourself it doesn't have to be you take four hours to be able to make yourself look good and presentable to be able to walk out the door it'll provide confidence for you to be able to do whatever you want in the world I feel like this is one of those conversations that happens during locker room talk so it may not be like I'm sure some of the people are gonna be surprised like all these guys talk about skincare but like those are the conversations that you have in those locker room talk situations yeah I think it's important you talk to you guys about skincare maybe we live in Chicago I mean I'm a serious white boy I think it's important that when you're dealing with elements it's cold it's frickin rough I mean we're in construction it's a lot of a lot of nasty stuff out there zone yeah I'm fourth generation bricklayers now that craft workers unions my dad my grandpa my great-grandpa we're all union representatives and it's everything my family stands for believes in and there's still fighting for I think for me being a man you know standing up for people standing up for what you believe in Sulc myself over here now guys never made it this is a high bar I am constantly still striving but my father has different standards than me and I'm proud of Who I am but there's a small part of me that's just like I wish I could hit that bar but it's also part of me that's like there are some parts of that bar that I'm not gonna touch expectations as we all know within the family can be very tough and I know you've alluded to this a few times today and I feel for you I really do like in my heart I just want to give you a huge hug because I have a dad who has honor it whether he knows he's putting them on me or not there's unrealistic expectations the name on the back of my Jersey we share the number I chose to wear was the same that he wore profession the same I will never be my dad because he was a world beater in his field but I also in the journey striving for his acceptance I found myself proud of Who I am and that is being a man yeah and being your own man and like I really I really hope we can find you if we have this conversation again I really hope that we can have you at least on the somewhat because I struggle with that too and it's a real thing I can't think of any time in my life when my dad has ever said he's been disappointed in me it's been nothing but encouragement he always he asked for my help on things now it's like he's always telling other people how his problem he's like yeah I read to your dad he was telling me everything about you so and I know I guess like a lot of people like don't even have their fathers in their life so like I appreciate it that much more I love that you guys all have that talking about what negative consequences we have as men for holding it in and for not being able to voice our emotions I think that I faith my dad passed away because he took his own life because he didn't he didn't express emotion it wasn't in his definition of being a man and so because of that he bottled everything up to the point where I didn't know what was going on and I was the closest individual to him and at that point is just mentally and physically mentally emotionally not stable and it destroys person no matter how manly of men destroy you from the inside one of the few things I remember before he passed he said to me I can't believe I'm such a tiger and I have a son and turns out to be kitten and they're just demoralizing words MIT by dad would say and those things just stick with me so I would never put myself across that line but I always work to get to someone to disagree so that uh I can feel that I got to as close as I can to his bar that's a shame man because you're standing here and you're saying your words and you're standing up to it you're a man doorman you should be over here yeah man I see it was yeah yeah don't know what that you could use my dad if you want I am the son of the oldest child and the only son of the oldest child so that kind of just makes a lineage that I had to follow and that person disappearing drops weight on my shoulders all eyes are on me now I take the center stage and that made me feel like I have to be a man I never really had the chance to be vocal about my dad I felt safe enough to talk about it and it was one of the first times that all these emotions that I've bottled up have finally come to light [Music] let's go come again I will challenge accepted I'm proud to be a man because of who we are right now evolving our thinking of becoming more sensitive to others my experience today was one in which I gained a lot of understanding and respect for specifically the men that were in here we talked about tough topics we were honest we weren't afraid to call each other out and I think respect was the overlying theme for me being a man is about knowing who I am treating others well and trying to follow those things every day being able to talk skincare is something that's important it's important to take pride in yourself I feel like a man knows who he is and is able to make others feel good about who they are

Channel: Jubilee

Views: 2,646,981

Rating: 4.8940296 out of 5

Keywords: jubilee, jubilee media, jubilee project, live deeper, blind devotion, love language, middle ground, spectrum, spectrum men part 2, do all men think the same, nfl player, kyle long, masculinity, are you masculine?, gillette, what is masculinity, what does it mean to be a man

Id: ccin6oZfTyI

Length: 14min 45sec (885 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 20 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/flyforasuburbanguy]

This video focuses on men from diverse backgrounds ranging from a Broadway actor to an NFL player who respond to general statements about masculinity then go to points on the floor to show their feelings towards the statements.

I'd be interested in hearing people's responses to the statements, which are:

• I believe sports are more masculine then the arts.
• Locker room talk is part of being a man.
• Men should be the head of the household.
• I have discussed skincare with other men.
• I meet my father's expectations for what it means to be a man.

[u/AugustusInBlood]

Skincare was such a cringe topic. The video was sponsored by a company that deals with skincare so it just came off as super forced and inauthentic and utterly sucked me out of caring about any of their opinions on the subject.

Compared to many issues it's really sad they pushed those aside to talk about skincare. Yes, men should be able to talk about skincare but in the grand scheme of things that was super trivial and felt very much like I was almost watching an ad.

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I didn't really see anything new being said that hasn't already been said or acknowledged before repeatedly. They didn't really add anything new to the subject of how men go through life. I'm not against anything that was said overall. I just don't feel like the video really contributed anything.

[u/Shoujoaddict]

About the locker room talk thing, I don't get why discussing crushes is bad? I mean, as long as the line isn't crossing into the objectifying path, discussing about the person you think you feel attracted to with other people is pretty common right? Regardless of gender?

Like, idk if this counts as a "girls locker room" thing, but there's a thing where women discuss about their crushes and various men they like, so men doing the same is okay right? Plus the way that society makes it as if you can't talk about your crush with a friend of the opposite gender is also a bit weird. Like if I have a close enough friend, I would ask them what they think about my crush regardless of gender.

[u/[deleted]]

This video was made by Gillette btw.