Demi Moore ACABA com o Bruce Willis | Roast no Comedy Central

[Applause] are you surprised are you surprised bruce willis yes yes i knew he would be i mean even though i went over everything yesterday i knew he'd forget [Laughter] so for those of you who don't know me i'm demi moore i was married to bruce willis for the first three die hard movies which makes sense because the last two sucked after all these years i have to say you know what you look good i mean you still look the same from the eyebrows up but we had some great times together i mean we shared a lot i had three beautiful amazing children fourth you count bruce and then there's the dogs and ashton so it's like six but you know i mean and of course you know like we did argue over the kids names and in the end bruce won that's how they got stuck with willis but i have to say our daughters are incredibly well adjusted considering two of them are half bruce willis but let me just say he is a great father i mean seriously i mean every christmas right after he would have the girls go make him his special coffee with medicine i mean he would come down the chimney in the wife feeder t-shirt waving that gun saying yipikaya and [ __ ] i mean that's what he's always called them and they just they just love his tag lines i mean but what you might not know bruce is super i mean really generous i mean what our daughter rumor was a baby and it was his turn to change the diaper in the middle of the night he'd lean over and whisper and say i'll give you a thousand dollars right now if you change that diaper of course i wouldn't do it because well the lawyer said don't worry we'll take care of it we'll get it in the end and scout scout asked me not to say anything but just last week he offered her a thousand dollars to change his diaper i mean you know some things never change they don't i mean we were married let's see almost 12 years and that's like 84 and bruce willis years but i was there for some special moments like groundbreaking i mean bruce um was he got his career breaking moment in pulp fiction yeah i mean it was it seemed really odd at the time i mean he's big action star like doing a little indie film but bruce went over to harvey weinstein's hotel and i don't know he came back swinging that ball gag and man he said i got the part i mean it's funny the things we do for a part like i know that i have dyed and cut and styled my hair i can't tell you how a million ways but not bruce i mean that's his real hair and ladies let me tell you the carpets match the drapes [Music] i mean i'm not saying he's bald down there i'm just saying whichever place you look it looks like a dick you know after our divorce he said um that he considered the end of our marriage his biggest failure but bruce don't be so hard on yourself you have had much bigger failures i mean planet hollywood hudson hawks striking distance come on campaigning for michael dukakis i mean turning down clooney's role in ocean's 11 to focus on playing the harmonica i mean i mean i could go on but they said it's a a two-hour show so but you know when i look back over all the years that we've had together we've certainly had our ups and downs but i have to say those were some of the best times of my life i just look at our marriage like the sixth sense you were dead the whole time all kidding aside truly all kidding aside i'm really honored to be here you uh are someone i truly care about you will always have a special place in my heart i'm so grateful that you're in my life in our children's lives and no matter what you will always be family you've been a great friend a great father and easily one of my top three husbands

Channel: Comedy Central Brasil

Views: 90,749

Keywords: Comedy Central, Comedy Central Brasil, Humor, Comédia, Comediante, Roast, Roast no Comedy Central, Demi Moore, Bruce Willis

Id: uFo6lWpDMCs

Length: 5min 8sec (308 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 20 2020