Deep Cuts: Hasan Tries His Hand at Matchmaking | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

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This guy grows on you, you want to like him.

👍︎︎ 8 👤︎︎ u/horusporcus 📅︎︎ Nov 16 2018 🗫︎ replies

I could see him becoming a household name for younger Americans.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Nov 15 2018 🗫︎ replies
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"What if your daughter ended up going to UC Santa Cruz?" And there's no name on this. It's just like, "What if?" The cosmic karma, fuck. But that's gonna happen. I just know it's gonna happen. She's gonna be like, "Dad, I'm a banana slug." I'll be like, "Why couldn't you be a stand-up comedian?" "Dear Hasan, I saw your AMA that you had several single male writers. How do I set up those intro meetings? Sincerely, Meg, 24, and gainfully employed." Well, that's a great question, Meg. Because right now... we have our single male writers. Meg? Let's just get it poppin'. Up first we have @MossPerricone. Moss, come on up. This is Moss. I don't know if you've been following the Instagram. We have a thing called his "Mosstache". You guys have been voting whether or not he should keep his mosstache or not. He got rid of it. Your guys' voices matter. Any other fun facts, Moss? I feel really bad right now, I'm sorry. Up next we have Ismael Loutfi. Ismael, come on up. Meg, Ismael has the mustache, so. Just depending on what you're into. There's a Ryan on the AMA? Wow. Fuck! It is dirty out in these streets. Damn. That was just the verbal swipe left on both. I gave you two options. You had two brown Nintendo Wii characters. Mustache or no mustache and you were like, "Let's go something a little bit more Ryan. Is the Ryan available?" Well, I think I have something... that fulfills the Caucasian quota of Ryan. We have Zach Rice, ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for @zach_r1ce. Zach, how, you're 25? Yeah, don't put this on me. Don't put this on me. I got no skin in the game, come on, bro. You saw the popped collars. I mean, no, man. I've been out of the game for a minute. He just moved to New York. Zach, come on. Ah, hilarious. You know what's really funny about this? Is, um... my first special was about... <i>Homecoming King</i> was about a white girl turning down a brown guy, and I found it to be very painful. And now that I've watched it happen to Ismael and Moss, I think it's hilarious. Prashanth, we should just make this the show. Yes, yes. People want that, Prashanth. How many times have I told you this? Being smart is dumb. We were up until like 3:00 o'clock in the morning writing this piece. You know I went to a very dark place when we were writing this? Seriously, when I'm like, "So if we just burn it all we're just all gonna die?" And then Prashanth, remember Prashanth? You just started going crazy. You're like, "Yeah, we deserve this." It was like we were staying up late studying for the MCAT, and then your one Indian friend is just like, "Hey man, we're never getting in. We're going to the Caribbean. It's not happening, okay?" He was like, "We deserve this. Oil, this, oil. Phones, oil. Sharpie, oil." And I'm like, "Stop man, you know I have kids." It's everywhere! All right, "I've been told by non-brown people that we are in the era of the "Brown Come Up." Do you agree? If so, what's in been like being at the forefront of that?" This is from Ampika Pie. I didn't know we had, that was the official title. It's called the "Brown Come Up?" Are you, yeah? That's the thing everyone is saying? It's called the "Brown Come Up?" I've been calling it the... "Melanin Takeover." I'm on a brown WhatsApp group called "The Brilluminati" which is pretty cool. It's like all brown Illuminati. "What's it like being at the forefront of that?" I'm like, I'm like the sixth most famous Indian American, so, but it's cool. There's a lot of really, really cool artists that are coming up, and it's really exciting. "What is in your Amazon cart right now?" Fuck, you actually know that I still use Amazon, god damn it. I went to Amazon, you know what's crazy? I went to Amazon Books this weekend. It's so fucked up. I went to the bookstore. We were in Columbus Circle and I was like, I saw it in the window, and I'm like, "You know what I like." And I bought an Amazon book. Which used to be a Barnes & Noble. And then when I was at the register, I was like, um... The episode hadn't come out yet. The Amazon episode. And I was like, "Hey, is it hard working here?" Like, I was trying to get dirt, you know? Do they make you pee in a bottle? The lady was like... I think they thought, she thought, like, I was buying a book to just be like, "Hey. What time do you get off?'' I was like, "No, no, it's for research." And I'm like, "That doesn't work either." Because the episode hadn't come out yet. But yeah, she was like, "This used to be a Barnes & Nobles." And I'm like, "Is it worse now?" And she's like, "They're all corporations. They're all the fucking worst." I'm like, "All right, duly noted. Can I put in my Prime number?" She's like, "Yeah, you get a discount."
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Channel: Netflix Is A Joke
Views: 1,273,873
Rating: 4.9616885 out of 5
Keywords: Netflix, Netflix Series, Streaming, Television, Television Online, Comedy, Featured, Comedian, Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, Hasan Minhaj Comedy, Hasan Minhaj Stand up, Hasan Minhaj, Global News, Politics, Culture, News, Late Night, Late Night Comedy, Late Night Talk, Patriot Act, Amazon, UC Santa Cruz, Dating, Tinder
Id: oIqlB1rkZHY
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 7min 2sec (422 seconds)
Published: Wed Nov 14 2018
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