DEAD RISING 2: THE MOVIE

Whoa, okay. What game is this? Well, it says in the thumbnail, but yeah, it's Dead Rising 2, baby. Oh, okay. Okay. Don't you think I know that? Oh, his name's Chuck. Chuck Green. Oh, I can't read, you know that. Don't forget to include your next akin. Uh, I don't have any. I mean, her name is Katie. It's my daughter. But she spells it weird. You wouldn't know that from me just saying it though. But the people at home know it. And he winks at the camera. Right. Dude, nice headphones. Where'd you get those? He's like, wait for me. Whoa, we got zombies. We got zombies. Oh, so like the zombies have just been like around for a long time. Yes. A lot of dudes lose their wives. Oh, what a loser. Yeah. That is funny, but I can't laugh. I'm incapable of it. When did that happen? Yeah. Whoa, nice butt, dude. Yeah. It says Zombrex on it. Oh, man, we're gonna fight the zombies and this time we're not gonna let them meet you, maybe. The zombies are like, whoa. So it's like a sports arena, right? And you like... Yeah, we're in Nevada right now. Um, and it's like... The zombies have been around for a while. There's this thing called Zombrex, which is like the medicinal cure for the zombification. Terror is reality. Yeah. You like that? Man, they're really, uh... They just shoot fire at us. It's the new show! We kill a bunch of zombies! Oh, can you dig it? Shit! Oh, shit. Yeah. Do I get to play this part? You know it. Oh, fuck. Here we go. Yeah! Oh, man, they start you right off with the good stuff. Yeah, seriously. Dude, Leon, that big swinging dicked green asshole is fucking winning. Yeah, that's the guy that was making fun of me and my wife. Yeah, he's talking shit on your girl. Kill him. He was trying to clown your girl, yo. He's trying to clown my girl. Whoa, yeah, aim for the, aim for the explodey ones. Oh, man, I just passed him and then he passed me back. Yeah, don't worry about the score. What? You just worry about blowing up those pink jams. I'm worried about the score because that's what makes me win. I know, but like looking at it will destroy- never mind. Oh, yeah, that's a big one. A big luster. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, what the fuck? You fuck, dude. Dude, I was in first for like a second. Fucking green ass fucking Leon over there. You're the number one loser. Thanks, man. Do you always lose? Are you just guaranteed to lose? I don't know, you could have won. Oh, really? I guess so. I think you always lose. Okay. So I was doing really well, and then you fucking- Important stuff. What's going on in my head? Punch. What? Oh, there's like a fucking radicalist group. Yeah, trying to shut it down. Radicalist a word. Sure. We will not stand. We all enjoy sitting on comfortable chairs. Yeah. I lost my family in Willamette. I'd rather just have them back. Like, I don't care. It kind of looks like he's gonna eat his head. That's like your catchphrase for when someone says something stupid. Dead rising 2, motherfuckers. Yeah, we're doing it. Why are they all so mean to him? I don't know. That's not a natural walk either. She might be exaggerating that. Yeah. Whatever, I don't even care. Good night, ladies. This whole intro sequence that tells me a little bit more about my story is really not really hurting me right now. You can quickly access four boobs by pressing back. What could possibly be behind this door? The rhythm. The rhythm's got me. And it's gonna get you. Yeah. It's gonna get you. The rhythm is gonna get you. Oh, dang it. Hold on, I'm coming. I can still save him. Oh, that was nice of him. Thanks, zombie. Hey. You killed that zombie for me. Yeah. Well, that was just a dude. Can we not show that dude eating someone while, say, eating food or regain health? It's just gross. Find Katie. Yay! And hit things with a bat. Boom! Oh, Sean. Home run. No. Boom! Guys, quit dying. Alice is dead. Man, they throw you right into it. Oh, sweet. Donut. Hell, yeah. Sick, yeah. Give me some of that donut action. Yeah. No, it's my donut! Sorry, man, I need it. I need it, bro. Hungry, hungry. I need those delicious sprinkles in my mouth. I'm hungry, hungry like a hippo. They melt so well. Just wait till I get over there. All right, I'm gonna get the fuck out of here and find my daughter. Yo, have you seen my daughter? You? No? You? Has anyone seen my daughter? No? All right. Well, I don't have a bat anymore, so... Oh, no! Music is dead! Uh-oh. Oh, she's getting eaten. I hope her stash is still in there. Oh, thank god. I hate that guy. She must be somewhere else. You're grounded, young lady. What the hell, a coat hanger? Come on. I've taught you better than this. Thanks for bringing that up. You need to stay calm, okay? We need to get out of here. So hang on tight. You got it, Pappy. Can you shoot my reference? And stop yelling at me. It's like you used Katie as a weapon. Let's get the fuck out of here, Katie. Oh, Erwin. Erwin, he looks like he could put up a good fight. Yeah, I like Erwin. He's my friend. See ya. Good luck. Erwin is dead. I'm sure he'll be fine on his own. Oh, not Jeremiah. Oh, he was the coolest Amish dude. Jeez, man. This got out of hand fast. All right, here we go. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I don't know where that is. Perhaps the choppa. Oh, man. An emergency. Could you turn that siren down? It's hard to concentrate. I keep thinking it's like screaming zombies or something. We're gonna have to take our chances in the emergency shelter. Wow, what a brave man. Katie, I see you're rocking those beats by Dre. Yeah, probably shouldn't be standing so close to the wall that has zombies on the other side of it. Hello. You were expecting a zombie and not me. Ted zombie. Unfortunately named, I know. Yeah, if he introduces himself like James Bond, he's in real trouble. What's your name? Zombie. What? Ted zombie. Oh, she got bit. Yeah. I've got some bricks. Yeah, well, you better have a lot because there ain't done here and the rescue ain't coming for three days. Oh shit. Three days. Yeah. Wait, does it just prevent it for a little bit? Yes, exactly. You have to continue taking it. That sucks. That guy looks like Frank. This guy knows a lot of shit. That's the standard procedure for a zombie outbreak. Um, shut up. Do you see a box of Zombrex? Yeah, you'll go down to that. You'll always be daddy's little undead monster. How long have you been? Yeah, long enough. I won't say anything. Oh, she's one of the protesters. She's a main girl in the Royal flesh mall. I'm Stacy Forsythe by the way. Cool ass name. I also don't care. I'm Chuck. Chuck lunch. Chuck. If you find anyone alive out there, kill them. I'll do what I can to kill them. Are we talking about the same thing? Dude, you thought I heard a sweet PSP. Can I see that? Yeah, it's got great features. Don't worry. She'll be dead soon. Just wait your turn. But she turns into a zombie. Hopefully she'll be to level three by then. I bet I can beat a bunch of zombies to death for sure. Saving survivors will give you lots of pee pee. This looks safe. Smells like a dead rat in here. Yeah. There's a dead rat. Guys, there's a dead rat in there. I don't think I should go in. Somebody can take care of this. Yeah. Why is he smiling? This should be the worst day of his life. Well, second worst right after his dead wife died. Found an air vent to jerk off in a special little place. Now I finally have some Chuck time. And then you're like... It's Chuck o'clock! It's like act going through the whole fucking door. He just busts out of every door. Just coming from every vent in the whole place. Oh, Chuck time! Well, you're timed right now. You got to find Katie some Zombrex. Yeah. Whatever. Oh, yay! What's up? Oh, I want to use the mannequin mail. Sure. This is not... It's not as good. It just knocks him down. It's raining, man! Hallelujah! It's raining, man! Hey, man! Oh, shit. Whoa, okay. That was not helpful. Ah, Jesus. Oh, boy. Be careful. Yo, does any of you have Zombrex? Any of you? Anybody? You need to find some fucking orange juice. Oh, I've got a donut. Don't worry, dude. Okay. Dude, your daughter's like straight up dying, so you might want to get a move on. Okay. I'll admit, I do sound like that. Hell, yeah. Oh, this is what you should be doing right now. Woohoo! I did it! Hey, all right! Oh, so close. It's the game within a game. So close. Oh, these guys look friendly. They're stealing all the drags. Dang it. We're out of drags. Yo, you find any more drugs over here? No, I didn't find any drugs. Damn it. Why do we have to immediately run into assholes? Oh, great. Hey, guys. What's up? Uh, sweet hoodies. Hey! I know you're holding out on us. Where's the money? Where's the safe? Where is it? Don't lie to me. We don't have a safe. Don't. Oh, I can't tell if you're lying to me or not. Lady, go. Why don't you mind your own business, old man? Oh, exactly. Nobody calls me old man. For some Zombrex. Well, you're definitely going to need some painkillers when I'm done with you. Zombrex? Technically, Zombrex isn't a painkiller. Oh, yeah? What say you give me some money, and I'll go get some for you? Yeah, give us some money, grandpa. Yeah, my daughter is very young. I'll have you know. Are you guys triplets, or? Yeah. Wow, are you related? I really see the resemblance. The deciders just get really lazy. He's like, wave to the man. He's like, hi! Oh, yeah. Oh, you got fucked. Oh, too bad I fucked you guys up. Oh, that's a shame. Oh, man, you guys got really fucked up there. Wow, dude, looter defeated. Oh, man, looks like I fucked you guys up. Oh, too bad. Damn, son. You fucked them right up. You okay, man? Yeah, you see what I did to them? That'll happen to you if you don't give me some Zombrex. Nice. Zombrex! Zombrex is a drug that stops the infected from becoming zombies. It's high demand, expensive, and hard to find. Keep living your life with Zombrex. Zombrex overdoses are deadly. Users must never take it early. Oh, that's important. Whoa, okay. So don't just fucking give her that shit. The Zombrex counter in your HUD shows how much you have at all times. Can you use Zombrex every day between 7 and 8 a.m.? Oh, my God. If she doesn't get it, she will die! Knit cap, yay! My new cap! I love that cap! Let me see a closer one. One piece pajama. Oh, yeah, I love this. Oh, hit him with the stuffed animal. Stuffed donkey. Fuck you. How do you like this, man? Yeah, eat shit. It's my fucking stuffed donkey, you piece of garbage. Yeah. No, he touched my donkey! Ooh, that's really fast. Damn, it's pretty good. I'm trying to go to bed! Dad said go to bed by eight! It's eight thirty! You're keeping me up! Hey, how fun. I like to take the escalator because it's easy on my knees. Nice. God, that's so fucking anarchy. That's a real good way to get yourself killed, son. Don't worry about me. I'm super awesome. I know my way around a zombie or two. I killed my wife. You used to fuck zombies. I've got a butt flap so I can make poopies real fast. Would you like to see? I feel a show coming on right now. I'm glad you found some zombrex, Chuck. I really don't care. Yeah. But it's not time to give it to Katie yet. Right? Daily dose. I'll give it to you then. Oh, she'll do it? No, that was Chuck saying that. Oh, okay. God, hurry up. Oh, so boring! God! Katie, you're killing me! Just hurry up and not have zombrex in you anymore! You and your fucking slow moving disease. It's that time for my zombrex, Dad, right? Stop reminding me! I know, sweetie. I'll be back soon. How about now? Stop running! Oh, God! So boring! Check the time real fast. Hey, what time is it? Oh! God! Holy shit. It's 6 59. Do you think you're fucking dumb asking it? Okay, cool. Have some zombrex. She's like... Don't eat it! Well, gotta go get some more zombrex. That's your video game. Hang on, you won't feel a thing. You just squirt it into our eyes. It's like a really big needle. You're just like... Oh, it is a needle. Yeah. Thanks for bringing it up. See, that wasn't so bad, Dad. Yeah, because I shat it into your backpack. You'll be dead within the hour. Oh, nope. She's dead now. Yeah. Oh, shit. I love her. I think she's so hot. What do you think? You're pretty when you're scared. Are you too? Are you the one who terrorized it? Oh, it's me. Check it out. It's me. Oh, wait, that's not me. Dick move. Dick move, everybody. Boy, it kind of makes me feel like they should have more than one shitty gate. Sorry. I'm so mad. Man, I am angry. And she's like, I mean... Treat this later. Did you have something to do with this? No way. No. Do I look like somebody who would terrorize people? Like squeaks when he walks. The reason why I have to do something like that. Why are they saying you're part of cure? I went to one meeting once. After I lost my wife. In the mall. There was a big mall. And then I was like, oh, there she is. I just went to cure and I asked them like, have you seen my wife? I totally believe you for no reason. I'm thinking about something else already. Are you hungry? You sure don't seem like a terrorist. Thanks. We're going to need a lot of hot dogs. I'll get the hot dogs. You just stay here. And eat the hot dogs. Look, I don't know if I can trust you, but if you're going to keep bringing people back, I got something to help you out. Promise I won't get in your way. What is it? It's supposed to be a key. All the maintenance rooms around Forge of City. Don't know. Might be something useful in them. Uh, did you give it to me? Yeah, I guess he did. Yay. It's huge. Now you can combine weapons. Just going to walk inside. Oh yeah, this is awesome. Yes. Fucking MacGyvers over there. I totally. I do want to repaint this place. Combo card acquired. Nice. Spike that. Wait, do I have to have plans for it? I guess so. How would you know to put nails in a bat if you didn't have an explicit card telling you? Wow, look at that. X2PP earned. X2PP sounds like the shittiest Star Wars robot. X2PP. X2PP, you're always leaking. Yeah. Just hammering spikes. Why did that need duct tape? No reason. I did it. It's just a pile of duct tape. Oh, awesome. Yay. Whoa. 50 PP. Yeah, it increases your PP when you use it. Excuse me. Oh yeah. That's silly. My daughter and I barely got out of there alive. I need to know where you got that tape from and who your source is. Reporters don't reveal their sources. They'll never tell. It was Dave. Fucking Dave. My ass. That wasn't me on the tape. I'm being set up. I don't know, I look like you. You don't have to. You can't trust a poofball hat like this? Help me out and I'll give you an interview. Let's get going. Try to keep up. Yeah, do I look like somebody who's not willing to keep up? With my yellow running shoes and my jammies. There's a bathroom in here if you need to take a rest. You can say shit. I'm an adult. I'm an adult. You can say I'm making bears. You can say poopy poo. Yeah. Making bears. Hold on, Rebecca, I have to make bears. What the fuck is that? I've never in my life heard that. Oh boy. Making bears. Beers. Feeling better? Let's get going. I wasn't, I didn't have to poo. Yeah, I didn't have to make. I just saved. Yeah, god. I didn't make any bears. Zero bears were made. Go and check. She's like, go and check. You won't believe me. She's like, you totally could have flushed them. And I'm like, no, making bears. I didn't make bears. And like, fucking thousands of zombies are crowding around you while you're arguing. Oh, there's a gate here. What are we going to do? If only we had that bomb I used to blow up the gate in the footage. I mean. Hmm. Damn it. I love Pac-Man. There's nothing here that we can use. Everything's been destroyed. You don't know that. I totally know that. Check, Chuck. Why are you filming this dead man's face? He's not going to smile. Are you like weird or something? There might not be anything here to clear your name, but it definitely proves someone's covering up what really happened. You believe me now? I just said no. Your daughter, she's like, really wants a tomato. Like she wants it bad. I'm on my way. Don't give her a tomato. Forsythe. The leader of cure? I guess. I guess. I'm just saying words. So where am I going now? Case one, four Alliance. I guess I'll just go there. Yeah. You're just, you're just going back to the place. With your beautiful little daughter, Katie. Oh, she's cute. She's adorable. She's cute. Until she turns into a hideous undead monster creature. Then you got to hit her with the lead pipe. Until she turns into a teenager that looks like my wife. Then I got to just stare in the face. Then you got to hit her with the shampoo. She hit her with the shampoo. No tears. Baby soft, healthy grin. You got to get that special formula. Just cry while you're doing shampoo. But you put that to the test. You get that shampoo right in her eyes. I always feel like a bionic man. Exclusively wash her eyes. Oh yeah. Pour it directly into her eyes. I want to see little tops of ice cream cones on the top of her eyes. And Making tiny little pieces of tape to hold each nail. And then putting them all in a row. So you can just grab them off the wood. Ted, chill out. Look, my gut's telling me more things. Like I'm hungry. Which I'm not wearing. I don't care whether you believe me or not. I've got three days till the military gets here to prove that I'm innocent. I'd rather just shoot you in the face. Don't say I'm looking for a fair shot to the guy with the gun. Hey, you're that TV lady. I didn't know you were hanging out. How did you get in there TV? It's so small. He pulls up a chair and sits down. Please, I'm fascinated. You've got a lot of explaining to do. I'll even eat the coffee creamer and the ketchup. Yeah, I'll stuff her right into that tiny TV box. He comes in, he's like, I was just watching TV and you were on that too. What are you, a witch? How'd you do it? Explain yourself. This is crazy. Oh man, you guys better, uh, you know, like talk it out here or something. Let me bring this mud in here. Guilty of being sexy. You have the right to remain hot. I have a couple of questions for you. Where were you on the night of tomorrow? You want to hang out with me? Ain't going nowhere without my Doris. Eh, fuck you. Let's go. Oh, he's going to follow me now. Yeah. Uh oh, there's Hard Rock. Be sure to bring Creed with you. Hard Rock's happening. Not Chad Krueger. Hey, I got to get over here. So you guys better, um, boom. Oh my God, dude. Get away from Chad, dude. Oh shit. I need to, um, drink some whisk. That is how I drink it too. Yeah. Not with nothing in there. Hey Chad. Oh, the anarchists? Bang. Oh, that sucks. Looter. That's what I meant. Well, I guess they're technically anarchist. Yeah, sure. Oh, there's another one. What? Oh, they're everywhere. Oh, they're, they're a gang. Oh, that's cool. Oh jeez. Hey, stay away from me, please. Chad, no. I avenge you, Chad. Oh, my friend Chad. He was my best friend. My best friend. My best friend. Give me the crowbar. Fucking Spider-Man 3. Yeah. Yeah. Jeez, Chad's hurting. Ooh, ow, ooh, ow, ow, ooh. That's gotta get a better weapon. Oh, sorry, Chad. Sorry, Chad. I'm sorry. I hit you with an axe. Hey, Chad. He's like, ooh, I'm going to get you. I'm going to drill you right in the face. Chad, we're here at safety. Just like bash him with the pipe. If you can't find any Zombrex, the pawn shop will have some. Oh. The Fora Prize. That's a good tip. Presumably not 15 grand. Yes. I'm pretty good on money right now. Saving survivors will give you lots of pee-pee. Um, did I do it? Yeah, you did it. That's his like, hooray. Spudvo. I know, I literally just saw it. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Just a little? And the Spudvos are really bassy. Even if she's a zombie. Yeah. Like putting her out of her misery. I'm going to take her to the zombie theme park. It looks like two Bigfoots. What do you think? I think it's pronounced big feet. You're embarrassing yourself. Those really are shitty headphones. It's none of my business, but do you think McDonald's stocks are going up or down? It's none of my business. Oh, hey Doris. Oh, it's Doris. Hey girl. Man, you looking fine up there. Oh, I guess we didn't save Doris. We just lied to him. Oh, sure. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Watch the backside, all right? Watch the backside. Watch the Hawaiian shirt. This is new. This is new. This is new. I got cranberry sauce on it. That's okay. It'll come out with lots of bleach and downy detergent. Downy. She's the one who's lost, right? Yeah, that's just, well, yeah, that's the man wizard is trying to get him. Man wizard? What's his name? Crush? Chad. Chad Krueger. Where did wizard come in? He was a cowboy. On a steel horse he was- I don't know. What's the big deal? Why you gotta ask all these questions all the time? That's a big old pile of zombies. Good. It's my pile and I'll do what I want with it. My pile. Oh, does it just distract them? I think it just makes pretty lights. That's so fucking- Woo! Merry Christmas to all! It's all a good night! That's so this game. I fucking love it. Hey, hey, hey. Dang it. Come on! Ah, damn it! Oh, jeez, be careful. Ugh, this sucks. Yo, get off her. Get off her, Clay Aiken. Just- Ah, shit, I ate another hot dog. Ah, get off me, you fucking- Reuben Studdard? Dude, the fucking gun is not what you want right now. Yeah, it's- Okay. Suck a ween, bro. I'll rake you to death. All right, let's- I'm raking in the coals, baby. Come on. Oh, Doris, stop getting assaulted all the time. Jeez. You're like my eggs in the morning. Always getting assaulted. Come on, run. Let's go, Doris. You're fucking dead, dude. No, I'm not. Stop! If you use that gun as your weapon, you are dead. No! I promise you. Ah! There it is. Oh, shit. Yes, yes! Oh, God, I need to get something. Is that a first aid kit? No, it's a purse. It's a purse. God fucking damn it. Oh, Jesus. I can't- I gotta get some health or save or something. Oh, a fish. Hold on. Oh, God damn. Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it. Oh, fucking damn it. Fuck, Doris. Yeah, sorry, Doris. Sorry, D-Money. Damn it, it's nothing but purses and shit in here. Snacks, snacks. Oh, is that a snack? Yeah, it's dangerous, though. Got it! Eat it, eat it! Doris is coming back, baby, yeah! Doris, come on! Doris, we're going! Hurry up! Holy shit. Oh, shit, am I gonna have to fight these fuckers? I don't know. Wait, are these part of George Stanton's team? This looks very plot heavy. It's Wesker, dude. I knew we'd meet again for the first time. Now that I'm indoors, I'm gonna put my sunglasses on. I can't see shit. Oopsie poopsies. Did you hear that one pole drop and the other get caught by a soft hand? And now another one dropped. I'm just a bird. Tweet. Oh, man. This isn't good. But all I have is a crowbar. What? But I can still shoot bullets through that. TK, we were friends! Nobody likes each other now that the zombies are around. Zombies bring out the true colors in people. That's the real world. Oh, God! God in heaven! Why? I still have Doris with me! This isn't good at all. Why did it lead me down this path if I am to die? Oh, boy. Stop it! Oh, got him. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Yeah, just charge him. Oh, there's more, there's more. Oh, God, oh, God, assault rifle. Stop it! Eat some snacks! Brownie! Brownie break! Oh, yes! This will heal my bullet wounds. Just fine. Hot dog! Let's go! Go! Bullets will go through that, Chuck. See ya. Oh, I hate all these items that keep spawning in. Oh, geez. Suzumu? My favorite brand of motor saw. Doris. Stab him. Joust. Stab him. Yes! Oh, nice. Thanks for the ride. Oh, this game is the best. Does he always have to say a one-liner? Yes! It's like commando. Yeah. Don't wake my friend, he's dead tired. Hop on, Doris. Yeah, I don't think Doris is gonna keep up on this one. Yeah, I don't know about all this. Look out! Driving on a bike. That's not a ramp. My name is Randy. Not a ramp, not a ramp. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god. It's gonna squish me, it's gonna squish me. Ow! Where? To the right. Shit! I missed it. Oh, here we go. Okay. I'll just decapitate myself on the roof. Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Yeah! Ow! It hurts. This is exciting. I'm trying, I'm trying. Driving faster on the bike. Oh, that was the perfect ramp, dude. I missed the ramp. Shit, I ran into something. Ugh, gotta catch up. Oh boy. Just like the tomato factory, I gotta catch up. Sorry, Doris. Shouldn't have been running in front of my bike. You should know better. Was that Doris? Yeah. She went- Is she running like the fucking T-1000 right now? Woo! Fuck all y'all bitches! Oh, great job. Gotcha! Gotti! Be ready, because I'm sure you're gonna have to fight all kinds of crazy shit now. I'm gonna fight crazy shit. This could totally happen. But wait! You just see Doris running like the Terminator. And they all shoot him in the face. Yeah. Doris is getting fucked up, dude. Is she really? Yeah, look at her. Oh, it's because you're leaving her. It's because you're leaving her behind. I don't mean to. What are you gonna do, man? Yeah, I mean, it's like the game's fucking telling me to do this. You got the plot to deal with. Or maybe just kill this shit real fast. I mean, she's getting attacked. Really? Yeah, she's like surrounded by zambos. Mm, that's an issue. Yeah, yeah. Eat dicks. Eat- ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Let me try again. Yeah- ow! Yeah, Merc Assault Rifle! Oh! No! Hold on, hold on, guys. No, Arin, don't fuck around! I ran out of bullets! Oh, boy. I'm sorry! Ow! Oh, boy. I'll eat the jelly beans. This isn't good. All right, I think Doris is officially fucked. Okay, he's- just die already! God! Shoot, aim lower. How many fucking bullets? Aim lower, because it drifts up. There you go. Yes! Oh my god, thank you. Doris! Doris is dead, dude. Forget about her. Forget about her. Okay. She's nothing to me anymore. Okay. She's a ghost of Figment. She's a Fig-Newton of my imagination. Mmm, fruit and cake. Okay. I don't even like figs, but I sure like Fig-Newtons. Yay! Mazel tov, Doris! Thank god it's not on my mind anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. You know how that is? Scissor tool! Chuck has an eager smile in it. Oh, don't slow clap. I have two fucking assault rifles. What are you up to, TK? Just enjoying the land of opportunity, Chuckie. I don't know what you're talking about. That's great alliteration, man. Oh, that has nothing to do with the camera. Wow, it's like the Matrix. Yeah. Oh, I love that he holds it. And there's no recoil at all. Yeah. He's a little bang, bang, bang. Shooting peas. Dang it. Got away. Doris was here. Yeah. I lost him and Doris. Fucking Kate. God damn it. Fucking bane of my- Do you have any Zombrex? Oh, the silent treatment. My daughter's dying! Oh, sweet. Love keys. I'm gonna put this in my key collection. I wonder if this will open the diary to my heart. Oh, man. It's so nice to just be wandering around this mall unencumbered by Doris. See, would I be able to do that with Doris behind me? Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm having so much fun. Bop! Oh, my God. Sweet, dude. Hey, what about this guy? I'm gonna name this guy Frank. You like that, Frank? I like naming them before I kill them. Suck it. Hey, Stacy. Ooh, sorry. Uh-oh, there's Carl. Carl? Watch. I will place the bucket and I will place the drill and I will create something beautiful. Can we bring in Stained here to drop a couple of power cords? Thank you. It's been a while since I drilled a bucket. What the fuck is that? This is butt rock central right here. What is it? I only had one power drill. What the hell happened? I don't know, but that's great. All right, well, good. You put it on their heads and then just drill the fuck out of them? Watch this. Who is it gonna be? How about you, Carl? Oh my god. Well, that sucks, don't it? That's a lot of pee-pee. How about you? Yikes. Dude, you are getting tons of sweet pee-pee. Yeah, sweet pee. Sweet pee. No, but Siri- Tim Dugan! No! Who will win one little duck bingo? Hey, pal, you need a hand there? Everything okay? If that's Tim Dugan, I got bad news. I knew it. I just felt so bad. I'm a paramedic. I should have been able- You should have tried as hard as you could. Yeah, you should step away from him, dude. What? He's gonna be a zombie in a sec. Yeah, whatever. Get all you could, but back at the safe house, your help is- I feel like he's a cold leader. Real live people? But back at the safe house, where we, like, summon different demons and shit, that's- Oh, dude, you punched my guy! Yeah, new skill move. Sweet, dude. Nice. Okay, so this guy- Ooh, jump kick. Oh, that's the best move! Yes! Use it on Sven! No, he doesn't want- he doesn't want my super item. Okay. Nice! Nice! Sick, dude. All right, so I think when I bring this guy back to the safe house, he's gonna be able to give me zombrex. Uh, amazing. Oh! Oh, this is a paramedic. This is a paramedic. Yes. Best move. Best move. Uh-oh, urgent. Sorry, I have to take this. Yes, I know Katie needs fucking zombrex. I'm getting a guy who has zombrex. Possibly. Well, it says he may know. Yeah, it's definitely in the pawn shop, but I mean- I don't know where the pawn shop is! If only there were maps readily available at any moment. Dan, you're really getting my goat right now. I'm gonna tell you right now, you're really getting on my nerve. I cannot handle- And I've only got one. If you can't find any zombrex, the pawn shop will have some for a price. Oh man, what a great idea, game. Thanks for that tip. You can quickly access the map where the pawn shop can be found by pressing the back button. Geez, thanks, game. Boy, I can't wait to hear how this game is bullshit because it didn't give you a chance to fucking save Katie. Sorry, I was checking my phone. Yeah. All right, let's go, Sven. Oh my god. Look, it said Sven was gonna have some fucking zombrex, and I trust Sven! Did it say that? Yes! When? It said it on his little mission dialogue. It was like, this guy might know where zombrex is. Oh, cool. That's why I fucking went after him. And I feel pretty good about it. So I am committing to this bit because it's funny and will probably lead to dramatic irony. She's gonna need multiple zombrex shots. What? Yeah. What are you talking about? She's got a chronic zombie condition. Yeah, but she only needs one for now. What am I gonna do, stock up on zombrex? Get off me, you freaking zambo! If only I had some zombrex. Get away from Sven! Yeah, he's got to maybe get my daughter zombrex, possibly. Yeah, there is a chance. I've heard. Sven promised me in his dialogue. He said it to me directly. He said, I have zombrex. I remember him saying that. I mean, not in so many words. He said exactly those words. He definitely said the words I and have, and then I said zombrex. It with a question mark after it. In fact, I don't even remember him saying have. It's fine. In my heart of hearts, I know. Yeah, that's what's important. Look, we're almost there. We're almost there. And it's not even halfway done with the fine Katie Zombrex shit. Yeah. Also, who spells Katie like that? Nobody. Nobody spells Katie like that. Yeah, that's Kateh, if anything. It's like chicken Kateh. Those things out there are making me work too damn hard. Don't ask me to do anything. I have some zombrex here. Take it. Sweet. Boom. See? Didn't need to go to the pond. Didn't need to waste my fucking money getting zombrex. I could bring it to Katie. You need to waste. You consider getting fucking life saving medicine for your daughter a waste of your money? Yeah. If I can get it for free coupons. This is fun. Yeah. I can't lie. I'm enjoying it. And I like how their heads are gone. Look at all the blood, dude. Yeah, it's so much. So much blood. Say, hey, that's pretty cool. Can I try? Let me just waltz over here. My turn. Yay! Aw, get off me, dude. Embarrassing. What the fuck? Why don't you? Surprise. I'm sorry. Some brains? That pooped my pants. Dude, lady's hat. Hell yeah. Let's see what else we got. He's like, it looks so good. Your hat's like, blah. Yes, queen. Nodding up cut offs. Oh, hell yeah. Yes. Yes, queen. Yes. Oh my God. It was TK. He's the one who framed us. Thanks for asking me about him. You look great. Where'd you come from? He admitted it to my face. My beautiful busty face. What? I don't know. It's quite a pair of titties. I mean, conundrum. Don't be ridiculous, Chuck. Oh. My source was an owner of a show. That was TK. My source. This is a regular Scooby-Doo mystery. I'll ask TK. I don't trust you. Yeah. Hold on. Sick burn. Nice. I can't believe neither of you complimented me on my top. I'm a little peeved to be honest. Oh boy. I got him. You are going to have some fun with that power drill. Gotti. I don't want the LCD monitor. Put it down. I want the Merc assault rifle. You want the power drill. Okay. You're throwing chips. You're throwing chips randomly. Power drill. Take that. They're trying to drill into the vault. Take that. Why is it working, Dan? I don't know, Arin. Why don't you stop the power drill? Hold on. I'm trying. Oh my God. This place is gonna be overrun with zombies. Maybe if I throw the chips at where it's drilling, it'll work. Oh shit. I ran out. What am I going to do now? Cash out. Cash me outside? No, cash me outside. That's what the cashiers are called. Wow. It sure has a lot of health. Yeah. Just the super zombie. Yeah. This can't try the sledgehammer. Uh, there's a battery. That's cool. Oh, there you go. That's much better. Yeah. It's just, it's the first swing that does all the goodness. Done. Yeah. TK's goons are still robbing the city. Stop them all. All of them. Yeah. I mean, who get it? This place is about to be fucking firebombed by the government. Oh, this guy feels boss like. Hey man. Sarah. Are you an upside down lampshade? You okay? Sweet. I don't think this guy's okay. Seems like you're fine. Okay. Seems like you're in good hands here. Good creepy bloody hands. I'm a soldier for the cause, man. Sir, sir. One zombie. Yeah. Well, you're talking like someone who was about to have a bat with spikes up the side. Oh man. How am I ever going to defend against a dude with a shard of glass? Fucking hippie with a piece of glass. Oh, sorry. Brandon. I'm sorry. I doubted you. Oh my God. Wow. He just kicked your ass. Wow. Brandon. I am out of here. Okay. Well, good luck, Vicky. Listen, I'm just looking for a save point. Nope. Oh my God. How am I supposed to fucking avoid that, man? I don't know. Oh wait. Maybe eat a burger real fast. Oh yeah. Chew that. Oops. Oh, I forgot. That doesn't stop it. Stop the burger burger. Don't mind me, Vicky. I'm just gonna eat these ribs. You're in good hands, Al. Yeah, sure. Oh my God. Hanging out with making out with the zombie friends while he's in there. And then he just comes out. Well, no cure is the one who's trying to save the zombies, right? Oh, is it? Yeah. Like, or like save the people who turned into zombies. So like until there can be a cure found. Oh jeepers. Yo. Burger time. I'm gonna tear you. Eat a burger. Yes. Yes. Yes. Queen. Yeah. Take this back to your deep banana blackout concert. Yo. Investigate 311. Amber is the color of your energy. Well. Oh, that's right. Eaten by a zombie. Oh, that's awkward of all things. He's just a fucking zombie. Just kill him. Dang it. Dang it. Maybe this was a bad idea in retrospect. Now I am the one who's arms. Oh, that was a pretty quick decision. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Does it hurt to turn into a zombie? I don't know. I'll ask. See how hard that was? Sweet. Hey, Vicki. Hey. Air horn. Yeah. That looks awesome. Yes, please. I like that he's only covering one ear. Yeah. I don't care about the other one. Follow me if you want to be fabulous. Hold on. I got to piss. Let's go. Use the power of your Vicki fists. Vicki powers, activate. Hey, Vicki, you okay back there? I wanted to give you a weapon, but you wouldn't take it. Oh, be careful. There's still mercenaries around here. Oh, really? Yeah, they're in the casino. Hear the hard rock? Oh, does that mean there's mercenaries? Yeah. You okay, Vicki? You want to play some sugar daddy? I'm dying. Oh, Vicki, honey. Yeah, this is bad. This is officially bad. It's okay. You have eaten and you have a burger. Take it. Why did you give it to her? Because she needed it. She did not need it. She was dying. She had like 98% of her health. Oh, good for you. Yeah. And how was it? You're going to die. You need to get going. I'm trying to fucking protect her. It's you by bashing her with a fucking. Well, I don't know. Okay. All right. I'm just trying to do what I can. You want to play? No. You want to be the fucking Mr. Man that's got to do all this shit? Because it's hard. You want to be a backseat murderer? You want to do that? You want to call your mom? Tell your accomplice to a murderer? You want to do that? Because I'm trying to keep it a secret from everybody. I'm trying to take all the brunt. Just get over here, Vicki. God, it's like, what's your problem? Like, what is going on with you? It's like there's something distracting happening in the mall right now. I don't even know. Like, what is going on with you? Scusi, Scusi. Jeez. Is there a button you need to press to continually get her to follow you? No, no, she follows. She's right there. She's just getting attacked by zombies. She's right there under that pile of zombies. Right, right, right. But, you know, it's like, what are you going to do? They're everywhere. Jump kick. Oh, right. I can do that. Oh, good. Just jump into it. Somehow missed every zombie. Get off of her. Oh, she's going to die. No, she's not. She's fine. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Vicki, get out of the way of my bullets. Vicki, stop absorbing my bullets. Thank you. Okay, she got out. She's fine. Run, run, run. Let's go. Vicki, Vicki, let's go. Jeez. You're like the fucking asshole boyfriend at a party. We're leaving. Oh, the bench. The bench will help knock them down. All right, I'll get the fucking bench. Yeah, it's a fancy bench. Mr. Wise, man. I dropped the bench. Did I say freaky bench? Fancy bench. It's a fancy bench. Get out of here, man. Come on. Get the fuck out. Sorry, Vicki. Oh my God. I'm sorry, Vicki. Wow, you fucking smashed her with that bench. She's not following me. She's getting eaten by zombies and shit. God damn it, Vicki. She defected. What does that mean? She means she said, fuck you. She said, I'm not following you anymore. She's going to die now. She's following. She's following. She's back. She's back. We're back. Everything's good. Let's go encounter any zombies. I can give her some of these ribs. No, stop fighting. You take my ribs. She's fighting. You're going to die, Vicki. But Vicki, you're going to die. No, she doesn't want your ribs, bro. Just go to the maintenance. I'm going, but there's no reason for me to go now because she's following you. Well, what is she going to do? Like crawl inside. I don't know, Arin. I don't even know if I'm going the right way. Yeah, that seems apparent. I went the wrong way. It's right there. It's right there. It's right there. It's right there. Vicki, follow me, please, please, sweetheart. I don't care that you're upset at me, all right? I want you to be healthy and happy and you're dead. You're a dead woman. It's right there. Get in, get in. Come with me, Vicki. Vicki, come with me. Vicki, please. Oh, no. Oh, Vicki. That is the saddest. Tell you what. Yeah. How about next time we get, uh, I almost said victim, uh, a hostage. You might as well, we might as well say victim. Just push every button one time and see if Chuck yells, follow me. But they're already doing for me, but they're already following. Yes, but not to the degree you need them to. Well, I'm just dodging and weaving through zombies. Like, of course, they're going to get attacked. If I was taking care of the zombies and they wouldn't be so prone to getting attacked, Arin, I'll try it. Push every button. I will, but you're wrong. Okay. I think, okay. I just want to establish that I believe you're wrong. Yeah, they're in here. The mercenaries are in here. Dan, you're right about everything. You're right about fucking everything. There's a lot there. More than you can fight with a handgun. Whatever. I'll shoot them. You just said I'm right. For Vicki. You threw the ribs at them. For Vicki. Why'd you throw the ribs? Because they're delicious and maybe it'll distract them a little bit. Ooh. Yes, please. Yes. I look fucking fabulous. God damn. If you saw this warrior princess coming up to you. Fucking run and hide. Don't use the training sword. Well, whatever. It's good. All right. Well, I'm training. Yeah. Ow. Fuck. Okay. Maybe this isn't a good idea. I know. God damn it. Yes. Oh, I did it. There might be more in here. Yeah, there are. Should I go with the poker chips? Yeah, I think that's a great idea. Oh, bad place to stand. How does he not die? I don't know. Wait for him to come to you, dude. Shit. What the fuck? Sick tactics, Arin. Well, it's not like this game has like duck and cover abilities and shit. I'm just saying wait on the other side of the wall. Then when he comes, blast him. One at a time. I'm not that patient. I know. Yeah. Thank you. That's all you needed to say. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. The good music is back. Yay. I wonder if they're winning over there. Yeah. 7 7 7. Jackpot. What the fuck? Jackpot. What the fuck? A little lower. Jackpot? There we go. Jackpot? Jackpot. Jackpot. A winner. Wild West Real House. Hell yeah, Barbecue Chicken. Yes, please. That's going to be fucking- Who's got time to learn the guitar when delicious chicken is about? Tiki Torch. This is awesome. This is fucking great. You got barbecue ribs over here. This is like a place I'd like to take Jennifer if she was alive. This is Vicky. That's right. That's what I meant. How could you forget? I'm sorry. It's been a while. It was my birthday. I'm sorry, which is ironic. Look, I ate it. That tastes like chicken? Oh, yeah. We just grabbed some chicken. Already. Yeah, this guy's fine. He's going to do the kiss the fingertips thing. Was he in New York or is he Italian or what? I've created my ultimate dish. Is it people? It's people. And then you come out and you're like, Oh my God, people is made out of people. But I'm not the reviewer, so you haven't been waiting for me. Oh, that's- How dare you! I'm Antoine! I am the king of cuisine! Don't you know who I am? I'm about to be dead in two minutes. I'm Chef Boyardee! Oh, man. This is exactly what I knew I'd be doing when I woke up in the morning. Fighting a chef with a pickaxe. Yeah. Where's he going? I don't know. I love his creepy- It's frozen! This person is rotten! This is- Oh, damn. Oh, might want to eat something, but not the brisket. Why not the brisket? It looks great. Oh, tiki torch? Yeah. Oh, he's eating too! Oh, shit. That's bad. He's got full health again. Yo, cleave. Cleave this, bro. Ow. Now he's gonna run. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, gross. This is the cleaver show. Kill him. No, stop! He eats it so fast. Ow. Damn, this guy's hard. The fuck am I supposed to do, man? Eat those pizzas. There's a whole stack of pizzas. There's a stack of pizzas? On the shelf. Really? To the left. Oh, my god. Oh, god. Oh, my god, Arin. I'm dead. Whoa! Yeah, you're dead. See, behind- Oh, it's food! Left, behind him. You have died. It's okay, man. I don't know if it's okay. It is okay. It was a long time before you saved. No, I just saved a second ago. Did you? Right? No, you didn't- I didn't save after I killed all the mercenaries. Nope. Nope. You just were like, I'll do Tastes Like Chicken. That's exactly what I want to do. And you can't tell me differently. And I was like, okay. You know what you're doing. Oh, damn. I messed up. I know, Arin. It was- Ah, god! Sir, sir, sir. Okay, so this was the problem. Yes, this is- This was actually the problem. Let me just go ahead and- There you go. Oh, oh, hey. Eat shit. It's my sign. Oh. Let me go ahead and close that door. Oh, shit. Oh, god. Go ahead and close that door. Ah, shit. Shit. Hold on, I gotta eat this pizza. Yeah, can you let me eat my pizza, please? God, god, god. Stop. All right. Yeah, okay. That's what I wanted. Oh, god. This is such a dumb- Oh, there's three guys. Oh, no. Yeah, you better start swinging the potty plant. No, I didn't mean to drink the beer. Oh, that's a problem. Oh, shit. Oh, god. Oh, they blew up the potty plant. This is a disaster. Stop. Oh, come on, man. You better get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this is good. Yeah. This will probably do well. Yeah. Yeah. Don't go in the room. You know, they come out. I'm trying, but I'm trying to get the- Ah, fuck it. Okay. I love this game so, so much. Stop shooting at me. Ah. Yeah, you tried to take on six guys while unarmed, and they all have machine guns. I can do it, okay? Oh, there's a super soaker. I have my own gun, all right? Yeah. Oh, excuse me, miss. Oh, my god. Would you like to get moist, my friends? Arin, are you really- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my god. You got him. Yeah, I got him. Oh, oh. All right, hold on, hold on. You might die, actually. If I close this. There we go. There we go. That's what I wanted. Okay. Isolate them. Ah, you fucking asshole. You fucking dickhole. Ow. Stop just trying to get a stone statue, for fuck's sake. So I could beat you with it. Oh, boy. I thought I'm gonna get shot by that fucker. Stop stopping. Stop eating. Well, that solved that. Oh, god. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is bad. This is bad. This is bad. Dead, son. Oh, there's beer around somewhere. I would just die and start over. No, no, no, no, no. You've accomplished nothing, other than to eat all your food and get shot a thousand times. I only had two pieces of food, so it wasn't that big a deal. You had three beers and a pizza. Look, I want to survive. This is a game of survival, and I feel like I'm against all odds right now. It's exciting. It's pretty exciting. Uh, uh, there should be beer here, right? Would you like to cash in? Oh, wait. No, this is the... Stop. Yay. Yes, thank fucking lord. Okay. Good luck with all this. There might be another one in this room. There he is. He found you, too. Yes. Yes. Okay, awesome. Boy, that is this fucking game. Yeah. Uh, let's get rid of the super soaker. Yeah, let's do that. No, dangle with that square sign, for fuck's sake. I want another mercenary gun. Dang, a super soaker. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, if I press and hold, that's... Oh, there you go. Boom. Okay, that did not... Okay, that did not... Shit. Okay, there's more. Um, shit. Uh, okay, all right, all right. Yeah, just go. Pick up some rifles and go. Oh, boy, there they are. Oh, they're so hard to kill, too. Short control bursts. Oh, oh, boy. Oh, fuck you. This is not going well. Yeah, I don't know if we're gonna... Yeah, this isn't gonna work out. Where are they going? Where are they going, exactly? Oh, it's this armored van. Oh. I don't care. Oh, shit, I'm gonna die. Turn around. I'm gonna die. Get around to the other side. I'm gonna die. I died. Yeah. He's out of control. It's not fair. Okay, there you go. Yay. Yay. Oh. Stop throwing nades, dude. At least they don't do much damage. Yeah, they're mostly for show. Like, like real grenades. Boy, Gavolt. This one's not wearing a jacket. Good. How does anyone play console? He's gonna get cold. This is so tough to aim. Sir? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, ooh, ooh. That's Bob. He's terrible at fucking aiming, but great at tucking and rolling. Is there a bee around here? Are these propane tanks gonna explode? No, hop over the side. Go around the van. Oh, no, no. You are beating the van. Yeah, this is straight up Street Fighter, dude. Damage has been met. Sir, sir, sir. Excuse me, sir. Oh, my God. And that guy. Come on. Please die. Yeah. Oh, God. It's not over yet. What? Okay. Thank God. Whoo. Okay, boys. Um, cool. It's got HDR. Sleeping, man. I think I'll buy it. Everyone's so tired. And that car is fired. Give me keys. You've got a real knack for showing up at the right time, don't you? Yeah, these muscles are so nice. Until now. Have you covered wars? That was a reference. Oh, yeah. Good Lord, the Xbox cannot handle this game. Don't I have a trustworthy face and body? I sure do. Man looks great in cutoffs. I thought a professional journalist never gave up a source. Case check. I'll meet you at 11 o'clock in the bar. What are we going on a date? There's zombies everywhere. What are we going on a date? It's a date. I mean, the bartenders aren't alive. She never gets bothered by zombies. I'll meet you at the bar. Yeah, we'll just grab some drinks. Cool. Um, can I get more beer nuts, please? He just clumsily, like, drops a bunch of beer nuts on the table. In the bowl. Hey, sweet chaps. You look great for this exact scene. You were dressed for the occasion. Damn, looks like I was dressed for the occasion. God, you must have so much zombie blood stuck in your chest. I'll take two. Yeah, you could have gave it to me in a glass and handed it to me slowly. Oh, you're gonna have to fight a hot girl? Whoa, she got a fucking claymore or something. Who is she? I don't remember. She's cute. She's Capcom cute. She's got that Capcom face. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. These two girls. That's right. Wait, who were the two girls? Oh, goodness me. You met them just as the zombie outbreak was happening. They were kind of years ago. Yeah, they were kind of bitchy to you. Wow, this is the first time this girl's ever looked concerned. Know much about what? Sorry, I wasn't making time. Yeah, I was. Yeah, there's a lot to concentrate on right now. Can I have your swords? Some people look ridiculous. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I wonder how you got that. Does that mean you're going to kill me? Yeah, the codpiece is like, Sorry, as you're like jingling from your headpiece. That wasn't me. Oh, Rebecca has a life meter. That's not good. Amber, too cold to hold. We're called the Ghostbusters and we're in control. Is this the best weapon for this? This is great. I don't know. I don't know if this. Get out of here. I don't know. Ow, ow, chickapoo. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Stop. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Good thing I saved. Yeah. I don't know. That was thanks to you. Thanks, bud. God, this is fucking so much work. Yeah, don't make me do things. Usually I like brute force them. Yeah, no, no, no. Okay, okay. Oh, boy. Oh, okay. Fine. Just leave me alone. It's cool. That's cool. Yeah. Talk later, please. Oh, my gosh. Let me get that bird. Dude, come on. That was too hell. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And run. Getting crunk, getting dizzy, getting dirty. Oh, boy. Oh, now you got to fight him close. Yeah, but it's fine. I was. Is it fine? I had to get close anyway for the shotguns. Ow, ow. I have to wait for them to attack and then. Drink beer. I'll drink a cocktail. Okay. Oh, that's nice. That does more for me. Get it. Jesus. Oh, boy. Drink, drink again. Just keep drinking. Just keep your life full. Because it's so much. Yeah, but I might get drunk. Oh, I didn't even think of that. It's so much fun, Jan. Get it. Fuck. Jesus. This is not what we wanted. Time for glugging. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Hi, Rebecca. Stay away, Amber. Thank you. Oh, good. Do your little. Oh, God damn it. Oh, crystal. Crystal. Clear as day. Well, you're already sick, so you might as well just down everything. Yeah. Does that make me more sick, though? You're already going to stop the barf. Ugh. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Oh, I'm barfing. It's cool. Uncool. I drop my shit when I barf. Oh, that's not good at all. Might as well just keep drinking hard, dude. And just keep the life up. Yeah. I don't know if that's... Ooh, vodka. A little wood-ca. Oh, God damn it. Oh, my God. Yeah, because they're going to kill you otherwise. I mean, they'll kill me one way or another. Yeah, better to be drunk than dead. It looks bloody over here. I always say. Whipped cream. Oh, that's nice. Eat that instead. Delightful. Oh, sweet. Hello, ladies. Oh, this isn't good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At least I got that vodka. Drink! No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, damn it. Oh, fuck. All right. God, this is hard. This is a super hard boss battle. Come here. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yo, yo, yo, let me get up for fuck's sake. Stop it. Stop. Let me get up. Oh, cool. She just stepped on your crotch and left. Cool. That's very nice. Yeah, well, we've all been there. Very nice of her. Okay. Uh, oh, God, oh, God. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Why do you have the whiskey? I don't know. I tried to switch to this. Okay. Fucking criminy. Criminy cripples. Jiminy crickets. Jiminy crickets. Jiminy crackheads. Run. Stop. Stop. Is there any way to avoid that, man? Doesn't seem like it. It's just like, it's just a pattern of like getting hit and hitting them and healing. That's getting them and healing. We got to do. Oh, I'm trying to figure out like a way that I can like avoid them. Use the sledgehammer if you're going to get hit. Anyway, it does more damage. It doesn't. But you miss sometimes with the shotgun is what I mean. That's fine. Oh, my Jesus Christ. All right. Fucking flash dance. Nice power slide. Stop. Stop. This is so hard. Oh, my God. It fucking cornered me. That's not fair. Shooter, shooter, shooter. Oh, oh, but then she fights back. Oh, yes, she does. I might die. I might die. Oh, hi. I might die. Stop puking you. You puking Sanderson. Oh, boy. We are out of time. I don't want this. I want this in my life. I want that cocktail. Stop it. Stop. It's so fucking fruity. Yeah, Arin. You just got to go after him and try to kill him if you can. Well, again, easier said than done. Of course. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Crystal. Yeah, I get it. Crystal. Crystal, you're a sweetie. I'm dead. I'm dead. Thanks for that great advice, Dan. First time I listen to you. It was over either way. Doesn't even work. It was over either way. I don't know, man. If I avoided her and then hit her again, she would have died. And maybe, I don't know, fucking, I don't know. Dead Rising 2, how to kill Amber and Crystal. First, you want some painkillers. Beer plus beer out of blender. Oh, then you want a strong weapon. I've heard it's best to focus on the one in silver. Okay, well, that's not the one that I'm going for. Oh, fuck it. I got her down to half already and I didn't take a hit that time. Oh, okay. You silly goose. Thanks for making me look like an asshole. Cock-a-tail, cock-a-tail, cock-a-tail. Oh, here comes Crystal. Amber, why? Why? Why? You're my special one. You sneaky. Shoot her. Sneaky girl. That's perfect. That's perfect. So where are these mythical drinks that don't get me drunk? Would you please? Would you please? Oh, pick it up. Pick up the pole weapon. Pick up the pole weapon. Pick up. I'm trying. It's not showing up. Beat her with the stand. Oh, yeah. Oh, that works. Yes, of course I have. That's not important right now. God, fucking dual combo bullshit. They're so good. They're so good. They're so fucking josu with this. Blood? Ah, that's great. Corner myself. That's cool. Get away, Amber. Oh, we're having good work. Doing good. Don't fucking point your butt at me. Yeah, she said, look, you're getting limp. It's like my penis. That's right. Oh, my God. I didn't get that. Oh, shit. Oh, that's unfortunate. Bad time for a barf break. It's always a bad time for a barf break. That's true. Oh, that's good. Head her off with the pass. Get her. If her fucking girlfriend Crystal doesn't. Oh, really? Okay, good. They're running away. Give me a shot. Time for barf. Oh, yeah. Cocktail drink right there. No, I don't want. God damn it. Give me, give me, give me, give me. No, Amber, Amber. No, no, no, no. You fucking. I will stab you, actually. Because he picked up the whipped cream. So fucking. That's the secret, man. You just got to. It wasn't doing anything, though. Yeah, but it's a war of attrition, man. Like, I get my distance. I find her and then I start shooting at her. And then it's just. Wow. Because she'll attack, right? When she's like, just grab my distance. Oh, yay. You murdered a girl. Sweet, dude. Well, congratulations. You were trying to murder me. It's self-defense. Well, let's enjoy this because you've earned it. It's also a video game, so it doesn't matter. Yeah. Where'd she get that? Where's that fucking knife come from? Yeah, right. I killed your friend. I killed your friend. That's what I did. She was my other half. Guess I'll have to kill you, too, then. With your death. I just bought some Zombrex. Chuck, we promise you that. All of us. Yeah, that one does not constitute all. Because I killed the other ones. Yeah. I don't know if you remember that. Is she going to seppuku? Oh, no. Killing yourself by stabbing is pretty, like, deliberate. That's pretty brutal. Yeah. Because that's not going to kill you right away. Aw, they were in love. Ow, ow, ow. Yeah, shit. Ah, this is more painful than I would have thought. That's, uh, I don't, I should go. Yeah, I don't feel bad. I'm going to go hook up with a living girl. Did you not just watch what just happened? For fuck's sake, lady! You are not at all psychologically scarred by what we've just been through. Why would anyone want to get out of this city? I don't understand. You're not making any sense right now. I'll be there. What time? Where? Wait, I forgot everything. Oh, thank god. Okay. I'm gonna shove. Nobody's gonna... Bow. Oh, there they are. Are you the mascot that's lying in a pool of blood? I can't tell. Talk to me. Oh, no, it's a boss fight. Oh, it's Slappy. This'll be fun. Do you want to take the head off, maybe? Yeah. Don't I look like someone you can trust? Yeah. Wipe that fucking smile off your face. Don't believe everything you see on TV, kid. Especially you. This guy is great. Look, are you okay? Do you need something? Am I okay? Do I need something? Is everyone going crazy? Yeah, well, not everyone can handle a zombie apocalypse as well as you. You took the best thing in the world away from me. Okay. My girl. It does seem like you two were kind of made for each other. Yeah, really. Little big head situation. You don't think you would have doomed your kids to a horrible life, though? This is a little sad. How many other giant-headed kids are there out there? That must have been painful to do voice acting for. Some people like yelling. Really? Yeah, it was good. I'll never get a date now! Oh, shit. Cool. No, you're not going to get a date, but not for the reason you think. It's because you'll be dead. Yeah. Gonna kill your ass. Fuck you, Slappy! Oh, man. Oh, oh, oh. I got these sweet- Oh, this might not work. I should probably heal. Where is he? Slappy, I swear to God, as soon as I drink this vodka, I am gonna murder you. I'm gonna die. I need some health. I need some health. I need some health. I'm gonna go in here. Oh, sick. This paddle will help. Ooh, snacks! Just... Just... Damn it, not the- Slappy! You slap-happy guy. He's ridiculous. He's a barrel of laughs. Well, let's see what happens. I don't know about that. Oh, you fucking guy. I mean, how many swings did you- Oh, dear. I don't take fall. Oh, I do take fall damage. Uh, uh, excuse me, could you spare some change? You could cut off my legs. That's cool, too. Wow, they're fucking aggro as fuck, dude. They're like ready to get on me. Well, he is, because it's nighttime. The nighttime's the right time for death. Right, they got the fucking- Uh-oh, I missed Slappy. Yeah, it's okay. I couldn't beat him anyway. I could certainly live with that. Yeah, I could put down the sword. It's about to die, anyway. How do I do that? I forgot how to do that. Down. There we go. It's amazing that that sword didn't die when they were slashing you with it, because... God knows. Yeah, right? That's unfair. I don't think that's fair at all. They slashed you, like, thousands of times with that shit. Oh, god, I don't remember this view. Oh, yeah, dude. Every time you get a shot of his nice butt. Yeah, but I mean, it's different in that- Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, I did it. Yeah. Yeah, meh, meh, meh, meh. So what, meh? No big deal, meh. Uh... Ooh, employees only. I like the sound of that. Yeah, let's check it out. Me to nance. That's where I just was. Okay. The maintenance room behind the stage in the slot ranch casino has a set of gems and a flashlight. Perfect. Great. That's where I am right now. Great. Behind the stage. Yeah. Oh, I'm getting an urgent call. Oh. It's getting close. Yeah, Katie needs that. Oh, shit. Okay, that's fine. Okay, my daughter can wait. I'm making a laser sword. Yeah, I'll keep it in mind. Flashlight and gems. Look, they're right fucking here. So cool. Awesome. All right, we can make a laser sword whenever we want. Oh, dude, that's great. Oh my god, I can't wait to make this thing. What a perfect opportunity. This is not what I could have expected. Yes. Wow, dude. Wow, a scratch card. Okay, you get the card. Whoa, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh. Whoa, it changes colors. Yay. Yeah! Holy fuck. It's great. Okay, that's gonna work out just fine. Laser sword action satisfaction or my money back. And I don't want it back. No, you don't need it back. I would recommend saving your progress. Oh my god, I love this game so much. Oh, Zombrex. What? Are you kidding me? Whoa, awesome. That's gonna make our lives a lot easier. How do I get up there? Fuck. Uh. What the hell? That's awesome. That's super awesome. Well, we know it's there now. I mean, we'll be back here to make laser swords. Well, I gotta fucking get it. Like, why would I leave it here? But how do I do it? Maybe you don't have the ability yet. Maybe you need a high jump. There's no high jump. Can you climb onto the railing and then jump? Instead of like just leaping over it like a fucking goon? Thanks, Dan. The fucking mature. Yes, yes, yes, yes, queen. Oh my god. Oh my god, I got Zombrex. Oh, fantastic. How fucking valuable is that shit? I mean, at least twenty thousand dollars. God damn, dude. You need some health. I know I do. Okay. I appreciate your concern with my health situation, but there ain't no ambulance around. Ain't no whambulance. Wow, somebody called the Whambulance. Oh, nice. You got more peepee for doing that. I don't know why that one got me. I don't know. I don't know either. This game is just so funny in so many little ways that it eventually just creeps up on you and you start giggling. Would you? On my back, please? You're gonna die. I'm not gonna die. Okay. Fucking have a little faith. I have none. I apologize. I'm doing my best here. Oh, and that's a different issue. Of course you're doing your best. And I have no belief. Yeah, I'm not blaming. I'm not coming down on you. Yes, you are. That's the definition of coming down on me. No, I'm coming down on your ability. But not the man. I separate the art from the artist. Oh, okay. Was there another flashlight? Yes, there was. Oh my god. Dude, we're loading up on lasers. I love it. Too bad we're gonna die in a second. No, it's not true. It's not true. Don't take it. Don't take it. No, don't go there. Don't go there with this. Oh, oh, my maintenance room. I didn't know that was a thing. They could come in here. Okay, well. Does that just delete them? Oh my god. What are you doing? Well, wait. Pretty cool what you got there. That's fucking funny. Get ready to start swinging because they could kill you. Neato. Hell yeah. Oh god. Oh, nice. Got him. Yeah, I'm doing it. Yeah, fucking. Can I just give her two and just be like, just take this at eight? I got shit to do. Sorry. My daughter. That was a ketchup packet. She looks just like me. Yes, this is the zombification process. Don't worry. Oh no, Katie. Uh, if only I had a new bicycle from Toys R Us. That she like opens up one of her eyes to like, look like. She's not turning or breathing. Oh god. That was a crotch shot. Yeah, I know. No crotch shots. For once, it's that damn drug. Speed. Oh, yeah. She has to have to deal with Zombrex too. It sucks about your sister. Anyway. Yeah, she's dead. Don't worry. Oh, yeah. We have not saved anyone. Oh, people? Whatever, man. They're fucking hard to save. To communicate with. Well, they just. I guess you just like give them a weapon or whatever and. Yeah, and you can definitely call them. Like, there is a button. Yeah, miss that one. Hello? Sick. Ooh, golf cart. Hell, yeah. Yep. What the fuck? Oh, it's a mail cart. I don't think it was. I think that's new. Oh, it's a fucking cut scene. Uh oh. Uh oh. I think we just accidentally walked into a boss. Okay. Looks like there's going to be a new interesting. Oh boy. Yeah, maybe you can receive my laser sword. It's Zombrex. Hell yeah. Oh. Sign for it, dude. Oh boy. Even Chuck's like, this character's a stretch. Sign it, Zombrex. Makes you feel better. Thank you. Oh, we signed Frank or whatever his name is. Oh, Chuck. I mean, he's got a legible signature. Oh, jeez. And you couldn't sign that like chip nicely. Yeah. It's like his name has been an issue for quite some time. You might have to throw that shit. Well, I'm not in control right now. Like as soon as it comes back. I mean, it's ticking. Nevermind. Yay. Oh man, we're going to drive that. Oh, come on. I know. I thought that was going to be our reward for killing this guy. I know. But I guess if we get Zombrex, that's even better. A perfect service. Perfect attendance. All ruined because of you. Whatever, Fu Manchu. Let's just fucking fight already. Yeah, it's fucking over textured face. Oh boy. A shoddy? Dude, it's a hottie with a shoddy. Shoddy with a body. How much? Can I cash on delivery? Yeah. Maybe a check? No CODs? All right. I can just PayPal it to you. Oh shit. Oh, Carl. Of course. It's mail time. Oh, I love it. That's his catchphrase. Good. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. Come here, buddy. Oh, he's throwing bombs at me. Yeah, he sure is. Is there food? Is it dark? I think there's a bar. No, it's a cafe. Oh, fuck. Yeah, there's food here. Oh my fucking god, dude. There's a tray. There's Creamer! Hell yeah. Creamer! Cream, cream, cream. That is the most pointless thing to beatbox over I've ever heard. Yeah, well, it gives you full health. It does it? Yeah, it's like really good. Okay, then that I... Then you understand the beatboxing situation. Actually, I... Cream to cream to cream. Cream to cream to cream. I'm full of coffee creamer, bitch. I have to. Oh, damn. I want to drink. Got the confidence of a cream, cream, cream, creamer. Oh, sweet. A tourist boat hat. I'm gonna put on the boat hat. It's my action helmet. Oh, creamer. Oh, god. Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Cream to cream to cream. Don't let him shoot you. Drinking the cream. Oh, god. Bomb. Oh, shit. Well, all right. Did he throw that or did it just like fall out? I didn't see like a throwing animation. Okay, I still wasn't paying attention. Run and get some food. Oh, god. Oh, god. Run, run. Son of a bitch. No, not in there. I know, but maybe... No, terrible move. Drinking coffee or something. Cream to cream to cream. Gotta find some coffee cream. Oh, back to the dark cafe. Back to back to basic. Eat the cake. Yes. Delicious cake. Please stop beatboxing. Oh, more cake. Gotta get my calories. Oh, and a coffee. Yes. Coffee for the road. Coffee for the road, baby. Row, row, row, row. God damn it, you just took two damage. I'll drink the coffee and I'll drink the creamer. Brownies. This is awesome. God, we gotta remember this place. Gotta take the brownie. All right, cool. Arin, please stop. Please stop. Don't get cocky. Slay him. I'm trying, man. Shut up. Yeah. Shut up. Yeah, gotcha, bitch. Gotcha in the ass with my laser sword. Yo, I'm like Star Wars up on this beach, Luke Skywalker. And you are like Darth Vader, except you're not my father. Congratulations, Arin. You killed a mailman. I need this for my daughter. She's going to be alive, unlike you. Oh, my God. It's so campy. Got a sign for it. This one's a special delivery express. He's going to explode. Yay. How did he have so many? Wish you could have that shotgun instead. Yeah, right. Maybe you do. Well, after he explodes, of course. Oh, well, all right. You got Zombrex. Tweet. And the shotgun out of here. Excuse me. Yeah, boy. I'm begging you. I just got all charged up from being a mailman. I know you killed a boss and it was good. Whoa. Pizza. What the cut scene? I wonder if anybody's sniping me right now. What's up here? Well, time for them to shoot Chuck Green, I guess. Yep. This ain't nearly as fun as Border Patrol. Oh, God. Should have kept that laser sword. Is that Willie Nelson? Yeah, once he stopped smoking weed, he became significantly more violent. Oh, damn. That's a lot of them. Just to let you know. Hey, you know what? I don't know if there's a correlation between zombies and socialism. Oh, boy. It's Duck Dynasty all over here. Like, for example, my pubes. What the fuck are these guys talking about? They just want to kill people. I like American. American. I don't know what y'all are talking about. I'm just drinking beer here. Yeah. This isn't a Confederate flag on my shoulder. I just like the letter X. Ornately decorated. And red, blue, and white. Because I love America. Because I like France. My big French fan, I'll tell you that. Love me some French fries. France kiss him. Okay. Like those measuring tape overalls. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. How did they not notice that? Oh, boy. Well, there's gonna be some shootiness happening. Oh, my God. Your pee-pee's gonna be ridiculous. My pee-pee is epic! Look at me, I'm Jyslane. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Where? I am a Star Wars. Watch out, Jedi Council. Here I come. I'm a Star War. I'm all Star Wars all the time. What? Where'd those rednecks go? Get that Jean-Luc Picard out of my face. Look at me on the light side now. Oh, oh. We definitely should have been doing this from the beginning. What, leveling up the pee-pee? Yeah. It's fine. Yeah. We've got it now. We've got it now. The way I play is the way I want to play, Dan. This is how, this is my choice. Let's not go down this road again. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking to you. I'm not talking to the fans. Fans are beautiful people. They helped us learn about the laser sword. That is true. They fucking watch the show every day. I do have to say, like, those suggestions about the laser sword, that really jump-started this playthrough. Hell yes. We've gotten way farther than we would have. Hell yes. Hell yes. I'm talking to you, Dan. I'm talking to you, always telling me what to do. Fucking lead me down to save points, and then I die, and then I didn't go to the save point, and now things are bad, and... It's pretty good. Hey, girl, what's going on? Oh, is that the bad guy? Is it the sniper guy? Oh, it might be. Crazy redneck? Well, there are four of them. What do you want? Oh, yep, it might be. Yeah, oh, dude, you're almost dead. What? Oh, Jesus, what the fuck happened? He shot you while you were looking at your watch. But I didn't, okay. Oh, boy. Uh-oh, Spaghettios, Deadmans. That's not good. Oh, guys. Those poor bags. That's how you know it's the future of video games. Oh, yeah. His jaw sort of, like, moves to the left and right, too. I'm a big man in town. Not no more. Everybody else is dead. I'm the big man now. I'm a big man now. Oh, don't hit me with your thing. I got you. Seymour. Seymour butts. Oh, my God, good one. Yeah. Careful, he got a gun. I got a gun, too. That's pretty decent damage on him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. You think you're so fucking good because you have a nightstick? Well, I have a fucking light stick. Oh, yeah, he's done. Just brute force him. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a well-placed buzzsaw. Oh, I love it. What? Is he just going to kill himself? You know, he's just going to fall. He didn't mean to turn it on. Yay. Hilarious. Oh, my God, I love this game. Oh, okay. Down your underwear. Yeah, yeah. I'm fucking strong. Let's fucking do this. Just watch out for my penis. Oh, the snipers. Oh, yeah. Wow, they really shot you. Yeah, whatever. Whoa, holy shit, they did. Yeah. Um, okay. Dude, you could take him out with your lightsaber. I wouldn't drink coffee creamer out in the open, Arin. You gotta hide. They're shooting at me. They shot me. Zombies. I can't believe the predicament I'm in. Oh, man. Wait a second. You want to go try to kill him? Zombies? No, I'm doing the art thing. Oh, gosh. Fuck the snipers. But if you- They're at a huge advantage. Yeah, but- Yeah, but what, Dan? You'll get incredible pee-pee. Fine, I'll get incredible pee-pee. Let's go kill the snipers. Oh, do you have to- I'll do what you want, Dan. Well, I mean, you could- It's all about you today. Listen, based on our history, you could try to save that other person. You'll get shot 12 times by the exact snipers that we're going to take out now, bringing them back, and they'll die at the doorstep. Well, now that you made sense of it, it makes sense. Yeah. Oh, you're just- Oh, boy. Yeah, I think you're at a disadvantage here. You'll die. That'll kill you. There's no way in hell. Why not? Because you've done 1 64th of damage to him, and you've got one blinking life bar remaining. Well. Well, when you put it like that. All right, let's try that again. I think you got to go up to the roof and take my lightsaber. Didn't it say there was a safe house roof? Yeah, but is that nearby where it was? One way to find out. Oh, man, Dan, you're- I mean, it's right there. We're in the safe house. You're so smart, though. Don't rub your penis when you- I'm not rubbing- I'm rubbing my leg. You are, you are. I was at a bad angle. Oh, there he is. There he is. What's up, Johnny? Hey, Johnny. What's up, bud? Johnny Appleseed. Oh, oh, god. Whoa. Oh, oh, oh. What the fuck? Oh, damn. He's fast. My sword didn't even do anything. There we go. Nice, nice, nice. Oh, Jeepers Coffee Creamer. Creamer, Las Vegas. I got a drink. Whoa, that was close. Yeah, well, I'm closer, dude. Dude, you've got him. You got him. Just don't fuck it up. I have a history of fucking it up, dude. Yeah. Yeah! Oh, dude. Yeah, got him. Be careful. Don't let him shoot you. It's cool. I'll shoot them. Nice. Yeah, those sniper bullets do so much damage. Hey, man, whatever. You know- You know what? I hadn't considered it like that. Let him do the damage. Just kill him from the ground. Okay, you ballsy bastard. I can do it. Just trust me on this. Ugh, I kind of wish you'd save it before you try. So you don't lose killing the other one. Oh, man. You're always fucking smart. You're always coming up with smart things. Arin. Well, I don't know, man. Your compliments are so harsh. My brain doesn't work that way. Oh, yeah. Your brain is smart and mine is dumb. Yeah, but- Well, first of all, I'm not gonna yeah that. No, I'm not trying to show you up. I'm just- I'm not saying you're trying to show me up. Cool. Am I saying this in a mocking tone? Because I don't mean to. You just sound fucked up. Well, yes. That's 100% true. I am on medication for my sickness. The people- Oh, there he is. Hey. Oh, yeah. Do I not- Oh, I don't have any health items. Yeesh. Well, I'll see you later, big girl. Okay. I got Bill to talk to. Hey, Bill. You playing slots? You enjoying it? You like it? Ding, ding, ding. That's a nice idea, but I got money to win back. I ain't leaving without it. Put my laser sword in the fucking- Fuck you. Get the fuck out of here. Oh, sorry, Bill. Sorry, Bill. Well, I guess you can't play now. Yeah, I can't play the games. Well, hang on there, Speedy. Good things come to those who wait. Oh my god. Bill, have you lost your mind? Bill, why are you standing so close to zombies? Come on now. You can run along to your safe house if you're like, wow, he's not leaving. I gotta pay him money to save him? Get the fuck off me. God. I'm trying to talk to this fucking guy. I don't want to- You're not worth twenty thousand dollars. He's definitely not. Let's kill some snipers. I don't know who you are. Oof. Hold on. I'm gonna kill Bill. Oh, jeez. Arin. What? He's a fucking asshole. Oh, he's defected. Good. Fuck him. Wow. Idiot. Wow, Arin. That's what you get. Now you're the psycho. Whatever. That's what he gets. Use up half your lifesaver to kill him. I don't care. He's a fucking loser. Hold on. You're getting a call. Hello? Did you just kill a guy? We just saw it on the screen. You killed a guy. Yeah, he was being an asshole. Oh, well, okay. Over. Over and out. Nice. Oh. He shanked you. Dude, you might. Oh. Eat him without healing. Land of the free. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's not worth it to try. I got him. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, dear. It's okay. I got one more hit on him. Oh. Check this. Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, he knows it, too. Oh, fuck. Yeah, just drink your creamer. Whoa, okay. You're not safe here. I got creamer. Oh, god. Get to go. Oh, god. There's no cover. Ah. Ah. Oh, thank god. Yeah. Oh. That made me nervous. Great if I had a handgun right now. Oh, stop. Just kill him. You're doing amazingly. Yeah. You fucking. Peace out, Cub Scout. And you leveled up. Awesome. Where's Deets? I don't know. You went to Big Earl. I know. Well, I went outside. That's where the snipers are. Now I have to find Deets. Deets is on the cinema roof, which I have said at least three times. Yes, you're right. You're so right. You did say that. I'm sorry. I forgot. It's okay. I'm not mad. You're so right. I said it. I mean, you said it. Yes. Where's the cinema? Oh, boy. I gotta find the cinema now. Yeah, the cinema. Okay. Okay. There's a cinema somewhere, and I gotta find it. It should be easy. There it is. Okay. Oh, my God, Arin. Like, I feel like I'm going nuts. You feel like you're going nuts. Oh, God. You're so right. You're one of me lists, she's one of my boys. Whoa. Whoa. It's cool. I got it. I got a big girl. Hey, do you want to heal a little bit? No. Well, never mind. I'm good. Oh, yeah. This guy's the leader. He's big, and he's Earl. Oh, that's bad. Okay, run. Run. Holy shit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Jump off. Dude. I hope this doesn't kill you. It did. It did. God damn it. Fuck. If he gets a good shot off on you, just jump off immediately. Okay. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Why? Oh, boy. Oh. Jump, jump, leave, leave, leave, leave. Oh, God. Oh, God. Hoorah. I mean, you're going to be all right. As long as you have a lot of health, you can take him out. There you go. Baby. Yes. Yeah. Fuck you bigger. All you big, more like big. He's fine. Too much America. Too much patriotism. Damn, dude. That was fun. Oh, that was fun. That feels good. Hey, a burger. Damn, Terry. Oh, thanks. Everything's really small. You're holding this backwards, Jack. Whoa, you can teleport? Yeah. All I see is blue. He's just looking at the sky. Everything's going dark. The lens cap is on. Where you are. You are so smart. Yeah. Hip shop. That's on my shirt. Hip shop? Yeah. Because I got the S. No, I think it. Oh, yeah. All I see is blackness. I'm sorry, Chuck. Look, I. Look, you what? Um. Look, I. And there's a J. Sweet. Whoa, awesome. Oh, it's for TK. God damn it. I thought it was for us. These viewfinder goggles are so cool. How do I change it? Why? We're already together. Let's just go together. Because then they'd have to program her in. Yeah, I guess so. We're engaged. Wait, I didn't agree to anything. Jesus. That was fast. Oh, shit. He's gonna front, dude. Oh, TK. TK's like, you fronting, dude? This might be where you fight him. It's Randy Jackson. Don't call me fool. Money doesn't matter anymore. Oh, shit. Unless you're buying Zombrex. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, is this really happening? Is this happening like Chuck Norris style? Yes. Nice, dude. Oh, sick anime pose, too. Dude, Chuck is a badass. Did it knock him out? Oh, I wish he just like died right there. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I don't know his mom. Damn, they have a gatling gun. That's not good. Watch as I press buttons. Nice. Oh, shit. Things are about to get real. Oh, my god. Do I have to do this? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, you're gonna need a gun. Yeah. Nice. Gotcha. Yarn, you are. Shooting that shit out. What the fuck are you doing, dude? You can't shoot me. He might shoot you. You can't shoot me. Uh-oh. You can't shoot me, baby. Okay, they're winched. Nope. Winch time. Yes. Time to winch you, motherfucker. Throw that shit high. Nice. I'm so proud of you. You're doing great. Look at me go, look at me go. Really doing great. Oh, man. Check that shit out. Whoa. So many shooties. Oh. Ooh. Yikes. Whoa. Oh, god. You're alive, you're alive. Run. Eat that cake. Oh, god. Oh, fuck. Good thing you're a fast cake eater. Oh, Jesus Christ. Get out of there. Thought I could run underneath the bullets, but I was wrong. Winch that shit. Okay. Oh. Throw this one true, and you should kill him. Okay, awesome. Eat a cake or something. Uh-oh. Oh, oh, oh. Are we gonna watch him splatter on the ground? Oh, he's okay. Oh, you're definitely gonna have to fight him. Oh, god. Whoa, dude. Whoa, this is embarrassing for all of us, isn't it? I think he's dead. I don't know. You think he's gonna transform into a zombie man or something? Is he alive? Not for long. He's not even started paying for what he's done. Uh-oh. See, like, those are all usable bills. They're playing it off like, it's like, oh, no, they're all useless. Let's get back to the safe house with all this money and a bunch of duct tape. Hang on. Plot. Oh, yeah. He started it. He's behind everything. What? It turns around. He's not behind me. Thank god. Just so he could make a little bit more cash. We've got enough to run with the story. Oh. What'd you say? I said wallaby. The story is going to be big, huge. It's award material. Yeah, not that part about zombies destroying Las Vegas. Is it award material? Is it? Wait. We need to keep him alive. Oh, yeah. Capital punishment was made for a guy like this. Yeah, but look at that vest. It's a sweet vest. We just need to sit on it until the rescue. I volunteer. Volunteer's tribute, dude. Yeah. I'll start with the face. Uh. We'll do it your way. I'll stand watch firstly. He's not going anywhere for a while. Dude, you're at level 17. Yeah, because I'm- You've done great work in this playthrough. Thank you. Because I'm fucking awesome, dude. I mean, there have been other parts that were an unmitigated shit show. And I'm embarrassed to even have my name attached to it. But for the most part, you did pretty well. Thanks, man. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. You shouldn't. It's an insult. Oh, okay. No, I'm just kidding. You did wonderfully. Thanks. Although it's going to get a lot harder when the military gets here. As we know from Dead Rising 1. Whoops, sorry. Sorry. The first day. Excuse me, sir. Where? You mean to the south? What is this, like a Lord of the Rings style? Start at the north end and move down. Actually, technically the first kill was the guy you ran over on the way in here. Dude, that guy's a badass. Except now I'm killing all the zombies. But where did the tribal tattoo? He must be a bad guy. They don't give good guy a tribal tattoo. I can't wait until cell phone cameras are invented. One year from now. Boy, they're everywhere. There's one over there. And there's dramatically fewer in the cutscene. They're far away and evenly distributed. Yeah, get them all. Kiss him. What is he doing? Spraying gas out of his butt? Gas coming up from the vents. Oh, and it makes the zombies stronger. He's like, I got a boost. This can't be good. Oh, I thought he was going to transform or something. Oh, look, he's not like he's not a waste of ammo after all. Oh, oh, he's got alien acid blood now? We'll shoot at you. Oh, no. I ran out of batteries. I can't see shit in this fog and I can't see fog in all this. They're all around. Oh, damn. Look at the radar. They're all around us. What the hell was that? This is going well. I'm going to have to pull out the osmoobs. I don't know how to use this. Oh, OK, so we got a problem. This is no longer going as smoothly as we thought. Oh, I thought you were going to like. Oh, you mean with the stream? No. So we got a problem. I just shit my pants. I too shit my pants. It looks like we're all in the same shit out here. Katie, don't look. We're all shit in our pants. You got to shit yourself. Just do it. The zombies hate it. Have fun. Thanks, man. Well, I got a rocket launcher, so. We're all good. Oh, they're faster. Yeah, they're extra strong. Oh, they barf. Oh, why? Damn, it's a quick time event now. Hey, why? Why? Jeepers, crappers. Why? Oh, they're so aggressive. Yeah, you're. Oh, yeah. I want my rocket launcher. Stop it. Give it. Stop. You're not going to get it. Get out of there. Get out of there. Get out of there. I'm trying. Oh, my God. Oh, and he said I wouldn't get it. Yeah, you look great. Everything's great. Oh, these are just like regular zombos. Oh, yay. Oh, that's relaxing. Careful. That'll explode. Will it? Yeah. You should find some food, dude. Find some food, dude. Just got to be your whole goal right now. Whole goal. You get killed. I showed him. Shit. Yeah. Well, what is this? Message expired. You expired. Yeah. Everybody expired. Oh, Rebecca's sleeping. Did she die? I don't think so. She's a main character. The guy who's not bald is named April. Yeah. Joe DiMaggio is. Oh, goodness. That's a lot of blood. Yeah, you can't do that. I'll save you. That's my boy. Oh, boy. You don't have any health. Yeah, I'm in a rough spot here. I got motor oil. Good. Drink that. I got hit by bullets. I think I'm probably going to die. Yeah, that's any OJ. I got nothing, man. Yeah. I'm sitting on Baltic with quack shot me while I was on the ground. Yes. All right, then. Very cool. I'd say save when you can with you'll have nice full health. Yeah, that's what you would say. I knew that was what you were going to say. I knew it. I don't know why you're shitting on me for helping. It's just my jam. Do you remember? It's just my jam, dog. That's where I get in Dead Rising. It's the mental space that I get into. Yeah. Eat it, Sergeant Boykin. Maybe I'll shoot him with this gun. Oh, grenade. He threw a grenade. Oh, sweet. See you. Yikes. Not into that. Oh. Yeah. I think he's saying it to his buddies. Because these things are still alive. Oh, yeah. Oh, headshots don't do more damage. You're kicking ass, though. Oh. Oh. Oh, F off. Wow, he just... Oh, bump you, dude. Oh, damn. He's my Boykin. Lame. Oh, you're alive. I'm critical. Holy crap. There's no way I can do this. Holy crap. Yeah, I'm done. You got to combo the two weapons. Yeah, I should do that. Or you can finish him here. No, that's it. You're alive. Wow. I'm sorry. Stop with the coughing. That's the thing that gets me. What makes you cough? It's just random. It's like tripping in Smash Brothers. You keep putting your orange juice down. What do you mean I keep... Oh, I have too many items. What? Mrs. Phil. Oh, don't drink it. What are you doing? All right. Reload. Reload. Oh, it's fine. No, you're going to need that. No, I don't. That'll make a difference when you die fighting the guy. I get it, Dan. Just do it. Don't fuck it. Just do it. Just swallow your pride and do it. No. I am not good at this game. Let me just say that right now. Admit it just out loud so nobody could be like... You just haven't played it in a while. Okay, I know. I suck. It's been a long time. You were quite good at it. Uh, I don't recall ever being good at this, Dan. That's very generous of you. You're a very kind soul. Never been called that with so much fuck you in the town. Oh my God. Sledgehammer axe. Axe hammer. I guess it really kills the boys. Whoa, the defiler. Wow. I love it. No, yeah, don't use it. Save it for... Well, I got to get them out of the way. Okay, cool. Well, close the door. Oh, no. Close the damn door. Oh, fuck. They're in there. Oh, this isn't good. Stop coughing, you dick. Oh, no. Oh, no. Right after you were like, oh, okay. Here, let me have you with that. Here's some assistance with that tape. Nice. Hell yeah. Defile them. Defiled. Consider these punks defiled. That's pretty epic. Yeah, it's fantastic. Yes. Defile him. Oh, it's so good. More defiling. Yeah. Oh, man. Yours is way better than his. Yeah, you get up. Get up. You're gonna kick his ass. Any more juice? I got, I got that juice. Drink the juice. Delicious. I think this gun might be better right now. Where'd the grenade go? Oh, it's okay. No, the defiler was killing him, dude. Yeah, but I can kill him from a distance with the gun. Iron short bursts. Yeah. He can't even do anything. He doesn't know what to do. He's a little confused. I've never been shot before. Oh, dude. Great work. Defile him. I will defile him one last time. Oh, you freaking. Come on. Ah, you're dope. Don't throw me. No, don't throw him. He got me. No, you can do it. Is he really a thing? Don't, don't get shot though. Don't get hit. Don't get. Oh, you fucking dope. No, no, no. Don't throw me. What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Yeah, you just can't get too close. Just hit him. Yay. Oh, excuse me. What are you talking about? I'm the prophecy of hip hop. Extra, extra large. Chuck, I have a massive head wound. Time to go. I love doing this. Maybe he survived. Let's interrogate him. Are you okay? No. My legs a little hot. We better get back to your all. It is. Oh, what are we going to do about this? Oh God. You have to get back to the bunker. Thanks for the head. Zombie. Oh, really? Rebecca. Oh boy. Am I having to deal with this for the next fucking hour? Oh, it's one of these things. It's one of these things. The little, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, those. Why don't I have a weapon? Why don't I have a weapon? Why don't I have a weapon? No, not the orange juice. You son of a bitch. I'm panicking over here. Okay, we're back. Where'd the flies go? Oh, there it is. Oh, the queen. Oh, there's two. Yes. Yes, queen. Now die. Yes, queen. This is going well. Yeah, man. Everything's looking good around here. Oh, I'm threading the needle. If you want her to walk, you can get the leadership magazine. It's at the silver strip. Forget that shit. All right, well, good talk. Just, just, just sharing some of the knowledge. Yeah, we have to run with this lady in arms and just pray to God. Oh, open the damn door. I was getting really nervous. Open the ding dong dilly dang door. I'm sorry for cursing. Rebecca's like, I can't believe you. Put me down. I want to be carried by a lech. They went berserk. Oh, they're zombies. It's real funny. You're hilarious TK. You want me to kill him? A handsome man. And handsome. Shame. What's going on? TK. Where'd you get the gas? How's it hanging? Taco Bell. Chipotle. Take your pick. What the hell did I ever do to you? I don't know. You're just the name they gave me. He knows more. A lot more. Don't talk to me. He just doesn't have the resources. Or the burritos. Oh. No, we're busy. All the survivors are dead. Oh man. I don't know what you want me to say. Oh my God. Oh my goodness gracious. Oh, here we go. Yay. I'm not supposed to go there. Oh no. You're not supposed to go there? You just aggroed all these zombies. Oops. Oops. Uh, alright. Bye. Excuse me. Good luck, Crystal. Where does he want me to go? Oh, right here. This is where I drop it. Oh, yeah. That's the hot- Place item. Okay, great job. You need a spool of wire. Excuse me. Does anyone have a spool of wire? Uh. Oh, you gotta hit it to hack it. I need some fucking help, bro. Just hack it. It's right there. Hack at it? No, no. Just push the button. Oh, god. Hacking. Hacking. Hacking the panel. This guy's just like- Hey, guys. Just wait your turn, dude. Wait your turn. Yes. Panel hacked. Kill these motherfuckers. Wow. Okay, well, or- It's done. Well, that's fine. Everything's cool. Yeah. They're all dead, except for the ones that are in here, but- I know you got them. That's why I was under the couch in my- I know this will be a successful place. I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna sniff him. Oh, shit. Is Sullivan a bad guy? Sullivan's a bad guy. What? She's just made a reference to him leaving his position. Oh, no. Oh, wait. Hang on. Donuts must wait. Oh, TK. How does it taste, bitch? I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. Oh, no. This is so sad. But I didn't bring a condom. Ew. How you doing? Nobody. Have that back, Dan. Pass it back so I can format the last of them. Well, I guess we don't need to ask any more questions about that. Yeah. Welp. Oh, boy. Why? Some people are just more resistant to the infection than others. I'm not an ambi-turner. I can't turn left. You gotta help me. How long does he have? I don't think we'll know until he turns, Chuck. Till the boogie starts? You go, TK. Love you. Thanks, Chuck. But you are one lucky bastard. No such thing as luck, little man. It's the superior genes. You know what? Maybe you should stop talking shit for one second. Levi. You should never say that sentence. Oh, Dan. Oh, Dan. Oh, my god. Early indications of survivors of the official emergency shelter were proven false when a military rescue team entered the shelter only to find it completely overrun, and everyone already dead. Contact with the rescue team was abruptly lost as they attempted to exit the city. They are now presumed to have also perished in the outbreak. In light of this new information, the president has ordered the immediate eradication of- Oh, boo. Military bombers are preparing to execute these orders at precisely seven o'clock. So hopefully you're watching this. They just got the wrong information. Calm down and relax. Calm down? The government is going to bomb us. Yeah, well. Like one time. He's simply not going to kill a bunch of unarmed civilians. Oh, dude. Hey, we simply need to go out there and take control. Go out there? Are you out of your mind? He's a security guard. Yeah, and stay calm and think our way out of this. I did not work this hard just to get blasted off this rock. So I'm going to drink some screwdrivers and then play some spots. Now who's with me? Well, no one's going to hear it unless we get the hell out of here. There's more going on here than just a heist. First the gas. And now this. Always with the gas. It was one time. There's no way he could access the media with that lie that we're all dead. And he couldn't order a military firebombing. This is bigger than TK. Way bigger. Look, I know we've all been through a lot in the past few days, but don't go making it worse and start making. Let's reminisce right now. For example, I was bitten by a zombie. What about you? I didn't notice it at the time. Everything was happening so fast. The gas. It looks like it's coming from underground. Oh, really? Are you telling me the gas rises? Those tunnels are going to be crawling with thousands of those gas zombies or whatever they are. Going down there is just. Super zombies or ultra zombies or awesome zombies. Whatever they are. I mean, best zombies you can call over. The coolest, the coolest, sexy zombies or whatever they are. Wait, what's going on? You got to kill somebody. Wow. They're killing their own. Yeah, they don't. They're not giving a shit about me. Whoa. Fuck it. I'll take advantage of it. Yeah. Sneak, sneak, sneak that burger. Uh, I'm going to sneak the, sneak the burger. Oh, he barfed on you. And sweep the burger. Fuck you. Hamburger. Yeah. Oh, you're delicious. Oh, don't barf on me. You stupid ass. Trying to eat this burger. You just barfed on me and ditched. Like what the fuck? I know they're weird. We're actually really weird. What are they doing? Boy. I don't understand. Arin, don't even question it. Just go. I mean, I'm just curious. Yeah. I'm curious too. Oh, now they're after me. Nah, dang it. Maybe I should get in the thing. Yes. Why'd you run right by it? Because I was being chased and I got scared. Don't you understand basic human emotions? I do. I do. Go, go, go. Excuse me. Sorry. All right. Now I'm safe. Be careful. Oh, but it's fun though. I know, but you can't afford to go on foot down here. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is bad. This is bad. Oh boy. All right. Ooh, nice turning. Oh, get out of there. Oh God. This is exactly what I warned you about. It's okay. I got a sword. Dude. How are you going to open up the door? Uh, I don't know. Oh, here we go. Oh shit. Yeah. They don't give a shit about me. Yeah. They're trying to get somewhere. All right. Let's all just relax while I really contemplate. Yeah. Why the fuck is this the stupidest cut scene ever? They expect you to kill every zombie beforehand. Just hang out back there. Well, I guess they don't give a shit. Weird. I've got an itchy face. What if one of them is just like, I should see a doctor. Dude, Chuck is like playing it cool. Hell yeah, dude. Oh, a bunch of Queens. Queens fly. Sorry. That's what the Queens do too. They slay. They do. Oh shit. Is this good? Oh, good. It's even getting the crazy ones. Everyone's trying to pop lock and drop. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, but the pop is when their heads explode. And then the lock is when their body sees up after rigor mortis. And the drop is when they dropped before. Yeah, you just saw it. Oh my God. They're harvesting the bees. Where do you get them? Yeah, you guys are not cool. All right. You're going to have a fight on your hands. Stop. Swing. Bada Bada. Oh boy. Nice. Got him. Bro. One shot kills. Hell yeah, dude. Yes, please. I got to get the assault rifles. Please. Where should I drop? I guess I should drop these Queens because I don't need zombies. Whatever I mean. Maybe a coke to drink or something. Arin, why would you stand in the line of fire? Why are you? I didn't know I was in the line of fire. Stop. Stop. Asshole. Yeah. Eat shit. Eat lead. I've always wanted to see this. I think it might be better to just run at him and take him out with the shot with the axe. Yeah, but this is more frustrating. Yeah, but this will make me madder and do less. They're hilarious. What the fuck? How come their bullets don't do anything, but the one hit from this thing destroys them? I don't know, Arin. Look, man, I understand it's probably a better thing to do. Oh my God. Look what you made me do. Great. Now I'm down one tray. Tuck and roll, baby. The pizza's gonna get you. The pizza. Oh, you dick hole. Great job. Oh, damn. Oh, damn. Oh, damn. Sorry. I insulted you, but let's not get crazy here. I only murdered four of your guards. Oh, jeez. Pierce mark. Oops. Well. Oh my God. That weapon is the best. I made a barf too. Yeah, that's much more satisfying. What's it called again? What's that thing called? The blast frequency gun. Girl. Look at that dumb antenna coming out of the side of that stupid cell phone. What an idiot. So harsh, dude. Well, he's 2010. Well, I killed him. Phenotrans. Oh, you bastards. Don't act like you know what that means, Chuck. Yeah. That is a word you have never seen before. I hate phenotrans. They get all up in my turkey and make me sleepy. You're thinking of tryptophan. Still warm. I think I'm peeing it. Thanks for the coffee. Oh my God. Oh man. I played this game for too long with you. God dang. Yeah. Oh, it's not going to make it. Press the wrong button. Oh, I have to get the coffee creamer. Oh, thank God, dude. Not down to clown right now. Please exit. This is absurd. Yeah, this is really bad. Yes, Queen. Yes, Queen. Slay. I think I have one. You just got to run. I got a clean. Check it out. Ah, check it out. Just run. Just queen. Oh my God. Oh, coffee creamer. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Pick it up. You stupid bastard. And a second coffee creamer for my loins. No, don't pour it on your loins. Just drink it. Ah, but it'll go in my bloins. Your bloins? My bloins. Why you always bloins? I would recommend drinking the other coffee creamer. Oh, fuck off, Dan. Yeah. But okay. It's Phenotrans. Oh, that's the company. What? But isn't that what makes you sleepy after you eat turkey? Oh no, they make Zombrex. Oh, so they want to like perpetuate the zombie disease so they can sell more Zombrex. It's a statement on the pharmaceutical companies. There's nothing imaginary about this. That's so fucked up. I bet Sullivan's working for him. I'll tell them. People aren't buying Zombrex like they used to. But now zombies are back and even the military can't stop them. I guess we're going to need a double military then. This is so fucked. Literally. So you're saying that Phenotrans killed all these people to drive up the goddamn stock price. This is just crazy. Well, I don't believe it. We have to take these bastards down. Sullivan's like, well, no, no, no. Wait just a second. Yeah, hold on. You've been feeding us claptrap for a long time now. Do you want to button up the... Oh my God. It was Sullivan. You were right. Rebecca. No. She survived so many things. What the heck? Katie's like, he's got a gun. Maybe she can survive this. You're on the payroll. That's a bunch of claptrap. You were supposed to die in the outbreak, Chuck. All you were supposed to... So why didn't you just kill them? Yeah, he's got to talk to them first. The firebombing will fix all of that. So no one will find the bullets in your bodies. Wait, but what about the bullet in her body? I didn't want him to go down this way. I wanted you to die in a different manner. Me too, Katie. You did. You really did. Like a Liam Neeson ass motherfucker. I'm going to gently hit you with this bat. You got to use the nail bat, baby. Wait, Katie, is he still there? Follow me. Daddy's got to murder someone. Not with the defiler, he's not. Oh, here we go. Oh, it's go time, baby. Excuse me. Hey, I'm going to give up my element of surprise. Yeah. Everything that's happened. That's what you think? Uh, yes, actually. We're trying to save lives here, Chuck. Yeah, are you? Saving lives? What the hell are you talking about? Come on. Arin, did you save? I had to take the necessary steps. Huh? Wait, he saved back at the ranch. Everyone in the chat is spamming it. Uh oh. Uh oh. It's what I said in my head. And TK looting the city? Not a good sign. Well, I mean. When you look at my dollar sign thing, it makes my shirt look like it says hip shop. Just make a conversation. We dude. Yeah, great. Well, that's our country's finest. This is a metaphor for the 1%. Oh my God, one time. No. Uh oh. We have done has been absolutely necessary. Or me too. Puppy. I'm gonna heckin beat your butt. Oh no, your defiler. Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. Excuse me. Oh my God. You gotta be a little farther from him. Oh, he's like invincible. Holy shit. I left my defiler up there. I'm a little book eyed on this. The thing. And fight him. This is so dumb. I don't have any connection to this dude. Don't give a shit. Drop kick him. Yeah, get stunned. Get stunned motherfucker. He does way more damage than I do. Yeah, he sure does. Wow. Oh God. This sucks. How am I supposed to win this? Very slowly. Is that what they mean by drop kick? Yeah. Yeesh. Not working though. Alright, fine. Game over Chuck. It's very meta of you Sullivan. This sucks. Oh boy. This is like the worst game in the world. Here we go. No, I mean like just this fight. Right. Cool. Neato. So far so good. Yes, yes, yes. Can you stand on those wood crates? Apparently zombies can't get you. And you just shoot up at him? Oh no, you need to stand on the wood crates I think. So he can't shoot back at you. You have to like, you have to line of sight him. Oh, oh, I see. You have to outline of sight him. No, he can shoot me on here. No, he can't. Oh. Yes. This is what I love. Get him. Might want to use that lobster though. Oh shit. Oh God, this is making me very happy. This is pretty cheesy. I like this. Hey man. They're the ones that set up a cheesy battle. Oh no, we moved up. You can move forward. Move forward, move forward. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You have a better angle here than he does. This is the only time the high ground doesn't win. I'd say. Yeah. You could only win Anakin. I have the higher ground. Dumb ass. Yeah, you definitely do more to him than he's doing to you. This is the most cheesy mechanic. Holy crap. This is making me so happy. Yes. Yes, Queen. You still have 144 more bullets. Yeah. Did you say outclassed? Yeah. Yeah. Is he talking about himself? Yeah. Too slow. I don't know if it's too slow, man. I feel like I got you. One, you got one more shot at him. I feel like I can get that much health with the gloves. Okay. Oh, no, don't. Don't. Just take your time. All right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You like that? Oh, okay. You're good. You're good. Is this it? Oh, no, you're all right. You're all right. You're all right. You can do this. Maybe find an OJ. The lobster's right there. What is it? Lobster's right to the left. On the ground. Yeah. Pick up that lobster. Pick up, run, eat. Eat lobster. Oh, no, no, no. Get on the crate. Get on the crate. What was that? Lame. Oh, we've got a long way to go. I'm going to have to hand to hand him in a second. Come on. Where are you? Stop dicking around, dude. I'm dicking around. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's great. He's great. He's definitely my favorite. Boss of any game. Last shot. An award-winning. Well, okay. Quick step. Yeah, chug it. Oh, give me health too. Yeah. Ah, shit. I was so fast. I mistimed my jump. You're actually so fast. All right. Give it to him. Oh, he will save you. You can't just run up to him still. Stop. Get away from him. Dude, this is such bullshit. Okay, back away. Yeah. I'm not getting greedy. Hit him twice. You got to count for the time it takes. Look, man. What can you play this damn game? There's also food in here. They don't like that. Might actually be good. Yeah. If you find it, there's food under here. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Can't find the food, dude. Oh, eat the lobster. I hate this more than anything. I hate this more than fucking Skyward Sword Ganondorf. Eat the lobster. Just eat the lobster. I know. I'm getting to a safe place. You totally got this. Run away. Oh, he's just cool. He's thinking. Oh, yeah. I'm so glad he stood there for no reason. Oh, what a dream. I had to have a walkie talkie conversation. That's what happens when you call people and drive. Or walk. Or kill. Looks like your plans are changed. Hey, Sullivan, remember to wash your hands after you eat shit. Wait, why are you on the floor? I thought you just beat his ass. He just punched me. I don't know. What a jerk. What the hell was that? Jellyfish? We're the good guys, Chuck. Not you. Oh, he's gonna get ripped in half? Oh, yeah. He's getting Fulton. Yeah, that's a strong handcuff. Yeah, I guess so. Ew. Wait, what did it clip to? His belt? Yeah. Well, and so does the greatest enemy in video game history. Yeah, I really love them. Sullivan. I'm up there with Bowser, Sephiroth, Huntington. What was his name? Barthington. Barthington. You want the scoop of a lifetime? There's a bunker full of survivors in Fortune City. And I've got the proof of what happened here. I need rescue choppers, and I need them right now. News networks have them, right? I'm the innocent man standing next to the severed torso. Have you seen my daughter? Hey, it's those people. What? Oh, sure. Those are the two people you saved this whole fucking time. I saved like a ton of people. Are you single? Do you remember all those people in the safe house? It was Sullivan and my daughter. Oh, my God. It's not over yet. What? Really? You gotta find your daughter. But I just killed Hannington. Sullivan. Sunderton? And where's cute girl? Cute girl? Yeah. She did. No. Yeah, she died. She's taking care of your Uffpuff. What could it mean? It's like Rosebud. Kicks off the offense of the rest of the game. It's only descending. Oh, is it TK? Did TK steal your Puff Puff? TK? Shut up, you son of a bitch. If you hurt them, you ready for overtime, Chucky? It's the last part of the show, and we just get started. There's still seven and a half hours of gameplay. And now you're going to get me something I want. A bag of chips. A tiny backpack that says Puff Puff. You'll never take my Puff Puff. Ow, my feet. I should have worn shoes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, I love it. Once it's down. Down. Look at him, he's going. He's like, ah. Ah, shit, dude. This is giving me so much pee-pee, dude. Yeah, this is excellent. Because that should be your main goal right now, like leveling up. Yeah, dude. Oh, did it malfunction? Oh, he's probably all right. Oh, baby. Our guitar. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Does it just knock him down, though? Or does it actually kill him? Yeah, it only knocks him down. Let's see how much pee-pee you get in a crowd. Didn't look like I got any pee-pee. Give it a shot. There you go. For criminy's sake. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. But it's only to knock people back. Yeah, get some distance. Don't touch me. All right, to the compromising photo, then. I've got a bad feeling that it's all part of one timer. And we should be hauling ass. Dude. Because when has this game ever been cool about, like, giving you tons of time to do stuff? You're being really negative right now, and I need you to fucking tone it down. All right, Arin. I'm really not appreciating. Smash cut to, Why the fuck didn't they tell me I had so little time? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you did it. Okay, screens. Okay, cool. Mobile headset. You could conceivably pull this off. Do you think? It's gonna be very, very snug. Dude, you know I like it snug. You get, um, knocked down, but something something. You know, sometimes you get knocked down, but, uh, I have it on good authority that you often get up and get back up again. Why do you need a lab suit? I don't know, man. What is the purpose of any of this? Fucking TK, dude. Drink that orange juice that's there. Got it. Nice. Got everything. Got everything. Return to the arena. What? Oh, damn it. Really? Yeah. Oh, but I don't have, you know, it's got a hygiene mask on. No, why? What are you doing? Because. All right. That's it, Chuckles. You got it all. Drink the OJ. All right, so, uh, how far is the arena? I don't know, man. Okay, this would be a good time to drink OJ. And save. I'm just gonna keep saying it. He already saved. I'm just chanting it. Okay, so you're gonna lose all your items and stuff. This is going to go really, really awesome. And we're totally going to get it done in one try. That's fucking right. That's the spirit of power. I totally closed the fucking walkthrough. Oops. Oh. Dang. Boy. Oh, he's all bloody. What happened to him? Well, he got bit, remember? That's why he was in the hospital bed. What a dumb ass. I want to save this guy. Oh, you're not. You're trying to kill him at this point. It looks like something you get at Toys R Us. Yeah, it does. It was like drifting towards his face. It's like the worst ending to a movie. Arin, do you want me to shoot some, like, tactics at you? Or do you want to just go in blind? Because I feel like even if you throw tactics at me, it's not really going to go very well. Let's see what we're starting with. Big money. Oh, good. Your friends. My friends? My daughter's somewhere else. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, it's like the hero's journey. Boy, he's busting so much sag in those pants. It must be really hard to repel upwards. What if he just lost his pants on the way up and he's like, What if everyone cares? Everyone will see my stain. I can't smell it. I got this hygiene mask down. Everyone will see the sick streaks. He looks like a hero right now. He looks like a blackjack dealer that has a disease. They told me to come in, but I thought I should stay home. Anyway, you want to hit or not? Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Oh my God. And Katie and Stacy have a thing too. Use crank. Going back up. It's like he has a mace. Okay, well, I'm going to get this OJ first of all. Oh no. Is that good? Is this good? Did I break the game? Okay. With the cardboard box, please don't tease me. TK, please don't tease me. This blows. Oh man. Assuming you have to roll out of the way when he charges at you like that. Don't worry. Ah, roll. Oh boy. I'm going to die. And Stacy and Katie have made no progress towards the top. I mean, I'm like, like the other guy. What's his face? What's his fuck with the gun? What is that? What's that winged thing? I don't know what I'm trying to pick up this. Stop. Just trying to pick up the snack. I wish you could target items. What you're looking like. A snack. That's exactly right. Yeah. You need to get yourself some OJ, baby. Oh dear. There's one more OJ and it's by a bunch of boxes that make me pick them up first. If I go over there, he's going to, if I go over there, he's going to activate this shit. Pick it up. Drink it. Drink it. Drink it. Drink it. Thank you. So fucking unfair. Yes. Stop. That did nothing. Yeah. That's a complete waste of time. Exactly the same life as before. Oh, a snack. Oh, there we go. Oh, this is the worst. Nice. Oh dang. It really is not the worst, but it is pretty frustrating. Yeah. Rabbit. No, throw it away. I was trying to get out of here before the fucking things went off. Oh no, but it's coming towards you. You got it. There you go. Well, that's, that's good. Oh God. There's just like no avoiding it. If you stand in one place, can you do it? No, because after it explodes, there's like, there's like rockets that come out. Oh, good. And now I have no life left. Hey, orange juice near some boxes. Oh, TK. Awesome. Have another box TK. I didn't even pick that up. I didn't even press a button to pick that up. Neat. Video games, right? They're supposed to bring us joy, but they just bring us endless pain. Yeah. They're just a distraction from the things that truly bring us joy. You know, the beautiful flower outside or an embrace from a loved one. But instead these games torture us. They challenge us sometimes. Yes. But most of the time they just steal us. They take us. Wow. Arin, this is getting dark. Anyway, I'm going to beat TK now. F off TK. It's like a Howie scream. Um, you have two hits every time he has an opening. Yeah. I know. Okay. All right. I wouldn't go here. Well, I got to get the OJ bro. Okay. You know that the fucking god. Or maybe this box. Run, run, run, run, run. Not that way. The other way. Oh God. Hit him. Hit him. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Good job. Oh, he ran. Nice. This is, this is going well. I have this snack over here. That's what you're looking like. I'll say it every time. Dang it. Oh, he's got me. That's that's loving. Did you need evidence? This isn't exactly the best. Don't worry about it. Just do your thing. Oh, maybe it gives Katie and Stacy a crank. Oh, I shouldn't have said it like that, but you know what I mean? Oh, nevermind. No time. Oh my God. Oh, Oh. Oh, what a jerk. Yes. Yes. Brute force him. Oh, gosh. Dang it. Oh, you can do it. Yeah. Katie and Stacy are fine. They're totally fine. Yeah, they're good. Everything's good. Yeah. Yay. Arin. Yay. Oh my God. Oh, God damn it. That would be awesome if it was final words. Right? It's going to be a no from me. Don't you don't get it to see him splatter. No. The other guy got severed in half by a helicopter. Well, you should kill these two for drama. Yeah. He saved us. You see what I did there? Cause you were about to die while hanging. S S B D V O. I'm dead. What? We're all dead. Oh, man. Is this one of those shitty fucking six sense endings with the twist and such? Yeah. You've been dead the whole time. What? Man. Fuck. Let's go to the hip shot. High five. You're my new mom. Yeah. You're hot enough to be my new mom. Hell yeah. Yeah. I like that. I'm happy that you're doing a nice stroll, but like still 8,000 zombies. Good stuff. The only jump scare in the game. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Did we get lots of PB from that? You got over a million PB. Oh damn. That's a lot of PP. And you leveled up. You finally leveled up and my range attack increased. Excellent.

Channel: GameGrumps

Views: 1,042,685

Keywords: lets play, walkthrough, gameplay, egoraptor, danny, game grumps, gamegrumps, funny, arin, letsplay, gaming, let's play, game play, dan avidan, arin hanson, Game Grumps, dead rising, dead rising 2, zombie games, fps, first person shoter, horror gaming, survival horror

Id: uAgnV-upa8A

Length: 166min 25sec (9985 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 16 2023