David Goggins Will Change Your Life | Rich Roll Podcast

[Music] all right let's do it let's do it man man [ __ ] gaga yes that is like the refrain without the audiobook man Skolnick popping in with just like after every chapter like man I mean I thought I knew this story right and I know a lot of it right uh there's just so much more there man so much more man unbelievable it's all surface man I only had an hour to talk to people in a podcast yeah I get the surface version of the the book goes deep dark into the sewer yeah tells you everything it's an incredible accomplishment it's such an unbelievable document it's gonna inspire and catalyze a lot of growth and a lot of people man so first off like congratulations on getting this thing done thank you a small thing no sir and what's amazing about it before we even get into the content of it is that you made this decision to self publish this book yes sir right now it's out like number two or number three on Amazon of all books all right all right that just doesn't happen with a self-published book and you've been able to do this without any mainstream media whatsoever like I did a google search this morning I wanted to see any hits that you had like in the last week or in the last day right you're not on The Today Show you're not you didn't do any of that this is all self propelled DIY and to go from you know that place to the very top like selling the number of books that you're selling like right out of the gate is just insane right there's got to be a lot of people in publishing looking at that going what is going on here well that's been the story of my life I I see something that's that's quite off quite not the same and that's what I go for I've just that this book is exactly who I am as a person exactly the way I did this book is Howard um my almost my entire life as I see what is not the norm what's impossible with we know what all the theorists say you shouldn't be doing this that's the wrong way to go and I'm like hmm let me see if I can pull this [ __ ] off yeah over here maybe second pull this [ __ ] off was that part of the the challenge the decision I mean I it seems to me that the decision is self-published was generated more by a desire to really you know own your story that was that's it 100% it's there was no driven message with me trying to prove people wrong or whatever it was a hundred percent by me wanting to own my life there's a lot of people I know that that I speak with right now that have nice book deals out there and the people who buy their book we are a publishing house they can't even talk some of this stuff you know in like like an speaking engagements you know I'm like what you can't even talk your story and some of these like no like I got to make sure that they're they're aware of it and I'm like nah man I want to own a hundred percent of the suffering I went through in my life I don't anybody telling me I gotta you can't say this I would lose my [ __ ] but you I suffered this this badly and you you can [ __ ] tell me I can't say this they're been all kind of problems with that one so I made sure that I wanted to own all of can't hurt me and own all of my own life story so that's what it really is all about well you really have ownership not only of your own story but your ability to tell it right and you know as as somebody who's like a member of the ultra community you know I remember and I think we talked about this last time you kind of disappeared for a couple years there around like I don't know what it was like 2009-2010 that wasn't 13 you've had like a website in a blog that would get updated once in a while and I would check in and try to see what you were up to and you just went totally dark ghost man yeah and I didn't know about the heart stuff there was something about like oh there's a hell thing that you're dealing with right and I thought oh this guy's just disappeared right but you were that was the recruiting era right where you were just on the road telling her story and putting in the reps right on how to tell your story so it was the recruiting error for me when I started becoming like the the Navy SEALs needed more blacks in in the SEAL Teams and that's what we don't understand I like you know why is it become a recruiter in the SEAL Teams I was one of the few black guys you know and I already done bad water so I got a little bit you know small bit of notoriety for doing bad water and so the Navy SEALs like oh my god you know like we could use this guy to try to get the the 1% of the African Americans and Navy SEALs up to maybe 2% and so I hit the road start doing that but also hey I'm not a big guy on social media so I was actually happy to kind of pull away from it you know I'm just not big on that stuff even today I'm just not a big fan of it man I'm a big introvert I get a lot of my strength from being introverted and I'm going out there and doing what I do is very all this is very difficult for me man oh yeah it's funny when you say you're introverted because you're so good you know when it comes to sharing your story and it's so compelling and you know there's a lot of people out there like quote their quote unquote like influencers are like wow like this guy's got I know what do you have like six hundred thousand-plus on Instagram yeah yeah and for somebody who's you're averse to it you don't like it you hate it you only post once in a while you don't really advertise what you're doing at all but your own this huge following of people who are super interested in what you're doing well I think it's important to do things you don't like and I am I was very ashamed in my life story for a long time IIIi didn't want to go out and tell anybody [ __ ] about me so that's why I had to people I you know I create one david Goggins and one Goggins right and I didn't want people to know that I had all these issues but after a while people start to give you these different tag lines you know like you're superhuman you're amazing they start my [ __ ] don't know anything about me man I'm this insecure kid I started realizing there's a lot of people out here who are going through a lot of problems that I once tapped into you know I had a whole bunch of issues growing up and you know I I felt compelled to this you know what you got to start sharing this stuff man cuz people see where you're at today they see where you're at today they they see the man you are they this this hard rock-hard human being show these people where you come from right as people as possible it's funny when you're reading the like once you get into the later chapters like six seven or eight you know all the way to the end you start to forget chapters one and two that's right you start thinking this guy is a superhuman and then you got to remind yourself like oh man look where he came from right I actually do it in the audiobook in the audiobook well while Adam is reading we have a moment where we stop because I like six or seven you know six seven eight where I start doing all these crazy feats and start going way beyond human limits for myself and I tell people why are you hearing this I know you guys have already forgotten about how I came up don't forget the torture I endured mentally and physically in my own mind going through all this [ __ ] so no don't ever forget that so people forget that so quickly when they get to that seven eight nine ten chapters so this is yeah the we should just mention the audio book I mean the book is amazing but the audio book is the next level and part of that is because you guys kind of broke the paradigm here you made this somewhat risky decision to have Adam read most of the book and we can get into the reasons behind that which I think are well considered but then after each chapter you and Adam break it down podcast style like informally where you just freestyle on write that chapter was all about and that just brings brings it to life in like this Technicolor way which makes it just such a compelling experience well everything I do I try to do my very best and now that I'm out here trying to share this story with people I want to be so real so [ __ ] authentic to the point where it was embarrassing to me and as I was writing some stuff and I was giving it to Adam and we were going back and forth and like man I'll talk to my fiancee do I really want people to [ __ ] know this about me but that's the power and that's the strength you can summon to be that vulnerable because that's how people are gonna be able to emotionally connect exactly when they look at what you've done in bad water and all the buds and all that kind of stuff it becomes difficult for people to relate to that right when you have the strength and the fortitude to share those parts of your life that do embarrass you or provoke shame and you that's the that's the like that's the real [ __ ] I had to show people I was human you know people didn't think I was human they thought I came from outer space man from some spacecraft and [ __ ] and landed down here and formed Goggins from the rocks and the soil of the earth not know how it is man so I said yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna share a secret with you all well in one of the recaps you tell Adam writing this book was the hardest thing you've ever done and as somebody who's done a lot of hard [ __ ] that was a surprising thing to hear well looking in the mirror at yourself because I did a really good job by creating this guy in now so I could just go by and just live by this guy here this Who I am do you think of it as like this because you refer to yourself in the third person all this it's like this character that you're trying to aspire to be that distinct from you like you you create this like division how does that work it's a big division because I do not talk to people like I see where I'm at today but I know where I come from and it's kind of hard to almost separate that I'm almost not in a way I'm kissing my own ass but I'm amazed at what a human being can actually do so I start talking myself in the third person it strictly because I know that I literally made this human being out of out of just like a whole bunch of scraps mm-hmm and I wasn't you know I wasn't a mechanic I wasn't a carpenter so I don't know how to do anything you know I wasn't trained and how to build a human being from nothing you know like my mom didn't train me my dad didn't train me life in the training well life blood trail yeah life did train me correction and I started putting this scrap metal together like I want what's the flux that happened you know the first shot I do is all [ __ ] up and after I start learning more and more and more through pain and suffering start learning normal just learning so much about stuff before I knew it man I've built this beautiful card I'm like how the [ __ ] did I do that and I knew hunting it and I know how to do it because I have all the tools do all the failure I went through trying to build this person who's Goggins mm-hmm yeah and that was something I came across loud and clear which is it's not like you develop this toolbox and then everything worked out no no there's so many ups and downs and highs and lows you're constantly getting knocked down again a lot of home depot shopping from that tool box brother yeah and I think the real gift that's built into this whole thing is how you reframe vulnerability like we tend to think of vulnerability as a weakness or you know somebody who's soft and and you embody it in a completely different structure to show people that it is it is strength like if you want to be hard and you want to be strong vulnerability and open-mindedness are the keys to that Kingdom as you said it perfectly they're the one thing that made me who I am today is being vulnerable it's breaking myself down to the absolute rock bottom and being able to tell people who I am and that's how I fixed it literally you know looks at my in the eyes you know what man I have a whole bunch of character problems character flaws I've lied about this I've cheated here I'm insecure here this isn't the real me I lied to you about that I wanted your acceptance in life all those things happen but the thing about is that we get judged so quickly about who we are we don't know we don't go to the to where it happened you know life created this person me life life created me to be this [ __ ] up person that was back in the day and I had to realize man that's okay man it's not my fault now I can go back and fix this [ __ ] though mm-hmm so a lot of this isn't your fault while you do some things you do while you feel the way you feel but no one's coming back to save your ass you have to go back to where this [ __ ] start it wherever that place is for everybody and have the courage to go back there and start fixing what broke you mm-hmm and that's and that's why I was like hey I'm [ __ ] up I will go back and fix this stuff you got to be honest with yourself I was it percent where you're at I was a percent on like that oh is ugly yeah it was funny about is that as you're trying to fix yourself and dig yourself out of this deep hole that life Society and you helped you helped also those people who you saw down there in that hole who are there with you who your friends and people who you counted on because you the people in the same situation that you're in in life those people becomes your friends and second you try to get out of that situation become better those people are in that in that grave and that dozen is yanking at your heels man say go get no come on back here [ __ ] yeah you make it make me feel like [ __ ] right you getting out of this hole who the [ __ ] do you think you are so I get it all the time now people would constantly remind me of who I used to be back in the day and they always come out of the Woodworks man versus man still happening you know what when you come from a small small town and you come from place that a lot of people don't want to come out of it and get out of it and all you want to do is become somebody when you have the small town mentality real mentality you've got to be able to get out and let your mind see open-mindedness because a small town what it does to you is it closes your mind completely closed your mind not everybody this isn't everybody a lot of people you have to be able to go out there and create open mindedness you need space you need space to see the world like a lot of racism a lot of a lot of ignorance in the world it comes from people not being out and seeing other things seeing other people seeing all kind of [ __ ] but that's what we judged so harshly because our minds are so closed to the reality of of life period have you been back to Brazil I went back to Brazil a couple of times and I have nothing wrong with Brazil because once again you can't with another thing about growth is you can't hold on Hey mm you can't want to hate and see once you take a different step so I didn't take a step out of my life because like what you're not once you're in that hell that's all you see is what's in front of you when I stepped out of it I saw Brazil very differently there were a lot of great people in Brazil some the best people I knew were from Brazil but when you're in hell all you see is a little patch in front of you of the kids that are calling you [ __ ] other people that spray-painted [ __ ] we're gonna kill you on your car people put that [ __ ] in your locker people put a [ __ ] on your on your notebook in Spanish class that's all you see you didn't see that my god a lot of people [ __ ] like me here so once you take a step back and see the reality of the true ignorance that you're dealing with from a small group of people that you get growth because you know I went through a phrase in the book I talk about man I was all about you know I was all about black and only black when I was a junior in high school college so beat down I was the most ignorant I've ever been in my [ __ ] life when I went there I totally took everything all the hurt all the pain this put it in one [ __ ] filter I gotta find people who look just like me it just like me to find acceptance that one you were doing the crazy haircuts that's the crazy watch the Malcolm X video every damn night now at home is [ __ ] yeah so the last time you were here we kind of recap your your story chronologically and I don't want to I don't want to spend a lot of time on that but there's a lot of new people listening so I think it's worthwhile to kind of you know catch people up on exactly who is David Goggins and and you know where you were where you were where you came from what you endured and how you arrived at this place is there a way to do that concisely I can do it pretty quick I guess you know I was born in Buffalo my dad was uh almost getting drinks on bars and he was a very insecure guy he was an alcoholic he used to get women for favors so my dad I'm not seen as a pimp I always he's a pimp that's how I look at it my mom said the proper way to say this is that your dad used to get women and he would exchange women for favors so there you go that's pretty much refused a pimp right he's a [ __ ] pimp so basically um that's that's my dad he was he was a guy that didn't care much about anything but himself but he was kind of a baller all right new OJ Simpson big-time knew all the Buffalo Bills him and Rick James her best friend's mom so he had two different-sized it was decided everybody saw which was the side of its major - so damn cool man he's awesome and we lived on Paradise Road the second that door was shut in that house it was game on the real him would come out it was a perfect Jekyll and Hyde so when you're born into that at a young kids and like you're getting beat for no reason you know like you know I'm not weapons or weapons man but this guy would beat you for no reason just because he was drugs because he saw you do whatever it's like kind of like an IKE turner character I turn it probably on on steroids right so that that's we was and he was he was a perfect person for psychological warfare the the beatings were horrible but the mind torture was the worst he got so deep in my head as a young kid and that really [ __ ] up your foundation you know when when you're born man there's some there's some sensitive years in there man where your brain starts to develop and it starts to give you self-esteem courage confidence all those things and my dad was stripping that away from everybody and when you see your mom the worst thing to do is when you see your mom getting beat senseless at a young kid that [ __ ] scars you permanently I mean she was like a prisoner she's the best time and what you guys had to do to escape and get away from him is like insane so she was 19 when she went there and she was an innocent 19 year old and she came from a great family and she met this man and totally just um it just it was it was brutal it was it was very sadistic the way the way she was tortured by him in the way my brother myself were and that year and that broke me my brother up my brother loved my father a lot he saw something very different than I saw cousin Aaron my mom and I would get beat my brother I'm not calling him a coward by any means he handled it very different than I did he would go in his room he didn't want to see the beatings I would protect my mother so in that I saw a lot more the violence I was trying to protect her in me trying to protect her I really got beat mm-hmm so when you're constantly in that battle and that struggle and your brother's going in a different room because he didn't want any part of this [ __ ] he hated it and he loved family you know he loved his family and I became the person like a man I'm not about it and you had to shoulder the responsibility this this idea within you that you were responsible for making sure that your mom would be safe and that was hard for it you're okay because we moved to that small town of Brazil Janna I hadn't learned this ability I was stuttering I was battling so much [ __ ] that I'd never even told my mom about because I because she was battling her own demons so at eight years old I'm looking for comfort I'm like hey don't bother your mama's [ __ ] you another man in the house and I also become real protective of my mother at a young age so I said whatever you're going through man you're on your [ __ ] home you're not gonna not gonna tell your mom [ __ ] and she didn't find out later through the school systems and through me failing in through me you know all these issues I went through she found out a lot but you know I kept as my self gift from her man and that really was a hard task for me to to raise yourself mentally when you're already in the deepest darkest dungeon of all time and I think that's where I started really creating myself I had to really start creating a certain pattern a certain process a certain kind of indestructible toolbox to handle my life well you were on this trajectory to nowhere pretty quick but the the kind of inciting incident that starts to shift your trajectory is is this Air Force guy that comes in your life right like you developing this obsession with the military right and then you meet this dude who survived that parachuting right nuts matter shooting gone very wrong and I become obsessed with this guy and that in I mean correct me if I'm wrong but that seems like the first sort of glimmer of hope that you might find your way and it different and it different you know so now like I talked about a lot it was it started off with the rocky Rambo movies right so it was kinda like my father it's not coming up but then my fine met this got him Scott Guerin this guy that felt you know hit a parachute accident a guy crashed through his parachute and he fell 13,000 feet pretty much to his death because his his parachute collapsed and he was you know he felt 120 miles an hour to the ground I mean in picture in the book it's disgusting right and so he hit the ground and I met him a couple years later at this see a piece of Air Patrol camp and I'm sitting there and no kid was like amazed by him you know I was like okay this is a great story I'm a kid let's go I'm sinner he comes out and I was amazed by Rambo like at a you know I got a oh my god this is the real RAM he came out he had you know he got his throat cut open did you know to open up his airway so so I saw he got traked and I saw all these different things like my gun he came out talking all like Clint Eastwood shared a story is all hardcore and I started following this guy but he know I've fallen so for a week long he did push-ups and flutter kicks and I was like man that is too real Rambo why do you think it connected with you and not with the other kids like what was it inside of you that was you know obviously searching for somebody like that I was looking for strength my entire life I was I didn't have any I was a I was a really weak kid my dad beat the living [ __ ] out of me and took every I was strong as a young kid but me protecting my mom for so many years in that house my dad made me very afraid because he beat the [ __ ] out of me every time without mmm so in that I want every man wants courage every man was strength at least this one does so I found it in every way possible if I would see a strong guys like okay maybe he could teach me so he didn't know anything about me so time went on I left school you know oh and then this guy was in my mind we had zero money man like we at one time within the $7 month place government subsidized apartments not reliving like a torrent our place tonight yeah at this time I searched I went on a $500 phone bill and back then dude and having no money my mom wanted to kill me I was in search of Scott Garrett yeah no Google no good I don't know there's a randomly calling up Basin Air Force bases man calling Air Force bases man hey do you know what Scott guarantee me I'm like who's Scott gear I'm like he's a pair of rescue me what because you know parents mean they know there's not a lot of them so I started getting okay there's a PJ base here a pair rescue base here so I started tracking down pair rescue bases finally Key West Florida he's a scuba instructor down there Key West Florida I leave a like a message he calls back he gets ahold of my mom I'm like I cannot believe this guy call me back my first question to him was hey man can I come stay with you for a week he's like who the [ __ ] are you man he knows the [ __ ] it was the guy let me come stay with him for a week and that was you were senior in high school I was a I was a junior in high school it was in my junior year pretty much it's pretty amazing that he that he was open to that he was open to it I think he said about four words to me in the entire week we we PT together and I need to hear a word from him he you know he didn't talk a lot he was an instructor I would I would go to school or to scuba school with him he would instruct I sit on the couch for 10 hours sit in the lounge on the [ __ ] couch for 10 hours he come back pick me up we go for a run you go home we ate fish every [ __ ] day could we had to go out in the ocean I don't you know like that guy go lobster hunting I hate the [ __ ] water I'm scared to death but this guy went in so I'm going in and I left there was just one big thing that's what I want to be hmm I want to be a guy like that yeah this this desire within you to find like a strong positive male you know role model right life I was looking hard man yeah but it wasn't easy getting into getting you know following that path for you know it was a it was a hardest thing within my life being a peer rescue man trying to be a peer rescue man there was a lot of things I don't know about and not having a mentor and I haven't you know Scott was there he really wasn't you know I met him for a week I saw maybe a couple times and I started bucking the [ __ ] off him he was a busy guy had a family so I was back on my own and I did the best I could and trying to be a pair risk and I finally passed the ASVAB test after you know taking it several times and you know when you cheat your whole life in high school in elementary school had about fourth grade reading level so I talk about that a lot in the book and I had to learn so much school in six months and that's when I really developed my work ethic people think it's from running and everything no it's not from seals not from running it was from the countless hours teaching myself how to [ __ ] read and write you know we you know I had a tutor for one hour one hour every single week is all we could afford so for six months I saw a two to one hour a week all the rest was on me my mom was working three jobs she was never home I said there's a [ __ ] table I'm like I have to get in the military that became mine so this is the whole book is really about mindset oh the whole game and I and I would agree that people look at you they want to talk about bad water and all these races that you've done you know eight 100 milers and eight weeks and all this insanity right but really this is all a product of hardening your mind calcining your mind to use your phrase and throughout the book what what really you know makes it stand out is that there are lessons throughout like this is a book in which it would be easy to think that david Goggins is the hero but the reader is the hero which is why you made this decision that's what we're talking about earlier to have Adam read it because you wanted the reader to see themselves in this own journey and you have these chapters or after every chapter you have these challenges and takeaways for for people to you know use to change their own mindset but even woven into the narrative you're breaking away from the story to say look this is what you got to do this is what I did this is how you do it right and the first one of these really is the accountability mirror right which still use but what I didn't realize was that you developed that when you were like a junior in high school you started doing that yeah but it's not like oh I did the accountability mirror and then everything started working out for me no I was like it was a it was a fix at all no it was just it was a starting point to start holding myself accountable and how that came to be man my mom got a letter from school and this is when I had to reveal myself and all my secrets the the secret came out man I wasn't going to school that I had I had flunked most of my classes I had my report card in there for everybody to see one of them and it was reveals enough than that yeah it was not your pro taught thanks a lot Richard preciate it so yeah you put it in there I put it in there maybe he'll talk about it right now um it was uh it was it yes and very very embarrassed report card and she was like what is this and this was like she didn't see any report cards in my life and at this time she was frustrated not with me well you and dr. that other report card right how doctors so much crap but she didn't really see that one huh but I dotted all my report cards and did some had to reveal myself and she was like you know what man you you're gonna flunk out no that was a conversation no mic hey we gotta do some [ __ ] you know you gotta fail she had her own demons her own problems that's why I went to the into the bathroom and I was like my god do you like this is a harsh reality your mom is like you're done mm-hmm how about you are on your own and the ass fat was really the first real challenge where you tried to show up for something a hundred percent right that was my first quarto and and what I love about the book is you know there's the grand huge challenges and accomplishments but what I find most inspiring are just the small little things like these little details like when you're when you've left that test and then you're in the car and then you go back in yes it's like things like that that really touched me that was my that was actually trying to be navy snow as the day I was a different test right yeah so that was a that was a very emotional moment for me and I'm actually there right now in my head talking to you I remember that moment like it was yesterday my I was a fat guy trying to be a Navy SEAL now and my life had come to this crossroad so I'm like man you have to go right and no one was going right everybody was going let them let you have to go right and to know that pain and suffering I was about to endure by going right the amount of accountability and failure I'll get the witness and suffer by myself alone on this journey it was daunting so when I finally got to the ASVAB test and I was taking for my very last time to get into the SEAL Teams or to try to even try out they were supposed to tell me my score and I went back out to my car that took I was on some computer tests and I know I used computer I was wigging out about that [ __ ] because the first time I took it was like something like notebook we opened a scantron sheet and you bubble it in with a number-two pencil and [ __ ] you turn in I saw a computer and I was like oh [ __ ] with this [ __ ] with it oh my god like it's on the computer so I wigged out there and I had to get a 50 on mechanical comprehension and I just like the third time you taking the test right this is my second time so I took it three times for the Air Force and twice for the neighborhood so this is my second time for the Navy and they're like hey this is it man you know you're done you're too old you have a limited amount of time to lose 106 pounds and you take his ass Bab again there's so many things that's crunched down my head and so when I took the test I knew I had a good enough score to get in the Navy but to be a seal had to score high on mechanical comprehension of 50 so the first time I got a 44 on mechanical comprehension so I'm sitting there and I take the test and I hit Send sentiment is out in outer space somewhere and but I knew it popped up at the administrators desk and he's not supposed to tell me [ __ ] he tells you sit down take your test and you leave I walked out got my car or I was walking around the car whatever doesn't I got going to find out man so I went in I literally sat there everybody's taking their test now I'm begging this guy he's tell me I can't tell you [ __ ] it's against government is guess rules everything he opened it up it was okay man he said you got a 65 I said no man I know I got him a chemical comprehension and he scroll the page down it was exactly a 50 and I literally like what came through my body cuz it's easy to talk about now to you but no one knew at the time and energy I put into getting that 50 right it was pretty amazing yeah I mean what is that what did that represent for you like the opportunity for a new life to finally it was in an opportunity for a new life but the thing about it is I'm trying to be a Navy SEAL at this time I'm still tours and some of my pounds they have more weight to lose so think about this I put everything on David Goggins to be a Navy SEAL it's like going to the crap table with with your last thousand dollars you say no what I'm gonna put everything on this [ __ ] mile on black and hopefully I live now I'm broke I put my whole life a guy that was scared the [ __ ] water a guy that could [ __ ] tongs I've had a reader right on being one of the hardest [ __ ] on the plat think about that [ __ ] a guy that came from nothing I put my whole life and I'm gonna go out here and put everything on David [ __ ] guys to be a Navy SEAL not to go be a [ __ ] you know Boy Scout or some [ __ ] Navy SEAL and III look at that and I did all this [ __ ] just to get the opportunity to succeed that's what that's what people don't [ __ ] understand man if people see that the end result I remember that guy say my god man I can't believe what the [ __ ] I've just done I put everything ruin relationships ruin this ruin that put everything on fact I have to become someone in this world or I'm no good for anybody weird and where does that come from that where did that compulsion that drive it comes from a disgusting place of not being fulfilled in your life of afraid of dying having never accomplished anything that's the fear that some people run away from that people don't want to face when you have a real fear of dying and being just another person that I live to pay the bills I made a thousand dollars a month this is my life I spray for cockroaches man if if that makes you feel good that's great it didn't make me feel good I wanted to the first time my life after 26 years as 24 25 wherever I was I wanted to feel good about myself and that was that was a ticket yeah I mean you have this huge reservoir this capacity to leverage pain and circumstance to drive change within yourself right to be able to not be a victim but to look at pain as your friend as a catalyst for growth and I think there's a lot of people out there look if you're in a enough pain that's gonna move the needle for you there's a lot of people out there that are in just enough pain where they're willing to just settle for what they have because they're not in enough pain to change and the fear of change outweighs the pain of their daily existence you know the one gift I have with all that being said what you just said there is I have the ability to see the end before the beginning even begins and what that means is I know that to get to the very end I can see it right now so before with the buds and I lose all [ __ ] away I saw myself walking across the [ __ ] stage at 191 [ __ ] pounds guys I had to get to get into the door I saw myself six months a year later whatever's gonna take me to do I saw myself walking across that stage getting that [ __ ] certificate of graduation from buds and I was able to be there at 300 [ __ ] pounds and that feeling that I was nowhere near that [ __ ] feeling I was able to put myself there a million times every [ __ ] day and that feeling of like my god that is gonna feel [ __ ] amazing that's what made me suffer that's what allowed the pain to be realistic this is worth it I want to feel for this [ __ ] next 18 months every 18 [ __ ] months to find becoming a v6 if I maybe you know just get through but 18 months six months took me 18 that's what woke me up every [ __ ] morning was I'm gonna put myself through this much [ __ ] pain and suffering for a few seconds so it is a few seconds of joy it's so [ __ ] worth it man and so people don't get so I'm able to put myself at the finish line you know I have no finish line but at the finish line of an event before I even start the [ __ ] to say how are you gonna fill it into this well visualization is one of the challenges and part of that is not just visualizing success or living in the reality of achieving what you're setting out to achieve but also visualizing how you're going to navigate all the obstacles that are gonna get thrown in your path right visualizing this is my biggest tool of life that's why I've been able to put myself in Coldwater put myself in a hundred mile race millions of times before I've done it and I'm able to go through the race and see I'm gonna feel at Mile 50 almost to the almost to the exact Zac feeling right so when it comes up it's no surprise no surprise I've already done this in many times and that's the one thing I practice in practice and practice and practice overnight but also the most important thing is I practiced that feeling of accomplishment I'm gonna have my sauce and done with the crazy thing about the ass fast is that in addition to having to pass this test and get that 50 you also had to lose a hundred pounds and like what like 30 days or some creature it was less than three months right okay three months so but you compartmentalize these two tasks and say look the first thing I got to do is I got to pass this test right because the weight doesn't matter if I don't get that 50 and you shelves or put off losing the weight to focus on the academic end of it until you you know completed that hurdle and then you looked at the weight stuff I'm like that now that I've done yeah it's like being focused on one thing at a time I have to be very present in everything I do like right now I'm with which role I'm not thinking about [ __ ] but rich role and with the fuss coming out of your mouth right now that's what that's what gives me a huge advantage in life especially today in this day and age with so much [ __ ] going so fast and everybody wants to keep everything going everything up and everything I want to be the grace you know the greatest multitask of all time not me if I put my hundred percent into what's in front of me I will destroy it if I'm out here just multitasking this [ __ ] I'm gonna half-ass everything I do so that's it is the most important thing the world of me is being focused at the task at hand and it's getting harder and harder to do that because there are so many distractions and it's so easily - it's so easy to distract yourself yes you don't ever have to be bored again with these things in our pockets no but the one thing I'm most scared of in the world is losing losing touch with the the best thing in the world is is your mind your mindset how you can picture yourself how you can focus how you can drive how you can put yourself in so many situations get out of it because those headphones were listening to those those phones that that we googled to find information there's so many situations in my life where that's just not gonna help me it's not gonna help me and you're able to just turn that off so fast because I know please help me none of that stuff is ever help me mm-hmm none that stuff Sarah helped me would has helped me has been me alone getting my [ __ ] together and being accountable for who I'm not and who I want to be stolen has helped me so you get in you you get the opportunity to become a Navy Seal and then you end up going through buds three times it's like yeah Merry Christmas got lucky man unbelievable and the stories of what that entailed are like so vivid man unbelievable well I was uh I was very fortunate to go through three times and not in this a distich way in a life changing growing way I found out so much about myself through going through that training three times and I went through the hardest part of the training three times you know after the first so first phase is a crucible man and that's where I was at for three times I spent most of my time and buds in first phase and the hell week in the hell weeks and being in that grind and in that grind I got time to examine myself I caught the live autopsy and also examine other people because I was really good about putting people way above me because I was I wasn't [ __ ] I was never nobody so for me to be on the same stage as these great wannabe Navy SEALs and bus train like my god you guys are amazing I actually got here with you all thank you so much for allowing me into play but as I was there for so long I got a really good chance to sit back cuz now the cold waters its water now it smaller code anymore your mind starts to change they said get in the water most people think about it for you it became my life so I started learning that if you try to change your mindset versus it being like oh my god this sucks I became a professional blood student so I wasn't gonna leave until I graduated so I started realizing if this is my home this is what I am I had to always reset the bar I had to reset my new norm there always had to be a new norm so one thing we don't do is we don't have a new norm my new norm is you get up every [ __ ] morning at 4 o'clock and you suffer this is your new norm that became my new [ __ ] life most people want to get out of it I said no I [ __ ] this is your new life this is who you are you your new norm is you wake up and you suffer and I started realizing if that's my mentality this should ain't hard anymore your [ __ ] new normals you wake up you're getting the [ __ ] cold water you get a beer - the shit's [ __ ] done whenever they say you're out you get out so my new norm so I I do that now today my new norm now is if I'm doing a toys in my run your new norm now man is you [ __ ] or doing two hundred [ __ ] miles the Roger that mentality that's it man so at what point during this buds experience do the instructors start to take notice of you in a in a way that separates you from the pack there's a SBG or these guys that are like they're starting to go hey man this this this this dudes cut a little bit differently SBG noticed it he noticed it in my second how weak because I really and this is no lie I'm very open about my life spoken about this I really started to enjoy the fact of seeing what the human mind was capable of and seeing that what is so horrendous there's so much joy and glory in this [ __ ] and when you see other alpha males I can you know SBG in the book he's all he was one of the hardest hardest guys in the SEAL Teams he's looking at you like the [ __ ] is wrong with you you know like you know like well they start testing you like they're like let's play this out right and there's that story where he makes you swim Wednesday night and that [ __ ] me up because I like my knee was you know it was broken it was it was [ __ ] up bad it's Wednesday of hell week and all the boat crews have passed the surf zone and I just got a tour it all shot my knee cuz I'm not gonna I'm let's go ma'am we're going and it's [ __ ] like it's real late at night and it was [ __ ] raining and the class has passed the surf zone and I'm still not big fan the [ __ ] of water the ocean is very unforgiving and I had this big life jacket on and SPG's okay follow me man sorry running a mile down to the boat cruise rat I'll pass the surf zone I'm thinking hey we could wait for him to come on in he goes hey man get AK in like you [ __ ] him like put on my hat and said go out and [ __ ] get him and I was on my own there was no like there like swim buddies like it so I can buzz you for swim buddy yeah and when he said that to me I said are you in my mom see this [ __ ] is joking he's got me Joe commit it's what he must have been thinking like I'm gonna break this guy like this is gonna be the moment I think that's what it was but but we're now we're you know we're pretty tight now and he said now that wasn't at all he said you one of the only people in my tenure act as a buds instructor that were ever done that with he said I knew a person like you would have found this a challenge and I had to dig deep because I didn't look at him and say hey man I'm not doing that [ __ ] even though I think I could it because there's no swim buddy you know you don't go out there Wednesday night after like 80 hours of hell week and you're like seeing stars and [ __ ] like I'm like I'm during the day time you see him boasting are out there I'm here to loosen it all over the place he sent me out there I was like okay this is my time to show him the best [ __ ] in the world that it's on so I got my [ __ ] man I went out there and did it and it was a it was a iid tell it well on the book but it was a it was a moment that I started realizing I'm starting to separate myself now yeah so there's two kind of themes that emerge from that one is this idea of taking souls all right this this this sense that hey I came from nothing and I'm here amongst the best and then starting to realize like hey these people are human right how can I get my tactical advantage right and you explore this idea of taking souls which which essentially is going places no one else is willing to go track with their heads I see right yet to get like the upper hand on that on everybody else when you grow up weak and you start to master your mind because my whole thing is whenever I'm whenever I'm weakest something wherever I'm scared of something I master it I was a weak mom you know a weak-minded person so I mastered my mind and it mastered in my mind I mastered the human mind and I realized why I'm no longer just people why I don't like to put people in a pedestal cuz we're all [ __ ] up around way we all have demons some people hide them better than other people so I know we all have them but I mean knowing that under the most alpha males are very fragile very fragile they never want to see another person harder than them especially in that coming round you go attach the Eagle altar is strong Eagle will [ __ ] you up every time ego is serious so if I can hurt your ego I got you so by me having such a fragile ego growing up all this was my event I was doing a live autopsy on how [ __ ] up I was I was like hey this [ __ ] me up I bet it [ __ ] other people up too so I started using all these different tools and tactics to get in the structures heads and taking souls that's what happened man we were Wednesday freezing [ __ ] cold everybody's jackhammer and everybody's everybody wants to you know everybody's just want to get through it now jackhammer ins when you just can't stop [ __ ] you can't stop shivering you know you're sitting there this uncontrol be jackhammering and the instructors take great pride in watching you suffer they do we're you know in in a sick way it's kind of funny you know you know you were there once as a student now your instructor but I knew how would I be thinking if I was in this truck I would love seeing this sadistic [ __ ] go on but what went out what wouldn't I like to see I would hate to see some guys just looking like this is just another [ __ ] day on the [ __ ] beach and go [ __ ] yourself I would hate to see that so as I don't want to think like that when they did it they were harder they were harder yeah everybody's hoarse I see know what man it's time you all I can't fight you you guys can [ __ ] me up all day long that's your job and I love your job I love what you guys are doing you guys making us better but now I want to take the tactical advantage I'm gonna start [ __ ] with you so I got my boat crew Bill Brown I had Chris Kyle on my boat crew American sniper had a couple of hardcore [ __ ] and everybody right now is kind of like in their own world let's just get through this man I can't wait til Friday so we can graduate how we can get going I said let's go ahead and have some fun I said we're gonna start [ __ ] with these guys so the evolution here was we Scott dude with Matt check you know we're stripped down to nothing and they're checking us out making sure we're good you know check in front of Mon you're checking for [ __ ] up knees my knees all jacked up but they give me shots and [ __ ] and I was like the boat crew leader of boat crew tuned so I'm gonna front the boat and I tell our guys this we're going to do the boat like on our heads salt was we're supposed to lift the boats up above her head sorry God dude but when your this week in this fragile this tired their boats heavy so there's a thing you can do when you do boat presses so you can get the boat like this toss it up toss it up and catch it and that shows like you're jacked up so everybody's holding the boat and they're shaking and both starting to come down their head and all the boat crews are all lined up and they're [ __ ] up and I'm looking at that and I turn around my book I said guys it's time to [ __ ] take some Souls anybody what the [ __ ] you talking about I said she always [ __ ] instructors out here on their [ __ ] jackets and freakin coffee and laughing a smile and [ __ ] I want their [ __ ] faces to go straight up [ __ ] numb so we're gonna do this we're gonna start boat pressing this [ __ ] just take my leaf trust me you'll get energy from it we start throwing this boat up in the [ __ ] air cache the toilet for kiss and without yelling can't her [ __ ] boat crew - we're yelling our [ __ ] ass off and we doing it and they make a stop like what the [ __ ] let me stop I look at these instructors and their faces literally look like someone like just like took their sold-out Cod no other mines were like they were thinking about themselves like what the [ __ ] just happy man I know me almost I could've done that how they doing it so the rest of time going through hell week it was like we just you know we owned it right boat crew - we won every single race we were just dominating and it was uh it was a strong boat crew and that's we're taking Souls is uh there's a few taking soil stories but that's one of them yeah and and part of that is learning how to be a leader like when you're dealing with these alpha males and these huge egos there's this tendency to just try to outshine the next guy right you tell an example there's another guy who kind of proceeds along that path right and he realizes very quickly that he's not gonna make it because he doesn't know how to build camaraderie with the other guys right right talk about mr. Dobbs he's a good friend of mine still to this day and he went into that place man and I knew where he was going isn't my throat hell week and I knew Sean real well but I knew he was real arrogant he had a serious shipowners so like I do I still do I got that controlled every now and then it got me in a lot of trouble sometimes but I knew he had it I knew that chip on your shirt not being controlled it will it will get you [ __ ] up and it cost him a lot going through buds and I saw the look I saw the look because I once had to look and I was going through prayer rescue school and something got so hard and your mind can't process the hardness you don't know the the the the right tools to get through something hard because you've never been challenged before I could tell he was a superhuman that nothing ever challenged them but I knew because I'd been through hell week a couple of times I knew [ __ ] don't don't underestimate that [ __ ] it will it will find a [ __ ] demon and will bring out some insecurities in you and it did and I it was like maybe 30 hours in the hell week or something like that I'm looking over at him and I smiled at him we're we're standing just like this in line and he's getting his med check and doctors looking at him and talked it happened just to be beautiful timing and I'm sitting there I'm getting meth checked and I'm looking at him and his eye says he's a thousand-yard still looking right through me he's getting mad checked and I'm looking at him and before this happened I told him I said don't underestimate this [ __ ] man he was I can't ever see myself quitting [ __ ] Goggins I go watch out I go watch out I got this [ __ ] we'll get in your head I go the end is a long way away so we're sitting there I - I and he didn't see me I'm right in front of him and I could tell you thinking he has that quitting mind starting up now look at him I go I told you [ __ ] I told you [ __ ] and next thing I knew man a car pulls up and he he rolled out rings a bell he rings to Bill any quits but uh it was he's a great human being hard [ __ ] it it doesn't make you you know when you quit something like that man it's a huge lesson learned that I can't go into anything thinking that there's nothing that's not going to get in my way you gotta be prepared for all those obstacles right well on this theme of the reader being the hero here like what is the what is the takeaway on stealing Souls thing because that's that's one of the challenges well there's tons of takeaways with that one man it's about finding energy and strength when you have none like a lot of times in life like that situation right there man it's the worst time of your life there's energy all around us that we think that we have to have asked to come externally a lot of times we have like a TV in front of us watch somebody listen to a podcast listen to a great music a lot of times in life is [ __ ] quiet and those are the times when you want to run and hide you got to be able to find energy you got to make up games makeup tricks makeup whatever you can to get to the next evolution of life so taking souls is just another way it's not about hurting the person you're against it's about finding the tactical advantage in every situation you [ __ ] physically can to get to the next you're trying to inch further to the goal line and you don't want to what is that goal line the goal lines whatever it is for you for me I want to get through hell week now I won't get the help with a you know with my head up high being strong I don't know what the goal is for everybody my goal has been very different for most people but you're trying to find energy and strength to stay in the fight to continue on until you get that second wind the second win is coming whenever the second win maybe for you it's coming but what happens is we get so stressed out that the end is so far away that we just can't find another foothold another handhold so we jump off the cliff from each fall there's another one you got to find it so taking soil is one way to do it hmm well as you as you progress through this this journey that you're on and you're winning these victories along the way this idea kind of comes comes upon you which is this drive to be uncommon amongst the uncommon right you you mentioned about a few moments earlier that you started distancing yourself even from the seals themselves like okay I've done this I've distinguished myself amongst these guys like now what's the next challenge how can I push myself harder like who who you know what are the other circumstances I can put myself in to be the hardest [ __ ] on planet Earth which was kind of the driving impulse Ryder needs all of this right right so elaborate on that a little bit so for me that's why I want to become a Navy SEAL I wanted people to push me outside of my comfort zone every day you know and I thought this was gonna be the absolute best platform to do that these guys the stories I heard after buds it just gets harder and I didn't see it that way because buds is just to become the sea that's right like my god I can't imagine what the [ __ ] gonna happen but what happens to a lot of people not everybody can't speak figure out not everybody buds breaks people down to the point where you don't want to be broken down again like that to me that was exactly the exact starting point for my journey in life that was a starting point for me for a lot of people it's the finish line and I didn't see it that way for me so that's where I started becoming uncommon among common people is where I started realizing that you put people in a pedestal that you shouldn't that you you got to get in there yourself and examine people serious really about yourself so once I got in there real I say these are this normal people yeah there are a lot better than some they're able to get to I know a lot of people who get through Navy SEAL training but you know there's a lot of mystique behind behind all that stuff and as you talk to go through and you start to break it open a little bit you know a lot of horror guys but you know I want it more I want it more and this this is your strength in certain respects it's a superpower that you have but it's also your Achilles heel big time big time I talk about in the book a lot - one thing that hurt me a lot was I thought everybody weren't the same thing I wanted and everybody wants the same thing you [ __ ] won everybody wants to give it four o'clock in the morning and beat herself and find more about themselves and she liked that and I thought the seals did well through it oh yeah yeah I thought the seal was death but that's what you know because every book you read that's what that's what everybody does so I always hook line and sinker so that mentality that I had it kind of put a bad taste off you know once I realized it not everybody was like this in the community and I was like you know what man so then I started having chips on my shoulder I had my own little thing I was doing with a couple guys working out i mon Dieu mon little thing and when you start doing that stuff and you start to drive yourself away from people you know and I was already different as it was you know even if I didn't do that I already came in being very different like I tell people I was a part of the Navy SEAL Teams I wonder part of the Brotherhood right it's not going out and partying I'm not going out no that's not me I've never been me though like if I was in the college if I wasn't a Bigfoot I couldn't be part of a fraternity man I would never join a fraternity ever I'm like a [ __ ] you all Matt got my own [ __ ] going on over here man go [ __ ] yourself that's me I don't like fraternities so just me when you join the SEAL Teams you're joining a big fraternity so I was already asked out so then when you're asked out not wanting to hang out I wasn't a dick I do [ __ ] that's me so I I grew up wanting friends at a young age and once you get self-esteem is so you know who you are I was comfortable you don't liking me but I'm not hanging out and they need to get to another step further with this being hard mentality of if you guys aren't doing what I'm doing you guys aren't [ __ ] so I did a lot of things that push people the wrong way that rub people the wrong way and in that we're being in the fraternity it's like a big soap opera it's like the [ __ ] guiding light and you know people start not liking you for certain reasons people know who the [ __ ] you are rumor mills start happening then I have two heart surgeries people think I don't want to [ __ ] deploy overseas well gah girls don't want to fight he wants to run but I'm not gonna say a two heart surgeries I couldn't even go fight so this a lot of things happened and within that it's life yeah so it ultimately that hurt your military career it didn't hurt it didn't no meet me looking back on it it I was who I wanted to be I was who I wanted to be so hurting it I don't think hurting it is being an Air Force what do you see as being a ranger you know my goals were finding the baddest me on the planet working with the baddest guys on the planet and the heart surgery's hurt me a little bit but what I realized is I've got a lot of growth from examining people you know my my insecurities their insecurities my military career was absolutely stellar you know not many people have pulled off honor man everywhere I went and done the things I've done I didn't deploy as much as I wanted to yeah I went to Iraq stuff like that but I wanted to play a lot more with with the heart services keeping out of training for four years that hurt me a lot but all in all there's not many people who've done some of the things I've done right so not satisfied with just being in the Navy SEALs you decide you want to go to Army Ranger School yes sir and you go and do that yeah and you distinguish yourself there so you know when the dust settles you've done Air Force what does it call the tak tak PE air control party uh Navy SEALs buds and then and then Army Ranger Ranger Delta selection twice right exactly so what how did that play out ultimately so it does selection I went the first time when I was it so with both time as a Navy SEAL which is very found upon because we have our own little group there yeah you know DEVGRU so how that even came to be was after my second platoon where me and my guys didn't get along you know we had a great deployment but we can't get along bottom line once again it's how life is when you come back in a fraternity like that rumor mill flat you know goes around and maybe Goggins has a badass who don't work with him whatever whatever so I didn't get my orders to go to dev group I actually screamed for DEVGRU didn't get picked up or I got picked up to go to the screening process I pass the screening process was going to Green Team a lot of these [ __ ] things than we knows about but anyway I didn't get my orders to go to dev group so I said you know what it's a good time to go try out for deputy prefer for Delta Force so I went there got messed up you know I fell down a mountain my lady trapped in Mountain or in some rocks broke my ankle mathematical real bad then I had the heart surgeries then I went back to Delta and I was getting ready to get to the very last day and what happened there was I was getting real happy I'm gonna be a delta guy this is the [ __ ] I can't believe I'm back in the game and once you let your mind get unfocused you get lost out in the woods and out there going through Delta selection it's a lot of land navigation and if you're not paying attention to that map and compass and it was my last day before the 40 mile er and the 40 mile I was like a big the big last thing you do and I was gonna [ __ ] that 40 mile or up right but I was your game that's my game man and very one thing you're gonna be a man now you put you know you put weight on my back and go man I won't hurt you and I got literally I was about two hours ahead of time and I was just going through thinking man I'm [ __ ] done I made this [ __ ] I'm gonna go back in it doing my [ __ ] I'm going back out the fight man we know with an elite group a Tier one asset I was so stoked my mind got drifting away and I got lost and I found myself lost I got a reorient you know I got [ __ ] back on track and I went to I thought my last point was I saw another student I said hey man we only got five points there's no money we got six and I was like 45 minutes from drop dead and I made it by one minute you make about one minute after making it about two hours every day I was getting there two hours early every day I don't know what the standard is at Delta they don't tell you [ __ ] and there's two vehicles you get into man one vehicle goes to another campground meaning you're still here and the other vehicle goes uh goes to some speed bumps back to your racks and you're getting a [ __ ] airplane I went that vehicle yeah that was it how many soldiers are there though that have gone through all of those programs I can say honestly I'm the only one you're the only one for a hundred percent fact I know for a fact for a fact and I haven't googled it looked at I know there's nobody in the world who's willing to say let me scream for delta force twice let me go to Army Ranger school as a Navy SEAL let me go to Navy SEAL let me go be in three whole weeks let me go to Air Force so my military career was phenomenal there's uh there's a classic quote look I think it's as I recall I think it's when you decided you want to go to Army Ranger School and one of your guys say Goggins you're the kind of guy who would like to be a POWs just to see if you could [ __ ] do it he was my oh I see my I actually still talked him today of my first Platoon I really respect the guy off a lot what's like a pop his name by honors permission right now - he was a great leader because he understood me as a good leader you have to understand everybody that works with you he understood the uniqueness that is me and I'm a very different person you got to have a you got to be a real [ __ ] man to understand David Goggins and I give him a lot of credit for this let me be me and I and you know he went to that into a DEVGRU but he said that before Ranger school cuz I put a chit in a chit is a special request [ __ ] I put seven special request shits in to go to Ranger School as a new guy in in the SEAL Teams it's like why the [ __ ] are you trying to go to Ranger School man as a seal and back then they were sending some Navy SEALs there for punishment you know they send a few there and I was going because I was like begging to go I'm like there's another challenge out there that sucks that people don't want to go to that I can grow from that can see some more on common [ __ ] out there that want to get hard and get after it and I always found out one thing when you're in training that's what you find how people really are I found the best out of people in training that's why I love buzz that's why I love Ranger school because but once you get out training very few people keep that same mentality it's like hey oh thank God I'm done with it that's why I always love going back to scratch mm-hmm yeah and the cool thing about Ranger school is you show up and they strip you of all of everything so you don't know who anybody is Frank is there any of that kind of [ __ ] no there's no right now and they purchase presumed that you must have gotten in trouble right that's the only reason you'd be there right so tell me tell that story about so their words so before I showed up to Ranger school man there were a couple of Navy SEALs got sent there for punishment reasons and a couple of them quit you know like not because it was too hard I imagine probably cuz you don't [ __ ] you I'm not gonna be here for punishment I'm gonna get my ass kicked again with you Navy SEAL training so it just came with the attitude of being there so a couple said I'm out so that gave some of the seals a bad reputation that Ranger school and then I show up I show up and I'm like yeah I want to be here next I was just another guy that got in trouble not knowing that I begged to come here and I beg to get beat on for 69 days and starve and lose 56 pounds like I lost so it's like day three and they have you know an army guy raw strip to rank on this David you know I'm this Goggins and whoever this is just your name I mean you could be a [ __ ] major you could be a general and you're just Thomas that's all the [ __ ] you are I mean they don't care so I'm hiding out I got my little Navy name tag on so they can tell him a navy guy I'm a little Navy hat you know say so you know I'm a Navy guy I stand out and once it's not many black guys in Ranger School so I'm in the back hiding out and they tell the you know they tell the guy come up here you know you know you're the first sergeant in the First Sergeant usually Ranger creed so the guy goes up there and he goes uh he [ __ ] it up and then go hey they look right at me I know for a fact oh we seen him back there where the hell economy doesn't know this [ __ ] I was like [ __ ] I've been studying this range of Cree for a year this what I'm saying in my head I get there man recognizing that volunteer as a ranger foolin has my chosen profession I was never told STIs our hospital arrangement see what you're done I went on it nas in fact there is more at least he's like what the [ __ ] somebody had said the whole [ __ ] range of Creed next thing I knew you say you knew first sergeant that's a [ __ ] now not only am I going through one of the best leadership school if you have to be dialed in all day long when I'm not out in the field getting graded I'm now in garrison having to be in charge of all these [ __ ] guys in Bravo platoon so Bravo Company sounds like guys it was a I was always had to be on the whole time Roger that Roger dad sounds like [ __ ] man I guess I'm in charge now the whole time but I never got fired you know most guys going through that you know you get fired that's what led me to you know getting the the honor man award right one of the things you don't talk a lot about is your deployments mm-hmm you talk about that experience in Malaysia a little bit only briefly in the book so I'm just wondering what the rationale behind like are you not allowed to do you just think that it wasn't relevant to the story we're trying to tell well the thing about it is is uh I deployed I fought in combat stuff like that first of all it's hard to relate to that second of all I to get all kind of [ __ ] approvals from people to get that in the book and talk about it and I want to go through that process of hey can I put you know what I did in Iraq in the book and stuff like that in the book and I want my book to relate to people you know there's enough Navy SEAL books out there talking about you know running gun and shooting them up stuff like that that's never been I don't want to be known as a Navy SEAL you know I talk a lot you know people want to ask me about it you know Navy said that was a snippet of my life you know I was a snippet of my life and I want to be known as somebody much more than that who did a lot more than that so my book is about helping people and I can't help people through well I didn't combat mm-hmm I can help people by what I went through in life life itself and I went out to I mean it was it was intentional to make this book about how can these stories resonate and help people and you know it wasn't like a let me kiss my own ass so that's why I had to go there and do that so it was it was a that's why yeah well there's a you know the cover image of the book is you in military uniform and there are a lot of those other kind of books out there you know Chris Kyle and I know you you you're tight with the luttrell brothers those have been huge books and they become movies and cultural you know very culturally relevant and northing what is that I'm not war hero yeah I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not a war hero man like you know there's a lot of heroes out there and I don't have a great story to tell you about war what is the climate though when you're in the seals and then somebody writes a book like my sense was always that that was kind of frowned upon it is found upon this to a lot of things are frowned upon the SEAL Teams a lot of things are you know that's that's one of them I don't care what you do you know it's your life and I'm not about judging people for that but a lot of a lot of seals don't like anybody going out doing anything like that and I don't know if it's a lot of jealousy or whatever I don't care but it is it is found upon for some people do that but I guarantee you some of those guys if they did some cool [ __ ] you know a lot of us don't do cool [ __ ] yeah a lot of us he cometh not a lot of cool [ __ ] so there really isn't about it's not it's not some vainglorious snow I'm where you're in bad always telling crazy war stories no it's not that at all it have to tell so reader is the hero and and another one of the themes that I want to kind of explore with you is this idea of of being the only right I'm just like a recurring thing in your story right so being the only and I actually talked about with Adam I came up with with the only there's a lot of onlys out there I was the only black in lot of situations and the only in about of color there's a lot of you know there's gays lesbians there's people who are white people who just feel like they're not wanted in society that's the only the only is feeling like you're not accepted in any society that you're in doesn't matter what color creed race gender doesn't matter it's just that you are in this situation where you feel like you're being judged you might be being judged you feel awkward it's an awkward feeling when you walk in a room and you're like oh my god like I'm the only and that comes with a lot of people and that's where the only really came from because I don't want to make like a black situation I want it to be I want this this is about people you are you hero you are the hero of this book so I wanted to be what's a word that can make people feel like this resonates with me that's only you know it's not about it was about black about white or about about being Jewish or Christian or whatever so that's where it comes from man it's about ownership of a lot of people feel like no one understands what the [ __ ] I'm going through right now and that's the only right and that seems to be something that you you use you leverage to to get stronger oh yes the only is a very powerful thing for me and there's a lot of times my life that I chose the only on purpose on purpose just to see how I will come out the other end of it and in the midst of all of that how do I say this for somebody that's listening to this or they're reading your book and they do feel apart from they feel alone perhaps they have that victim mentality right they're just the world's against me I can't catch a break every time I try to do this this happens it's some narrative that they're spinning about their life right like what's the first step out of that well like I've said a million times before the most important conversation is the one you have with yourself you wake up with it you walk around with it you go to bed with it eventually you act on it sometimes you act on it good sometimes bad you got to change the internal dialog that person in your head that's talking that [ __ ] to you until you change the internal dialogue in your head until you callus over the victims mentality that the world is out to get you because of you are the only you got changed that [ __ ] man yeah but you don't understand my life David yeah I do that's the thing about it and that's why I can talk about but yeah I get you're saying a lot of folks don't under I get that mentality I once had that mentality that no one understands what the [ __ ] I'm going through and if you keep that mentality you're gonna stay in the same exact spot that you're in that no one understands me there's a whole there's millions of people why do you think a book that I saw published you know is doing so well with the story that's so [ __ ] up people Ike I'll never forget what I went to a publishing house like who's gonna resonate with this story no one's gonna buy this book I'm like are you not in the world are you not in society you're never alone everybody's going through [ __ ] so when people get this mentality of like you understand me you can throw a [ __ ] rock to someone that can understand you if they're willing to break themselves down and stop hiding a lot of people understand you mm but you got to stop hiding and that's why I tell people a lot of people are going through [ __ ] they just hide better than you did that's all they did it was hiding better yeah it's easy you know it's easy even even after you've accomplished something to not rest on your laurels or take a breath like you're somebody who's constantly constantly moving forward I'd sell it but I think one thing that gets lost in your story is that you are pretty good about celebrating the victories along the way and celebrating yourself I talk about with my fiancee every single day I talked about with her two hours today I said we are [ __ ] grinding so hard that we are losing the vantage point of what we have accomplished today we got podcast podcast interview flying do this do that I like to stop stop it's just me and you and this mom-and-pop thing that we that we're doing look at what the [ __ ] this book is that right now it's crazy look how many people were touching shut shut up and this [ __ ] think for a second that's the stop cuz all we did was talk about this and this really I don't know enjoy this for a second let's we have to take time and rule out what the [ __ ] we've accomplished that's an evolution for you man huge huge different David Goggins and even from a couple years ago huge because you have to where's all about I'm gonna keep on grinding that's not what I'm saying what I'm saying though is you have to respect what you've done take a second not live in it not sit around and say I'm good sit back and say let me look at the vantage point now that I'm at we win that's why you reset the vantage point get the tactical advantage if you get the tactical advantage too quick and start fighting you gotta take a second to take observation that where I'm at what have I done I'm on the right spot I'm obviously in the right spot right now now we can go back to fighting mm-hmm so that's what we're doing right now and how did you how did you arrive at that epiphany because I would imagine there's a different version of you that wouldn't allow yourself to be that indulgent it's called you find peace I never found peace until I got real sick and you find peace by clarity and there's no clarity when there's noise there's always a schedule in front of you to keep grinding at it so my schedule is always there I'm still alive and I'm still alive I'm gonna grind it so I'm dead but in that grinding schedule you have to have a point in there where it's okay at 12 o'clock reset the tactical advantage and look and see where you're at at this new vantage point stop for a second and survey the field because when I was doing well that this big long schedule and in this schedule there was no take up second see what the [ __ ] you've accomplished if I did all that [ __ ] in the military after I got on ER man at Ranger School and I was a top leader amongst 300 people when I got back to that second platoon if I'd taken the vantage point and said okay my god man you've really grown as a leader I would have attacked the situation that 2nd platoon was differently when I was like oh you guys it's [ __ ] you guys are gonna work out this [ __ ] hard you ain't you ain't hard like this I want to learn I want to take a step back it's ok hang on a second man you learned a lot that's the tactical advantage you gotta take that vantage point and take a second to breathe and say you learned a lot but when you learn a lot if you just go back into the fight you never apply what you learn you get that certificate of graduation and go get it remember what you learn and use it and that's about taking that one second out get on top of that mountain top looking down so ok how would I have held this years ago Wow I would really [ __ ] that up this time let's not [ __ ] it up again right so that that occurred not during the heart surgeries but afterwards when your body was broken and you got into the stretching broken yeah it was a big it's like when you go into my gives you a knot and they tie a lot versus a ton of knot to tie a lot and they say hey can you undo this that was the inside of my body mm-hmm but it forced you to stop it made me stop yeah yeah I can no longer because otherwise you wouldn't you wouldn't have stopped I would never realize I realize now no yeah I've been goals isn't bluffing right okay man we got a bench you because you need to reflect the body would do that the body would do that the body will say hey man you've done a good job now we're [ __ ] done and my body said you're done right so you you have the heart surgeries you make this return to ultras ameen dude we've been talking for like an hour and a half we haven't even talked about any adult stuff but you know we talked about that last time man you go out you're crushing it and all these races then you have the heart situation you have two heart surgeries then you're back at it again and then you hit this wall like you you describe this classic overtraining situation where you got back at it and you were training SuperDuper hard and then you showed up and you were just flat right yeah I thought it gain and weight overnight my thyroid my endocrine system starts yeah [ __ ] just shutting down left and right I'm surprised it took that long for you to have and like a severe overtraining episode and yeah it was a severe you know it was probably overtraining mixed in with a lot of [ __ ] you know the body was whacked it was whack man and it just said you're done go ahead hang up your shoes lay in the bed it's time to die and how long did that go on for it went on about five years five years yeah so wait what period of times us so you're looking at it was bad water so before bad water 2013 is when it started actually walked a hundred miles of that race to finish it that was the way I was crewing Dean that year yeah you were right on our heels like most of the day and if I was I walked that whole thing was on Dean he was walking line sales Soho was not a good year for I walked that almost whole race I was cramping up so bad look like an alien was in my quads they were just doing this weird thing I was hydrating salt like what the hell's going on my body start shutting down then and then I had like a period of time I was like my god feeling my best and I crushed this way it's called frozen otter and I was like my god man I'm back no I wasn't it was just my body saying we got one more in this man before we give it up so 2013 is when it really started hitting hard man it went off enough all the things that you had to process that was probably one of the hardest being told you have to stop it was one of my hardest but I have to be honest with you it was the most eye-opening refreshing time my entire life it was like it really made me reset and it like what it said to me was all right man we still gotta find 100% mm-hmm you can't run you can't work out so that's why I went to school and I became a medic you know stuff like that with you know I started doing awesome I literally reset so I'm always in constant pursuit of my hundred percent whatever that is if I can't run anymore I'm gonna see what else I can do so it I was real proud of how I handled that my whole life got stripped from me and I was at like 20 years in the military and that my life was getting stripped man and I couldn't run I couldn't work out country [ __ ] anymore and I didn't lose my [ __ ] all that train I'd gone through mental training I'd gone through I was able to utilize it to find a lot of peace in myself a lot of joy and a lot of self fulfillment mm-hmm and it was uh it was actually uh not the best time yeah well my favorite chapter in the entire book is the final chapter chapter well I mean I was just so because one of the things I've always sort of thought about you or been concerned about with you is like is this guy gonna just go to his grave grinding and just angry and resentful avenging you know against the world or is he going to be able to find peace gonna be able to be content is he going to be able to find a way - - you know find the joy and the gratitude for these experiences or are you just going to be fighting all the way to the end man and you found that right like I was so happy you don't like read that yeah I found it but what's great about it is I found it like I still tap into it yeah do is it was there a moment of thinking like if I if I allow myself to experience joy and gratitude that I'm not gonna be able to be as hard that I'm gonna lose that edge that distinguishes me no that's not at all what it was was um I never felt that my entire life you're almost taught that [ __ ] when you're born in a happy home and and you're born around happy [ __ ] it kind of comes out I never I don't laugh my dad beat the laughter out of me when when you can't read and write and you're trying to hide out in classes and please don't call on me and [ __ ] and you're [ __ ] all scared of [ __ ] everywhere you go you're nervous and you're being and you're panicked and you're stuttering and you know your whole life is that [ __ ] there's not joy in that [ __ ] that becomes who you are no matter how much you change you're scarred so people like my god man you never smile never do this it's my life it's my life so you got to teach yourself how to read and write and also [ __ ] smile and say it's okay a lot of things aren't like you know man why don't you do this like I don't judge people that's why I don't judge the people man you want smart looks so hard like this read my book and don't forget where I came from it's who you are you have to undo that [ __ ] and no one came down and trained me on how to be happy how to find peace how do this now that's why I'm so glad I found it through suffering the greater the suffer the greater the peace I've found but you have to reflect on where you came from from the dungeon of Hell that I came from how to reflect on that [ __ ] to find final peace and be able to say WOW [ __ ] if you die in this bed at 40 years old I'm the happiest [ __ ] in the world because I did it I piss people off along the way some people don't like me Merry Christmas whatever but you can finally look in the [ __ ] mirror and you can cuss on damn rich roll [ __ ] and don't care what they say about you be happy with it the non-judgmental part is a lesson that you have to learn the hard way too right big time yeah big time I used to hate people not liking me when the hardest thing in the world for me at a young age was my god I swore to fit in I want to fit in I want you to like me so that's a horrible [ __ ] place to be in life because you lose yourself when you want to fit in with people so badly normal [ __ ] people know better than you you do whatever you can to fit in that's a bad place to be you lose yourself and trying to create a character that other people will accept and the that's what I found a lot of joy man this is guy this is me I'm speaking the third personal [ __ ] up I got some [ __ ] going on still working on myself take it or leave you don't like me take a number and get in line man and it does that involve like a spiritual perspective like what does that look like for you I am a even though people may not believe it for that cus mrs. hilarious I believe in God big time I've had this voice in my head since I was a young kid so what trained me was that voice and I'm not gonna go God on you right now I don't care if people believe in God or not that's not my place I'm not here to judge you you have your own life and your own things to deal with this voice in my head guided me to a spot where I'm at today and if you don't believe that you're here for a reason your life will seriously hurt and I started looking at my life and all this [ __ ] I went through as God put me some God whatever you believe in put me here to go through this and now I see all the hundreds of thousands of lives I'm changing by the hell I went through there's a lot of power in that so my purpose as I started going through this journey instead of looking like woe is me god man why the [ __ ] man why I so looking at what's the perfect training ground you knew exactly what you were doing you know exactly what the [ __ ] you were doing obviously you put me in every situation possible to tell a story that needs to be told yeah looking back it's like every domino is lined up perfectly to create the person that I'm sitting across from right now and also you took advantage you leveraged all of those opportunities to be that best version of yourself mm-hmm I did as afraid of that I mean it was a very scary scary road a guy who was afraid of a lot of things to then find power and fear to find power and overcoming fear and to get time out today where there's very few things I'm really afraid of because I know how to control it I know how to manage it I'm not to work it to my advantage now it's something else man so I really challenge people to really do a live autopsy on your brain and the reason why I talk on my childhood so much in this cuz I don't want you to put a title on me because once you title me as a freak you now put yourself in a position where you can be very comfortable in saying it's just not possible for me yeah that's so important because you have done so many crazy things it's very easy to just say well he's a crazy outlier that's it that's it he's that guy he's that special guy nope and that's the thing that makes me so pissed off in this world man the one thing that only thing gets me mad nowadays is that so many people die with untapped potential because they think that someone else is [ __ ] better than them and they were born you know not with the greatest tools you don't need [ __ ] you need the ability to [ __ ] grind your ass into a fine [ __ ] powder in that fine powder find a way to build that [ __ ] back up repeatedly that's possible yeah for you what I love is that you go out on these crazy training excursions and it's just pair of running shoes and shorts along is it man you don't have any crazy gear nope I'm a sponsored [ __ ] or anything like that no it's just at its most purest form I found a lot in that man always it has to be pure man like I don't want people like the reason I'll post a post what you're doing today no no man this is my time how much you [ __ ] know I'm doing today this is this is my time this is my growth factor but I think it creates a lot of demand because when you do drop that bomb once a week or whatever it's like she'll look at it I'll be like damn and that like an hour ago hey man unless you mine know what's going on in haha you know it says it's all about giving back in training uh-huh but I'm still learning I'm still learning I'm not Yoda yet what do you what do you still need to learn and what are you still afraid of honestly my biggest fear to this day is and I say a lot and I say a lot and it's it's going to heaven and being judged by God and you know God has I believe that God has this knows everything about you from time you're born when you're gonna be born when you're gonna die when you to graduate buzz whatever's going to happen - he knows all this [ __ ] some people never do what God knows you're capable of doing because you keep you know we have choices my biggest fear in life was to was to get to heaven and God look at me as I'm being judged and I was some fat 300-pound guy like I used to be that still spray for cockroach it was a car you know that's that's okay it's what you want to do I didn't wanna do that and I made a thousand dollars you know a month I got to heaven and God laid out this chart in front of me and they said hey man look at this chart and had my name on top and all this amazing [ __ ] and I'm like that's not that's not me man he goes that's who you were supposed to be my biggest fear in life is that one day if I ever get judged by something someone some some energy force that go up there and I failed the mission whatever would ever force up there thought I was to be some badass and I went up there under achieved you know I want that force up there that knows everything to be writing as I'm living and saying I had no [ __ ] idea he even had this in him so I want to just be the best I [ __ ] can and a lot people say that I truly mean that and what is it that you have to learn i stuff learned me you know I I still feel there's you know there's there's times where as a human being I'm a human and you you still fall back in these in these ruts of life where you think that you had a permanent fix cuz I'd done all that nothing's a permanent fix man that's why I grind every day because nothing is permanent are you training for anything right now I'm signed up for the hurt 100 oh you actually got in it and my schedule is so [ __ ] packed but I'm hoping I have like literally a one-day literally I can go out to run the race and fly back ah so I - that one is a race it is I think the 17th or 18th or 19th it's in that it is that weekend right in there that's a rare return to a race I mean other than bad water I've been there three times already yeah oh you don't hurt three times on oh you have okay yeah I've done three times and I haven't done a hundred mile race since that bad water 2013 I've done I've done several ultras but 200 mile distant you know my bias wasn't just not there it's there now but now my schedule is so busy but I said it's almost time man right but I feel like bad waters your [ __ ] it is the one that stands out amongst everything as the thing you're always trying to master it it was funny about that I'm just now getting to a point now where I'm being I'm gonna be real dangerous nice to meet you out there well listen man you're 43 now right 43 your prime I am you know this is this the problem my life is my problem ultra life 43 it was my best year was it yeah I mean it's your your radon uncoil man I think I I believe so I don't want to the biggest challenge for you now is that your life is so big and that's the thing that I used to be this underground know and the monk is what gave me my strength I was underground much quiet so much quiet in my life I saw all the noise out you're that guy in the corner with the hoodie on that's me man yeah that's me that's mirus dangerous [ __ ] try to man so so we can expect another bad water appearance oh for sure yeah for sure that is that that this will not end this will not end without that [ __ ] right there yeah well I want to I want to pivot a little bit and talk about the takeaways here for for the reader I mean we talked about the accountability mirror a little bit we talked about visualization and taking souls but let's talk a little bit about how journaling has been instrumental in this journey that you've been on yeah so basically I've been journaling now for several years and I should have bought my journal with me man I mean I have several of them had these little green military notebooks that I've kept actually put a couple in the in the book they're coming right out but I write down my day and what I do is I go back and study that day like sometimes I might I might get sick I might be over trained I might gain a couple pounds here I might feel it whatever that and then I it's like my accountability journal of what I'm doing with my life physical mental I had eating journal all this [ __ ] and helped me go back to once again study I'm a lab rat and I study myself I'm like not feeling [ __ ] up I go okay what I do last week and usually I can find out where I messed up last week you know how much time travel I want some sleep and how much I'm doing all this stuff and and through journaling man you can really figure out so much about where you're messing up in life and what you need to fix about yourself taking constant inventory costing honest about that and that's thing about you cannot put [ __ ] in there yeah it's gotta be a real a real journal about hey today I messed up here today I should have been a better person here and not just saying it but actually trying to fix it tomorrow do you extend that accountability to including like bringing in like a close circle of friends and mentors so they know what's going on or are you just accountable to yourself like if somebody's looking at this and saying well I could do that but how do you feel about letting others in on your goals and and and having like external pressure to hold you accountable no there's no external pressure that's that's we don't need it no you don't I mean but I think other people oh yeah oh yeah it no it's important to have circles it's important to have like like I talked about man like like that big rabbit hole of bad people that you want to get away from like if you're a drunk you want to stop drinking you gotta get away from those people you want to build this nucleus around you of people who are saying it's not okay to sleep in today we gotta get after it hey let me see your journal you're supposed to be running five miles they only ran three you got to have those people some people need those people hmm and it's important but you want to get to the point in your life it's real important that you hold yourself accountable and those people start to fade away because you now got it you want to be that person cuz they're not always gonna be there to hold your hand mm-hmm talk to me about the cookie jar one of the most powerful weapons I have man as a cookie jar and in times of need even the hardest person forgets how badass they are so I've been through a lot of [ __ ] in my life when you're going through a hard time right now you forget all the hardship you when doored so the cookie jar is a reminder that oh I can get through this hard time right now but you got to take a second or two to reach into the mental cookie jar let's say it's a fortune cookie but in my mind my mom is about these cookies knowing the cookie jar and there's an Oreo chips or whatever that's why got the cookie jar from but you got to open up and say okay man I was in three Hill weeks and I got through two of them you know I was in Ranger school I I endured being called [ __ ] I saw these beatings I you know my mom soon-to-be husband got got murdered I saw all these I saw a little kid hair get read about all these things aren't do it alone I had to remind myself of the strength and the power that I have that it's in me it's just a reminder of how badass you are in hard times because you know we just forget that that bad time consumes our mind and we forget who we are torching complacency you have to do that every day man a lot of us are very you become complacent you become very civilized in life you know the worst thing that can happen to a person you become civilized you get to that point where you believe that you've arrived were you my god man I'm up there near Michelle Obama on my book I've done it man mm-hmm I'm good you can coast I can't I'm good enough to do her I got played your man cards to [ __ ] do out to be a wildland firefighter man I retire for the milk I think I could go out there and dig fire line for three miles on 43 mouths done it you should just be flying first class everywhere every blue in speech isn't getting paid crazy caffeine in a hotel kickin it man and that's exactly when it's over that mindset right there to meet his death I'm not saying you can go as hard as you did when you were 20 or not 43 but there's a new bar that you must always set in your life and once you become complacent and you become civilized you've arrived you no good for anybody and how do you keep that bar high when most challenges now I would imagine seem trivial compared to what you've endured they are I go back to the sewer in the sewers at $7 a month place I once lived in as a young kid so even though mentally mentally mentally and I always talked about it I'll talk about I'm always paying rent and that $7 month place where I grew up in that nasty little place I grew up in I remember it I remember like it was yesterday and I'm glad I do I never want to forget the dungeon of where I come from even though it's real spooky and scary and there's no lights on in there there's cobwebs and some creepy [ __ ] in there some demons all those [ __ ] in there made me dragons may be Who I am today that's where the strength came from you got to go back to the beginning to to the fundamentals of life to the very fundamentals that we're all like playing basketball you gotta go back to the fundamentals you just know you can't always just stay up here you got to go back to scratch that's a that challenge becomes staying in tune with that that's right you know what I mean because life's getting better and easier for you and bigger and there's more demands on your time and like people are throwing really cool fun shitty yeah I'm always asked my fiance my conversation on a weekly basis is I cannot get away from who the [ __ ] I am Who I am is who I'm proud of I'm very proud of the hard-working calloused hands calloused mine human being that I literally made this person with a lot of help from above a lot of guidance from saying you're gonna go left and you should go right that horrible voice that wouldn't let me get away from myself and hide forever I listen to it I listen to it and the only way you can set the example is you have to always be willing to work I don't follow people who talk about what they used to do in life look if [ __ ] what you used to do I don't care that you know you used to be the best mother I don't care what are you doing today you may not be that person now but what are you still doing - trying to excel in life and a lot of people now are talking I hear so much talk I don't hear a lot of work I hear like people telling you what you should be doing how you should be doing it how you should be [ __ ] living and I look at them and you're fat you're out of shape you look like [ __ ] but you're telling a [ __ ] how to live no man I won't listen to you there's so many people speak in this [ __ ] and that's what bothered me a lot in the military there's a lot of people talking [ __ ] I don't see the real suffering behind it behind what you're saying everybody said man you talk with someone's past because it's a real [ __ ] place it sucks to get in the morning something it was raining like cats and dogs I don't get my shoes on go run but guess what I got my [ __ ] on the rain yeah got that mother bigquery's like is the vision that's coming into my mind is like is Jake LaMotta at the end of raging ball when he's all fat and he's staring himself in in his own lack of accountability mirror right right like drunk and talking about the good old days right there are no good old days man no no good old days you got ya go back and use it for strength man but it's where you at now I think the most one of the most empowering takeaways challenges that you pose in the book is the schedule that in thing man because the biggest thing that I hear and I know you must hear constantly every single day is like can't I don't have time man you don't know my life I got this I got that I got this it's just it's not gonna happen for me right which you don't have is you haven't prioritized your life correctly we all have time we all have time what you've done wrong is that you you didn't prioritize yourself you didn't put eyes that look [ __ ] I gotta get up and win this war today against myself I need you look better I need you feel better to eat better I need to prioritize time or I gotta run a hundred miles on broken feet or you got do whatever it is that's it that's it man there's a lot of growth from that [ __ ] I like this idea of you know doing taking this inventory tool and applying it to how you're spending your time throughout the day you know I talk about this a lot and you went into detail in this challenge about look man if you if you actually write down how you're spending your time throughout the day over a seven day period you're gonna mean it's crazy cuz I thought I was being pretty efficient with my time and I've done this and it's just amazing how much time is wasted that you're not even consciously aware of unreal how much time you waste during the day and most of it is on these [ __ ] computers phones you know instagramming back and forth whatever the hook eCollege [ __ ] nowadays tweeting and texting the [ __ ] we waste so much time on our little gadgets it's unreal every time but we have no time if you really think you have to take your day and write write down this one day everything you do write that down and you like my god I am wasting so much time on frivolous [ __ ] not funny I mean it will it doesn't infuriate you it should because there's so much time I can't get it in look at your schedule just wasted seven hours today on [ __ ] I mean you'll have an hour a day to try to get something in for yourself I guarantee everybody can find an hour then it becomes about willingness yeah because no just there's harder they're not willing to get up that early to you know make those sacrifices required so it's a function of how badly do you want to change your life and what are you willing to endure to craft that life that you aspire to have or do you just want to talk about it yeah I mean it's [ __ ] miserable it is miserable I mean to get up every day or five days a week whatever when it's snowing Shani not not shiny not not comfortable and to go into gym and workout when you don't want to go to gym it is not fun well and we're in a culture that that is driving everybody towards this idea that happiness is purchased through luxury comfort and ease how true that could not be you know more different from that reality that if you want to find peace with yourself self understanding self knowledge self esteem all of these things are going to be found only through sacrifice getting uncomfortable reevaluating what your normal is and and putting yourself in situations that you don't want to [ __ ] do yes and we want it very fast if you don't see results in the first two days or the first week I'm done that's the mentality of most people their struggle is too real we're not patient we like in the world where you can google the best restaurants around me right now no one is patient and for you to lose weight for you to stop drink if you where the hell you're going through it takes a lot of patience a lot of time and a lot of pitfalls a lot of plateaus you can hit so many [ __ ] plateaus if you don't know how to get around that plateau it's not gonna happen fast mm-hmm yeah everybody wants the hack yeah everybody must there is no hack man there's no hack what do you think is the biggest stumbling block that most people face with this kind of journey honestly is they have the well with me mentality it's too hard life isn't fair these things in life are not easy for me you you you look to your left you look to your right and you start to judge yourself off other people like if you're a female she's skinny she doesn't work out as hard as I do and everything starts to corrupt your mind you start to look around too much other people what they're doing and that starts to corrupt your own dialogue we are judging ourselves against too many [ __ ] people you have to judge yourself against yourself and that's the one thing I started learning this in the race against me and rich roll this racing is David Goggins and David Goggins alone if once you can silence all that [ __ ] all the outside interference and things that are attracting your mind to everything you can then start to grow and realize and I'm stressed out for no reason this is a whole little race there's no little time line and this time we run it I think that so many people are so disconnected from themselves they're operating on autopilot they're reacting to their environment that even when given the opportunity to set a goal for themselves they generally don't set the right goal right because they don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing because they don't even know who they are fundamentally that's the big thing man and that's why it was important for me to finally realize stop being all this fake people I used to be stop being afraid there was no growth until I cut myself down to nothing to the person I really was the real human being and once I found out who I really was that's when I started growing I was trying to build on top of a lied fucked-up foundation you can't build a house in the [ __ ] up foundation so I had to get down to the actual mineral soil of who I was naturally you can start real growth and what is the role that suffering plays in that or the willingness to suffer it starts to peel all those layers away all those artificial layers away if you're willing to suffer and suffer and go back in the grind that internal dialog you have with yourself when you're in misery and you're uncomfortable it's a real scary unfiltered no lying dialogue between you and yourself and people know exactly what the [ __ ] I'm talking about when you're in a bad spot in life and your mind is saying all kind of [ __ ] that's who you really are that's too real you know Rocky Balboa moments going on up there like hey you know it's around 14 that's come on we got this no like [ __ ] this I'm out here man it's crazy that's where the growth happens when you're able to stay in that moment and talk to yourself talking yourself back into the suck of wherever you're going through and you started stripping those layers away but as you're stripping those layers away you're building calluses over top of [ __ ] in your mind that's where the growth starts to happen is when you have to force yourself to stay in it you can't you can't leave it that's why ultras are such a great vehicle for self exploration and that's why you see all of these cultures over the millennia that you talk about in your book who use running as a means of self exploration and a path to enlightenment because you can't [ __ ] yourself when you're getting it strips you down to who you are and you could you are confronted with the truth of yourself and your reality and you're forced to wrestle with that yes in a way where there's no escape hatch you know like that first hundred mile race I've talked about several times where I lost all yeah all every still the hardest physical thing you've ever done right yes physically mentally because like you just said I was unprepared for that race no training just recap it like zero training there were 300 miles so that you could impress Chris Kaufman it's too hard to get in the bad water pretty much right and what about impressing that guy fighting me well you needed him to sign I need you to sign off on it and it was like three days later I'm in a hundred mile race no train at all and when you do that it is stupid but what it does if you're not gonna quit it like you just talked about it breaks you down to nothing you are suffering so badly mentally and physically that all of these demons are coming up and you trying to find answers and you're trying to find answers it it was like live in 19 hours it's like five years I put in two 19 hours of highs and lows and pitfalls and and and seeing the Sun come up and it was like my god I live five years in 19 hours it was unbelievable it was unbelievable so do you find yourself chasing that now with every ultra challenge no because once you realize what you get from ultra which you get from life I can apply that now just by sitting here with you you know those tools now I don't need to go out even though I still do it and go out and Hammer the hammering part is like you know it's like a purging of the soul you go out there and hammer out there you got to do that everyone's wrong you got a hammer man you gotta ya get after it but now I figured out so many different ways and so many different tools through all of the journeys I've been through through just growing up man just just be mature you know just just being really mature and now holding on hey you know really really just letting all that [ __ ] go man and it starting from scratch and let's go let's go for how do you let it go I don't think enough about people that have let that have wronged me or situations that have wronged me because once you've ER once you've come to a place where you are really happy with who you are in life no one [ __ ] with you anymore even though they're [ __ ] with you it doesn't [ __ ] what it doesn't [ __ ] with you you know like all these eyes would be so hurt by everything in the military and if someone did Somerset's I'm like man I've overcome so much [ __ ] there's not like I'm this in the really good headspace right now my headspace I own it a lot of people own other people's headspace I owe my own [ __ ] now what do you mean oh no like that they're just all caught up and what other people think about them and running all these narratives and that's right there they're more caught up in what other people think about them then how you feel about your own personal self so a lot of people have their brain in their mind on rent too whole bunch of [ __ ] in world I am paying rent on my own [ __ ] I finally put an ounce downpayment on it and I'm making payments everyday going day on my own [ __ ] brain so you own you don't [ __ ] control that [ __ ] anymore man I got it so walk me through a day in the life what's it look like right now well I mean it's got to be crazy right now I leave here and I fly out to Oregon and I'll be an organ with Cameron Haynes we'll be getting after for a few days a lot more podcast lot more interviews but every day every morning I get up I still get my run in every morning how do you structure the training the training is basically structured off of my schedule so look at my schedule yeah that's okay Jennifer would we have today we have this at 7 o'clock in the morning Roger that that means I gotta be up by 4 o'clock in the morning to run that's how it works that's how all my [ __ ] works so she lays out the schedule of events to out you just you just set it two hours earlier she says it could take an hour to get to rich rolls let's say we were at 7 o'clock today in the morning it takes an hour to get to rich rolls with no traffic ok that's that's blocking an hour 15 for rich roll okay we got that good morning tom I'm gonna run 7 miles this morning I need 52:34 that Roger that put in [ __ ] shower shave add that in so the schedule dictates but I have all the [ __ ] back right so that means getting up at 1:30 trust me Roger that I've done that several times yeah several how much sleep do you usually get I like getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep nowadays I can do that but there's times where the schedule says hey man you're getting three hours and if that's the case right Merry Christmas one of the things I felt that that maybe Joe Rogan didn't quite grasp was why you would go out and become this wildland fire from this stage in your life right yeah yeah yeah I'm looking at face like what the [ __ ] that's once again going back to the roots going back to Who I am who how I became Who I am today and it comes back from hard work it comes back from having that very minimalistic mindset and when you're out there man and you're 43 and I've accomplished a lot of [ __ ] you got there with some 20 year old kids and you're nobody again being nobody there's a lot of power and being nobody there's a lot of power from going to scratch again and going back out there picking up a Pulaski and just digging fireline you're just another guy on the line digging a fire line and no one you know there's no text message there's no my god David can you sign my book no I [ __ ] get your ass out there it's like being in Army Ranger School I do where all the titles are removed removed that's executives man and I take a I've always lived that lifestyle I always talk about living day one week one I started day one week one of buds so many [ __ ] times and when you hear that your heart is crumbling [ __ ] they want week one again man I could go through all that [ __ ] again like I said it became my new norm and I found so much growth in that day one week one mentality but what I did wrong I tried to put that mentality on a lot of people and they don't want it yeah what do you think people most misunderstand about your story I'm not happy um what the biggest thing is they say look at his eyes look at his eyes man have you seen his eyes says he has demons in his eyes like someone happy I'm like there's a lot of projection you know and I see something to see I think that the biggest thing is I'm not happy I'm not I'm not fulfilled you know all this [ __ ] they're so missing the point man what they see in me is a very focused driven human being who found a buried [ __ ] treasure within himself now many people found it so the jury I'm on is very different than most people as well judge people I say that many times I don't judge people I'm judged a lot about how I look my eyes might not smile all the time not laughing not joking and that's the big I'm a funny [ __ ] big-time but guess what right now it's easy to be happy it's easy to smile those are the good times - good times hmm those times don't need to be trained you know how to train myself for good times those times for most people don't need be trained when I'm trying to give you all is the misery of sometimes we go through in life those are times we might want to [ __ ] talk about we want to skip forward to peace that's this [ __ ] [ __ ] all this that's a skip all this pain and suffering and misery of real life let's it's covered over nice big blanket and that's fine piece no sorry it's not possible got go into that [ __ ] hellhole of life that you have that [ __ ] you up and fix it and that's what I'm here to do you gotta go to war with yourself before there's peace that's what I say in the bush you say in the book you must go to war yourself before you find peace so I'm trying to give you tools on how to do that and I'm not gonna sit and smile and be happy about it it's a hard journey it's a real journey it's a it's a journey that's gonna take you way outside of being comfortable you'd be very very uncomfortable what we're what's what we're here to do very I mean I love that we'll see that I love that story that you tell about you know showing up at the pearly gates and wanting to be evaluated based upon your potential that's right I mean I believe we're here to grow and progress and evolve and if you're not committed to that journey then I think you're missing the beauty of life and that doesn't mean it's easy cuz of [ __ ] ain't it is the Warriors path truly how'd you percent but if you don't acclimate to challenging yourself and facing obstacles and becoming better on a consistent daily basis then what the [ __ ] are you doing I was it and sometimes you have to put the obstacle in front of you that's why I went to be right so now life's good and easy so you have to create that's alright cuz I have no office anymore man life is good so I'm gonna go up to Montana or Wyoming or what's right you go to let go I go to Montana I said here's my obstacle so what your life gets easy and everything is great it's time to go online and go with some obstacles to put like two [ __ ] five you and when you look back on your childhood and you think about your dad do you find peace with that do you find gratitude 100% man for me to start this journey that had to start how to go back to where it started from and I I came from that man that man is a part of me I had to accept that had accept that a lot of my insecurities by that man beaten why that man beat my mom why that man got in my head her bus said he had a [ __ ] up life I had to study him and I had to realize I had to find peace with all that I had to realize that what he did like he hated me mm-hmm he hate himself and so once you start to grow up and like I say take a different vantage point I had to forgive that man even though I didn't say sorry he never said sorry we had our last conversation at 22 years old and he died about four or five years ago cause last time I talked about 22 years old but he was able to see you become successful from a distance I think it hurt him I think it hurt him because he saw me become a man a man that he was very proud of and he'd had much to do with it but once again I didn't hate him for he was the fuel beneath it all he was a lot of fuel man but once but I will say this anger was never my fuel a lot of people think that I would think that would be maybe a big misconception about it is it's easy to look at you and that guy's that guy is lit up and resentment even back in the day so I gotta say I've never seen this before I was actually telling my fiancee this the other day people think anger with my [ __ ] fuel just so yeah anger can be a fuel anger got me to look into things to become better I want to show him but I'll tell you one thing when you're suffering and your [ __ ] at the wit's end and you want to [ __ ] quit that anger is gone brother well it's also not a sustainable fuel lowers your mind is thinking about let's get the [ __ ] out of here so I realized this anger ain't [ __ ] I didn't think about my dad beat me up I need my kids coming [ __ ] I think about yeah [ __ ] I thought my man this [ __ ] water is cold as balls now get the [ __ ] out of here so I realized anger was no fuel for me it may have got me to say I want to be somebody anger got me caught up in some serious ego chips man yeah and on the subject of sustainable fuel sources motivations not your favorite motivation is just this Goggins he's so motivation motive I'm so inspired and motivation has killed a man is this killing liking all these fires that happen here in California man so so tragic what happened out here but those fires start by a little motivation and this if I'm looking at mass like a like a little spark starts these big fires it was so crazy that's why I look at motivation motivations just a spark but those little sparks and something light comes by real quick with some water that fires doubt this out but if you come by and that little fire no one touches it and that little fire which is motivation which is kindling and that kindling grows off - like they call it when our fuels - our fuels 10 our fuels $10,000 fuels you want that thing to ball over and catch a nice big log let's go burn a long time and that big loss starts catching everything on fire this is your soul so motivation a lot of times can be [ __ ] just put some water on it puts it out that motivation is to turn into Drive passion obsession - what you want to become and once they come obsession or driven it's a [ __ ] Inferno so now you got calling tons of fire fires and call them for help for here calling for help from there and they're not putting that [ __ ] out don't they can take that thing out it's gotta burn itself out but obsession is self generated you can feel another person to become obsessed though that has to you know be something that is cultivated deep deep inside yourself deep and most people never experience what it's like to be obsessed and I think we put a negative label we oh yeah on obsession oh yeah he's obsessed no it's to me it's a it's a dead gone it's a it's a compliment it's a compliment mad to be and a lot of times it can [ __ ] you up it can ruin your life you could be upset but I'll tell you one thing if you want to be great want to be bashed [ __ ] ever at what you do you could be misunderstood by everybody because you're gonna be so [ __ ] obsessed and so driven to get there that's what it takes that's the trip takes every second of your [ __ ] life if anybody says balance yeah balance is important for a lot of [ __ ] people it is but if you want to [ __ ] go to that edge people do not like you don't understand you question everything you [ __ ] do you you've arrived when you are misunderstood to the point where [ __ ] people think you're psycho and you're nuts and you're this and that why are you in the [ __ ] gym at one o'clock in the [ __ ] morning you've got through doing an OP for [ __ ] 13 14 hours at the Ranger school man at the gym what's wrong you will never understand what is wrong with me and that's why I'm so [ __ ] glad you don't cuz I'm in the right [ __ ] spot when people don't understand you anymore you're in that spot of obsession and drive where people have quit the [ __ ] is wrong with this guy I want to talk to you man cuz you're not gonna get it I'm not gonna get it boom I want you to get it yeah don't want you to get it yeah that's powerful man alright well we got to land the ship but I want to leave people with a couple thoughts this is gonna go up on New Year's Day it's the time of year where everyone's thinking about what they want their 2009 to look like 2019 to look like they should have been thinking about that a long time ago it's the way it works for most people so let's let's leave people let's let's get them you know set on a good trajectory with a couple things to think about and execute on as I like lead into January how's that man so I bought my set yeah that's it man you have to change the dialogue with in your head and one thing I guarantee you there's some stat out there about January 1 all that kindling that you started or that motivation usually burn out by about 10 to 12 days later so I see how far you can take that [ __ ] I see if you can get a [ __ ] there's a challenge from Goggins do you usually is 10 to 12 days man people always coming man hey I want to work out program I no longer give them anymore cuz you go waste my [ __ ] time good I know most people out there once that [ __ ] one alarm clock goes off the wrong time of the day I'm not going to the gym right or they get the workout program but then they're like hey they hit you up again what kind of watch do I need to guess right let's not use as much just keep coming every he goes by without anything going on keep coming go to the store buy a pair of shoes and Merry Christmas have fun with that [ __ ] call me after you lose some [ __ ] weight running your ass in the dirt and then we'll work on some other [ __ ] right now get your base on there you go man all right cool pleasure and an honor my friend thank you so much for having me on again rich I appreciate you missus this is amazing I cannot recommend this book more highly can't hurt me get the audiobook get the hardcover it's available right wherever you buy books I'll put a link in the show notes to it as well this book will [ __ ] change your life I promise you man and I'm no stranger to these kind of narratives and I thought like I said at the outset of this that I knew the story I did not know the story and I was profoundly impacted by it and also just so great that that our mutual friend Adam is part of this he's a man's man he did a great job of capturing your voice and I know this was you know a long journey with the two of you guys but it came out on top I went through a lot of Ghost Rider's now I didn't come a ghost right that's the wrong word Ghost Writer server see that's why the so called ghost right was hand in hand right beside me doing the audiobook so you know he sees a lot morning ghost right he was a guy that captured a very [ __ ] up life and he captured that [ __ ] just right together we captured some good [ __ ] so it's it's a good read yeah it's gonna be awesome man all right dude until next time Roger Roger that [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Rich Roll

Views: 1,648,572

Rating: 4.9075866 out of 5

Keywords: rich roll, health, fitness, athlete, podcast, inspiration, motivation, wellness, spirituality, mindfulness, meditation, self-help, david goggins, navy, seal, army, veteran, special ops, warrior, ultrarunning, ultramarathon, can't hurt me, psychology, mindset, mastery, accountability, badwater, hurt 100, chris kyle, sniper, marcus luttrell, book, joe rogan, navy seal, army ranger, air force, abuse, psychological abuse, obstacles, goal setting, new years resolutions

Id: azROJC2YJ4g

Length: 131min 1sec (7861 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 01 2019