Joe Rogan Experience #1212 - David Goggins

whoo come on let's go boom and we're live David Goggins your book is fucking fantastic man this has been my running partner the audio version of it has been my running partner for the last week it's fucking amazing man well I appreciate that thank you well you guys are doing something about very unusual the book is great I've read I've read it like sat down read read but the the audiobook is really interesting right because you and the gentleman he wrote it with Leah Adam Adam let's go Nick Adams call Nick who reads it then you come on and talk about things in between so it's more than just the book rights the book plus is the book plus like a podcast right yeah so how that came to be man as um as I was going through this book for last year we would go through change stuff up have so many stories man we went through interview so many people so many stories he would come back and read it to me all my changes and when he read it like man this guy has a great reading voice I love his reading voice and I started getting these different ideas about doing it like you know what maybe he can read and I can do my podcast thing I'm aside and he can like after he's chapter in between chapters make it really interactive type of thing and that's kind of how it came to be man at the beginning I gotta be honest the beginning I was like who is this motherfucker talking for David Gardens I think you redo this why don't you do it why are you but but it works right it really does work yeah like as as it goes on and I got also it's very obviously you and him are good friends so when you guys are talking then I don't mind him reading for you as much for some strange reason right I know it doesn't make any sense well I wouldn't say we're good friends I'm just joking Adam looking here right now he became a pain in my fucking ass during this process man because you know he's just he's a real anal guy you know he he helped out a lot you know I'm uh I'm a real raw sadistic type of mindset and he helped me put that on paper man so I gave him a lot of credit for that well it it comes across the book is outstanding and you know it's it's it's more than just sitting with like sitting across you and you telling your story is one thing but this long detailed history of how you became to be the person you became I think it's very educational for people because they can realize like oh he wasn't always this guy right this is what's fucked up about people like you see a guy who's like you who once I mean how many ultra marathons did you run in a row you were got some same as I ran 808 weekends in a row to stop and think about that ladies and gentlemen 800s means eight 100-mile races eight weekends in a row a 100-mile race will put you out for fucking six months right you know and you ran eight of them eight weekends oh it's a fuck it's a fucking insane accomplishment it was nuts you think about a person like that you think of them as in this like static fully formed version right you don't usually get to see and especially someone like you who you went into so much depth about your rise and fall and rise and fall it wasn't like a straight linear process between you getting inspired and you becoming this bad motherfucker no it wasn't like what's that show called but that Will Smith plays that that black guy who kind of makes it in in the financial world Pursuit of Happyness I never saw that yeah it's a great movie it wouldn't like pursue happiness man like like with a guy struggles and he he gets over it and he makes it yeah I fell on my ass I thought got the top of Mount Everest and my neighbors just fucking slide right underneath me I was like god I start from scratch again scratch became my friend literally man so you know that's that's how you put in the book man going up going down going up just a real raw version of how my life was in it was so in-depth to go back through your life with a fine-tooth comb that I almost got embarrassed even put it out there to people yeah that's one understand man like even me right now to talk to you I'm in the car for a fucking hour getting pumped up cuz I'm a shy introverted leave me a long time a guy like I'm still that motherfucker who is six years old you know at a play who can't say his line because I'm no longer stood in front of five people so I walk offstage that still me so every day I'm fighting that do so people think oh my god man you're a podcast look so crazy so evil no I'm trying to be locked in the Joe so my mind isn't veer off saying let's run out the damn door because people are watching me on the fucking podcast I want to open it damn doing get out of here man so that's two real me so I'm not sadistic man I'm focused don't we have to do the stay locked into the game of life and that's where and that's why I tell people man I I go there I go there that's one of the reasons why this book is so good is because you're so honest about your vulnerabilities and how you overcome them and for people that see someone who's a beast who's done great things you just assume that they're different than you right but then you hear about your insecurities and your pitfalls and all the things that went wrong with you and you realize what goddammit those the same things that go wrong with me like maybe I have that inside of me and I've just never summoned it right and I'll tell you this I start really realizing that when I started overcoming myself I started getting around these real alpha males these hard hard men and I always put people way above me I was growing up like my god they had to have a lot more than me to get to where they're at and a lot of them did but once you get around the the best of the best of the best people you can kind of start breaking them down and realizing man you you're just as fucked up as me like we all have but all you did was you hit it better your your your upbringing your mom and dad your society the way you were raised it hit it better than then did mine you weren't the only black kid or there was like five in a school you know I can't hide going through buds I was only black you can't hide but I started realizing just because I look different than you a lot of you my first kin hotter so I started giving me courage through watching people that were all have a story we all have a jacked up life in one way or another some of us don't have the guts to talk about it though and that's where I found the guts to talk about mine well there's some is purity in physical pursuits right because it doesn't matter what your social status is it doesn't matter how people perceive you when it when it comes down to how long can you stay in that pool when it comes down to how far can you run when it comes down to how much can you push yourself past the part where you want to quit how far can you keep going there's a purity in that that did dissolve social order all that bullshit all the what people think about you goes out the window it's what who are you right now that's right who are you right now that's a true statement man and I look at this as a psychological warfare and that's where I started learning that that life is one big psychological warfare that you play on yourself you clown yourself man the most important conversation ever had myself with myself and that shit I'll tell myself was so fucked up it was so wrong it was so misguided and other people start to write that dialogue for you also and start to be what you said yourself every single day and I started creating a whole nother warfare a whole nother battle started becoming I was like oh hang on a second godness you have these tools you have these tools your life was basically the perfect the perfect grounds for training for where you need to go in your life all the beatings are the other bullying all that you know you going through learning disabilities all the struggles it was the absolute perfect training ground for you to go to we need to go and that's how I started looking at my life versus what was me poopypants kick a rock down the street mentality it was not God just hooked you right to fuck up he hooked you right up man with the perfect place you were training for the first 18 19 26 you were training for this stuff man you have the advantage of everybody else versus my god they're so above me they came from a great family mom and dad loved them they didn't have learned that they started leading struggle nah man your struggle is what made you who you are now so I started flipping this into a whole different I started being a master of what I was scared of I was get up my mind and I became a literally a master of that mind and that's what now from now on it sets me apart from most people I started diving into that well that is a big part of the stories when you go over your childhood and you know your abusive father and then having this great guy that was gonna become your step down and then he gets murdered it's like right when you're about to get out of it everything looks good boom and then he gets murdered it's like these things really did sort of set you up to start from scratch again and just go okay Roger that we start from scratch and now you have that attitude you developed it through all of these horrible personal experiences all the trials and tribulations all the evil shit that people try to do to you that sort of set you up to be able to deal in a way that a lot of people can't well I used to look at my life from a different vantage point and when you're when you're in all the muck and you're just walking in muck and walking in muck and walk in the muck you don't see that if you look off to the fucking left of the muck there's a sidewalk brother get off get off of it you you have your head down looking in this muck once I saw the sidewalk got the sidewalk I got a little break and I got a different vantage point and then from the sidewalk I found a cliff and I found a mountain I got way up high on top of my life and look back down on it and said okay I gotta figure this out man I'm not going anywhere I'm trying to lie I'm started like so we have a messed up foundation I started up lying about everything I wanted people to like me I wanted to be accepted in some Society of life some social Society and I say man this isn't the right way I messed up here I messed up here I messed up everywhere and so I realized the worst thing that happened to me is I lost myself I never had myself never found myself I had no self-esteem so I knew through working out and through learning God it took a lot for me to learn also I started finding self-esteem once I found that that's when doors start hoping I started I stopped caring about people that what they thought being judged well if I say this if I started right now are you making fun of me I stopped caring about that and that's my life started really changing for me slowly but surely that that's such an important point we were talking about the working out because a lot of people in they think about working out they think of it as being a physical thing right no no I did it for mental yeah people are say my god like no don't don't look at it like I didn't care about losing weight I don't care about being the fastest person I came out I wasn't making the Olympics I won't go on the pros I could barely read and write when I was in a junior in high school I wasn't going anywhere I saw working out as a way for me to build calluses on my mind I had to callus over the victims mentality so I watched these movies I know I talked about rocket last time I was on here I always equated training to mental toughening like it wasn't brutal people waking up early and doing all these things and look it looks horrible I was like wow I got started doing that not to get better bigger and stronger but that is what's gonna build me that looks uncomfortable that looks brutal and getting up early I don't want to do that some of this long list of things I don't want to do and through that I found myself I started like I'm like you guys aren't doing this shit in high school you guys are getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning running over here in this golf course so I started seeing myself very differently than the average human being I was like hang on a second I have something they don't have and that's not starts to develop these things do working out it was this great never-ending work ethic and through work ethic I develop self-esteem now is this something that you learn is this something you learn yourself from from exercise yourself or is it something you had read or heard about like what made you equate this doing this and doing these difficult things physically to mental toughness to being this is the discipline that you need in order to get your life out of the situation you're in so I never read anything you know I could barely read you know so I wasn't reading back then I just saw I watched a lot of movies and I was really big into visualization and I always equated working out to struggle and I struggled my whole life but I ran from it so I started realizing I got started facing the struggle and I got be mentally strong for the struggle so that's why I started coming up like I'm training for life mentally I'm training for life I'm not training for like set to lift 400 pounds and I found out on my own pretty much is that through this through through discipline through self-discipline through repetition do tons of repetition the same thing that you don't want to do that's it that's the key thing do repetition the things you don't want to do you develop mental like like an armor for your mind start to armor your mind come on say okay we suffer we suffer everyday that's what we do we do stuff that sucks every day so then when the suck stuff comes you're ready for it and that's all started coming up you know I just start being very uncomfortable now I'm just like just a way of life it's a crazy thing to figure out though it's like that you figured it out and you didn't just figured out you embraced it like when you were talking about your senior of high school when you're talking about your your mirror being your accountability mirror like you had a radical shift like you just decided to not be a fucking loser right and to start tightening up and start holding yourself accountable and and get ready for things so I have this my whole life and I mean I don't know if people believe in God or what I don't care what you believe in there's been this unrelenting voice in my head we all have this voice it's too right or wrong voice and a lot of times that voice guys instant to comfort and my boys got it mean to comfort a lot but I have this other voice I heard my whole life say hey motherfucker what are you doing nah man we got to go over here we had to go over here to that rock pile over in the fucking corner where nobody's at that's that's where victories at we're over in a corner so this voice was giving me all these answers not I went real smart kid growing up but I had this crazy voice in my head saying over there is where the fucking answers are and I won't listen to it cuz over there was pain over there was me looking in the mirror over there was me being accountable for all these things I went through my life you know people put him on me it's now mine to own and I'm gonna go over there by myself but I had to and this voice was guiding me there it's God would everyone call it but that's what that's what it wasn't me do you think that's just what you when you separate yourself from your ego and what you were your insecurities and all you like if you were giving yourself advice you would say that's what the thing is to do so do you think that's what it was like your subconscious or though you stripped away from all the bullshit when you couldn't lie to yourself because it's a voice in your head it's exactly it it's exactly it cuz it knew it knew I was a character I was trying to find myself through a character I was making different hairstyles and sagging my pants and I was off I was off man I was I was a clown I was a clown and I was like this is not this is not what you're supposed to be in life man and it's ugly when you look in that dirty mirror and you're trying to do a new hairstyle to go to school you know I had the hairstyle one time where I shaved the top of my head you know how old men had the hair like leaving their head yeah yeah so I went to school with hair on the side of my head and in my back and I shaved the whole top of my head I just I went to school like that you know and then I hit like what did the kids say I wasn't I don't remember they said but it was I was just a funny dude you know so that was my thing I was the funny dude that came into school like criss cross came out when I was in high school so my pants were backwards I see no I have my pants backwards sag down past my ass crack shirt turn backwards with a toothbrush in my mouth with the reverse part reverse party as your head is shaved and you have some hair on top just a little piece of hair versus like a like a part right new hair the part was on a bald head so it was just I I would sit at home instead of studying I would think about what can I do to impress the motherfucker at school and that became my life and that is it's a long road to hoe to get to the guy who says now you don't ever smile on any podcast looks so serious I look at that shit like you motherfuckers have no idea who I am who I've come from to get here today you could have probably been an entertainer like you probably because you were doing all that kind of shit have some jokes Joe I got some jokes yeah you do so what people read in this book can't hurt me it's a sad story it's a horrible story it's a tragic story it's a story that made me who I am today but you have to learn to laugh at yourself too once you once you go through that shit I now so there's a lot of parts in there was like me against a lot of white people you know and I have a routine that I won't do so people who hire me to speak I'm not going to do the routine I often do it sometimes I think about it I was a 36 black guy to go through still training okay it's not how many people out of probably looking at probably 11 12 to make it through probably 13,000 seals I was probably the 36 of the 36 I gotta make it through and over just like they liked in 1940 you know you're looking at almost 70 years Wow yeah so you know you know you know do the math on that so there's not a lot of black guys and so I take that and I make a nice comedy skit out of that shit you know like like like the first time they tied me up and threw me it's called drown proofing yeah so I'm negative boring as hell you know me too well related to that big-time yes you want a few white boys man they're they're negative boy and that's hard so imagine them getting your hands and feet tying your ass up and throwing the fucking waters they swim ah it was like throwing a cat in the water with fucking a brick on him so I was just losing my fucking mind so is so many things had to get over you know and I found humor I found humor in my suffering I was like motherfucker what are you doing out here Gaga it's like this is crazy like you're you're literally trying to reinvent the wheel I was trying to reinvent my mind I was trying to reinvent my mind and I used every single tactic possible to do that I didn't want to live you know live in this world where I was a fake human being anymore and I was tired of blaming everybody for all that my dad beat me this happened I mean my dad ran prostitutes man my dad literally snatched the soul out of my mom like my mom is still battling like that's my mom left my dad and this one I'll talk about in the book she got married three times for a total of six months you know I'll go there and I'm not gonna talk about the guy she married so this woman was she's beautiful she's she's so smart all this stuff man this guy literally stripped her soul away tonight and I said you don't keep watching it and I had no sort of begin with him I and my brother he has a story that he could write eight books you know my dad this came through this wash this all clean so to to to come still around he died about four years ago four or five years ago not for sure I didn't go to the funeral but I forgave them so I saw my dad through an eight-year-olds eye so it was always left when I was eight and then that 22 I went back just seeing through a grown man's eyes and he's the same person I remembered but I had to you can't live with hate you cannot move forward as much as that guy try to ruin all of her lives that's where I came from I had to figure out the origin of where I started from so when I was going back to life trying to fix Who I am the fuck that person I was like if your knee hurts is usually not your fucking knee that's hurting there's something else man like it could be a tight quad it could be the right leg if it's the left leg you gotta find out the origin of where all this shit began and it was him so I had to go back to where you know my roots and the origin of all this happened and it's hard to do that did you make peace with them I'm a big piece with so we didn't have a peaceful conversation we you know we left very garanimal he's a he's a he's a vicious man he was a vicious man I mean medieval motherfucker so I had become a medieval motherfucker that time I was 22 and I was the big boy and so I was no longer the guy who was afraid it was not like hey I want to kill you type of shit and we were sitting at Denny's after an all-night skate or whatever the hell no he owned bars and skating rinks like that and so we were sitting down and we kind of got into it and I was kind of left and but I had to make peace with it in myself like I could not hold on to that hate cuz hold on to that hate was half the reason why I kept falling into the same pattern of failing I had to get I start dumping off some baggage I had to start figuring out me through him and that's all he was there for he was the origin I had to figure him out figure out why he was so evil to my mom to me my brother and I to start studying him like a lot of people have situations where someone does something and we all attacked that person like like on the media if someone does something wrong everybody now is fucking perfect and we now judge this guy I don't judge him I don't judge anybody what I do is I start studying them why did they do that not in a judging way I want to learn from you and what you get out of your dad I got that he was he grew up rough he had he was very insecure had a lot of kids and his insecurities just trickled over onto us so yeah he jacked us up real good but he never fixed himself so if you never fix yourself the next person in line is gonna get the wrath and we were next in line you know his his first wife you know killed herself or whatever happened and you know got burnt up in the house or something some craziness and his life stuff that goes on there that putting a book is I don't like going to court you know but uh yeah that's all it was law stuff you know one of the great parts about this book is that you you detail exactly what was going to your mind in terms of like your weaknesses and how you had failed and and then you it's not just one time like you you do the thing in high school where you get your shit together and then you join the military and then you wind up getting fat again and then when you got you and you have to lose what 106 pounds in three months up to to qualify for seal try SEAL training yep that's insane yeah because what I realized at that time once again I failed again I thought so what you're talking about is I took this as map test you know I didn't know how to read him right pretty much in high school I was like a fourth grade reading level and I took that test a few times and I finally passed it and when I passed it I actually drove my car to the to the daggone airport and watched planes take off because I was like I'ma be on one of those planes one day going to Air Force bootcamp so I I never I always fixed the things on the surface so if I couldn't read him right and learn to read him right I I would always fix these things on the surface level and so whenever something hard was like raising ugly head I didn't have any kind of tools to handle it all right man i thought i fixed this already man but nah i didn't go deep into the dungeon of my soul and say okay what is making you a quitter what is making you a weak man what is making you afraid and so that's why I kept on quitting and going back to start or not knowing how to get through hard times and that's why I was telling people I'm not a theorist I didn't study like you know I didn't study a fucking book I literally put myself in a fire repeatedly like a sword you put a sword in a fire repeatedly repeatedly if you keep on doing that you're gonna get a nice sword and then keep on beating it you got to beat the shit out of it and that's what I am yeah I I became that much I said okay we can't quit we got to figure out why you are this pussy why are you this pussy man what is wrong with you what's going on here so I kept on putting the sword back in the daggone fire and I just beat it harder and I beat it harder before I knew I start realizing hmm all right ma'am the brain is starting to get hard the brain is starting to get hard I'm no longer a theorist I'm now a practitioner I put it in hell I dissected it while it's in hell can you can't dissect anything in a normal environment you can't dissect anything in 72 degree weather you must put it in the fucking freezer and freeze the fuck out of it and then you dissect it dissect it when it's miserable dissect the brain when all this thinking about I need to get out of here man I want to get out of the fucking freezer open the door and he said nah five more seconds man five more seconds in the freezer and a sneeze tried to pick that brain apart and that's what all this stuff did to me I kept on putting myself back into the freezer or the fire and beating the shit out of myself mentally and physically before I knew it this is what happened Wow it's an interesting way to self teach yes like most people that you know you talk to that a discipline they you know they have something that they read that inspired them they have certain people that they look up to there's certain you know coaches that taught them there's certain important moments in their life but for you it's a system of failure and and reflection and then rebooting that's it repeat it failure and people think a lot of times to tell me that I'm angry oh my god you so angry you cuss so much oh my god so much are you still crazy if you read my book I cannot explain my life by saying hey it was a merry fucking Christmas man no it wasn't I want you I want you to go there with me I'm taking you there with me I'm a storyteller I want to take your ass down paradise where I sold the house I lived in in Buffalo New York I got my ass beat every day funny we lived on Paradise Road and there was anything but fucking paradise so I want you to go there with me you want to learn from me let me take your ass home take you there so that's the whole thing about it man we're scared to dive into our lives what made us who we are the beautiful people that we are we're all jacked up in so many ways that's the beauty of us that's the beauty of me I'm jacked up but I figured out my own little process on how to get on jacked up and how did I'm not gonna get the same you know I'm not gonna get the same way you're gonna get there you may get there about going point A to point B I'm gonna go point C to D to eat it I don't to be there the same way you are just a little harder that's how I train my brain so it's just different different different thinker when you stop and think about all the different times that you did have to reboot and how you you found like new goals and you found new inspiration you fired up a new discipline and you became stronger and harder and you got one of the things that people always look for in life they look for a point where they can rest [Laughter] they loved that expression the Golden Arrows they loved that expression yeah they loved the they loved the idea of a struggle as long as it ends and then when it ends they're gonna have a nice comfortable spot it must yeah the suffering must end yeah you should relax man you've done so much that's right you've really done so much but this the idea of reaching this golden year is is it's a very flawed idea because it's an idea that you're gonna you're gonna work hard but then you're gonna reach the finish line but there's no finish line no doesn't exist that's the scary thing about life my friend that is a scary thing right and that's what fatigues me people though man why don't you ever smile there's no fucking in my friend there's no end I know that you're you're you're going to meet campaigns after this yes sir and listen please if you guys run put a number of that miles that you're going to run and leave it at that do not say let's see you both die cuz that's a hard man he is a hard man when Haynes is a hard man he will run until you die or he dies he's a hard man do he doesn't he does those two 40s yes ultra he's a sick fuck see those are the guys I'm looking for yeah that's a scary do you don't do too you guys you need to pick a number I know I think you guys gonna run 35 miles good texting back and forth try and make it you know trying to make it sensible oh yeah so we don't go off the chain cuz if one of you motherfuckers wakes up and has a good strong espresso I know you know this new race that they're doing where they're you run for one hour you run like as many and then you have like a bell rings and then you sit down for a little bit you know what I mean like you there's like a four point one seven mile thing yep it's that sick fuck what was the guy's name that created that like I did the Berkeley marathon yes he talked about last yeah this crazy fuck laughs so he had people running for days and days and days he invited me out there for this race yeah I actually got into the Berkeley last year but couldn't do it because the book so I'm supposed to do it this year but now you know we'll see you again how the schedule goes but yeah that that's a sick sick man I've done a couple of his races like he has one called strolling Jim I actually won that one in 2016 but he's a he's a sick man as a straw throwing Jim race it is probably easiest race it's like it's like through the backcountry of Tennessee it's a forty one mile race on the road it's one the first you know ultra marathons out there ever and my mom lives in Nashville so is like an hour drive I went up there and it was like my first race is back after me being all sick and jacked up for so long and I got lucky had a good race and I happen to want it you know you were talking about so ice muscle yeah and all that we have this thing now that we've got that what does that call the pro so right so right if you ever used what happened awesome I saw it in there that that little black contraption that hard plastic thing is phenomenal it's evil man yeah yeah it's good amazing I started getting tightness in that when I was running a lot like I had never gotten tightness in that area before yes it seems like that's a running thing right is there anything also a very stressed thing mmm you know if you're real stressed out man like for me I talked about the origin like I'm where things start my body was so wrapped tight I didn't know where we're start yeah so I started with the psoas muscle so that's a real good spot well the problem with these races is probably the problem with people like you that's the problem with these races like if you get you and another you right and they're in there together like you motherfuckers are gonna kill each other so long day it's a long day they're doing a Last Man Standing right yeah like the first person to quit yeah it's a real long day man I mean I've been up I got a couple of Hillary's under my belt me I know how to sail 430 hours and move yeah and I know how to self motivate a lot of motherfuckers are self motivate man like we like to put the headphones on yeah like before the big game and listen to the music yeah what the fuck did you do when the headphones come off bro it's you and your own mind right I know how to do that that's that's the hard part remember listen to music when you run never never told you James cheat is that video I got well I talked about like running with music and no what did you say I find it find the video will play it I might not be able play it we get this is somebody else's content I actually uh but I did during my last pull up record I listened to you know that song from Rocky one around 14 when rocky gets knocked down the corner I listened to that two minutes and 13 seconds long listen I'll repeat for 17 hours Merry Christmas Merry Christmas man 17 hours man I went to such the dark dark evil I have a picture in my hand the book I was in a dark I went to I went to a place man that I'm like I can do anything here we got a live here for a while oh can I keep on filling that record like I don't want to see a pull-up bar again I mean like I did 67,000 Pulis man and I just admire I like I can't I don't wanna see no pull-up so I'm doing this come hell or high water man I I broke it out it's just a bit let me hear this let me this place so I've never trained with music there's a reason why I'll do that the music's not going to always be there the TV the distractions all these external things I'm gonna gym right now and all this loud music people needed to get fired up they needed to stay motivated the niggas stay in the fight they get into this goal in the gym to do whatever trying to do what do you do they have no external motivation turtle who say to yourself how you gonna fire yourself up what's that flame inside of you that keeps you going like that keep going like this and when you're doing this the whole time you're doing this you're doing some of the hardest chin-ups you can do you got a chain around your neck right the post folks that are just listening and you're pulling down on ropes you're doing chin-ups on it looks like taped up ropes yes sir that's what it is yeah those are grip yeah that's like jiu-jitsu guys do a lot of those yes I was I spoke to the University of Alabama and they were in there you know most you know most these athletes man they got to get height so that music is blaring yeah I'm like man what that shit comes off and you get popped in your fucking mouth yeah headphones on the sidelines brother yeah we can say to yourself then so that's that's how I train my mind man I train my mic I'm no one get popped in my mouth man I'm gonna get popped in the back of an alley one day a man running around doing what I do and there's to be no music ya better fight you never figured out I told you Jamie's cheating I was telling when I first started running people said do you run with music there's no run-ins cheating when you have music on it's cheating you're cheating you listen to music but now I listen to music all the time but more than I listen to music I listen to books yeah what books on tape audiobooks and yours is like I said it's been the last two weeks it's been my running partner I appreciate that man just supporting the nominal man that's phenomenal and you're doing this kind of independently right yeah so what I did man is I pissed off a lot of people I was I so in 2012 I got an offer from my book for $30,000 I said you can go fuck yourself you know what he'll I went through brother so then everybody was like you know we don't see a market for a black guy ultrarunner fat guy who couldn't read like you know 15 percent of America's black you know I want to see me fucking you know people will buy on your book they think only black people will buy your book there's some ignorant people out there man everybody that follows me is white I don't have a bug like three black for hoseman event was just Larry's the big fatties black yeah he's like he's like an unusual species outside man like and so I'm sitting walking around going man you don't even know who like everybody talked to is white like you know it's the ignorance of the world and I'm in these meetings hearing this kind of stuff so now 2018 I get a $300,000 offer for a first time author so I'm sitting back you know I'm like my god man you know I used to make like fucking $60,000 a year you know this is the biggest payday yet and I started thinking I took that one sec I talked about the one second decision a lot about what I went through my life what I've done and I was like you know what I struggled so hard in my life I went through so much that the biggest trophy I own now is that book the biggest trophy I don't know it's not the book is selfish what's in the book mmm it's what like I don't give a fuck if that sells my copy honest to god man like like my what I did and that's what I hope people understand your life in the journey you put yourself through there's no there's there's nothing more than that and that's all I want people to do is realize that you have to struggle you have to struggle the bigger the struggle the bigger the piece the bigger the suffering the more piece I'm not just saying this cuz you here but this book is valuable this book is very valuable it's valuable to people like anybody that you know I mean the biographies are very always valuable when you get to see the mindset of a person who's done things that you haven't done you get to understand like that they're overcoming sort of the same sort of situations in their mind that you are same insecurities and pitfalls yeah everybody's going through it man yeah everybody that's that's one thing I say I'm blessed that way that my story there's no colour involved in it it's a human story about struggle and I happen to be in so many different situations that so many people can relate to about struggle that I guarantee you mark my word you read that book there will be a section of that book that resonated use our core it will make you think if if you're not ready to think about your life and think about you know where you can be and think about what you haven't done the books not for you if you're not ready to self notice you really self reflect and hold yourself a countable for where you're at and where you're not the book is not for you is real I've read a lot of self-help books and I've listened to a lot of self-help books on tape too and a lot of just some of them that I have to shut off I have to shut off a quarter way and I feel like someone's lying to me I just like you're bullshitting me you're just saying things I'm not this doesn't resonate with me doesn't it's not working like I'll give it a chance I'll give it a chance but if I'm you know half hour in two hours in it's still the same nonsense I don't feel anything right gettin itchy listening to you you know I just want to pull the headphones off and I'll just kill it stop it this is the total opposite this one man I was I was good I was running extra mile so I could stay with the headphones on and the the thing that I think is gonna happen with this book is people gonna get it they're gonna get a hold of whether it's an audio book or the or the book book and they're gonna they're gonna recommend it and then it's gonna spread like wildfire this is a powerful book this is a real self-help book this is like this is a real one like it's not like someone orchestrates this whole thing like what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna become a motivator right I'm gonna be a personal influencer I'm gonna be that guy that goes out there and tells people you can optimize your life and there's so many of those fucking guys out there right yeah That's not me I know this one dude I ran into him recently I ran into him with this restaurant he's fat as fuck he's got this big old belly and I know he does these these motivational things and I'm looking at him like what are you talking about man right weak right look at your body look at your own temple look at your meat vehicle you're riding around this fucking doughnut around your waist is just he was a funny look soft and like wake up bitch so many people are doing that now man people are talking this noise exactly and I see him yeah I know him I'm not gonna say names but I know I'm like man dude you know why my life is miserable right now because I can't go on your show right now your podcast if I didn't get after this morning so I cannot talk to people unless you're thin unless I'm authentic cuz I used to be the most unauthentic motherfucker on the planet now I have this voice man saying oh no I'll call you well if I lie to you about something even a white lie hey yo Joe guess what dude I fucking lie female like that wasn't real like it will bother me that background you know so another thing I didn't which funny ball this book stuff man I didn't set out to write a book like literally man when I was 24 years old on accounts fat's praying for cockroaches eating doughnuts and drinking milkshakes I did not plan on doing this all I wanted to do was change the fucking reflection in that daggone mirror this is all this to Bob it's it's it's a byproduct of of that and that's that's the funny thing about like it was like oh my god David Gaga's but you know what tell you I'm like what the fuck that's why it works though unbelievable it works because you really did do it you really did do all those things and you show how you did it and you're not using any bullshit theatrical jargon no you're not you know you're you know you're not saying a bunch of buzzwords can you live the life of an actualized person I can show you how and you look in this guy talking he's gonna neck like a pencil and is his body's just frail I don't even understand adversity you don't understand overcoming this is not the secret you know is it about the law of fucking attraction yeah they say no attraction here brother this ain't no attraction to your man yeah I love nonsense this is no nonsense no nonsense this is a real self-help book man this is the real deal that's how you self-help you self-help by people have done it and you learn what they did and you realize there's no shortcuts right and then you learn to embrace that no shortcut mentality and enjoy enjoy the suffering and the grind of n what we talked about earlier there's no fucking finish line doesn't exist you know what's funny about that is I have people now so when I was in the worst part of my life those people want to bring you back in those people's like like you can see who you hang out with like when you and your worst and when you trying to get better with what makes it hard to get better is that you are hanging around people who I let's say you are an alcoholic you hang around people who drink and I say you want to stop drinking those people want to bring you back in like I used to be this guy this guy who was know who wasn't worth anything now those people who are still there they're sixteen seventeen eighteen thirty years ago they try and get you back there so the hardest part you guys see who you hanging with man you gotta hang out with the people who you want to be like the most yeah people will definitely drag you know Jackie down and especially if you around someone that makes a lot of excuses and I was failing oh those is just like there they're the opposite of inspiration they're like a vacuum sucking it out of you why are you doing that today man why you get up again so early why are you doing this why are you doing this the people you hang around it will suck the fucking life out of you yeah sometimes just gotta be a long man get your shit in and then there's also people that are gonna be around that are always failing and always fucking up and then always coming to you to try to get you to help them exact um a giant burden yes never look in the mirror and get their own shit together those looking for external health that's right always looking for story people don't want to go in deep man all the answers are inside of you it's a very primitive way how this book is written is primitive it's this it's very barbarians it's how we all think it's not it's how a man once walked the earth and then we get all soft and all these computers and shit we say we start going away from the most powerful thing we have is our fucking brain is our mind and we don't use anymore so you know it's like everything has to be so quick yeah you use your mind when it comes to certain things right but what you're saying is you don't use your mind when it comes to enduring exactly that is it you can't Google that shit right hey let me Google how to suffer hey Kobe in there bro hey go be in there hey Kobe in there it doesn't exhaust find some water real cold and what's interesting is that that is a mind thing and people think of mind things they think of calculating mathematics literature no no no there's many aspects of them that's it don't overthink it yeah no ever think it put your shoes on lace them up it's how you got to do my friend don't overthink the process yeah but see what because you've overcome and because you've accomplished so much now that even when you you talk about that moment of like embracing that suck like you see the biggest smile in your face like you've you've got a total different approach to it than the average person oh yeah the average person you talking to them about doing chin-ups for 24 hours or anything I'm fucking crate they don't look at it like oh there's like a- a doom feel that's the thing about it man I talk about my book open-mindedness what separates me from a lot of people is they go into an a daunting task and the task is overwhelming like when I heard the pull-up rack was 4,000 and 20 pull-ups not talking about breaking this record people are like oh my god I went right to a pen and paper thing what are you doing I'm doing the math man every Tompa I'm open mind to the fact that okay if I do 5 pull-ups in a minute for some of you hours I can get something pull-ups in how much time that the rest I was breaking the math down you have to be open-minded to the possibilities that I can do this once you shut your mind down to the possibility that it can be a cheese is no way it can happen so that's why my my eyes and my body light up about things because I know that if you're in a fight you have to attack you have to keep attacking the enemy has to know he is not going to give up you must break the soul of whatever the fuck is in front of you that's what I realized I was never breaking the soul of anything in front of me so that's why I came with the thing called taking souls in my book I started to devise ways to break a soul of a human being of an object of whatever's in front of me if you keep on attacking something nothing wants to stand in front of anything that is relentless nothing did taking soul part of the book is really interesting because you talked about like the the mind shift that you had when you were in buds yes sir yeah that was it that's an intense part of the book yes it is a that's when a lot of stuff started clicking man I start watching those instructors on the side because know there's there's three shifts there's eight instructors three shifts good you know the guy's going to do hell week they're up all day and all night 430 hours this is the promised land of mental hardening for me I love this place and you have the instructors who know you know they've been there done that now they're instructing you so they do their eight-hour shift they have their parkas on it's usually cold coffee drinking their coffee and they're beating the crap out of us and when I start to realize I start playing mind games like you know what but these fuckers are looking at us judging themselves about when they were going through hell week about let me see I'm looking at Goggins right now I was better than him I was betting that cos betting that fucker over there and I was like okay okay you got something to do to you so what I started doing was I got my beaucoup beaucoup - it's in the book is a great great story said camera guys you can't break boat crew - you can't break bro crew - so Ria's Wednesday is Wednesday never has broken ever has beat up man in like this I mean you start moon like a robot everybody's like just kind of just trying to get through hell week now and your Energy's at and they know Wednesday's like that over the hump a lovely you talked about that in the book - that they put it in your head oh yeah Wednesday you're gonna be tired yeah and that's nothing they they tell you how you're supposed to feel so you are feeling that way that's like ah don't let these motherfuckers tell you how you supposed to feel know it's day one motherfucker this is our one so I always get my boat crew all jacked up I said we could take these motherfucker souls so when they had us doing a simple thing that guys are struggling with Roku 2 is just washing the fucking boat and you're yelling yeah you can't fucking hurt us can't hurt boat crew - and I looked on the instructors faces and it looked like someone had just fucked with their soul and I looked at my guys in the book and I said hey guess what those motherfuckers aren't fucking tonight can we own space in their fucking head Rhian space they're gonna think about us tonight they could think about how these killing boners that's right how on Wednesday are these guys doing this and screaming out you can't hurt in care - we were we were bringing the fight we were attacking so when you keep on doing that guess what people start doing I ain't fucking with these guys no more so bro crew - got a lot more sleep well crew - just became that beaucoup like a because we just kept charging and we started fueling off of that we started feeling out the fact that man it takes one second of energy to steal everybody's and then you have all the energy you need it's all you need you need to look at someone's eyes you know how this when you fight somebody you broke that motherfucker he's like oh god man I don't want to go back to the next round and you feel like my god I can fight all day I can fight all long that's what taking souls is but you have to have the will to heart the courage to go that distance when you're exactly jacked up we have nothing left to give and give more there's an interesting thing about the mind is that you can find inspiration and when you find inspiration when you get charged up all of a sudden you have energy that's right it's right it's weird I talked about in the book also is about I've learned how to control my adrenals if you know how you know how you get that fight-or-flight response when you get to move real quick yeah and you know I I started learning the mind a lot how to get myself jacked extremely fast like in a horrible environment when everybody's miserable I've learned how to really find strength in the misery when everybody's suffering everybody's all poopy past and different counties down and everything I started just like my god this is where I shine I start using all that misery for tons and tons of tons of Drive and motivation to to then lead people further because you can get a lot of power through misery and once people see that my godness is fucking going then everybody says Roger that let me get my shit and go too so I started realizing that if you can just find strength just a little bit longer you will have a crew of people following you along the way and that is another thing that no one can ever teach you this is you you're gonna have to learn that on your own you're gonna have to figure out how to pull that energy out of your mind on your own there's not there's there's no book you can read that all sudden I have it I've got the technique now I know how to do it ya know it's it's a grind that you have to start and finish on your own you have to take great pleasure in the fact that no one wants to be with a fuck you're at right now great pleasure in that almost makes you know it have to bring a passion idea has to bring something very very weird out of you man like you know people don't really understand what that is when you're in the worst environment possible the worst situation possible and everybody's looking like god I hope this ends and you see that time slows down and you see that you're you're feeling that everybody has that look on their face I goddess gotta go I don't want to be any more have you ever gotten robbed Oh robbed on my lord oh yes sir did you get it yes sir yes sir when did you get I got it on my second pull up record attempt and I talked about it a little bit in the book there and it max me I have sickle cell trait and a young kid just died from rhabdo from sickle cells not a good thing obviously and grab grab those a bad thing for having sickle cell you have sickle cell trait but you derive the disease I had the disease my buddy mine died from it when I was a kid really yeah I used to fight with I used to train with yeah he was always sick he'd have it to get sick it's horrible be gone be out of the gym for months and come back and just be trying to get his body back in shape again that gets ya anyone I'm dying he's a talented guy too when you got it what did you have to do so they put me in a hospital for a while that's what my hand got real messed up and my fluids were extremely low and I had done like I did 3000 pull-ups and they're like man your body is wrecked up we just not drinking water while you're doing I was drinking water but not enough so I was sipping this carbohydrate drink mm-hmm and my calories are extremely low I don't know how much I was gonna burn through and you burn through an awful lot of calories man doing that when you pull up to that many hours you know and with the repetition with using the single points of just my hands and my biceps on my back like my body was swollen like the Pillsbury Doughboy I mean it looked horrible and I'm so they kept me in there for awhile but how long probably about eight hours I was intubated hours and all the IVs and stuff like that so they just basically ignored of it you know tons of fluid and they sent me home though so I go home that night and how long did you wait before you jump back at it I think I was back on the pull-up bar about a week and a half later and then I broke the record six six weeks later I broke the record Jesus Christ so when you when you did get back on the pull-up bar it was how fucked up was your body from it was bad but what I do is like I've done through everything it was real smart I mean it works for me so I'm not saying do this is I've trained through a lot of my injuries and I started developing I started doing that in butts and SIL training because I still train you know they know you got start from day one or they just kick you out so I started from day one enough so my third time going through I was really jacked up but you went you had pneumonia yeah I had pneumonia and I had really bad stress fractures so my stress fracture so I was literally I would put a sock on and then duct-taped my foot all the way up to the top of my or to the min of my Inc or attended my calf and cut my stress fractures were so bad so at the pivot point between my ankle in my shin I just casted that all the way up and so I went through for several months for a few months with stress fractures what was crazy about that is they healed by the time I got the third phase my stress fractures were healed Wow and I don't even know how Rama reason behind it I ran on him a few months later they were healed Wow so I don't know what that is push through the agony and eventually your body just said this crazy fuck is not gonna stop its true statement yeah it's weird a lot of my injuries I've just pushed through and they've I duck tape it up I hope you never have surgery no just heart just a couple heart surgeries but um none of my actual physical body and what was your heart surgery for again you talked about this before yeah ASD I had a whole new heart yeah so we talk about more ridiculous yeah that's what we talked about that too man they uh they took me off and studied me for a while so they realized that my god yeah I shouldn't even be in the military I wasn't qualified to be the military to hole in the heart you know let alone be in Special Operations we jump in our planes and stuff like that so I was I was lucky how'd they seal that up so they winning with the helix patch and you know through my femoral artery femoral artery and they went through put a patch and they realized you know I missed like three or four years of a military career because that's heart surgery Wow yeah so I was I was off of jump status dive status I was just so that's what's all about recruiting so much I stayed in recruiting for like three or four years and you know I became like if Navy SEAL recruiter when I was uh you know doing this for a while so I got extended there because the heart surgery and that other than that you'd never had to have any other surgeries um no meniscus no nothing no that's crazy no and I've had some jacked-up injuries but see how I grew up you know like I talk about in the book my dad and believe in taking him by the hospital like that's how it was man it was it was barbarian stuff man but you know you learn to deal with it and you live it you're fine you get hard MRIs oh yeah get nothing checked out matter of fact me I was terrified MRI machine for long time I lost focus like man that's it yeah there's a lot of this lot behind that man but yeah I've been checked out while I've had so like I said like six years ago I started stressing out like I was dying I couldn't even get a bed so all that stretching that was from pretty much all these injuries I had that I never really fixed and my body got knotted up and more knotted up and more knotted up in me it's gonna heal one way or another it's gonna heal and when it heal it's not a hill right so heal all jacked up and crooked yeah so I'm a crooked jacked up dude man but I still get it to her it's amazing that you haven't had like knee surgeries or anything like that consider all the running and I've done my left knee right now is in there's no joke so like I say origin of pain my right foot is messed up because my left knee so right now I'm taking care of my left knees getting lot better now but don't worry Cameron Haines I got me fucking out there running with your ass I'm not gonna get out of it buddy so if you listenin motherfucker I will see you this weekend Merry Christmas all right just so you know brother Merry Christmas I'll see you soon you don't know what's wrong with the knee you have no idea it's from stretching so basically retching yeah so my whole cuz my body was in such bad alignment from just what I did to it mm-hmm that now I'm on this huge stress routine and my body's getting back into alignment so your muscles like I was a power lifter man like I I grew these huge muscles now on this small guy and I just and from the stress of my body going through hell weeks and also my body's got became one knot so as things start to open up joints start to hurt things start to hurt and I'm like God so it's been this big long process so I'm better safe than ever my organs work better I'm healthier than ever but I have these little tweaks here these little tweaks they're from the fact that I am now my body was locked into position mmm from these muscles being so tight now what do you weigh now about 180 to 183 and you were like 300 plus pounds for you got your father stir my fattest we're not waiting it for the military I don't know my fattest would but when I weighed in I'm at scale when Steven Sal hit that scale on me man I was 297 and he's like brother you gotta lose a hundred and six pounds I was like fuck this I can't are you talking about other how's it possible so it just you know I had a lot of time that's the crazy um they didn't give you three months to lose that 33 pounds a month is a lot of fucking weight plus a few and what's impossible and that's what I thought that's why I thought but see you see the person him now yeah I was a hurtin 75 pounds in high school so I was I'm a skinny guy in high school so I made myself big I'm a small bone person so it it wouldn't it trust me it was hard it was hardest thing I've ever done in my life but what did people think around you when they saw you three months later you're a hundred pounds light and my mom couldn't believe it can my mom so I was living in a puss in the end of the time and so I was trying to study for this ass bap test again that you know I gotta take it again going in the Navy and I'm out here trying to lose weight and I'm you know working for this company spraying for cockroaches and also crap and I would lay in her pond in fucking November in Indiana just lay in her pond I was like I'm going to bus I get hard you know so I lay in the pond gallop on and go for a run just all wet cold like the daggone shirt with his fries up from ice and shit and I see out there run and said what is wrong with you man like you were that kid who just didn't want to push around with you so she started seeing the transformation like an you know this guy is obsessed which I become somebody nestings new man my god you actually lost that much weight that fast I love the fact that you did it but what what hurts me is when I hear stories about people to get like stomach stapling and surgery and all that shit that they do like you just need to just lose the weight alright and if you just did it you just did it the right way you would earned it and if you earn it you'll keep it that's the thing about it man like we like to take these very quick fixes in life we want the 6-minute ABS approach to life you know nah man there's no permanent in that yeah there's no permanent in that man there's no scarring they must be scarring well people are terrified of this thing that you're saying that there's no end that there's no finish line that every day is and the thing that you have to earn it still after all the shit you've done every day you get up and you have to earn it yes and it was funny about that I want you to be scared of it yeah fuel it's great motivation and see if you look at that way the reason why I speak the way I speak because I believe in long saying if I ever shut it down that's the end of me and whatever my hundred percent will be I don't know this could happen to me tomorrow if you can't run I will figure what the fuck I can do and do that that would be my new hundred percent you must continue to find your new 100 percent whatever life throws at you you must find what you can do now I may become the best you know scientist of all time who knows watch out you know saying who knows well that is an approach like this this approach this mental approach you can use that for anything once you get past the quitting mechanism of your mind get past that thing that this is applicable you can you can take these lessons that you learn from these grueling runs just losing 106 pounds in three months from all these different things of struggle you can take these lessons of struggle and you can apply them to anything yes I talk about it in my book here about that race I did that made SIL training look like a like a child's play in range of school that the first hundred mile or I did write shit on myself and all kind of stuff that 19 hours it took me with no training I summon up like this you're talking about struggle how how you can put so much of life into struggle in that 19 hours I lived five years five years of struggle of happiness of depression success failure in eighteen hours that's what's great about some of these things I do you get a a wide range of life in just 19 hours you know like when you get to like mile 50 in your mind saying we gotta get out of here man and you gets like mile CC okay we're feeling good you have all these highs and lows that you have to manage within this suckfest of 19 hours and that's what I get from a lot of these different things that human growth you know growth of the mind without friction there is no growth without friction there's no growth there's no growth and there's no satisfaction mm-hmm like there's no really like people want to sit around and rest but you don't really appreciate rest unless you earned it that's it and people get they think I'm the craziest person on the planet you are so far fucking removed from that state was not even funny I was 290 pounds twice in my life I do not like to do the things I do but the shoe mungus satisfaction from doing it the shoe mungus aspects from lacing your shoes up saying I don't really want to go for a run today and then running and then getting back and saying wow I did it I did it yeah and that's what it's about it's about these small steps to doing things you don't want to do you know Jocko chuckling I know him yeah Jacko's don't know him great but I know I know him pretty well he's awesome but every morning you look at that motherfuckers Instagram he's got a picture of his watch at 4:30 he gets up at 4:30 every morning and he earns his sunrise ESCA still works out like a motherfucker and then earns a sunrise that's good stuff but it's that thing that there's no end not as an end and scary scary scary everybody wants that holding hands while the Sun sets Oh tire man you walk it off into the sunset because question I get is so when do you rest mmm when did you recover yeah and I don't want to scare people but the truth answer is I don't take any days off no days no seven days a week seven days a week look what is it a normal day normal day for me a normal day so let's say a light day light day light day is at least a seven mile run I will every every fort every other day so about four days a week um calisthenics plus gym workout so I don't do any gym workout without hitting pull-ups push-ups are called nickels and dimes so like five pull-ups ten push-ups or I'll go you know quarters and whatever likes like 25 pull-ups or in like 50 pushups so I have all these different things I messed up so I will do weights with calisthenics and every single night I stretch for at least every night I stretch for these two hours two hours every night every night so you stretch after you're done working out yeah so at night time usually I'll be either in a quiet room or I'll be watching TV or good I love sports I'll be watching the game and I'm on the floor man and that's what I do so you just stretch while you're doing stuff I stress why I do stuff two hours a long-ass time to stretch is this just because you're trying to correct all trying to correct years of not doing that no years of did you ever fuck with yoga a lot yeah Yoga says shit what do you do huh I have my own yoga mmm so I kind of in my own little yoga for what my body needs I've done hot yoga several times yoga's huge yoga shoes like holding those positions you know I'm bigging holding for a long period of time so that's where my stretching the other people said no whole stretches for a long time I'm holding for a long period of time I'm trying to get full range of motion a lot of people going for like stuck on like my shoulders all messed up I get surgery on it now if you don't have full range of motion in your body don't go in and get cut on man until you know that your body is actually opened up you know we start to get knuckle dragger syndrome from doing ice push-ups you never work your back you know like you're like I'm like I'm your rear delts so here you are you start punching over before you know it your joints are out of whack you need to get full range of motion before you know how fucked up you truly are hmm so I'm always working on full range of motion like a kid they run so effortlessly they're always on full range of motion as you get older and tighter and sit and more stressed your body starts to get more and more tight therefore your shoulders start to get out of balance not another joint and on a socket therefore you know is popping yeah it's popping because you're fucking tight open it up first open it up you can't can you touch your hands behind you children and raise them up behind you you know it's all these different ranges of motion that I get real smart on from a guy and I took it to another level so are you do you work with a trainer I do always work out by yourself everything I do I've never got training my entire life really never not one time do you read about physiology or exercise science or anything like that nothing nothing nothing but what about like when they learn new shit about new ways to you know enhance shoulder stability or new exercises you're not interested no I don't I don't do for that reason it's till this day man still this day is to this day it is for me to become better mentally mmm how I look has just become a like I have thousands thousands hundreds of thousands of miles on this body running pull-ups push-ups swimming whatever you wanna call it this body is what it is now it's from repetition it's not from studying you know how if you hold your plank for this long fuck all that bullshit I don't care about it I just do it for my mind right I want to continue to harden it because that's the only thing I want that's what I want I want to have that mind ready for life but you also want to increase your range of motion though yeah razor motion should make sure that your you you know you're not causing any additional injuries dude wouldn't you want to like stabilize some areas that maybe feel like you might have weaknesses and find out new techniques to do that have you see me with my shirt off no yeah this day was fuck Dave got here early and by the time I got here he was already doing chin-ups stable state we do some pull-ups pushed us past some stable shit yeah but yeah but you know all that stuff is very important honestly just all jokes aside man full range of motion getting your shoulder rotation all that stuff is very important I learned a lot about that coming up I had a lot of people I worked out with out there are real smart about all the stuff I'm a real old-school meat-eater like Bill Kazmaier type of lifter you know I look like it back when I was that guy back of the skinny guy that's what I did and I got off really big into human performance about the body strength fitness I said I wanted to be I want to be a hybrid motherfucker a guy that can run 200 miles and then go to the gym with your meathead who doesn't even who's scared of running and lifts with him so that's my whole thing in life I want to be the guy who can run two miles with the skinny guys and then go to the gym with the big medians it's okay load it up let's go so that was the whole thing that's a very difficult thing to tie the two of them together when you think most people when you think ultra marathon runners or people that run long distances is they're very thin right very thin guys like when you were talking about the first time you ran a hundred miles that you did deadlifts the night before like that is just fucking preposterous nobody does that no yeah so me and the guys talked about the book it's silverback gorilla is what I call him in the book I've never doing him obviously but yeah he saw me going to my car and not before my first hundred mile race and you know I was like he called me out hey Goggins come here you know we're Navy SEAL cars yeah I got to push you through three whole weeks you're like you know what fuck I gotta go to gym and lift heavy now so we're doing squats deadlifts power cleans heavy bench presses and I'm thinking I have to run a hundred miles tomorrow but I also knew he was coming out there to watch me so I was like you know what you put me through three whole weeks you were my instructor so now it's my turn to educate you on what a human can do okay I know you could be sitting there thinking while you're watching me with your wife and your kid and you worked out with me not before we went real heavy did the heaviest shit were sore your turn you're gonna sit there while you watch me run around this one-mile track how the fuck is he doing that shit right now we lifted heavy as hell and he's running 100 miles and never has run past 20 miles his life I use that for a lot of fuel so that gym workout mr. silverback gorilla there was a lot for my mentality that I brought with me kind knew I would see you and he came at Mile 50 with a package of six doughnuts that I chopped up with the quickness so yeah so I used that workout for a lot of motivation I knew he'd see me I know he'd be thinking how'd you not get wrapped over that that you know what I don't know what I got that day but I talked about in the book again that when I went home that night or that morning that was single-handedly nothing even close I'm 43 years old now there's nothing even close to that pain I knew for a fact I wasn't we got that tub I knew I knew I was done I was talked about dehydrated no nutrition I was eating wrist crackers and my plex that was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my entire life I was pissing coca-cola out of me it was it was bad it was bad she probably did have Rob dog but I guarantee it I I guarantee I'm missing bad cola that's Coca Cola no bueno yeah no bueno saw it was bad and my ex-wife was like and she you know she's a nurse yeah and she called my mom up and mom had a her friend there was it was it was a doctor friend of her said hey you got given to doctor immediately and I was like eh you got give me that fucking phone I got called Chris Kaufman let him know I did 100 miles so I get into bad water it didn't go as like I feel like I planned but I did get in the bad water after another race but uh but didn't you do a marathon like later so basically I had never run a marathon right I did the hundred mile race first no training but I signed up for the marathon because it's a first las vegas marathon running down the strip of las vegas so las vegas ahead you know had a marathon but it's the first time is gonna go down the strip 2005 like hey i wanna sign up for it i went on to iraq did you know did deployment when I come back I'll be training for it and I go do this race with my family me my ex-wife and my mom signed up for it so in Iraq me and my boy sledge in the book we're just working out very like we're doing crazy workouts in my cardio was 20 minutes every Sunday on the elliptical trainer that's the only cardio I did so I'll call myself training for this marathon right so then you know my my boys got killed in that incident that happened lone survivor you know the whole Operation Red Wings so that's what prompted me to do the hundred mile race after the hundred mile race in November it was like two or three weeks later that marathon that we all signed up for that didn't train for I didn't train 400 mile race didn't do any training off of this like hey I'll Drive there with you all because I tried to run the day before like I can't even run I can't run down the block so I didn't do it so we were driving to the race I said hey mom my mom's gonna walk it I said I'm gonna walk it with you my ex-wife I said you can go ahead and take off do your thing run your race I don't walk my mom that gun went off and something fucking happen what I took up like a jackrabbit gone that's like what the hell so I read I was thinking awesome I was like man I couldn't I tried a hundred miles like three weeks ago like the first time ever I was peeing blood and piss and shit on myself I go my body's broken my achilles and my tennis and my feet are broken I go what is this and every time I started running further and further okay I got to the 10k I'm a Boston Marathon time but God knew the Boston Marathon I was like 310 59 for my age I'm like hey on a second and then I started using all this external shit for motivation like okay who the fuck can go out here and run a hundred miles no training I'm broken most broken up in my life now I'm running a marathon who could do it so I started just feeding myself feeding myself I get to half the mile I'm about 30 seconds off the pace I said hang on man you're Goggins you can do this shit man and I started feeding myself feeding myself feeding myself you can do this before I knew it man I got tied to like the last six miles and I was off the pace and I just kicked it and that next thing I knew I did like a 308 and change like and that was what the fuck what have I been leaving on the table right I've been leaving so much on the fucking table for pain and that's when I started like going crazy about the mine like what the hell am i tuck what is up I opened these different doors of like possibility then like what is humanly possible what are we capable of like you know people I didn't even know I was just amazed by what I was able to do by a simple fact of just reasoning and working with pain and pain management and and my mind has kept on growing from there and it happened in hell week it happened 200 my rest happened here and start just evolving into what it is now to where now I'm like God man the mind we are leaving so much on table what people take me he cusses so much she sounds crazy don't listen all that shit man just just cut the bullshit cut the bullshit just get to the weeds that you are you are fucking yourself up by not examining your brain you're not examining your brain messes it that's not you examine your fucking brain and that takes some hard work and suffering if you're not really do that I'm sorry and it's usually there's no way to do that as a bystander no you can't watch it man yeah you gotta get out there like oh this hurts this starts real fucking bad I don't think this is smart and then guess what happens the body will just it will adjust if I goes well then the next question I get but is there a time when it doesn't adjust I guess some of the stupidest shit man like don't don't take with the grain of fucking salt people's those questions and people they don't wanna clip yes yes and that's what I say when should I quit yeah like did you ever like feel like no shut the fuck up stop stop I know what do you like that there's always that next question no don't take it like go out there and run through a brick wall as many times as you can no I'm not saying be me don't run tours in five miles at one time I say and do that I'm saying start to learn the mind is powerful it's powerful man it's unbelievable but if people need they need a thing to get them going right they need a thing right I need a goal they need they need a like it's well sometimes the first step is the hardest I think it's hard to take that 1 million step to but sometimes the first step is the mole is something about the they start going over the phone they start calling people they don't let it out of the house right it's and there's something about procrastination it's like you know it's painful or you know you should be doing things but you just keep doing it you keep each in that step i procrastinate like a motherfucker man every day I want to do this shit that's what's so funny man people looking like I'm some damn superhero that came down from the guys from the heavens of Earth no man I don't want to do this shit I'm looking at my shoes for 30 minutes sometimes thinking man fuck man people people look up to you Goggins fucked him I'm like I won't do this shit man but guess what you do it I'm gonna do it as long as you do it and that's what I know about it that's why I stopped doing I'm thinking oh man you're gonna fucking sit here you look at your shoes for 30 or 40 minutes you go you're gonna think about all day long you go do it anyway and sometimes you don't have the time to look at issues for 30 minutes no those are the those are the beautiful days yes it's you know you just have to go that's right and so like there's no room for procrastination and that's when I when I was in the military I love my schedule cuz I'm going to be work at 7 o'clock so you better get your ass up at 4 o'clock man you get your shit in brother because I had to get my shit in before I got my shit in right you know so that was my mentality back then man you know like I had to get the miles and get everything in man and and get to work man I'm competing with the alpha males yeah but how much does that piss other alpha males off that you were you were imposing a very high bar I I was a very misunderstood human being Mouse in the military the Air Force guys liked me a lot the Rangers liked me a lot so much not the seals because they were with you they they didn't like me so much which is fine you know I I respect him I think a lot of and respect a lot of friends in the SEAL Teams I like I said like like-minded mentalities as me it wants to get me I grew up and I got over a lot of guys still have you know like they love people can't get over the fact of whatever when I became a SIL recruiter a lot of guys thought I wasn't deploying for a lot of reasons and whatnot and they I heard a lot I was that guy who grinded I grinded hard I mean I I grinded hard I was that guy who was up like if we went on an OP or we had a workup let's say we had a workup we're an island we're out there shooting guns and doing land warfare and we did it's like one o'clock in the fucking morning most everybody go to sleep I didn't go to sleep I was the gym and I worked out or I go asleep and I sent me to be up at 5 o'clock I was up at 4 o'clock and got an hour in I made sure to always do that and I I did it to a point to where I think it pissed some people off because I I want a quiet person about it you know I I want the most humble person always you know so when you're around alpha males you sometimes picking a fight you know all the time and I look different I act different I was different I am different I take a lot of pride in that and so you know if if you didn't get after it I didn't respect you because I believed that you know where I'm at I I know that human potential is what we have it's all we have is what we the the world sees us a certain way and when I saw that people weren't doing that I had a funky ass fucking attitude and I I owned it in my book I come back from Ranger school a big time leader I was a big-time fucking leader I got honor man out there I led by example and when I realized a lot of times when you're in these schools these schools people want to graduate these schools because they suck they don't want to ever go back to these schools mmm those schools became my fucking life people don't want to see a fucking God that wants to go back to day one week one a fucking Navy so training every fucking day of your life and that's how I live and it's a disgusting human being that I can be it is and a lot of people didn't like me a lot a lot of fucking people started some stupid shit and started saying this and that bombed lying man is my fucking resume says man my resume is out there googling motherfucker you say whatever you want to say about me man I I missed some diplomas man for having fucking you know two heart surgeries and people trying to start some rumors shit on me man you started rumor stood on me man because I fucking got the fuck after it real hard guys like a guy named hawk I talked to all time yeah he's a great friend of mine when the hardest my first before my heart surgeon my second heart surgeon I'm a 10-mile run before my second heart rate the day of it I want a 10-mile ruck 150 pounds I saw that guy he's like what the fuck are you doing out here we got a heart surgeon Roger that brother I'm getting him before him be out for about six months after the heart surgery God's my mentality because I started realizing at a young age when I was leading on the table and once I found out what a human being is capable of I didn't know how to control that I was I was a fucking you want talk about fucking Savage that's what I was I was a fucking straight-up people talk about Savage very likely I was fucking from the back woods motherfucking Savage dude you know and this I was just I was I told you what I thought I had eight chips on my shoulder I and a lot of times that wasn't great so is it a situation where like with the seals where once you've gotten through buds and once you've gotten through all the the physically grueling parts of getting to be accepted once you're in then you were imposing standards that they didn't wanna they didn't want to keep up with I would say some people you know I had a I had one platoons I had the problem with you know like I like I I graduate Ranger School and I and I got in a spittoon and I didn't see out of hockey I was in charge with PT program and you put me in charge the PT program is fucking your ass and the thing about it is I didn't like it either how do you I don't want to do this shit either man but what were you making them do like you know like I it was some Navy it was some budget you know we went back to bus like you know long pts and you're carrying logs over the berms and shit and like I'd had us do like pull-ups rope climbs pull-up like like out of like an hour so imagine doing a rope climb then go over dudes like 10 to 15 pull-ups coming back and we would do like these if they were very hard workouts like there was no like go to the gym lift some weights type of shit and I was imposing my own mentality on everybody these are grown-ass fucking men you know you know they don't want to be what I'm trying to make them to be and when they called me off like hey you know we're not in silt you know we're not buds anymore Goggins it pissed me off and I and I got a little fucking attitude got my chip and I got my ball and meet me and sleds went ahead and started to work out together and we developed this like me and sleds workout like fucking Garanimals and we had this fucking mentality of fuck yeah we're doing every day and everyone's kind of did their own thing man and I just that's when I started looking at people you know not just see people very differently Matt because I've been in to like you know like to be the special operator you gotta have broken legs and these guys all those stories I was the same guy man I I put people on a pedestal I put people I can never be them I can never be that guy man never put anybody at pedestal that's what happened to me I put him on a pest and once I got up there with him and I saw him and it wants to get not everybody some hard motherfuckers out there do you period dot hard motherfuckers I thought he every motherfucker was hard hey-ya uncommon amongst uncommon man that's all it was about for me man and I took it to another level and I pissed a lot of motherfuckers off and they were trying to find chinks in my armor then they were they were trying to find chinks in the armor you know all he does is run all he does is fucking run that's why I you know but once again I smell talk about the military too much like I said the Air Force loved me the army guys I work with love me the Ranger school all that stuff love me and I wasn't you know it's just what it is man it's a I was part of the Navy SEALs I was at I was a team guy but I wasn't part of the Brotherhood and that's just me man that's just me it ain't any say nothing bad about them I got a lot of love for a lot of them love my men got love for me vengo talk bad about them it's just I'm different it definitely I figured out I'm different from everybody in the fucking world and I had to own that and say you know what man you made a lot of the mistakes being it's being who you are and I should have been more of a leader at times but a lot of times a lot of people should've been a little bit harder - so was it that some of those guys just didn't want to work as hard or was it just that they were they weren't appreciating how competitive you were you were always against them is that what it was that it didn't foster the sense of brotherhood because you were more like come on pussy I didn't really call them pussies but you can look at my face and I looked at you and in your you can you can kind of say this you know so what happens I started developing this like this separation another thing about me - maths I don't go out I don't party I don't hang out with the guys I don't you know so I was always forming this kind of separation I'm a big time introvert you know I do my job and I want to see your fucking ass again I'm gonna go home refresh and we'll see you again you know you're here enough patooties guys four to two years sometimes year and a half and I would you know we work up do our shit and I I just I was just a different fucking cat I'm a different cat man like I uh you know I just I I think differently I believe differently and I believe strongly what I believe in when some people must appreciate the fact that were self-motivated and that you were pushing the envelope that you were pushing the face you were setting a high bar yeah I have a lot of guys right now within the community a lot of a lot of guys once again this is like it's like a big so proper sometimes man when you know when we when you in a fraternity like that that's what it's like man so I had to get a different vantage point look at it and see like you know a lot of guys did respect who I was and what I did and I I brought it fucking hard a lot and every day but I also rubbed people the wrong way I'm like that you're talking about I'm like that is you want to scratch the fuck on my ass you're gonna like fuck this dude man I love what you talked about when you ran the marathon you realize how much you were leaving on the table because that is um I mean I think the the unfulfilled potential is the story of most people's lives it is it is it and it could have been the story of mine I tell a lot of people people go what's your biggest fear in life and my biggest fear honestly was let's say this let's say I don't care if you believe in God or now I don't care so this this is play game with me let's say let's say you're God and we have a big fucking long line of people and I made to heaven 75 years old I'm 300 pounds I made to heaven I worked for Ecolab my entire life spraying for cockroaches that's what I did but I'm dead I'm in heaven now and you are at your you're judging us all now so we're in line we're all sitting there in line you have Adam Brown here's a big board up and you're talking to Adam Brown about his life and you rip it down and I'm next in line David Goggins I see my name I see all this shit and God goes hey you say read this man now I'm reading this list and I'm seeing 182 pounds Navy SEAL Ranger School motivational speaker changing lives okay man I pull up record all this shit I'm like that's not me man and God looks at me and says house who you were supposed to be and my biggest fear I visualized some crazy shit my biggest fear is that one day I want to reach a judgment of my life someone something is gonna judge me what the fuck I was supposed to be in life and what I want now is that whoever's judge me would ever judge me up there I want them to have a board in them up there right now getting their pin out because you know this person who's judging us know everything supposed to know from the time you're dead the time you know you know time you're born tons of dead I want this person up there to be like this up there write more about me saying fuck I know you could do that I I don't do that so I want to impress whatever the fuck is up there whatever's going on in life I want to go up there and not have anything left on the table I want to I want to drain my soul of every fucking bit of person I am now how do you plan on doing that but going forward in the future do you have a plan yeah so what I did I I believe in going back to scratch so a lot of us like right now I've come a long way in my life I've had to grow up a lot except a lot of the fucking things I've done in my life I'd accept a lot I took all this information big database took it all so what got me to be where I'm at today is data I collect even more data now is where I can write this book which I can tell people hey you know I fucking have a lot of faults I have a other mentality that can sometimes what people draw all this shit so how you get better is so right now I'm way up here now I was way down here but what makes you way up here is being from way down here so I love going back I call it so when I was growing up for like three years so from time I was eight to time I was like twelve we lived in a $7 a month place and what I call it is I'm always paying rent in that $7 a month home every day of my life I go back and revisit that place because that place made me this garanimal that place made me this hard man and then from that place so that place is hard work that place is going back to the fundamentals of life the fundamentals what made David Gaga's David Gaga's going back in there going back to the going back to the library of David Goggins studying even more - I know taking that out going back to our map now and then moving forward so I believe in always taking steps backwards - to your roots we cannot forget the roots and what made us the garanimal we can never become civil law isn't a garanimal they're like the little kids clothes it's a little kids clothes but I love the word I love his clothes or drinks I know the clothes or drinks man but something like that so when when you when you live in like right now like what kind of goals are you setting and how you how are you how are you feeding that beast inside of you how are you calming all that down stretching supped a lot you know so when you wire yourself up so much yoga yoga and stretching has really helped me to like you want to be quiet in your mind to see what you want to go because noise is the ultimate kryptonite down too much noise in your mind you're not going to be focused on with the task and is it's one things that I found there like long cardio so the best thing ever for harming that noise yes we all talked about that all the guys that I did that so October thing with the fitness challenge that wake if you workout five hours a day you don't give a fuck no it's it's amazing I'm like if you could take that and put it in a pill form how you feel about life after you workout five hours yep we don't give a fuck nothing bothers you nothing you nothing because you struggled true my fiancee right now it's okay I got XYZ and like I'll take you she's like what you want look at shoes I'll take you and what like I just worked out for four hours man okay sit down this motherfucking chair all day long and son yeah yeah I'm chill it's different yeah I get all that shit out I wring the rag out in the morning time and whatever you want to do I'm here man most people never get there though no they always have that chatter always is negative anger of the guy cut you off yesterday at all day long ahead yep all day long man chatter chatter chatter maybe I should do this maybe I should have done that I should never let that guy get away with that exact should have done this I should have taken that job you know I should have moved I should stuck with her that was me man that was my people yeah most people like me amazing that that long cardio just calms that chatter like that yes I got I never until October I've never really done long cardio every day it beat that testosterone up man beats everything else yeah that's just you're like fucking done yeah you're cool yeah you're cool man it's not just that it's like it's I always talk about people's brains that I think that the the way people's minds work that we're like a battery that's like leaking out it's like since we don't use it because we have all this potential we don't use it like it uses off the top of the batter and it gets messy right it's going down the sides of the battery it's all fucked up yeah but one you just drain that bitch like nature intended like give you the potential to run away from predators avoid invading tribes and to fight and gather and hunt and all the physical potential that your body is capable of when you do drain with like a ten-mile run or alright long cardio session long workout session then you can just be you it's the Great Purge man the purge it's a purge you purge all that fucking demon shit out man all the evil evil can't stay in a ten-mile run bro let's go get leaked right the fuck out pound it out yeah but you could see things clip more clearly and that is only available through effort I mean maybe it's available through meditation I don't know but I feel like there's a different thing that's available through effort because there's also a satisfaction of accomplishment oh yeah efforts huge man it means everything guess you gotta feel good about yourself now what do you do you plan out your future I do so I'm very go so I have that accountability mirror but I also plan on all my small big time you know medium goals all these things I have to do in life I'm a big planner I'm a big planner so you know right now I'm going back to scratch so I'm trying to be wildland firefighter you know I did that for a couple seasons you're gonna do that now yeah so I did it for I did it for to not not full season but but but to half season so this year was my second year doing it I had to I had to stop about two months before it ended because this book to start promoting the book I started finishing the book up but I've been doing the opportunity that's some fucking work man those fucking guys get half what made you decide to do that the work you know like when your hands stop becoming really calloused it's time to get back to work you know like I retired from the military I did 21 years in the military the military was my life loved everything about it the discipline of it there's some about going back in the and the money you make is nil it's not about the money at all it's just about the hard work I've always been looking for those people like those guys it's like you're out there digging a 3-mile fire line literally a three-mile fire line you're cutting down these fucking huge ash trees to dig this fire line and the fire line is like 20 to 18 inches it for for three miles you got like fucking 12 people digging this shit and I'm either thinking man this time the hardest fucking work I've done in my life and it's that challenge that you can't find sometimes by going to the gym or about running you know 100 mile race if that if that new challenge of like hey and you get done digging alright you've worked 17 hours 16 17 hours you get your fucking little fucking sleeping mat out shack down boom right on the floor right there on the ground get up dig some more you know be out there two three weeks sometimes man that's doing that shit and there's great satisfaction and the kind of work that you do out there no one's watching no one gives a fuck it's hard dangerous fucking work and you know you're doing it to help shit out man you know how did you get drawn into that so I got drawn into it because I was always looking for the next challenge now as I kept what is there after the military what the fuck is it man I'm 43 I'm getting back into shape you know I'm fucking getting these health issues for taking care of that I had and I started once again Google is amazing shit hardcore fucking jobs you know pretty much you know hard hard ass fucking you know that's I found the horse you know like the first race you know hardest races in the world so basically I started find this wildland firefighter like what the fuck is wild land firefighting so our googling that start googling smokejumpers you know I'm like what the fuck these guys do what they jump out of planes and attack small fires like that's the shit so I'm like okay okay we could put down a list and okay hotshot so it was a hotshot dude they go out but you know big fires and they dig fire line I'm like fuck with dick from it and that's all video of it like that shit looks like it sucks it's hot you know there's you know you're out you're on your own I mean you know you're out there on your own man just digging fire lines so that's kind of how I found it I'm always looking for the next challenge I'm never satisfied with oh I did that like you know I became a seal I was an Air Force guy became a seal I went to Ranger School I tried out for Delta Force twice you know like I'm always looking for wood is next looking for those uncommon men and women uncommon people so I'm trying to I'm trying to grow I'm trying to grow and a lot of times you know you won't be the only person that's making yourself grow you're looking for those cameron Haines's those joe rogan those people who are like just different people who understand what the fuck you're saying because a lot of things I have to say I can't save them all I can't save them all you may not understand them so I had to really find a way to communicate with people so they don't think oh my god like what what'd you just say so these Cameron Haynes is these joy these people get it so I go in those little those little nuclear spots get a little more strengthing a little more knowledge get little more tools take those tools with me put in my tool shed and I go off gone you know down the road on a new journey so that's what I do well the proof is in the pudding if you're really doing woodland firefighting cuz there's no glory in that no sir no there's no fame there's no there's no one taking pictures of you no and that paycheck is small I'm a fucking Mickey why don't you shot eat today Wow yeah there's there's nothing involved in that man they work their ass off so but you're just doing it as a challenge that's it does they freak out when you're there you know what I I think they're one and why is a 43 year old retired man you know all the stuff you've done why are you out here yeah and I explained it to him I'm out here I'm out here you know to learn from you all to grow and also to never forget where I came from you know that's where it starts it's that mentality if I'm gonna pick up that fucking Pulaski and I'm gonna dig this fucking fire line for three damn miles that's that mentality I never want to lose I never want to get so nicer at oh yeah I did it man I did it I did it I'm good yeah that mentality of I'm willing to pick up that shovel and I'm willing to dig a three-mile line it's there's some about that mentality that I'm ready to go to work at anytime and that's what keeps me those are the sparks like you know I look at motivation that's just a spark it's like it's like kindling you know how a big fire starts it starts with a little smoke it started a little cigarette being thrown in the woods next thing to all Californians fucking burn up that's what I've been doing my whole life as I find these little sparks and once that little thing takes off that's a that's a one hour fuel then you got ten hour fuel then you can move that thing - a in our fuel these big logs and big trees that burn for days and that's where you want to bring that motivation that's how you want to bring that drive so if you have no King lean the kindling is me going out with these young guys saying all right motherfucker 43 it's a 20 year old keep up with them that kindling now when I leave those young guys it has now become that 10 hour fuel and now that $10,000 a few that I used throughout my whole life I use that to my whole life but hey this summer 43 you went out there and you did that man so you know you're not giving up yet you're not done yet not today you're not done today that's a crazy choice to make though woodland firefighters a very interesting choice it is it is it's a nasty job man because again that's the proof of concept like you're really just doing just for the struggle that's it there's other things you considered like that um so I will I apply for smokejumping this year so I'll be out smokejumping this year you know God willing that's where it's at now that right now is my next military that's my next military and that's it's always about human growth it's not about money not about money human growth that's the biggest like I said my biggest trophy that's why I turned down $300,000 the biggest trophy in life is what I've learned like this brain if I could put this brain in somebody's head and said here you go Merry Christmas they'd be a happy person well I found out is that with no crowds no one cheering for you no race is no finish line it's an amazing amazing thing I've learned in my mind by no one cheering you on like what that is is every morning I do what I do I don't have a trainer waking me up there's no one saying David you have to do this I don't have to do anything anymore I've done it that's the beauty of all this knowing that everything I talk about no one even knows what the fuck I'm doing every day and I know that I am grinding like a motherfucker they see a one-minute video I mean running there's some bullshit hopefully it motivates you Merry Christmas dude I'm out there for fucking hours every fucking day and no one sees what the fuck I'm doing no one it's a great beautiful thing man that is the beautiful thing about it right that you really are just doing it for the benefits of it that's it that you have to do it that way it's not for show like there's a lot of people like you'll see like they have a little video Lee do on Instagram like bitch you are not doing that for very long no and too fast that's it I got my one minute on yeah okay now yeah yeah yeah exactly it's so much a visit for show I do enjoy those videos that you're doing on Instagram though we appreciate these little motivational things I put some of them up on my page I appreciate you posted it there's are those are those are great man like what do you are you just like do you just get a thought in your head while you're out there running and you just want to get it down yeah so what I'll do is I my fiancee there's all these videos man so god bless you it's something to be three o'clock in the fucking morning and I'll be working out that's the hey wake the fuck up I got some shit hey what hey man it came to me man I got some shit for these people man that's what happens I usually when I'm working out I get this great inspiration I some people might think it's bullshit but my mind works best under extreme pain and suffering like oh my god I wanna be out here and that's what I'm going deep into the cellar of my mind and that's when all that gargoyle shit starts to come up man you know I'm Sam and so she gets called out all the time like hey I'll run home and say hey get the car meet me at 17th Street because by that time I have all my shit together so that's all this happens man it's not like a rehearsed thing that's why sometimes I may post on Monday uses like every Monday but sometimes it's Tuesday sometimes it's Thursday you know I and that's what I do I I'm trying to now give back to people in a way that's real and authentic and just being me what does the response been like like after you did the podcast the first time what was a response like and was the response like on social media what was crazy man is that you are my sure and I'm fucking Bieber that's the fucking response man so your crowd for some reason they they resonate with me they understand they they they they get me and they they love the message and like so if you put some bullshit up on my site I block and delete your ass this ain't this ain't a playground like like my site I'm not fucking around with you motherfuckers I want to give you some tools that I learn if you want to take them tango if not Merry Christmas I'll go on my merry way I don't care so if you go on there you want to play around you want to you know well there's but it caught up those people going slow troll fucking you on my shit I'm gonna block your monkey ass off my shit quick I want so I've been friends Jamie yeah tell him so I've developed like a small community of people who can go in there and it's not just me talking so people have now joined in and there I've seen people who's a hundred and fifty pounds on my site man like and they're in there writing about and they're starting to break themselves down like I broke myself down like a I went through this I went through this divorce and this happened and I tried to kill myself it gets wrong and then people are now going on and commenting on their shit saying hey keep it up do what you're doing it's become like a big fucking like hey it's a community of people trying to fucking get better and that's what it's about man it's saying about the David Goggins fucking show nah man I'm mr. King lien you motherfuckers take this shit and let it burn also you probably need all these other people out there grinding - for fuel oh man I want to know that's the thing now like people go what motivates you now what motivates me now is that there's over 600 some 1000 people looking at me saying motherfucking Goggins is somewhere out there he saw her out there fucking getting after it and I am so you ain't never fucking alone I'm out there somewhere yeah six hundreds of thousand people there's a chance that when you're working out on care if you're a fucking Washington DC and I'm in Nashville there's a good chance the same time we're getting after it and I want people know that and that's the real deal we are getting after together not know like happy family shit but we're getting after it you know yeah well that is that's giant for people man that the sense of community and to know that there's like-minded folks out there they're also trying to improve the journey over their own demons get past their own bullshit wash their own weaknesses cows up their own mind I love that you know it's not time for some soft shit it's not type of soft shit man this isn't the fucking playground don't come on my Instagram Facebook or Twitter talking some bullshit come on if you want to if you want to join the community and get hard and see what you're about don't talk about rest you know how do you do it no that's fucking stop thinking so much and let's put the shoes on and get grinded you do get some of that though some comments to say you know this is terrible advice rest and recovery is not my site yeah I hear that shit there's a lot of people looking for built-in excuse AR man they are there looking for it but then there's a lot of people also that are just really interested in personal growth they're interested in really finding out what they're made of they're interested in improving their ability to toughen up and try to put themselves and they're looking they're looking for people like you and other people just add to that momentum right once you get going it's easier to keep going that's it man once you get going it's easier to keep showing up it is it is you have to get past that hurdle yeah you want to get past it man you're flying and then you see other people that are doing it too and you realize like this is a this is a movement there's a lot of other people out there it is a movement yeah it is a movement well that's the thing that resonates with you I think about the audience of this podcast that I've had quite a few people on that have that same message and it resonates with people because we're all trying to improve ourselves no one's perfect nope there's no I'm not perfect now and never will be you're not and you never will be but you're better than you were yesterday and you're gonna be better tomorrow that's the truth day right there man and that's what that book says I am NOT fucking perfect man I had the balls to now finally tell you all I'm very flawed but in that saying that you're very flawed in saying that you're very perfect you exhibit way more strength than someone who bullshit's and pretends right someone who puts up some fake-ass fucking fake facade of perfection right of moral integrity and growth and honesty and those people are a real problem it's exhausting sometimes a fuck yeah I did it for a while I'm fucked up I give up I quit I quit I quit I'm fucked up I'm gonna tell you all I can't live this anymore this is who I am but the confidence of you of constantly grinding and constantly putting in that work is what leads you to be able to express yourself so honestly oh you're right I I for the first time believe in David Goggin and I don't care who else believes in me I don't care for the first time my life me I could tell you all my fucked up shit and without lying that's powerful no longer care that's powerful they see everybody could get to that then you do you don't have any excuses because you don't need any that's right no need any to me none you'll like me Merry Christmas Kwanzaa keep moving yes it go yeah good luck to you exactly yeah we're all on this thing together yeah you got your own path no one wants to stare at those shoes for 30 minutes that's so true man so true so fire jumping and woodland firefighting that didn't expect that I didn't hear that coming yeah that's interesting man yep and what did you have any other options that you were looking at before you dived into those you know what those are the first that came up because I saw how hard it was you know like at 43 and these jobs like like in the military you're a dinosaur time to retire and while in firefighting you know you started moving to these desk jobs mm-hmm and that was the challenge of it you know I'm like I'm like a fucking rookie at 43 right so I'm like being talked like a little bitch so it takes a lot for me you know I'm like mm I've done some things man hang on now but I have to now humble myself again right it's hard to humpy stuff you got some 21 year old little punk-ass bitch saying hey pick up that shit and come on like but what the fuck you say I'm like you know I'm like okay Gaga it's like you're a rookie man like so that's all the training behind the mindset of it all right is that you can't ever be the point you never learn from people right you know you have to always humble yourself and go back to that yeah you know like right now there's people listing this podcast like oh yeah you're great guys no you ain't shit Goggins and that's the mindset I always when I have no like I'm not proud of myself but you have to always keep that like I want to keep that dog in me mmm and I can't always know everything yeah well being a beginner at something that's fantastic it's amazing being learning new things is fantastic for everything else so much growth in that have you do you fuck around with martial arts you know what I learned a little bit I've never gone crazy in it I've never gone crazy I boxed a little bit where do you live I live in Nashville it's a lot of jiu-jitsu in Nashville you should get involved in jiu-jitsu you look like a duck to water I'll find you a spot yeah yeah yeah I'm fine you spot you you get obsessed with that shit oh god is that so yeah never-ending pile of fucking tangled bodies and struggle here we go because it's something that you just get better at all the time and there's no hiding right either you get choked or you don't either you survive or you don't I've been a lot of ground a lot of ground gangs man but I've never really learned the skill sets yeah so it would be nice to do that I'll hook it up yeah please do I think you would get obsessed with it the same way Jacko's obsessed with it see what other seals get obsessed with martial arts it would be nice to do it because it's also constant competition as well I mean you can get into competition every single night of the week really and yeah absolutely and as a guy who's just starting out you're gonna be a white belt you're gonna get strangled a lot you want to choke the fuck out from the beginning you're gonna start from the beginning of a hundred percent guys your size there's plenty of guys who have been doing it for fucking decades no law guys like the hands on me so I'll be good yeah Goggins you're coming huh okay but it's also a good thing to have the kind of cardio and endurance you have - yeah that's where I get people that I've rolled with a lot of guys who have skills mm-hmm but the thing that I really have and I'm like a brag on it man I got a fucked up cardio base man I got a fucked up cardio base man and my mentality is kind of fucked up - yeah so I realized that was fighting that if you got a big cardio base and you're mindsets fucked up - mmm cardio is almost everything skills are everything because a lot of guys with skills also have some cardio they have a night fuck you up right but to have true this cardio with big skills is everything I see him man dying yeah because so many guys started 100% but three minutes into the fight they're at 80 right you know five minutes into the fight they're at 60 that's right and they recover for a minute they come back but if you're if you are in like a rolling session like when you roll your roll for nine minutes straight so you and this guy and you there's most of the time there's multiple taps all right you'll tap him he'll tap you you tap each other but nine minutes man it is exhausting when that bell goes off the last you know the the Bell for 30 seconds and you got 30 seconds left in nine minutes and then dinging it's over you're like you've done and then you take a minute off you find a new partner that's good shit back in there you love it it sounds like a good grind yeah that's the next grind right there you love it yeah no hey someone that take about if I went like this hard at it it's hard to say because it depends entirely upon how much emphasis you put on learning new techniques and rolling and drilling drilling is gigantic and that's the thing that people don't like to do because jiu-jitsu so fun people like to just roll right because it's a sparring is where it's at like I don't want to do this practice I want to choke people like I knew a few things like do that okay okay let me get in there then you want it's like a lot of jujitsu schools they'll start out with like one or two techniques and then you roll most of the class is just sparring right but the right way to do it really is to drill way more than you spar because you'd be drilling all the time and live drilling to like you start out where a guy has your back ready go and then from there you got to try to escape and do it the right thing to try to use the right technique to get out of that position or you'll start out with an armbar but he's defending and you got to figure out how to extend it you know in those live drills straight drills like technique drills and then live drills or I think even more important in the beginning to to your personal development and growth as a jiu-jitsu player then even sparring but a guy like you who's smart and tough and will go crazy shit it shouldn't take that long it takes people I mean it depends on how much you did get yourself to all right PJ pen got his black belt in three years what yeah but it's crazy he's BJ Penn he's so like the prodigy for a reason right right I had a conversation with him about though it was really interesting once he he goes he was talking to some other dude and the guy said I got my black belt at three years just like you did BJ and he's like wow man he goes you must be good he goes no man he goes I'm addicted just like you he goes you were addicted you're addicted and he's like I never thought about it that way goes yeah I'm addicted to jujitsu so addicted like it takes over your mind right it's everything your days are spent thinking about some guy who triangled you this motherfucker how do you get me shit like I get that today I got choked out ten years ago that I think about sometimes when I'm lifting I'll be tired and I'll think about a guy who caught me ten years ago I fuck yeah that was great about life man yeah I think about not being choked out but I think about a lot of shit like that yeah pushing they grind on me like a motherfucker man and that's what you're talking about earlier - it's like that the mind has these reserves you can trick it and pull them out yes inspirational reserves like you did when when you when you guys were going through buds yes we just found that trigger and then all sudden you throwing that boat in the air the mind always has the tactical advantage over you why is it it knows your fears those insecurities it knows where they're hiding can't hide can't hide that motherfucker man I'm not forget the tactical advantage on you son that's gonna get you man it's a beast that might be your best lesson right that your mind your mind knows everything you cannot hide from it so don't ever try don't try neither go and beat that motherfucker I gotta keep going at it that's also what you did in this book you didn't try to like paint yourself in a glamorous or flattering way at any point in time you were honest at every step of the way which i think is just gigantic for people too because you can tell when someone's stroking themselves or shitting themselves and the messages won't come through right but this you're you come through in this book you know like you who you are and what you became and how you became who you are and who you used to be and why you were the way you used to be all that comes through it's like there's no filter this is just your your thoughts like you what you remember about your life and what you think about right now just all comes out onto the pages hardest thing I've done my entire life I'm a Mangin I have fucking on the Hager by this book then then I walk up to people people walk up to me I like what you thinking about motherfucker [Laughter] hey how about you motherfucker tell me something bout you that's what people love right when they know some shit about you don't know nothin about nobody that's anonymous trolls that's it man and they get at me they come how there's a lot of those but they're all doing that to themselves they don't even understand when you do that you're doing it to yourself right if you are attacking someone because you know that they have a weakness but you're pretending you don't have one you are attacking yourself you are chipping away your own personal sovereignty you're chipping away your own respect so true man can't respect yourself you know you're a pussy that's what happened though Joe to me I start looking at people realizing I know something about you because they don't want to talk about it right I already know it yeah if you're talking shit about me yeah I know you're fucked up yeah that's what all these cats that come out right now who don't like me whatever like really man that should happen thirty fucking years ago fifteen years ago you still you still fucked up about that oh man I'm gonna something bout you brother is that get over everything I'm good it's water out of the fucking brain just grind it's the grind doesn't use is it I said you're not grinding hard if if you're worried about something that someone did to you years ago you're being a pussy to yourself may not getting out there and squeezing that fucking soul out every day yeah if you grind hard man I got ton of what about your monkey ass I ain't got time about you man cuz tomorrow I got to go back to the grind and tomorrow I go back to the grind again and again and again again I don't have time to put you into the hate bank there's no hate it's all filtered out man through the grind if you don't get it there's there's great joy in the grind the great join to suffer it's it's totally cleanses your body out man if any kind of hate makes you grow up it's also the being honest about it every step of the way the way you are in this book and the way you are we talk about things you're not not trying to paint yourself in a flattering way no it forces you to continue to perform right by exposing all the shit that you used to do by exposing your procrastination your slips your feather your fallings your falling back down and getting fat again all that stuff it forces you to be consistent like you know you did it today you know you did it today do you know you're gonna be able to do it tomorrow well you have to yes all right no that's not you know that's my biggest fear man is that I know I could slip everybody's bad you're not permanent shit no one's permanent almost fucking permanent that's why people that have accomplished great things and then want to talk about those great things to the end of time and not do anything anymore no they're fucking themselves is it those people that are looking for that golden age okay for that holding hands and walking off into the south and I read its role that doesn't exist it's not tattooed man it's not real I thought it was tattoos I like fuck I'm slipping I'm like what I put all this repetition and I'm still slipping can't take a day off man can't take a day off man take a days a week I get after I see the thing about I do active recovery right okay so what so what's a light active recovery day you see seven days seven miles is normal easy six mile run that's active recovery and a low low heart rate I look like I'm walking I'm off to like a fucking 9:30 10-minute mile heart rate real low I'm really big into the heart rate training man it's amazing so it makes you a machine it makes you a machine man how so it won't work it trains your heart in a way that the way I was able to run these hundred mile races like I was able to do it was off a heart rate so if you go at 80 percent for me for the longest time I was like 100 like 147 heart rate 148 to 150 to running run in there if I maintain that man I'm in that I'm burning that nice fat storage and that body wants to utilize that and it wants to burn that nice and slow and you never getting that heart rate up her hockey the hurry up or high takes a lot to recover from that and the higher goes the longer it takes her to come down when I stayed at 145 146 147 heart rate for a long time when I get done running it will go back under a hundred within two or three minutes and that's what you want you want that quick recovery so a quick recovery means that that's your body's right on point and I look at my and my heart rate the morning time it's using the 30s if it's like 45 46 47 I'm over trained easy day each day means Zone one so I'm one means I'm it's going real light today so I trained every day because why as my mind and as a human we're supposed to move every day I'm supposed to move and I'm not saying get after it every day get after me just do something every day right ride a bike like if you're real tired from working out hard right an easy bike spin and as you're spinning take in your fluids rehydrate your body as you're acting cuz that's the best way to rehydrate your body and like taking the carbohydrate drink it gets all that good carbs you start to glycogen store your body again for the next day so as you're doing active stuff that Bloods flowing now active blood flow nice active blood flow helps the recovery process along with drinking some some like endurance drink or some carbohydrate drink it gets all that glycogen through the system back to the muscles loads them back up again ready to fight another war tomorrow what do you use for a heart rate monitor I usually use polar for a long time and I kind of still use polar now is that a wrist one our chester has a chest strap it's a nice cheap little chest strap and now I'm at a point now where I know I only do my heart rate in the morning time I don't even wear it we're not run anymore do you check it whether the strap in the morning or yeah check your finger check the stress so you wake up you just put the strap on before you get it back put the strap on your body mmm you don't the first thing you do put a strap on or do your finger but everyone you can do if I have a strap do your finger know what your average heart rate is you know your resting heart rate and then from there if it's a little bit high low elevated you know you can't go off into that zone 3 zone for training day you got to or zone 1 so it's all about the heart rate the resting heart rate so when you use it the chest strap does it register on an application on a phone like how do you read it on the watch on a watch is it a smart watch or as a polar walk it's a polar watch so it's a watch that shows you the heart rate that's reading off the strap exactly that's all it does and so when you say zone ones this is these are the things that you've created zone ones onto the know these are like zones that uh that's no whoever created this like like the heart rate zone training so basically what I did in was help me out so much is my zone two training runs used to beat 8:30 okay so that was my pace at like a 145 mile yep a 30 mile through stretching and get my body opened up my zone to run now is about a seven twenty one seven eighteen seven nineteen so it kind of minute off just by kissing up your range push up my range of motion Wow unbeliev our tray so my stride if people look at videos of me like years ago I was first in my first bad water look I was scooting I have like it was so tight I look like I was this this very rigid runner now I actually run you know everything was so tight everything was that contact forming it I was like I'm like like my knees and my George is going inward now everything's right you know we're needs to be at and I have a nice long nice Drive do you run on the street I'm on Spartan for the most part I'm always traveling and so the best thing you do gets your running shoes you get your shit you just go out and run but I you know some dirt as much as possible yeah so it's really good for you but now my body is like fucking second I got iron I mean it is it can take some beating now when you when you run if you ever fuck with those barefoot running shoes no no no you know what look honestly I don't know many people who have been I don't believe in it I don't believe it I was born with shoes wearing shoes my whole fucking life I'm not you know I'm black but I'm not from Africa yes so I'm not down man I'm not dear I've read the science behind it oh yeah of like using all the muscles oh yeah yeah I really science behind it I also read sounds motherfuckers have broken feet alright that dude but minimalist shoes on trails aren't bad yeah I'm not doing it no no Matt will break my oh my god man no in those things all the time really so you like yeah it would kill me I'm gonna tell you what I ran in fat tires yesterday Under Armor fat tire which is like a cushiony ass shoe you like it no it was so easy it's like because whatever no no Under Armour has these fat tires it's basically like a BMX tire track it's even made by a tire company makes the tread yeah man it's like it's got a mush to it and you you run on these things man you could run over see a thing about those five finger barefoot shoes right I like running those but you got to look where you're stepping you can't step on any hard rocks game over you'll fuck up your foot yeah quick cuz it's like it's gonna go right in your foot Oh tiny little thin so I went from those two vivos vivo barefoot shoes that's what it looks like so when you run on those bitches that is a cushiony glorious padding like when you when you hit the ground it's like smushy smushy smush I had the other ones Jamie the ones with Ebola it's because it's just like got that little click one that you just put pull up yeah like those so it's like you twist it with that that's how you tighten it up with that little boa adjuster thing it's like a got a thread through it so you have to lace it or anything like that you just slip them on and pop that sucker down I like to feel the ground a little bit my run yeah you barely feeling shit with those yeah but I like it oh my joints didn't bother me at all yesterday which is crazy like after a good solid run cuz most of what I'm running is hills right like pretty steep and it's great my ass and legs never been what do you weigh right now 200 yeah you thick dude man no so for me the pounding of the you know the constant pounds yeah the feet to the ground it is uh it's it's rough on the ankles it's rough on you know the the joints but I don't feel it at all with those fat tires it was mushy like I I got done running I fell I got cheated so much easier the cloud shoes yeah that's just real cushioning and Cam's always said that he runs with those a lot does he yeah he's run with a bunch of those like he's like cuz he runs so many fucking miles he was running a marathon a day like pretty much every day I did that for a while bad bad bad oh my god got it I got wired and doing that shit man what is this right here so this is this is when I ran I ran a hundred and fifty mile trail race so the year before I did the same race this 150 mile trail race I did it in I think around 40 hours and I had to walk the last 60 miles got pneumonia here we go yeah a lot and then I told the race director head motherfucker I'm coming back here next year and I'm breaking the course record I went back and did like 32 hours same race Wow now know when you 33 hours so when you're running what what shoes do you use right now I'm wearing Brooks and also wear a six so just you know what kind of train I'm in where I'm at stuff like for trails we were what run for trails I actually for a long time I wore a street running shoe really for trails yeah for the longest time how come because first of all my body was so messed up the only shoe I could ever wear with this Brooks addiction it had even given Brooks credit right now because back in the day they would help a brother out I was running so many miles yeah so Brooks I'm not trying I'm not promoting Brooks right now yeah Merry Christmas on them I calling up the many times hey man can I get like a discount or some shit hang up not nobody nothing so but they do have a good shoe and I and I and it was not good PR horrible PR man you know I'm saying like you know so but um yeah I love their shoe belongs checking where was that Brooks addiction can my my biomechanics was so messed up I tried so many different shoes and and that was a so I can now wear a neutral shoe so how I used to run and very few people know this I used to have heel wedges inserts heel wedges and get compression tape because my body was pushed so far in from being so tight in my hip flexors that so how I got such bad stress fractures was my bottle mechanic so there's a picture my toe in there cuz my my toes just jammed in front of my shoes cuz my whole body's got just like bent in so you when you're saying bent in for people just listed in your if your hands are flat on a table you're turning the outside of your hands in up so that your thumbs are going down those are my two big toes right going down we're going down and into the shoe and the outside of your foot was up was above it right so what I had to do to run because I was like God I got stress fractures all the time and my feet were so fucked up sometimes you see that with people's shoes like how they're worn out warning horn out on the side ways exactly like a wedge rock and we look at it from behind it crazy yeah that was my shoe so I had to get a heel wedge to keep my heel from going down guys severe tendinitis in the back of medical that's how you had to make it thicker on one size right stuff for on the inside flat right so the inside I had to push up and I to get compression tape it was compression tape heel wedges and an insert and that's how I ran every fucking day did you go to a running coach or anything don't know but did you want to know what you were doing wrong you know what man that was part of that garanimal mindset man fuck it me I'm supposed to be broken you know but then I got smarter as time went and said oh man this is some painful shit running a hundred mile races with this kind of tendinitis and my feet being fucked that it was so painful so I was like you know what so then I started stretching I was like my god all this was from having a tight I got so mad sick my god I was I was in all these different contraptions and now I just wear normal running shoe Wow yeah so I went from being contraption DUP man like literally contraption up so it's all just the stretching that opened up the range of motion open yeah now when people talk about range of motion they don't understand how tight I was like no one understands like when you repeatedly do what I was doing to myself and you were born with this dress I was born under like I hate I can't paint a clear is it's pretty clear in the book man my life was bad the stress I endured on a day I had two people and my body was proof of literally what my life was doing to me it literally was not at all my muscles up because I was always under this fighter flight you know my my dad that made me so fucking scared of shit you know to unwind this motherfucker man was like it was it was it was a hard task you know i it was a hard it was a hard task man so it's a lot of a man it's not just all the hard training oh but it's also the mind the mind because think about it man when you under stress that hip flexor that that's so as muscle wish to attach to your t12 that that's the only muscle that attaches your lower body to your upper body and that's the muscle that's that's your fight-or-flight whenever you get nervous or scared of something like that that motherfucker's was it was tighten up unto me I'm your whole body is I lived in that like almost fetal position in my mind for so many years so I was always under this like tight neck tension fucking guy but I've walked around like I'm some cool here's my new hairstyle pants are sagging and I'm a cool dude man right but that was not a costume I had a costume war every day yeah got tired of burning that motherfucker man next costume I want you to be in as a jujitsu key with a white belt dog I always send your picture man no fiction no you gotta cuz I already played this bass it around you know it is I'm gonna set it up Nashville I know there's some places out there Nashville holler at me trust me yeah I'm sure they will we'll find you a spot of fine spot listen man this book is fucking fantastic I'm halfway in I can't wait to finish it and just thank you thank you for the inspiration thank you for being so honest experiencing yourself I appreciate the fuck appreciate you brother thanks again thank you bye everybody thanks a lot [Music]

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Keywords: Joe Rogan Experience, podcast, JRE, JRE #1212, 1212, David Goggins, Joe Rogan, running, motivation, work out, ultramarathon, NAVY SEALs, BUDS Training, comedy, comedian, jokes, stand up, funny, mma, UFC, Ultimate Fighting Championship

Id: BvWB7B8tXK8

Length: 137min 58sec (8278 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 05 2018