David Choe - Steve-O's Wild Ride! Ep #80

hey everybody and welcome to a liberating freeing wild ride with stevo oh man we're talking about getting freed from prison and free of shame and all kinds of other stuff plus we're talking to the richest painter on the planet that's right this guy painted the murals in the facebook offices and they figured they'd just pay him in stock so he's now literally the richest painter on earth and he's a great guy and we had an excellent time but before we get started with that i want to tell you how i start every single day i literally meditate and then i want to drink my coffee but first i know i gotta hydrate and i want to do it in the most healthy way so i got athletic greens i put a scoop of this in my water and that's got 75 different vitamins all sourced from completely whole foods natural it's like literally got probiotics like every little healthy thing and unlike uh multivitamins not harsh on your stomach man dump it in your water and pound it down it's absolutely delicious helps you stay focused it improves your gut health and your digestion and uh man i just don't eat enough greens so i'm telling you my ag one from athletic greens it's what i am talking about so that's how i start every single day i think you should too and if you go to athleticgreens.com not only can you get all this great stuff but with your first purchase you get five of these free travel packs which i don't go on tour without because i literally do this every morning and that makes it so easy you also get a year's supply of vitamin d from them so dude you can't do better i use this every single morning you should too one more time go to athleticgreens.com stevo to get five free travel packs your supply vitamin d and you get all that with your first purchase so get to it and let's get into it and uh we're ready to go are we all going barefooted um is this okay yeah he's barefooted and i'm not this is the first barefooted podcast here yeah i'm always barefoot and people complain about it like crazy yeah they just can't see my feet he goes barefooted into the plane in the bathroom yeah and on that note ladies and gentlemen david cho yeah dude wow yeah dude to you bro you just met scott randolph that's right paul briskey what's up guys what's up dave we are uh parked in the rv give me the address a very fancy neighborhood this is not the house that you grew up in no absolutely not um first question is has anyone dropped a deuce in there we went for a very long time with the strict no pooping rule and uh and then i just had to poop too bad and i broke down and did it but i've only pooped in there once did you put a plastic bag in it before i i guess i had done that before i had to i guess i should ask has a guest ever pooped in there oh a podcast guest has now you have to poop not not right now but it's it depends what we talk about it could happen yeah you get nervous oh my god if if we hit some certain subjects it will yeah just flip my houses right there so i i like the idea we could keep rolling yeah we'll keep going with the door you can take it in there yeah we can switch it out just keep chatting you know pull that thing right up on you too david all right well there's certain subjects that make you nervous well i mean yeah yeah i think the more interesting question is when you feel nervous that makes you poop yeah i've had um i've always um you know koreans can't for the most part uh you know asians in general didn't grow up with cheese right dairy so you know rice and you know kimchi and all this other stuff but it's only until uh you know asians started coming to america like this is my understanding of it that the first time you know so i think about my dad my grandpa my great-grandfather my generations of people that have never tasted sour cream cheese pizza you know like any of that [ __ ] and then so i'm the first guy i'm the first guy out of thousands of generations to ever of course my shit's gonna like you know i wake up i gotta take three to seven shits a day i go see the doctor he's like don't drink you know dairy don't eat cheese all that stuff so i just go i'm i'm you know it's a lactose intolerance yeah my girl is lactose intolerant but is that the full story because you know i'm like is that is that normal for like someone to go to the bathroom like seven times if you ask my mom she's like oh yeah it's very healthy it's a very healthy digestive system yeah seven sounds like a lot that sounds like a lot are they like healthy shits or is it like diarrhea no it's not healthy bro it's not healthy it's and uh so i sit there and i and i uh you know i do the wikipedia thing or um and i go what's what's um ibs like how what's cause irritable bowel syndrome what causes those things and they don't have an answer and so i start reading books about it and it's like most like chronic pain is trauma like some kind of traumatic thing or like yeah stress induced and so i think about my life today which is like very very low stress and then this is this is a i'm grateful that i can say this the blessing i can say this the number one stress in my life is i have to do a podcast once in a while yeah and then when that happens i notice i have to take a lot of more shits i really like if i like i did rich roll like a month ago i saw that ritual's a good buddy of mine it's [ __ ] awesome i love that but like i don't do like i used to do a podcast every day and like it was fine and i also [ __ ] like seven times a day but yeah at my worst when i was like being competitive with like video games and gambling and how many women i could sleep with and all these things it was just part of my curriculum i would just wake up [ __ ] [ __ ] like just everything is punctuated with bowel movement and now i had two very healthy healthy bowel movements today that's good and um i try to do three you try to [ __ ] three times a day yeah i heard you i heard you should never push never yeah you don't you don't wanna you just it should just you know but you never get nervous and have to [ __ ] like scoring coke back in the day like you're excited and you're like driving there and you're farting and you got a [ __ ] i mean the the first like bump of coke the first line would make me [ __ ] like coke has a very laxative quality but that had nothing to do with nerves it had to do with the actual drug i i look at like is that true because i heard i heard um you know i'm not a drug addict but i've talked to many drug addicts and i knew a few guys in rehab that were cokeheads and they were like we'd start to feel like we need the [ __ ] before we did the coke just just when we heard that like the dealers coming and like the ritualization of the the whole act of their farting where am i gonna get the money and it's like just that part would get like oh [ __ ] and then and um yeah so i'm just wondering if it's the actual coke or the yeah i wouldn't be surprised if there's a psychosomatic piece to it but for my recollection it was the immediate effect of the of the actual drug um but let me just say that you're uh you know this is the most stressful thing in your life like what an honor man thank you for doing this no man sorry for stressing yeah it's hard to put you through no man i love it i love talking to fellow koreans like uh i don't know if you've ever heard this but steve oh is a very typical korean name oh how about that wow like oh like koreans have like five last names lee kim cho you know um and oh like oh h so steve oh he's part of the tribe is steven korean name oh yeah if if stevie weeby stevie weeby for sure yeah when you get when uh the koreans come over here they're like what's like bob joe jim steve eddie and then you know throw tag on uh so i think that you know americans being being pretty ignorant like uh is defined like the the the difference between south korea and north korea like i guess people probably pretty much grasp it right that north korea is like the crazy part this is the way i look at it because my my family's from south korea and if you if anyone's listening to this and they're like oh i have a korean friend they're probably from the south there's very few like yeah like you got to do some like like insane [ __ ] to get out of north korea so um most most koreans are from the south and when people make that distinction it's like it's an imaginary line right when someone's like then you could say say this about any country but they're like oh you north korean or south korean and i and i look at at the world today and it's [ __ ] insane what happens in north korea it's like it's insane what happens over there and most people don't really talk about or know know about it because of the secrecy and i know there's more stuff getting out but um like when people [ __ ] with me and i'm in a like i said i'm in a very great place in my life i'm the happiest i've ever been but i've always been like you sure you want to do that dude like it's like right now it's 20 21. and my people when i say my people i'm just saying korea period north and south still think communism is okay like it's one of the final final true communist countries in the world that shows if you look at countries as people our level of stubbornness right the whole world has like done all this and that and like now we're even though all of our people are dying even though all like so that dna i think is like imprinted like somewhere in here because i've done so many uh and i've talked to you a lot about this i've done so many self-destructive does not make sense behaviors where people go wait but if you just did this or that your life would be easier and i'm like i just and you know i'm better about it now but yeah basically i'm north korean i wonder i wonder if communism is really that bad right i mean it's a philosophy communism everything is communal we share right it's [ __ ] dope if it were if everyone if greed didn't exist communism is great right you know it's just in practice corruption will screw up any form of government no matter what it is and i think that when you're the way that you said that they still think communism is okay i almost think what you're speaking about is dictatorship right like because dictatorship and communism are i'm i'm talking more just about like the level of stubbornness when there's like the reality of people starving in front of you and dying and you're in there just like does not impute and i'm just going to keep you know right and and and actually the concept of communism i i would guess the closest and i've talked about this extensively but is is prison right like everyone just get well at least the prisoners right it's supposed to be equal everyone there's no special treatment and when i was in jail in japan japan is one place i have never been to jail i have been to jail in california florida louisiana london england stockholm sweden but hey life is a lot better when you're not in jail at all and life is also a lot better when you're hydrated man and i'll tell you for all the people out there drinking soda it's awful for them you know what's good drinking water man and a nice cold sparkling liquid death from the austrian alps that's what i'm talking about getting hydrated with nice crispy liquid death man they also have mountain still water and all of it comes in infinitely recyclable cans that look dope as hell like it just looks dope as hell and if little kids drink them in school their teachers think they're drinking a beer and i'll tell you the ceo of liquid dead loves that this is just a company that is hilarious and cares about the world man like they they donate 10 of all the profits to uh taking on the plastic industry death to the plastic industry that's what they're talking about they care about the world and they make my life better i'm a healthier guy because of them and you're going to be a healthier person because of them too by going to liquiddeth.como you get free shipping on any order of merch or water and dude that's crazy on their part man shipping costs a lot especially heavy water and they're gonna give you free shipping jump on this man go to liquiddeth.com stevo you get free shipping on all your merch and water orders drinking cool ass infinitely recyclable cans and being a healthier person because you're hydrated hurry up right now go to liquiddeth.com stevo start ordering now let's talk about prison in japan everyone gets one cigarette for everyone gets the same meal until they figure out oh this guy if you're in jail and you have any skill to alleviate the boredom right if you can sing dance draw like anything like tell jokes then you're so instant celebrity so once they decided once they realized oh holy [ __ ] this guy can draw he can like draw cards for us for our girlfriends or our wives i was like the celebrity and then i started getting extra [ __ ] you know people were passing me extra like you know rice and like snacks and [ __ ] and then instantly when that happens it's no longer communism right and then it creates jealousy and like backstabbing and like [ __ ] that dude and all that stats and gambling right so in theory if everyone could just share and everyone's like equal like [ __ ] great you know like it's just you know it works in topanga not in different countries you know how long were you in jail in china in japan i was in jail for three months uh serving a seven year sentence so they let me out early do they serve you sushi in jail i wish i wish bro they served uh like the most disgusting you know i love it now because that's how drama works yeah uh this thing in uh breakfast called natto which is fermented it's like smells like kimchi it no it's you throw it out all the korean [ __ ] uh it smells like beans that someone nutted on right it's like it's just it's just it's a foul i thought it was torture i was like liquid shrimp yeah i'm like you guys are giving me like rotten beans for i was like this is like let me talk to someone from the u.s embassy this is like harassment and they're like oh no this is like we all eat this [ __ ] and uh yeah what year were you in uh jail that was 20 years ago 20 years and that's the last time i got got in trouble and that was the last time um i was in shape okay i just did push-ups all day i did uh 1 000 push-ups a day wow 1 000. i would and people are like no you didn't and i go well yeah i didn't start doing that month one i would do like i could barely do 20 and then i was like holy [ __ ] and then um for people who are like that's impossible or that's [ __ ] wake up tomorrow at six is which when you have to wake up in prison and then have that be the only thing you date you do that day till eight o'clock at night yeah it's like you could do ten take a break do ten have lunch clean your room do twenty do thirty if you have the entire day and that was the focus of my day so when i got out i was i was pretty ripped i was like that was the most i was 27 20 yeah 27 years old and then um so wow so where are we the same age i'm 47. i'm 45. okay yeah so pretty close and then i go on that [ __ ] rich roles podcast and you know part of the anxiety is like like like um there's different stevos right like there's like attic stevo crazy out of control and then for me the best right now you're the best version of stevo i've and and i love you and i love hanging out with you thanks man likewise so when i when i and that's kind of where i'm at today too and i think that's why we vibe is like i notice people who want oh go back to that jail the guy that would do anything like and i go i could tell you a story about that but that's not who i am today right and and my co-dependents wants to please you so it goes okay let me you know but so i i i start to notice that those people don't call me as much anymore right because they're like oh you're going to talk to me about some therapy or some [ __ ] and in the same way the the talking about [ __ ] and whatever the the nervousness that comes up when i go talk to a guy like rich roll is like that guy used to be fat out of shape he used to be an addict and now he's like running 500 miles in three days or you know i'm like i i'm gonna naturally the kind of person i am feel shame just hanging out with him even though even even if he's not saying to do anything because i'm like wow he did it he got his [ __ ] together like what the [ __ ] wrong with me and um so i did a show and he gave me his book and everything and we talked about recovery and and i lost um about 15 pounds just from like [ __ ] just just yeah just like thinking about it and then uh and then i um i i lost you know my friend um he like cooks for jeff bezos once in a while right he's like a celebrity chef guy and he's mean he's mean to me so he goes uh hey man every time i cook for basil he looks like he's getting younger and more healthful and he's doing all this anti-aging [ __ ] and he's like you're [ __ ] rich dude like you look like [ __ ] fatter and uglier every time i see you so he kind of shamed me and i and i was like what that is true like why why aren't i taking care if i if i truly am the happiest i've ever been why am i taking care of myself better because when i wasn't taking care of myself i didn't give a [ __ ] if i lived or i died so i go you know i go to the fancy hollywood beverly hills doctors that are seeing you know and i go yo bro i'm [ __ ] rich like i want to live forever like what do you got for me and they're like there's all the stem cell [ __ ] there's this there's that and i'm like all of it yeah i want you know total addict behavior i'm like give me everything that's going to make me live biohacking and they're like some of this [ __ ] you got to go to korea some of it you got to go to germany some of you got to go to costa rica and i'm like i don't give a [ __ ] i did stem cells in colombia oh okay you got to tell me about that [ __ ] wait recently or a while yeah like very recently it was uh it's a company called bio accelerator i believe it's an american company but they operate out of columbia because it's illegal in america to perform the procedures that they perform there right and it's speculated that it's illegal in america because the procedures they're doing with stem cells there pose a threat to the um what do you call uh pharma like the big pharma and like and and whatever like there's more money in operating on people right of course describing the drugs than actually like getting to the root cause wait so how recent was that [ __ ] when when was it i just got a couple months ago or a month ago a couple months i think you get that [ __ ] too no dude why do i look young as [ __ ] or what no i'm just curious yeah i want to go to the steve trump like candidly they did it all for free from me if i posted about it and it worked out great because the the posting that i did about it was like super well received you know like uh that everything performed really well what i noticed though was that when i was posting about being there there was just a deluge of like just people crying out desperate for help with like chronic pain like i have this like you know my spine like i'm not pinned i'm in pain like i need so many people i was overwhelmed with uh just desperate cries for help and i it just it messed me up so i talked the ceo of the company into doing a lottery to give away oh [ __ ] royal treatment to three different winners nice are they still doing the lottery they they've i believe picked one so far and they're just still yeah wait so and initially they uh they weren't they said that though the treatment would be free but you have to get yourself there and i i piped up and said come on dude what the [ __ ] is that you know yeah i said i've got so many uh frequent flyer miles accumulated oh let me cover and travel for like two of the winners you know and they're like and they said cool we'll cover the third so so now travel is all the third one has to hitchhike oh wow it's time suspenses kill me bro did it work exactly it's tough for me to to say because what i was there for was uh degenerative disc disease in my neck i can tell my neck's [ __ ] up but i'm not in a like debilitated state and i'm not in chronic pain so the idea of getting stem cell treatment there was it was largely preemptive so i can't it's not like i have pain that can go away so it's specific to your to chronic pain right yeah they do they do it different ways they injected it directly into my neck into my cervical spine and uh they they they injected it like [ __ ] tons of stem cells into my spinal cavity the idea being that it goes up my end of my brain stem and helps with concussions and they also uh flushed a [ __ ] ton through an iv so it just circulates through your whole body and and hones in on things that need help uh oh and they injected a [ __ ] ton of them into my face too which apparently won't you look amazing make me look younger well thanks dude and [ __ ] that guy i think you look great well i mean i also i've been work working out you know yeah um and i also think that stress is more dangerous oh yeah i think that like like like and trust me i understand what it's like to be caught in this like cycle of telling yourself awful things about yourself right you know all the negative self-thinking and negative like like self-loathing that's all more dangerous than like most any lifestyle happening i would say well look i i i i try my best every day to eliminate as much stress as i can and you know there's people like you said there's crying out there in so much pain and you know real pain like bone stuff like actual but there's also a lot of people out there you know in rehab my my my um my roommate was one of like the best spine surgeons in america and he's like he's like i'm you know i'm gonna big up myself of course i'm the best and it works i do it i people come in they cry they change my life he goes in 100 of the cases the pain comes back somewhere else it comes back in you know so somewhere else like you fix myself and why is that is that like uh well this is depends on you know like i try to keep this kind of stuff to myself but i'm here so i'll just talk about it is um like it's like how open are you to um [Music] like there's actually a lot of doctors in rehab so i get to i get to talk to them we had the i was on your uh just the show with the the your fx show and shout out to it because i got so much great feedback oh thanks man yeah i loved it i loved it i appreciate it on fx if you haven't seen it then [ __ ] dial it up because it's epic thanks when i was when i did my episode with you i was getting ready to ride a bicycle while having a general anesthesia drugs administered to me and when scott and i were were figuring out how to make that happen we spoke to a bunch of anesthesiologists and they said stay the [ __ ] away from propofol the michael jackson drug oh yeah they said that that uh there's just a straight epidemic of medical professionals rampantly abusing it like anybody who can get their hands on the michael jackson [ __ ] is shooting themselves oh yeah so i've met those guys and you know so these are people that are medical professionals who abuse this [ __ ] out of painkillers and propofol and all these things ketamine is a big one too man like all the veterinarians are [ __ ] up on ketamine right and if you talk to any one of them they'll tell you these you know they're like it doesn't cure the problem like it just numbs the pain it just redirects pain and you're like literally exactly the same your whole body so you're not treating the the cause of it you know so a lot of um and this is the part where i lose a lot of people there's uh you know when you watch um like uh like a lion almost kill like a deer in the wild right like it's like this close right it like almost kills them and then the deer survives and like three seconds later he's like at the pond like chilling with his friends like nothing happened so that's every animal every animal almost survives dies every day and they just go on with life and they don't like they don't become drug addicts or whatever humans and dogs are the only animals that some [ __ ] up [ __ ] happens to us like like it happens to everybody and then we carry it for the rest of our lives in your brain yeah so there's actually elephants they say they don't forget they never forget you gotta break their spirit to train them and i think he [ __ ] them up like but then again i don't know yeah i mean this is just what people tell me so i've done all these like trauma release exercises that like and you know like old pain from like 20 years ago coming out and so um you know after talking to these pain doctors and spine surgeons and whatever because i have like the [ __ ] thing the ibs going back to the [ __ ] once again and all these like chronic issues um you know i started hearing about um dr john sarno he wrote this book healing back pain howard stern talks about him a lot he passed away but that book oh i remembered howard's turn talking about john sarno yeah so it's about you know and i'm nowhere near the person that you know i just started doing it so but i started like talking to the pain you know because like when i i realized some [ __ ] was happening in my body the ibs like it's okay let's just stick to ibs because that's what i have it's like [ __ ] there's the van [ __ ] this is happening there's a wild ride sign i'm about you know it's like [ __ ] i hope i'm interesting you know all these this you know and then that manifests with you gotta take a [ __ ] sure because if i gotta take a [ __ ] then i can hide in that room and i don't have to yeah you know so is what's going on there it's like social anxiety the fear and then what's that what does that link back to so um i threw my back out a few months ago and i i was just like this is like some old man [ __ ] i'm 45 i'm a middle-aged man like you know i'm like i got access to all this medical care i'm like i'm gonna have to get surgery and i'm doing all this stuff so i started reading this guy's book and you know i'm like you know i'll be honest i didn't finish reading it because i'm like just that's how i read back and forth and uh so i'm reading different chapters i'm i'm you know taking what i want leaving out some [ __ ] and um i started talking to the pain i was like what's going on like how come you you know my you know people who know me are coming into my room going like are you talking to someone right now like you're losing your mind and i'm literally talking to the pain like hey it's like it's cool man you don't have to do this to me like you don't have to and i swear to god i know i'm going to sound like a quack the pain left me in like less than a day like it just like i could walk i couldn't even it was like that pinched kind of feeling where every time i walk my legs felt you know and i was like [ __ ] man i must have moved wrong or picked up a box wrong or something and it just left me and i've been applying that because if you believe like painkillers work right you take a pill and it redirects so you don't feel the pain so if a pill could do that there is a way if you do a lot of meditation and mental stuff like you could do that just without the pill right it's a lot more work so um so that's where well i think one of the hardest things for you and me both uh to say is no right so i'm at the place i'm like i got the money all these jeff bezos dudes are doing this [ __ ] stevo did it right like i'm like give me all that stem cell [ __ ] give it like put it in my dick put in my [ __ ] like but i put in places where i don't do it they do put it in the dick oh yeah definitely yeah if i'm going to colombia put it definitely put it in my dick you know and so i sat there and i'm like filling out the paperwork and he's telling me go to the you know and i go uh it feels very addict-y right it feels like i don't feel good instead of proper nutrition and exercise why don't i just like inject like i was i even asked him i was like the pro phenol [ __ ] like just knocks you out right like i go i go hey bro is there way he's like are you really this lazy i go can you just knock me out and then hook me up to a machine that works me out like while i sleep and like when i wake up it's like bro i got abs and like i'm like that's gotta exist right here it probably can't exist if you you know if you have enough money you can pay for anything but it probably you'll probably end up the way michael jackson did you know and i wake up and i'm like oh [ __ ] i ran 500 miles you know so i said no and i walked out and i kind of went to like victim sad guy mode i was like you know what just age the way you age you're a fat 45 year old you're just you're living that dad life that's who you are just accept it you you live in like the future where they have grubhub and postmates and like it's just it's awesome just like read comic books at two in the morning and like just have a cheeseburger like you said that the only time you were really in shape is 20 years ago so presumably it's not like an age thing right you've been this way for a while so you've had shame for 20 years well i mean part of it is money right like resources like i i've been like a skinny asian kid my whole life until i realized my first paycheck where i was like i can get a steak and the app and the dessert and a drink you know because i didn't grow up like that it was just like yeah we didn't first of all we didn't go out and if you did you're not getting are you is there like is it official you are the wealthiest painter alive i've heard it said that a good interviewer will only ask questions to which they already know the answer and yeah he's the richest painter in the world but we're about to find out how he reacts to being asked that straight to his face and while we're on the subject let me tell you i'm not the richest guy on jackass but boy am i trying to become the richest guy on jackass and i think i'm getting somewhere you know why because my shipping business is really taking off i actually just got my second warehouse for shipping all of our merch stuff and man you know what made me so successful in that business yeah it's called ship station that's how we make all of our orders go out super smooth super easy and even more importantly super cheap because no matter how many different platforms you're selling your goods from shipstation takes all of those platforms and funnels them into one super easy to use interface and it gets you the lowest possible rates on all the mail carriers ups post office all that they're giving you rates that are normally reserved for fortune 500 companies and they're just hooking it up now here's even crazier and i can't believe they're doing this at this time of year but for the listeners of my podcast you get a free 60-day trial not even charged anything you get to find out how great it is for nothing if you go to shipstation.com and when you get there you click the microphone at the top of the page and then that's when you plug in the promo code stevo and that's going to unlock a 60-day free trial now think about when this is going down we're about we're about to hit the holidays over here the next two months are the most active like e-commerce months of the year and they're giving you this deal right now crazy no matter if you're selling a little bit if you're selling a lot like ship station is your solution to getting somewhere with e-commerce man and in this day and age if you're not selling stuff online you're blowing it so let's start selling more stuff i know i started selling more stuff now it's your turn and do it well by going to shipstation.com using the promo code stevo again you hit that little mic at the top of the page and then plug in the promo code steve well you're off and running for 60 days for free no hassle shipping man come on it's time to make ship happen so yeah dude get on over to shipstation.com and now let's talk about money um yes i got to ask my question then what what was the first thing you did with your first big paycheck what would you buy steak and an appetizer just a steak i mean you did you well you're here this this is this is the the it's it's not um a sexy answer but i think this is um [Music] must be nice must be nice to be rich right it must be nice to have your own sprinter van like oh if i if i had you know all the haters and like oh if i had your money i would do you know and i and i go i do the same [ __ ] when i was poor you know like right it's like you you've done you get this right you're like must be nice to be jackass four in a multi-million and you're like wait like i was doing stunts when i had nothing with grocery carts so it's a weird thing to say to someone like i hitchhiked all over the world before i had to dine i begged for rides i begged to stay at people's houses i i was a world traveler with no money right i've paint i used to steal spray paint and just paint like food that i couldn't afford i would shoplift so like i'm not i'm not you know saying you should do this but i just i did whatever i wanted right so when the money hit the bank account um not that it's not important it just was like whatever you know and then i did all the pitfalls i bought all the cars i bought all the [ __ ] and i was like i don't need any of this stuff like my life is very simple right like yeah and uh it's like i don't have that much stuff now like i'm trying to go more minimal and almost all my resources and time is to just like helping people and and doing that but um you know the the headlines is like richest artists in the world and and to be honest like when i met mark zuckerberg and sean parker i didn't believe in their company and you know i've talked about all this stuff and i wasn't on social media and i probably still wouldn't be on i mean i'm on social i have a social media presence but it's not me like my social you know i know this is all douchey [ __ ] my social media team does that you know and so um yeah i i was like facebook myspace i don't like what i have friends like i don't need this [ __ ] it seems so stupid so when facebook started taking over myspace because you remember how gigantic that was i wasn't even paying attention so like like my whole life is gambling so i have all these things that i would bet on and some of them paid off and some of them didn't and that was one that was paying off but i wasn't even paying attention to it because my art career was taking off my paintings were selling for like more money than i you know but i wasn't like as well known and the gambling was taking off i mean i wasn't winning i i figured i i kind of don't like talking about it because you don't want to encourage [ __ ] yeah i don't yeah because it's it um people hit you up all the time about how to be like stevo or jack at you know all that kind of [ __ ] and it's and it's this is what i would say because because my teacher caught me and my art teacher caught me once giving advice after i caught up and he's like you know that advice you give is very dangerous because you're giving it to like normal people who aren't like you and i think you and i are i know this sounds very like braggadocious but i think we're really good at making it look like we're just having a good time and [ __ ] around and making it look easy and just acting stupid and crazy and it doesn't account for the years the years of discipline and all the boring [ __ ] that we don't show right like like oh look at that guy's just throwing paint i'm like bro do you know what i do after the camera's off i just ch in like the clown school you went to the stunt like all this [ __ ] practice and then when the camera's on you just do it you're like oh he's just [ __ ] around so you know yeah so people it's it's more fun it's more fun for me when i read the headlines even like it's when i go watch the uh social network uh movie by david fincher it's like it's like i liked that it's [ __ ] awesome but it's just not true every time i was there for all of it i'm like wow that is like the most exaggerated like intense like hollywood made up version and it was just not that you know yeah sure this it happens is there a documentary version of it that that's actually accurate i'm trying to think maybe the documentary version would be even more crazy every time i think about mark zuckerberg i think about the actor that played him yeah and like and i'm friends with sean parker and then when i think about hey like justin john parker is the napster guy yeah right justin timberlake yeah you know the million dollars you know what's cool a billion dollars how about just how about just facebook not the facebook yeah oh yeah you know what i i heard something like from a few different places just very recently that i just absolutely loved and i couldn't believe that i didn't like it didn't occur to me sooner but the idea that that money doesn't change people it simply amplifies the way that they already are um interesting this is something that i first heard khabib this is the fighter khabib nurmagomedov he said it about conor mcgregor you know like a lot of people want to give conor mcgregor a pass because he just came into like hundreds of millions of dollars and it's going to make you he said it could be something like whatever you are money makes you more of that and what do you agree with that i do i do and i've since heard that in uh in multiple other contexts of that i can't uh you know well i think that's true like in the in the short time that i've known you like you have money and you're sending people to get help in colombia like that's what you decide to do with your money you know and um but then that goes to the question of like who are we are we like are we evil are we villains and um are we good people are we here you know i guess part of that is um hmm let me let me try like like if i close my eyes right and i go holy [ __ ] i never need to move again i never need to move again right like i'm talking about a contraption that like i i can hire enough people for the rest of my life where i i just don't have to do anything i didn't have to walk to this van i could have someone like carry me here like so if i think like that then it's like holy [ __ ] you know um then and then like you don't know this [ __ ] this life until you have it right so people are like oh man you hang out with all these rich people it's like look there's these isms right more money more problems with with uh money is power with great power comes great responsibility like these things are all true for a reason you know and i i could be like well i didn't want this i didn't want this responsibility and you know in that case i kind of sound like spider-man like i didn't want this it's like well you have it now right so you have a responsibility that you didn't want and now you got to do something with it and so that's what i'm doing that's i i don't really like talk about it that much um like one of the things uh you know five seven years ago was when i was like the most out of my [ __ ] mind you know and and um part of getting better is is service work right and and like i'm like i'm not like i don't [ __ ] need to lift a finger i'm not help you know like oh you want me to help someone here's a check and they're like that's easy to write a check for you like you got to do you got to like put your effort and action you know so i'm like super into animals i'm super into like dolphin therapy horse therapy and like the first time i did horse there have you done it you point there god knows all about it my sponsor is like the the equine yeah yeah for equine therapy on the east coast and west coast so all right so like the first time i did horse therapy i don't know how to ride a horse so i'm like oh cool i'm gonna ride a horse and they're like oh no you don't even touch the horse and i was like what what the [ __ ] and they're like um horse therapy is like or the one i the ones i did was like how do you get horse from a point a to point b without touching it so then you see all the addicts go go get over there or like trying to bribe him with the apple and it's like it's just like when you calm down the horse mirrors you right so when you calm down the horse calms down so and then it follows you so i'm i'm like all right cool like that's i want to do something with that so i was living in arizona a few years ago and i volunteered at this ranch who does equine therapy with um at-risk youth uh like kids with autism and just special needs and addicts and i'm like dude i'm gonna become like this horse and they go um we don't need any we need tons of volunteers but we have enough of those people we need people to shovel [ __ ] and in my mind cause you know i'm like dude i'm [ __ ] dave joe like you know how much like i'll [ __ ] hire a team of people to shovel you know let's my ego flaring up right i'm like i'm not [ __ ] shoving [ __ ] and then my sponsor at the time's like bro we're shoveling [ __ ] that's what you're doing and my ego is just like out of control it's like i am 100 how is this gonna help me get better it's like you don't know what you don't know until you try it right so i shoveled [ __ ] for almost a year i went there every day complaining like you know and i went under there for like a different name because i didn't want anyone to like google me and you know and i'm just like watching kids and like in my mind i'm like i love [ __ ] teaching kids i love like helping people like i want to do that [ __ ] over there and they're like yeah so there's more manure here and you know and and you know that kind of [ __ ] when you do you smell like it all day even if you shower right so i'm smelling like [ __ ] but during during break time like i'm doodling like and so one day the the lady that owns the whole ranch is like um hey johnny hey johnny i you you're like really good at drawing and i was like oh thanks and and she goes you know we're having um you know we're having a special event this weekend for like victims of abuse like do you want to do you want to come and draw portraits of them and i was like yeah sure like and then once again the ego's like [ __ ] do you know do you know how much i charge for this [ __ ] like what you're getting right what do you think i'm working at magic mountain like one of my [ __ ] clowns 15 you know character and i and i go yes i'll yes i'll do that you know so i get there that weekend it's like a special day and it's like all these services for like you know these people that have been abused it's like free hair free manicure like free clothes like all these people setting up and so i sit down with like my little easel and it was all sexually trafficked you know the victims of like ex-prostitutes ex you know and um you know i had been with i don't know how many prostitutes in my life you know all over the world and i just i i just froze up had to take a [ __ ] kind of just hit in the bathroom and i was like i should just go home like i just felt i just felt shame i was just like man i've i've been a part of this and this is not this i can't i can't heavy i can't be here you know and as i start to walk out the door uh the lady's like hey johnny you know first the first woman you know she's ready and she's like so uncomfortable because she's like no one's ever i've only been looked at as like a sexual being i've just been used by men and i'm like oh [ __ ] dude so i sit there and i start drawing her and i'm like i gotta [ __ ] like i gotta make this like the best drawing i've ever done in my life um so so i'm like and i'm a little rusty because i've been doing the shoveling [ __ ] you know so i'm like drawing her and i'm trying to make her as beautiful and i'm like and i'm like really seeing her and then she starts crying because she's like i've never had anyone draw my portrait in like jesus so she goes and she goes takes it to all the other women there and she's like this guy over there just drew that so then the line starts forming and i'm like holy [ __ ] like this is crazy and there was like 50 women there that day and all of them have like the most heartbreaking you know the worst stories ever and you know i the event started at noon or something and they're they were only going to go till five and i stayed till midnight and i drew all of them and like everyone went home and i was still there and um it just like broke me you know just like destroyed me and um there's a part of my ego that's like hey guys you know i'm famous you could sell this thing and you know but it was just it was so raw and so personal and and i go anyone could write a check which i do that also right and i tend to do that anonymously i don't like being hey the dave cho part of this you know i just do that but i'm like i'm i have a skill i can give back like i can help people so like i that's that's where i that's that's how i spend my time i stopped selling my art in 2009 so that's all i do now i do murals i do anything where my art can be seen or received for free online murals posters whatever i just give away or doing murals with kids or people that have been like you know that's that's my work and um when you did the drawings of all these 50 women you say it broke you but the way that you told that story is so beautiful it seems to me that that would have been on some level healing oh i mean it it broke me and it and it healed me you know it just like i i think i just like cried the entire drive home that day and then i just uh i just yeah just the whole thing of addicts don't care about other people addicts don't give a [ __ ] about um and just to clarify anyone listening and it's not a competition i'm not a drug addict i'm not a i'm not a um alcoholic i'm a sex addict a gambling addict recovering food addict alcoho you know workaholic all the process addictions you know shopping sex food love all those things and like the the final ones that i'm struggling with are food and me too right like i mean when i met stevo this is my first conversation he comes into my house i'm you know the koreatown house and i'm and i'm painting him for the show and he's like bro i'm skyjacking he's like he's like i don't i don't he's like he's like explaining to me i don't ever watch porn again i don't watch porn anymore i'm like tell me how you did it and then in the next breath he goes so i'm watching porn as i'm jerking out off out and i go wait what he goes yeah i was trying to come right as i pulled the parachute and and and i had to watch porn i go and it's what i say all the time and it's the it's our like loophole it's for work but it was for work right for guys like us that turned our hobbies into our careers it's like oh i'm gonna do the most [ __ ] up [ __ ] that's not okay but it's for work yeah right legit it is the only time i watched porn in in years i mean no judging bro by the way i'm just saying like and i'm also a drug addict and i did the riding the bicycle thing with the general anesthesia drug yeah you know that's like taking drugs for work that was even more scary that's like david's saying like okay i'm gonna start painting prostitutes that i [ __ ] while i [ __ ] him but but i did do that did you really yeah there was so many things that i did in my addiction that i didn't want to do but content oh this is gonna be my book later yeah wow like this is gonna this is gonna be in the documentary it's gonna be you know everything is going to be a dope story for when i get to wild ride one day you know with the blue lighting in the back and so when i say addicts don't give a [ __ ] i mean they just want what they want they don't think about like oh i'm going to kill myself or i'm going to overdose they don't think about how that's gonna affect their family their families families like all the people around them it's just like this behavior is just like a tornado just ripping through and so i'm like oh i'm horny i wanna have sex right now i'm gonna get a prostitute she comes she's like a supermodel that's doing this on the side i'm like oh she's not like a sex traffic worker you know and there's no consideration of her trauma of where she's from how she and it's just like i want what i want right now and she's she's she's selling her body and i'm willing to buy it so we're adults and we're you know it's all good so i don't see the problem there you know and that's just my life i was like everyone's an adult everyone's making their decisions good and bad and so um when i say that broke me that's what i'm talking about it just it just like i i went to i i was doing an s program too and uh when i went through my inventory yeah my sponsor at the time owned a uh a woman's battered shelter and so i i went there and like you know i put in hours you know yeah for each number on the list that i couldn't make amends to or whatever and i was there for a while and uh you know finally got to know some of the girls and they were like you know what are you what are you doing here and they all crowded around and i was like you know i'm making amends for like i was an [ __ ] to women and this and that that [ __ ] me up because that's like me as i'm telling them why i'm there there's like little girls around them and i'm just like looking at all these girls like dude like [ __ ] yeah it was heavy but this is how change happens right yeah so so so yeah my final my final area my problem area is work and food like and so i'm sitting at the doctor's office going in my entitlement issues that's my character defect right i'm like i'm rich i should i do all these good things for people and a lot of things that people don't know about and i'm this good dude that's just like helping people so i should eat whatever the [ __ ] i want and if i want to get healthy i should do the michael jackson [ __ ] and just like hyperv you know the chamber and all you know and i sit there and i go no i'm not going to do this [ __ ] like it feels very addict-y i feels like if the stem cell thing goes well that i'll keep coming back and i'll basically be living in colombia and getting it shot up into every part of my body and if there's the you know um so so i said no for now i walked out of there and then i went into sad guy victim mode of like you know i'm just like just be the fat guy people like you better when you're fatter like you're you're you know i mean you're giving yourself a pretty hard time you're not all right you know i wish like all right so then i so then i go on this is all happening around the same time then i go on rich roll and then he like i said he didn't say [ __ ] i shamed i gave myself the hard time i'm like this [ __ ] because i'm reading just his first chapter and he's like i couldn't walk up the steps like you know i was like you know very similar like i'm in my 40s and like i have everything to live for and yet i can't even so i sit there and i go [ __ ] man i can't get my [ __ ] to like i can't and i know that there's overeaters anonymous i know there's food programs i could get involved with so i decided to get healthy for the best possible reason a reality television show so i get hit up two weeks ago two and a half weeks ago i get hit up uh now let me see how true no not for xfx and i'm trying to figure out how most truthfully i could tell the story without getting anyone in trouble i'll try and i guess let me ask you a question yeah um because because so much of of what you've been talking about it really points to shame absolutely yeah with rich role you're like i gave myself all this shame and you know like you you seem to have a real knack for beating yourself up and there's a saying like if anybody else was like treated me the way i treat me i'd [ __ ] kill that person you know like and and so my question is do you think that that it's actually the motivation or the addiction is to shame oh [ __ ] yeah bro we like that [ __ ] right because like how did how did it feel being called crackhead by conor mcgregor yeah as soon as i saw it i was like stevo's loving this [ __ ] i was like i was like there's zero part of him that's offended by that i absolutely absolutely loved it but my example for that is like with food yeah i would find myself uh here after a meal yeah as soon as i as soon as i had swallowed my last bite all of a sudden i want sugar so bad i'm turning into a werewolf and i just wanted i want the dessert and then i start negotiating with myself and then i think oh man i want dessert but i'm gonna feel bad if i eat the dessert you know like oh i should i shouldn't i shouldn't do it i shouldn't do it and then like i just somehow arrive at like oh [ __ ] it i'm just gonna [ __ ] go for it and then like the question becomes this is a legitimate question what was i actually choosing was i choosing to have the dessert or was i choosing to have uh the beat myself up the shame like is was that the reward right i was seeking like yeah there's some kind of [ __ ] perverse pleasure or reward in in shame where that's actually why right so people listening right now are like i'm addicted to alcohol i'm addicted to food i'm a dick you know whatever your addiction is or whoever you love in your life is addicted to something you're like that's the problem that magic spoon cereal that that heroine or whatever it's the trauma like the shame right you're addicted to the shame that's the codependence is the root of it it's just the alcohol ends up being the symptoms the dysfunctional like self-medicating tool that you choose to deal with the trauma that's the whole inside that you can't fill with any of that right so that's a so that's it right and and that's why people who aren't addicts have such a hard time understanding they're like wait bro you won a million dollars at the blackjack table why are you still playing like any normal people person would walk up goes grab a party but you want to sit there till you lose 10 million dollars and i'm like kind of feels better and they're like wait i don't i don't or like wait you had one drink and you're having you got a good buzz going you're having a good time you want to keep drinking until you almost kill someone and like are puking and everyone's laughing at you and you're like yes yes like so so in that way and i swear i'm not trying to do this to plug the tv show i know that show is dope and for anyone who hasn't seen the show show i'm like that show's [ __ ] dope and i love it and i'm so proud of like i don't have shame about i have a lot of pride about it and it's just not doing as well as i i thought and so i go why is that and as soon as the show hit two of the biggest celebrities on the planet like i'm not gonna say their name but like separately contacted me through my my manager and and scarlett johansson is brad pitt tom cruise that level that level and they're like it is insane what you're doing about awareness for addiction mental health um you know just all this stuff and you're talking so it's so brave and the whole time in my head i'm like dude please be on my show please be on my show and they're just big upping me they're just blowing smoke out they're like it's [ __ ] like it it resonated i go you won't be on the show and they're like hell no i'm just calling you to let you know i'm glad you're doing it i would never be on your show and i'm like can you plug it at least and they're like hell no because that means what and it's shame again like i have a friend who's a very close friend of mine and he's like i need to watch the cho show like it's porn because every time my wife comes in i close the laptop and she's like what are you watching and he's like i don't want to tell her because it's such a hard show to watch with the topics you talk about because if i watch it with my wife we're going to have to have a talk about this stuff and i don't want to have that talk but on the flip side like there was an episode where it was just all about jerking off and how i can't stop jerking off and how it's like in our society we just turn into a joke but it's a real problem and and another friend of mine watched it with his 16 year old son and because he has the apps to monitor his his 16 year old son who has a brand new cell phone he's like kid's jerking off like crazy like it's like we watched it no he could he can see on his phone what he's looking up and it's just and he's like i have no idea no tools on how to have this conversation with my son so i'm like let's watch this show together they watched an episode and then it's like look stevo jerks off while jumping out of planes dave jerks off like it's it he's like it provided a space where i can have that conversation with my son but because of the the nature of so much of the things you talk about on a show are shameful it's causing shame in me to even talk like the network called me they're like bro not one of your guests has plugged the show on social media and why is that and i'm like i don't know like and and i and and you know so then i start beating i'm like man the show must suck but i know it doesn't suck i know it's awesome and then it's like well maybe they don't they don't want to talk they don't want to promote the things that they talked about on there and you know there was a you know a lot of episodes that got pulled because the guests were like i don't i'm not cool with that being out there like wow yeah and so um so shame is a powerful drug and i and i could definitely get high off of it so and it's a you know like i've had sponsors that have been very loving and kind and they're like let's go through the steps you know and i'm like you know i kind of i kind of like being yelled at i kind of like the more sergeant like hey we're doing this or else you know because that ties into my trauma of like neglect and abandonment you know like which is um you know like how do you measure how do you measure neglect you know so yes i'm being i i think that's the the missing component with most people when they're like i don't because they're because at the end of the day they're using logic right you're like wait does not compute a plus b equals c like why it's like you're using logic to talk about things that are not logical like why are you trying to if i was in that situation i wouldn't like first of all every [ __ ] billionaire i know is sick they're not they're they're mentally not a normal person stops at a million a normal person goes i made 200 million dollars this year that's enough to make a billion dollars there's some [ __ ] going on yeah so when you go when i would have no you would never get a billion dollars unless you were sick like that you got to be [ __ ] up to make a billion dollars wow you know like i i saw that there was like a survey of uh people who like about financial security yeah and the more money people have the less financially secure they feel like it was like reported that people with over 10 million dollars of net worth felt like way more anxious about financial insecurity than like people like with like whatever i just i i i don't want to say everything i said on the ritual podcast but talking about it there reminded me of something while i was walking to here is um in 1994 uh a band called corn put out a song called spelled f-a-g-e-t and it wasn't about like calling people it was jonathan davis the singer of that band that's what people were calling him and i was 15 at the time when that song came out and um i remember the songs it was it was that song and there's another song on korn's uh self it was their first album was called corn uh daddy it was like a 14 minute song at the end where he's just crying and just never heard anything like that and um in the trifecta of grunge music nirvana pearl jam sound garden being the the third stepchild there's a song called slaves and bulldozers where chris cornell hits every octave now i know why you've been shaking and it's like all like in hindsight now looking back at like all my heroes like every single musician athlete that i look up to has been sexually molested all my favorite singers are sexually molested all my favorite athletes are sexually molested and but i didn't know that at 15 and at 15 was right when i was getting into graffiti and that movie pump up the volume just came out with a christian slater and that's the first time i heard the word cockering so i went to um right here where trejo's tacos or trejo's donuts is on santa monica was a sex shop and that's where i shoplifted my first [ __ ] ring and uh sorry i'm all over the place my dad the only sex talk he ever had with me this is the only thing like in that and i went to jail for shoplifting and graffiti when i was 15 also is when he was driving me to do um juvenile alternative work service cleaning [ __ ] up on the freeway he was like he found my porn stash you know it was a television were you holding it for someone else that's what i told him did you ever say that oh yeah that's like a for you know yeah it's not my i remember i was like it's john lee's and eddie's like the like i didn't even come up with the name of his or her start up holding it from my friend well no my my friend i don't know my brother was working at big brother so all the hustlers were stashed in my oh yeah it was like are you actually we're holding i was holding it no i don't know i mean they're just piled in my room i had like 500 because he worked at hustler yeah and so i had this porn stash which was a telephone book because that's and then in like i glued on the inside of each telephone book with a glue stick like a page out of victoria's secret or something i saw on some mac it wasn't like i didn't have access to like big brother and that stuff yet but later on i got some good stories for that and then i would put that telephone book with another normal telephone book and i would like hide it like i hid it well but because i just got arrested part of the probation officer was like go through the room like see if they have drugs weapons so he found it and so while he was driving me back from like picking trash off the freeway he's like you know you know me and your mother we're christians so we can't have stuff like this in the house and i was like oh that's that's john lee's he came over and like and he's like yeah well whoever it is it's it's gone and he and then he like pauses for a second and says you know i was young too you know and it's just normal to have boners and i'm like oh god please and he goes you know i'll tell you what my teacher told me when i when i was hitting puberty in korea he's like take a cold shower because a boner is blood it's a lot of blood to your penis and i'm just like [ __ ] dude stop talking to me and he goes and just run your boner away just go outside and just run and then that blood will redistribute as you're running and so that was the first and only talk i've ever had with my dad about sex and you know within that you know i never stopped crying by the way because of like i was you know until i was like 27. so i go and i shoplift this [ __ ] ring and basically this was my uh like i'm realizing it now as i'm saying it out loud it was a ritual i'd steal spray paint because i couldn't afford it i'd get like i get like as jacked up as i can you know like that that boner you have when you're a teenager when you can like hammer nails with it and then i put a [ __ ] ring around it so i could just be hard the whole time like literally and then i would start punching my face while listening to screaming at myself you are and like blood would be like dripping on my shirt and on my dick and um listening to slaves and bulldozers um sound garden like corn and i would just almost i guess i was getting high i was putting myself into like a shame like you're a piece of [ __ ] you're nothing and no one can touch you no one can do anything to you because now you've just hyped yourself up by listening to new metal you've hyped yourself up by like like literally getting the blood going out of your face you're literally hard down here and then i would just go out and in the same way stevo is a very typical korean name david cho is the same thing as being named john smith and i would go out and tag david cho like i didn't have a cool gang i didn't and i would just write my name all over the city i'd draw this like stupid whale and i would just be so happy i was like i am breaking the law i'm vandalizing i'm stealing the tools to vandalize with no one can beat me up because i just beat myself up no one can call me anything because i just called myself that and it was the happiest i ever was because i had nothing i didn't have a dime to my name i didn't have anything and so when you and i'm sorry i'm like all over the place but when you say people get less financially or like secure as they get more money that did happen to me because it's like even doing a show like on tv is wait a second you want to hear something that [ __ ] me up yeah uh this saying um a poor man only has to worry about his next meal but a rich man has to worry about his last meal um interesting yeah yeah that's super fun if your next meal is all covered yeah and then we're like hey dude you get dark when you when you're yeah it's not being in the present yes of course it's future tripping and and yeah so it's like [ __ ] man when i don't have anything i just do whatever i want i [ __ ] hitchhike i do this and that and then wait the financial security and freedom that should be coming from being filthy [ __ ] rich is now i'm like a stressed induced [ __ ] like right and like i love fx like fx is [ __ ] awesome they've created some of the best tv shows i've ever watched the shield sons of anarchy all that stuff but in the same way there's rules to being on tv bad too huh yeah oh no that's amc oh eric character but like this sunday in philadelphia this is dope stevo calls me i come we [ __ ] shoot the [ __ ] in the car and it's like and then you put it out you know like when you do tv there's rules there's regulations and it feels weird to be like i'm [ __ ] rich i can make machines that work me out while i'm sleeping i can do you know and and now there's someone telling me oh you got to cut this scene or you can't do this and it's like i'm not used to hearing people say say no to me so it's like and and then it's like well if i say the wrong thing and i get cancelled and i get da da da and people take things from me and that's all like perception like i i and and that's that's kind of like the life i live which is stress-free i for the most part you know i don't do podcasts i just chill i like i paint with kids like i spend time i you know you know i do all this stuff and i don't like talking about it because i don't want to be that guy and my therapist said you know you should kind of check yourself on that because you get kind of even like telling that story like you get so hyped up when you're like hey i need to [ __ ] beat myself up and steal and do all this [ __ ] and then like when you're like oh like you're almost ashamed about the good work you do like you don't want to talk about it because then you're that guy that's like hey you know so anyways you're correct i get high off shame i'm working on it and um and so i'm sitting there two and a half weeks ago and i'm like i'm not gonna get lose all this weight with this machine that's that that i'm not going to pay for not with the stem cell you know still open i guess but you know i'm not i didn't do that dive yet the jeff bezos anti-aging paper all the [ __ ] dive and kind of just settling until i'm a [ __ ] fat guy and then i get hit up all right i won't say that i guess i could talk about it without saying so it's a reality show in the vein of and i love these shows competitive like survival shows like survivor naked and afraid uh amazing race like i love those shows like that's my that's i love that so i just never thought i'd get hit up to be on one of those shows and they're like and it's filming in two weeks and i'm like wait a second wait a second what the [ __ ] dude like who who who dropped out and they're like click they're like got covered and i'm like oh okay so so i i'm like i i know i'm not like an a-list dude like so i'm like the literally the last guy and i'm like if you're calling me that means you probably called stevo and everyone yeah and the guy's like i'm not trying to be like used car salesman but the offer is out to 10 people so whoever gets back first is and in my mind i'm like but then again i think that the one i got called about we we could talk about it afterwards yeah i'll tell you after but uh i think it would have already happened for some reason i'm but i'm betting it's probably probably the same well we'll see but it's a show to test like your limits and there's a charitable component there's a charitable component to it and so and it's for network too it's network tv so i'm like they can't go get more populous than that right fx is it's a major network i wonder what the landscape of [ __ ] streaming and everything you know like if networks are even dead you know but so everyone that i know and this gets into some douchey talk but all the showbiz people i know are like networks are dead they're not dead but they're on their way out certainly they're trying to compete in hospice well this is how i know of course was commercials the last time i saw stevo out in public in the wild was at the conor mcgregor fight right and for me i haven't been out forever and so you know and it's like um here's like it's such a strange like microcosm of like how the universe and and social behavior but we go to the fight and here's like the vip section for the super vips and the kind of vips and billionaire row right bro yeah and it's like and you know i rolled in with sia who i you know i think is the dude she's the best so so you see all these celebrities that you've seen on tv and you're all sitting next to each other and like so you feel like everyone kind of feels but it's like first day of like kindergarten like yeah it's like do i just hey you all know each other but you don't you don't know each other at all and i i'm with a group of people our age and like younger kids so um i think mel gibson was sitting next to you right really he was a rower to a in front so and i'm sitting and i'm sitting adjacent right and the kids that i'm sitting with they're like in their 20s and they're like who is that like people are like some people are booing him some people are waving him because we were there early right and um i was super psyched to see you oh that was like to see you too yeah and i was doing a selfie video like hey i'm at the fight and then like because i'm with some famous people i see mel gibson like you know scanning my area and like right when he made eye contact with me i flicked him off and but but i was filming it like i have a video of it oh yeah and he saw it and he saw it and i'm like felt horrible immediately after because i'm like i'm like [ __ ] that racist you know like and i don't know the guy right yeah like he might be like an awesome guy but just in my mind i got caught up with like [ __ ] mel gibson and i and i was filming myself and i did this and it was right when we made eye contact and i could see actually he was a little bummed out and maybe i'm making that up but i saw in his eyes oh like a miniature death like like oh wow i had a i had a weird encounter with him that night oh you did i mean i'm not even sure what it was i'm not even sure what it was but uh but i acknowledged him in some way and i felt like oh like he wasn't stoked about it you know oh i don't know like i can't say it for sure but it felt like kind of crappy yeah i just wasn't happy to meet you or something yeah there's something right you're like hey what's up dude big fan he's like ah cool yeah no stevo is like the best that because everyone loves him yeah and you could tell like you you love fighting more than anybody and i do enjoy watching and i and the thing is i do too but i feel shame about it because i'm like why because i'm like because that's like hurt because that fight we talked about the dude that god pummeled right he just i forgot i should know his name all right you mean the oh that was sugar shawn o'malley fought oh the guy just like portugal guy right and to see it on tv is one thing to be sitting there and hearing the blood and the guy won't go down and everyone's on their feet screaming by the way if you ever got into fighting i'm like not to say that you were that guy you have your super power is you're able to disassociate to feel no pain you would be you would be a great great fighter yeah laughed again yeah knocked you unconscious it's like when i saw dana white it would be great to put on a fight between me and justin bieber because justin bieber can throw a punch and i can take a punch so i feel immediately horrible i send the video to my guy who uploads on my social media i'm like hey throw this video of me like flicking off mail gifts and he's like is that really in line with like your like who you are today and i go don't don't put it up 10 seconds later trump walks into the building and i do it again he sits there he's walking through his entourage and i hang over and i go like i wanted to get it like right in his face and then i go also don't know the guy right like i i hear of what he's done but like i don't know that guy and i go i mean we know enough about trump to but i felt bad i'm like that that's the answer to flick like so anyways the point is we're at these fights the kids they don't know who jared leto is they don't know who the [ __ ] mel gibson is yeah then the nelk boys come in everybody's going nuts everyone's going nuts and i'm like i have no [ __ ] idea who is it guys logan paul comes in with his brother they go nuts it's like that's who the celebrities are like brad pitt is not a list anymore right you said something pretty interesting to me when uh we had dinner recently you were saying that uh you know you've got this motivation to be remembered forever and like you know like dude it's not going to happen dude like you're not even like a hundred years from now like it it's not gonna it's like getting in a car and getting an uber and then like smells like teen spirit comes on and the 25 year old kid driving the car is like oh what is this and i go you don't know [ __ ] nirvana and i go oh yeah that's classic rock now jay-z is old people music like people that live their life for legacy it's like bro it's a rap it's a rap dude it's a [ __ ] rap like no one is going to give a [ __ ] about you and like there's so much [ __ ] they're so like right and and and that's what people want they want authenticity they want these things and so for my ego i go okay here's the usual suspects that are going to be on this survival show washed up actors a fat guy a black guy a crazy woman like they got the whole thing and i'm like so i'm i'm sure i'm being could be cast as the crazy guy and because the guy was desperate and they're like trying to find the last guy he told me who the other guests were and all this other [ __ ] that he wasn't supposed to and and so in my mind i go oh he thinks i weigh 205 right now he thinks i'm like out of shape i'm gonna get [ __ ] jacked i'm gonna get ripped i'm gonna come in prepared i'm gonna have [ __ ] research on every single one of these guests i'm gonna have a sketchbook i'm gonna it's uh i'm gonna have like drawings of them so i can like manipulate them and then on the show i'm gonna play the most empathetic caring basically me like who i am but then when they do the camera self-confessional i'm gonna be like the heel the evil guy and i'm writing all this [ __ ] and and and guys in my recovery group and my therapist are like you're in your addiction right now of of being an attention [ __ ] of like your ego like and and i go no no i'm not because this show is about charity and about help and it's about being it's trying to be a feel-good show right right so i go in all the ways that i feel like my show failed like it didn't become like this big thing this is a major network it's populist if they dumb down my message to like 30 40 of what i say even that's enough you know and and so i just in a very unhealthy way start working out four hours a day i lost 15 pounds in two weeks um and and yeah i'm doing all that [ __ ] i'm doing the cryotherapy the uv and all this stuff and um it's just like dude i gotta do it it's like it's some of that messiah martyr complex like i gotta go on this show i gotta make it my show you're not gonna do it i said no and and about that i feel mostly relief um and a tiny bit of sadness and regret you know huh you want to be the heel for a charity show yeah you didn't hear the shame part like i it's like there's something very satisfying about people calling you a crackhead people like people hating you like yeah and you know that right yeah you go do something and like people like and i'm sitting here talking [ __ ] about my own show the people who watch it love it dude they [ __ ] fall out i [ __ ] loved it but it's like that's what i focus on the one thing that they don't like and then that's where my attention is because that feels more it's like the comment section of youtube you know sure right but the shame addiction is like freeing almost the way you're explaining it's like everyone's fear is like that people will hate you yeah you'll be this enemy so like you you do it or like now you're free you know like now that worst thing that can happen to you and like i watched your show in a in a room full of people super uncomfortable why are you sitting back there why am i back here yeah i don't know this is just where my seat is but is that is that are you i'm ashamed of myself i put myself over here no i've watched the show so many times i've like do you ever sit up up here yeah i'm like for zooms i'm sometimes here okay but i'm not i'm never back there but you're so handsome thank you yeah but um but we watched your show in a group people are super uncomfortable but then we're like we got to watch another one like the we felt yeah discomfort watching it but there's also something really freeing and like relieving about like okay like the fear is like what if i have to sit next to someone and feel uncomfortable and like sit next to my girlfriend while we watch this like think about jacking off but like now we did it like i you feel better you know it's kind of like puts you through your worst fear and maybe that's part of the shame addiction it's like you're free after that because the fear is shame you know yeah and and like one of the episodes that got pulled like i like i feel like you and me like are very similar like we're very comfortable um like being a victim or being like like at like i'm i'll just speak for myself i'm very comfortable when people hate me like i'm like okay cool now i'm in my comfort zone i don't i don't know that i i can you're not that way i didn't yeah i totally don't want people to hate me [Laughter] but like but like just like the conor mcgregor thing like when he called you a croc head on twitter like that was silly yeah yeah i i can he liked the attention of course right and that's what i mean when people hate me they usually hate like when i'm paying attention they're like and you were on episode four you did this and and i'm like you hate me so much yet you watched everything i do you pay attention to my career so it's like i know you're a fan and you're just trying to get attention in your way and me getting the shame of you humiliating me or writing hurtful things is also attention for me you know so um yeah i i that's the thing that i the show has been unbelievably received by the people who watched it and loved it and i can sit and i'm sitting here focusing on like oh well this guy didn't retweet it or post it and like just like he said none of your guests post about it on social media and i was like [ __ ] but like i it's not that i didn't want to promote your show i just never promote anything like i don't even promote my my phone yeah i just don't i go on a show i never promoted no matter what it is pretty much i i i was not calling you out in any way i didn't think that you were but uh but um [Music] we certainly got the the you know the chance to s yeah it's a really cool show i highly recommend it honestly yeah but that there is shame in like to do a show like that and like i can be proud like i am proud of the show i put out and then to have so many people like pat me on the back and give me the atta boys and be like bro like it's it's such a brave thing and like all that that gives me shame right the good the good part is like ah [ __ ] dude i'm not used to like i'm used to doing something and then being polarizing and half the people hate and this and that and uh yeah like even yeah that was i'm just thinking of how we ended up having dinner at sia's house because i went to the fights with sia yeah and we saw you to um see this thing on sunday oh you're going on sunday we're gonna come all right i gotta i gotta i gotta get to your place where i can just enjoy it because i'm like i'm i'm in this place where my life is about helping people and in a way it always has and yet i just enjoy someone's like i like it when the legs break i hear when the uh when someone fights i i enjoy like it's not a fight without the knockout and something being why don't we watch the fights together oh my god because i feel like that's what i'm telling you like i feel like i it's like eating like a cake that you shouldn't eat when you're diabetic or something but people are like dude chill the [ __ ] out and just watch did i tell you about when i met neil donald walsh the conversations with god author and i told him i'm coming from yeah like i'm here to hear you speak about spirituality and i'm going to a ufc event like what's wrong with me right is that wrong and he said i wouldn't choose to go to a ufc fight but but like i i encourage you to enjoy yourself right that's what he said are you encouraging me to enjoy myself yeah if i went to see a fight with you i would 100 enjoy myself and all this shame guilt would go away yeah i'm not going to the fights oh you're going to watch it on tv oh [ __ ] i'll go watch it with you cool man let's do it all right and we don't need to to drag this on any longer i think we we've done a a wonderful job of owning [ __ ] once i i'm feeling i'm feeling shame right now why why i i've realized i used to have a podcast called dvda say and i'd go for four to six hours oh yeah and than this oh really this is a long one for us yeah oh [ __ ] i wish usually an hour we you know i'm gonna be honest like i i watch mostly the clips so i didn't know how long they they go like but the mark is generally one hour oh okay okay [ __ ] yeah give or take so i don't podcast that much but when i used to was four to six hours so when i go on ritual or i go on bobby lee's and they go all right i even though you're telling me that most my mind goes immediately too i'm not being interested enough they're cutting me off this is a hundred percent way longer than usual all right okay all right yeah and dude you've been fantastic i didn't even get into my stevo stories but all right again dude you've been fantastic and i just think that you know i i'm the same way i'm the same way i'm meaner to me than than anybody else but uh like then just [ __ ] give yourself a break over here and do a steve impression yeah yeah dude i'm [ __ ] stephen i'm [ __ ] so mean to myself i [ __ ] shot goodfellas clothes at target i [ __ ] eat all this magic spoon i do cocaine with mike tyson i [ __ ] embarrass the wu-tang clan thanks for losing my show wild ride i don't promote [ __ ] i care about the climate i care about dogs i care about the stimulus package in kovid but i don't give a [ __ ] about myself i stick shark food in my ass and i swim with sharks i [ __ ] jack off while i jump out of airplanes and i light myself on fire come check me out on tour steve-o wild ride listen to the podcast [ __ ] yeah yeah dude that was great yeah i i love it man thanks thank you thank you bro thank you man yeah dude doing that podcast with us legitimately stressed david cho out man that i'm not happy that that's the case but i am super honored that he did it you know like what it would have broke i've actually been seeing him more regularly and uh i'm just considering him a friend which is um crazy you know like i've got rich friends [Music] thank you for sticking around and um yeah dude life is good man super stoked i finished that book i told you about it it's so [ __ ] good but yeah man hustling man

Channel: Steve-O's Wild Ride! - Podcast

Views: 360,229

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Id: reW-p9ds4g4

Length: 90min 43sec (5443 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 29 2021