Dave Chappelle - For What It's Worth part 3/4

I remember right around September 11th the ja Rule was on MTV that's we got ja Rule on the phone to see what Jos thoughts are on this tragic I want to dance I'm scared to death I want some answers the ja Rule might not have right now think when bad [ __ ] happens to me I've been the crib like oh my god this is terrible cuz somebody please find our rule get hold of this [ __ ] I can make sense of all this where is job badly Charu I don't even know why people listen to me I'd say anything like I've done commercials for Coke and Pepsi I don't give a [ __ ] what comes out of my mouth I just say what it takes whatever it takes that's what I'm saying if you want to know the truth can't even taste the difference surprise all I know is Pepsi pay the most recently so tastes better it's pretty much how the game goes I'm just being real man it's too much goo gah gah Novus leveraged people don't know who's fake and what's real anymore that's why Bill Cosby got in trouble look what happened to Bill Cosby Bill Cosby says some real [ __ ] and the whole world freaked out on for what for having an opinion just because he was selling pudding pots for the last 40 years people forget that he's the [ __ ] from Philly and the projects you might say some real [ __ ] from time to time it's not that big of a deal I spoke at my old high school and I told them kids straight up if you guys are serious about making it out of this ghetto you gotta focus you got to stop blaming white people for your problems and you've you've got to learn how to rap we'll play basketball or something let me get trapped you are trapped either do that or sell crack that's your only option that's the only way I've ever seen it work better get to entertaining these white people let me get dancing gonna be somebody I just hope they listen the city's ridiculous people worship television they worship this [ __ ] you know like if you watch a movie right say you watching a movie and one character says another character say hey what's your number man what's the other character always say five five five five five five five you know why we got to do that because stupide is people go to the movies and then go home and try to call it a characters that they did solve hello the [ __ ] is fake is not his number and to be honest this is the worst time in history to be a black celebrity but they locking all our stars up tight right now for black slippers I know it was bad when Kobe got in trouble this is a wrap for us here's one of most wholesome dudes we had lock them up with everything and Kobe kept me together thank God he he held his game together because if he was cracking under pressure and getting like six points a game the whole LA to me like that [ __ ] is guilty Kobe was playing his ass off he was playing like his freedom depended on that [ __ ] you see that's [ __ ] them games and things trying to beat that case on the court like the Jets doing the ball like play for your freedom if I could talk to cope out [ __ ] I just relax you'll be fine man cuz the public is still giving Kobe the benefit of the doubt he's one of the few black celebrities that get there not because he's a celebrity more because you know the girls showed up with eight different seamen's to the investigation you can't do that that's seven too many that's a lot of semen man's but you got Noah's are kind of panties I was just trying to recreate humanity Elsa she's a collector she got every unsolved mysteries the answer might be and his girls paint has the first place out look OJ's other gloves and then Bigfoot's footprint three CSI reruns is a net loafer we've got the most diabolical drawers ever [ __ ] being a celebrity is not the time to be a black star they lock it all off stars up black celebrities the witch hunt for us man god damn it it's all old Jane's fault if since oj got away white people have just been locking up on stars one by one it's true and it's oh it's not even no days fall it's our fault we celebrated too openly when oj got acquitted we should have been quiet about that [ __ ] Susan not guilty oh it hurts no it it hurts burns that mitt Magoo that justice system burns in it well my world all that [ __ ] why people wanted OJ's a is bad city la spent over 12 million dollars just trying it [ __ ] and the look on my people's face when he was acquitted priceless priceless and that's why I don't trip off the bed and still have it I don't like it I don't trust it because one minute they all love you the next thing you know you're in front of that courthouse dance and on top of a car just trying to figure out the [ __ ] happens what I'm waiting for this the talent of this Michael Jackson [ __ ] is what makes me doubt it every time there's Wars going out of control the kind of [ __ ] bad or something is wrong with the world at large it's always these moments in history that Michael Jackson will coincidentally jerk off okay this is getting a little ridiculous are you planning this ship you have meetings Michael thank you for coming as you know Michael the war has not been going as well as we expected there's been a lot of hiccups and the public's asking us a lot of questions of course well Michael there's no nice way to say this and all I know how to do is be direct so let me just be direct we're gonna need you to jerk off another child Mike I'm sorry I am sorry but it would really help out or maybe he did it who knows who knows that's the thing that's what I want to say who knows who the [ __ ] knows Mike God and this little boy no that's that's about it it's about it only reason that I can even talk about this [ __ ] is because everybody is speculating they all think he did it and I don't think he did it I'm alone in this I don't think he did it I'm not gonna say I don't think you did it that's too strong let me just say I am reserving judgment until all the facts come out but so far from what I heard me the kid said he's dying of cancer he was in make-a-wish Foundation he claims he had two weeks to live and it was his dying wish to meet Michael Jackson come on man give me a [ __ ] break whose kid is ten years old he don't remember thriller the [ __ ] you want to meet Michael Jackson for honestly I remember thriller and I just like kinda wanna meet the snick Mike I wouldn't break an appointment to meet him I put a dead way I'd have to already be free it's like a band go get me in a room with Chubby Checker I wouldn't want to meet that [ __ ] that my last two weeks I'll show somebody like this so then the kid claims he goes to Michael's house is where it all gets crazy I don't know like you know he does everything you'd expect at Michael's house they climb trees and road roller coasters and Ferris wheels the chef made cookies pies and cakes they was petting them out in drag sing songs kid [ __ ] and in the middle of all this childlike activity for some reason Mike pulled out some wine and some pills and suck this kid's dick folks it hurts me to say it and the kid had the nerve to call that abuse [ __ ] that is a good host guy hey what else do you want what else do you want a blogger to get a glass of a great drink at my friend's house load of rovco's riding my dick sucked Mike must be confused like I brought you in my house I pinched you I sucked your dick and this is how you repaid me [ __ ] this is your wish that man thought you were down in two weeks what happened that little buddies I've been a cop for a year and a half he gets wrong every time I see you whenever this is [ __ ] I shouldn't even say the [ __ ] wouldn't be some ironic [ __ ] if they found out through this case that the cure for cancer was Michael Jackson sucking your dick sometimes but it might have powers like Green Mile and all the kids like please by God it will never again really didn't appreciate it and we at least study your saliva please Mike he's then stopped though this doesn't stop and the only reason I could talk about Mike is because he's a freak he's a freak that's why people let you talk about cuz if I brought up Catholic priests [ __ ] kids it would get quite a [ __ ] but but when Michael Jackson does it it's okay because he's a freaking face is all cut up but just remember when you look at that thing that he calls his face he did that for you somehow somehow he thought you might maybe it'll help maybe people will like me more if I turn myself into a white guru like creech I don't know what the [ __ ] it is but he did it for you and I appreciate the gesture Michael Jackson if you're watching us I appreciate that gesture and I want you to know [ __ ] everybody same Chappelle understands cuz you want to know something I'm getting some work done surprise yes nothing major you would never know if I didn't tell you what is some [ __ ] I'm insecure bout that I want to work on if you must know I'm getting Botox done on my bowls to get these wrinkles out finally happy should smooth his eggs no I can't wait I cannot wait and I'm not stopping there that's just phase one baby it'd be like Bob Vila these old balls I'm fixing them up I'm plucking all the hair out I gotta make room I know this I gotta make room I'm gonna tattoo a gangsta ass face on mean expressions like this then I grow two hair back on the bottom so they got beards like me then I'm hitting that beach and looking for balls suckers we have some high shorts just like this and walk up the women with a confidence I have never had before pardon me miss I don't mean to be rude but the suck balls excuse me miss relax you didn't even let me finish do you suck these balls oh my god those balls are as smooth as eggs yes I played this scenario out in my man a million times lady that's how it always ends yes I'll suck those balls all our stars all our stars our Kelly pissed on his victim I know it was rough but I mean again I can't even judge art Kelly first of all we don't know if these allegations true and that even they aren't true if you want to know how I feel about it honestly if a man cannot pee on his fans I don't want to be in show business anymore because well that's why I got in the game baby I got dreams too you guys are confusing the issue why you guys are busy worrying about if our Kelly even peed on this girl at night you're not asking yourself the real question that America needs to decide once and for all and that question is how old is 15 really oh that's a good question that's a good question I'm not saying that a person is as smart is there gonna be a 15 that's not what I'm saying man but I am saying 15 to me it's old enough to decide whether or not you wanna be pissed on I mean that's me if you can't make a decision like that by the time you're 15 and just give up [ __ ] because life is way harder than that I make tougher decisions all the time you don't want to get pissed now just get the [ __ ] out of the way it's not even a decision if I stop peeing on the front row they're not gonna have to calculate and think of how do I feel about this my okay with it they just move

Channel: Admiral Schafkopf

Views: 7,420,398

Keywords: Dave, Chappelle, For, What, It's, Worth, Rick, James, bitch, homeless, dude, jerking, off, yellow, shirt, grey, jacket, thats, doo, baby

Id: Xe4H2zZO-gA

Length: 14min 42sec (882 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 03 2011