DANA CARVEY - FUNNIEST VOICES EVER

all right we always have a great time when my first guest is there Emmy winning actor and comedian he'd be performing in Las Vegas at the Mirage Hotel from the 19th through the 21st that would include the 20th if you've never seen in present one of the best stand-up please go semen bro just terrific Dana Carvey ladies done we're push-ups it'd be amazing getting in shape this is the world's greatest crowd I feel like we've already made love no I've been working out with my trainer we're working on a book the title of the book is I don't know if you kids will relate to this is you better get in shape because science won't let you die the lovely title lovely title well we discovered that what happens when you're a kid you're jumping leaping grabbing and all your muscles are balanced as you get older you're at the type of our all-time or computer whatever your lower glute atrophy so the first thing is your hips come forward okay like that pay attention Jay yes then your abs loosen and your gut sticks out because you have no core strength to hold it in then your upper back gets weak and your and you go out and that's how you walk how are we doing how are you doing in terms I guess I'm doing okay oh hey Kevin you been hey hey well now tomorrow you have Crocodile Hunter no no next week we have crocodile okay attend can I can I at least do the joke - no joke alright let's you know might be a tomorrows Crocodile Hunter Oh her go tell hunter well thank you mr. Lee no yeah he forgot really strong glutes cuz he squats in the swamp you know she's a closer look oh I see a croc when I caught it tight ass cuz I squat gotcha that's good to know well thank you and good night good to see you Jay how are you seeing about you got a problem with your eyes oh yeah you know you ever get something in your eye and it's just it feels so big I thought I had a Lincoln Log in there somehow I had like one round let's get him but I gotta go get it sorry a little sweat Satan twister um it felt like a head lawn furniture in there bonford now I say to people I have something in my eye and they always go have you tried getting it out and I went to the guy and it was like an inch long thing it was stuck in there an inch long would be like a nail gun down sexual or something have you got an intial I have no idea say were you playing with the cat I don't know what's it a hair I think so I was just dragnet I don't know okay your honor oh I got this in my eye this is what you talk there but you know y'all women can see this this is an inch I'm gonna push this in your eyes how do you get something that long in your eyes I know I know what can I say it was in there and I'm fine now I was pretty cranky at the time not as cranky as I was at the gym today Jay really what happened Sumalee odd thing is out of control you know kid loves the iPod on this woman's on the bike next to me and you know they're just they don't know that you can hear him she's like hey really attractive she's very sexy lady but I want to ask you about Valentine's Day the lovely Miss Harvey what do you got to do something a man everyday is Valentine's Day really yeah you know what I'm talking about no I just you know I sent flowers today you know I live up north California and I got this Lebanese florists it's lebanese yeah I think he was he's what do understand the card you know and you want you know you're like okay uh darling sweetheart darling sweetheart what else what else what else what else I love you so much your mere touch excite me mr. Chuck take me with us with us with us with us put the Dell over there it's okay you know there you go Sonny I was suggesting you know what you say if you ever leave me I will hunt you down and kill you and your lover they're not the passion you're not the pump and stuff so happy Valentine's Day to everybody so yeah I'm doing the Mirage okay back doing stand-up yeah I know everything you go see Danny in person it's the great one is it's a great show cuz I worked that room and I have to follow you think Danny was here thinking he killed then I go thank you very much no but Jay is the coolest character ever I'm never opening for you you need to work together yes I'd open for him and Jay would be you know it's like 3,000 people he's the headliner I was not on Centre Night Live I'm doing like 15 I come back in Jake's got a pipe in the paper he's about to be introduced he's like yeah you could use more jokes I mean you're always cool but anyway so they've got you a lot of the daytime TV when you're on the road you watch daytime there's nothing nothing to do I love the faith healer shows they bring the woman out and she's in the Walker right and then they they go then Gina's gonna heal you and they heal her and they take the Walker away and she continues walking like this thank you Jesus thank you Judy you think Jesus would have her go honey yeah you're Jesus right up but you know he doesn't like to show off you know yeah he's like y'all here a little bit but keep the cartilage kind of there you ever watch like Maury Povich oh nice oh I love those she loved Maury who's the father oh yeah who's the father saying you know it's like the nice guy Yui daddy you is daddy you got your ear knew your daddy called it you are the father and then they just start swinging I hear you and then this woman comes out 500 pounds with a midriff going he walk did he you know why you want this cuz I'm gonna Troy yeah hey I'm gonna work out we'll take a break more with Daniel right after this welcome back guys with Dana Carvey listen it's a party here to party no honey honey you know well it's a hee-haw party Wow yes oh sorry no I made you talk about politics you follow that all yeah I the North Korean thing I got a kick out you know cuz they made an announcement funny choice of words you know it's like some kind of wedding thing about we'd like to announce to the world that we actually have a new Co weapon and the UI said will isolate you who cares Eliza Lee I got my noose to keep me cozy at night hmm didn't really go over did it did you know that North Korea got a weapon the other day okay all right Lindsay Lohan and Justin Timberlake and it's extra spicy I miss Tom Brokaw though in the news yes I miss that way talked and he is so great he actually he actually needed oxygen on election night because he said the word gubernatorial too many times and in the gubernatorial election the gubernatorial Coomera twelve election goomar toriel now why are you that working not we've got weapons my Tweety Bird North Korean accent well I want to ask you talk about how about about like like Michael Jackson Michael Jackson I think it's great just imagine some guy in your neighborhood going hi I'm 45 years of age I'm single and I just moved into your neighborhood and I had a bad childhood so I like to have sleepovers uh I know she had a couple boys want you send him along oh here's like locking Lou you know Prince John's getting maybe charged as my theory is they've had a 35-year affair Prince Charles and Camilla parker-bowles when they get married the sex won't be as naughty as hot because they you know he's sanctioned yeah I'm sorry Camille but I don't feel any royal horniness at this moment wait have somebody yell within let's see if you guys like this I'd like to sing a song if I would oh no this is just this talk to anyone your cell phone and the other person's voice is distorted but yours isn't and it's can you keep talking anyway it's like hi hi hi mom your voice is a little weird as my voice okay and she's like yes your voice is fine dear okay well how's it going good did you get the oatmeal cookies that I send yeah mom I did um how what else is going on I worship Satan what I said I'm gonna make some bacon I just hate when that happens yeah thank you for the bike oh yeah certainly now you mentioned how are the kids with you two boys the kids are great living up in Northern California Redwoods have some nice family yeah got my neighbor Mississippi Joe literally zippy just got yeah he's just this is a real guy real sweet guy goes neighbor goes dine hi Dylan my name is Gerald you can call me Mississippi Joe cuz I'm from Mississippi and then he said to me quota goes I know I sound like an idiot but I got a ph day I'll sound like a but I know a man a particle by sight so yeah the kids are great you know I got a thirteen-year-old so it's like you know 13 to new 18 and 50 is the new 40 and I can't wait till deads the new alive yeah that guy did get help raising them do you you do them do you hold me anything we can out of babe sir well we didn't want to have one of you know like these actors that never see the kid just come on with magazine hello here's my child not give it to the British nanny you know yeah some New York act how you doing son come in my son I know I've been around but how you doing son consent hello daddy my nummies they're in a twisty Bunch early thing let's make pudding and I've got a sexy tub later well it's a game Annie apparently but where I live is dog country yeah you have dogs well no I love dogs but instead of stock well you wouldn't have a dog with you why would does have are you go I'm gonna Jack James yeah you know like when you go to a house ding-dong and then you hear the wall twylar behind the door like it's like a horror film you waiting for the door oh you're Nabisco no Nabisco no no they're doing you gotta do that murder I went to a park and I had a Doberman at 100 feet just sprint sprint now me and the owner goes he's just playin he won't bite I'm like he's got his fangs and into my testicle what is that currently the owner is a British nanny wouldn't it the same yeah hi you know Jade the voice is kind of start the internet so I'm gonna be honest with you but twisty Bunch and Prince Charles are very related and tight nasty won't dance folks you can see it all if the Mirage Hotel this weekend the party Dana Carvey

Channel: MyTalkShowHeroes

Views: 2,119,693

Keywords: mytalkshowheroes

Id: dzeFyetcfM0

Length: 12min 40sec (760 seconds)

Published: Fri May 06 2016