DANA CARVEY - FUNNY VOICES

the only the 40-minute subpoena man yeah Oh top that energy I went to see you today you've got the TV on you're watching the hearings yeah are you mesmerize you like to end star the automated you see his speech in the more the two-hour speech the automate and here we found things that the president clearly did wrong I turned my head this way then this way I speak like this he's a little stinker he really can't star I'm not saying that's like thing could be a problem I'm not saying anything like an international symbol is no people just know you can say anything I like red wine yeah I don't know kids start duck down little languorous a little dough headed a little to kind of sticks out and who oh we got he's got a guy at home and like golden women's panties drenched in sweat in a position you know like hey everybody he's a little weird I think could I get killed for saying this no he's uh yeah he's rides me Andy Rooney kind of the voice he's a little Andy Rooney and it really is another nutcase basically hi I'm Andy Rooney and I'm insane my eyebrows are the size of sofa bear I have a small raccoon that lives in my left eyebrow one evening his name is skipper yo interstate so hi this a paper clip it clips paper try not to fall asleep when I talk state's obvious things but Clinton seems to be doing ok through all this wouldn't you say cleanse doing alright I did the only thing that bothered me about the Clinton thing was when he did wag the finger and got all mad at us don't ever wag a finger let me tell you something yeah you know you know I mean you know when you came on he said now hear me now and believe me later he said that hear me now believe me later I did not have sex with that woman miss Lewinsky now if you played the tape back in slow motion he's saying his fingers fingers spelling out I am lied my ass off but you know I think cleanse the King of semantics you can't get him they tried to give him the deposition they go you you are the present well how do you find that what do you mean the in the White House what do you mean in the White House was I in the walls was I in Lewontin these captain he's met you can't get in these two slippery slick Willie man I'm it's like the if he touched her breast this was absurd this huh if he touched her breast with the intent to arouse to the felony yes he said I did not touch her breast with the intent to around my intent was to clean them off this Johnnie Cochran yeah the only guy put a condom on his head you know cleanse a sexy present any he's a horny sexy man morning that he had phone sex apparently was good phone sex isn't easy to do you gotta have an imagination right Ross Perot couldn't even have phone sex you know what are you wearing lady why do you want to know it's 11 o'clock I'd like to come there and take your jammies off lady now I catch a cold let me yeah I'd like to lick your entire body clean with my tongue lady I got a shower they can clean me just fine you want to lick something find an ice-cream cone and we're gonna talk about taking about movie guys that's asking about your kids your kids do they go see all these subtle because they're all like yeah I love the I still what what does I still know what I still know what you did like I still know what you did II never know what's the sequel of that I have a pretty good idea what you might have done the final installment I have no idea what you did last summer and that's why you have to die they said that guy do like NBC shows you know I'm mad about you Jamie buys a sweater and it's too small and now she has to die cuz there's six networks now I watch your show I'm watching NBC and they're doing the promo so fast now it's just like we're gonna be you can't even tell what they're talking about you know French 50 phrase you you ever met about you just shoot the encoder Tony Danza it's like cold in three seconds man frenzy failure but you just let me put it back together I mean people say gonna do a series like I can't do a serious I can't dance they make you dance now kelsey Grammer's out there Fraser's tom brokaw NBC what were you talking about I'm just gonna say you told me you met the new the new friend we have a new president here at NBC's yeah yeah we have the new president of NBC I ran into him and he made it kind of a pep talk to all the NBC affiliates on the tape and I was really I just brought a tape for everyone you have the tape yeah by the way I think it's Bernie Elwood but he's the new president hi I'm Bernie Elwood the new president of NBC programming must-see TV is back and NBC's got nothing to fear Chicago hope I hope it's not too boring too late Ally McBeal should be called Ally McBeal get her a piece of pie Spin City here's my spin it sucks Everybody Loves Raymond guess what I hate him nine oh two one oh look at me I'm 42 and I'm a senior in high school yeah touched by an angel who wants to be touched by Della Reese pray it's not you know Rose please I got one piece of advice for Heather Locklear Heather Locke here hot steaming scooper third Rock from the Sun they're aliens they don't know any better the phone rings we pick up the vacuum hello it's hilarious Oh welcome home to NBC I really felt that from his guts do we step more time I want to talk about stuff you know Fox is coming out tonight we do we do but I know you like you're still on the road you're like you like to work I played a computer convention in Vegas is Bill Gates was the keynote speaker Comdex yeah do you know Bill Gates who made a deal with the devil apparently you can have 56 billion but he has to go through life looking like a turtle I don't like technology I mean you know I don't like computers you do it perfect the arrow freezes I just throw it out the window you can unplug it because it won't turn off it admonishes you you shouldn't have turned me off that way it's just stress cell phones every time I talk to someone it starts going out anyway I was humming I'm in a World War two movie all Red Robin the blue leader Red Robin the blue here you know I called my mother I'm on the cell phone I go mom I put some bengay on my sore shoulder all she hears his mom I'm gay and I'm a sore soldier she meant she misheard it besides just so good they're like a beast I'm trying to tame or something kids but we should get back what how are the kids doing are they and kids are great but you gotta have a thick skin when they get older Mike - seven yeah the other night he looks at me and says dad you're you're cut a little aren't ya you're like a freak you're really small kind of sad I know I said I'm not a freak Oh 30 seconds to put a joke in okay Mike Tyson talked to the boxing hearing yoga Mike Tyson and he gave an impassioned speech he's searching for bigger words and he he reaches and it's good to hear him trying yeah so he goes you know I'm saying you know we got to respect everybody's indivisible is you know I'm fans you know it's like the floundering father said in the decapitation of Independence you know I'm fancy all men are secreted equally

Channel: MyTalkShowHeroes

Views: 144,124

Rating: 4.7813954 out of 5

Keywords: mytalkshowheroes

Id: xqT9rHy2Y54

Length: 10min 11sec (611 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 24 2016