CrossFit - Freelancers - Season 1 Episode 8

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(heavy metal music) - So subscribe to my weight lifting channel today, idiot and get ripped! - And cut. - (grunts) (sighs) Wow, thank you guys so, so much. You are the sweetest. - It's been a pleasure, Mr. Peck. Wow, your hands are so warm. (breathes) - Where were you? I had to run camera and direct. We looked so unprofessional. - Uh, no, I'm pretty sure our new business cards did that for us. - Hey, I told you, okay, I'm sorry I didn't catch the typo. (dramatic music) - Well, can you say sorry 800 more times because that's how many we printed. (dramatic music) - Oh, Clipart. - No, we couldn't afford Clipart, that's Clapfart. - Oh, Clapfart. - Where were you? - I'm sorry I had to help my grandma change a flat tire. - She still drives? - Technically. (beep) (happy music) - Here's a Werther, lovey pie. - My favorite. Thanks grandma. Where you going? - I've got to hit the freeway before rush hour. (jazzy music) (beep) - So video should be done Thursday? - Yes. We would have it to you sooner but we got invited to a black tie gala tomorrow night. - Well, we got invited to film a black tie gala. But we're all still very excited because the food is free. - I shaved my legs for this. (beep) - Fancy, dancy, prancy thighs! (beep) - Okay, truth time. I don't have the money to pay you guys. - What!? And you waited until after we filmed to tell us? I rescind my attraction to you. - What? - Oh, don't be coy! - No listen. I just don't have the money to pay you right now, okay. I got set back thousands of dollars because some weird drifter came in this morning and broke the sauna. - How do you break a sauna? (dramatic music) - It's not easy. But it can be done. - Sauna's in Copenhagen can withstand far more pressure. - [Owen] Mr. Gandolfini?! - What do you mean more pressure? What does he mean more pressure?! - Aren't you a pretty pony? - Okay, get out of here! Leave before you break something else, you creeper. - Farewell my friends! - [Owen] Stop that! We're not friends! - Love you! (Wicket Youth by Sego plays) ♪ Make it mean anything, oh anything you want ♪ (bassy music) - Sanitize this. Look, I'm so sorry, what happened with the payment, but this is a pretty nice gym, okay. You guys can workout here free today. We've got some women's yoga pants in the lost and found, you can borrow those. I'll even throw in a free case of Mr. Pec's Peck Juice. (bottles rattle) (rock music) It's got a real kick, because it's not approved by the FDA. - Oooh - Okay - Well we do have to get into red carpet shape for the gala tomorrow. - Takes more than a day to get into shape. - By this time tomorrow I'm going to look like the Rock's left arm. - Oooh. - What does that even mean? (happy music) - Okay. Workout rule number one, don't eat. Rule number two, sharp pains are your friend. Rule number three, spotters are for quitters. (hand slapping) - Uh! - The more you talk the more concerned I am. - And we can workout here all day, you say? - Yeah, but I wouldn't workout all day. - Oh, we're going to get our money's worth. (electronic dance music) - (gasps loudly) - (breathes rapidly) (bottle rattling) - (screams) ♪ Let's go ♪ - It's a protein explosion! ♪ Let's go ♪ - Your muscles have muscles. (electronic dance music) - Mom! (electronic dance music) - Whoo! (laughs) (grunts) (electronic dance music) - You gotta Pec yourself before you wreck yourself. - (screams) (electronic dance music) - You're doing great, Micah. - We gotta get rid of that expired Pec Juice. (electronic dance music) - (screams) (electronic dance music) - Where's the bathroom? (electronic dance music) - (grunts) - (screams) - (snorts) (groans) Oh. Ah, it hurts to blink. (breathes harshly) I can't move. I'm so sore I can't move! Devin! Devin! - (screams) Whatchu need, girl? - I can't move at all! - I got you. Here I come. (groans) No, I'm paralyzed too. (breathes shakily) Except for this hand. But I can't move the fingers. - This is not good. - What time is it? - I don't know. Morning ti- 6:45 pm! - We slept for 21 hours?! - (groans) The gala's in 45 minutes! Owen wake up! - Ryan! Wake up! - (wretching) - Ew. - (coughs) - What was that? - Mr. Pec's Peck Powder. It layers the esophagus. - Ryan, we have to get dressed and get to the gala in 45 minutes. - Owen! - Owen, oooh, I can kind of move my left leg a little bit. I don't have much control but I'll try and rouse him. (groans) (loud smack) - (groans) (wretching) Why? (breathes in harshly) - Wait. Where's Micah? - He's on the futon perch. Micah! - Micah! We're gonna need to shake him awake. Help me out here Ryan. (soft smack) - (high-pitched groan) We make a good team. - Team Hand Foot! - (groans) (screams) - (screams) - Oh, he dead. - (loudly groans) (sobs) - Oh my gosh, he can't talk. - Oh, he brain dead. - (sobs loudly) - (gasps) - Micah, look at me. - (grunts) - Communicate with your eyes. (gasp) He needs licorice, STAT! - Wait, no, guys! I think his mouth's just screwed up from all those mouth curls he did. (beeps) (electronic dance music) - 45! 46! 47! - (laughs) It is so unethical - 48! that we're just watching this. - Right? - 49! - 50! (triumphant screaming) (belly drums) (beep) - But mouth curls should only make his mouth stronger. - I think we have to face the fact that none of us know how to workout properly. - Speak for yourself! - (gasps) - I'm sorry. I don't know why I felt so defensive about that. - Okay. Everyone, on the count of three, try to get up. One, two, three! (people groaning and screaming) - [Owen] Come on! - (screams) - What's popping?! - (groans) - Okay. Does anybody have a phone on them? We could call for help. - Owen, there's no where to put a phone, we're all wearing yoga pants. - Wait! I have my phone. My yoga pants have a back pocket. Zona, can you reach it? - I can't move my hands. - (sighs) Neither can I. Here, I'll get closer. (groans) - I don't want to do this. - You must. - It's not that weird. He's practically your brother. - That's exactly what makes it weird! - Think of your brother's butt. - (gasps) (hisses) - I can't look away because I did too many neck lurches. - Don't you mean lunges? - That's where I went wrong. - (grunts) - Could you please stop groaning you're hurting my feelings. - (gags) (phone clatters) And it's dead! - Ah, that's right. While we were at the gym I dropped it in the toilet. - (gags) - Well, friends, I think we need to prepare to be found dead this way. - I bet they have all kinds of fancy foods at that gala. Meats. Cheeses. Skittles. - Mmm, hibbles. - I'm not ready to die, guys. I still need to watch The Cosby Show. - No, you don't. - I wanted to go back and look for clues. - Guys, come on, we can do this, okay? We just have to get our clothes on and get to the gala in 40 minutes and then the free feast is ours. - How are we gonna do that, Zona? We only have one hand and one foot functioning between us. - Don't underestimate the power of Team Hand Foot. - A bird in the foot is worth two in the hand! - Makeover! - Makeover! (jaunty music) - Am I beautiful? - No. You look insane. ♪ I've got the power, the power's in me ♪ - Do you guys hear that? - [Mr. Gandolfini] Electricity! - I'm gonna call for help. - From Mr. Gandolfini?! - Zona, death is better than Mr. Gand- - No! - Mr. Gandolfini! - Yes? - Zona! - We really need your help. You have permission to enter the premises. - I've waited for this day! I'll bring my toad bag. - Did he say tote bag or toad bag? - I thought he said toe bag. - I don't want him to bring any of those things. (dramatic music) (people screaming) - How did you get in here so quickly? - I know a secret passage. So this is where the magic happens! (sighs) What can I do for you? (electronic dance music) - Do we all agree to never speak of what just happened? - Absolutely. - Yep. - Looks like my work here is done. (giggles) (bag rustling) Too-da-loo. ♪ I am the very model of a modern Major-General ♪ ♪ I've information vegetable, animal ♪ - This gala better be amazing. - (groans) Guys, I still can't move at all! How are we gonna get there? - I have an idea. Alexa, call Grandma. - We don't have an Alexa, Ryan. - Grandma! - Grandma! ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ We just got to stick together ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ To survive the stormy weather ♪ - You always come when I call. - And I always will, Moose. Always. ♪ You know it's gonna be all right ♪ ♪ As long as we are still together ♪ - (breathes heavily) We made it. - Did anybody bring our film equipment. (breathes heavily) (scooters clanking) (scooter crashes) (sighs)
Info
Channel: JK! Studios
Views: 839,444
Rating: 4.9494905 out of 5
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Id: Iyjyyz0eM5s
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 12min 11sec (731 seconds)
Published: Thu May 23 2019
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