Craziest Out of Towners - Schitt’s Creek

on our way here we drove through a town not a word of a lie called ships down no it was called shitsville and from the looks of the town was living up to its name let's not go for the low-hanging fruit here dawn no these are funny jokes please continue don you see roland gets it [Music] who dede hey momo what the hell i'm sorry i know i should've called but um i just thought it'd be really fun to come see my older sister and her new digs you know a little visit oh um do you really have lice i'd hate to contract so duty you are uh looking well seaweed facials i get one every week enough about me i want to talk about you guys oh i want you to know that i really wanted to come and visit you when i heard about your life collapsing but i got this really big job promotion that week and things got you know kind of crazy plus we haven't really seen much of each other recently yes well we've had kind of a hectic year well thank goodness for the internet seemed to be the only thing letting me know you two were still alive telephone is also amazing you just push the buttons and say hi it's me your deadbeat sister well it's a treat seeing you two going at it again kids come in and say hi to your aunt dede better hurry before she disappears for another decade oh look at you guys you've grown why did i think that you were dead ah you're so sweet now how long has it been since we've seen each other i think you crashed one of my pool parties with some guy you were calling uncle julio i remember all right you guys treat yourself okay buy yourself something nice a hundred dollars oh my god oh my god i missed you i missed you so much i missed you so much oh my gosh look at they are sweet kids i don't know what you were so worried about moira what are you doing here are you staying here at the motel can i get you a room no oh no no i mean no i i booked myself into a junior suite at the comfort inn in elmdale thank you this is very darling it just doesn't have a gem and i'm kind of in the best shape of my life right now and i kind of want to keep it that way okay oh give me a break how did you find me well where else is there to go and johnny may have told me thank you johnny moyra why are you making this so difficult for me oh where do i start um you know i think it's best we don't go there no i'd like to go there please take me fifty thousand dollars does that sound familiar yes you gave that to me as a down payment you loaned it you gave it to me as a down payment for my buffalonian townhouse we handed you the money and you said thank you oh too late well moira considering you had over 500 million dollars in the bank i'm a little personally offended that i didn't get more go away dede no no not until i do what i came here to do someone hurt your feelings but i forgot don't you don't have feelings don't you dare yes yes i am paying you back it's not everything but it's a start so walk me through this she offered you a check and you turned it down she was insulting us moira the woman dates dive bar owners okay let her insult us well i don't know whether you've noticed but we could use the money you talk about bed bugs that check could pay for fumigation better yet we could move to a place that doesn't have bedbugs i don't want her money i want our money she owes us we loaned her 50 000. we gave her 50 000 and you spent more than that on wigs that year i don't see anyone else lining up to give us checks why are you taking her side i'm not taking her side but she's offering us a way out and you're letting your pride get in the way it's all i have left john literally swallow it moira i can't yes you can and then we can buy a case of champagne to wash it down with go ahead and order whatever you want this is on us oh they're letting you run up the long tab are they you see well i hear the pork is very good here the ribs the chops the roast nothing for me well isn't that funny because moira doesn't eat here either but i will be eating and i just don't know whether to have the ribs or the chops but i'm definitely ordering pork if you mention pork one more time moira um don't you have something you want to say to your sister no oh i'm pretty sure you do i'm pretty sure i don't thank you for trying johnny truly but like i'm just really uncomfortable right now with my older sister acting like a stubborn child okay why don't we all take a deep breath here and try and remember what's really important okay we are family and we have to hang on to that and you know as well as i do moira the times of crisis the one thing we need to hang on to is family we appreciate you coming to this town and offering whatever it is you're offering much appreciated because seriously i thought you were just coming here to gloat no no i came here in the spirit of giving and forgiving the the gloating thing was a bonus moira go on yes go on we need help please help us oh okay oh well whoa i'm gonna do this for you but mostly i'm doing it for me why because you can't and i can't okay how much we gonna make this out for oh sh i haven't the foggiest i couldn't i couldn't come up with a number i mean i uh whatever you think is fair well you guys gave me 50 grand right yes we gave you 50 000 when we had the money but i can't i can't ask you for 50 000 whatever you think is the equivalent amount okay i think i can do you a little better than that okay oh so unnecessary td but thank you well who's up for fork so this is it after all that and we paid for the dinner so we lost money on the whole deal i'll tell you she's gonna be embarrassed when this thing gets cached she will be embarrassed she missed a zero myra she missed a zero or two i you know what i'm gonna call her i'm calling her right now that what a cheap ass amount turn your light off john your sister is a cheap ass cheap ass hi rose party of two yeah we spoke on the phone this afternoon you're lucky we had that cancellation yes well lucky for someone we had a reservation which i of course made uh weeks ago you always could swing a good table at the last minute john okay it'll just be a few minutes thank you laura beth god what are you two doing harry we were dropping mckenzie off at college and decided we'd take the scenic route home you must they should you must join us join us for dinner that would be great we are just dying to find out what you've been up to we're dying to tell you [Music] so so there we are at izzy tennyson's country home oh tell me she doesn't still have that stuffed by son oh duchy have it she's moved it to the front hall what grier wanted to hang her coat on the horns and it gets better down here oh and now don't throw me under the bus it was borden who started it all borden simons it's like old home week anyway i look over and don and gordon are on their hands and knees crawling through the doggy door in the kitchen you should have been there i wish we could have been maybe next time well cheers to that cheers cheers hey uh johnny moira oh my god uh what are you guys doing here well we we just ran into each other it's their anniversary roland just let them do what they want it's your anniversary you should have told us we don't want to intrude no you're not intruding this is a surprise treat oh okay well then are we intruding because before you were saying that you didn't want to go out tonight so no no we we we uh you can certainly uh join us if you don't have your own table we do but that would be great okay great yes well then by all means yes let's uh let's let's sit at one table cozy hello hi evening you guys haven't ordered yet have you because i need to present this coupon to the waiter first don't know what that means it's so ironic so where are you living now mara tell us all about it oh we're in a rustic ranch-style bungalow that it's very nice very nice it's got plenty of parking and uh tv in every room oh how many bedrooms ten ten bedrooms yeah well we don't use all the bedrooms it must be a nightmare to clean um stevie does an adequate job stevie's one of your staff stevie's the only staff this olive tapenade is salty i know is it i i thought it was good but yeah it's salty hmm here's a funny story oh good on our way here we drove through a town not a word of a lie called shitstown no it was called shitsville and from the looks of the town was living up to its name let's not go for the low-hanging fruit here don no these are funny jokes please continue don you see roland gets it [Music] who do you have to kill around here to get another bottle of this undrinkable wine i think it's good i ordered the one with the highest alcohol content what do you do roland accepting in agriculture by the looks of it roland is actually the mayor of our town not chetsville i hope do you even call someone from shitsville hey okay you know what john john don't worry moira i won't say anything untoward we're just having fun john and i thought we were having fun bev but you know what we're not oh come on it's just a joke no don here's the joke the joke is i'm sitting here in a half-decent restaurant with my wife and our friends and all you two have done is complain about the food and pretend that you didn't leave us high and dry after we lost everything oh we're past all that now i'm not quite past it moira you wrote a soft on not a phone call not an email not a nickel rolling the jocelyn here could not have been more generous with what little they have they found us a place to live they've offered us their truck whenever we've needed it they've invited us to their parties they even offered to take us out to dinner tonight well just to be clear johnny we were always going to split the bill it's just with a coupon and that town you passed through it's not called shitsville it's called shit's creek and it's where we live [Music] okay so i was thinking as incentive for our singles we could do like a lonely heart special so 50 discount for those singles dining alone okay um but wouldn't it make more sense to offer a discount for people not dining alone but it's singles week that was the thing right um but if the point of singles week is to get matched up then why not offer a discount for singles who eat together okay i have a better idea a two-for-one discount for two singles eating together that's it that's the winner yay oh my god alexis oh my god claire oh my guys i know this girl babe hi oh my god what are you doing here okay so me albany jitney and canyon we just like needed to get away from the city for a bit and so vice put out this guide to the most random cities in north america and we were like let's hit him oh my god that sounds so random oh my god this is where you live isn't it ah i'm so sorry i didn't put that together it's like i completely forgot about you oh my god no babe please it's like it's so good to see you i know so like it was two weeks straight of work at the agency so we just got in the car and we drove you know how it gets wait now can i get you something stop oh my god i'm obsessed with your look you look just like a small town waitress me thanks actually you know what uh uh i would love like a hot water but if you could just let it sit so it cools i just need to know that it was once hot sorry i'm the worst thank you like nothing's really changed am i right yeah okay babe sit down tell me about you like what have you even been doing oh my god oh my god like so much okay love that girl tell me tell me everything um okay so i graduated high school uh got my certificate um i opened my own pr firm and i'm actually organizing this little event okay so we really have to get you out of here what you know what you need to join us tonight we're going to go to some random bar for some random drinks um 100 no but like actually come though okay i'm serious i could use a distraction albany literally makes me want to kill myself anyway i should go please tell me i'm going to see you tonight okay here is your not-so-hot water sweetie no i didn't order that see you tonight babe see you tonight see tonight albany i was sitting there [Music] claire oh my god lex you like stalking me or something um actually i uh oh my god i'm kidding but seriously like what are you doing here um i'm just like crashing here wow temporarily obviously uh um are you guys staying here oh my god nobody no no we have airstreams up the road but we saw this sign and we thought it was so random yeah oh my god i almost totally forgot i have a job for you are you serious yeah i just like i can't talk about it around albany because she needs to get fired first so basically the job is yours if you want it it's a junior pr position but you could totally climb the ladder look take your time just let me know by tomorrow by tomorrow yeah we're gonna get a super early start so make sure you find me before 2 pm oh wow okay it's like all happening so fast because i have to like pack and find a place to stay oh yeah don't even worry about that you can totally stay on my dad's place he hasn't lived there for like 15 years i think he started a new family or something oh so it would be you and my dad's ex-wife but don't worry about her she's two years younger than us and like super chill okay anyway i'm gonna call it on this insta stash but i'll let you know what bar we hit up tonight okay actually there's only one oh oh oh that's great because i feel like all i do every night is just argue with albany about where to go like the poor thing doesn't understand that like literally no one even wanted her here in the first place i can't wait to fire her i'm her best friend okay here's my card yes let me know about the job okay yes that sounds like chillin i will definitely uh let you know okay hey pack your bags [ __ ] you're getting out so like she's telling me that she's going to mexico and i'm like if you're not going to tulum then like where the hell are you even going you know what i'm saying so where is she going oh god cabo oh my god poor thing oh no right like what if you wanted to smoke a blunt with pit bull probably not um anyway can i talk to you for a second oh yeah sure what's up okay um so i've been thinking about it and as much as i appreciate the offer yeah um i think for the next little while i should just stay here i'm sorry reset what are we talking about um the job that you offered at your dad's friend's company the junior publicist oh i just don't think that i can leave here yet oh yeah sure yeah you do you babe i'm always here for you sorry i was like what are we even talking about so like albany just put down her dad's black card so shots on him it's the least that she can do because she didn't come through the party favors breaking news we still [ __ ] hate her anyway do you want a shot or not it's albany's birthday um i don't think that i can i have this other thing that i need to get to okay yeah cool hey we'll text me later all right we can totally ditch this thing and we don't have to tell albany if that's what's holding you back will do okay oh and lex it was so good to see you really it's been too long we can't let this happen again it won't why do you guys have drinks and i don't [Music]

Channel: Schitt's Creek

Views: 85,406

Keywords: Schitt's Creek, Schitts Creek, SchittsCreek, Pop Now, schitt’s creek clips, official schitt’s creek, schitt’s creek episodes, dan levy, Daniel levy, eugene levy, Catherine o’hara, annie murphy, comedy, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, schitts creek, schitt’s creek, schitts creek clips, official schitts creek, schitts creek episodes, daniel levy, catherine o’hara, Alexis, Alexis Rose, sarah levy, full episode, schitt's creek full episode, best of schitt's creek

Id: m0OGN68Zqkk

Length: 21min 43sec (1303 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 13 2022