"Cabaret" Timeline - Schitt's Creek

is [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] hi mrs rose hello patrick care to ensconce yourself i wish i could um david you told me you were just running across the street for a cup of coffee but then i got hungry i hadn't eaten since last night it's just that uh i have to get ready for my audition and somebody has to be at the store so you're being audited those bastards no uh uh audition i'm actually trying out for cabaret cabaret you're familiar with the show please don't start the year was 1979. i was about 17. she was not 17. post-testing at a charming gas station deli with a great director rocky nichols came in for a reuben that's a sandwich little did he know he would end up biting into something far more fancified a ripe young actress who he'd soon cast in the leading role yes in the production of cabaret yes ask me how many ovations i got on closing night six david you know the answer that's a lot of ovations three by demand and three on the house and who may i ask is bold enough to scale this cultural monolith uh jocelyn's actually directing for the community theater it's very ambitious of jocelyn yeah i just thought it could be a fun thing to do yes the exact sentiment expressed by the passengers as they stepped aboard the titan neck okay well that's really encouraging what they were having a rip-roaring bash before that bloody iceberg i'm just gonna get the bill yeah i'm gonna do two minutes okay [Music] jocelyn what the moira they really snuck up on me there those shoes do not make a sound lame wang what are you doing here alas i was sure there was a council-related symposium here this afternoon but it appears the room has been set up in an audition configuration i'm so glad i'm doing it right today is day one of the auditions for cabaret cabaret yeah i actually wanted to do cats but everybody said that it was too political so i'm not sure you're aware of this jocelyn but cabaret is the very show that launched my career right 1979 you had a reuben no but never mind i'm simply here to wish you the best of luck moira since you have this strong personal connection to cabaret do you think that you could help me no this is your bed bae jocelyn and an artistic cradle robber i am not okay it's just that i have this actual baby at home plus a whole lot of term papers to grade i wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes but if you would indulge me a promenade along memory lane i'd love to sit in on the auditions okay if that's as much as you're willing to contribute all righty it's settled then consider me a silent monarch on the wall we'll do now jocelyn is this really how you want to set up the chairs no oh god no wow bob who knew you were a man of so many talents well i don't need to see any more myra so anything you like to add to bob's audition i'm just marinating in memories okay well we start rehearsing so while i marinate it might be worth observing you're giving bob a slight redirection if that's all right oh i've cleared my afternoon for this okay uh well try it um angrier you know like well put your hands on your hips like this oh dear okay well it seems to me that it would be helpful to both of us if you would just join us here at the table well there's a note i'm capable of rebuffing you heard the director thank you do you want me to sing ave maria again if you must but i think what jocelyn is looking for here is a foreboding vibration of pre-war berlin easy on the accent roger that yeah please don't go are you serious okay i'm just gonna stop you there thank you um beth i was wondering if you could maybe deeper yes throw away the law and soften the edges yes i was gonna say speak louder but that also sounds important so why don't we yes tap her out you step in and lay the groundwork for patrick yes you want me to tap in and act with him may i copa jocelyn i sorely underestimated your instincts okay okay the thing you must understand about cliff hot turk is that he has been with many women but he's never derived true pleasure from it i think i can wrap my head around that okay when you're ready don't go what please don't go oh less desperation are you serious the hell with bobby maybe i like you here firm but not loud the truth is sally when you're out all night i can't sleep better better now seducer oh my our little bed suddenly seems so empty i've never felt this way about anyone you truly mean this bring it home more than i've ever meant anything at scene oh now that is a breakthrough patrick thank you or should i say thank you to our new m.c oh no no patrick was auditioning for the role of cliff yes he was but we all know you put your biggest talent front and center isn't that right jocelyn sure as long as i never have to act again okay no thank you we'll call your people that was a great day of auditions today moira agreed wow in a desert of mediocrity you managed to divine a quiet revelation in ronnie's fraulein schneider well i think you deserve most of the credit you know watching you work with the actors today i think it was pretty obvious that you should appraise my role of sally maybe but there's the age discrepancy bit of a challenge there although i did play lisa von trapp at 50. actually working with you made me realize that i may not have the skills to do this but you you were practically directing by yourself today charleston thank you but now i fear i've overstepped no no no please step all over me you should be the director it's clearly in your blood um humility forbids me from thinking i could become a quadruple threat that easily please myra you'd be doing me a favor i mean it's either that or you could call mr and mrs technos and let them know that their daughter been another student at school today i accept oh thank you moira i am happily stepping down in title only you will be there with me every step of the way jocelyn assistant directing assistant directing some would argue it's even more responsibility than directing what have i done no it's the last day of our auditions boya we might have to lower our standards if we're gonna find our lead lowering your standards is a slippery slope jocelyn next thing i know you'll be telling me we'll be staging this production at the school gymnasium very dapper mr rose like the maestro of a lebanese orchestra congratulations johnny i never thought i'd see this little motel recognized for anything besides the occasional cockroach i made myself laugh there well always nice to be nominated jocelyn but i'm not putting too much stock in regional hospitality awards the revisions for your acceptance speech are on the vanity day well thank you sweetheart so how's the uh casting hunt going oh disconsulate john we may be looking at putting an ad in broadwayworld.com perhaps there's a chorus girl on holiday looking for a leg up okay hi first of all i'd like to remind you that this is a live work space and second final do it do what dear i'll step in as the star of your musical no no with your responsibilities as our in-house publicist i couldn't ask you to do that now okay well you seem pretty desperate so i'm happy to help well moira i'd consider it i mean we did spend all that money flying in barbra streisand's vocal coach that summer alexis wanted to be the next jessica simpson one access a brief stint on a reality show that's one thing but acting that's um the producers of a little bit alexis insisted that i take acting classes after we started shooting so almost makes me want to try out for it myself okay now we're all just getting the sillies best we stick to our award-nominated day jobs well i'm sure that alexis has a song that she could sing for the audition audition okay do i have to remind you about the album that i released moira what's the worst that could happen besides the inevitable accusations of nepotism well for what it's worth alexis i always thought hampton's hose was quite catchy i'm pregnant that's it that's the end of my audition indeed it is i'm fine with nudity not necessary thank you she looks like she may have seen the inside of a smoky german bar too who knows a haircut some dance lessons moira i feel like we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here i think that we should bring alexis in jabberwocky there are still stones left unturned okay you're actively trying to prevent alexis from auditioning here and i don't want to get in the middle of some mother-daughter competition thing competition nothing of the sort no alexis just doesn't have the life experience really because according to her stories well she's had her fair share of adventures yes but the role of sally balls requires an actress who can mine a deeper darker cave a woman encumbered with secrets she will take with her to the tomb hence the high praise gina grisham and i received for the role you know what moira i'm gonna bring alexis in and don't worry i will handle the audition so it is less of a struggle for you fine you're on your own okay hi my name is alexis rose represented by alexis rose talent okay what are you gonna be singing for us today alexis i have chosen to perform the title track off of my critically reviewed limited reality series a little bit alexis oh feel free to sing along if you know the words okay [Music] are you ready let's do it i'm a lamborghini i'm a hollywood star i'm a little bit tipsy when i drive my car i'm expensive sushi i'm a cute huge yacht i'm a little bit single even when i'm not i'm a little bit i'm a little bit i'm a little bit i'm a little bit okay yeah um i still actually had a few more verses and in the last verse i really get to showcase my range no no you know what i think that just that 30 seconds is more than enough to go off of yeah are you saying i booked it great question jocelyn well we do have to see all the other candidates but we will definitely get back to you okay okay [Laughter] so what do we think well there's a place for her somewhere on stage no moira i saw your talent and i thought well the apple can't fall far from the tree different orchard jocelyn i do admire the confidence what are we gonna do now we we are at the precise intersection of which i tried to steer us clear no bab straws streisand's vocal coach quit the business after just two lessons with our sweet alexis he now lives in a monastery um hey hey you're home i was just gonna leave you that little note and a box of chocolates i got the parts of knife in come the yay no numb i now see that there are different ways to interpret chocolates alexis i just wanted to say am i hearing jocelyn yeah she's come to tell me the good news did she chocolates are we celebrating jocelyn the chocolates were a mistake alexis after very careful consideration i've decided that you are over qualified for the role i know but i'm totally fine with that and i really value you as our in-house publicist jocelyn no well we can see where this is going part of me thinks that maybe we should give the role to somebody who really needs it well alexis i wanted to fight for you but i had to recuse myself as your mummy okay um who did you pick we're still looking so you picked no one over me that would be a joslin question maybe there's a better role for you what's better than the lead yes i'm curious about that as well kit kat club dancer number six sorry she doesn't have a lot of lines but she has a very sexy costume and a lot of face time on stage which i know that you love both of those things okay um would that require like another audition no no no the part is yours jocelyn how wonderfully generous of us okay well i guess i'll have to put you in touch with my agent but i think you already have her number and we'll get going on negotiations i would have my agent accept that offer dear yes ah well hello you miss rosa what are you doing here i thought you and i might celebrate your big award come in oh thank you and i was made aware there was a loss as well yeah turns out someone who's been working the front desk of a motel her whole life isn't exactly a turn-on i was speaking of his loss stevie underneath the brambly tartan blossoms is a chrysalis just bursting with potential oh i'm glad somebody thinks so yes perhaps she just needs a bit of a shock to her daily routine kind of what i was going for miss rose the kind of shock i'm referring to stevie will not come in the form of a man what is this oh just a gift that once jolted me out of my little po dunk routine hey me in front of people i am not an actor neither is the lead in the play she simply a headstrong young woman who's been knocked about a few times and looking to make the most of herself mr rose put you up to this no this inspired piece of stunt casting was an idea all my own and we can't find anyone else thank you you're welcome i should have lived with this please tell me you can sing i sing in the car good enough okay peruse at your leisure oh i see you've opened a bottle of wine already uh i won't burn you with another bye this is so exciting i've never been in a musical before although i did have a cousin who is in river dance until she got trampled yeah um i was one of the original pussycat dolls but it only lasted like two weeks because apparently i'm too pretty this is going to be such a fun day what about you stevie i didn't even know that you wanted to be an actor i don't i'm a fine artist i've been dreading this rehearsal for the past two days okay as star of the show you might want to set like a different tone for everyone i think this is a huge mistake you're not wrong there has been a lot of confusion as to why i'm not the star of the show but fair is fair you earned it no it didn't i didn't audition i don't like attention i can't think of anything worse than standing on a stage in front of a room full of people okay stevie i think you just need to chill if this is anything like my first day with the pussycat dolls it'll be a couple of hours of kegels and then an afternoon of cheeky bellini's it's just a lot of pressure don't even worry about it i got your back today girl just like nicole scherzinger did for me will come and bienvenue welcome you to cabaret don't i'm sure this will come as a shock to all of you but this production will mark my directorial debut hmm [Applause] using q's already no i'm i'm simply here to inspire and instruct and bring out the very best in you and i want to start the day with my loot banarian kit-kat girls we've also included anyone who's requested extra rehearsal time to work on their dance moves i just want to limber up there's some uh pretty tricky footwork so first everyone please direct your gaze to the beating heart of our show our sally bowles miss stevie but you're wondering are we really going to lay this colossal enterprise upon her tiny shoulders yes i'm a hundred percent confident that you will all soon see what i hope i believe i may be seeing in you stevie thank you as long as you're up why don't we jump right in you can help me lead the first exercise uh i thought this was more of a meet-and-greet kind of thing it's the afternoon upon which your bodies will meet and greet the boards okay this is called want to drive my back once once i know we've moved on from the mirror exercise oh okay sorry go ahead once at the motel one word at a time okay once i'm sorry i'm not good at this i'm just not good at this so okay um maybe someone else should jump in at this point excellent idea alexis okay i'll play with stevie and perhaps we'll get a clearer idea of what we need here maybe you could do it with somebody else that let somebody else try first word is a kimmy so you may say once once upon uh nightmare my captor was dismembering okay does it always get so dark oh i'm just flowing with your energy stevie which is good but you may require a little score to tour why don't i break us up into groups that's a good idea cause it's better than what's happening glad you agree i'll i'll number us off uh one two one two two two two two jocelyn take group two for some movement exercises thank you and you and i'll do a little more one-on-one hey do you think we could maybe switch parts at this point um at this point i really wouldn't want to but if it makes you feel better i think lunch is soon um i'm just wondering when the bellinis are coming out stay strong babe alexis we don't need to exercise our movement come here let's be aware there are two groups in the room voices carry okay this is actually a good distraction for you because when you're on stage you're going to have to drown it all out okay so let's now focus on the image you are about to conjure for me okay i'm in the town hall i'm wearing my maroon plaid hoodie and i'm feeling very uncomfortable vivid visceral excellent stevie although the exercise does ask us to recall a traumatic event in our life this sounds almost as if you're describing what's happening right now oh i am oh there's that razor sharp wit that landed you the wrong ah moira group two's gotta take a fiver i have not had this much exercise since i birthed roland jr look at you jocelyn pushing your authority as assistant director to its limit but stevie and i are still doing some memory sculpting uh miss rose i think i could really use a five minute break oh steve okay but we've chatted 30 seconds already so we'll call it a company four and a half okay hey hey so before i take my five which technically won't start until after this conversation i just wanted to have a conversation with you it's about stevie or lexus i can't say i didn't see this coming this must be very difficult for you watching one of your contemporaries step in a sally when you fought so hard for the role my god no i read the script and never would have been able to memorize those lines you may ask where your concern lies then this is all a little intense especially for stevie if anything i'm going easy on her you should have seen the conditioning rocky put me through our first day consisted of mud runs and sob therapy okay well she's not you and i think she's actually regretting signing up for this and feels like it was a big mistake really what gave you that impression because she told me that she regrets signing up for this and feels like it was a big mistake a kind of attitude's not going to get her very far as an actress well she's clearly not an actress you told us this morning that you were here to inspire instruct and bring out the best in all of us if only we needed to fill the role of a dictaphone i'm just saying a new point is made thank you whatever's left of the five minutes might do us all some good thank you knock knock team um a firefighter with back pain no try again knock knock a vacuum salesman i don't know well i'm trying to communicate what's written on the paper is is there a bell i could ring you know i i don't i don't want to be rude but they they could be having dinner uh you know just keep knocking until someone guesses what or who you are help me out here knock knock yes let's you and i sit this one out shall we and things on a lighter note it is called a play not at work mrs rose i've been thinking oh that's your first mistake don't think stevie just trust your instincts okay well my instincts are telling me that i'm in over my head so you decipher it which instincts to trust that's the real skill you're feeling overwhelmed after some quiet reflection it occurred to me that this morning's exercises might have been a bit advanced please remember this is all new to me as well oh a guy that works with animals but not a vet like kind of like might i share with you an anecdote about my director a man with amnesia yes well he may have a story or two about that from his later years no sorry i mean the game he's a man with amnesia yes oh i'm so glad somebody figured it out oh i actually forgot what i was supposed to do up here oh you know that you have to come up and play the game now right i think i can handle that oh vampire person oh ghost ghost girl hemophiliac woman with amnesia oh [Laughter] you must be having a lovely morning hey now just getting started is it just getting started because it looks like the two of you have been engaged in general merriment for quite some time now did he just say merryman i think he did yes i said merriment cause that's what happens when i spend too much time with my mother and i blame you two for it so how was uh dinner last night oh long we spent two and a half hours going over a costume lineup for the show all so that the two of you could sneak off to some secret dance rehearsal behind her back like a pair of dirty con artists hey listen david your mom is a great director she's just not used to working with amateur dancers yeah last week she told me to dance like an indonesian scarf caught in the wind i don't even know what that looks like this money number is so complicated that if we don't get the outside help we will be laughed off stage you've seen me dance yes you have legs like tree trunks we knew that going into this thank you okay we just have one more private session with derek and then it's done one more session i thought last night was the last session well we couldn't nail the final lift what is this dirty dancing david please just keep her distracted for one more night no no it's too much okay then i guess we can just tell her we're getting outside help good luck when she was coaching me for the little mr pageant i made the mistake of going to mario lopez for advice he was hosting at the time anyway she found out felt so betrayed she forgot to double knot my tap shoes and cost me the crown so i will cover for you for one more night but that is it this better be worth it excuse me i have a job to do oh [Music] i'm glad i let you talk me into another dinner david that note you had about including my name on the poster as a sales tool that's something i've been debating for some time now well your name was already on all the mock-ups so it was really more of an observation that reminds me i must pop by the rehearsal space jocelyn said some color samples were dropped off today okay yeah i don't know if i don't know if i need to see color samples you just showed me all the mock-ups but the printers require my sign-off first thing david well it's it's late i mean it's it's 7 15. are you sure you should be walking over there alone at this hour okay david no more true crime tv before bed for you i refuse to buy you another nightlight well why don't i just pick them up for you then okay be careful when you haven't any cold any decrease in the winter and you're cursed [Music] [Music] hunger [Music] makes the world go round oh my god david what are you doing here i have questions mr rose this is derek he's been just helping us practice the stuff to the number and how long have you all been moonlighting it's about a week it's a really fun piece yes i'm aware thank you thanks derek so all this time i thought poor david thought that you were home resting your instruments hmm i'm so disappointed sorry david sorry david it's okay however in the business of show skullduggery when it leads to such thrilling results a pitch of world corruption is a small price toupee good yeah i think so you choreographed this uh i loosened the pickle jar derek merely popped the lid very impressed was not embarrassed at all i thought i would be so sweet have fun my darling have fun you've just started long enough beneath my wing now it's time to fly ladies and gentlemen i am your host [Music] is [Music] again [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] uh [Music] so [Music] maybe this time [Music] i'll be lucky [Music] maybe this time he'll stay this time [Music] for the first time [Music] love won't hurry away he will hold me fast i'll be home at last not a loser anymore like the last time in the time before [Music] everybody they love a winner so nobody loved me [Music] lady peaceful [Music] lady happy that's what i want to be [Music] something's bound to begin [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] maybe this time maybe [Music] that's my friend [Music]

Channel: Schitt's Creek

Views: 117,300

Keywords: Schitt's Creek, Schitts Creek, SchittsCreek, Pop TV, POpTV, PopNow, Pop Now, schitt’s creek clips, official schitt’s creek, schitt’s creek episodes, dan levy, Daniel levy, eugene levy, Catherine o’hara, annie murphy, schitts creek, schitt’s creek, schitts creek clips, official schitts creek, schitts creek episodes, daniel levy, catherine o’hara, Alexis, Alexis Rose, Noah Reid, Alexis’ Misadventures, Alexis’s Past, Stevie Budd, Emily Hampshire, shits creek, Cabaret

Id: FkAOY6aYDdk

Length: 37min 15sec (2235 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 06 2021

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