Crash Bandicoot (Complete Series)

only play with friends welcome to crash bandicoot crashy bandicoo we're playing the first game we played the third game wasn't very fun what the hell are you doing this is the first level you silly and sanity like the collection yeah there he is here he goes haha what a goofball okay there's his head there he goes oops off to a good start don't worry i know this game like the back of my finger look at this stupid crap i see him so ding dong yeah i heard the news getting married very cool who are you marrying ding dong fresh bandicoot that you're a lucky man who's your best man fresh bandicoot tell us all the rules concerning marriage you could only marry with gay is gay marriage is that is that a allowed and italy i don't know i would have no idea julian i'm not a gay curt i'm not a gay person you're not a gay cartoon that's why i thought you're gonna say gay cartoon be sure to get all the boxes now i'm not stupid are you insinuating to crash bandicoot as a homosexual probably oh chris tell me this did you ever have you ever had a hands-free come um no have you i don't think so have you ever had a mind come that's when you hold your head you go that's when i finger my temples and i spray wow wow let me try yo give me a minute i just started you don't don't let me do the first boring level and take it from me well you died though yeah but it wasn't my fault yes it was it was completely your fault no it's like most of the time i've noticed it's typically no you're just a [ __ ] [ __ ] are you doing the first level again or is it no the same looks the same there's the skunk that appears from nowhere this game is so nostalgic for me do you want that big coin i played this game before i even had a playstation's head now she gives you head no i don't exist anymore how are they gonna how are they gonna justify that in the new game uh they're gonna in the redo well i know they're gonna keep her but how are they gonna change the opening remember she punches the guy in the opening how are they gonna justify the fact that she's never in any game ever again uh they they naughty dog already has that in the the the bible for crash bandicoot oh that's right i forgot probably talked about that she's dating pinstripe what really yeah that's sad crash saves her and then she dates a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] you don't know maybe he's a really good guy no he's an [ __ ] how do you know he says over to tap he's probably fine he's okay you did it you got all three he's eating her lady woman objects oh my god do you get to play as her you get to shave her i heard it wasn't even obj what if it was dot objectified map okay i'm gonna do one more one more and it's your turn from this day now i like the island map screen why did it go bye-bye because they like it when you suck into a door i you know what i like too how it works too but three is weird to me that you have to hold the buttons down to get into the level oh yeah it is weird it takes a lot more time oh man i just tried uh crouch jumping and i forgot you can't do it in this one i guess it doesn't take a lot more time that's kind of weird why is he jumping so slowly what the [ __ ] because that's how it controls no yeah he's like slowing down that's how he controls i don't remember that he also didn't have uh his slide yet i love his slide in this crouch look look how epic this is the music's also very quiet in this game there isn't too much going on with it who's that monko they redid all the music for the japanese one is it any good well oh okay that was [ __ ] damn it usually you [ __ ] hop off of it you go i'm that stupid [ __ ] idiot there's the turtle the epic turtle i hate it when they do burps there oh my god who's this man is he gonna go yeah a woman they had the natives designed differently from the scientist mans yeah they stopped using them because the races i think the scientists are in this game but later probably yeah they're probably in the last level right they're near the end that's a tumble monkey it's not a tumble [ __ ] monkey it's racist you [ __ ] tumble monk wow why are you coming up with new racial slurs what is their name for the what is their name for the natives in this do they have a name the [ __ ] the sub humans you're [ __ ] sub what if that's what it said in the game's code uh that would law does naughty dog are all pc now we cannot have fat drake that's that's sad because that was a fun it was a fun little uh joke it's so upsetting to fat people who lol at it and they deep in his voice too really yeah didn't they slow his voice down for that code that's funny they should have just even it out and i had skinny boy drake yeah basic skeletal drake they did that with a tekken they had a morbidly obese character and then they made a skinny version of him really and he uh he trips over himself because he's not used to moving around without fat that's funny you need the yellow gems for that i don't have it here you play fine me and julian gonna talk about girls who is your favorite girl in the whole wide world her name is blello p hallelujah palette [Music] [Laughter] but i just found it this feels weird compared to two i know holy cow i like his face better in this one than too look at that wow okay that's gonna take some getting used oh i'm doing the boulder that's how you know it's time to go into the tiki room i really want to go and get some dole whip it's very difficult remember when the the girl pretended to cry because she great she she's getting ice cream but she she wanted a cookie well what i guess it touched me you got hit by a pizza boulder i think we discussed that little girl already did we well little girl uh there was one that was screaming and crying pretending to cry when we were at disneyland did you hit her uh yeah we threw her out were you pulling on her hair when you were on splash mountain yeah the fake snow killed her shade at all daddy i don't feel good he says that's okay this is why i brought you here let's put you down no don't eat it nobody nobody will suspect me what oh my god you didn't even touch me [Music] you've only got 14 crash faces this game is weird feeling weird feeling i have a weird feeling about that you should play the uncharted 4 version yeah what is that like because they coded even they heard it from scratch it feels different it feels feels more off than this yep this is weird music is very understated yeah i like it though i prefer understated music than like [ __ ] well i like two centuries a lot though two yeah two sounds great two nailed it and then three kind of toned it back more that was the ghost voice three also repeated its theme song everywhere which i don't like because it uh makes it really grating it's true i hated that with the smash brothers brawl i i hate the idea of doing that because it just you start getting sick of it yeah i want to hear it everywhere i'm really in the mood for some tumbi you can play that next yeah because i like that game's music that game has really good music that game is just really good overall yeah i never beat it though it's really easy to beat because the boss fights uh aren't really boss fights you just grab and throw them into a bag and that's it they all work i didn't even slow down at any point whoa you were at the end too whoa i don't know why it hit me as a thing julian who who am i yeah you're chris o'neill you're right julie who am i that's you my mother i love you that's the that's the noise she she makes when she comes out of my bathroom mirror at night do you have to say your mom's name three times to call her yeah watch as it hits me even though i've been really stalled out [Music] oh i'm nervous yeah this makes me nervous oh my god ah oh i thought it was going to kill you anyway good boy at least i still like how the water looks in this level you know you don't get bumped up in the sequels when you're uh when you're hit and you have the mask right um no i think in this one you don't get bumped up i got bumped up oh okay the fish hit me and i got launched upwards a little bit for doing that see that's why it confused me when the spike didn't do that the spike is because you were invincible though and it was i that was weird that it just stopped you dead in your tracks so you fell yeah it seems like it just acts weird in this one just a little a little freaky well i don't think what the [ __ ] didn't even hit you the the fish because the camera angle's so weird what i didn't see there was one of these but it went off screen because the cameras angled weird and then because i had the mask it launched me upwards even higher so i missed the jump it's weird don't worry it'll be okay what what did those fishes like just catch you off guard yeah i guess it hit me i didn't even see it yeah they kind of come out of nowhere this game is awful it's not awful julian why are we playing this we could have been playing kingdom hearts see there he is that's what killed you that's cause crash was standing like this so he was blocking him music is like [ __ ] calming yeah it's nice this is not a cartoon wacky music this is just like regular nice music well this with this environment and everything it goes pretty well i like it it's i'm just very crash but my turn i'm just very unused to it as well wait does krish i expect crash bandicoot oh he just jesus you feel so weird in this one here you do it i just expect crash bandicoot to have really like loud and obnoxious music obnoxious in a good way i like it julian i i wouldn't even describe whose music is obnoxious no it's not i'm just saying that um i would no that's what that's what julian said yeah dudes no twos is good i would say two's is perfect but uh crash team racing's music started kind of getting there it was more overstated than understated still good it's weird playing two and then going back to this yeah because uh i know she was too is super responsible oh you're right there is a fish there yeah we finally made it and then that acts as a slope which is kind of weird i think the later games do anything like that with slopes oh i got her they get to go [ __ ] her bro i like this music it's really dopey this is a pretty bonus level too this is a stupid bonus level yeah these are all very easy i imagine they get harder though oh they do i'm pretty sure later like the [ __ ] cortex bonus levels are really [ __ ] hard and if you want all the gems you gotta do one guess what i'm not gonna do why do they have passwords did they not were they not able to like save to a memory this you can with this game i think it's for people who didn't have one yes i remember one of my favorite things was they did a king of fighters for ps2 it's a really bad game but uh they had a mode where you could look at the characters and if you left it running for like eight hours and came back to it because of how the character the character's hair physics were the hair would just start clipping through their model coming out the back of their head and it was like permanent if you started playing the game after that happened it would just be happening in game really and it would mess up the models too sometimes like little details on them would disappear like when the characters are supposed to be wearing a hat and his hat just disappeared because of that what a shitty boss fight this is yep it's the first one give him a break he's been sitting on his chair all day [Music] i like that sound me too that man's not gonna be a name over these games he's incredibly racing actually he's stupid no he's epic that's like something that really holds up here too they they took advantage of the fact that the low poly yeah there's a lot of weight to the animations yeah they they i i love that about it so it was the same problem as uh wrath of cortex when like a box breaks open it just looks super weak and shitty yeah oh oh my god i could never do that oh so much for that doesn't matter i thought those pillars broke no it's if they're floating yeah why are these turtles trying to kill you they're not they're just poisonous poisonous turtles yeah you lick them no you don't lick them they're poison that you get to hallucinate about turtles you know what i never actually got good at is um analog control it i mean it's not suited for these games anyways no but like in any game like you know when driving games analog is good for like steering slowly or whatever i still just like tap it like just really fast and if i want to steer slowly i was playing overwatch and he was pointing out like oh you're you can just hold click down to do what the fire because i i keep in my head how many shots i'm taking because i want to not waste all my ammo if i'm going to be like cornered or something i want to have as much as possible i uh i manually click but uh that's the thing like a lot of people pointed out to me like oh you could just hold it and it's like i i could but i want to keep track of how many bullets i'm firing i don't i don't want to just that's the thing that matters in overwatch and overwatch it does with some characters specifically because i was using zenyatta he has only you're supposed to be shooting with him frequently but if you run out he has a really long reload time so you don't want to be wasteful i missed the box i missed one i'm stupid great but you missed one box stupid [ __ ] oh no i'm tired i'm glad that's over i like in the in the in the new ones like they pummel him into the ground that's kind of nice yeah that's fine wow i get it julian [Music] excuse me because he made the face yeah he's going to do [ __ ] oh he's he's haha what if i have sex he smiles and he goes problem you mad you mad pig hog wild why so serious missed the box voice so serious i remember going to comic-con and look at there were a those guys look really really goofy oh my god there's a part at the end of this where i almost always die why do they have spike poles in the middle of their village this has been this must have been like so [ __ ] amazing to look at at the time yeah i forget was this before this was before uh super mario 64. yeah no same time right it was around the same time i love his little faces i know jumping flesh though came out prior to mario 64. so technically it beat it to the punches being a one of the first 3d platformers on uh one of these consoles jumping flash is for [ __ ] [ __ ] you know people sure were saying it was a bad game really were they i thought it was fun yeah it's a fun game people were tweeting at me about [ __ ] not liking jet set whatever you call it yeah i mean unfortunately i didn't not like it i just it's not my kind of game even then you're allowed on you're allowed to not like it i didn't think it was bad i just don't like that kind of game the only thing that was weird to me is that people were saying like oh visually it's really boring and that was like what because i i didn't even say that i said i didn't like that exactly i if people think it's boring to play okay fine but visually that's that's a weird one to hear visually they think it's really boring because i forgot how good they were about color choices in it yeah they're pretty good about it in this too they uh this is a very good game they made things pop yeah like look at the shadows on those logs they're not just dark brown they're like t they said that was also a focus with their level designs is that they want to make it clear where you're able to move and uh to have obstacles pop out i hate these [ __ ] natives i thought you were gonna say chris you can't say that can't say natives wait do you slide down the slopes in this uh the green ones with the grass yeah it's moss it's weird because they took that thank you for correcting me chris oh it's moss [ __ ] moss look at it i thought you meant thank me for correcting my jump because i was about to [ __ ] die here's the ground pound why do these people hate you because i'm stupid because i'm wearing their pants no look out that was close i did it good job chris hey thank you you are a super player i killed a monkey a monk homunculus look at that sky [Laughter] bonus round it's incredibly painful for him he's wearing he's wearing his glasses oh does it just send you back yeah chris hello would you be upset if uh you started dating a girl and then suddenly as you were like out shopping and going to get food and stuff you just started seeing her face like floating in places what if i collected it yeah you could pick it up and then they get warped through her basement you get she still got warped too she's standing there motionless you still you still get warped to the top of a tree look look at that falling animation i love it oh he's really scared [Music] [ __ ] that i don't want that look at this stupid [ __ ] level that i just found oh my god oh my god chris yeah that's like a donkey kong country secret i know the secrets how'd you figure that out they don't have anything like this i still love this game why'd you stop i was held down and [ __ ] by who anyone oops wow he turned into a funny black bandicoot i like that you can see the castle in the background it's not a castle it's right there that's dr nero cortex castellaneta jim coming all over me i love it when he does that's why they always get him i'm scared oh what was that [ __ ] stupid corpse [ __ ] bandicoot let's have a game for the comment section look up everything jim cummings has ever lent his voice to and uh count them up who's he again uh you know he's winnie pooh oh he was uh pete the dragon it wasn't pete the dragon he was uh pete piglet pete uh it's uh bub no not pubs it's bubsy 3d what's the other one he's saying the extreme ghostbusters theme song who is the cartoon who's the cartoon bobcat he's saying this theme song he's saying it's true he did he's saying the crash bandicoot song did he really yeah that was him that's the voice of winnie the pooh yeah what sounds nothing like him what's the other what's the [ __ ] uh i want to say bubsy it's not bubsy he was in hercules uh it was the disney show that they were doing for to follow up roger rabbit bonkers bonkers uh he did like half the characters on tail spin um oh he's darkwing duck too isn't he he was he was wasn't he nagaduck too yeah he uh i didn't know he's darkwing duck was he i'm pretty sure he is you know what yes he is i'm an idiot no i'm thinking about yes he is uh and uh oops tommy pickles was the the daughter i'll [ __ ] crash you stupid [ __ ] bandicoot now you gotta do all this again stupid [ __ ] dilbert or it was trucky i don't remember i think it was chucky i think it was chucky tommy was uh tommy the girl in the pee-wee's big adventures tommy oh yeah because when she starts laughing it's just tommy laughing i love that movie he was gonna [ __ ] tommy he he asks about the basement the alamo and everyone laughs at him and takes his picture that was really funny god damn that was funny i'm very pleased to have come back to that movie and find that it was funny as a kid i didn't think it was funny no it's a really fun movie i didn't like one of my favorites i like it a lot adults like it more than kids yeah probably kids don't want to watch half of it because they they get freaked out by everything like large marge and the the clowns scary clowns i don't like talking about clowns what about clones clones of clowns the scariest of clowns we're gonna do a sequel to clone high called clown high oh i would love that i'd be so happy i think i've got the itchiest nose on the planet just always [ __ ] itchy it's because you go to get into a fight what are you talking about that's what everyone always says no i thought it was funny i liked that people always say that wait let crash go down the slide no why he's too far away fine i'll do it no you get look what you did ding dong i didn't do that where is it oh jesus killed by that was the secret monkey the secret monkey the secret secret my guess is [ __ ] moving don't make fun of me there it is there it is let her rip go to town crash [Laughter] that's good what was that that was good oh this game is for [ __ ] melvins scoops for better what if you met somebody named melvin chris would you call them a melvin we call them a crash cool bert cool what happened his rolling makes you spin like that does it yeah why i just i don't know it is a funny monkey spin attack what if this game had ragdoll physics and you could make crash trip and fall whenever you wanted that'll be funny that would be worth the purchase for the new game i always wanted a first person shooter where you could get banana peels and make people rag doll look here's a [ __ ] monkey this is [ __ ] banana peels and space station 13 are the best tell us about your recent escapades on your your very own server chris oh yeah everybody i blew someone up don't make fun i'm not making fun i'm like funny your friend you're the one who [ __ ] introduced me to the game solely to grief people listen it's a lot of fun [ __ ] especially if you get like 10 people and you just all smash somebody with a fire extinguisher there there's no art behind it it's just funny you get a lot of [ __ ] on it i can't believe a lot of the servers just removed [ __ ] because that was that was the funny thing i know swain's gonna bring that back when he can people just don't want it to be fun yeah pretty much i mean that was why they're getting mad about your server too because oh i want i wanna role play very seriously and they're they're doing fun silly things no they're lying so people will come people come into grief and then if you grief them back they get really angry they're like you're supposed to be more professional you're the admin it's like you're griefing who [ __ ] cares go play in someone else's server if that's how you feel they come in and they murder bone and they kill everybody and then i pick them up and they throw them at it also if you're gonna act more professional what that means in regards to other servers is oh i'm gonna ban you over any little things yeah [ __ ] that exactly i just want to complain it wasn't like that when it first started admins were not like that on any server you could just do we don't ban people unless they're constantly like [ __ ] around and i mean that was ruining that thing with the game way back was that it was just left to what it was people could do whatever the [ __ ] they wanted we wanted our server to be more like chilled out because every other server bans you for the littlest thing people get mad either way but yeah if you guys want to play space station 13 visit go www dot go on playstation.com go on space station 13 and go to pulp station go to google and type in space channel 5. no go to full station and learn the game and join our server and we'll have a fun whole time no you won't yeah we will yeah but if you grief don't expect to be oh this looks bad i don't like this remember me my name is marge the tv mom whose hair is large i may be [ __ ] up quite a bit here what's funnier cucamonga or walla walla washington what the [ __ ] you talking about pokemon go god damn it stupid [ __ ] fish stupid snapping [ __ ] [ __ ] you luigi [ __ ] you [Laughter] chris did you ever do you ever have a poo that ripped you open i've had quite a few of those when i was like 13 through 18 i used to have the biggest [ __ ] goddamn poopies oh i'm sorry erect my bum hole wow look at how they're distorting the ground to make it look like it's rippling is that how they're doing it yeah this is a good idea oh they're just manually wobbling it there's uh there's more to this fight than there was in the second game yeah you just had to be in the right spot you have to see you hear your employing strategy i like the tiny the tiny fight zone too tiny fight tiny tiger tiny toy good i think i think it's a better fight than his fight in the third game why is he the only one themed after time travel as a boss ooh yeah he's dressed he's dressed up as a gladiator no one else is themed in any way and trophy that's him that's just how he is no you go from time period to time period oh yeah he was wearing knight's armor no the backdrop oh this level's cool i love this level i'm seeing him as a character like taini's the only one oh worrying something because dingo dial is just dingodile yeah he's not anywhere he's he's in the polar ice caps or some [ __ ] yeah what does that have to do i think it's supposed to be the ice age is that what it is it doesn't come off that way no it doesn't come off that way like how the motorcycle doesn't come off because they don't have like mammoth tests coming out of the ice the platforming stages are just really really plain in it stupid bat they're not very challenging uh the time trials are at least fun like i like the idea of that but there's no point of doing them until you get the the dash move not dash running oh no god dang it that's a big hitbox i have if i could crouch it would have helped what if brad bird had a bird in his pocket he called a brat what if everyone decided to hate brad bird over tomorrowland even though it wasn't that bad of a movie anyone never saw it i don't well i don't know i i don't i feel like there's got to be something to the fact that everybody hates it but i really don't know why i don't think it's like amazing or anything but i thought it was what the [ __ ] was that i thought it was an okay movie i don't know why uh is it cuz it's under disney is that all it is i really don't know when something bombs people just put the stigma on it i mean i i hear people complain a lot more about brad bird after that movie like there's a there's a negative mindset around him appreciate it i'm i don't get it either what is what is this guy he's a funny lizard he's hard he jumps and he grumps watch as i die these levels are tough watch as i [ __ ] die look at this [ __ ] [ __ ] do people know rob's rob for anything else god dang it you're stuck weren't you yep oh oh wow you made it good job did not expect that i'm still going to die though look at the wacky mine cart look this is [ __ ] [ __ ] and i can't even see what i'm going to do yet life is unfair no life is on [ __ ] fair oh god dang it you were almost there look look julian this game's hard do you get to keep the lives you got yeah what do you think of frankie muniz he had two strokes did he yeah what leave him alone wasn't his fault are you [ __ ] with me i'm serious no he did when i don't know when i saw the tweets last week yeah he had too many strokes what the [ __ ] he's from stress i oh i have no idea he's losing his hair and everything too no he's like he's falling apart and does he a nascar racer now he was i don't know if he still is poor guy he traveled so fast that his uh his body was aging rapidly [Laughter] weird that sucks it does it feel bad for him yeah reality is [ __ ] me reality bites my favorite oh [ __ ] god forgot that uh you have to kill both of them why does he get sent to the another realm like yeah it is cool that they have the castle in the background all the time he's getting closer he's [ __ ] [ __ ] he's not even hanging off anything that's [ __ ] [ __ ] oh this [ __ ] sim [ __ ] what do you guys like talking about so much he's funny he wrestles with pillows because he can't actually beat up people he looks like a little dinosaur oh my god [Laughter] poor kid [ __ ] you know what it's it's really fun when you have something that you can't [ __ ] predict at all you're just upset because you're not good is this just luck what a what the [ __ ] i don't get it what a what a messy pattern this has look at this [ __ ] is there even a [ __ ] pattern here i don't get it did it go go over there there's a secret no no no julian what's a movie you like that people [ __ ] hate um we were talking about charlie and chocolate factory um people don't like that did you like mrs pringlebee's oh i like to find spicy chocolate i don't think it was it wasn't like a work of art or anything i don't think clearly he just he just did it because he likes the stuff that was in it i'm always really bad at naming things that i like because i can never remember it off the top of my head um remember me julian i remember you chris people say uh jackie brown is one of tarantino's worst but i still think it's an okay movie same with the same with death uh people say death proof is bad oh spy kids everybody hates spike and dogs my kids i like spiders i don't think it's again i don't think it's good but there's too much stuff that i enjoy in that like shark boy and lava girl i like the music in this level oh no i think that anything that i like that other people don't like like every every everything like if i said nightmare before christmas that's legitimately like i think movie people like that though yeah everyone likes yeah that's what i'm saying is i can't think of anything that i think is good that other people don't like i'm i have the i have the maturity to be able to be like hey not everything i listen to objective quality hey listen to you it's a true it's most people it's true most people when they like something they want to they want to be able to say it's perfect do you like speed race for the movie yeah you know what i've never seen it i've noticed that a lot is that because we we've done that a lot we played games that we we have a lot of fun with and then people like they made a joke about it why they [ __ ] hate everything it's like no [ __ ] i thought it was bouncy you can make jokes about stuff you like and you can even dislike parts you can point out in fact that means that you actually are like taking it in fully because you're recognizing if there's something that's not exactly perfect about it you're just being honest with yourself at that point yeah just because you like something doesn't mean that it's flawless you should be able to recognize everything about it openly oh my [ __ ] oh boy so speaking of flawed uh was that just me could you see the death percentage it seemed weird it kind of looked like you were i wouldn't have chanced it but i can see why you thought they were it seems like they they didn't really figure out camera angles with this one yet they're just not clever cameras well i mean like look at this this is hard to gauge yeah this has been side scrolling it's because those platforms that platform ahead looks a lot farther away it also changes rotation as you're jumping across that's a pit isn't it yes i think so yeah wow see there was that oh oh i checked that point all right oh my jesus [ __ ] christ oh look at this i forgot this one yeah this is a really cool one i forgot about this one oh my jesus it just it looks so cool i couldn't handle this oh wow oh you actually did it i never do i don't know that this one's gonna end up looking is that is that uh richard horvitz laughing oh come on he can't kill that [ __ ] [ __ ] he's running across the hover bridge yeah he's doing that oh [Music] [ __ ] chris tell everybody your idea for kingdom hills that was uh what was it this game that you wanted to make was kingdom hex kingdom hey god dang it i just wanted to make kingdom hearts where everyone's hank yeah oh corey god dang it dude scary okay okay donald oh he'd be in heaven who bobby hill well he would if he was sora he'd be in [ __ ] house oh that that's cheating jumping off the scene i didn't know i could do that can you just walk across the side probably not oh my god um no kind of i think if you line yourself up perfect you might be able to no no it's at certain points i think it just lines up with the planks is the thing um you think so that's what it seems to be how strange we watched uh two stupid dogs almost a [ __ ] god it was actually a lot better than we both expected really we both remembered it being really shitty me too the funny thing is everybody holds up everybody holds up animaniacs is like the pinnacle of sneaking into adult humor yeah and the [ __ ] the stuff in two stupid dogs was incredibly like really uh there there was no subtlety blatant like there's they have a they have a parody of uh the brady bunch and the brother and sister just start making it yeah because they say kiss and make up and so they just start making out passionately oh my god uh and there was she wounds very loudly there was one where they said why does anybody even go to the to the drive-in and then it just shows all the cars bouncing and then they they blow the one car up and then everyone just starts [ __ ] again anyway yeah i gotta see it i remember i used to love the cartoon as a kid you were saying it though like the actual characters aren't funny no the the characters themselves are not funny it's the it's whatever [ __ ] happens in the in the world that ends up being a joke which is unfortunate that you you should have interesting main characters why did why was there just a bridge suspended in the clouds connecting to nothing it's a video game you [ __ ] dilbert you're gonna [ __ ] break apart resident evil 7. my name is julian look at me i don't like very long times don't like mario games i love mario what the [ __ ] was that oh also remember enough uh you mean of that i thought you meant is there something wrong with the speed on this [ __ ] [ __ ] oh no i that's what i was talking about is that it hits you even if it doesn't look like it hits you the way that this one's working because remember how in two it kind of not exactly rubber banding but it would give you opportunities to get back ahead if you made a mistake no but i didn't [ __ ] up once there i know i didn't either when i was playing it at the one point and it still hit me at the end it's so precise that i think even if you move diagonally it can screw you up [ __ ] [ __ ] it's uh because the creators were boasting about how much they they really enjoyed how difficult and challenging they made it except i mean i like difficulty and challenge but it's not worth it it's set up in a i i notice this in some games too where it's like okay it's difficult and from like by the way you're gonna get hit no matter what no i might still make it i don't think so with how this thing works oh i'm surprised you do but uh there's ways that sometimes they'll lay out stages where it's like okay this is definitely like a programmer set this up because they were sitting down with it and just kind of messing around yeah and not uh thinking of how it'd be conveyed to actual players like having really strict specific jumps that don't make a clear path you'll see that sometimes in games there's like pixel perfect jumps and everything it's because like oh the developers weren't really thinking they just kind of slapped it together because they they're so used to the game engine they're so familiar with it that to them it's probably not that unusual to play something like that yeah but to everyone else it's just really awkward to stumble into a spot like that you did it chris i'm a good boy my name is chris o'neill when i beat crash bandicoot level oh but you missed every box no oh i'll make it stop my name julian and i'm here to say i'm gonna take your bones away this is where i said overdrive this is one of my least favorite levels what uh what else did we watch uh when we were going through this let's talk about let's talk about show girls let's talk about show girls you can talk about shows i feel like we did already though no does he look like he's running slower to you uh not really okay his animations a little different than i'm used to it's different from two i'm going crazy but uh let's talk about show girls we all watch show girls chris what did you think of show do you admire nomie malone no she's a horrible woman that [ __ ] everybody why do you think she is the way she is because she's a [ __ ] why do you think the the lady that she met after hitting her car and throwing up on her car became best friends with her because she's [ __ ] mentally unstable as well is she they don't really characterize her in like any way at all she's the nicest character probably because they don't do anything with it no but she's unrealistically nice what a [ __ ] stupid movie oh you did it chris you saved yourself i'll save christmas chris would you save christmas no she says i am not a [ __ ] i just [ __ ] people to get things that's pretty much it and she he says must be weird not having anybody come on you do you like having big tits she is so [ __ ] hot though she's like the hottest yeah you were saying that through the whole movie she's insanely hot what is that okay describe the qualities that make a woman attractive to you chris i've always been curious uh the ability to throw up at will uh being unstable no like her character is disgusting but no i'm legitimately curious i'm not making fun of you i'm just stereotypical what do you what do you want from me she has a snow she has a slack draw i like titties i like ass oh like beautiful faces the boob on this lady i like nice skin what did you think of the funny fat lady who would uh she was to do her tits what was that [ __ ] director thinking he's usually so good i mean that killed his career essentially did he do anything since i think he did but like that was that was a big thing that [ __ ] him over it [ __ ] over almost everyone involved with it god these bats are annoying the [ __ ] out of me they're synced up what are you supposed to do and then the black guy keeps chasing her throughout the entire movie and then then she gets mad at him because she turns she turns him down and then she gets mad that he finds another girlfriend okay god that was not good he says everybody got aids and [ __ ] do you like that line chris that was a good one just a quick disclaimer i also like other qualities in girls not just their looks like when they're on their period and they're ones for me like when they'll display vagina and when they keep their [ __ ] mouth shut and when they die when told to when told have you ever told the girl to die chris almost there oh no jerry no but julian i thought you were asking me what what lookings i like oh either way [ __ ] did you know if you on this level if you die 20 times and then go back to the map screen and pl press up up down down you get to play as know me maloney and say hail mary full of grace the lord is with me no me malone is full of baloney no me baloney i like rhyming because she's a phony baloney that was not her real name pepperoni bologna we oh we watched ah and then and then the the guy who picks her up at the beginning happens back at the end this is and he says what did you what did you win and she says really that she holds a knife up to him again yeah there there's there's no character growth there's no change nothing happens there's no point to anything she had a lot of money ah oh my god i'm [ __ ] sick of this [ __ ] [ __ ] me oh that was very erratic chris coming oh [ __ ] me what else happened in showgirls uh she showed me she she she doesn't want to put the ice cubes on her on her kneeplay that would be embarrassing she gets really she gets really mad she knocks him out of his hand what a stupid thing to get mad at it's just even cameron diaz [ __ ] sprayed her nipples to get all erect in that video she uh she's okay no chris i'm too scared she's okay with having strangers come all over her but that's right why don't you pass it over chris you want to play no but he can play i'm not the one who's good at video games here my name is julie and i'm not very good at video games but look at my mustache i'm just here to look pretty oh my god the jump controls on this are really really awkward compared to two i'm going to [ __ ] two you could like steer your jumps a little more than this yeah this is clumsy it's a real doozy hush crash bandicoot how hard do you think that extra level they took out oh no it's it's this kind of [ __ ] the whole way through always what oh okay the same thing that happened to chris let me try again i'm at least used to it jesus it's [ __ ] crazy it's just really tight what's with the hitboxes in this game i know that's true oh there you go it's it's awkward too because you clipped like the middle of it so it just boosts you on top of it immediately yeah good job chris thanks baby don't die oh what if i wanna i mean if you wanna okay [Laughter] what's happening right here oh oh my god that's what is you know yes this game is harder than two oh [ __ ] not for the right what is happening is that i thought that was a glitch or something no no i think they just expect you to hey you know the difficulty here is patience are are you patient enough to wait for them okay thank you game that's really funny that's really funny hey chris yeah you had an anime phase when you were like little right were you one of those kids i had manga dvds i had akira and urtsukidoji did you like well i guess that did you have angel cop no oh why do you like angel cops so much because uh manga entertainment did really bad dubs early on and they're all really really funny and that's one of them they also had to change it for america because originally the villain in angel cop was supposed to be the they changed it to americans really yes because it was supposed to be like a big uh conspiracy like with corporations taking over and it was supposed to be the japanese one which um yeah it's probably not a good idea to make it wow this game is pissing me off this game this game's full of [ __ ] literally the cringiest i've ever seen my name is crash bandicoot and i like my mask i am a bandicoot with a mask how did he get it i found it [Music] [Laughter] oh my god we tried to watch muchaloocha oh i hate that that was when we quit it was bad same songs okay it's okay you like the theme song i don't think it's bad what it is i don't think it's bad it's a little cringy for me really why i think just because i don't like that style of music in general but julian it's your people it's your disgusting fellow is that why you don't like it because you don't like mexicans even i didn't say i didn't like it i julian listen i said i like clean i said i like the character designs and i like the character okay i like the character designs that's about it julian come clean though you don't like mexicans julian you're going to hell the last and first time i went to mexico the last the first time i went to mexico i was eight years old so i don't remember anything about it um but i am not i'm not into mexican culture of los angeles that's not a thing i enjoy don't you like i like i i like on the salad i think it's really good i don't like i don't go to a party 15 million people i said this in general because i know you'll you'll groan out like mexican families like that i only get frustrated in general when people are they have really spoiled children and they just kind of enable it because we went to uh well it's a thing in mexico like they have the quinceaneras and everything all about that's true pampering your girl it's pretty much just like that breaking bad dude with the two kids we we went to a diner and uh there's a whole family behind us and they had like a little five-year-old and he was shrieking at the top of his lungs because he uh he wanted the ipad to make loud noises on it and if it was not in his hands for even a second he would start shrieking and it was running around the restaurant and they weren't even like trying to stop and they're just like okay okay here boys will be boys oh no holy [ __ ] that was tight dude holy [ __ ] you guys are being racist towards mexicans i don't i don't want you on this channel there's a lot of kids mexicans i just didn't grow up i didn't i didn't say either of those families were mexican you know what i'm not i'm i'm not eating this the little girl wasn't oh not at disneyland now i'm deleting the channel it's a thing i hate in general i hate really nasty kids like them parents who just don't don't even bother to the more time it's bad the more time goes on the more it's going to happen that's true yeah millennial kids are the [ __ ] worst chris we know because you're them yeah chris you are a millennial i'm not a true millennial yes you are a christian oh it's candy kong you fall you fall look millennials are people born in the 2000s right no it's like 90s yeah listen i was born in 1990 i was like and guess what when people say millennials they mean people who were born around the 2000 no chris what i wanted to believe that but no it applies in 90s i think nah no shall i pull it up dude my look when you think of him do you think of a [ __ ] nineties kid no you think about it yes no you don't i think about the people who are who are like oh i shouldn't have to get a job uh i don't the establishment it's because it's because i was born in ireland but [ __ ] it's because you also don't you don't want to be lumped in with that i wouldn't want to yeah exactly but that's not what it was like in ireland it is now i like when uh time magazine did uh millennials the me me me generation and everyone on tumblr made big angry post butts like [ __ ] you no no it's wrong it's true it's like okay well case in point good job guys god what a stupid [ __ ] enemy i'm fighting right now yeah they never brought him back i brought him back for a crash bash oh wow by the way he's he's plenty ugly in a insanity trilogy yeah to be fair he's not very good looking here though this musical look at that [ __ ] mug in the corner yeah it's terrible come on music though it doesn't seem very fitting for this fight [ __ ] you you got one shot at this chris he's gonna throw his big boulder millennials also known as generation y are the demographic cohort following generation acts there are no precise dates for when this starts or ends but researchers typically use the early 1980s as starting birth years and the mid 1990s to early 2000s as ending birth years you're a millennial chris doesn't make any sense why is it called millennial then because it's close to the millennium yeah i guess so which is stupid but yeah you would assume it's people who were born in 2000 it seemed to make more sense to me i know plenty of people though who are even like 30 though and act really that's shitty that's true i'm telling you it's it's just it's american the thing the fallacy is coming from the place where you're like oh all of them are i act that way that because you're a millennial you're really selfish and dumb one thing i like about irish culture is that it's not really like that people it's just everybody punching each other on the street people put up with [ __ ] [ __ ] and they just get on with it that's certainly a thing to admire it's actually a problem because people put up with so much [ __ ] that they just let [ __ ] problems slip through and don't do anything about it that makes sense too like we only started getting good internet finally recently it's okay uh we're we're trying to wave around uh net neutrality and everything my mom and dad have five megabyte broadband right now well that's a good thing you're not there yep it's one of the main reasons so they can't watch your channel what oh they can watch it they just can't like just uploading videos from their house was a [ __ ] uploading here is awesome i i [ __ ] hate that i hate that so much floating here is [ __ ] heaven compared to there i know but at the same time i i came from chicago and the internet there is actually phenomenal yeah as bad as you guys have fiber right uh they they're introducing google fiber there yeah but uh i didn't get to use it when i was there but the point is like any oops most providers there were actually pretty good and even though people give like comcast a lot of [ __ ] the nice thing about it was download rate that i had through them was like 140 uh the internet in philly was really good like really good uh megabit per second but uh the upload rate i think was like 20 or something it was it was decent i come here what are we fixed at two we're locked in at two that's really bad it's [ __ ] terrible and even though we upgraded the most expensive package they don't up your your upload rate with any of their packages they're always just fixed in at two so it's because they're paranoid about like torrance and everything your upload speed is two megabytes mega bits it's a specific rate and it also doesn't it doesn't necessarily mean anything you want to know how fast upload speed is in ireland usually probably not even 1.1 that's what i figured it's lousy but they're i think they're getting google now too it was great in chicago like it was [ __ ] amazing it was so easy to upload things it was easy to play games and everything too i can't even [ __ ] play games at this point like i i can't play online games even though you think that too like oh it's california the internet should be great here no it [ __ ] is it's terrible because guess what it's california everyone gets to be stuck with it yeah that that's how a lot of things happen to be out here you know what's really weird thing about internet is um it's usually really good you see the camera there sure did the internet is usually very good where nobody's at like in [ __ ] rural [ __ ] whatever like in kansas it's got an amazing internet it's no kidding except in ireland if it's rural then it's worse what the [ __ ] is that yeah i don't know what that means that would hurt a lot no no not if it was me in the video game i could easily kill it i could kill crash bandicoot with a knife if i met him so many people like that i know i'm gaming do you like seeing the black box around that yeah because they didn't properly apply the alpha to it i think it's uh it's not that they didn't properly do it it's just that that's a 3d thing where if you turn up the alpha there's like levels of alpha i know that's what i'm saying is i don't think they completely blacked it out there so you can see the box around it that's what happens in blender i also know people hate how that looks but i do like that the ps1 dithers uh shading on everything yeah because when it's being blurred on like a crt that actually looks really nice it looks like there's more colors than there really are where'd you get them all oh wow look at those that's uh by the way if you're ever doing a gradient effect on something like that and it's at a high resolution be sure to uh be sure to have dead ring enabled on something like that or diffusion or whatever because i slither while i do if you don't do that you can see all of the different shades very clearly because you're only going to get about 255 of them so you want to spread that out better we'll spread you out better baby don't say that oh yeah cortex power we've almost beaten the cortex vortex cindy vortex oh [ __ ] i love crash bandicoot i like when games do stuff like that they want to show off i'm scared of this thing i remember king of fighters 94 would do that it was trying really hard to show off uh 2d visual effects they could do with the neo geo hardware let's go this way the beginning of one of the when you're about to fight it would show like uh doors opening and faking a 3d effect by scaling the graphics they like doing a lot of things like that to show up you better keep going no he's fine i uh julian do do the the doom guy sound when he gets hurt oh you keep asking me to do that i haven't played it enough he goes whenever you say doom guy i think the doom song i keep thinking you're talking about the character from night in the woods oh he splattered yeah that's gross that [ __ ] hurt a lot wow if that's acid that would be wrong jesus julian you need to cam down you [ __ ] i won't cam down i'm down you're [ __ ] [ __ ] no let's let's talk about night in the woods no i don't want i don't i really don't want to either i'm sick of talking about it what is this shitty it's not shitty don't be don't don't exaggerate it's just fortunate julian you it's not shitty it's just julian you were miserable not to mention the fact that the writing is all the writing is the worst part about it but that's all that game has it looks nice and there's julian the writing is the main focus though you're not doing anything but holding left on the keyboard yeah i think that's a bad thing i know but i'm saying the writing is the whole point to the game if the writing is bad and a game that you don't do anything in i don't think the visuals can really carry it i mean okay i love how it looks i'll say that i love those [ __ ] monitors whoa yeah look at that [ __ ] [Music] where is frankenman why is he's standing in the blue room with the camera dangling around why has he got two monitors to show it all i need is one cause he's trying to scare you [Music] if he can create flying robots why doesn't he put guns on the shoes those little things that's the projector in the second game i'm an erector see oh you're right it's cute okay well even though even though you thought night in the woods was a really miserable experience okay it wasn't awful i think i wouldn't have been as miserable if we'd taken it in chunks it's because we sat down i don't i don't know i don't know if i'd want to come back to it is the thing oh i gotta do that i i hate almost every character in it and on top of that with how the writing is if people say they can actually relate to it like if they're gonna say this character is literally me yeah i'd be that that really disappears yeah that i would raise my eyebrow and go oof art you're like this that i don't know it's a big [ __ ] platform because we were talking about that too the idea of like saying oh this character's me or like oh i could really relate with them if a character has one thing that they've experienced that lines up with something you've experienced that doesn't mean you necessarily relate with them overall i'm sorry i'm just i'm starting to get sick of the idea of relatability in general because people really it's really forceful everybody wants to be like oh yes it is force people will people will just want to like the stereotypes of what a teenager would do too let's go let's go rebel against uh my boss let's go smash light bulbs with the baseball bat uh [ __ ] [ __ ] pigs f the police uh what else they don't say [ __ ] pigs because they won't say they won't say [ __ ] no they say f but they'll say [ __ ] all the time that's okay they say ugh and psy but uh what was the one stop [ __ ] her that's not how [ __ ] works you do you jump against you you hit your head against somebody's hand that's how you [ __ ] yeah i like to [ __ ] [ __ ] is good what if i [ __ ] someone small what if i [ __ ] somebody tall oh no you fell from tom wow why do you always do that chris i was going to call you crash my name's not crash why do you always do that rational yeah what if you're actually called crash look at me [Laughter] i like this music it's cool oh i pushed x okay this isn't a very unresponsive game either that or something wrong [Music] oh it's that you have really slow acceleration in this so it feels clumsy not to mention you can't steer your jumps really at all you have to commit to them look at them looking around two i mean two is a huge improvement on that everything is really responsive and it feels great oh my god my debt perception was off there chris i just want you to know that whenever i react that way i'm not judging you for being a bad player don't worry everyone else is i'm just saying that's true you suck at crash bang i hate i hate it don't you know i can play call of duty with one arm tied behind my eye when was the last time you played this by the way um i don't know because i haven't played this since it first came out um probably i don't know three or four years ago because uh that's that's the thing too is when a lot of people pick up games like this it's usually like okay you're not super familiar with it you probably [ __ ] god oh my god i can't see where yeah it's really awkward in this one not to mention it's not it's a black backdrop so you can't even keep track of your shadows yeah they're [ __ ] up but uh typically when people are doing stuff like this it could be games that they're not even super familiar with so obviously they're gonna have a harder time than someone who's played it pretty recently i also find it hard to carry a conversation and concentrate yeah that's the biggest thing it is really hard to talk and focus that's what everyone's i ended up standing still on a falling platform because i was trying to talk that's what everyone claims is so easy to do well i get i i get frustrations on stuff like that yeah like if you're watching something for the game but why the [ __ ] would anyone watch us for the game that's right uh because they they've never they've never seen this game before they would think what's this new crash bandicoot business i want to find out clearly not really [ __ ] i've never seen this game before what the [ __ ] were they dying oh i like that he's waiting for you three of them if i marketed myself as an elite gamer then i'd understand what people are mad elite gamer [ __ ] watch out that was terrifying that was close if you want to write a teenage character i'm sorry they're but they're not teenagers they're like 24. listen that's millennials they they they are 20 plus but act like they're 11. i don't like that i'm adulting i am an adult look at me i i realize that probably sounds really hypocritical coming from a channel where we make fart sounds true although listen we don't we don't act like this all the time i think part of the reason we laugh at that though is because it's also stupid no i get obviously it's like but it probably doesn't come off that way probably not when you're watching somebody videos like this it probably it's very easy to just be like oh that's what they're like all the time clearly we should be saying ugh and like all the time and uh dot dot singing the doom song do they really he says doom doom doom yep and he says tacos i thought you're gonna say they do say the top that's why i was very curious if this guy the guy who may i don't know his name uh i was very curious if the guy who made knight in the woods was actually specifically inspired by invader zim because they got the tacos they got the doom they got the random character that's the one everybody likes by the way they say he's so cute he put cups on his ears he's so wacky nope that's what i say when i'm playing it we talked about night in the woods way longer than i wanted to i i feel like it's a good discussion though because otherwise we're not gonna have anything it just makes me sad it are you i mean i bought it i wanted to actually hope for it to be something more than that i was worried that's what it was gonna be but at the same time when i was the one who was optimistic i was like we really should play it i think it would be neat i i love how it looks visually oh my god because i think that's the thing too a lot of people probably assume for me like oh you you just you just want all games to be like video games where it's action no i can take in something like that i am completely fine with something like that if it does a good job with it the visuals were why most people back the kickstarter it wasn't because they're like oh look punk teenagers that's what i want if anything that seems to me like it would uh push people if it didn't have animal characters and it didn't have that art style nobody would care about it if it was people characters because i mostly only i'm that's what the audience right now seems to be just exclusively furries at this point because i don't hear anyone talk about it everyone like day one was big about it and then they just kind of shut up a lot of websites still haven't even reviewed it but it did well it made half a million in like the first week i'll [ __ ] come on dude you got flattened on top of the acid these these bouncing barrels you can't [ __ ] see where they are i'm trying to think though there was something really stereotypical of like writing a teenage character that they did i'm forgetting what it was like i was it i mean i just think about the entire character it is the entire thing it's it's why it's frustrating to hear people say it's so relatable because it's taking the easy way out on everything it's just going maybe everybody who relates to the character is a teenager you think it could be but even then it's like oh they dropped out of college i relate to that okay do you relate to hallucinating all the time passing out randomly vomiting vomiting for no reason another discussion breaking down and deciding that you're disconnected from reality knowledge so you're going to smash someone's face in with a baseball bat that's what you connect with is that you yeah because that's the character that's the main character good lord i i hope you don't relate with that fully look at this [ __ ] how am i supposed to dodge this i can't the thing that i the thing that i really that oh you did it chris the thing that bugs me about that specifically is i understand people being like oh i also have a mental illness i can i can empathize with that that's one thing but it's not a mental illness issue it's not an allegory it's that they went crazy because uh uh uh yep a [ __ ] lovecraftian monster entered their dreams people people too who are analyzing the game were like oh well it still could be in their head no because no because they go to great lengths to show the audience that it's not and they bring in a [ __ ] cult who's talking about things that they're already aware of too so but which by the way no build up on the cult in any way they just show them here and there and then the end of the game is an hour and a half dedicated to them just saying this is who we are and this is everything we're doing and this is our plan and this is why we're here and it's like great you know you had seven hours to build this up and you didn't do it you're just dropping it at the end that's bad writing in general where are the checkpoints [ __ ] jesus they really should have shadows under those by the way yeah uh crash has a shadow why don't i don't know because i am [ __ ] oh there was a checkpoint okay it's a use oh my god it's a useful thing in a lot of games i remember people the the winnie the pooh baseball flash game that everyone said super hard the the secret to that one is that you just watch the shadow because the perspective doesn't matter i'm just blasting through it because there's no strategy there's no way to actually see where the [ __ ] it is is it random when he throws a bouncing one it seems to be yeah i can't [ __ ] i can't see where it is i mean yeah sure okay that said if you like night in the woods that's fine like i'm not gonna hate you god bless you for being able to look past all the stuff that we didn't like oh get out of there my name is crash and i'm here to fly help tana brought me into the trees the mushroom tree pop this this colors are really nice up here pop oh oh did you get you [ __ ] loser i didn't mean it you're cool i forgot it's not crash too yeah it's weird too what were you trying to do if you spin he kind of just goes out of control while spinning you can't stop yeah he skates along see yeah oh yeah look at that that's just me tapping it that's really weird this is gonna take a while to get used to it's [ __ ] [ __ ] if it was in 2d like you know side view would be nice be fine okay well there's no shadow i i i'm looking at the exact spot there that i need to get to it changes yep it does they really [ __ ] this one okay right here why did anybody like this game when it came out i feel like people are a lot more hey you did it baby i feel like you know how i did that i looked at it i looked at the grading as it was bouncing to just memorize what spot it was i could stand on i feel like people would tear apart a game if it was this hard to get through nowadays uh no it says challenging people would they 80s games are way more challenging than this that's true this is like [ __ ] challenging i never really understood this boss fight you just kind of yeah you don't do anything you just wait oh really yep you don't do anything you wait till he jumps up on the thingy my name is julian oh he doesn't even have pin stripes oh i guess you can't hit him when he's doing that oops i mean that's a lot of crash one is just uh waiting being patient yeah most of the difficulty comes from things moving like moving platforms and everything you have to just wait for the pattern to line up perfect that's what the stage they removed was there was a ton of that i'm glad they removed that yeah i know the the creators were very proud of that level but people like more than just that in platforming i i i don't think most people like moving platforms anyways it just wastes time are they gonna be able to keep this in isn't use of guns like not isn't that frowned upon they'll they'll make it into a laser gun i mean did they change that i don't know that's what i'm asking is wouldn't they not do it now she doesn't die he just kneels down and accepts his fate i don't blame him he's thinking in his head [ __ ] [ __ ] what's with the depth perceptions i can't [ __ ] see we're almost we've almost beat the game bet the game um don't worry i got 55 crash faces that makes it all okay that's uh that's i guess i expected that that was possible that's donkey kong country rules just give people a million lives and it's okay oh donkey kong country feels pretty fair all the time it uh it feels a-okay in terms of difficulty forgetting that pig just kills you by touching you i thought you were gonna ride him you can jump on spiky lizards but not the [ __ ] regular ass pig regular ass face look at him in the credits like nothing spectacular about him have you ever talked about white pig goo go home i like that video that's uh that's the japanese nationalists and uh uh an american a bunch of americans come into the airport and they're just chanting why do pig go home why and the guys are just kind of looking around confused probably because they don't even know what they're saying they probably can't understand yeah exactly oh no this turtle's freaking out oh oh he lives there now hey it's tana my soups okay chris so if you the the things you find uh physically attractive about woman is just [ __ ] woman [ __ ] about a woman i don't i didn't mean to say it that way it's fine i say i say it weird does i so does tana work for you would you just be like oh she's good i want to [ __ ] yeah i love her orange flaps [ __ ] no me malone was tana i didn't [ __ ] her if she cosplayed his tongue okay what if she cosplayed this tauna i feel like that would kind of ruin her look listen tana's not asl no more she punched the bad guys in the opening she was never i don't think that was ever a part of no but but everyone acted like that's what it was because she had big boobs shoot the big fat crash tata they they say that about lara croft too because uh i think she's a stop yeah because her t-tops are so big except that was like a last-second decision they made it well that that doesn't impact her personality but it's they granted i've never played one of those games they made her her boobos big by mistake and they thought it was funny so they kept it in really yeah they accidentally made them too large and thought it looked funny but uh now she goes from uh doing handstands and cartwheels uh shooting at yetis to uh crying and doubling over in pain but now she's realistic that's more better better for the who for you for me the gaming public now i relate i like lara croft i just want to relate with the fictional media her redesign really helped me uh when i play a video game i don't want to play it for any sort of escapism or to have fun in any way or entertainment i i want to feel bad 24 7 every day of my life i want to be reminded of everything that's harsh in the world please drag all politics into games too just bring it all in give me everything everything i don't want to hear about please happened to these turtles they died oh my god is this like the armenian genocide are we denying the turtle genocide now too gamergate killed them what happened all about gamergate harassed them into submission oh no how long ago was that like three years ago yeah people are still blaming it for [ __ ] no one [ __ ] cares yeah and now brianna was talking about throwing moon rocks down on earth yeah i saw that [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] chris i mean crazy chris what that's not it's not gender specific oh no it's gonna be slipping and sliding that lady has the biggest adam's apple i've ever seen chris what chris what chris if a lady came out flopping her dick around in her hand and you were like quit flopping your dick around don't worry julian i won't die not even once [ __ ] swain made his own shader in unity and look great that's stupid you shouldn't be doing it no he made a great [ __ ] you should just be using other people's you made a really good uh you should have tried to stylize yourself shade shader that had a beautiful lighting engine he could choose the highlight and you know shadow like in jet set radio a checkpoint please no they they love they love not giving you checkpoints in this look at the sinking on this [ __ ] he's doing a little trick look he gets purple poopy on you know what they could do to make this easier to kind of tell the oh my god it's the lumper fruit if uh if the planks there got darker when they got pulled in and make it a lot more clear good job chris thanks baby you were very good at this game i don't think i would i like i like the the lightning and how it's lighting the little spike things it's vertex lighting it's uh it's still a really nice looking game this is the hardest level [ __ ] obviously capitalism is not [ __ ] perfect but what's better you're getting a bunch of comments now i would like to know obvio i mean obviously three three let's player [ __ ] are not gonna have the answer no unfortunately i've just never heard the the answer to it that's all we're start we're stupid smell this don't eat it smell it what is it it doesn't smell like anything my name is rubber i miss that smell i'm dying so much i had a lot of toys i'm all burnt out from playing this now like burnt rubber no like burnt glue i am a rubber whatever you throw at me okay i landed on it but no never mind i'll just slip right off good lord your glue whatever you throw at me bounces back and sticks to you unless you throw glue at me then it sticks to me i always hated that that saying just because it doesn't rubber doesn't well whatever the meaning forget the meaning i hate that it doesn't make like it doesn't have a rhythm to it no it just it's just they rhyme yeah it has no beat oh nelly i i remember even in grade school i think i brought this up already but there was a there was a poster in one of the classrooms and said sticks and stones may break my bones but words can really hurt me and i remember being bothered by that even as a kid thinking to myself like isn't that doesn't feel right why why are you isn't the idea to kind of toughen kids up why would you have that there oh just trying to encourage kids not to do it not to be mean but you cannot stop kids from being mean little horrible okay well i guess i'm dead now would you say that's the defining characteristic of small children is that they're just really mean to each other chris yeah they're terrible little shits look at her comment section those are grown adults i can't see yeah that's what i thought this is not a very smart idea for a level yeah neither was the firefly firefly makes more sense than this at least this means if you take a hit you're just [ __ ] oh yeah firefly you can at least go back to try to get it again you did it chris you did it you really [ __ ] did it now there he is and he's stretched out for some reason [Music] my name's crash bank code oh come on do you think the music in this game is like this because they didn't because i remember hearing about the the team with this how it was this [ __ ] he used god damn it it was a small focused effort i like subtle music i don't mind it but i'm i'm wondering too if it was also it's not catchy you're not going to listen to it in your character well i am because of how how simple it is i'm wondering if it was kind of like a quick thing they got in there too because i don't mind it but i'm wondering i think it suits it absolutely perfect these [ __ ] rats go out i would love a homer shake that's when homer comes in and shakes you and he kills his baby ah that was a joke from the stupid dogs i'm almost well you can have the next one i liked when he said shake and they just started vibrating i thought that was funny they uh i didn't like it at the end when they were dancing because i don't think that's as funny i think it's funny because they were just sitting in place and vibrating julian you're like weird [ __ ] i do that's usually that's usually the the reason i like something is if it's weird that's a good reason why oh they got murdered by three little bears i can't see sir [ __ ] oh thank god oh do you wanna play the next level okay here you go oh boy the map my favorite more like the fap ha ha oh wow welcome back everybody we didn't end up saving so we had to use a password oops that's what we get for naught here's this guy again [Laughter] he does look like he's in pain okay do you think they made that sound to sound like the looney tunes intro no good job chris to a great start this crash bandicoot you take the high road and there's the floating warthog how far did we get in the floor wrath of cortex oh crap not very yet crashed oh maybe we could play it on the xbox up here is ps2 xbox gamecube playstation 2 36 fried chicken and a pizza i love that song i love it that's because you love you love food you love being nude and you love having food you're a lewd dude who loves his food a new did you say the new doodle nude loot dude who likes his food but he's often quite rude i'm not rude you're rude you're way better than he is you guys are just usually still you're still you just put on a show for the camera you you you were making fun of me last night you said i was mean to everybody yeah and then you called him an annoying i did not no we got the curry house you you you shout out loud he said a really angry email to them it didn't even happen i didn't shout it in front of the lady too i didn't shout she wasn't there she wasn't a lady [Laughter] i'm not shouting at the ladies she's not a lady [Music] her eyes are always squinting she can barely see me oh my god remember you said that i didn't say that you did stop making fun well chris [ __ ] me dude now i'm not going to get the joom the gym jum whoa look at his little eyeballs those are his testicles oh my god that would be awful why would it be awful because i don't want like little squishy eyeballs in my nut sack that's really gross you wouldn't [ __ ] me you wouldn't see anything yes i would you see darkness i would see the inside it would be like when you close your eyes there's no light they're translucent julian you got to get away from the light what is that i don't know it's darkness inside your balls are you doing the kingdom hurts yeah except it was the kingdom hurts hurt is he pregnant i can feel him kicking now no julian why don't you like prague porn no i don't want it this is dumb who needs it chris what are you doing of course you're you need to say no it's fun look how much fun we're having yeah oh this isn't gonna work give me my phone who the heck i like how she's looking around i'm your boyfriend remember let's just go home what's she doing wait just stand there maybe i'll say jumping flash what the hell is that last one it's casper oh oh well the [ __ ] eraser yeah no i will always hold him true in my heart i forgot we were playing odd world did that get deleted i don't think it was very good man holy [ __ ] me dude these are the the tertoids who knocked them all over you can't see the shadow oh what do you what are you toilet toilets funny julian looking room toilet is funny we're gonna start here and what a funny little bandicoot dude leave the toilets [Laughter] julian that's you grasping for straws who's the one next to it i do do that all right grasping for dig that's mean that's me spinning into a box like a bandicoot that's not what they do that's you flying right that's what they do in real life they spin that's what birds do when they die they fly over the ocean and spin out and shrink i don't know why i did that because you thought it was going to change wow whoa wow whoa oh god chris when he's just going to make a song out of that i know it did it went wow oh yeah you did didn't you i did it was a good song check out my soundcloud there's all kinds of funny things in there you can hear julia taking pictures there's audio when he yelled at the woman at the mcdonald's i didn't do that you pulled on her hair i pulled on her you slammed her face on the countertop and they pulled on her hair because it fell into my burger and i pulled it out you pulled out like while it was still attached to her head i pulled out hair to put it on my burger and then you took it out again that's good [ __ ] remember when the lady put the the severed finger in her wendy's chili yeah nobody knows where it came from well that i mean it was from it was from her it was from no it wasn't so then she would have been missing a finger everybody no no no i i don't mean like from her directly i mean she brought the finger in yeah no what she brought in the finger she cut it off some unsuspecting boy an unsuspecting boy and i'm suspecting boy she went on okay cupid and said looking for finger she was standing at the counter she had to make sure to flick the finger in right before anyone saw flick it so it was like a game of like and she went wait a second there's a finger in my chili i didn't notice it until until now what does she sound like robbie rocky look at this finger because that's just foul that's what robbie would do he would try to get away without paying for something but by putting a finger you wouldn't cut off a finger sure he would [ __ ] he would disguise himself he's a real he's a real villain i guess you're right he would disguise himself as a finger we wouldn't they would oh my god and he would curl i don't like these [ __ ] guys they're scary well they're old men now yeah they got transformed what are these birds they're vultures oh god that was close did you know they his name was ace ventura because he goes on an adventure look out i'm fine julian calm the [ __ ] down [ __ ] bean head is scared bean head wow this is racist is that better than wayne head how am i supposed to time this [ __ ] what you don't like desynchronize patterns no not when there's three going on at once and they're all spazzing i think that one actually was synced up okay this one not this one this one looks pretty awful don't worry julian i got it chris it's real scary oh it's funny listen to the music that's what that's what every child's parent tells them about the haunted mansion at disneyland [ __ ] shortcut no it's not funny it's not scary it's funny and i continued to be scared of it until i was 16. and now you want your ashes scattered ashes to ash listen it doesn't matter because i clean it up instantly let me on let me on i want too funny how often do you think that happens that they scatter someone's ashes very often it's disneyland why would you uh fall places then again you'd want to wouldn't you i want to be maybe like 10 years ago when it would have meant something i want to be buried in captain toad's wild ride captain toad captain frog i like it captain toad what's his name it's it's mr toad mr frog i want them to scatter my ashes underneath the churro stand there's multiple churro stands object [ __ ] throwing the pink things at me this wrong object not very good [ __ ] check this out i'm going to fall right onto it that's very scary i didn't i didn't know it doesn't let you jump it's very scary like a little crash he's telling me oh god he's getting bigger stop stop stop stop that you [ __ ] would you be would you be scared if you if you saw somebody die if you saw somebody die but then their corpse started getting bigger and bigger they started bloating really hard what if they were spinning while growing bigger too yeah and they kept spinning faster and growing larger in the dark yeah that would be horrible they had a light source coming from them what if object [ __ ] blew you up with a pink tube what if they were well i did it again that's great pink tubes what if they were dark but they had a light source coming from them so like the whole room was illuminated except for them these are dumb hypotheticals no answers to give hypothetic is supposed to make you think and question your own morality mama luigi that's a perfect one that's a perfect hypothetical would you rather mama luigi would you rather mama or luigi not would you rather mama luigi because what's the opposite end to it that's what i'm saying you guys are [ __ ] today [Laughter] i want them to scatter my ashes underneath the churro stand okay fine hypothetically mama yeah what if uh chris look out chris oh thanks you saved me let's just do it if you crash bandicoot stuffed your face into a slurpee machine what flavor would you want it to be in your final moments as you drown what dog knows dog knows isn't a flavor of slurpee not yet patented what does dog nose taste like chris watery snot that's gross snottery what what's the what's the grossest way of putting jerking off because we're we're discussing that oh yeah what because i just thought tugging it sounds pretty gross i said i said slinging yogurt that i think that might be one of the worst flapping it flapping it oh my goodness gracious i i heard it referred to as dick snot before and that's pretty bad that is pretty bad dick snot that is foul oh my god dude jesus christ what do i do i can't believe it i did it oh my god he's dead i don't like it you made him commit suicide he knew there was no way out i cornered him slippery climb that's a bad way of describing jerking off it's like climbed climb slippery climb i'm going to put my slippery clip in oh my god chris look out i'm being i've been pretty good in this one you have what about slippery clump was that that is a foul it sounds like a bunch of nasty pubes on the shower floor it's congealed [ __ ] it's a big lippery clump don't worry julian i'm i'm fine have you ever heard come on what the [ __ ] what [ __ ] butt [ __ ] have you ever heard the word come in a video game like that's in the dialogue c-u-m come no because i can't actually think of any game that come has been set in when i was younger i came on my game and put it in the playstation it's not the same thing chris baby care baby [Laughter] he was from tailspin what oh my god what happened tailspin had the mama bear who was very mean in some episodes when she was mean she was very very mean but when she was good she was very very good it's a little it's a little boy bear with the cap that everybody wants to [ __ ] really oh i know him yeah hello bear why do you want to [ __ ] him chris i didn't say that why do you like twist words all the time are you talking about we're just a couple mini bo beans real twister you're the movie with the twitter here's a tongue twister she sells seashells by this she sells seashells down by the sea ding dong pronounces that tongue twister in a way that bugs me because i don't believe that it's real [ __ ] that's it you got it that's how i say it no no ah [ __ ] that's because they say sneaky that was an actual scream whoa nelly that was a real scream it actually scared me it's what's halloween julian happy halloween that's your new like little thing that's because i love it how long are we gonna they get mad if you make a joke about that happy halloween everyone look at these guys that was that's the second time i've actually screamed in my life ever actually yeah what about when when your uncle ran into the shovel and bonked you in the head with it and i went hey i love it when you visit look out why'd you say [ __ ] dark souls no oh what does he say then no he doesn't he says and like he says i love finn from adventure time he says ow my little finger oh ow my little finger listen for it holy [ __ ] why is he so stretched out there i don't know this is a real ghoul house i've ever seen one packing on the little house rock this is the school of rock it's a tv show now is this it yeah it was who's doing it or do they did they actually get jackpot no they didn't and miranda cosgrove no they just got whoever remember that was the first thing she was in miranda's claws there's that uh there's that clip yeah uh uh where he's talking to the black girl and she says what did she say she says why don't you go on a diet it's a jack black yeah it's really mean because you because they're talking about being fat jack fat yeah and and i always when i was a kid i always heard it as why do you want to die and that it always confused me i won't confuse anybody especially you and it's it's funny because he follows it up with because i like to eat who says that jack black no he says [Applause] [Laughter] remember during the song they say kick some ass and all the parents look shocked yeah oh yeah that didn't happen grab their kids and bring them home and slap their faces doesn't one of them faint really oh he said bottom no he said hiney ho [ __ ] honey honey hole whoa dally see that those words mean different things fanny is a grosser thing i've got a nasty fanny oh tiny means uh because i'm imagining your weird [ __ ] my weird fanny my weird pussy.com that sounds like a kid's movie how does it sound like a kid's movie oh my god ryan ryan said it last night at curry house when he's like he's talking about baby looney tunes they forgot the name and he called it looney babies don't you think of looney tunes if you hear the name looney babies but i don't i think i think i've had a bunch of crazy babies babies oh i laughed at heart of that word julian it's funny baby where's the where's uncle spids there we go i can't wait to eat this baby uh why don't we go watch clone high because it's hard to find it is not it isn't i had it as a torrent when i was younger even though that julie chris i was in ireland that's parading no it's it's lolling it's true it's happening well this is a mess no it's fun see yeah why why are all these pillars shaking because there's the pillar man ah there's a little [ __ ] blue boy but it disappear what the [ __ ] is that what's going on i'm going to [ __ ] my pants what is that i fart my sink was off there the spiders are scared get the spitter you got him already oh crash gets impaled and died i hope crash kills my parents they were mean to me i summon you [Laughter] crash bandicoot is the silliest thing to [ __ ] to summon for revenge we confiscated i called you crash bandicoot savior of the wampa islands [ __ ] the thumping one bird thumping woman they changed the name of it yeah my name is what would you do if you're no your child got in trouble at school because his diary was filled with drawings of crash bandicoot murdering you [Laughter] yeah you say islam no island oh that's why it's called an island because it is land no it's islam you're gonna miss oh look that's why they're called islam because it is lamb it's lame sacrifice oh nelly holy lord in heaven this level is quite the long tuffy i got my girlfriend's head there we go chris yeah if you were jumping around in the void uh which of our heads would you rather collect [Music] if you run up the edge because how did [Laughter] holy [ __ ] do you see that in the dark look down there look oh my god it's nothing i think this is this i think this is a good session no you blew the cobra up cold bro cold bro look out julian it's fine that's the bad guys from g.i jumping the [ __ ] out of these guys from guijo he doesn't have any ghee oops my sword and my ghee i am who is he look out i'm good look out look out for the ghoulish beat he's trying to eat them that's not the song oh my god i didn't know you could move up and down in those well so much for saving the game don't worry there's bats to help why did so many people do weird save systems at the time because donkey kong country 2 is weird oh my god he got flattened down even though it came from the side this game is ruined this game's still been ugly oh my [ __ ] if you're gonna flatten him flatting him the right way stupid [ __ ] who's with me bae is there a way to do this part how do i get past pokemon go tell the polls oh how pokemon go to hell why don't i remember any of this from last time because this is as far as we got my name is rodrigo i think this is where we were a big buff brewski brewski what was the gem here stand on it gives you a million lives wow wow we're running out of lives wow we beat the level look at that little crab go you beat the level did you really yeah i'd be okay with that what [Music] i get it i get it why does it let you skip the level great he's he's happy in the background though who do you think made that ancient ruin that had crashed his face on it um god of the tiki of the tiki the tiki ruler the funny dicky god my friend he's indian there he is his face looks better than andromeda oh oh my god huh do you see what's oh my god i ain't never seen this [ __ ] it says oh my virginia who's this the mask when it goes away oh he says oh i'm virgin rub virgin olive oil all over my feather which one i don't know ask him he's dead i just brio is scary oh my god oh embryo i get it yeah cuz he's a little baby oh and cortex i get no drink your [ __ ] [ __ ] they didn't misspell nitrous i like the whole thing dope that's the second game he says doe look at it listen he says oh crash is horrified by what he's done i've killed the man the lab this [ __ ] ending of the game i think so this is very anticlimactic no this is a fun level see there's all kinds of craziest things oh my gosh this is the level that if you have all the gems you you go across the bridge mm-hmm or my girlfriend burn my girlfriend oh my god it's gonna fall oh [ __ ] me come on now that didn't help me at all sometimes this game could be pretty what's all these what are all these bouncy jellies that they got you don't like him i'm just i i've they've i've never seen them referencing any other crease they're from the slurpee machine what is it with you in the syrupy machine i do too every day of my life why because i like frosty drinks we've gone over this it's not frosty it's a it's a i like slushes i like smoothies i like shakes you like crushies that's not a thing you like smooshies i would drink a squishy you know they should make an open world crash game where you can like go around collecting fruit and kill yourself and they should mix in rpg elements because those always work and you should be able to do a backflip and he should steal a car at one point should give him a sword too and a gun have a lock picking minigame and a hacking minigame and you can do play the tubes game from windows 95 have it so he pins down tonight and hacks her system completed i used to have battle chest from interplay on my computer as a kid i never knew it was battle chess and i never knew it was from interplay on my computer it was just called chess oh you should uh you should play the one and what's he doing oh it's the guy from the second game oh he's scary what's his problem is he gonna scream yeah baby it's like the good old days oh my god go in it's scary it's scary [Music] come on now let me in come on come on then sorry she binge it's a guru larry ron lionheart okay ron leonhardt that's strong bad is it he says he said show us your minge oh man so is your [ __ ] name [ __ ] show is your rotten mint oh no that's gross oh no i didn't say it you always bring up yeast oh [ __ ] yeast i thought you said waste you're the greatest i should've that's just me [ __ ] stealing a joke who's joke a spongebob yeah that's true they talk about yeast infections in spongebob you're going to get blowed what happened to crash where'd it go oh patrick says i thought you said yes like my infection i like your i like your patrick he sounds a lot more aggressively stupid aggressively yeah the guy who does his voice is like amazing is he like amazing or amazing he's just amazing what does he do he looks at his daughter and says oh no no not like a pedophile like a happy dad happy dad i am happy dad is that like angry dad that was a tv show angry dad was dangerous that was homer simpsons i am angry in the funny late season homer or bart makes a flash cartoon yeah and it gets bought really yeah i mean oh you're right and they they reference uh joe cartoon remember joe carter do they really yes what why was joe cartoon so big in the day i don't know everyone knew about it yeah they did i remember there was a video of a guy sitting under a tree and it's like this is bob he's smoking weed he's watching joe cartoon not that it was bad i just don't get it i'm my neck huh a gem too bad it's gone no there it is bye here's a fun sound julian that was really fun i had a good time this is the last this siri call syria i'll trace you siri we gotta beat dr net neuro cortex nero dr disc writing nero cortex dr nimrod cortez why is his castle on fire oh yeah why crashes was on fire the whole time when he was climbing it oh [ __ ] oops stupid i'm stupid dilbert uh his voice is strange it's not like the uh games they got that uh that guy from starship troopers to be in it oh darth vader mr krabs uh i'm scared this is boring this is the final challenge chris it's all been building up to this he hurt your girlfriend with his enormous head a little more excited he he stepped on her feet looks really painful he's dying okay okay oh wow and then he turned into a woman crush yeah let's end it with the intro what's he looking at dude he's gonna [ __ ] his girlfriend she's this strong why didn't she save the dude we did it we burned down an island of small creatures everybody's dead so this is it huh this is it listen in the animated one it gets blown up crash bandicoot why do they put three dots they're really good because you didn't get all the gems like a creepy uncle right dan coleman that's what my dad does i know my dad does too whatever he likes he sounds [ __ ] depressed he always he types in haha is that a is that a common thing because when i was working for a company that happened all the time yeah yeah it makes you sound depressed well yeah like you you'll always hold me back you'll ask for something for work and then go okay no but it's worse when they put two dots because then you really can't read what they're trying to do my [ __ ] uncle's supposed to be a comedian and he's like my comedy show check it out nobody came check it out yuichi in my john james dylan [Laughter] american eggs dude mutato i love that guy oh i can't go in i can't go with it why'd you do it i wanted to go in it can't go in why you shouldn't do a joke if you don't want it to go in let's just let's just end it right here thank you for watching never watch our channel again go the [ __ ] away we hate you no julian i hate all of you julian i was kidding put in the passcode i was not kidding one two three dot ie just log on and save money jesus let's put it on mono hahahaha that's right it was really funny chris you'll never know what hit him that's wacky crash is really scared because that wasn't him that screamed okay bye forwarded we did it i'm gonna go take the system hmm [Music]

Channel: OneyPlays

Views: 269,425

Keywords: Oneyplays, oney crash, oney crash woah, oneyplays crash, oney plays crash, oney plays crash 1, oney plays crash complete, oney plays crash complete series, oney plays crash 1 ps1, crash bandicoot, crash bandicoot meme, crash woah, crash ps1, crash original game, crash ps1 lets play, crash bandicoot ps1 playthrough, crash ps1 gameplay, crash bandicoot complete, crash bandicoot ps1 complete

Id: jdCOEY5hnY8

Length: 116min 56sec (7016 seconds)

Published: Tue May 24 2022