Craig Ferguson fun with guests compilation - part #1

what do you do go to strip clubs and things yeah yeah what do you think about that I think that's awesome I thought you might you know I think I think it's about a woman just letting it all out taking it off just just dancing and shaking just shimmying I could go I could go on and on go right ahead you haven't really looked at Donald or me have you I'm looking at you now yes you are and I'm looking at you studs up here this is an easy access button [Applause] yeah yeah I'm always happy when you make it to the show it just makes me yeah that's right but the shoes stay on is that is good yeah that's very good come on ladies the shoes stay on the clothes come off look here's here's the thing let's let's do a little role play here I like role playing all right I'm the studio head okay and you're pitching me this movie about hitchhikers all right you ready okay okay go can I do something sexual hey it depends if you want your movie made or not I really have to pitch it now I got a horrible this though I'm not on my job I'm an actress I go in and just do the lines they tell me to do all right then you don't have to pitch it just do something sexual can I see the oh you think one of those up there white out all right really we're gonna do this yeah look at that sucker wow [Music] Greg loves them and you know we made sure to say hi to Jeff can I interject I like it when you do that with your finger again right there should we just do the whole we'll just do it like this the whole thing like this tell me about yourself wait up can't think getting a little sweaty it's a little awkward [Music] what I am delighted about though are your shoes wow is that are do you bedazzle your own or is that a that's a big guy that's a high five tonight the jazzle or bedazzle if you want to talk with jazlyn I am and let's go wait I've kissed a lot of women on screen and it's weird because when we're out together a lot of people are like we can just kiss each other again and I'm like really are we still like what's going on here like I don't think men grow out of that no we don't no well you see what it is is that the Allure and the the mystery of you know uh lesbian sex for men is this it's like girls who are sexually aroused without another dude in there wasting it for you that's what heterosexual men think so when you see two women like you know to make it out it's like oh look they're kissing and there's no guy involved that I could be the one to help them out yeah yeah so I could get in there and you know man it up for everybody no I'm having a crisis right now I'll tell you why but it's because when you came out and your your microphone didn't work huh it kind of kind of threw me a bit oh it did well not not the microphone it freaked me out I thought I'm being too creepy today I am are you yeah I think I don't think so I think I think you're the same creepy you always are but it's a it's a good thing creepy is good you're I mean when you have an accent it's like oh thank you so if you if you're like if you say put a lotion in the basket right but if you say put the lotion in the basket that's all right can you say it now Put the lotion in the basket yeah and that's not good but that's not that everybody does that does what's frustrating is like when you date sometimes we guys think that just because you're the girl and like just because I go on a date with you or kiss you or have sex with you that all of a sudden I want to be with you forever because I just fainted inside the guys think that because they think oh you're the girl and I'm the guy and and I just the thing is that sometimes you're the girl and I'm the guy that's just how it is sometimes like I don't really want it sometimes I just need you to sometimes you just want them to be quiet be like stop talking so much be pretty I love you I believe the children are our future yes [Applause] all right if I love that you you're in gospel and it's even fish like fish bumping against me I don't know why I think they would bump against me no they would I scuba dive uh often do they bump against you yeah and off times they go up and go have you seen Emily I wouldn't mind bumping against her and they all have slightly off but they're perfect and they have kind of Cockney accents oh they are welcome to Hawaii and I say Let Me swim away you should try it it's awesome I imagine a box in my head but I don't know what's in it only Jeff knows what's in the box okay you try and guess what's in it if you're right he'll tell you if you're wrong you have to pay a four feet what what's that mean means that something sexy happens to you with you [Laughter] I like as your dress got bits cut in it that you can see through uh-huh great it's one of it's the magical illusion though you think you can see through it you can't I'm happy with thinking I can see through it back it up Secretariat back it up let the lady see what you got [Applause] what kind of music would they play if elephant seals had music yeah you may have been on my list Craig Ferguson my husband's probably watching the show like trying to see if I'm throwing you any signs like he's gonna notice this at all I mean this is really subtle yeah he's not gonna see he's not going to notice anything uh no that's what yeah yeah I am well you know all the bees usually only sting you if you annoy them that's what my mother always said it's a bee it will only sting you if you annoy it so I shouldn't have gone up to me like oh RB yeah I guess now I know like better now you should not work out and do all that stuff I do what do you do I do yoga oh nice what kind of yoga Kundalini Yoga I like the Kundalini do you do you know it do you know what Kundalini is oh yes I do wow I do Kundalini is the one you do for a very long time isn't it you know you hold the paws and Kundalini for a very long time you almost have to go longer than they think you're gonna have to go over there Kundalini you love affairs I'm known to be the international I like them so you like to have international love affairs then tell me that any of your Spanish boyfriends have a mustache one actually I dated Mr Madrid for like a half a second right and then I dated a matador all right did he have the big tight patch he did and he wore them like you did yeah no it looks good it looks better on you than it does on a mat or no but the many people are yeah that's right yeah yeah with the swinging and yeah yeah we need to do as a guest star on that one I I would have you can do that for as long as you like it's an it's fantastic thank you wow ah can you mind if I tried that on oh really yeah sure nice oh thanks very much oh my God oh my God yeah I have one word for you what Liberace I you know what I think mayor of San Francisco I just made that up foreign they say you know the whole idea is that you know we've got to streamline the show make it a little more you know CBS a little more broadcast friendly and not so much in the way of sexual innuendo or you know cuss words and stuff but I have to tell you you look what's like I'm gonna go baby look I can't I'm sorry I'm a passionate man I cannot keep inside me what I know to be true I look at you and I'm like damn man my man I might be a painted TV clown to you sure but inside these pants beats are thunderously impressive penis welcome back to the Big Show where if you've not seen the show for a while we used to be in a tiny little studio and CBS didn't bother about us at all and we didn't have to deal with Executives now we've moved into a big expansive studio and we get to have bath with us every night to make sure that we're a given quality program to the CBS audience and also to make sure that I don't see anything dirty like what's that coming ago PBS executive you should be excited about that I am excited about that oh you really do not know your face because you're talking that's why my face is this it's my first time no no you want me to come out and go like this see I I think I've done that haven't I done that that was pretty good yeah that was some of your best works [Applause] people assume it's for a character right it's not for a character I'm just a knob and no one knows what that is it because he's in the Twilight films of course yeah right now someone understands a word I say anyway CBS has a present for you Beth why don't you bring out their present the Beth is a CBS executive she could probably help you in your uh in your work to know about business come on oh come on how Beth is a CBS executive aren't you both yes I am you have been awarded dinner for two at Craig's Restaurant it's not my actual restaurant it's a restaurant called Craig's it's got nothing to do with me a bit like your friend has got nothing to do with you too I turned my bag and just walk away I could sense the dirty and I just wanted to go market on the stripe can you sense the dirty now [Laughter] since the dirty baby [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] they're nice though I did it nice on the on the monarchy I'm just watching the show I'm uh [Music] [Applause] [Music] you know I get it strangely enough I could watch you do that for a while if you want but I do like that right yeah thanks yeah yeah it's good I don't think it would fit you no it wouldn't fit me I've got big sausagey fingers even my pinky is a bit sausagey it's like I've got two pounds of sausages how's that working out for you some girls like it yeah I'm Danish actually all right like bacon yes like bacon I I thought oh must ask her if you like using Danish like bacon Danish do like bacon actually yes I like bacon crispy or am I think you have Canadian bacon I think there's something in a Canadian bacon and you know what kind of bacon I'm talking about sweater guys what is Canadian Bacon's like a ham right Canadian bacon doesn't have any fat in it hey um no are you a fan of cheeses um I used to I used to eat I don't eat cheese anymore but I just like to be around people that eating [Laughter] if your husband to be his French you're going to be around cheese it's gonna happen yes I mean people live like there's other people that I know that like cheese I'll enjoy a hard use every now and again all right look what I did I spilled water on my shirt right there classy yeah [Applause] I do that yeah it's fine in Australia we say that's a very Bogan thing to do yeah bogan's Lake Australian for redneck isn't it yeah yeah so you might like spill things on you you might have like 18 kids you might be a Bogan if you yeah I get it out oh there you go I'm sorry I'm rid of me would you like me to unwrap it no it's okay so do you want me to move this it might be safer though to keep the wrapping on that was chicken [Applause] no you it's not the same with a wrapping on I know it's safer but it's just not the same but let's just do an awkward pause of a quick mouth organ what do you prefer okay um uh the awkward pause is pretty yeah it's always a safe bet [Music] um you start today [Music] put your Stitch God it goes on doesn't he thanks very much I think the vehicle Stone one side the hair and once they bring on the other I know very clever I like the symmetics look at them in all your tattoos and places that really hurt are you into pain hold on a second are you into pain yeah I will admit this whenever I get a tattoo it kind of do I kind of do like it you know I kind of do too except when I got it here that was here like oh yeah like that right that that no there's okay but just when it keeps in your uh creeped up too high well I was like you let it creep up too high yeah tattoos I don't really have any picture tattoos I usually quote it up and I had to get myself to stop because I always go to this website to get these quotes and if I would have kept going I really would be a quote book on my whole body I put too many quotes on me because that's all right I just gotta make you you're pretty interesting anyway I mean uh but but like you know you you people could read you literally you can start a story and then if you like someone you can say do you want to see chapter two [Applause] what's going on yeah hello how you doing oh I'm doing pretty good what's my what's like me oh I know where you are I've always known say Let's uh let's cut right to chapter four shall we [Applause] let's try and pick you up by saying they have their own rap you know what have my own raft I have a raft and an outboard motor and I live at home with my mother oh oh no that's no you don't but the Wrath line isn't great either I think it is you think you would go out if a lady well it doesn't if I said to you I have my own raft yeah you'd go out with me yeah because I think you're crazy and we'll probably have sex on the first night she's so beautiful she's very beautiful she was here she's like 70 years old still beautiful did she give you the like the tingles when you saw her no I asked but she wouldn't do it I I'm always kind of uncomfortable with the idea that what I do here is an interview I mean I clearly it's not no no no it's the thing when you come out you're like what are we going to talk about and it's like I don't sex yeah yeah yeah sex and raps sex and rafting yeah that's the [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Nate Skate

Views: 2,843,861

Keywords: Craig Ferguson, compilation, fan made

Id: 16HwMqjkZdA

Length: 19min 34sec (1174 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 11 2017