Couples Therapy With Dr. Drew - Frenemies #7

welcome everybody to frenemies we're back again and this is the halloween extravaganza the finale the finale the fourth week running it culminated in us dressing as each other who would have guessed everybody on the internet but i gotta say i'm really enjoying having these big juicy knockers you look really good you look like me like you look we look like each other and i cried a little this morning when i realized i was like wow we really have the same body type the fact that my dress fits you is like making me sad well it kind of doesn't really it's more like a shirt but i guess you were kind of naked when you wore it yeah yeah i always have my ass out too your mustache is falling out it is well because someone uses my glam team and i have to get up at 6am to do this so it's been honored for four hours yes because i've had this before a.m i had to film videos i ate i did tick tocks but you would have done put it on at that time anyway because you're like all tick tock upset no i do it right before but you get the glam priority before me by coming on the show and so then i have to just sit around and the stuff kind of falls off yeah well i am the priority i know trust me i know everything is on your time they said you got up late so then i want to go get food and then like everyone's ready and you were late you were like super late because you got up late he's like he's not even up yet what you weren't um we're you're always here at 11 30. dr drew he's by the way dr drew's with us today i'm so excited he's with us he was with us since 12 which is when we usually start and you've kept this poor doctor yeah a doctor's time is so valuable in this world you've got a blade i know i was sitting here ready who told you i got up late the i'm right our makeup artist she's like she's not for business yes it is because i was gonna come early i'm on time oh my god so don't worry we begin shall we begin i'm so excited i'm seeing a lot of here sorry sorry go ahead i think i'm seeing a lot of room for improvement i'm so nervous is this like real is this comedic this is real okay here's what we're gonna do today first of all dr drew the acclaimed doctor is with us today dr drew after dark on your mom's house he also has a daily stream show on youtube and pretty much everywhere he today is going to be our marriage counselor our couple's therapy counselor because as you guys know we've been through a lot of drama there's been lots of fights and i thought it would be good to have fresh eyes professionalized to go over our history of friendship together and kind of help mediate our feelings right i'm so down i love dr drew you have told me my entire life to go on dr joe because i have like everything wrong with me i have my vvt i have my trans issues i have eating disorders i have sex addiction i have everything that everyone's like you should go to i'll feel problems i'm done i can be on every show calm down okay so you know what's funny we were talking before you arrived that um we want to do personality tests okay and a future episode oh you can do like associate a narcissist personality test oh i'm not that well we'll find out i'm too empathetic for that i know all of the like i don't know all but i go to a lot of therapists like dr drew what do you think about this situation so far a couple of observations uh interesting how you play with that hair all the time that's interesting that is a distinctly feminine trait i'll tell you why before you try to make any uh psychoanalysis of it it's just it's in my face right so i'm i'm trying to just get it out right i i understand dr freud that sometimes a cigar is just a good smoke but i'm just saying that perhaps there's someone else do you notice anything about trisha so hold on and i what i love about you guys is that you're you're playing with gender which is really very much topic of the day you know it's very top of mind topic for a lot of people uh let me just there's some things i want to say about your interaction but first of all i want to know how it feels to adopt another gender trish how does that feel what's it like well obviously last year one of the reasons they came for me was they i i had issues thinking you came for me saying i wasn't transgender oh well he yeah the point of all this is is like last year well not just last year my whole life i've had gender identity issues i've gone to a really good therapist he's in west hollywood he's amazing he specializes in gender identity and stuff like that and like i've always always struggled with it i've oh like i thought i was trans but i never wanted to do surgeries to you know be to transition but um yeah like this to me this feels comfortable like i love being a guy like not not just a guy but just not having to be the female body not going out and being like scared like people are gonna follow me and [ __ ] and so yeah yeah so it's interesting so so um i don't i don't know you well and i don't know whether there's gender issues it's kind of interesting that that here you are playing around with it um but women like yourself that sort of um accessorize their femininity like exaggerated a little bit sometimes you can look at that as a female female cross-dresser does that make sense yes 100 percent like that's the gender expression is excessively female and what you're saying is now i'm not sure if that's me do you also have other kinds of uh identity questions is it just gender yeah so generally identity is kind of not not really clear okay so interesting so we're playing around with that stuff today isn't you i feel like i'm surprised how great these titties feel all right right like i could get down some people there is such a thing as getting really um excited by taking on a female uh exterior you're saying like i would have a like a like a boner i don't have a bone okay i haven't been able to yet he loves dressing as females he's been doing girl makeup this whole time you are super upset that i come on here and look better than you every single time first of all i'm not upset i just know you really are into it you love the nails you love doing the makeup i like i like when i'm doing the costume i like to go all out and i have a theory dr drew that part of the reason we've been fighting is because you're upset that every week we come out here i look way better than you and by the way all the comments say ethan doubted trisha again and part of her identity is like i'm she even said in a previous episode i'm the girl who does the hair and makeup i this is my whole thing and when i come out here looking like this she gets upset and well she did come in the room saying she's upset that you're the shirt fits you she's upset your makeup looks good she was very clear about that no he uses my hair and makeup people because they couldn't find their own i gave them so many people and they're like we don't have anyone so finally i said here use mine i gave them that and they go after me every single time so i come on here looking like [ __ ] can i go after you oh after me they come to me at 5 30 in the morning you've never mentioned that i always said it okay so that's it but you owe it you do your stuff at that time anyway because we shoot earlier we always shoot at nine anyways i'm not upset i if i was upset i wouldn't have given my hair makeup people i would have been like oh here just use some shitty people that you already use for your teddy fresh or whatever and that's not the case they use my bomb ass glam team isn't it make our show better when i look good yeah i'm not mad that's why i gave you them that's why i gave you my accessories and my wigs and everything this is her by the way this is what was that what was that sigh all about you're a sign i'm exhausted every day every week dr drew i don't think the show is good for my mental health to be honest come on every week oh my god my session's coming out every week we go through fights it's the craziest most like okay you know what let's let's let's just okay let's here's what i want i love him too like i honestly look at him as like somebody i've known forever like i feel like he's my best friend like it's weird we have this weird like soul connection but also he like irritates the [ __ ] out of me i don't get it well there's there's something about your interaction that you can immediately change which is the blaming oh right you blame each other for everything and every every statement begins with you and that finger point you you you you're just why don't you use it i'm gonna bug you i'm gonna bug you for the next however long we're together to start with as opposed to you i've noticed okay i've noticed okay i've noticed everything's about you i've noticed he's an [ __ ] it's definitely worse that's more passive aggressive i don't like it okay here's what i wanted sometimes before we get stuck too much on this let's go through the chronology of our relationship okay we first were interacted when i made a video here ian pull up uh the thumbnail first of all i made a video called instagram vs reality which is you know on instagram people put on these makeup and photoshop and filter and they look so much different than than how they look in real life and so here was the thumbnail of trisha i put her in the thumbnail and then here before we talk about it hold up pull up the time stamp uh the next time step but we can watch that together yes this girl is the spokesman of instagram reality why do you why are you even a model if you're gonna modify your looks that much it's like from beauty queen to wwf wrestler you cannot photoshop your heart and soul remember that this girl tried to use a face filter on instagram and her phone blew up there's another one of her oh my god ah she is the best isn't she not the best would people even recognize her if they saw her on the street i mean she is unrecognizable this is coachella versus throwing down in the mcdonald's parking lot at 3am this is coachella versus world star hip-hop no that cannot be the same person dude coachella versus open casket funeral oh damn tan is looking like stop and stop it okay oh my gosh so amber so i didn't know her at all i didn't even know her name and then i did that you're one of those people on the internet my man wait me no no he is oh but feeling free to attack people he doesn't know exactly wait what do you mean one of those people of those people that i've i'm swatting off every day that doesn't doesn't understand that people that are out there on the internet are actually people exactly and can i just tell you too for the record he took that that side by side i posted on instagram and i said i'm both i purposely took myself looking ugly like dr not ugly but just like ask myself like before i go to bed and the other one was maui on a photo shoot with fabio like those were exact two different things and i posted it myself with the caption like hey i can be both like that's the thing that was my caption my everything and he turned it as like wow they're really tricking us guys and i was like but i posted that side by side and the most extraordinary thing about it is that she was on a photo shoot with show to shoot with fabio that's the part that's extraordinary okay can i can i so here's the deal it's just it's just a terrible place to begin a relationship if you ever apologize for that so let me just make a have you apologize for that yeah i think i did you did when you came on the show you definitely never apologized i will say that when you the fact that you pull you now that i know you you are very upfront about how you look without makeup and the whole process of being quote unquote beautiful and all that and so there are a lot of people who i think are deserving of the criticism because the whole theory of the video was like there's these i'm getting to a point is that there's these women on or i mean both genders who do this thing and it makes uh young impressionable people who are on instagram all day uh think that that's the beauty norm which is right point taken right yeah the the idealization through technology is not good for developing minds we all three agree on that right yeah yeah but so we have a common ground the point that i got wrong when talking about you is that you are very upfront about how you look without all that and so i was wrong trisha this is this is ethan offering an apology but it's not an apology it's him like it's true it is it is it is keep going ethan well i was wrong about you i think some of the people there are deserving of that criticism but now that i know you i what i don't think that you are a person who should so yeah i do apologize because i i do think that that that's not who you are because you're very forthcoming thank you and i accept the apology and i love it can i just say one other thing to stand up for the other girls in the video one being nikki before you i think that apology really moved you like yeah no even because you said you loved it you really do love it no i do like ethan like never apologizes and when he does it's like one time you've apologized to me and like okay that means a lot and it does i feel like i apologize readily when i'm wrong but i feel like he owes and i just say like i do appreciate it i love it but there's other women in that video that he owes apology to one being nikita dragon who's very forthcoming about her she's a transgender she's very upcoming about she showed a picture of her before when she hadn't gotten the surgeries versus a butt picture of her after but she's very open about that can you show that clip because i don't remember yeah and so you need to apologize to that like to all that well let's see let's see let's let's let's rewatch it's a big thing i'm afraid i'm going to interfere too much with the conflict with you between you guys the magic of the show is going to go no no we need help no you're doing great i could quit today you know what i mean like it's just one of those things i'm still irritated by stuff that happened last week i'm still irritated recently and it was like let's get into it we have to save that we have to save the relationship so let's get into it we'll get into that that's what's on your mind now we should start where you are but first let's watch this video okay yeah i want to see how let's see oh that's me making fun of myself girl apparently okay pause it pause deposit so like i mean that's her before that's before but like she's so it's so photoshopped no she transitioned into that i've seen akita in person she's surgery can you go back i want the whole scope of what i was saying that's her bbl off his roof but i don't like what she's doing but that's not right i'm ugly and fat okay you got to work with what you got here so this girl apparently is known on instagram for having like a being thick you know and my goodness just looking at this there's nothing real it actually breaks my heart you know because i know plenty of guys out there that would look at that girl on the left and be like boom you know what i mean what guys we put our dick in a meat grinder if it you know had a chance of feeling good little known fact is that so um i feel like it wasn't that offensive that was before her surgery and she's so open about getting surgery she's a trans spokesperson she's super open about it that's not fair to be like those are two different people it is two different people but i do feel like it's hurtful to young girls to see like a fat ass like that and be like why don't why isn't my body look like that dr drew yeah it's an issue right uh and and it's um something that uh it's not exclusive to instagram right i mean it's happening all over the place and uh i people are doing things to enhance themselves all the time it's it's my profession that's offering those services and then instagram just essentially uh previews what uh what's going to happen under the surgeon's knife yeah and but i also to that to that i say like they mean they're i mean i'm very open too about having like search i feel like as long as you're open i think the worst thing is when you're not open if girls just think like people look like that you know but i just i i you got it wrong like everyone's very open about their stuff so what was your intent patricia in getting all that in my surgeries yeah for yourself what was that um oh gosh well for me i always talk about this like it was just like a self-hatred thing like i just wanted to look skinny so i got liposuction i needed big boobs to look like girlier you know just like all this stuff that i thought i needed and i'm still unhappy and miserable and like right now i'm all depressed i'm like i should get more surgery and it's like it [ __ ] you up but i feel like i'm very open about it and i feel like a lot of those girls are too like their psychological like torment through going to positive surgery like it kind of [ __ ] you up and i feel like a lot of people are open about it now but then to have like a straight guy talking about it yeah he's talking about it's all i'm saying and and he sounded a little jealous too by the way yeah exactly that's the thing he's like i'm fat i don't photoshop it's like well like that's self-hatred into itself like you're self-deprecating yourself don't you think it's like a vicious cycle where you're like i want more surgery because i feel this way in that way and then but like it's it's this vicious cycle yes it is she said that yeah she said that it's i'm still exactly there she said that it does not fill the void no it's supposed to solve problems it doesn't solve the problems maybe it does for a few weeks but then it just becomes who you are and then you still hate yourself or whatever are you still you i don't apologize to okay nikita dragon or whatever her name is okay i'll take that again well tana i said she looked like a twinkie but she was wearing a yellow swimsuit you want to pull up the tana comment ian we can we could just close the case on that one drew you could tell me if i need to apologize or not on this one i'll let you decide all right all right i'm glad we have someone here that has a reason everything yeah so crazy well with you i generally am always right yeah you can just thank you i mean you know what i mean and by the way i'm generally in favor of apologizing for online access thank you i think it's i think it's you know it's the direction we need to be going i was saying in favor of apologizing right or what did you do yes yes if you've been excessive online it's okay to apologize yeah i mean that's well you don't think you've been accepted turn it out that's not where the apologies out you know what i'm saying okay wanted to mean something i guess yeah yeah all right here we go damn tana's looking pretty good these days oh i can't believe it's the same day she looks like a twinkie all right this apology warranted um the yellow outfit was the in a weird way that's making too much of nothing which is guess what photographs lie and if we don't know that by now uh then caveat emptor you know what i mean and and i think uh i don't know that woman i mean if you feel like you hurt her feelings you should apologize you don't want to hurt her i'd assume um but i don't think i've heard her feelings i think you just yeah i don't think she cares right so so i don't think it's a big deal yeah but there is something to be learned from that which is that photos live videos lie too but if we don't know that photos live by now let me ask you this if the joke is funny does it warrant the comment like she looks like a twinkie pretty funny observation pretty good maybe that's what softened it for me maybe good yeah okay good fantastic yeah and and because it was funny it landed good for you and she is like a naturally thin girl so like not to say she doesn't have issues but like calling me you said i look like i washed up on the ocean like that's like i'm a lot bigger you did so that's it's different she's obviously thin so it's like not that big of an insult calling someone who's right it's saying that she's looks perfect in this photo oh my god she's a human being well guess what she's a human being right yeah well if i did say you washed up on the ocean that was the one i felt bad about i guess is that i thought maybe it was mean okay not looking like a corpse no that was funny because you were laying there like this like come on i'm with him ethan was funny that was that was that was a hope you literally looked like you were of course okay i you know what i accept the apology so thank you for that let's not get out of ourselves here okay let's move it on to the next big drama we had uh is he's normally concerned with authenticity is that his big concern i need to be authentically myself okay so go ahead so the next big fight we had was uh when trisha made a video announcing that she is a transgender female to male now i now before i even talked about this she got a lot of flack from everybody on the internet was dog piling on trisha saying like that she's uh com what basically the criticism was that you're using trans issues to basically get attention for yourself in the making yeah so you lost on both sides right people who who are critical of trans issues and the trans allies both attacked you yeah well my my trans friends were supportive of me as was my therapist you know they were pretty supportive so i would say it was more actually the allies it's more like cis people being like [ __ ] this [ __ ] you know or a lot of like gay guys too but uh no i think trans people were wearing no a lot of people let's see let's see the video do you have a video there yeah we'll pull it up dude trans people were dead i could name three that were so supportive blair white la demi oh those are people you know exactly they know me yeah but they're just being nice i did a video and i don't know if it's still i think it is where i wanted to be referred to only as t because i didn't know i didn't i didn't feel like i identified as a girl now this seems like crazy and weird and shocking because now previously just to give context you've also made videos coming out as a what other you made videos coming out as like a cheese puff or some [ __ ] what was it well when i was like heavy on drugs i like would say i'm a chicken nugget which is clearly true came out as a chicken nugget this video i'm sober i'm on tour i'm like coherent the other ones my pupils everything's like i'm obviously [ __ ] up in those videos okay but regardless did make a video coming out as a chicken but it wasn't a sit-down one it wasn't like using personal thing yeah i mean i that's what i do i did online for a long time it's just so people didn't take her thing seriously and i understand that that i understood completely i get why people didn't it just hurts that in context but you can't really come out as a chicken nugget i didn't come out as a chicken nugget it was a spoken word poetry when i was [ __ ] up on meth and i was like hey today i woke up feeling like a [ __ ] chicken nugget y'all like that's what it was and i was like so [ __ ] up if you watch the video completely different than this video where i'm like sitting down like hey i have something like i want to say like this is like on my chest it's been on me for a while and there's been tons of videos of me talking about penis envy about me wanting to be a boy what not wanting to be trish like all this stuff and there's been multiple videos that i talked about this and expressed this and this one just i guess triggered people because everyone wanted to hate me last year including h3 nicotto pewdiepie everyone attacked me all these people so it's just with the year of hating trish last year so here's the deal with uh when people declare things on drugs everybody they're on drugs they're [ __ ] up but let's let's just leave it at that don't do not try to hold on to them what about people who are drunk and say things like no they're on drugs that's that's a mistake oh their true feelings coming out no that's the person on drugs now there may be some de-repression there may be some things coming out that they wouldn't otherwise speak but the way they speak and the way they speak about it is somebody on drugs so give them a chance if they've revealed something to come back around and talk about what's really going on and your brain isn't integrated your whole self isn't there when you're loaded so we're getting you're getting a pass from dr drew yeah but like if you watch if you pulled that video up it's so i'm saying the two things are not really related so the chicken nugget thing is fish on drugs and what i'm seeing here in this this video we're watching right now is something we talked about earlier is that your your identity is is you know not not fully crystallized right your identity generally and of course that kind of bleeds over into gender let's go ahead and continue the uh video ian you know that stuff like that but that's why i identify more as a gay man because i like guys but i also identify as a guy if that makes sense the thing that kind of like stops it is i do love which a lot of gay men do too i do love like glam and voluptuousness so in my head i feel like i'm a transgender female to male but also like a drag queen that's how that's kind of how i've like that is exactly right because that is exactly right she's a gay i identify as gay male drag queen that's that is exactly what that is and you don't exactly i think you're i think your construct is exactly correct uh whether or not that's your firm you know forever identity i don't know but that's what you're describing which is i don't really feel like a female but i feel like a female cross-dresser i like all the female stuff uh but i identify as sort of a gay men now the question is are you attracted to gay men so yeah the gay man would be would be attractive to gay men yeah i i dated um she's dating a straight man probably right now i am but i dated a gay man for two years i was very public you know so i i and i dated a gay man how did you guys navigate that how did you how does that work for him and that's i think a lot of people like i mean he would say this i'm asked this as just strictly curiosities are you saying like sexually like intimately yeah like well like what how did you it's a navigation right and so it's an interesting we're all like how'd you do that yeah well we were we were definitely friends i was like oh you're definitely gay and he's like he goes he goes well you know he goes but i am like i like you and i was like well i don't know so then we just started like hooking up within months into our friendship and then realizing that we're like oh we're like dating that's what we're doing and it was hard and that's the ultimate demise the internet was like he's obviously gay trish and the thing was is like my my energy and just like day to day i mean i've always dated feminine guys like i feel like i have just masculine energy by nature i'm usually like you know i but i don't i don't know like to say that a lot of people i'm like to me he said he was bi the other day i talked to him and he's like actually i just i just like who i like you know so it was never we did have like vaginal sex but it was a lot of yeah it was a lot of more uh you know pegging and penetration that stuff okay all right interesting you saw you back did you did you like that was that stuff you like doing that i love it yeah and even now with my like my only fans i i'm always the one to wear the strap on like with girl and girl stuff like i'm always the one doing the i just i just feel more powerful i feel more turned on that way interesting yeah interesting it's a lot to take in ethan you okay it's a lot to take in as she's dressed as me it started like this the image of your pegging and all this is just a little bit much well i love i like i've dressed as boys you know what cis boys look like you know before and i like it i love it i like you know i've done it multiple times and i don't know it feels it feels comfortable to me but so does sodas dressing as a female like a cis female dress is comfortable too so good okay so you be you right yeah thank you all right so but hang on a second i want to jump ahead of something that's on my mind before we look at more video real quick you said something's really bothering you from your last show or something yeah we're working we got to get that out and they open whatever that is i feel her feeling it it's bugging me so go ahead there's a lot to cover but okay first of all if we go we fast forward to um let me go there the walk out the walkout so basically there's a few key moments i think the the main one is when we go go ahead and show dr drew when we start talk when she says that i'm a pill addict start from here is that true it's not true okay actually i'll give you the context we were here and please don't interrupt me but you're okay let me hear your side first this is not where it started though earlier i i don't want to i don't i can't watch the so go back but what happened was that we're sitting back here hanging out off camera and i mentioned to her that back you know 10 years ago when i was living in israel and had a day and i was like in a dead-end office job for five years that i was taking pill like uh painkillers that was ten years ago i'm not currently taking how much how much i i honestly don't know i was getting high like on the weekends that's it i was taking pills on the weekends you're using it you're using opiates to get high on the weekends you weren't taking them you weren't strung out no i didn't take them when i was working so so trish that we we back in the hade you know the the sort of the center of the eye of the storm of the pharmaceutical opioid epidemic people were using a lot of opiates that weren't addicts now we would still call that a substance use disorder because you're you know illicitly using opiates to get high but i it's hard to call him a pill addict per se with just that history and and now you say you've been addicted now do you so do you really believe he was an addict or just he just was oh no i was you triggered something in me and i wanted to be a [ __ ] [ __ ] to him and so i said well you're a [ __ ] pill addict you're not perfect either so go ahead and play the clip i know he's not i know he's not okay good very good that's all the concept okay it's all good yeah i'll square as she says even though i did i turned out okay unfortunately just because you make money but you're way you're way crazier than me that's not true bro that's objectively you're you hide it more just like mikey who hides [ __ ] oh really gets brought to the circle i don't hide anything i literally don't you've literally just said how honest i am and you respect that about it but you hide the crazy is what i'm saying yeah you you care a lot i don't hide you do hi there i'm all out there with no [ __ ] eyebrows and everything you were into pills you never talk about that that you were a pill addict for a minute what yeah you said that you said you were really into pills and you don't talk about that why do i need to talk about that because that's being open that you're judging me for being crazy taking pills or whatever like i take pills or whatever but you've done it too and you're just not open about it i don't think that that is a defining characteristic of who i am i think that is a big thing that makes sense why because you're on medication now and there's no shame or judgment in it but like hey if you're going to shame me for being you should say hey i'm on meds i'm not shaming you for being off beds um that's what it sounds like you just call me crazy but here's my mom you know what you just did you're trying to see this is why you are such a dangerous person especially to be close with because you'll take something that i've told you and you'll take something that somebody told you in confidence and you'll use it you'll weaponize it against them that's not true that's what you just did and luckily for you i don't care and i'm okay with it but you go oh well you're i told you an anecdote about how i used to take like what's like tramadol back in israel when i was like bored in a dead-end job and you literally just weaponized that against me you called me crazy knowing my history and and also a little bit of context she's dating my brother-in-law because i was because i was like hey just so you know she does this okay can you hold that slow down slow down slow roll so first of all watching uncle fester attack you was a little weird that was a little much for me look good though right it was remarkable uh you sure you weren't a child star wasn't gary is it the is it the trauma that you see that makes you think i was a child star no no the actual actor who played uh uncle fester i believe was a child stuff oh really um i think so so check me on that dan check it out somebody somebody ian look look it up um but uh so that was harsh on both your sides right um trish here here's the thing uh it's really hard to be as open as trish is okay and you could argue that you're so open trish that you don't really kind of perceive boundaries normally if that makes sense is that is that true you knew you were being a [ __ ] hold on don't start with the used stuff stop it i'm wondering again that you knew you were being a [ __ ] [ __ ] here can i say like like hindsight i look back and i was like oh yeah that was [ __ ] up but ethan for all the shows i don't think we had any boundaries between us he calls me fat he tells me my boyfriend shouldn't be with me i shouldn't have kids and trisha can't do that she can't she can't really perceive boundaries it's just out there it's all open well you can do it but you can't expect her to magically know where to draw the line but can i also say he has no boundaries with me he can say whatever he wants about me the minute like he okay there was an issue this is a whole different issue but i had an issue with my boyfriend which is his brother-in-law with private dms he exposed all these private things so there's no boundaries when it comes to me as soon as i bring up something private with him then what triggered me was he's like whoa you're weaponizing oh my god you're being able to yeah i never watched when i say anything no no you told me i was weaponizing when all of a sudden i thought that was our relationship just saying whatever just everything's out in the open so i was like that's what i thought so she's confused it confuses her to not know where you're supposed to draw the line right now but don't you see why me now would never con never say anything like that to you in private i can see that but the same thing you read private text messages i sent only to you hold on hold on ethan ethan not saying things in private to her because of that does not make you an open person right you can't say i'm totally open about everything but i can't trust you so i'm not gonna i'm not okay you don't have to tell everybody everything but don't claim that you're wide open and telling everybody everything she's she's the one that's really wide open too much too much so right i agree i don't agree with that i've seen i've seen her naked she's way too wide open so he can call me crazy he can do all this stuff and it's fine like honestly because i have a lot of mental i went to a mental hospital last year like i have a lot of issues and so i but and calling me crazy talk about that word let's talk about the word how do you because because you keep it you feel it like it's a negative like a pejorative right because there's a way to own it like like the word addict or junkie just going to use it in comedy you can do that i use it we've called each other crazy so many times and then all of a sudden it was a problem not a trigger but then when you were like i'm open and i'm like oh are you and you're like saying i'm open i'm open so then i'm like well what about this and you brought up stuff about me in private so i thought it was okay to do it so the minute you say wow i can't believe you would do that i was like what are you talking about you just talking no there's there's things you've told me in private that i would never bring out that you've told me about certain things about your relationship with people about moses was really really personal and it's like it's really difficult it was not yes it was everybody said literally not public what are you guys talking about specifically the the the arm thing how did people get photos of it i didn't put that up you said it on the podcast that account was like now that it's out on the podcast i'm gonna post these photos my boyfriend got catfished by someone said something about an altercation we had that nobody knew ethan brought it up on the podcast that makes me look like i'm a domestic abuse like i'm a person that hits my partner and like that was on the opening we even said moses like stop cut it we're like don't put that in the thing what does he do he puts it in the [ __ ] thing it was never it was never [ __ ] public well maybe he shouldn't hit him i agree but that is something that is so [ __ ] personal that you said and we're like please edit it out it was a [ __ ] weak moment and our relationship will never get past that i even tell them that now everyone thinks i'm a [ __ ] like a man beater and [ __ ] like that because of you and it's fine it's like relationships it is ethan you are the one who said it and you're like you're the okay you did you said while he was here everything can be said and i'm like yeah because i thought that was our relationship so the minute i say something about your pill hold on before i said it i said i i was like how much of this can i read because i don't want to upset you and she said to me hey guys hey hey let's navigate these waters carefully or trisha is going to have another episode of walking home i just get like frustrated navigate carefully navigate carefully right take a breath so we don't want to get to the point we have another episode of walking i know i am fine for real it's frustrating when he's like no it's already out there when moses and i both know it wasn't i didn't know that's what he was going to say we have the ability to edit things out and he didn't just like the pill thing you could edit it out you guys are but this is a problem this is the problem of a show like this where you're you know you're playing with being totally out there with everything when there are a few things that maybe not and you guys got to be very clear can you both agree that at least attempt going forward that when there are things that should not go out you'll both agree these things don't go out or just edit it out let me say because you guys just left and it and it seemed like you were fine with it being open if you stayed and we're like cut can you cut that out i would have done that we did say we did ask you cut out you're like no we're leaving this in fine no i didn't say that fine yes you did you did say that you're like no we're not we watch it back you literally because that's what you said when i asked you don't show my personal finances and you did anyway well that was different okay okay fine we left we can't keep up with all this i'm trying to keep up but i understand why trisha is upset well hold on thank you and then we guess what i was okay with it because i'm like this is our relationship this is what makes the show good right you're exposing [ __ ] stop there stop with that so you see that's the that's the confusing part you've signed up for this and it just went and it went too far no but here's the thing i'm totally fine the minute i said something that went too far with ethan all of a sudden i he said you weaponize things this is the problem with you and i was like what the [ __ ] you've been doing this for me every time i've seen you that's all he does is expose private information about me which again i signed up for i'm i literally am okay i own up to so much awful things that i've done it's fine by me truly it's fine by me but the minute someone's like wow trish is crazy oh trisha did this it happened in my last relationship the minute i spoke up i was uncomfortable about a threesome all of a sudden it's like wow trish it was a joke wow okay you did that to david and jade like i'm the [ __ ] i'm the person that's the villain i'm the oh my god you went too far you weaponized this is why i'm scared for moses to be in a relationship with you it's like that's our banter that was my banter with my last relationship that's ours and i thought it was fine and then so my trigger wasn't that oh and i [ __ ] up like the pill thing yeah probably i should because if it really was as big a deal as we're making it was it that big a deal well clearly i didn't perform for you for you oh that that that that he had like a bruise on his arm no that she came out with the pill stuff no it was more i was more like shocked and surprised that she went okay okay so why did you then hit her with hey you're attacking me you're weaponizing this information because that's what triggered her because she already she does i mean you do that you you don't you don't okay so okay so fine so what is that wait wait wait so what is that trisha what's he talking about i guess he says that i oh like i've done exposed videos about my boyfriend's in the past where it's like when i'm hurt like i will do things like hurt people or whatever like that which so so okay so stop so that maybe is not okay right i agree i totally because you've never heard the phrase i don't know okay he's talking about my boyfriend wait i interject i know listen hold on that's a different issue but hurt people hurt people right of course you've heard that it's not of course you you can deal with it a little more productively no i go to i go to dbt classes and so i know my issue is okay um it's like a group therapy for electrical it's called dialectical behavioral therapy and it helps keep other people in mind when you want to do something because i have i have a really i can't control myself it's almost like i black out and like so when i when i get mad or upset or i felt and that was position i all of a sudden i started feeling like wow i'm being like looked at as the villain like i did something wrong okay so there's a lot here right yeah and she's and ethan she's doing something active about it she's actually getting treated yeah i know that makes me happy to hear so yeah so good so i think we can move past that a little bit because that shouldn't happen as much right i do have i do have a lot of empathy and sympathy for like the fact that sometimes you lose control and you get really emotional and you do and say things that you regret i do want to add that this whole event came after they are her and her boyfriend got into a fight and she already made a video about him accusing him of flirting with underage girls which she's since retracted it's totally different first of all it's totally different because that's something completely different than me having an altercation with who's my brother-in-law my wife's brother by the way someone i care about so so he's saying like i i made a video being like you know he flirted with fans whatever but that's a completely different thing that i already made public as opposed to an altercation like that's a completely different thing that nobody wanted out there and you put out there and then it went to the [ __ ] sort of thing of trisha's abuser and all this stuff which was not something that was out there so let's go so what ethan seems to appreciate is when you have something that becomes excessive you do something active in response to it so what what are you doing to help make sure that doesn't happen again is that part of the dbt therapy yeah and well yes i mean i go to i started that in may because let me ask you a harsh question when when people you know when they get into altercations that go that far oftentimes we advise that they just this isn't going to work is that the case with this relationship or are you both in it and working actively with professionals to help make sure it doesn't happen again yeah i'm working now on it and it's like a thing that's like super super sensitive because it's never i've never gone that far you know and i've gotten help for the past year because i had two mental hospital stays where i was put on a 5150 so like i go into these like cubes these states yeah like it's like a blackout where i'm like not that person yes and like that was the first time that happened so now that that's out there on the internet like everyone thinks that just me that i just like abuse people and it's like it's never been that far right so so let's be clear it's very much the same thing those blackouts or white out or red outs that people get when they hurt themselves and other people yeah and it needs to be treated you're treating it i mean that's the thing now now it's also a sign of like really heavy-duty childhood trauma so are you getting that treated too not so much yet i mean because i had my blackout moments where i woke up and i was like i didn't want to do that no no i get it i get it and so that's that's i don't want to do that i don't want to hurt anyone even in my relationship now i i am trying to like sabotage it to not make it last because i don't want to be harmful to anybody and i am i'm dangerous to myself i'm dangerous to other people and it's it's bad okay so stop so and so ethan can you see how when you say something like this is a weaponized you're attacking me that's that's tough territory for her right now you got it yeah no i understand okay yeah so so here's the deal um you have you're doing dbt do you do you have do you have any like uh peer support that kind of thing people can call when you start to ask okay so you're doing all the right stuff right you have a therapist you have a dbt group yeah you're got peer support i mean it's you know the fact that this happened from my perspective not so surprising given what you what you tell everybody about yourself yeah that's part of this whole syndrome and yes you have to be extremely careful you can't you have to five steps earlier you have to do something to make sure you don't get all the way to those dissociative states what we do that's what it is i mean what we do now and by the way by the way you're hanging in very very well with this whole episode we're all going through here you're not dissociating which is kind of remarkable right thank you i i feel like we have worked on it since i mean we i tell him like because he i used to tell him like hey let's stop talking about this and he took it as me just trying to control the situation but now if i say can we please stop talking about this like he does because i know that's when i get into that like blackout thing because that's what happened i was like can we just stop talking about and when we when he doesn't because he thinks i'm trying to control the conversation which i don't know you have to say you have to you need a code word you need some way of stopping it come back around later escalating and that's what we do and that's what it has been it's just one of those things that i've never gone that far where i just feel like i shouldn't be in a relationship i shouldn't you know not for a while that's all that that said all that negative self-talk i know that's part of the problem right and so and so ethan the good news is you and her relationship has never gone to those places right so she obviously trusts you no not quite not quite well no we had a really bad blowout on a few episodes ago where i think you were starting to disassociate and you left i walked out because he was pushing it once again he wouldn't let go we were 20 minutes past our thing and i'm like you know what i'm going to just i'm going to leave after this i'm going to leave it after this and he's like no let's resolve this i was trying i was trying to apologize but let me solve not right now not right now like i'm gonna just leave i'm just gonna leave and he would not end it so i that's when i walked out i didn't get angry i didn't yell at him i was like more embarrassed than anything and i just left and it was past our time of doing the show i stayed in there for the rest of it and i just left because that was what he was saying the weaponizing thing and i just i just i knew it was gonna like set me off and i already did and that's why i was being nasty about his wife and his kids and stuff like and i was like okay i need to like leave because i know it's gonna get even worse but i don't take that stuff personally because you know i understand can i have a hug by the way no not only now i don't think that's right i don't think that's the thing right now really not this time for a hug no i don't think so we might get there but we're not there and he's never hugged me ever once can i just say that so if you hug me now it's just in genuine to me really it's going to seem like ever because you never have any when you're dressed as one another it's actually yeah well then with a lack of not with in and uh and replacement of hugging you well no i seeing you like this i mean it it gives me a life insight yes i think ethan's saying i i see how tender this is i apologize where i've triggered it too far that's what she needs lots of right now yeah i understand well i was just you know no i i i mean i mean i i think it's just like i always feel bad like i always and i haven't apologized to you when i am i do i do feel bad when i attack like your wife and you're like you're like all that stuff like that i do feel bad right away like that's the worst thing about this is like i feel bad instantaneously i'm like [ __ ] i like what i'm i'm such a bad person like this is why i don't keep friends and he said in that same episode this this is why nobody wants to be with you and it's like that all there is like i know this stuff it's like i just can't control it right now i'm doing better at it but like i don't have friends i don't have relationships that last longer than year he knows that so by you saying that too it just like [ __ ] triggered it all over again because i know that's why i don't have friends i know that well and i feel bad instantaneously like i'm talking about them talk it's all good no i think i feel bad and i feel like i didn't it's hard i feel like people misun mis perceive you and misunderstand you i think people think that you're not self-aware or that you're just like this wrecking ball and that you kind of are just like this emotionless creature that just smashes everything up and you don't think twice about it yeah but it's clear to me now that that you are very aware of how you can be hurtful and and mess things up and that it does hurt you yeah and i and i understand about how i said you know at that time was maybe just hitting was hitting too hard and was was just too mean and it was something that that you are you know painfully aware of yeah um here's here's the deal you still have to have a show yeah i still have to have a show and you still have to conflict but i think you got to do a little more agreeing on the where the boundaries are you know and now you understand and once you trigger what's under all that can i ask you a question that i think is may come off as insensitive but i think it's okay and before you do i just want to say this would be a very different conversation were she not doing active professional interventions on all of this yeah she's doing the care she needs to do to make this better i am very proud of you that you're doing all that stuff i think that's great so what's your question is it not at least somewhat my place to worry that you know with all that with like you know the the the problems that you have that you're working on and that we all understand and um is it not inappropriate for me to worry about my brother-in-law being in a relationship with her oh oh i mean i don't know i don't want to know the details of what you know how bad it's gotten between them uh that's really his decision right i mean it's it's she is doing active interventions i i mean maybe he's naughty yes who is he yeah he's he's co-signing yeah he's here okay but uh but trish do you guys do anything together therapeutically um we have it um and it's more just because i do talk a lot about like um like childhood trauma that i don't talk about with anybody not on my youtube so i kind of just don't want them to know everything like because my parents a lot of my parents like my both my parents don't really know all of it so it's just like something i don't want him to know right now okay that's fine that's fine then he kind of he should see a therapist as well so he again because boundaries are really goofy you know he needs to get some clarity about that he needs to understand where his he's at and where you know what's you what's him you understand how that gets kind of blurry right yeah i mean he's yeah he should see somebody too and then and then you're gonna then proceed you know you're you treatment works guys that's the other issue with ethan like him being like should i be concerned i mean his brother-in-law is 43 you know what i mean 43 and yeah yeah no matt like the thing is is like the reality of the situation is like he's here with me every week like we're always together all the time it's like why and from the beginning even if it was a joke or not on the podcast he's like i don't approve of this uh they should tell us what they're doing and then i never said i didn't approve but the whole what happened was that he have to own this okay we did a show on the podcast called the bachelor which we've done before where we set up somebody and we have content you know the bachelor yeah so trisha was the bachelorette and they started hanging out trisha don't don't you're okay you're starting to sink on us you're welcome i'm really i'm okay i really there's just a lot happening with like the look and then you and then the guests and then all this right now no i know and don't don't don't let it depress you it's all good it's all good i'm not okay i feel good look what's sitting in front of you right stupid hang on stay in the moment okay here we go so finish up okay i just saw you singing there and i didn't want that to happen when she adjusts her blouse i was because there's fake nips here oh you have to blur that you're gonna have to blur that down i asked if she adjusted her dress it's like right above your nip right yeah yeah because you want to show as much cleavage as possible without the titty ethan also once told me i had the worst boob job ever so but that didn't offend you did it the thing is is like yes and no like that's our relationship i know you're joking it's like love i'm fine with you doing it but at the same time it is offensive so it's like when i say something like offensive like it's like whoa no no no you're i've you can tell me whatever you want it's just the pill thing that i found curious okay and now we're going to do the only time you guys need to be able to offend each other to do this [ __ ] and i love it like i love when people make jokes and i was okay with they're saying that dr drew if you recall i said you know i'm i'm fine i just find it curious you didn't say that you're like wow you're weaponizing right now this is what i'm concerned about moses like that in addition to all the other things i just said okay but anyway let's go back let's let's go back to when they started dating okay um they started dating and moses at first was saying he was just doing it for the show he thought it would be entertaining for the show okay this has all been said so i don't think i'm hurting anyone no you're fine and so i don't believe that necessarily but go ahead right you don't believe what he said or what i'm saying what he's that he said just doing it for the show he said that he's just what so anyway they they were started posting these pictures this happened over the course of a few weeks and every time we saw we see moses a lot it's my wife's brother and he says oh it's nothing it's nothing we're just hanging out yada yada and um this lash is all in my eye oh my god and what they put up with yeah it's crazy and and so he was being deceptive to us and so we didn't know what was happening and it's not that i disapproved it's just that we were having the show with trisha and seeing moses all the time and they were being deceptive to us and maybe they felt like they didn't want to be judged by us and all that and i get it but that was the reason why i never said i disapproved i just thought it was weird that you guys were like sneaking around and not telling us what was going on lying to us you say i disavowed this that's exactly what you said that's your quote exactly well i was probably you know being i don't know why it's not you can't just say oh that was a joke i have i have always actively said that i prove i don't have a problem i just don't like the deception but we were just about to date like what are we supposed to be like we're boyfriend girlfriend like well it was really moses's fault i don't blame you on that one moses was very disappointed bottom line why is it your concern even now you're like should i be confused if there was no show i wouldn't care right now we're doing a show and you're like she has a mental health authority we're doing a date show okay right now in this moment you just said should i be concerned for my brother-in-law because i have issues with my mental health you know what it's not it was insensitive and i think dr drew had a really good response that i agree with and it is moses's choice and i and i support his choice and and he has to keep up with you is what i'm saying he's got to be in his own treatment because yeah i mean you know because you're going to change and um you don't believe in therapy do you we're doing just fine he says they're doing just fine in response to does he believe in there interesting maybe a little allen on for moses what did you say maybe a little alanon what do you think christian a what an honor what is that i don't know what that is for it's for people that are involved with people that have used substances oh okay and and it's you know it's to get some support and get some clarity on what they're doing i don't think moses would ever do that no it doesn't sound like it okay let's not talk about him though and also for the record my parents also are not about you know what i mean my mom more so but like my dad's not about therapy so i had i go on these alone when i was like i you know i've had other issues with addiction and like i went on my own when i was in mental hospital i was on my own no one you know my mom came to see me but i didn't thank god thank god you're doing this yeah but i'm usually alone with it and that's why i'm like you know it's okay you know despite everything i've always wished the best for you and i really do love you as a friend yeah i feel like we have amazing chemistry and i see the goodness in you and i know that like you're always fighting to and to bring that out more than like when you get upset or you do this and that and the stuff you regret like that doesn't i've all i don't ever see that as who you are i know i know who you are and i love that person as a friend of mine okay thank you you're welcome pretty good yeah all right let's get back to the drama we still didn't solve what we're doing with the word crazy right we're using it or not using it because i think you're sure like this yeah i think this you kind of have to you have to own it and say you're using it because you need the you need craziness because that's what you're sort of creating here in the studio i love it a certain amount of craziness yeah and that didn't trigger me so when i said when he said i'm so open and so open i finally was just like but you're not because this is what you're not open about and then what the trigger was the weaponizing all of a sudden i'm the villain i know you got it he got it too which is the good news okay now let's face it this would you imagine ethan when you asked me to come here i don't know i i i think i was expecting it to be more light-hearted i guess but this show i was going to call you i was going to call you i told you yes i emailed yesterday today i think we should get on the phone because it it either it either doesn't work at all or it gets heavy that's what happens with this kind of thing and it's much better when it gets real i agree no i love talking i like talking about it i especially like talking like with someone who like understands it because i think the whole internet thinks i'm crazy i'm a liar i'm this i'm destructive and so like it's nice to just hear like at least you understand that there are people like me out there which is like oh i i sort of specialize in people like you i know you made a career you used to see a lot of folks like that you know but you know they did well you know yeah trisha gets a lot of [ __ ] on the internet from a lot of people and i think that it's important for more people to see you like this because i think that people really i think it's a really good insight to you as a vulnerable real feeling emotional person and not just like the wrecking ball that people think you are people just think you're a mess and that you just you know are destructive and this and you just do everything for attention well it's not unwarranted though like i understand why people think the things i do are for attention because i i have always been an attention seeker i've always needed attention more than most people so i get it i understand i said offensive things way in my past that will haunt me forever you know what i mean like it's like i get why people don't like me it's not like i'm not aware of it it's just more like how do i change the perception if i ever can i know i never will be able to fully change people always think i'm problematic or something you know what i mean like it's part of your brand but i do think it's great it's important to see but you know that you're more than that i'm just self-aware and i i know it's not unwarranted i'm not trying to be like i'm like there's not everything wrong with me like i know i do stuff that's problematic but that was when i was in my 20s you know i'm 32 and i'm trying to like do better and stuff but it's it's you know so we've named a lot of the stuff that you've been dealing with do you give a name to the overall syndrome that you're dealing with or do you talk about that no well here's the other thing i mean not to make this all about my therapist there was another drama so the other thing was is i i don't my therapist that i talk to he i ask him straight up i'm like on my borderline and my bipolar like in my schizo like there's you know all these things and he's like well you have traits of a lot of things so i can't really say it's one you know you're you're definitely bipolar i've been on medication to treat bipolar um because but there's also so my my my scandal everyone hated me for this year and it's still something that like triggers me in a really dark deep way and i talk with my boyfriend about it because only people close to me see it is is the disassociative identity disorder which i've talked about before and i saw a video about it on youtube so i made a reply being like i think i might have traits of this like this sounds like something that i do and everybody came for me it's like trisha just wants attention she's making a mockery out of it and the original initial video was very sincere and the minute people thought i was making a mockery of it then i was like okay let me make a mockery of this and let me just disassociate where i'm like all of a sudden like i'm a little baby whatever people wanted to see i just i made a mockery of it because i was like trying to say it in a very authentic way like this is what's happening and i don't go into characters or whatever you know whatever that happens to other people it doesn't happen with me but when i do go off on people it's literally like a different person any boyfriend of mine my last boyfriend jason my boyfriend now will say it's a different person like it's and i don't know who it is and like when i said that everyone's like [ __ ] you trisha for using mental health that's like getting attention and stuff and it was literally just a reply to someone's video i totally agree with you in that one the amount of [ __ ] you got for that was [ __ ] up because whether you actually have that or not i mean who knows i mean you you you could say better but it's hard i know it's hard difficult sometimes to diagnose specific mental disorders but like the amount of [ __ ] people gave you was so messed up especially considering it's like i think we can all agree that you're trying to define some kind of issue that you have well let me let me help sort of refine it because she has told us that the person who's seeing her says she doesn't have a diagnosable personality disorder as yet but she has traits of certain personality disorders right and when you talk about the dissociating which you mentioned earlier you were suicidal in a dissociative state right that that's sort of more consistent with the borderline stuff as well as the rages and the in the inability to control yourself in certain times that's all sort of borderline stuff and the dbt is designed to treat that yeah right so you're into you're in a good therapy for that whether or not you have dissociative identity disorder you know people argue about whether that even exists sometimes just people see that as severe borderline a borderlines can present differently to different people and differently in different mood states and you're aware you're doing that right and the idea you know hopefully in therapy is you sort of integrate all those parts so they don't come apart when you have really intense feelings make sense yeah that maybe it makes sense to me and that's yeah yeah and my therapist had told me the same thing he's he's one that doesn't necessarily believe in like the disassociative of like going into different altars you know because i don't i've seen some crazy stuff and you don't have anything like that yeah yeah right so i think that's why people are like no and so when people said no then i did troll and make a video where i started going into altars if that's what people wanted to see but it was clearly a troll people were upset that i you know did that and i get that i get it i get the upset with that but that mean it triggered from people being like you don't have this you don't have this meanwhile everyone's saying you're crazy you have this you have everyone diagnosing me it's like well can i ask you a question yeah when you make a video like that or the trans reader or whatever you get a lot of attention you're you're an attention seeker but you get you usually it you usually get a lot of negative attention do you see a difference between negative and positive attention yeah that's what i was saying it's like my trans video and my did video were never to be negative they were never to get negative attention and i got my last one where i willingly seeked out negative attention was like when trump ran the first time i was like hey i'm a trump supporter i'm not and that's when i was like oh i'm gonna be and i loved getting negative attention back then that was when six four years ago so it was like i haven't done a negative attention seeking video sense because you know why people try and kill me there's like stalkers that come to my house and it scared me and i didn't want to do that anymore and so so is it possibly that you you can accept negative attention when it's not something that really represents you but when it's about something you're trying to be honest about then that's really upsetting when you get that negative attack i don't like negative attention period i used to like it and i use it but i don't need attention anymore i don't make my money off youtube you know i don't make my money can i i don't think let's let's drill in a little further ethan for some reason this sounds like something important to you i don't think you're quite getting it across i don't think trish is quite answering it so what is it you actually want to know ethan like when you seeking attention are you because are you literally curious can she tell the difference between negative and positive sometimes it feels just curious you're just curious of your problems is that you seek attention and sometimes you don't care if it's or maybe you can't distinguish if it's good or bad or if it's going to result in good or bad i distinguish it but once last time i was like looking for negative attention well i don't know but i'm just saying you keep having these issues it results from like the d.i.d and the transiting resulting from not people like you but people saying well you said you were a chicken nugget seven years ago when you had a meth problem it's like that's why because they can't take it seriously from them can i also add i know the difference though those are usually your most popular videos too um yeah and like i said the trans one i like immediately regret it i apologize the next day i have an apology video i'm so sorry i said this like that's not what i meant okay you guys are talking kind of a past each other so so trish when i met you you were very proud of some of your negative stuff well that that that's kind of stayed with me i noticed that i think that's what ethan's sort of interested in what you know and and what i would what i'm wondering shall i say that even i'm wondering what i'm wondering yeah i'll never get there but i know i'm up there what i'm wondering is if you can own some of the stuff some part of what brings on the negativity oftentimes you ever heard of traumatic reenactments no i don't think okay okay so there's a crazy thing we do as human beings if we were traumatized in childhood we drift into relationships and circumstances where we recreate the same thing that was so upsetting to us as a child so you might look at some of these negative interactions to see if there's something you're attracted to which it's all about attraction from the trauma you get attracted to that that you can watch out for that sets you up to re-traumatize yourself and get all that negative attention that's all i'm saying yeah like publicly you mean if that's what if you want to change it i mean he's been sort of wondering if you want to change it i think behind that he's wondering do you really want all that negative attention yeah but then he's he but then he's ambivalent because he wants you to get a lot of attention and it's always a negative attention but here's the thing i'm kind of just like numb to it you know i'm i'm i'm you i'm just like so used to just people hating me anyways and i know what i'm doing for myself and like who i am so i think it's kind of one of those things so i yeah i think i i i want to change it ideally i would ideally like southern ideally i wouldn't like people to hate me but i know that's just literally going to be whatever i do is going to be problematic even if it's something so small like me liking my chemical romance this year all the emails were like [ __ ] you for liking this or like theater kids they tweet lemon while miranda and say oh [ __ ] her for liking hamilton like people just don't like me for whatever i do they don't want you in their club yeah there's one more thing i want to uh address before we wrap it up here i know you're on a deadline pull up this clip here uh from our latest episode i believe this was our very last episode when we so when we address i wouldn't predict you two to be friends you know that really yeah no i i know what you mean but like so and i admire that you are i like that sir he's like my best friend he's like a cancer what would you say about me my best friend smash and shane's a cancer and they're very likely i think i need to see you guys in the wild like have coffee with you sometime or something and see what really is going on here i know maybe we don't see each other in the wild this is it yeah yeah okay pull up this clip from our last episode go ahead whenever you're ready ian unless you're at the bathroom hold on let me adjust my titties as um do you it's pretty fun right it's pretty fun it's awesome it's a good time these feel pretty good you want to feel my no come on feel my teeth no boundaries feel my titties just go with the clothes are you working on this we gotta go okay okay you wow i was just like wow you know that seems like a low blow what you did okay but it's perfectly fine that what you did then exposing our personal stuff that i would never have said to anyone saying that i hit someone and left bruises on their arms it wasn't public that was never public no one said anything about it sorry i'm not getting this to be cute it literally just keeps getting in my eyes i swear no one thinks you look cute it's fine no i i don't i'm not trying to look cute it literally keeps the hair is the worst part um anyways i have a blast on so i'm not crying the um well yeah you know i have i have a lot to apologize for for sure no you did apologize yeah i am sorry i didn't like the way that the podcast ended i felt really bad i mean people said i would i mean people were more on your side than my side on that one saying that i shouldn't have gone for your family but i'm not i'm not apologizing you don't apologize for anything no so what do i call you thoughts that was uh her in another one of her states what was that all about yeah and i made a video following up the one they accidentally played before this was me apologizing literally the day that came out because i don't know i literally don't know anyone who knows this i'm like i don't know you're in a state you were in some sort of rigid state that you couldn't get out of it was awful and i felt so bad and i made an apology video the same day it came out i don't know why i was like that i tried to like i just was trying to be tough i guess i still felt like i'd attacked yeah i don't know what that was either but that does not seem consistent with who you want to be at least no and i issued an apology in the in the video after and um yeah i don't know i literally don't know who it was everyone in the comments like trisha so nasty it felt like it felt like literally remember that movie cocoon it felt like you were literally in one of those was that the feeling you had that's like you were in a go ahead yeah i mean it literally just feels like it's it's like on autopilot where i'm just like i don't even know what i'm saying like in the moment i literally feel like i shouldn't be doing this i sound like a [ __ ] this is not who i am and i just like yeah it's like you're like you're not even there you're just inside this chrysalis and then we're just talking to the outside of the cocoon and it's just repeating stuff over and over again so you know you're going to be there again well the good news is though that i'm here now if you have something to say i do i said it in the video did you were pulled it up i didn't well i'm here i don't need to watch another video i do i feel horrible i i do apologize for being so nasty like from the pill thing because i know how that feels and i apologize for not for trying to be tough and badass and talking about ela and everything i always feel bad like i feel bad about it when it's not a joking mode when it wasn't when you triggered me i felt bad when i was like good luck trying to get your wife pregnant like it was just a mean thing i don't know what it was and i'm sorry and i i i feel bad like that's not me thank you i feel like it would feel better for you to apologize and get it out of here because i know you don't mean it no i know no i felt bad it's just like in that moment i felt like i do forgive you okay thank you um was that gloria steinem who were you oh jeffree star gloria yeah jeffree star look him up okay okay i'm just so used to his dresses here jeffree star or well she's sitting here so it's awkward don't answer that don't answer that actually unprofessional stupid yeah but they changed i said my mic dropped off okay i'm back okay okay it's too much for me this is too much for you guys it's a lot well the good news is that we're done okay good it's a lot but it was a privilege it was a privilege i feel like we're ending this show on a better note than we've probably done i feel great i was very excited to have you here doctor no oh my god is it your husband will come one of these guys squeeze my titty no no no no one of these days would be hard one of these days yeah we didn't get into any of the physical boundary stuff that's way down the line yeah that's later all right so ethan aren't you glad you asked me yeah no i thought doctor i was going to call him and warn him i knew it i knew it was going to happen the world famous dr drew you can find him on dr drew after dark on your mom's house podcast as well as dr drew youtube channel where he does a daily show check him out he's uh he's a periscope facebook it's everywhere go doctor.com you can check it out doctor tv it's all everywhere it's everywhere god damn it just google dr drew yeah i'd love to have dr drew come back and administer some personality tests to us those are really fun but one thing at a time for him to do everybody though everybody yeah we have a whole crew it would be so fun to get all their personality test because you can do like narcissism you could do sociopath yeah yeah while we're waiting while we were waiting for trish i sent out a sos to the guy that uh i do these kinds of studies with to see what he can come up with and i'll let oh it's going to be fun yeah it's going to be silver yeah yeah i'm down all right well thank you guys everyone for joining this is our final uh halloween episode yeah so have a happy halloween everybody yay and um stay safe and pray that california doesn't burn down before the next time yeah that's our house are you ever going to take that wig off ethan you seem really into that hair he's doing it only feels good the other one was too was in my this yeah

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 794,693

Rating: 4.9332719 out of 5

Keywords: h3 podcast, h3h3 podcast, the h3 podcast, the h3h3 podcast, h3h3productions, h3h3, h3, ethan klein, hila klein, ethan and hila, ethan & hila, trisha paytas, dr drew, dr. drew, doctor drew, frenemies

Id: JnLGwc4wivw

Length: 71min 7sec (4267 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 27 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/dobriz]

It’s almost going to be weird when they aren’t in costume for the podcast

[u/BigStinkyBaIIs]

Can I ask an honest question?

Given all we know about Trish, that she ran away from home at 16, dropped out of school, became an escort as a teenager, gravitated towards older men, clings onto anyone that gives her love and can’t figure out her own identity, do people really not understand that she obviously had some severe childhood trauma that makes her act different? Do people genuinely think she’s just a wrecking ball for the views?

[u/I-dont-know-how-this]

Love or hate Trish, she poured her heart out. I really feel for her.

When Dr. Drew said she must have had some hardcore childhood trauma it really hit where a lot of this is coming from.

I'm glad Drew guided their conversation and made it a bit more productive.

[u/mrnicebuthole]

Dr. Drew shuts down Ethan a couple times lol

[u/lurpaq]

Frenemies is the best H3H3 has been in years and all of you asshole fanatics should listen to this episode.

[u/_otterr]

What the hell are they going to do after Halloween? The costumes are perfect!

[u/Kirosky]

It’s interesting to see people want to do an entertainment show like this when they clearly have so much baggage. It was kinda hard to watch Trisha cry honestly.. must be hard to reveal so much about yourself infront of thousands of people who you don’t know. Not that she isn’t used to that sort of thing lol..but I’m sure it doesn’t exactly make it any easier when you just keep pushing the threshold of your vulnerability farther and farther. I mean talking about how you struggle with a complex forms of identity, mental disorders, childhood traumas, heavy relationship issues, and so on.. I mean just damn. I don’t think I’d do even an inch of that. It’d take a lot out of somehow and probably feels so embarrassing to look back at those moments. You have to respect the fact she’s willing to be so open about her life just for our entertainment. But at least it’s sort of educational I mean; I’ve personally learned a lot from this episode.

It’s just a reminder that there’s always more to a person and we shouldn’t be so quick to judge which is just what feels so common on the internet these days.

[u/P---]

Dr Drew: "You're one of those people on the internet, my man."

Trisha: "Wait, me?!"

[u/thelastjeka]

Wow kind of intense episode.

To add, it felt genuine and I personally love dr drew. It helped humanize trish and I felt really empathic for her.