Cookie Clicker starts like bake one cookie then goes bake 10 quintilian cookies without clicking in 17 seconds start the apocalypse kill a reindeer it's too cute I can't do it I'm at the end stages of the game 91% of achievements complete I'm close to the final boss but to understand what I have to do next I have to explain what I've been through so far so let me take you on a journey through the most exciting strange heartbreaking and expensive video game story you've ever heard I started by clicking the big cookie and baking one cookie getting my first achievement the game gave me a mission bake 1 million cookies so I kept clicking and realized with 15 cookies I can buy an AI cursor that clicks the cookie automatically once every 10 seconds so I can stop now but I want a million so I clicked faster than accepting terms and conditions I haven't read until I unlocked the second building a nice Grandma to bake cookies for you I knew I could trust her then she said we will rise and I knew I couldn't trust her so I put her on my board of enemies then I had had more buildings to buy a farm to grow cookie plants a mine to hide the cookies underground so they aren't taxed 20 more curses to make my ears bed but I kept getting more achievements 83 cookies per second this is where I start needing upgrades I can buy tools for my buildings to make them more efficient like fertilizer for Farms drills for the mine and for the factory child labor it's strange that everything is bought with cookies it's also strange the grandmas are talking about world domination that's probably fine at this rate it'll take 166 hours to get 1 million cookies I need a new strategy but just as I was considering double child labor a new cookie appeared in front of my eyes a cookie made of gold instinctively I clicked it frenzy cookie production time 7 for 1 minute 7even times more cookies came rolling in I was baking more cookies than cookies I've accepted without knowing what that means and I reached 1 million cookies then immediately the game revealed a portal but to open it I need to feed the portal one trillion cookies to get that that many I need more obscure methods of baking cookies go dog bake me the cookies no that didn't work so to make me click even faster I contacted Trey a man whose family was murdered by a lowquality desk man he got me in contact with a group of real life artist we spent weeks designing a custom Dragon desk mat featuring Grandma Vera Morgan Ellis and many more characters all attacking me after a week of using this I can tell I'm clicking faster the tasteful thickness of it the quality of the print is amazing and decided to sell these desk mats to those of you who are early enough to this video for only a month after this video is uploaded you can buy this desk mat from epic desk and have me stare into your soul as you play it'll never be sold again or else Vera would gain too much power buy this detailed highquality deskmat from my link right now but then I discovered something unexpected one of my upgrades was a kitten meow may I help you I should have stoop playing right here but I have to know what's in the mysterious portal and the kitten offered to increase my cookies per second in return for milk but I don't have any milk oh when did that get there turns out each time I get an achievement milk accumulates beneath the cookie and the more milk I have the more work kittens will do for me more achievements more cookies the good news is there are 622 achievements so I can get a lot of extra cookies the bad news is there are 622 achievements and I now have to get 622 achievements so the next achievement I got was to give my bakery a name I named it after my first Grandma Vera and my fourth grandma and my 7th why are so many of them called Vera who on Earth is Vera well according to Google Maps Vera owns a wellness clinic in Queensland Australia so I sent her a heartfelt email telling her to [ __ ] off and let me bake cookies in peace we'll see if she responds with the kittens managing my farmers and miners I had enough cookies to buy the next few buildings first I built a factory to mass produce cookies but I got sued for paying my workers in cookies so I bought the bank and changed the local currency to cookies then claimed my cookie business was actually a religion so I don't have to pay pay taxes but it actually isn't a religion it's a cult and by watching this video you are part of it welcome please accept these terms and conditions at the top of the screen is a news ticker it tells me the important things happening in the world like your cookies have achieved sentience cookie Wizards spotted on Mars we will kill you Dragon wait what did that say I am going to Mars so I built a rocket ship and met a race of wizards that had magic that could heal sickness fly endlessly and speak with animals so I used their magic to bake more cookies I bought more ships to colonize other planets that I filled with bakeries farms and more wizard towers so I could reach my goal of one trillion cookies and then the portal opened it had a severe warning that I treated like terms and conditions and didn't read it and then the cookie broke there were glimpses of Vera of other people locked in an endless fight and then I reached the ascended plane this is a place that's in between the Universe I started in and the new universe I'm traveling to through the portal here I can buy upgrades with the Ascension points the more cookies I got in the last Universe the more points I have to spend there's a strange upgrade that I need 16 illion cookies to get so for now I bought something simpler a dragon egg and went on to the next Universe I am back to zero cookies so I started clicking buying curses and researching contract laws so I can get more child labor but now I can feed my dragon egg cookies millions of cookies it hatched and gives me an aura that increases kitten productivity by 5% 5% might not seem like much but soon you'll see me spending days of my life on 1% bonuses wait that's a spoiler I'll remove that part of the video but then this video is in I'm not qualified to edit this go dog fix my video whose dog is this as I bought more buildings I realized some of my grandma started changing farmer grandmas minor grandmas they're taking jobs in my factories did they even give me a resume can they even read those glasses are not in front of their eyes she can barely see then a mysterious upgrade appeared in the shop the big Bingo Center the Grandma's are planning something big to defeat them I'll need a strong weapon luckily I have a fire breathing dragon so I fed him 100 grandmas that should hold them off for a while but he grew increasingly hungry I will the the universe so I jammed 100 Farms down his throat and he unlocked a new Aura Reaper of fields this meant that the next Golden cookie gave me a new bath Dragon Harvest giving 15 times cookie production the Dragon flew across the Earth reaping The Souls of the wicked the wicked being those who have murdered someone cheated on a math test or aren't subscribed to Dragoon but bakon cookies on every planet in the universe is not enough to meet my dietary requirements I need to eat more so I got my kittens to invent time travel then I placed a dough at the beginning of time so that the Big Bang instantly cooked them then I used all the antimatter and light in the universe to make more cookies we can't see the cookies anymore but we can taste them I finally have one quad trillion cookies then the Grandma stole them all bought the Bingo Center and started conducting research with it I could have stopped now left them alone I didn't have to fight the grandmas but I'm Australian we love a good fight we picked a fight against an army of emu and lost so I'm picking a fight with the grandmas and Morgan and a dog with a cannon and jiv but that's a spoiler I'll edit it out oh wait the grandmas have already finished their research their weapon of mass destruction is chocolate chips oh maybe they just like cookies and everything is fine yeah the next invention was designer cocoa beans I think it's going to be okay their next upgrade was one mind we are one we are many either they want to be friends or they're an Alien Hive mind a pulled collection of Consciousness hellbent on ending my cookie clicking forever it's probably the first one it's probably the second one the background changed to disturbing imagery and a demonic creature flew towards my cookie and began eating it I killed the creature with my clicks giving me an achievement that told me it's called a wrinkler Vera is taking over my cookie and she never responded to my email she must be too old to use email I'll have to deliver this letter the oldfashioned way but this time instead of threatening her I'll be the bigger man and ask for peace I wrote down a detailed peace treaty I signed the treaty and placed it in an envelope addressed to Vera we'll see if she responds but in the meantime I need a faster way of baking cookies and that's when after 24 hours of playing Cookie Clicker a sugar lump that had been growing in the corner of the screen was ready to be harvested sugar lumps are like really tasty candy wait this video has no sponsor I can say what I like sugar lumps are like crack cocaine that also gives you the ability to fly I offered this sugar lump to the Wizards and they give me personal access to their spell book now I can cast my own spells to give me more cookies make upgrades cheaper summon a wrinkler but most importantly summon a random golden cookie I will refer to this spell as F because that's what it's called now I waited for a naturally spawning golden cookie to give me dragon Harvest then used fof for a second golden cookie which gave me the frenzy buff so I have a 15 times cookie production from Dragon Harvest and seven times from frenzy stacking together for 105 times combo but after that I have to wait 40 minutes for my wizard Mana to regenerate so I decided to ascend again I have over a th000 Ascension points allowing me to buy more types of cookies before I was just making chocolate chip cookies but after the 87 billionth cookie you get a bit bored so I started Baking white chocolate cookies macarons lady fingers which is a strange name for a biscuit whose ladies fingers are we eating if you're a lady and your fingers look like this comment below and if you're not a lady with these fingers comment yes Dron I will buy your desk mat but that's a spoiler so I'll I'll delete that each new type of cookie gives a small bonus in CPS all bonuses stack so all these small percentages are currently giving me 7,000 more cookies per second making the grandmas grow even angrier sending more wrinklers at my cookie but I got a another golden cook wait that cookie is red the grandmas have taken over the Golden cookies all hope is lost I'll be lucky to make it out of this alive but turns out you can buy a luck and use that luck to create more cookies then use a mathematics machine to create even more cookies I'll assume you all cheated on your maths test so let me explain how maths can double your cookies let's say you have a cookie c and a math cookie M they are the same thing then this machine multiplies both of them by C leaving you with this if you sub subract M2 from both sides then divide both sides by c - M you're left with c - m = m or C = 2 m we have turned one cookie into two math cookies and therefore buying these math machines doubles our cookies per second if you didn't understand that join my school where I teach basic maths and how to get 100,000 subscribers point is I got one SE tilion cookies it's time to leave this universe and Ascend finally unlocking the hidden upgrade the season switcher Cookie Clicker has special events for holidays Easter Christmas Halloween Valentine's Day and April Fool's Day but I was playing in May where there are no events nothing happens in May if you have a birthday in May you don't really exist you should really wake up from your coma your kids are waiting for you anyway with this upgrade IA have the power to change the time of year inside the game for 100 trillion cookies I can manifest Christmas into existence the background becomes snowflakes and the wrinklers start wearing Santa hats most most importantly you unlock a festive test tube and as you put cookies into it you get to see in horrifyingly real time the lifespan of Santa Claus there isn't actually one single Santa Claus Santa Claus comes from a race of elves but as they grow older they're sent into gladiatorial combat slowly being killed one by one and the final Survivor is chosen as that generation Santa Claus then all the Santa Clauses from the different universes meet for a final battle in chess the winner becomes the true final clause who sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake he knows you haven't drunk enough water today so I put him on my board of enemies also I get a ton of Christmas upgrades that boost my cookies per second and this is where the reindeers come into the game Christmas reindeers Frolic across your screen with a cheerful smile but you know in your heart that they are made out of cookies and popping them will give you cookies giving you an achievement oh dear pop one reindeer then you realize that this implies there is a reward for popping more than one I went on a fueled Rampage with epic Christmas music in the background and eventually I popped 50 reindeer for the achievement giving me slightly more milk and slightly more kitten cookies then I moved on to the other Seasons Valentine's Day gives you seven heart-shaped cookies to buy April fools renames all of your buildings the wizard towers become memes the Grandma's ovens and the mines are secret recipes the secret ingredient is child labor Halloween has seven spooky candies you get from killing the wrinklers and Easter gets you to go on an egg hunt any golden cookie or wrinkler can drop an egg that gives Buffs ranging from 1% CPS to more golden cookies to 9 CPS yes nine there are 20 eggs in total and every time you get one it gets rarer and rarer I was stuck on 19 out of 20 for over 200 wrinklers straight it was maddening but after I had all the Buffs from all the seasons I had a multiplier of 600,000 per. I've also gotten more kitten workers they went from just helping me to working for me to becoming my engineers and overseeing the whole operation to become even more more worth it to get achievements so I started getting all the strange ones shrink the game window to dunk the cookie and milk click this achievement to get it click the new sticker 50 times and ignore the reports of world hunger sell Grandma this gave me enough cookies to buy the next building the JavaScript console Cookie Clicker is written in Java this building allows you to rewrite the code of the game itself to bake more cookies which is where we need to talk about cheating there are three ways to play Cookie Clicker vanilla scumbag and bowling vanilla is all in the game the true experience where you don't do anything else I'm about to say ban is where you press F12 open up the game console and write game. cookies equals a [ __ ] ton and you instantly get infinity cookies and win the game or just press ruin the fun and unlock everything that will be in this entire video well most things and the in between category is for scumbags save scumming is a method of saving the game then testing an RNG outcome if you didn't like it reload your game and do it again until you get what you wanted I believe this is a crime worse than murder but not as bad as not being subscribed I've been playing vanilla the JavaScript console didn't help me much and the grandmas were getting angrier or are they just melting you could say that constantly leaving the universe is running away from your problems but this problems in the new universe as well it doesn't really matter which way I run it's all problems also every time I Ascend I lose all my seasonal upgrades I have to watch Santa grow up again I have to get all those eggs again if I want my precious plus n CPS I've been playing playing for 48 hours now no not straight I slept for over an hour but I have my second sugar lump I offered it to my farmers and they let me personalize a small garden I have a wheat seed that gives me 1% bonus CPS and when I let two of them grow a corn plant had mutated from the wheat then I planted two corn next to each other and they grew into a guild Millet I had three out of the 34 seeds in the game Legends speak of a plant that is capable of destroying the grandmas and by Legends I mean people in the cookie clicker Discord server they don't like me very much they I don't play Cookie Clicker properly but I see nothing wrong with this setup click faster dog over the next few weeks I would grind cookies into the septian even octillion and day by day I gave more sugar lumps to the farmers until I had a fully expanded Garden to grow more plants I kept mutating them to get new varieties using the simple technique of following this insane flowchart special mentions include the golden Clover which has a 1 in 1,400 chance of growing ever daisies which when you do get them take 12 real New Life hours to grow and the juicy queen beat after a week of gardening I had 33 out of 34 seeds 3 weeks later I still had 33 out of 34 seeds when I eventually finally got the juicy queen beat I was told that I now had to delete all of my garden progress for an achievement clicking this button was the single most painful gaming experience I've ever had and so it goes on my enemy board and those sources that told me there was a plant to defeat the grandmas they actually meant that to defeat the grand I have to get every achievement in the game the Grandma's true weakness is actually their allergy to cats and if I get more milk enough kittens will rise up to defeat the grandmothers so all of this was necessary although I had an idea jumping universes doesn't stop the grandmas they just follow me but even though I'm already baking cookies in multiple universes in all timelines I haven't explored other dimensions the next building is an idol verse think of the starting Universe here and each Ascension I'm hopping into a new universe dimensions are sets of universes parallel to the current Universe path I need to distract the grandmas while I leave this Dimension so I started a rra battle with them and left as they were thinking of a rhyme I've made it to safety but I'm a lot poorer in this Dimension I need a way to make cash fast with no risk of losing it so I'm ready to gamble my life savings in the stock market throughout all the universes I now own a few rival companies have come up trying to sell products that aren't cookies it's my job to remind them that I am too big to fail and too big to let anyone else seed and too big to only eat one ocan cookies for breakfast there's hundreds of pages of technical analysis to optimize your cookie trading strategy but mainly I bought low and sold high for 40 days straight until I got the hardest stock achievement gaseous assets for making $ 31 million you'll notice this achievement has a purple tag Shadow achievement do you remember when I said this game has 622 achievements there are there's just also 17 secret shadow achievements that should not be attempted according to the creator of cookie clicker oril one of them is true neverclick where you have to restart the entire game and get to a million cookies without clicking it involves waiting for Golden cookies hoping you get the plus 13 lucky buff twice then getting the million 0.1 cookies at a time and if you're a masochist you can combine this with another achievement hardcore and do it without buying a single upgrade only a mentally unstable man would attempt to get the shadow achievements so after I got them I was officially 100 days into my playthrough I thought I should celebrate and get cookie clicker out of my mind for a while so I begged some cookies I looked through the list of types of cookies to make I thought about my enemies I thought about my dedication to making spoiler-free content I thought about my limited edition highquality artistic genius deskman but I got distracted looking at Vera and accidentally made lady fingers I'm going to carry these around with me and keep searching for ladies that have fingers that look like this but first I have to deal with a big issue I only have 10 non million cookies it may seem like a lot could even last you a full weekend but the achievements for cookies go far onward and I need them all so I bought the next building a cortex Baker it turns out each line of universes is created by an ancient entity called a cortex Baker basically a God but even Gods can't resist the alluring bite of a chocolate chip cookie I started paying them in cookies to change the laws of physics so that the ingredients for a chocolate chip cookie were now hared doubling my cookies per second but to get even more cookies I've kept leveling my pet dragon this entire time and he's unlocked a new bar instead of dragon Harvest which gives times 15 cookies I have dragon flight which gives 1,111 times cookies now that I have over 400 wizard towers I have enough Mana to cast for Toof twice in a row so my basic strategy is to wait until the natural golden cookie gives me dragon flight then cast for Toof twice and pray to the cortex Bakers the RNG gives me frenzy and clicker frenzy giving me 43 million more more cookies for 10 seconds but actually there's a way to increase that by another 1,000% I gave a sugar lump to my priests in the temple and they let me choose which religion to follow I was always a fan of the Mayans they would sacrifice a person to the Sun every day to make sure the Sun would rise the next morning we still haven't proven that that doesn't work I think we should keep doing it just in case so I chose a religion that makes you sacrifice your buildings to it for more cookie Buffs I am now almost halfway through the game I just have to oh God damn it the grandmother back I kept going through more universes and more dimensions and getting more ascended upgrades until I discovered A New Path Unshackled curses Unshackled grandmas Unshackled Farms as it turns out all of my buildings were still being Shackled by their own inner thoughts and limiting beliefs ruled by their ego so I gave them therapy it worked but slowly so instead I gave them magic mushrooms drove them to Ego death and now they operate with pure efficiency no friction of thought whatsoever finally unlocking the final building me I have ascended to the point where I can buy other versions of myself they have their own extended universes and dimensions of cookies together we can bake even more cookies but we each have a hoorde of grandmas chasing after us so we have to act quickly I am ready for the final Sprint to the maximum amount of cookies in the game one Trevor gentian the combo requires some setup firstly in the garden I can plant golden clovers which increase the spawn rate of golden cookies making it easier to stack combo there is a lot of RNG but eventually I can get frenzy Dragon Harvest and a building special which is a buff that gives you a multiplayer based on how many buildings you own I had all three at the same time then I change my dragon Aura to Dragon flight and while I wait for the next natural cookie cast for to twice then I can refill my Mana with a sugar lump and cast for to two more times so I have three active Buffs and five golden cookies on the screen hoping that they give me dragon flight and clicker frenzy then if I get the insane RNG to do all of that I go into three different forms of debt freeze my garden activate Ascension Buffs sacrifice thousands of buildings to the Sun God then change religion to the cow God then click as fast as my hands will allow me do all of that in under 5 seconds so the Buffs don't run out and you will get millions of years worth of cookies it took me days to finally get the right RNG and not mess up the execution and it left me 500 unvigintillion cookies I have to do that at least four more times to get to one Trevor gentian it'll take me many weeks of grinding getting close to the combo but Falling short misclicking I at this point I just don't want to keep going it'll take too long but just after I said I would stop playing Cookie Clicker my mentor draon spoke to me this is you around you is what you are currently capable of further outwards is the darkness of the world your fears but also your hopes and dreams in every direction you face problems but the only way to grow to realize those hopes to real realiz those dreams is to go through the darkness face the fear with speed and vigor have faith that you will overcome them he's right I've always done that I faced things I was scared of the balloons leader board and Morgan Vera and her Army of grandmas one day I'll steal the Pope's hat I will keep fighting wait the Discord is yelling at me again I said I was about to finish the game with one Trevor gentian cookies they said I was a fool there are still achievements I haven't gotten cast 999 spells I can cast a cheap spells over and over that's not too bad level 10 grandmas okay that cost me 55 sugar lumps but I can do it wait level 10 temples level 10 spaceships level 10 alternate Dimensions there's an achievement for level 10 of every single building costing a total of 1,00 sugar lumps at minimum that'll take over 2 years to get that many lumps wait there's one more achievement black cats poor click 7,777 golden cookies I've been playing this game for over 600 hours over 6 months and I clicked just over over 2,000 golden cookies how on Earth am I supposed to get that especially since there is a shadow achievement 7 horseshoes click 27,7 77 golden cookies and this is a steam achievement it counts the Discord had exposed me to deeper knowledge than the human mind was ever supposed to witness and they had just begun it turns out there's a competitive leaderboard for Cookie Clicker I had no idea I was just playing for well I was going to say fun but I'm not sure most of the leaderboards include some scumbaggery I would be 21st in the world for most cookies baked without cheating that's way [ __ ] better than I expected okay maybe I have done pretty well but what's keeping me from getting top 10 it's always been Vera taking my cookies distracting me I would be number one if not for her side note please no one try to contact anyone named Vera in real life this is all for a silly cookie clip click a video and should not be taken into the real world so I booked a flight to Queensland Australia to meet Vera in person on the flight I planned my method of attack she's weak to kittens and rap battles I was designing the perfect weapon eventually I arrived and I was about to scream at Vera to come out and face me but then I saw something in front of her house is that an envelope my peace [Music] treating signed by Vera andu I have now broken free but I've got one last thing to say there are you for wellar one more thing before I go away seems like the end of my mission but you can barely see and so I know you didn't read the terms and condition one give me cookies two by my desk mat three tell a friend about Dron Des four description five and you'll see that six You' agreed to buy my now there is gone there's no one left who can defeat me to represent the constant battle we all face I've created this desk mat for a limited time you can be the proud owner of this amazing art work of the battles we've faced drag your mouse and keyboard over the high quality fibers while I stare into your soul just remember to read the terms and conditions I ended up leaving verah the lady fingers I assume if anyone's fingers look like that it's hers but not before I sacrificed one to the sun god so that it rises tomorrow you're welcome I'll see you all in 2 years when the sugar lumps are done growing
