Conrad Roy and Michelle Carter: When Words Can Kill. PART ONE

hello everybody welcome back to my channel I know I've been a little m.i.a lately you guys haven't had a video and like what roughly a week I took a little trip with my family to spend some time with the kids over a February break and honestly with the kids being off of school for a February break there wasn't much of a chance of me getting anything done anyways but I am back I know the set up today is a little bit different I'm sitting on the other side of my couch facing the other way but that is because this case today includes a lot of text messages and in order to get that all right I didn't want to retype them into my notes I wanted to read them directly from the document so I have the document up on my computer and that is why I'm over here so that I can refer to my computer when I am reading the text to you now I know in last week's alive I give you guys a little peek on what my next videos were gonna be on however I had to pivot a little bit because a case that I have been following for several years pretty closely it kind of came to a head and had a final decision on it this month and because the case was so important to me I felt compelled to make a video about that this case is the suicide of a Conrad Roy the third and the involvement of his girlfriend Michelle Carter in his death his case was so important and I feel compelled to make a video about it because this was the case where his girlfriend Michelle Carter had basically talked him into committing suicide via text message I have a lot of thoughts about this case there's a lot of information on this case so we are going to get started right after a word from our sponsor now I understand that there are some people who have a problem with me bringing sponsorships into every video and I don't bring them into every video for instance my Scott Peterson series that I just did I believe I only talked about a sponsor in one out of three of those videos however you have to understand that especially if you've been following me recently YouTube has been messing with my monetization they disabled all comments on every single one of my videos a couple of days ago because of this news issue with this guy who's on YouTube talking about child endangerment even though none of my videos have minors in them somehow somehow my comment section was destroyed and it took me a long time to get that back and it's just been a mess lately so I do have to bring sponsorships into these videos because every single video I do every case I do you have to understand the amount of work and effort and hours of my time that goes into creating the videos for instance this case that I'm talking about now I probably spent about 14 to 16 hours researching took me another five to six hours to get all my notes into and actually like organized manner and format that I could then tell you the story and you know hours and hours of editing and it's just a lot of work and I love doing it for you guys and I really hope 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so although many sponsorships have been thrown my way I don't accept them because it's possibly something I wouldn't use or I'm not familiar enough with the company or I just don't think it fits what you guys would want so I am a little picky with my sponsors but audible has always been great to me audible is something I use every single day so I feel completely comfortable suggesting it to you guys also if you want to join me for our Friday night wine and true-crime this coming Friday I am going to be going into greater detail about the whole issue with my comment section being disabled what's going on with YouTube recently and what I think about it because you know we always get a little crazy and loose on our line and true-crime Fridays let's get started on July 12th 2014 eighteen-year-old Conrad Roy the third took a walk with his golden retriever Holly when he got back home his mother asked him if he wanted to go with her and her sisters to horse neck beach in Westport Massachusetts he and his mother walked along the beach and they chatted about how he had just been offered a four-year scholarship to attend the same College as his best friend was going to afterwards Connor brought his sister's Camden and Morgan to get ice cream and his sisters and his mother said he seemed normal that day hopeful happy he did seem a little bit distracted by his cellphone he was texting quite a bit but otherwise he seemed just like his normal self when they got home about 6:30 that evening Conrad told his mother he was going to be visiting a friend and that he probably wouldn't be back home for dinner he then drove his black Ford f250 truck to a Kmart parking lot he placed a portable water pump powered by a gasoline engine in the backseat he got into the truck closed the doors shut all the windows and started running the water pump within minutes his truck had filled up with lethal carbon monoxide and Conor Roy was gone his life over before it even really began in August of 2017 a young woman named Michelle Carter was sentenced to 15 months in prison for involuntary manslaughter the prosecution said she was responsible for Conrad's death because she had coerced him into doing it via text what could have led a young man with a very promising future ahead of him to commit suicide what could have led a young woman who claimed to be his girlfriend and who claimed to love him to take part in his committing suicide to help him plan it to bully him into doing it let's find out who Conrad Roy was and who Michelle Carter was and how when the two met it changed both of their paths forever Conrad was born on September 12th 1995 in the seaside community of Mattapoisett Massachusetts his family described him as a goofy kid a kind of an instigator he was always the one who would start trouble but he always seemed to actually avoid getting into trouble they called him Coco for short because his father was Conrad Roy jr. and his grandfather was Conrad Roy senior and since they called Conrad's father Cole they thought Coco would have been a fitting name for his son he was athletic he played baseball in high school and he could often be found wearing a Boston Red Sox cap because it was his favorite baseball team he was really smart too he graduated from high school with a 3.8 GPA which earned him a free ride to Fitchburg State University or he planned on studying business he loved being on the water and he was basically born into it his father and his grandfather ran a family marine salvage business and he would often work with them even achieved the impressive accomplishment of earning his captain's license at the age of 18 at the time of his death he was trying to decide whether he should attend to college or if he should just skip it and go right to work for his family this where he figured he would end up anyways a lot of promise in such a young men so what went wrong it seemed like the catalyst to Conrad's mental issues began when his parents divorced in 2011 divorce can hit kids really hard in it often does I remember when I was seven and my parents have separated I really didn't understand what was going on I just knew my mom was crying and sad all the time and my dad who used to be around everyday no longer was Conrad would have been around fifteen when his parents divorced and you might think that it's easier for an older child to handle the stress and the change that a divorce can bring to a family but in fact that's not always true this is the time in adolescence when children are going to try to gain autonomy from their parents and become more independent even though teenagers are trying to pull away from their parents and establish themselves as a separate entity they still need to know that their parents are there to fall back on that they have a good and strong relationship and bond with their parents that everything is healthy and okay at home parents divorcing at this time and in adolescence development can enter up to this process it can cause the teen to feel like his or her parents are separating from them instead of the other way around this is also the time when depression is more likely in a child's life to rear its ugly head the additional stress of his parents divorcing added to the already boiling turmoil of emotions and hormones that were raging this pushed him over the edge and it caused some emotional problems including depression and social anxiety he began seeing several counselors and he was even hospitalized once at a psychiatric facility in October of 2012 he basically tried to drown himself by drinking too much water a few weeks later he took too many acetaminophen pills and he tried to overdose using those pills luckily a friend of his found out he took the pills and called for help he was clearly a troubled young men who's struggling with some dark things internally but this is not uncommon depression rates for children between the ages of 12 and 17 have risen 63% since 2013 which is scary if you think about it that's that's a big increase that's a scary statistic to think about and yeah I don't feel like enough people are paying attention to this can you imagine if there was a study done that said cancer in children between the ages of 12 and 17 had risen 63% in five short years how many people would be trying to find an answer to why that was happening and once they figured out what the cause of that was how many programs would be put into place for preventive measures to help these kids not to develop cancer so that they could live their lives fully why is nobody paying attention to how dramatically depression has taken over our children where are the preventive programs that are there to help children who are more susceptible to becoming depressed so that they can fight something they don't have the resources to fight on their own in 2012 with his parents divorce is still an open wound and his internal battles raging he met a girl named Michelle Carter they were both vacationing in Florida with their families Conrad's aunt knew Michelle's a grandmother and their cottages were just a few houses apart from each other they began to hang out quite a bit while they were on vacation and before they left Florida they exchanged numbers even though they had discovered that they didn't live a far away from each other they both lived in Massachusetts Conrad was in Metapod and Michelle was in Plainville just about an hour away from each other they didn't really ever see each other in person more than two or three times there wasn't even any pictures of them taken together they really maintained their relationship via social media and texting so who is Michelle Carter Michelle Carter was born on August 11th 1996 in Plainville Massachusetts she was described by her classmates as outgoing chatty and excitable she would often amuse her classmates with jokes and she was actually voted most likely to brighten your day in her senior superlative although Michelle was generally liked she didn't seem to have a friend group or any close friends but she was always trying to make friends or connect with other people her own age when she was eight or nine she allegedly developed an eating disorder which she was hospitalized for in 2011 she was prescribed medication of her depression when she was 14 and people she went to school with pretty much knew about her mental issues she didn't really try to hide it she kind of used these issues in order to gain sympathy and attention from her fellow classmates they noticed also that her weight would constantly fluctuate and she would make comments about being treated in McLean Hospital which was a psychiatric facility in Belmont Massachusetts the people who knew her said she was pretty naive about things like sex drugs and alcohol but she was very smart and she kept excellent grades in school now here's my opinion of Michelle Carter I don't know the girl personally obviously but I have spent days and days reading her text messages to Conrad to Conrad's family to friends or people she wanted to be friends with and here's my general opinion of her Michelle was a girl who was hungry for attention Michelle was a girl who was almost starving for some kind of human connection to other people her own age actually to anybody who would give her the attention that she craved as a result she would almost force herself on people her desperation being pretty clear which would in turn caused some people to withdraw and pull away her texts to girls at school were constantly her initiating the conversation and if they didn't respond she would send a text after text after text until they did and even if they responded with one or two word answers she would respond with paragraphs she would ask these girls if she wasn't getting the responses she wanted or if the responses were short she would say i annoying you or do i annoy you can I ask you a question am i annoying you and they'd be like no you're not in these conversations with girls she want to be friends with she was constantly bringing up her eating disorder or the fact that she was cutting herself she would make comments about it and then wait for them to ask her about it she was always saying oh I haven't eaten today or I haven't eaten in a couple of days I don't know why I just don't feel like eating so that they would then come to her and say Michele no you need to eat you know you need to you need to eat something you need to take care of yourself because they were well aware of her eating disorder everybody in school pretty much was she basically held these people captive by annoying the hell out of them yeah they didn't want to pull away and shut her down because they were people who felt bad they were worried about her they wanted to help her but they didn't really enjoy talking to her but they wanted to help her so they would continue to kind of you know minimally talk or offer her some help but she was able to tell when they would start pulling away and she would draw them back in with another cry for help needless to say these two people Conrad and Michelle both struggling with their different mental and emotional battles should probably not have maintained contact when you're an addict or an alcoholic in a rehab program they tell you don't get into a relationship with another addict or another alcoholic because not only can you guys not help each other when you're trying to help yourselves but it's just a bad and toxic relationship to have you end up talking about your drug of choice you end up obsessing or talking about alcohol you end up if you have a mental disorder and you're very close with somebody else who has a mental disorder you end up kind of focusing your conversations around your mental issues and instead of having hope or moving forward or thinking about something else that will distract you you end up kind of dwelling on these issues that you have anyone who is struggling with something like depression suicidal thoughts alcoholism addiction they have their own battles to fight and they're not in the right headspace to help you with yours and the conversations with Conrad and Michelle they start off pretty normally a couple of teens just discussing life and school and friends and things like that but they do shortly after beginning their communication start discussing Conrad and Michelle's own separate mental issues they talked to each other about how they're feeling what they're going through and it's not long before Conrad starts expressing to Michelle that he's considered killing himself and he's still thinking about it at first Michelle does what a normal person would do what a good friend should do and she discourages him from having these thoughts she tells him that's not the answer you're gonna be okay you just have to have hope you have to get help you should check yourself into the same psychiatric hospital that I'm at and we can get help together which is great we're off to a great start she's doing what a scene person would do she's doing what somebody who has a good moral fiber would do and she's telling him that life's worth living that killing yourself isn't the answer there's so many ways you can get help however I have to ask the question why would you keep this to yourself your friend is telling you he's considering killing himself he's tried it before and he wants to die and you just keep it to yourself you don't tell anybody okay let's give her the benefit of the doubt right let's say she didn't think it was that serious yet let's keep going so this is where I am going to refer to the document that has the text messages between a Conrad and Michelle in it so on June 1st 2014 Conrad is talking to Michelle about his social anxiety problems this is at 350 2 p.m. he says to her I have social anxiety Michelle responds I know you do and I wish you didn't there's no need to what exactly are you afraid of and Conrad says I try so hard for people to like me and people don't michelle responds well I like you and Conrad says I know I've learned a lot about myself over the last few days then Michelle says and maybe you shouldn't try so hard just let it come naturally not everyone is going to like you you have to realize that you can't please everyone just live your life not worrying about what other people think of you and keep the people who do like love you and care about you close because they are the ones who matter and then she asks him and really like what in response to him telling her he's learned a lot about himself over the past couple of days Conrad responds yeah I've heard it many times I don't know how to believe it though I want to be normal but what I learned is that I have to accept Who I am so I don't get depressed about who I'm not she responds and says I know what you mean like I try to make everyone like me - to be honest I don't even have like a friend group or anything that I hang out with I'm just like friendly to everyone and I don't really hang out with people a lot outside of school but I know who my friends are and I know they love me as much as I love them I know you have certain friends that love you too and support you and if you don't then you will find them but I'm so happy that you realize that Conrad that's great and so important like you're absolutely right if you don't love yourself and accept yourself for who you are then no one will this is the first step in getting people to like you if you're confident with yourself and can accept who you are then all the people who don't accept you can go suck a fat one because you don't need them in your life you are normal you just have a harder time talking to people it's not a bad thing and you'll fix it in time but being different isn't a bad thing I'm different haha and I have issues but I can accept that because it's Who I am Conrad responds to her you don't like compare yourself to others because I do but I can't help it and Michelle says no I do all the time she says I think why can't I be as pretty and funny and smart and stuff as them and why don't people want to hang out with me because like people tell me they love me and they'd want to hang out but they never make an effort to so I always think like why am I not good enough Conrad then tells her a story about how he was staying with his friend Tom at Fitchburg State University for a couple of days that summer he did end up staying with Tom for a little while because Tom wanted him to see what the dorm life was going to be like for when he enrolled in the fall cuz they would be living together and Conrad tells Michelle that he got social anxiety when he was with everybody he said he felt awkward and jealous because everyone else seemed to have such an easy time talking and communicating and having fun and he thought that they thought he was just kind of boring and had not to say he said he felt like people were just being nice to him because he was Tom's friend and they liked Tom but they didn't necessarily like Conrad he ended up having an anxiety attack and not wanting to be around these people and he left he went back home now Michele encourages him at this point she's saying you know you have to face your fear of social anxiety next time you're in this situation just breathe through it and stay and you'll get there little by little she's actually giving him really great advice he responds to her yeah but you know when College starts I'm going to be living there with these people all the time I'm gonna have very little breaks from having people around I just don't know if I can do it that's when she urges him to get mental help she says she's about to go check herself into McLean Hospital and he should go too and then they can work through their issues together they can be there together and deal with it she says to him in a text it's called McLean Hospital and Belmont mess I honestly think it would be so good for you and we could get through our issues together think about it you aren't gonna get better on your own you know it no matter how many times you tell yourself you are you need professional help like me people who know how to treat it and fix it good advice once again Michele great start but Conrad responds to her and he's like I'll talk to my parents but I don't think it's gonna help I don't think anything can help me with this I'm on my medication again that should be you know kicking in within the next couple of days or a week I'll be fine Michele responds to him I don't know I'm just scared and he says why are you scared and she responds for you I'm scared for you that you aren't going to get better and you'll become suicidal again and stuff Conrad responds to her with a sad face please don't mention it I've thought about that once in four days and I know it's not an option Michele responds to him okay good I'm sorry promise me right now that you won't conrad responds no there's no way and Michele responds thank you and then Conrad responds it just upsets me sometimes on June 19th Michele is in the psychiatric hospital and he texts her and asks if she can talk because it's urgent and she said the soon as she can talk is one-third and to just hang in there she texts him the same day at 5:00 p.m. and says I didn't know you liked me that much before and I'm so sorry that I ditched you a lot I should have realized what I had when I had it the reason why I ditched you so much was because I honestly thought you were too good for me I didn't think I was pretty enough or smart enough for anything that you wanted in a girlfriend I just didn't think I was enough for you I thought you deserved better so ditching you was my way of trying to make you move on because I didn't want to hurt you and I wanted you to find someone better but I realized how effing stupid that was and it made me realize how much I messed up you made me so happy Conrad for the first time in my life being your girlfriend was everything I've wanted in more I just took it for granted and I'm sorry you were the first boy who made me feel loved and important and visible and I want more than anything for you to be in my life forever you're one of the best things that has ever happened to me you still make me so happy and so proud and I want you to know that I'll never give up on you even when you give up on yourself I'll still be fighting for you always I know you don't want to date again but I'll always love you so what we're getting from these messages right is Conrad and Michelle have been talking since 2012 and at some point when they started talking after Florida they got into a relationship but something happened they exchanged messages that weren't so nice with each other and they ended up breaking up but then they would kind of on-again and off-again reconnect rekindle talk a little bit and then kind of float away from each other again I'm June 19th she texted him the mental hospital would help you I know you think they wouldn't but I'm telling you if you give them a chance they could save your life part of me wants you to try something and fail just so you can get help Conrad says I can't get better I already made my decision Conrad responded it doesn't help trust me Michelle responds to him so what are you going to do then keep being all talk and no action and every day go through seeing how badly you want to kill yourself or are you going to try and get better Conrad responds I can't get better I've already made my decision honestly in my opinion her using the words all talk and no action almost sounds to me like a taunt you know like a dare combative like do it you won't you won't do it right I'll talk into action something changed after that conversation in June I'm not sure what it was but something changed instead of Michelle discouraging him from committing suicide instead of her telling him what he had to live for she started almost planting the idea of suicide in his head I'm June 21st she says I'm scared when you get better you'll forget about me he responds to her oh and she says you won't will you because you did that in the past I was there and helped you out and then you just forgot all about me he says I won't on June 21st he text Michelle and says he feels like he will never get better she responds to him you're in a dark tunnel but it's not gonna last forever you'll find the light someday and I'm gonna be there to help you you didn't F up your life and you aren't enough up you're just lost but you're going to be found again I'll never stop looking you're gonna get through this okay I believe in you so much I love you he then says yeah I just have to take my time I keep regretting the past it's getting me upset and she responds take your life that's what she responds with he says I've take my time and Michelle responds take your life question mark no he didn't say take take his life Michelle he said he's gonna take his time to get better and you responded back with take your life I mean it's not as if she must hurt him it's a text she didn't miss read it she literally just came back with oh did you did you say you wanted to take your life he then responds to her with do you think I should she then says to him you're not gonna kill yourself you say all the time you want to but look you're still here all the times you wanted to you didn't you don't want to die you just want the pain to stop and Conrad responds to her that's true so he's saying I don't want to die I do just want the pain to stop then on 6:25 they're texting again and he says the past three days it's been in my head it's all I can think about and she responds think about what killing yourself once again Michelle he didn't say that he was thinking about killing himself he might have meant he's just thinking about his social anxiety issues he might have been thinking about you know how bad he feels about himself or just about his depression in general but once again she comes back with what you're thinking about killing yourself Conrad he responds yes but if I do something I'll let you know and she responds to him you are not going to do anything you always say this and Conrad says you don't know that once again she's challenging him do it you won't she texts back to Conrad can I ask you something if you don't have any hope of getting better then why are you holding on for so long I think deep down you have a bit of hope that you'll recover from this and you aren't killing yourself because a part of you knows you'll get better because if you didn't have any hope you would have already did it Conrad responds to her if I didn't have a family that loves me I would have already I feel like I have nothing to live for besides that and Michele responds to him well what about me she has to make everything about herself she needs constant validation that people like her that she's cared for that she's important to them constant validation the guy's literally talking about maybe not wanting to kill himself because he has a family to live for and she's like what about me aren't I important tell me I'm important then I'm June 26th Michele talks to Conrad about a girl named Alice who she spent her entire therapy session that day talking about now apparently Alice ruined Michele's life there is a whole backstory with Alice but it's not super relevant to this case until the end I think so I'm not gonna go into that you can look it up if you want but basically Michelle tells Conrad she has feelings for Alice or she thinks she had feelings for Alice and he's like what are you like bisexual and she's like I don't know I think maybe I just have like bisexual feelings for her but I don't think I am are you okay with that and he's like yeah you know whatever and she's like thanks for accepting me and then she says well it's not like me and Alice would have been together forever right because I have you now and he's like I guess and she's like what do you mean you guess and he's like if I can get myself out of this mess a few minutes later Conrad says we should be like Romeo and Juliet at the end and Michelle responds I'd love to be your Juliet and he says yeah but do you know what happens at the end and she responds oh yeah f no we are not dying he tells her he's just kidding and she says I thought you were trying to be romantic then Conrad tells Michelle that he just took his sleepy pills and he might be passing out soon so he's just warning her that if he stops talking he probably just went to sleep he ends the conversation by saying I just wish things were back to normal and I could feel happy again and not worry about other people and just love me that's all I want to be able to love me again on the 27th June 27th he tells her he signed up for this social media site where you can talk to people other people who are going through similar emotional or mental issues as you are and that he's made a new friend on there a guy from England who has been really helping him she's like that's great I'm so happy for you is he better at giving advice than me and Conrad's like no it's not about that he's just like going through similar things as I am so it's helpful so once again Michelle's got to bring the conversation back to her not great you're talking to somebody who can help you because I've been trying and clearly it's not working so you are now talking to somebody who can help you who's going through similar things but like is he better than me do you like him more than me like is he more important than I am I'm June 29th that Conrad tells Michelle he's been researching ways to kill himself that he's going to do it he tells her he tried water intoxication and that didn't work she comes back with I just don't get how you failed the attempt I don't think you really want to do this he says what do you mean failed at the attempt and she asks him how did you fail the water thing he responds to her I read a thing where if you drink enough water it could be fatal because it lowers your sodium levels I tried drinking all the water I could and nothing happened Michelle responds with that's a stupid way because your senses won't let you drown yourself your body and mind won't let you he responds while I went out bad she says well why haven't you done it already then I know you don't really want to die she's challenging him again you don't really want to die you're not gonna do it do it he tells her he's been looking up ways to die where it looks like an accident because he thinks if he dies in an accident it will be easier for his family to handle than if he commits suicide she says to him so if you didn't care about what others thought you would have killed yourself the easy way and he asks her well what's the easy way she says I don't know hanging yourself or overdosing I don't know he keeps telling her he hasn't never been happy he has split personalities he keeps copying everyone else because he can't be himself because he hates who he is she asks him well what do you want to be and he responds you don't understand I want to die she then says I know you want to but I just don't get why you're holding on if you want to so badly I know you want to and you research it and everything but are you actually gonna do it he says yes if I can find a way that will 100% work Michele says there is though you're just afraid of doing it he tells her 96% of attempts suicide attempts and in failures and she asks him well how badly do you want to be in that 4% Michele goes on to say I just don't get why you don't overdose again but go somewhere private he says it's probably the most painful way to die besides of burning to death she says what about hanging yourself or stabbing yourself Conrad says I have no place to do that and Michele responds yeah you do she goes on to say what about overdosing with sleeping pills or suffocating yourself with a plastic bag Conrad says well I've thought about those things but it's not a hundred percent that they'll work and Michele says well you've already said yourself that nothing's 100% sleeping pills would work Conrad asks her really and Michele says yes if you take a really huge amount of them you'll fall asleep and never wake up you say you want to die so badly Conrad but you aren't willing to try anyways to die you said nothing was 100 percent so all the kids in the world who have committed suicide knew that too but they tried and they were successful on June 30th Conrad tells Michele that he thinks he's going to try today and the kid from England is trying to help him figure out a way to do it she says to him is this kid serious which was my reaction to he says yeah his friend tried this thing and it worked so I'm gonna try it too she asks him if his friend committed suicide is shouldn't he be talking you out of it not helping you plan it which is ironic considering she's been helping him planet such as thing like maybe you should stab yourself what about suffocating yourself with the plastic bag well is is she for real he tells her he's going to order some poisonous seeds online because that's what the kid from England told him that the kid from England's friended so he's gonna order these poisonous seeds online and Michelle's like just drink bleach you know she's competing quick the guy from England and who can give Conrad the best way to commit suicide literally minutes before she was like why is he helping you plan this shouldn t be talking you out of it and then she's like no no no poisonous seeds that's not gonna work why don't you drink bleach this girl's whacked I'm sorry I'm sorry I know I shouldn't be giving so much my personal opinion about her right away but she's whacked Conrad tells her that he went to the therapist that day and he talked about life and she asks him if he told the therapist that he was gonna kill himself and he said lol no why would I and she says you're not gonna do anything today are you he says probably not you're right I'm all talk so at this point he's saying yeah I'm probably not gonna kill myself I'm all talk like you said you know we're good and she goes on to taunt him and bully him and make him feel like a failure for not being able to commit suicide she says I thought you were really going to because you've been researching ways a little later in the conversation she says she wants to see the fireworks with him on Friday which would been the 4th of July and he says he can't because every 4th of July he works with his father and his grandfather and they basically bring the fireworks out to the barge and she says I take it you're feeling better and he responds a lot better then she goes on to ask him are you serious and he says yeah I'm like back to normal and she says to him you can't change overnight like two days ago you wanted to die and now you're all better like she's mad she's mad that two days ago he wants to die and today today he doesn't want to die and she just she can't have that on July 1st she says to him I just want to make sure you're actually going to do it or if you're all talk because I need to get myself prepared I tried the best I could and I can never talk you out of it so at this point at this point at this point if you feel like you've tried everything you can and you cannot talk your committing suicide now is the time to get somebody else involved now is the time to call his mother now is the time to get him help that you clearly just said yourself you cannot give him but Michelle Carter doesn't do that later after he tells her he's been thinking about killing himself again and will probably do it when he gets back home she asks is tomorrow it and he says what and she says you said you were going to try when you got back home that's tomorrow he answers yeah I mentally drained and she says I don't think you're gonna actually do it and he says think what you want and she says well if tomorrow is going to be your last day alive I want to talk to you all day and he responds sure I'll talk to you and she says wait hold on are you serious about this and he says I've been serious so she responds to him yeah but tomorrow's the day and he says either that or Friday and she goes well today now it's 12:03 and he goes yeah you know she says I love you so much and he goes I love you too she says I can't believe this is really happening and he says what and she goes you're actually gonna do this like it's something exciting like I can't believe this is happening this is so exciting so now it's July 2nd to the early morning of July 2nd and she says everything I do is gonna be for you you're the love of my life I always knew you were special you're mine forever and he responds to her but my logic is I'm going to fail at it and do more damage to myself than what's already been done and end up going to a hospital for a while and doing everything over again she responds to him well then don't fail do what you're most confident doing Conrad responds but if I'm not alive how is it going to be for me I just know Jesus is going to be with me no matter what I do I haven't done anything really wrong my whole life I just want him to take me with him and be an angel like if I do end up dying I know I won't go to hell I don't belong there Michelle responds Jesus will take care of you babe you'll be happy and protected in heaven I just want you to finally be happy so so happy and if this is the only way you think you're gonna be happy heaven will welcome you with open arms you're gonna be the most beautiful angel there ever was you're gonna be my angel you won't go to hell I promise you that heaven needs a hero so then Conrad and Michelle they go to bed but at 9:00 am she text him and says okay well of course your family is gonna grieve for you I mean whenever people lose someone they love they grieve and they are hysterically sad for a good month but then it gets better and they won't be as sad they will always remember you in good times and memories your mom will definitely be sad and lost for a few weeks but she will get better and she has support from family and friends she will know that you just wanted to be happy and instead of crying for you she will smile knowing that you're in a better place your parents are not failures and they will not think they are they tried everything they could but your issues one yeah they'll probably blame themselves for a while but they will get over it and learn to accept it they will live for you just like I will they will be okay I promise I'll even call your mom every now and then and check in okay so if it's my son and he's talking to this girl about killing himself and worried that it's gonna hurt his family and the girl responds to him your mom's gonna be sad for a couple weeks but she'll be fine she'll be happy for you I would lose my mind how dare Michelle Carter speak for Conrad's mom and say she'll be sad for a few weeks but she'll be happy for you in the end I can promise you that no mother who loses their child will be sad for a couple of weeks and then happy for them how dare Michelle Carter speak for Conrad's mother and tell Conrad your mom's gonna be fine I promise you that Lin Roy Conrad's mother is not fine I promise you that Lin Roy's sadness and absolutes devastation at losing her son will last far more than a few weeks later that day Michelle texts him and asks are you planning it out and he says yes and she asks him what method and he says I'm not sure then she asks him when tomorrow and he goes I don't know then Conrad sends her a link of a website that's titled the best way to kill yourself and she responds to him I just looked at it that guy knows what he's talking about are you gonna try one of those ways are you gonna leave a note he responds yeah I'm not gonna take any pills and I don't want to leave a mess so it leaves me with still a few options she responds you don't want to try the sleeping pills and what options he responds no he said you'd need to save up for three months for it to put you to sleep and never wake up she responds to him not if you take a lot of alcohol he asks her who said she responds in the article that's what it said if you take a lot mixed with alcohol it will relax him enough that you'll fall asleep and not wake up he responds to her I don't have enough and there's no refills she says true and he goes true so she then asks him well what do you have in mind and he says well three things she goes okay explain he says I'll tell you one time in the process she goes what do you mean the process and he says don't worry I'll let you know before and she says before you do it and he says yeah then he says to her if you want we can hang out tomorrow and she responds so you're completely serious about this like you're definitely doing it well how would we hang out I thought you were doing it tomorrow and he responds to her I'm probably gonna do it really late at night she asks him why late at night and he responds I feel like that's the best time I don't know I want to see you again she goes will see me change your mind he says I don't know I'd rather spend the day with you than alone this is still July 2nd she texts Conrad and says can I ask you something and he says of course and she says to him are we basically dating and Conrad said how does that make sense she says to him well even when you're not my boyfriend I still know you are and Conrad says you expect me to pay alright she says yeah kind of why I just don't think you're gonna really try he says well I'm more confident in doing it now probably cuz she keeps telling him he's not gonna do it she responds to him and I'm starting to believe you that's the sad part but you didn't answer my question he answers her and says well I'll be with you up there someday she says to him you're basically my boyfriend you're mine and I'm yours haha when you die a part of me is going to die too I always thought you were going to be in my life forever I thought we were gonna grow old together I never imagined it was gonna end this way but you'll be in my heart forever and I always look up at the sky and smile at you he responds to her and I'll be looking down at you smiling back when you accomplish all your goals and you fight your eating disorder and you'll be able to love your body and yourself July 3rd he says he's going to kill himself and he says to her you know good night I'll see you in the next life and she responds back to him Conrad answer me please I fell asleep I'm so sorry that's not how you say goodbye to me this isn't funny answer me right now Conrad I love you so much please say you love me back this isn't real right you're not actually doing this right now are you you know she doesn't care if he kills himself just not before saying goodbye properly to her I'm so sorry I couldn't save you please come back this is not happening you're my best friend or my boyfriend I'd love you so much please don't leave me so she's texting him all of this at 12:25 a.m. and then a 9:30 6 a.m. he texts her back and he says hey sorry I just took some sleeping pills and fell asleep she gets pissed she writes back to him so it didn't work that's such a lie you said you wanted this bad I knew you weren't gonna try hard I feel like such an idiot and he says why and she says because you didn't even do anything you lied about this whole thing you said you were gonna go to the woods and do it and you said things that made me feel like maybe you were actually serious and I poured my heart out to you thinking this was gonna be the last time I talked to you and then you tell me you took sleeping pills which first of all I know that's a lie because you already said you wouldn't get enough and I don't know how you would have got them I'm just so confused I thought you really wanted to die but apparently you don't I feel played and I'm just stupid she's mad because he didn't kill himself like he said he would he responds to her with his poor kid don't I found out a new plan and I'm gonna do it tonight she says I don't believe you you're gonna have to prove me wrong these I just don't think you really want this you just keep pushing it off to another night and say you'll do it but you never do she tells him you're gonna have to prove me wrong you're saying you're gonna kill yourself I don't believe you you need to prove me wrong and killing yourself he responds to her okay she says okay what and he says I'll prove you wrong she asks him what are you planning on doing poison would work and he responds to her carbon monoxide or helium gas I want to deprive myself of oxygen she asks him how are you gonna get these things he says I wish I had a gun she goes would you use it he said yes she says do you know anyone who has one and he says I'm sorry I didn't do it last night took a handful of pills and went to sleep I don't know I wanted to have one last good night of sleep and I did she goes don't be sorry I understand that I'm happy you got that good night of sleep because I'm just still kind of in shock that you're still here because I honestly thought you did it last night when you didn't answer back he says don't feel like an idiot it's gonna happen she goes tonight he says eventually and she says in all caps see that's what I mean you keep pushing it off you just said you were gonna do it tonight and now you're saying eventually and he says by Monday and she goes is that the deadline and he says yeah I promise so it's anyone who says that she didn't bully him or push him to do this she's yelling at him because he didn't kill himself and he finds himself apologizing to her because she feels stupid that she believed he was gonna kill himself and he didn't I am now actually gonna fast-forward through because not only is this upsetting me to rebase again but it's much of the same just her getting mad at him when he says he's pushing it off her giving him ways researching ways that he can do it giving him options it's just disgusting so so let's just fast forward to July 11th at 7:40 p.m. Conrad texts Michelle and says what are you doing and she responds watching Glee haha you I feel like this may be the problem with Glee I I blame Glee for everything honestly it's such a bad show he says playing one last game of madden and she says haha ah that's good and he says ah I know right he says can you do me a favor and she responds yes of course and he says just be there for my family and Michelle says Conrad of course I will be there for your family I will help them as much as I can to get through this I'll tell them about how amazing their son and brother truly was I am so blessed and thankful that I got the chance to know you like I did and that you let me love you and that you loved me in return and she literally asks him like when you die can you give me some sign that you're watching down on me like when you're a ghost or a spirit so this is July 12th now at 4:19 a.m. so the very early morning hours of July 12th this is the day that he actually kills himself and you will see that all day long she bullied him and persisted in getting him to actually take action and be a man of his word so around 419 a.m. Conrad texture and says hey sorry I fell asleep and she responds to him it's okay why haven't you done it yet though and he says I'm too messed up too and she asks him what are you talking about and he says to her my head Michelle says you can't think about it you just have to do it you said you were gonna do it like I don't get why you aren't and he responds to her I don't get it either I don't know she responds to him so I guess who aren't gonna do it then all that for nothing I'm just confused like you were so ready and determined and he responds I'm gonna eventually so this is the day he commits suicide he's saying I'm to my stuff right now my head's a mess I don't know why I'm not doing this but I will eventually you know just not today he said I don't know what I'm waiting for but I have everything lined up I really don't know what I'm waiting for and she says no you're not Conrad last night was it you keep pushing it off and you say you'll do it but you never do it's always gonna be that way if you don't take action you're just making it harder on yourself by pushing it off you just have to do it now do you want to do it now he responds to her it's too late you know it's 4:30 2:00 in the morning at this point he says I don't know it's already light outside I'm gonna go back to sleep I love you I'll text you tomorrow she responds to him no it's probably the best time now because everyone's sleeping just go somewhere in your truck and no one's really out right now because it's an awkward time if you don't do it now you're never gonna do it and you can say you'll do it tomorrow but you probably won't after she says this he says thank you and she responds for what are you awake and he said yes and she said are you gonna do it today and he said yes and she responded like in the daytime and he asks should I and she says yes it's less suspicious you won't think about it as much and you'll get it over with instead of waiting until the night then he asks her yeah then I will like where like I could go to an enclosed area and she says to him go in your truck and drive in a parking lot somewhere to a park or something do it now like early and Conrad says didn't we say this was suspicious and Michelle says no I think night is more suspicious a kids in this car just turn on the radio and do it it won't be suspicious and it won't take long he says alright I'm taking Holly for a walk and she goes okay so Holly is his golden retriever and he took her for a walk that day he texts her back like ten minutes later and he says I don't know why I'm like this and she says sometimes things happen and we never have the answers why and he responds to her like why am I still hesitant lately two weeks ago I was willing to try everything and now I'm worse really bad and I'm not following through it's eating me up inside so he's telling her I'm so hesitant about killing myself I'm not following through why instead of saying Conrad because you probably don't want to kill yourself you shouldn't kill yourself I don't want you to kill yourself she says you're so hesitant because you keep overthinking it and pushing it off but you just need to do it Conrad the more you push it off the more I'll eat at you you're ready and prepared all you have to do is turn the generator on and you'll be free and happy no more pushing it off no more waiting and he says you're right if you want it as bad as you say you do it's time to do it today and he says yup but no more waiting Michelle says okay I'm serious like you can't even wait till tonight you have to do it when you get back from your walk and he says thank you and she goes for what and he says still being there she says I would never leave you you're the love of my life my boyfriend you're my heart I'd never leave you he says ah she says I love you and he says I love you too then she asks him when will you be back from your walk and he said five minutes and she goes okay are you gonna do it and he says I guess I guess he's not he doesn't want to do this she says well I want you to be ready and sure he goes I don't know I'm freaking out again I'm overthinking and she says I thought you wanted to do this the time is right and you're ready you just need to do it you can't keep living this way you just need to do it like you did last time and not think about it and just do it babe you can't keep doing this every day he said I do want to but like I'm freaking out for my family I guess I don't know Michelle says Conrad I told you I'll take care of them everyone will take care of them to make sure they won't be alone and people will help them get through it we talked about this they will be okay and accept it people who commit suicide don't think this much and they just do it he says I know I know lol thinking just drives me crazy exactly she says you just need to do it Conrad or I'm gonna get you help you can't keep doing this every day he says okay I'm gonna do it today and she says do you promise he said I promise babe and she said and you can't break a promise and you just go to a quiet parking lot or something he said okay she says go somewhere you won't get caught you can find a place I know you can so then Conrad text Michelle when he's on his way back from the beach that he went to with his family and he says he's gonna be home and then he's gonna do it and he's telling her he's worried know about killing somebody else because he's gonna put the generator in the back seat and he doesn't want them to hurt themselves when they find him and open the door and she says you're overthinking they'll see the generator and realize you breathes in Co and he asks should I keep it in the back seat or front and she says in the front you could write on a piece of paper and tape it saying carbon monoxide or something if you're scared he said I was thinking that but someone might see it before it actually happens she says well wait the generator is gonna be on because you'll be passed out so they'll know you used carbon monoxide poisoning it's not loud is it and he said not really lmao and she goes okay good are you gonna do it now he says I'm home she goes okay he says ah and she goes what he goes I'm just stressing she says you're fine it's gonna be okay you just got to do it babe you can't think about it okay okay I got this he says yes you do I believe in you did you delete the messages yes but you're gonna keep messaging me she says I will until you turn on the generator he's saying I really I don't know if I want to do this she's like don't think about it just do it how smart is that advice to somebody wants to kill themselves don't think about it you're over thinking this I know it's your life I know there's literally no taking it back but you're overthinking this you just need to do it she incessantly texts him just do it just do it just do it oh my god she said just do it or when are you gonna do it so many times I literally felt like it was a Nike commercial I couldn't believe how many times she said are you gonna do it you're not gonna do it just do it it was it was hideous and she's telling him delete our text ink on she doesn't want anybody to find out the things she's been saved in did you delete the texting conversation he's like yeah but you're gonna keep texting me right he's terrified he wants to know that his cheerleader the the cheerleader for his death is still there with him because he if left to his own devices would not have done this if he was alone and he didn't have somebody in his ear for literally almost a month leading up to this day saying you gonna do it you're gonna do it you're gonna do it Conrad just do it just do it if he did not have that I truly believe this would not have happened because he was second-guessing himself he was thinking about it in great detail he was worried about leaving his family and more than that I think he really thought maybe this isn't the best idea so at 6:25 p.m. he texts Michelle I'm almost there at 6:28 p.m. a phone call is made between Michelle and Conrad and that lasts for 43 minutes at 7:12 p.m. another phone call is made between Michelle and Conrad and that lasts for 47 minutes this call would be the last time Conrad would make a call in his phone or send a text from his phone because during this phone conversation with Michelle he died at some point during his conversation with his love and girlfriend Michelle he sat in his truck rolled up the windows and he he was gone both of the calls between Michelle and Conrad they bounced off of the cell tower located within one mile of the Kmart parking lot where Conrad took his life at evening at 8:03 p.m. Conrad's sister received a text from Michelle Carter saying hey Camden this is Michelle Carter not sure if you remember me but I'm dating your brother again haha she goes on to say that Conrad isn't answering her texts or her calls and she's worried about him do you know where he is Camden and Camden responds that she's not sure she's not with him but she's gonna ask her mom and then she's like how did you know my number by the way and Michelle's like Oh Conrad gave it to me a while ago haha didn't mean to freak you out at this point Camden tells Lynn Conrad's mother that Michelle is looking for Conrad Lynne Roy had Matt Michelle once in 2013 at one of Conrad's baseball games and Michelle had walked up to her and introduced herself but Lynne didn't know they were dating Conrad never talked about Michelle she just thought this was one of his friends one of his many girlfriends that he had because he was you know seeing and talking to many different girls so she's like ah this Michelle girl says that her and Conrad are dating but Conrad that Knight had told his mother he was going to a different girls house so Conrad's mother Lin was like well just tell Michelle that Conrad's at his dad's house we don't want to tell her that he's with another girl and start something we'll talk to Conrad about it later and iron this all out Lin Roy then texted Conrad about 10 p.m. to ask him when he would be home and of course he does not respond to this text message and keep in mind as Michelle is texting Conrad's family asking where he is do you guys know she knows where he is she knows he's gone she was on the phone with him when he did it at 10:30 6 p.m. at Camden response to Michelle and says he's in my dad's house right now so why I texted my dad and he says Conrad is sleeping Lin fell asleep around 11 o'clock that night but she did wake up at 1:30 noticed Conrad's truck wasn't in the driveway and texted him to find out where he was now she says she wasn't too concerned because the week before he'd been with a girl and they'd had like a bonfire and he didn't get home till after 2:00 but he never stayed out all night so when he didn't respond her at 1:30 she went back to sleep she woke up again at 5:30 noticed his truck still wasn't there she drove by the girl's house that he said he was with didn't see his truck she drove by her ex-husband's house Conrad's father didn't see his truck and that's when she panicked and she called the police to file a missing-persons report so this is now July 13th it's 1004 a.m. right Conrad's family is looking for him they're desperately trying to find their son they don't know where he is and Michelle is texting Camden again and asks is your mom mad at me Camden's like no we just we don't know where Conrad is we're looking for him is your mom mad at me Michelle is always wondering how people feel about her is somebody mad at me am i annoying you guys am i texting you too much did I do something to ops you know nobody's mad at you they're stressed out because they can't find Conrad at 10:17 Michele says I'm going to help you come look I'm just waiting for my mom to come home and she literally keeps inundated Conrad sister Camden with texts and she's not getting responses or she's getting one-word responses but she keeps texting and she says did you find him yet Camden says no she says okay just stay positive let me know when was the last time you guys talked to him Camden says last night then Michele again is like have you found him yet and like what time last night Camden's like listen another friends helping us look right now like we've got this and Michele's like what friend what friend somebody is helping you somebody is supporting you other than me oh no and did I mention that after she sat on the phone with him and listen to him die Michele continued to text Conrad's phone and nine 19 in the evening of the 12th she's texting him saying please answer me I'm scared are you okay I love you please answer then at 10:38 p.m. she writes you're at your dad's Camden told me I'll get you help soon I guess I thought you actually did it now at this point I don't know if she's covering or if she actually thinks maybe he didn't go through with that but either way kind of sketchy the next morning at 10:01 a.m. she texts conrad again and says i'm gonna tell your mom you need help i can't stand to see you this way anymore and i can't live like this you need to get help whether you want to or not and at this point i think she knows he's gone i think she knows he's gone because these two kids spend every day and night texting like they would text until one two three in the morning fall asleep and wake up a couple of hours later and resume their texting he had not texted her all night she knew he was gone now I think she's trying to cover and never once does she tell Camden or Conrad's mother Lynne you know he was talking about killing himself he was actually trying to do it he was trying to find a parking lot you know I'm worried she doesn't say any of that why she literally acts like she hasn't talked to him and he's not answering and she doesn't know where he is Fairhaven Police Officer David Carrera was dispatched to the home of linoy around 2:00 p.m. on the afternoon July 13th she gave him Konrad the description showed him a picture gave him the description of the vehicle Conrad was driving as well as the plate number and David Carrera he issued a bolo for the surrounding areas which is a be on the lookout and he also filed a missing persons reports and then he kind of took it upon himself to go out and search for Conrad on his own he called AT&T to have Conrad's phone traced and Conrad's phone had pinged off a tower that was located on a local farm so they kind of knew that it would be within a one-mile radius of that area and officer Carrera started on fish island in New Bedford because the family had like a dock there so he thought maybe Conrad would be there when he didn't find anything he started making his way back towards a Fair Haven as he was driving back towards Fair Haven he saw a black truck which matched the description of Conrad's truck and he thought maybe this is Conrad so he started following the truck trying to get close enough to see the plate to see if this was the truck this truck which ends up not being Conrad's truck obviously this truck leads him to the Kmart parking lot where Conrad's truck is actually part and as officer Carrera is driving through the Kmart parking lot following this other truck he sees Conrad's black f250 and at the corner of his eye he looks a little closer and notices that the plate does match Conrad's plate pulls up parks behind the truck he walks over towards the driver side and he sees Conrad in the car slumped over the steering wheel clearly not alive any longer he called in for backup and he also called to the fire department because he noticed that there was a generator inside and because of the carbon monoxide poisoning they had just been trained because of another isolated incident that had nothing to do with Conrad but they've just been trained that if something like this happens you have to wait for the hazmat team to come and clear the vehicle so that you're not putting yourself or anyone else in danger when you're opening the vehicle the fire department did send somebody who cleared the vehicle said it was okay to open the door and they opened the door they found Conrad in the car he had no pulse he was already in a process of rigor mortis and they noticed his skin is kind of a cherry rat as opposed to a purplish red which typically happens lend lividity sets in his skin was a cherry red because of the carbon monoxide inhalation Conrad was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses and he had a cell phone tucked into the waistband of his shorts officer Carrera took the cell phone and he put it into evidence but they didn't have the code to the phone so they couldn't look into it just yet the family was notified and Camden let Michelle know that her brother had been found dead and had committed suicide Michelle then texts lynn roy and says i'm so very sorry conrad meant so much to me and he was loved by so many if you and your family need anything let me know he was such a bright light such a beautiful soul please stay strong we are all here for you and your family he was such an amazing son because he had such an amazing mother I will talk to you soon Michelle begins texting with Conrad's mother and sister quite a bit asking about the funeral asking about the arrangements offering her support offering to come by which everybody thought was kind of strange because Michelle had never been to their house when Conrad was alive so why would she come over after he was dead the Monday after Conrad's body was discovered a detective gets his hands on Conrad's phone and this is detective Scott Gordon and I believe that detective Scott Gordon is the real-life detective Gordon from Batman because this guy he knew something was up and something was wrong and he dove deep into this case [Music] [Music] if you want [Music]

Channel: Stephanie Harlowe

Views: 567,889

Keywords: conrad roy, michelle carter, texting suicide, true crime, stephanie harlowe, stephanie harlow

Id: R0Q8txF6deU

Length: 66min 0sec (3960 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 27 2019